Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Land - I love Robin Wright and I love that so many women are stepping behind the camera! But this is...unfortunately, just really boring. It reminded me of that Reese Witherspoon movie where she goes on a long hike for self-redemption crap. This movie focuses more on grief, but it's still the same idea of forcing yourself into nature as some sort of torture. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it's actually like a more subtle version of Nomadland, but not as pretty looking. I think I would like the quietness and stillness of being out in the wild. And I love being alone. But I'm not really a survivalist - her trying to chop wood is exactly how I would look trying to chop wood. And I could never kill my own food. I would just go full vegetarian, I think. Anyway, I like the ideas of the movie but it's nothing really new and it moves really slowly. And it's certainly not memorable in any way. Just all around disappointing. 

2. 8-Bit Christmas - Super, super cute Christmas movie. It felt like a classic family-oriented feel-good movie or like a really long episode of The Goldbergs (but...not Jewish, obviously). The main kid is really adorable (he's the kid from Nightbooks! He's like a mini Patton Oswald). There's some really funny dialogue ("it's not even below zero!") and nostalgia filled moments (like him blowing into the video game). I didn't have a Nintendo, but my cousin did, and I do vividly remember enjoying playing Super Mario Bros, but also somehow video games were just never really my thing. I tried to play Mario Kart a few years ago and it's still...just not my thing. Anyway, my favorite part was the Encyclopedia prize because I knew that obviously the BIG prize was not going to be a Nintendo, so I kept racking my brain for what it was going to be - never guessing the most obvious and perfect thing....Encyclo-freakin'-pedias. Honestly, at that age I would have preferred them over a Nintendo (I was such a dork, but like a cool dork. I think? I was never really made fun of and I had friends, but I loved learning shit). Actually, the Encyclopedia bit was my second favorite part, because obviously the end is just spectacular. I almost cried. Man, I wish I had a childhood like that. 

3. The Unforgivable - *slight spoilers* I just love Sandy B so, so, so much. Honestly though, I prefer her in lighter comedy roles or fun action type films. I understand why she wanted to break free from the roles she was being relegated to, but she is so damn good at them and sometimes people are better off "staying in their lane" so to speak. I just don't think dramas are the best roles for her (but what do I know, she got an Oscar for doing drama - she's never going to get an Oscar for doing movies like Speed or The Heat). I like this story a lot. There is a lot to be said within stories of redemption, and I think this movie gets a lot of things right with how we treat ex-convicts and how terrible our prisoner release program works. And while it has nothing to do with this particular story, the problem is so much deeper particularly with women doing time for killing their abusive partners. Every case is different, and I'm not saying that prison isn't sometimes a necessary step, but what are we doing for people after they are rehabilitated (if they are rehabilitated - again, a whole other topic). I like that this story shows the ugly side of people - and just how mean and unforgiving we can be. It's also weird to see people mad that someone is basically living in poverty and working in a factory (not exactly what anyone would describe as a "good" life). She's still clearly suffering for her so-called sins. If it kept the focus on this it would probably be among my favorites of the year. But instead it gets really melodramatic with the family seeking revenge (this whole plot is also not believable at all) and the brother sleeping with the other brother's wife. It's all just so unnecessary. The ending is great, though. I should have called it, but I totally wasn't expecting it. Also, Viola Davis is INCREDIBLY under-utilized. 

4. Candyman (2021) - Well, with the mediocre reception, I was expecting mediocre, and that is exactly what I got. I had no idea that it's a sequel, though. I assumed it was a remake - I think that's how it was advertised...right? Or am I crazy? I didn't find out until I went to press play and saw it in the description. It's kind of sad because there is so much you can do with a Candyman sequel 30 years later, but instead...we get this? It's...nothing? Everything about it is just so dull, including the flat characters. It just got so boring pretty quickly (I think I was about 30 minutes in when I started to zone out...). There's also some really poorly done scenes, like the scene with the art critic and his intern - it's barely watchable. Poorly acted and poorly edited. It's also not scary at all. I wasn't exactly scared by the original either, but it definitely has some creepy shit in it. With this one, I could not tell you one single scary moment. I think it's so weird that Nia DaCosta landed a huge Marvel project (The Marvels) with so little under her belt (just this and Little Woods, which was...okay?). It's like setting someone up to fail, in my opinion. I will tell you, though, Teyonah Parris is stunning. 

