Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark - I had high hopes for this - especially with Guillermo del Toro involved. I thought it was going to be more like Tales from the Crypt or Are You Afraid of the Dark? (remember that show?! So good!), with short horror anthologies told within one film, but instead it's one story about a book of horror stories. It's also really disappointing, and not scary at all. It's definitely made for a younger audience (like teenagers), but I don't think this would have interested me as a teenager. It's almost too immature for that, but too creepy and gross for anyone younger. As a teenager we had more sophisticated horror stories like I Know What You Did Last Summer and The Faculty (not to mention...Scream). I just got so bored with this. There are a few gross scenes (like the pimple scene - EWWWW), but otherwise it was all pretty dull. And obviously predictable. The cast of newcomers (I think) are all unmemorable. But I think the biggest mistake is having it set in the 70s. Something like this - geared towards teens needs to be modernized (otherwise it needs to be amazing).

2. Sonic the Hedgehog - Um...so...I thought this was actually really good. It's totally unexpected and a little embarrassing to admit, but it's super cute and I also laughed a lot. What more can I ask for? Jim Carrey is peak Jim Carrey and I didn't realize how much I missed him. And I also forgot how much of a dreamboat James Marsden is (I also just watched the first season of Dead to Me recently, and damn he is fine). Why isn't he as popular as Chris Evans? He's just as hot, but even more charming and a better actor. Also, this movie features a Speed reference (any movie with a Speed reference automatically wins my heart), and Carrey delivers the line "rub that in my orphan face" with such perfection that I laughed for like an hour afterwards. For a film about a video game with not much of a plot, I think they did a fantastic job. It's a shame that it had such negative press with their original "Sonic" design. Even with the update I think people avoided it just because of that. It's a solid family comedy, which it is rare for that type of film to also be extremely enjoyable. I was also in the mood for a dumb comedy - and this hit the spot, so that could be why I enjoyed it so much.

3. Just Mercy - Fairly straight-forward story based on a real life event about a black man sentenced to death for murder - even though there was absolutely no evidence. The story is obviously (and sadly) timely, but it's not just about the mistreatment of black people by the police, it goes further into the justice system overall, and our problematic capitol punishment sentences. It's a satisfying movie, but not very memorable. It has a bit of an A Time to Kill vibe to it, and that's a good thing, mostly, but it does feel a bit dated (plus A Time to Kill is unforgettable. I can still hear Samuel L. Jackson shouting "Yes, they deserved to die and I hope they burn in Hell!!!" vividly). I really love Michael B. Jordan - I had such a hard time with him in Black Panther (I thought he was just awful!), but I have loved him in every thing before and after. And Jamie Foxx is usually great (but again, he lost me with his performance in the new Robin Hood. What the fuck was that about?). Plus, Brie Larson (hasn't disappointed me yet!). Overall the cast is wonderful, but again, nothing about it was very memorable - and I sat watching it rather emotionless (and with this story I should be flooded with emotion).

4. The Vast of Night - Just wonderful. I went into it blind as far as the plot, but I consistently saw mostly positive things about it so I did have a certain set of expectations. And those expectations were absolutely met. I loved so much about it - the Twilight Zone vibe, the retro 1950s setting and pitch-perfect dialogue, the references to classic sci-fi movies (The War of the Worlds, Close Encounters, etc.), the suspenseful pace, and the phenomenal tracking shot that will BLOW your mind (if you're into that sort of thing - which I am. It's 4 minutes of pure bliss). It had the perfect amount of tension, while also being humorous and charming. I felt like I was watching a new episode of The Twilight Zone - it somehow felt modern, but still classic (and since I can't watch the actual new TZ episodes because I refuse to pay for another streaming service and I also hate illegally downloading things, I probably will never see it. **cries forever**). The cast is also wonderful - all newcomers from what I could tell, but their faces will live in my brain for years to come. It most definitely will make my best of the year list - but the question is WHICH YEAR? I hate when this happens - when it's clearly a 2020 release (for 99% of the audience), but because it was technically released at multiple festivals in 2019, IMDB has it listed as 2019. I think I'll include it in my 2019 list, since 2020 is a spectacular garbage fire anyway.

