Movie Marathon: The Alien Movies

1. Alien - This is a rare 5 star movie. It's a masterpiece, and surprisingly, I didn't always feel this way. But this is one of those times, when I'm more objective in my rating, because even though I think it's a 5 star movie, I probably wouldn't list it in my favorite films, some of which I've rated lower (like Ocean's Eleven is rated 4.5 stars, for me, but I personally LOVE IT). That's not to say that I don't love this movie, because I do, because technically speaking - it's perfect. I used to have it rated 3.5 stars, but now that I've reevaluated it, I just can't deny that it should be 5 stars. And it really hasn't been topped, as far as alien movies go. It just starts off so strong, too - straight from the amazing title card to the first scene that shows the audience the layout of the ship. Just the design of the alien, the build-up of suspense, the iconic burst through the stomach, the android that is so perfectly human-like, etc. It's so faaaar ahead of its time - with one of the strongest & boldest female characters ever to grace the screen. Plus the two women and black characters out-survive their white male counterparts!! Sigourney Weaver just crushes this role too - and she's so sexy. I feel like she made white bikini style underwear, like, the hottest thing a woman can wear. It's sexier than lingerie (I said what I said). She just became such an icon and a blueprint for so many future female characters. 

2. Aliens - I know that there is a huge fanbase that thinks this sequel is better than the original, but there's just no way! There's a lot I like about it, for sure. I like that it switches up the genre, that the story feels like an organic evolution of the original and of Ripley's future, Bill Paxton was the fucking BEST, it's more quotable ("Game over, man. Game over." and "They mostly come out at night...mostly." are BACK TO BACK DIALOGUE!!), and this mother/daughter relationship that is formed between Ripley and Newt gives the story more heart (sidenote: the girl who plays Newt is such a strong little actress, I'm surprised that she didn't continue acting, but apparently she quit acting and became a school teacher!). But, I also think it's kind of stupid how everyone thinks it's a big fucking joke when people literally died and others might be dead. And she doesn't instantly assume that there's another "Ash" (an android)? That's just stupid! There aren't any real big shocks or reveals that I didn't already feel coming. It's still really, really good; just not a masterpiece like its predecessor. 

3. Alien 3 - There's a lot of hate for this third entry into the franchise, for good reason. I've only watched it once before (as a trilogy - sometime in the late 90s, when I was in high school, I watched Alien, Aliens, and Alien 3 each for the first time all at once as a marathon), and I remember being SO angry at this one. It's just insane that they start the story by killing off Newt, after Ripley worked so hard to protect her. It sort of negates the whole point of Aliens, and it changes Ripley into an unrecognizable character. The whole story becomes about her giving up and wanting to die. How did they think that was something an audience would want to see? It's also very ugly and yellow, but not a lot of people want to admit that because they are up Fincher's ass. Not everything he does is gold - in fact, he has more mediocre films than good ones (fight me!). After this rewatch, though, I didn't hate it as much as I did the first time. On its own, it's still an entertaining film, with a great cast, and some cool sci-fi designs. It's just a hard fall from the first two. 

4. Alien: Resurrection - And speaking of falls, this one goes right off of a cliff! This is actually, I think, my first watch of this. I vaguely remember Winona Ryder, and some scenes seemed familiar, but I think it's because I caught it on tv a few times, but only watched snippets (I'M OLD! This is a thing we used to do! We would turn on the tv and just watch whatever was on! Crazy times). And speaking of Ryder, she is awful in this. I don't always think she's a great actress, but I love her anyway (although I think it's just a product of being miscast a lot. She's great in a handful of things). It's also weird that she has acted with both actors who played Hellboy. What a coinkydink! The dialogue is even worse, though ("who do I have to fuck to get off this boat?" Actual line from this movie). It's just all around disappointing, but I can't give it less than 2.5 stars just because it's still a good sci-fi story. The entire franchise is solid as a whole, with ups and downs but never falls into actually a bad film (if that makes sense). 