5. The Voyeurs - I liked this way more than I thought I would. It's a very sexy erotic thriller, and those are hard to find nowadays. It also surprised me in a lot of ways, which is exciting because I thought I knew the story and I assumed it was going to be incredibly predictable. I really like Sydney Sweeney and she has literally the most perfect body - that perfect combination of skinny and curvy. She really holds this whole movie together because it definitely could be a terrible movie - I feel like it sits right on that weird line of being technically bad, but somehow really entertaining. Because aside from the unexpected turns and Sweeney's excellence, there are some really terrible parts. For one, the guy who plays her boyfriend (Justice Smith) is God-awful and he has one of those voices that makes my ears bleed. There's some rough dialogue (although I did like the line "I would argue that most penises aren't connected to a brain"). *spoilers ahead* And as much as I like how it ends, it's not exactly realistic in any way (I'm pretty sure tricking someone into signing a legal document is considered fraud or at least some sort of false pretense thing - and she can easily prove she was tricked). Also, when she goes to his place and acts all coy and dumb as if she doesn't know exactly what's going to happen...is weird and it feels out of character. But, it's hot. And they are hot. So I'll stop complaining about that. It's also hilarious that Ben Hardy is in this; I didn't realize it until it's almost over because he's so far away for the whole thing. And then that scene happens and I was like "OH SHIT that guy is hot...wait is that Ben Hardy?!!". And finally, none of this would have happened if people just CLOSED THEIR CURTAINS. I'll never understand this as a plot device. I always have my blinds closed or opened but angled upwards so you can't see directly in. Like a fucking normal person.  

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Foundation - I thought that this would get better as it went along - sometimes it takes a few episodes to build a new world within a science-fiction premise, but this just really doesn't get better. Even after 8 episodes (out of 10), more than enough time to find the right balance and groove, it's just so dull and, honestly, dumb. I don't even get what it's trying to do aside from being a really bad knock-off of The Expanse. It's based on an Asimov story (so technically The Expanse is a rip-off of it, I do realize this, but from a tv series perspective it's basically The Expanse but not nearly as good). The cast is a big part of the problem - I love Lee Pace, I really do. And I appreciated his villainous role in the MCU, but I like him more as a lovable pie maker (Pushing Daisies is one of the best series ever). He overdoes the villain thing here, and I just simply don't like it. The rest of the cast are mostly unknown actors (at least to me), and none of them are making any sort of impact (oh wait there is the kid from How to Get Away with Murder. He's okay, I guess). Each episode just gets more boring than the next. Then the final two episodes are MUCH better - but it just took so long to get there. 

2. The Problem with Jon Stewart - I used to love The Daily Show when Jon Stewart hosted, but honestly I find it mostly unwatchable now. Stewart had a way of being smarter than everyone in the room, but not making everyone feel like idiots...if that makes sense? I don't like being talked down to, especially when politics are concerned because it's definitely not my area of expertise, but that doesn't make me stupid, ya know? I feel like that's the problem with all these types of shows now - they thrive on feeling superior. And I think it's what is causing an even bigger divide in our country. Stewart just always came across as more level-headed, even when he was completely destroying something, so I'm happy to have him back. He's also done some incredible things for veterans and 9/11 first responders. So far, I really like what he's doing here - he's focusing on the big issues in our country, asking thoughtful questions, and promoting resources that are offering help. He's also just really, really fucking funny (I laughed so hard with his "this is what I look like now" and I practically cried with laughter when he makes fun of performative patriotism and Taylor Swift's heart hands). I haven't watched them all yet, but the gun violence episode is especially hard to watch - by focusing on the victims, which is often women (their domestic partners often being the perpetrator). The women spoke so eloquently about their situation and highlighted the fact that neither of them had been physically abused by their partners before being shot. It's frustrating that Stewart calls this an "unseen, unheard epidemic" because women have been screaming about this for decades, but it's fascinating that someone like Stewart (an often ally to women's causes) is stunned by what these women tell him. So, I guess, we just need to keep screaming? 

