Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Emily the Criminal - I saw that this got fairly decent reviews, so my expectations were pretty high and it definitely didn't deliver. It's very mediocre. I appreciate that Aubrey Plaza has broken free of her Parks & Rec character, but her performances don't always work for me. This is one of those times - I winced at her New Jersey accent and there is something off with her timing (like she's trying to remember her lines? I hate that. Timothee Chalamet (Chamalet?? I still don't know which one is correct and I don't care enough to look it up) does it too and it drives me insane). I also LOVE Theo Rossi but whatever accent he is doing here is quite shockingly bad. The plot and pace kind of has an Uncut Gems quality to it, but then it loses steam instead of intensifying. There's really not much else to say about it, but I do have stuff to say about the "criminal" part as someone who has worked in retail for 20+ years. First of all, I'm pretty sure most retail companies have forgone background checks. You fill out an application and check the "I consent to a background check", but it's never actually done (same for reference checks). I'm told it isn't cost effective. My point is, if you have a checkered past, you can still get a job in retail just by smiling and being pleasant in an interview. Work your way up, and *boom* you can make a decent living. Second, most large retailers do not let you swipe cards anymore? At least in NJ? You have to have a card with a chip unless it's like an Amex/Visa type gift card. Which is why most stolen credit card information is used online now not in stores. I just can't see a retailer letting someone *swipe* a card for a large purchase like a television. Third, I know most people see stealing from retailers as a "victimless" crime, but it really sucks for the staff - we have goals for how much "loss" is acceptable within a year and if we don't hit the goal they actually cut hours (which doesn't make sense because then there is even less people to watch for theft), but that means less money for the staff and eventually if the store doesn't hit their goal for multiple years they will close the store (and people lose their jobs). Side-note: my store came in # 6 for the lowest amount of loss in the entire company (IN NEW JERSEY), and I'm convinced that people don't steal from us because we are too nice (CUSTOMER SERVICE BABY). Of course we do have people who do some shady shit (mostly fake returns - so they don't actually swipe the merchandise from us, they just return it to our store - which hurts the company but not our store specifically). Anyway, none of this is about the actual movie, but thought I would give some insight from a retailer perspective. Probably more interesting than watching this, to be honest. 

2. Spirited - This is a cute holiday movie. I can see it being added to the rotation of Christmas movies and I don't mind it. It's pretty much an updated version of A Christmas Story. I like that the musical numbers are very traditional feeling as opposed to the Hamilton style rapping that has seemingly taken over a lot of musicals nowadays (none of them do it right, not even Hamilton - sorry, I hate it so much. I know I'm a minority in this). The "Good Afternoon" number is probably my favorite, but they are all fun. I'm not the biggest Ryan Reynolds fan, and I do think he's the weakest link here (and the many references to him being hot just really blow my mind). The highlight is surprisingly Tracy Morgan as the Yet-To-Come spirit voice ("I'm tired of being the guy who points at stuff!" LOL). There are some fun cameos (*spoiler*** the Judy Dench one is the best. I laughed out loud. And Rose Byrne in the beginning as "Karen" who is a very typical "Karen". I truly feel bad for people named Karen, now). The only real criticism I have is that it could have been a cool, fun 90 minute holiday classic, but they added in 40 whole minutes of absolute fluff. It's dragged out waaaaaay too long. 

3. Top Gun: Maverick - The popularity of this film, honestly, is insane. Actually, not the general popularity, but the popularity among film people is what is most surprising. I've seen it listed on practically everyone's Top 10 list. t's not a bad movie, but it's certainly not great. I wasn't really the biggest fan of the original one (again, it's okay?). There is just nothing special about this, it's incredibly predictable (I felt like I could recite every line of dialogue before the characters said it), and it is *most definitely* pro-war, pro-military propaganda (and like super, duper GO AMERICA GO energy). I also didn't really find it very fun? And WORST OF ALL, I'm not attracted to not even ONE of those men! Miles Teller looks ridiculous with that mustache and those blonde streaks. Glen Powell is a cutie (and so funny in Scream Queens - definitely the best part of that show), but there is something about him that is too wholesome for me. I've never liked Tom Cruise. In fact, I actively don't like him as a person and he's only given a total of *one* truly great performance. I will concede that he is very charming and likeable, and always gives every performance 100% (I will let you do the guessing as to what the *one* truly great performance is...). I do really, really, like both Jay Ellis and Manny Jacinto but neither are given much to do (did Manny even have any lines????). OH WAIT, I guess there is someone in the cast who I'm attracted to - Jennifer fucking Connelly. How does she keep getting hotter??? It's so unfair. Anyway, this movie is the epitome of average to me. *shrugs shoulders*