5. Midway - I can't believe how awful this movie is. Honestly, it's so boring, and dull, and it adds absolutely nothing new to the canon of war films. And the worst part is the main guy (I don't know his name, but he does look familiar - I feel like maybe he played a villain in a superhero movie...maybe???) does the worst accent of all time (I'm exaggerating obviously). I'm pretty sure it's supposed to be a NJ accent or maybe a Bronx accent? But whatever it is....it's incredibly distracting. Why not just get someone with the accent naturally? or someone who can act? I mean, Luke Evans sounds solidly "American" and he's not, so it's not impossible. The rest of the cast is decent - it features TWO actors from The Man in the High Castle, and both are great. And Mandy Moore! I've always been a fan of hers - it was so sad to hear that she was in an emotionally abusive relationship that caused her to leave the music and entertainment industry, but I'm so glad to have her back. She's adorable. It's just weird to have all these decent actors, but then have the main one ruin the whole damn movie. It also looks terrible - and I was not expecting that from director Roland Freakin' Emmerich. I feel like we've seen it all before, so it's pointless. Absolutely pointless.

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. The Plot Against America - I love alternate history shows (The Man in the High Castle is probably the most famous recent one, and it is wonderful). This is a little less on the sci-fi side, and just straight-up tells a story as if Charles Lindbergh beats Theodore Roosevelt during the presidential election of 1940, from the point of view of a Jewish American family. It's definitely a slow burn story, and each episode is told with a significant time gap between them, so sometimes it feels like you missed something. But overall, I thought it was done really well. And the cast is absolutely wonderful - especially Zoe Kazan (who I'm usually not a fan of) and Morgan Spector (I had to look up his name because even though he is a recognizable actor from Homeland and Boardwalk Empire, I don't think I've ever known what his name was and I was surprised at how much his name does NOT match his person at all. Also, I discovered that he's married to Rebecca Hall! What a lucky man.). I'm glad that it's left as a mini-series instead of a multi-season show. I think more shows should follow this lead. It's such a better way to tell an effective story if you know how long you have to tell it.

2. Another Life - I watched this show because it seemed like it had a Battlestar Galactica vibe, with the addition of Starbuck as the main actress (Katee Sackhoff for the win!). But it's really, really cheesy. I'm not sure how I even lasted through the whole thing. It's got some great sci-fi ideas, but for some reason they also throw in these soap opera type romance plot points that are truly hard to watch (like the threesome relationship - with the girl now being pregnant, but WHICH ONE IS THE FATHER? Lol. Who cares?I want to watch some aliens fuck shit up.). It's also really stupid - the amount of times they go into "unknown" territory without a helmet, and just touch random alien stuff, is just exhausting. There's also a character named Michelle who talks like me (sadly, I regress into my natural valley girl speak far too often. I get made fun of all the time for it, but I laugh along because I DESERVE IT), but the difference is - I'M NOT A COMMUNICATIONS EXPERT (that's her actual title. I can't.). It's been renewed for a second season, and I admit that I will watch it - mostly because I'm interested in Selma Blair's storyline.

3. Normal People - I had some issues with this show, mostly because I read about the show beforehand - so expectations were made. First, and most aggravatingly, there was this notion that this show was extremely "real", but there is nothing real about pretending that Marianne isn't attractive for the first few episodes (she suddenly becomes "hot" once they are in college, but she looks...the same). It's a disgrace, and I think it's hurtful to women to portray someone that fucking stunning as someone who isn't attractive. ANYWAY. Second, I don't understand why they changed the narrative of the book about her having an abusive father? Is it because her interest in BDSM would be that much more problematic? I feel like a whole part of her story is just completely erased. I haven't read the book, but after I watched the show I read about it, and a light went on for me - like "OH, that explains so much!". As someone who had an abusive father, I can deeply relate to her psychological issues, but I didn't even make that connection while watching it. Third, is honest communication really that hard for people? I mean, all of their problems wouldn't exist if they just...talked to each other. Aside from this, I really enjoyed this show. The acting is phenomenal - and I think they did a really good job at creating characters that felt layered and flawed, but still people that you root for. It's also beautifully made.