3. I Know What You Did Last Summer - What in the actual fuck is going on with this show, and why is it even related to one of my favorite 90s horror movies? It has nothing to do with it except sharing a title? I guess it kind of starts off the same with four teenagers hitting someone with their car, hiding the body, and then going about their lives, but it's not really told in a "horror" style. And there is NO guy with a hook for a hand, which is the ICONIC part of the original movie (that and Ryan Phillippe in a white tank top, and Jennifer Love Hewitt screaming "What do you want from me???", oh and the beginnings of one of my favorite Hollywood couples - Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. Almost 20 years and they are still going strong! I love them so much.). Instead, this has more similarities to a different SMG project - the one in which she swaps lives with her twin (sorry, I can't for the life of me remember what it's called). It's poorly acted, full of dull dialogue, and there is absolutely nothing scary about it (gore does not equal scary!). AND WORST OF ALL none of the actors are hot?! It doesn't always matter, but it absolutely matters in movies like this - and...I guess that's all I'll say because if I go further I fear it will be a bit mean-spirited. 

4. Yellowjackets - I've only seen the first two episodes, so far, but it is really fucking good and I'm going to try and watch it slowly so I can savor it. It's like Lost and "The Lord of the Flies", set in the 90s and present day. There's a mystery building within, and it's super creepy with a hint of sci-fi elements. It's fascinating that a show starring Juliette Lewis, Christina Ricci and Melanie Lynskey is fairly under the radar, while other shows get endlessly discussed (ahem...Succession). The young cast is really great too - the one girl is from Army of the Dead and I remarked then about how she reminded me of Marion Cotillard, and it's even more so here. I don't have a whole lot to say yet, but I think this series might end up as one of my favorites. 

5. Hawkeye -  I can't decide if I like this yet (I haven't finished it - I think I have two episodes left? It's a pretty short series, right?). From all of the Marvel television projects recently (WandaVision, Loki, The Falcon and the Winter Soldier), this one feels the most Marvel-y. It's very predictable, the dialogue is cheesy, but it's very watchable, fun and entertaining. Hawkeye is probably my favorite of the original Avengers (is that controversial?? I feel like I've never seen anyone else say that), but part of that is because I've always really liked Jeremy Renner. I also really like Hailee Steinfeld in Dickinson (not so much in any other project), and she's ok here - I feel like she does her best with the awful dialogue that she's given so any cringey parts aren't necessarily her fault. I think I will always have a problem when a 100lb tiny woman takes down dozens of men unless they have a super power (sure she's trained in martial arts, but...still...as Hawkeye says "she's like 9"). Some other thoughts I have: Rogers: The Musical might be the funniest thing Marvel's ever done. Vera Farmiga is always The Best. And...I'm pretty good at avoiding spoilers for most things, but I think everything Marvel has done has been...predictable. I mean, they are less than subtle, when it comes to how everything is connected. And with all the talk of a multi-verse in the new Spider-Man (I have not seen it, but I know what's in it without being told...because...again...predictable). So as soon as they showed The Hint, I knew it was Kingpin (he either shows up in this or Spider-Man). I also knew that meant that Daredevil would be back (most likely in Spider-Man). I am happy about that - even though the final season of Daredevil was a dud, I still really liked it as a whole. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings - I liked this movie - it's a solid 3 star film, but it's absolutely insane to me that on Letterboxd over 36k users rate this movie 5 stars. INSANE. I like Letterboxd a lot (I've had it for years, but I only just started regularly using it this year) - I appreciate that I can see film fans review something and actual critics. But I am genuinely concerned for the future of movies if this is considered a "perfect" film. Anyway...as I said, I liked this! I didn't really have much interest nor did I really have any knowledge of the character, but I think it's a welcomed addition to the Marvel movies and I'm excited to see how this will play into the future of these movies. The cast is excellent - Simu Liu has a TON of charisma, Michelle Yeoh is a legend, and I think it's hilarious that they brought back Ben Kingsley. However, I cringed when I saw Awkwafina, though, and horrified once I realized she was going to be a huge part of the movie. She's fine in this - almost a little muted from her normal screechiness (sorry, her voice bothers me). The action sequences and the fight scenes are stellar as expected, especially the fight scene on the bus (just executed to perfection). Like most Marvel movies, it's a tad too long, the dialogue is iffy in parts, and it's all very expected. I do like the idea that "if you aim at nothing, you'll hit nothing" - that's actually a little motivating and a great life lesson. 