5. Prometheus - I am far from a Prometheus hater. In fact, I love it. My third favorite in the franchise (should I start ranking with these posts? I didn't think of that before, because I typically hate ranking things. It causes me a lot of anxiety and stress. But for kicks, this would be: Alien, Aliens, Prometheus, Covenant, Alien 3, Resurrection). I was super excited to watch this again because I've only seen it once (you can read my thoughts on it here: https://michelle-alwaysacritic.blogspot.com/2012/06/3-thoughts-on-prometheus.html - I can't believe I've been writing aimlessly on this blog for that long!). It has some flaws, for sure, but I love the overall message and the world-building. Also, I watched Prometheus, originally, without having a strong memory of the Alien franchise, but after watching them all together so closely, I think this is even stronger as an entry and sort of reboot, if you will. I feel very similarly about the film, as I originally did, so I don't want to repeat myself. But one thing that I only touched on in my initial assessment is the cast - just absolutely perfect casting. First, with Michael Fassbender as the new version of Ash (now David), but also with super believable bad-ass women - Charlize Theron & Noomi Rapace. Plus, Trey Atwood (always and forever), Idris Elba and Guy Pearce! I think it's biggest flaw is not utilizing the rest of these actors in an interesting way. That, and the pace of the film is waaaaay off. There's only one really intense scene, but on a rewatch it's actually a little laughable (the robot surgery machine scene - the way it grabs at her like it's one of those arcade games where you win stuffed animals made me giggle). So, sadly, I actually did downgrade my original 4 star rating. I still really love the idea behind it, but the flaws become more apparent on a rewatch and it was actually a bit dull to sit through. 

6. Alien: Covenant - I liked this originally. It's got a lot of the same flaws as Prometheus, but I rated it 3 stars (original thoughts here: https://michelle-alwaysacritic.blogspot.com/2017/08/thoughts-on-5-films.html), and I still think it's a solid 3 star movie. Fassbender continues this role flawlessly here - even playing two versions of the same character (it's really brilliant, and probably the biggest reason to see this movie). Everyone else is really dull, even though I like the actors. The dialogue is *cringy* ("I'll do the fingering". LOL THEY HAD TO KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT LINE). I think the pace is slightly better than Prometheus, though, and it has some genuinely intense scenes that are closer to the rest of the Alien franchise. I just think it catered a little too much to the criticism of Prometheus, instead of continuing the theories presented, they tried to answer too much and cover so-called plot-holes that didn't even exist in the first place (even going back to the Alien bit in the title feels like fan-service to me). Overall though, what a franchise! Just incredible. I look forward to the next chapter. 

Film Retrospective Part II: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-1980)

1. Cabaret (1972) - [blind spot] I've seen the Alan Cummings one (the filmed stage version) and I've seen a live production (possibly on Broadway? or maybe it was an off-Broadway? Or possibly even a local theater production? I don't really remember. I really wish I saw the Emma Stone one though. Huge regret!). I've somehow never seen this one though, so I was excited to watch it! "Maybe This Time" is one of my all-time favorite theater songs - and I listen to the Minnelli version of that and "Cabaret" regularly because she has one of my favorite voices. I also sang "Cabaret" in show choir when I was like 14, which I now realize was a bit risqué (surprised parents didn't stop this?? Times were different in the mid 90s). Anyway, Bob Fosse is a genius - just really knows the value of stage production and choreography. You can see why Liza became such an icon with this - and I love that this really showcased her talent. I know there's been a lot of talk about nepobabies recently, but it's been happening in Hollywood since the beginning of time, and it's not necessarily a bad thing! I'm not sure why the nepobabies get so offended by being called a nepobaby? Liza Minnelli is the epitome of nepobaby and nobody denies that she was extremely talented and a natural born SUPER STAR! On a sidenote - I still think Krysta Rodriguez did an incredible job portraying her in Halstead and she should have gotten crazy awards hype for it. 

2. Young and Innocent - [rewatch] A lesser-known Hitchcock, but I remember liking this one. I'm not so sure after a rewatch. It's very boring, but it does have some amusing moments (like when she's like "I'm SURE he was there" and then he goes "he was in India", and then she changes instantly "Oh, well then he wasn't there". It's a great bit of dialogue and they nail it). It's obviously outdated - complete with a scene featuring an entire band in blackface. I forgot it existed, but it's obviously uncomfortable to watch. I'm not bothered by movies made in the past that aren't up to today's politically correct standards, but this is definitely jarring. Anyway, other than that, it's a very forgettable Hitch. 

3. The African Queen - [blind spot] I love a good old action adventure romance film, so not sure why I haven't seen this - it feels like the blueprint for so many films that came after (Romancing the Stone, etc). I don't think I ever realized exactly what it was about, and I assumed it was more of a historical drama; I also thought it was one of those 3+ hour historical dramas, which is why it kept getting moved lower down the list. I was, obviously, very wrong. It's actually a perfect length for this type of film, but it also still drags in the middle so it feels longer than it is. Katherine Hepburn is incredible in this (her excitement after they go over the first rapids is so infectious!), but I also really like that this is a really different role for Humphrey Bogart (and he won an Oscar for it!). I had a lot of fun with this - they have great chemistry and their banter is entertaining and funny instead of being annoying like I find most bickering couples. 

4. Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore - [blind spot] If I didn't already know that this was a Scorsese film, I never would have guessed it. It's SO different for him - first and foremost, Scorsese rarely tells women's stories (some might use that as criticism, but to be clear, I definitely don't. I think people should tell the stories they want to tell and that they feel like they can tell well. And a lot of men don't know how to tell women's stories so they...shouldn't). That's not to say that some of his films haven't feature incredible female characters and actresses (and so many of his supporting actresses have been Oscar nominated! Jodie Foster, Lorraine Bracco, Juliette Lewis, Winona Ryder, Cate Blanchett - the list is incredible! Plus Vera Farmiga in The Departed is one of my favorite supporting actress performances ever). This story is about a single mom who leaves a dangerous situation with a man she's involved with (he's married, abusive towards her wife, and then threatens her and her child). The road trip she takes with her son to find a new home brought back memories (but actually not necessarily bad ones - I remember when my mom escaped my dad and we traveled cross-country from California to New York, we cranked the music up, and sang, and danced, and laughed a lot. "Walk Like an Egyptian" was a big hit in our car). She struggles to find work as a singer, so she becomes a waitress at....MEL'S DINER!!! I had NO IDEA that the tv series, Alice, was a spin-off of this movie!! That's insane! I only realized it when I saw Mel (and he's the same actor in the show), and I thought "wow it's weird that he starred in this as Mel who runs a diner, and then he went and did a tv show as Mel who runs a diner". And then I thought it was weirder that the title character is Alice in both...and then I googled it because those are two coincidences that are likely not coincidences! Anyway, like the show, this has fast-paced, witty, and smart dialogue and Ellen Burstyn knocks it out of the park (although I'm surprised she won the Oscar over Gina Rowlands and Faye Dunaway. What an incredible year for actresses!). Also, love the use of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" - I'm a big Whitney fan, but I adore Parton's original version of this song too. 

5. Don't Look Now - [rewatch] This is my third viewing of this film within the last decade or so, and I thought this might be the one that made me push my 4 1/2 star rating to a 5 star perfect movie rating. It's just so close to a perfect movie, but I think I just can't connect to the supernatural/religious aspect. As a psychological exploration of grief, PTSD, and how loss effects marriages, etc., I think it's incredible. It also has, perhaps, one of the greatest straight sex scenes in film history. And since this is a hot topic within the film community, I want to focus on why this is done so well. Because I think a big part of the backlash towards sex scenes in films come from a place of necessity (as in...the sex scenes aren't necessary for the story), and I think that in a lot of cases that's true! Sex and nudity became overused and thrown in for effect, and a lot of times the audience is left unsatisfied. But this is so beautifully done because of the lead up - we see them suffer a huge loss, we see them love and console each other, and we see their quiet intimacy before we see the sex. And then the sex scene is filmed entirely differently - focusing on a raw sexual intimacy, sweaty body parts, etc., yet never feels exploitative; instead it deepens their connection to each other. I just think it's really stunning, and very important to the story being told. I also want to say that even though I don't connect to supernatural stuff, I do connect to stories about intuition and find them fascinating (especially concerning parents and their children) - and they definitely touch on that feeling in the beginning when they run towards their child without even knowing something is wrong. As a related side story, my mom's perspective of me getting hit by a car is that she was in the shower and then suddenly an overwhelming sensation came over her that something was wrong with me, so she jumped out and got dressed, and ran towards the door. My uncle was living with us at the time and said "what's wrong??", and she said "It's Michelle, something happened to Michelle". He ran out the door with her, very confused, and they were confronted with a crowd of people running towards our house to tell my mom that I was just hit by a car. He was flabbergasted by it. Maybe she heard the car screech to a stop or people in the distance yelling, but neither her nor my uncle remember hearing anything. She says that she "just knew". It's kind of creepy to think about. Anyway, I love this movie a lot. Maybe one day I'll go for the 5 stars. 