4. The Banshees of Inisherin - I think I wanted to like this more than I did, but I still really liked it. There's just a tinge of disappointment, though, which is frustrating because it's more about expectations than the actual movie. I love that people seem to be appreciating Colin Farrell more this year (he's had an incredible year with this, After Yang, The Batman, and Thirteen Lives. Completely different genres and roles, and he's brilliant in all of them). Martin McDonagh has directed one of my favorite movies of the last decade (and perhaps ever? It's probably among my top 20 all-time), and I know you're expecting me to say In Bruges (although released longer than a decade ago, still probably his most well-received), but I'm talking about Seven Psychopaths. I love it so much. It's endlessly rewatchable, smart and layered, really funny with not only laugh out loud moments, but also some very dark and subtle humor. And that cast. Anyway, I obviously love In Bruges too, and Three Billboards is very good but suffered the same fate for me (I wanted it to be better than it is). There are some really lovely moments in this that are somehow heartbreakingly sad, while still being hopeful and resonating. The one that seems to be shared a lot is the "well there goes that dream" scene, which honestly only works because of Barry Keoghan's brilliant performance. He is the standout in this for me. Just every movement, expression, inflection in his voice feels intentional but authentic - and I don't think a lot of actors can successfully accomplish this without it feeling forced. I think there is a lot of interesting dialogue, not only about friendship and loneliness, but about leaving a legacy in the world vs being a kind and good person to the world in front of you. It's hard to admit it, but in the past, I've done exactly what Gleeson's character does. I dropped people from my life - specifically, when I left my hometown and went to college. I stopped talking to my best friends for no real reason other than I wanted to start fresh, and I felt like they were holding me back from doing that. It was incredibly selfish and hurtful, I realize that now. But I also see a lot of people who still talk to their high school friends 20+ years later, even though they have nothing in common and they don't even really like each other. It feels so forced and it doesn't really make much sense to me. But I'm also a loner, and having more than like 5 friends seems like way too much energy. Anyway, as I've gotten older, I've realized that being kind is probably *the* single most important attribute to ones personality. It's not always the easiest, and in some cases it's not a natural instinctual reaction, but people will remember you for it. I promise. 

5. Ticket to Paradise - It's crazy to me that there is a rom-com starring Julia Roberts & George Clooney and it barely made any money and nobody is talking about that as a problem (and yet Amsterdam and Babylon are getting lambasted even though they are both films that are not really marketed to non-film people. When I think about "non-film" people, I always use my mom as an example. Would my mom want to see this? And the answer is definitely no for both Amsterdam and Babylon, but most definitely a yes for this, and I guarantee you she doesn't know this movie exists). The even crazier thing is that it's actually really cute! My mom would love it! And Kaitlyn Dever is in it! She's so good (and very perfect casting). I like that the plot is about enjoying your life and being present in the moment, versus living the life that is expected. I do think that this is a privilege that only people with money can really enjoy, but I think a lot of people with money don't take advantage of this. Seriously, if I had money like this, I would just travel around the world and lay on every beach I could find. Instead, people tend to just find ways to...make more money...that they aren't even enjoying? Makes zero sense to me (but also I stand by the advice that my uncle gave me, which is to seriously sit down and figure out what you want in life, how much money that costs. Find that "number" and once you have that "number" or are on the path to that "number", sit back and enjoy it. Basically, find your "enough"; instead of constantly stressing yourself out to have "more than enough". I recently took a step down at work, which baffled a lot of people, but when I analyzed my financial well-being vs my mental well-being, I realized that the lower position was still "enough" money, but the stress level was infinitely less. Seemed like a no-brainer.). I'm on a tangent, shocking, I know, but I think this movie has a a lovely lesson, and a whole lot of heart. Clooney and Roberts have obvious chemistry, and seem to have a lot of fun together. The scene with them dancing to the "old people" music like "Gonna Make You Sweat" and "Jump Around" is hilarious. The best part is, by far, the bloopers in the credits (usually this only happens with bad movies, now, but this one is an exception). - the Batman prank is gold, but also Julia's quip "It's just George Clooney, we have another one" made me laugh so hard.