2. King Richard - Another solidly flat 3 star movie. There's definitely something interesting about it - I find it funny how "the internet" (and even people who are usually more level-headed on my twitter feed) commented how "problematic" it is to do a movie about the father of two of the greatest athletes of all time, instead of doing a movie about them (arguing sexism, I guess?), but Venus and Serena are PRODUCERS on the movie and are fully supportive of the story being told, as they say "there would be no Venus and Serena without Richard". It's part of this whole mob mentality to automatically get offended by something because one person calls it out as "problematic" (just like when everyone questioned why a white woman, Rebecca Hall, was directing Passing, only to find out that her grandfather is black and can "pass", and therefore it's an interesting and personal topic for her). I think it's actually a really interesting way to tell a biopic - by highlighting an important figure behind an even more well-known important figure. Unfortunately, Will Smith's accent is horrendous (and they make a huge mistake by showing the real Richard talking at the end, so the audience can see just how awful this performance is. And yet, it's getting awards talk. Mind-blowing, you guys). It's also really boring when it gets to the tennis playing part (sorry, it's just such a boring sport. And I watch BASEBALL). There's also this really dramatic music and drawn out matches that are probably supposed to invoke emotion, but...why would I get emotional?? - I know how her life turns out. But, like I said, it's...an easy watch. Nothing really exciting about it, but it's a well-made movie with an interesting story. I literally know nothing about the Williams sisters. I do remember Venus being really, really popular among my peers when I was in high school. I think a lot of people seem to question Richard's motives (as if he was trying to steal the spotlight), but I think it's great that he insisted on keeping his daughters' focus on having fun and being kids. He genuinely seems to care about their well-being and I think that is rare when it comes to parents of famous children (I just read a Natalie Wood biopic this year, and let me tell you, her mother belongs in a fucking prison). 

3. Pig - I've said this before, but I'm definitely not a part of the cult of Nicolas Cage. I've liked him in many things (mostly older things like Face/Off), but his fans have this weird habit of praising everything he does - even the cheesiest c-rate garbage. I was hesitant about this, but I actually really liked it. I don't think it's, like, an award-worthy performance, as some are proclaiming. But it's solid work from Cage. And a great story - a bit like a subdued version of John Wick. I remember really wanting a pig for a pet (back in the day when George Clooney famously had a pet pig and I thought he was super cool). They are supposed to make great pets, and this sort of cements this by how deep this man loves this pig. There's some great stuff in this - particularly the contrast and reality between how the "farm to table" is often enjoyed by the super wealthy. Also, the scene where he confronts the chef in the pretentious restaurant is *chef's kiss* (pun intended). I didn't recognize Alex Wolff, because this is kind of a different role for him, at least from what I've seen. I like the relationship that evolves between him and Cage. And while the ending is obvious from the second that poor pig is kidnapped, it still hits like a gut-punch. It's currently one of my favorites of the year (but I still have SO much to see...). 

4. The Humans - I think the intent behind this movie is usually something that I enjoy - very "slice of life" storytelling, attention to details, very thoughtful camerawork, with an overall sense of dread, but overall nothing about it felt authentic or engaging at all, so to sum it up - it just doesn't work. I used to like Beanie Feldstein a whole lot, but her performance in ACS: Impeachment is atrocious, so now I actually hate her (she does sort of look like Monica Lewinsky, but it was a hard to watch series on many levels). I feel like she has to win me back after that, and unfortunately this does not do it. And why would anyone cast Feldstein and Amy Schumer as sisters?? They don't look, act, or talk alike at all. The apartment that is the setting for the entire movie is absolutely gorgeous for New York City, so it's weird that I think it's supposed to be seen as creepy and decrepit. I don't need to look at water-damaged walls and ceilings for that long - the repetitiveness is definitely a problem (also I had a water-damaged wall in my apartment in Philly and when it rained there was basically a waterfall in my apartment, but I was about two months behind on my rent at all times and my landlord never complained, so I felt it was a fair trade). Anyway, I think I'm mostly disappointed because this should be a movie that I like and it's...so flat. 