4. Space Force - Two separate people described this show to me as "the funniest show I've ever seen". Just think about that hyperbole for a minute, try to wrap your head around it, because it just blows my mind. And the worst part is that it's funny, but I can think of probably 100 funnier television shows (maybe even more than that...). The cast is great - but most are under-utilized (I mean, the great Jane Lynch has like 10 lines spread out through the whole season). The only actors allowed to shine are Steve Carell and John Malkovich (and he's just so great. Probably steals every scene he has with his dry humor). I think they do a good job of simultaneously making fun of the "Space Force" while also explaining its importance to the future of humanity. I hesitate to say anything positive about our president, but this may be the only thing he did that wasn't awful? I mean, I can think of more important and crucial ways to spend money right now, but exploring space is still a beautiful and inspiring thing.

5. Solar Opposites - If you're a fan of Rick and Morty then you'll probably enjoy this (I like Rick and Morty just fine, but I do think it's a bit over-praised). It's an easy show to binge - I think I watched it all within 48 hours and you don't have to do much thinking. I usually love to hear recognizable voices in animated shows/movies, but Adam Goldberg's voice is almost too distinguishable. It was distracting (and I mean the kid who plays Adam Goldberg, not actual Adam Goldberg). The plot reminds me of 3rd Rock from the Sun (remember that show?! I loved it so much. Had a super huge crush on Joseph Gordon-Levitt back in the day). There is also this weird side-story that is much more interesting than the main plot that I think (and hope) will be explored more in season two.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Goldfinch - I was told this movie was bad by someone who is a big fan of the book (I've never read it, but now I definitely want to). I was surprised at how much it bombed at the box office because of the cast and the popularity of the book (it cost 45M to make and had a worldwide gross of only 10M - yikes!). Ansel Elgort needs a career boost - STAT (with this and Billionaire Boys Club, he's in trouble- but it can be fixed - Taron did BBC and followed it up with the disastrous Robin Hood, and he's recovered quickly). I don't really think Ansel is hot, though, but he does have a screen presence that is interesting (on an epic side-note, I think it's hilarious when he trends on twitter because it's always a new picture that showcases his...um...gigantic...YOU KNOW. I also appreciate that he used this influence and posted a "thirst" picture of himself practically naked with the post "more here" that linked to a Brooklyn hospital that was in need of PPE supplies. The dude's okay in my book. Although, I hope he actually donated and not just directed his fans to do so - more on this type of celebrity influence later in the post). So, anyway, I actually liked this movie. It was far too long, it has some editing issues, and the kid from Stranger Things is tragically miscast, but it does have a lot of good stuff. Nicole Kidman is in her lane and I LOVE IT - just icy cold, entitled, and somehow still sympathetic. There's a lot of depth to the story, with interwoven plot-points, and I was invested through its entirety. It actually could have been really, really good. This is why I want to read the book - there's so many interesting ideas presented, it's just a shame that it's not done as well as it should have been done.

2. Pain and Glory - I'm really disappointed with this movie. Possibly because I had high expectations? Or because it just has nothing interesting to say? I'm not really sure, but it's just so dry and self-indulgent. Definitely my least favorite Almodovar (my favorite is The Skin I Live In). It's supposed to be an autobiographical story about an aging director looking back at his life, but it's just not at all interesting. I can connect to the chronic pain memories - the "anatomy of pain" scene is brilliant. While people have grandiose dreams of love and success, I dream of waking up without pain for just one day. ONE DAY (without drugs. I refuse.). I try not to let it effect my life, but sometimes I think about how much worse it will be as I get older and it's fucking depressing. Anyway, I enjoyed the parts with him as a child more than the rest of the movie (plus Penelope Cruz back to her strength - I had a really hard time with her performance as Donatella Versace. One of the worst performances I've ever seen.). Same for Antonio Banderas (I've only liked him in The Skin I Live In). I thought this movie would impact my updated Top 10, but sadly it doesn't come close.

3. 1917 - I had high hopes for this - there were a lot of comparisons to Dunkirk which I LOVED, some even calling it better. I can't agree with that statement at all, but I did like most of it. Obviously, it's a stunning achievement, technically speaking. I really appreciate how much work went into every single second of the movie. Sam Mendes and Roger Deakins know how to make a beautiful movie. Unfortunately though, I found most of the story boring and there were so many weird unnecessary scenes (like the baby scene - wtf was that?). Also, ***spoilers ahead*** I assumed that Dean-Charles Chapman's character was going to die - I thought that was obvious (for many reasons, story-structure, the fact that George MacKay is a more well-known actor, did most of the promotion for it, and is featured on the posters), but I guess if you don't know much about movies, it might be a surprise (I saw two different people who said it surprised them). But also, THANK GOD, he does die, because he is a terrible actor. Especially compared to the great actors he's surrounded by. And am I supposed to believe that he looks like a younger version of Richard Madden...because LOL. And, while I'm on the topic, was Richard supposed to be hiding his accent? Because he failed in just the few lines he had. I'm not complaining - he was never my type, but I binge-watched The Bodyguard for his accent alone (and also, it's really good). Also, it's weird that so many famous actors appear only to literally have 3 lines (Madden, Colin Firth, Mark Strong, Hot Priest). It felt unnecessary and distracted me from the story.