6. Murder on the Orient Express (1974) - [blind spot] I've seen the remake of this, and I remember being confused by the plot but obviously already knowing the ending (since it's such a famous ending), and then I read the novel, for the first time, a few years ago and it all made much more sense to me. I didn't really have much interest in watching the 70s one until someone pointed out that it's directed by Sidney Lumet! I had no idea. I also was not expecting the accents to be just as wild as the new one. I admit that I was definitely expecting more from this. But nothing about it really stood out to me - aside from the stunning cast (Vanessa Redgrave, Ingrid Bergman, Anthony Perkins, Lauren Bacall(!!!)), although ruined by Albert Finney in the lead role (I did not like this casting at all). There's some really beautiful music in the beginning that seemed very familiar (a bit like the music from Phantom of the Opera?). But I think I actually prefer Branagh's version? It's not great, but it's extremely beautiful and filmed really well. This just fell a little flat, for me. 

7. The Sting - [blind spot] Doing this whole retrospective thing, that I started last year, now has me realizing just HOW MANY blind spots I have with classic/well-loved films. But that's exactly why I'm doing this - it's forcing me to watch something other than a constant barrage of terrible new releases. I liked this movie a lot. And I'm not surprised in the least to see that it won 7 Oscars, including Picture, Screenplay, Cinematography, and Costume Design (which is why I looked up the Oscars - I just *knew* it had to win Costume especially since it's Edith Head - who was THE costume designer from the 50s, and well into the 70s. She did a lot of Hitchcock films as well as Roman Holiday, Sunset Boulevard, Funny Face to name a few). The costumes are incredible - and I think that's hard to make stand-out with men's fashion. There's a great little gender-reversed makeover scene, which is totally unexpected for a film like this. There's a great score too (also won an Oscar). Robert Redford and Paul Newman are great (as expected), and the story moves in really surprising ways (I literally sat mouth agape when they shoot the waitress in the head!). It's fantastic and I can see how a lot of films have copied it (or, you know, have been "inspired" by it). 

8. Ocean's 11 (1960) - [blind spot] I'm so annoyed that I tried to watch this in January along with my Ocean's marathon, and I couldn't find it streaming anywhere, and then suddenly I'm searching Max's "last chance" streaming movies (movies that are leaving the service) and it's listed! What was it streaming for like a month before being removed? I'm glad I found it before it disappeared again, but that's definitely the biggest problem with streaming. It was never a problem for me until Netflix discontinued discs, because anytime I couldn't find a movie on streaming I would just add it to my Netflix disc queue and receive it in the mail within 2 days! Now I constantly have to search for things and wait for things to randomly appear. I hate it. ANYWAY. This is a rare case in which the remake is MILES better than the original. The remake is one of my all-time favorite movies (possibly in the top 20 - I've never actually made a list because it's too daunting). This just doesn't hit the same - their banter is also really dull compared to how entertaining the 2001 one is. And there is some weird editing - the NYE scene, in particular, with it cutting to each of them but the song is playing in different parts??? It makes it feel so...choppy. The highlight is Sammy Davis Jr. - what a talent. I could listen to him sing for days on end. Also, Mr. Roper is in this!! I don't think I've ever seen him in anything else aside from Three's Company (but I LOVED that show so much growing up!). Overall, though, a big disappointment. 

9. Sleeping Beauty - [rewatch] Stunningly beautiful animation - definitely among my all-time favorite animated movies. I don't think I've seen this since I was a small child, but I always adored Aurora (more so than any other of the early Disney princesses). I somehow don't remember the whole prearranged marriage part though (LOL). I'm surprised that they haven't made this into a live-action movie like all the others (instead they made one that focuses on the villain, Maleficent, which I actually enjoyed), but GUESS WHAT? Someone did make it into a live-action movie and that someone is CASPER VAN DIEN. Apparently he directed Sleeping Beauty (2014) starring his own daughter (for real! look it up!). Anyway, I think it's funny that the first aspect of her "dream man" is "tall" - it was so engrained in our brains as girls that "tall" is important when finding a male partner, which is SO WEIRD. I've also been told (as someone who is only 5ft), that I'm genetically predisposed to be attracted to tall men in order for my potential children to (theoretically) be taller. I do prefer tall guys, but when it's all said and done, it's not actually important (see my top two male celebrity crushes: James McAvoy (5'7") and Taron Egerton (who calls himself 5'10", but is listed on the internet as 5'9" HAHA!)). My husband is 6ft tall and my favorite thing to do is to tell him that he's not tall enough for me (I'M SO MEAN, but his reaction is really funny - he will literally list out statistics of average men's heights). Anyway, I'm on a tangent, but it's related because we learned so much about beauty standards from Disney movies as kids, and I think it's interesting that it's not just standards for women's appearances. 