5. The Power of the Dog - Unfortunately, this just isn't my thing. I watched for Kirsten Dunst and the return of Jane Campion (I didn't realize that she was a writer/director for Top of the Lake? And now I also can't remember if I ever finished that series? It was one of those things that took ages for each series to be available in America so I might have given up?). I did NOT watch this for Benedict Cumberbatch (although, he was decent in this, and even got the accent right). It's definitely a well-made movie. Obviously there are some stunning shots and it's all very...fine. It's just not very interesting. 45 minutes in and I couldn't even tell you the plot of the movie - it's just so boring. It starts to get a little interesting towards the end, but it's basically a mix of Brokeback Mountain and Call Me By Your Name (both movies I didn't really like, but are also well-made movies). Kodi Smit-McPhee really grew up super awkward, huh? He actually looks like Benedict and could easily play his son (which is why the tension between them is awkward, in my opinion). Kirsten Dunst is great, but looks old. I mean, not OLD old, because she's 39, but it's just hard to see actresses you've watched for decades suddenly look older than they should (and I do think she looks much older than me and she's actually a year younger, but that could just be my wishful thinking. Also, I KNOW it's incredibly sexist and ageist to even bring it up, but also...it's honestly what I was thinking when I watched this, and this blog is my thoughts....so...sorry? I guess.). Jesse Plemmons is also great, but him and Benedict as BROTHERS?? What is up with casting siblings lately? I don't like Thomasin McKenzie (I know I'm a minority in that), but she has...maybe one line of dialogue?? She's miles down the cast list, too, which is super awkward with how popular she has become over the last few years (but, you know, if you're given a role in a Campion movie you take it - no matter how much of a step backwards it is in your career). Also, the score is really overwhelming and a huge distraction. I did really, really, really love the ambiguous ending (although I think the intent is very clear). It almost made me like the movie - I just wish I liked anything about the preceding two hours before it.

Holiday Movie Preview: 11 Films I'm Excited About

1. West Side Story - There are a lot of reasons to not be excited about this (for one, what's the point?), but also...it's Spielberg. And it's one of the greatest musicals of all-time. So...I'm hesitantly excited and we'll just leave it at that for now. (Also: reviews have been fairly good so far...so...maybe it is????)

2. Spider-Man: No Way Home - The hype for this is extensive, and ultimately I'm very nervous for a huge letdown, but the trailer is pretty exciting. I've liked the first two (they are adorable! Holland is adorable!). But I'm also a HUGE fan of the Maguire Spider-Man era so I think it's super cool that they are doing the whole multi-verse by using the previous films. I do think that both Maguire and Garfield make an appearance in this, and it sucks that it's so speculated because it would have been a mind-blowing surprise. But it's impossible to keeps something like that under the radar nowadays. 

3. Parallel Mothers - It's Almodovar, and I've loved every film of his that I've seen - I think the one I like the least is the most recent one, Pain and Glory, but even that is still a good film. Plus, Penelope Cruz is always at her best in Almodovar movies. 

4. Sing 2 - I think it's pretty obvious why I am excited about this movie. It's for one reason, and ONE reason only: Taron Egerton SINGING. I love his voice so much - it's so soothing and warm. I wish he would take some time off from acting and record an album. Or even better, do more musicals like Rocketman. I watched the first Sing because I got trapped in a Youtube hole for hours watching interviews of Egerton singing. His version of "I'm Still Standing" from the original is THE BEST (I actually prefer it to the Rocketman version - but I love both. How weird is it that he has two completely different covers of the same song for two different movies??). The actual movie is kind of cute. I didn't think it would be something I would remember, but I (embarrassingly) have watched this multiple times just to hear Egerton's voice, so I remember it all. The sequel looks like more of the same, but honestly I'll be super excited when the soundtrack drops so I can listen to Taron's version of "There's Nothing Holding Me Back" on repeat. 

5. Don't Look Up - Okay, I fully admit that this looks like a total disaster, but I've liked Adam McKay's films (especially The Big Short, which seems to be very uncool nowadays among film twitter, but I still love it). And that cast is just incredible - especially with Leo and Meryl in a movie together again. But as I said, especially after watching the horrendous clip released a few months ago, this does look like a total disaster. Jus smug, poorly acted and unfunny. But, I guess we'll see!