4. The Lovebirds - Cute movie. It's nothing great or anything, but it's exactly what I expected it to be. Although, this couple is my least favorite type of couple - the kind that just bicker back and forth all day long. I think it's supposed to be cute and funny, but I always find it so grating. They are both very likeable, though. I think this is the first time I've ever seen Issa Rae in anything, and she's great (Insecure is on my list!). I laughed many times - I think my favorite is the "who the fuck do you think we are, Hobbes and Shaw?" line. I also laughed at the frat boys listening to Third Eye Blind (seemed so random, but also hilarious). The plot is pretty dumb - I mean, they literally do the opposite of what they should do at every turn. But, it has a really great ending - *spoilers* the cops know from the beginning that they didn't do it, and are only after them to protect them, which is a great twist for such a cliched story. There's really not much else to say. I recommend it if you just want a fun, quick movie to watch to take your mind off of things.

5. Seberg - I watched this movie about 10 days ago - not really realizing the relevance to current events that have taken place since. If you're not aware of the story - it's about Jean Seberg, a fairly famous (white) actress from the 60s/70s whose life was destroyed by the FBI because of her open support of the Black Panthers (along with a romance with one of the members). What's fascinating is that as a Film Studies student, I was not aware of the full-story. And as any Film Studies student can attest, we watched her most famous film, Breathless, approximately 32 times in a 4 year program, so I obviously should know this story. Part of this is because I never studied acting or actors in the Film Studies program (in order to study acting, you had to want to act - which I always thought was dumb. I'm so fascinated by the profession and would have loved to study it, but almost every curriculum required actual acting as part of the course. And I would rather die than be on a stage with a crowd of people looking at me). This film is an interesting watch at this particular time for two reasons - (1.) The importance of white people supporting black movements and initiatives. I've been really struggling with how to support and truly show a commitment to ending systemic racism without it being performative. I agree with the sentiment of the White Silence is Violence anthem, but I also think that maybe it's time for white people to just shut the fuck up and listen (and support, donate, sign petitions, etc). I know so many white people who seem more actively involved than I am, but then again, I don't think posting black boxes on social media or going to a protest only to take 100 selfies to "prove" your activist status is really helping anyone. There has to be a better way, but I don't have the answer. And (2.) The importance of celebrities speaking up. Usually, I get so annoyed at celebrities taking over awards shows to talk about whatever "issue" they feel is important at the time, and right now I feel like a lot of celebrities are falling into the "performative" activist category. However, it is absolutely necessary for celebrities to get involved. Unfortunately, a lot of people are influenced by whatever their favorite celebrity does. But my biggest plea for celebrities to get involved is really for ONE reason - and that is $$$$$. The only headlines I want to see about white celebrities right now is that they are donating a significant amount of money to relevant charities (and while it's nice that they are also posting links for "normal" people to donate. They are the ones who can significantly effect change, not the person who makes minimum wage, who is also most likely on unemployment anyway due to Covid-19). So anyway, I don't know if any of that makes sense, but I couldn't write a post right now and not address what is happening - especially with the topic of this movie. As far as the actual movie goes, it's not as good as it should be. The cast is great - this should be a role that Kristen Stewart knocks out of the park (she doesn't), plus Anthony Mackie, Margaret Qualley and the scene-stealer, Jack O'Connell. The best way to describe the film is soul-less, and a story like this should feel lively, thought-provoking, and authentic. I wish they delved into her paranoia more (which wasn't actually paranoia), and the repercussions she suffered - her miscarriage is left as an afterthought. The costume design is gorgeous, though. That pink dress with the diamond collar is so stunning - sadly, I could not find a picture of Jean in a dress like this.