10. The Omen (1976) - [rewatch] As I mentioned with my post on The Exorcist, I always get that, this, and Poltergeist confused. I'm not sure why (supernatural horrors based around children, released in the 70s/early 80s, I guess?). I wasn't even sure if I had seen this before because I get them so mixed up, but as soon as I started watching it, I definitely remembered it. Sadly, I didn't get the same reevaluation that I did with The Exorcist - that went from a 3 star movie in my mind to almost a masterpiece at 4.5 stars. I still liked a lot about this, though. Gregory Peck is one of the best, and I love his voice so much. It's so distinct and soothing. The story is really strong (possibly stronger than The Exorcist), but it never quite hooks me. Probably because it just feels so cliched now, with the evil devil child being a major trope in the horror genre. At least the kid is a really good actor (who apparently went to jail for assault a few years back), but I don't know - aside from one shocking scene, nothing else about it really stands out for me. Also, maybe don't name your child Damien???? 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Bob Marley: One Love - Unfortunately, this post will not be fun to write because all five of these movies really sucked. And I mean SUCKED (at least 3 of them will be on my worst of 2024 list - and Wish doesn't even count for this year). Some were expected, but some were not. I still like to watch everything, even if it's supposed to suck, because every once in a while something surprises me, and also I like to decide for myself if something is bad and I can't do that...IF I HAVEN'T WATCHED IT! I was hoping for the best with this because I really like Kingsley Ben-Adir. Plus, I saw the trailer (before The Beekeeper) and it looked incredible (the trailer is WAY better than the movie). But then my mom and her husband went to see it and said it was terrible, which is a BIG red flag because they are not picky people as far as movies go (they always tell me bad movies are good!) and my mom's husband is a HUGE Bob Marley fan. So, if a huge fan says this is bad, then I question who this film is made for? I think a few things are a big miss with this - and unfortunately, the big reason I wanted to see it, Ben-Adir, should never have been cast in the first place. While he does his best with the accent, and the songs (he sings along with Marley tracks and they combined the voices - similar to Malek singing Queen songs in Bohemian Rhapsody), this is a case in which they absolutely should have found a Jamaican actor. When a famous person is so ingrained in a culture, and it is so important to their own identity then YES, you should cast to that identity (why is Hollywood still getting this wrong?). I also think it's very clear that Kingsley is wearing a wig for the dreadlocks, and it just looks fake and very distracting. They also start the film at a weird point - just a few brief scenes before his attempted assassination. It's a major turning point in his life, and the reason that he leaves Jamaica and his music becomes an international sensation, but it's jarring to start the story there. Also, I don't know why, but I actually thought that's how Marley died?! I was confused because I thought - wait was there an attempted assassination before the one that killed him? I had NO IDEA he died of fucking SKIN CANCER?! WOW. Anyway, the story-telling and editing is just bad overall, because random scenes pop up and seem very important, but there was nothing leading us to these scenes - like the sudden outburst with his wife? They seem very happy and loving, and then *boom* they are fighting in the street. I also think that biopics tend to idolize their subject matter instead of showing their flaws and humanizing them - which is one of the reasons that I like Rocketman so much. Elton is fearless in showing that he's a gigantic narcissistic asshole and treated people around him like shit, and he had to hit rock bottom to come to this realization before he turned his life around. I would love if more biopics followed suit. 

2. Wish - I honestly don't even understand what the plot of this movie is??? They give their wish to the king and he's trying to steal them so this girl is trying to get them back? For what? What's the point in having them back? The whole concept is just stupid and confusing. I also hate this style of animation - especially since I've recently revisited older Disney movies that have STUNNING animation (especially Sleeping Beauty  - every scene looks like a painting!). This just feels flat and over-saturated with color. As much as I don't like Ariana DeBose as an actress, I won't deny that she has an incredible voice (I would much prefer she sticks to voice acting and Broadway. She probably kills on Broadway - definitely has one of those voices with power behind it. I just think she lacks a screen presence. But she has an Oscar, so what do I know!), so at least the songs sound very pretty even if they are forgettable the second the movie is over. I also think Chris Pine has a great voice for animation, even if I prefer they start going back to using actual voice actors for animated movies. The movie just feels rushed and soul-less, like it was put together by a computer. I don't think kids will necessarily notice this, but I do think it's important to make animated films tolerable for an adult audience because they'll be more willing to endure the repeated viewing that kids tend to do with their new favorite animated movie (and, more importantly, buy all the products attached to it!).

3. Spaceman (2024) - This might be the most boring movie featuring a giant talking alien spider-like creature that I've ever seen. It's actually shocking how boring it is. It's like if you took The Tree of Life, set it in space, and somehow made it even slower. I'm pretty sure the score was made to try to put people to sleep. And I think The Tree of Life is a fair comparison because it certainly attempts at something profound, but just never quite gets there. Some stunning shots, but that's just not enough to make a good movie. I've never been a big fan of Adam Sandler post Big Daddy, but I did agree with most critics that he was robbed of an Oscar nomination for Uncut Gems (still not the most egregious snub of 2020, though. AHEM). I don't dislike him, though, I just find most of his comedy one-note. He seems like a super chill guy, though. I've heard a lot of good things about people running into him in NYC and he's always super gracious and kind towards fans. I was excited for another different role for him, but the second he speaks in this I wanted to slam my head against a wall. The accent is unbearable. And googling information about the accent is WILD because the director of the film claims to hate "fake accents" so he decided against it for this film, but SANDLER IS CLEARLY ATTEMPTING A CZECH ACCENT SO WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?? Plus, the reviews are even WILDER because some point out the "inconsistency" of the accent (true!), but I read one that said that it's so subtle that they "didn't even notice it in the beginning". I'm FLABBERGASTED. Do they not know what Adam Sandler sounds like normally? Because he certainly doesn't sound like that. ANYWAY, Carey Mulligan does her sad face through the whole thing, as per. The whole film is based around him being away in space and his wife deciding to leave him. He realizes the errors of his ways or whatever, some stupid lesson on how love is the most important thing blah blah blah, and it's just all crap, in my opinion. There are very few excuses that I think are acceptable for missing the birth of your child and being in space is definitely one of them. So the whole plot is null and void, in my opinion. 

4. Drive-Away Dolls - I know this got mixed reviews (although critics were on the more positive side than general audiences), but I definitely thought I was going to like this. A lesbian buddy road trip comedy STARRING Margaret Qualley AND Geraldine Viswanathan, DIRECTED by Ethan Coen set in 1999???!!! How could I not like it?? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU: Qualley's accent, for starters, is...unwatchable. It's somehow worse than Rachel Zegler's Hunger Games accent! The "comedy" is non-existent. I guess it's supposed to be raunchy or something, but it just feels like it's trying too hard. And raunchy without comedy, just feels...embarrassing. Like, I felt embarrassed for all involved. Nothing about it feels authentic, and these definitely don't feel like real people. It also feels like it's trying so hard to be a Coen film (which is weird because it technically is). The set-up is kind of funny, and can make for a wacky, shenanigan-filled road trip comedy, so I don't know exactly why they messed this up so badly. Qualley & Viswanathan have great chemistry and comedic timing - but the characters are so off-putting and one-note. But the worst offender is Beanie Feldstein as the least believable police officer put on film. It's unbearable. I was convinced that I wouldn't see a worse movie this year, but then I watched Miller's Girl this week (Jesus Christ is it bad. How are these movies getting funding? I don't get it.). The only plus is a few surprise cameos (although I feel like we can assume that Matt Damon will pop up in every movie. He's just always there. Do your thing Matt Damon, I'm not complaining!). 

5. Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver - SOMEHOW, this movie is the better movie in this post! Still awful, but, at least there's some solid visuals and production design. This story should never have been split into 2 parts - there's just not enough story to watch more than FOUR hours of it. And somehow, even with all the time given, I still have no idea who any of these characters are - they are actually given some backstories with this, but they literally sit around a table and tell each other their "stories". The worst way to create character depth ever. I don't even really remember much about the first film and it was only released like 4 months ago (I do remember Hunnam's Northern Irish accent because it's hilarious. I actually wish he was in this one because I was completely entertained by him). I do remember it was terrible, and that it made my worst of the year list. You might wonder why I even bothered watching this one, but I truly can't help it. I'm a completist. It's who I am, and I've accepted it. I still watch Grey's Anatomy and that's on season 20 and it hasn't been good since season 10! My husband is like "you know you can just stop watching it, right?", but that's not true. I simply can't do that! Anyway, the only thing I can say about this is that it's not worse than the first one - they are about the same. The slo-mo is a little more extreme (and just stupid). Also, the flashbacks don't make sense if you make the character look older in the flashback?? Weird choice. That bowl buzz-cut is also a choice (a terrible one). I'm guessing the rebels win because they all cheer at the end, but I definitely did not watch the entire battle sequence. I gave up by that point.