6. The Unforgivable - Sandra Bullock is back!!! I love her so much! I hate when she disappears for years at a time, but I totally respect that she tries to live a normal life in-between movies. I watched the trailer and it totally seems like a Lifetime movie but I don't even care. I can't wait. 

7. Nightmare Alley - I don't know much about this, but it's Bradley Cooper, Cate Blanchett, and Toni Collette (i.e three of my favorite actors) in a Guillermo del Toro film. Although, I've been a little disappointed by his recent films (Crimson Peak, The Shape of Water), I'm still hopeful. 

8. The King's Man - Honestly, I think Kingsman: The Secret Service is my most rewatched movie of the last decade. It's getting to the point where I can recite every line. It's genuinely entertaining, but obviously I watch it for Taron. I have watched The Golden Circle multiple times as well - but at least I can admit that it's not a good movie (parts of it are: the cast, the action sequences, Taron, etc., but structurally it's in deep need of some editing and the plot is mind-boggling). I have so much love for this franchise, though, so even though this prequel is obviously missing a huge part of my key enjoyment (TARON! And LOL at people who are genuinely mad that him and Colin aren't in this...it's A PREQUEL...how could they be in it?? I swear, I'm surrounded by idiots on the internet), I'm still invested in the mythology of it all. I also think it's kind of funny that Aaron Taylor-Johnson is in this one (he turned down the role of Eggsy - thank God!). 

9. The Lost Daughter - Olivia Colman is in my Top 10 best (living) actresses list (I don't actually have a list but if I had to list it out without putting too much thought into it, it would look like this: Cate Blanchett, Naomi Watts, Colman, Jessica Chastain, Viola Davis, Saoirse Ronan, Meryl Streep, Octavia Spencer, Emma Stone & Toni Colette. Note: this is not a list of my favorite actresses because that would include Sandy B and Margot Robbie). Colman is just incredible, so I'll watch anything with her in it, but I'm also excited for Maggie Gyllenhaal's (another terrific actress!) directorial debut. I watched the trailer and it looks a little unsettling, which is always a welcome feeling for me. 

10. The Tender Bar - I've not been the biggest fan of George Clooney's directorial efforts (I feel like he tries to copy the Coen Brothers too much and his films have been largely boring), but I think I might connect with this film a little (hopefully!). I spent a little bit of my childhood in a bar, as my grandfather owned a fairly well-known Irish pub in the town I grew up in. I have fond (and not so fond) memories of it. Also Ben Affleck is great in small dramas like this. 

11. The Tragedy of Macbeth - I think this was kind of a surprise to most film fans - I remember when the trailer was released and everyone was like - wait what is this? where did it come from? why hasn't it been reported about? It seems like Joel Coen quietly made this HUGELY famous story with HUGE stars - Denzel Washington and Francis McDormand. I've seen some mixed reactions to it, but based on everything I've seen - I think I'm going to love it??? *crosses fingers*

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Jungle Cruise - I'm not really familiar with the Disney ride (never really been a Disney fan, to be honest - I was much more into Universal Studios and Knott's Berry Farm when I was a kid), but I was hoping for a fun family adventure movie, similar to the reboot of Jumanji (also starring The Rock), but this fell a little flat for me. It's just...okay. And that would be fine if I didn't set my expectations as high as I did. Most reviews called it fun and action-packed, but it definitely drags a lot - a 90 minute version would have been so much better. There is still a lot to like, though. I am all about The Rock doing family adventure movies - this is definitely where he shines. Emily Blunt is delightful (and probably too good for this movie?). And Jesse Plemons as the "bad guy" is absolute perfection. I do not know who Jack Whitehall is, but I looked him up and apparently he is pretty popular in the UK. He is probably the weakest link for me (which is odd because the opposite seems to be true for most reviews that I read). The cast as a whole work really well together, but there's just something so bland about it. Overall, it's just kind of a drag to sit through which is very disappointing. 

2. Red Notice - Probably too many movies starring The Rock out there, but it doesn't seem like he's going away anytime soon, so we just have to go with it at this point. The three leads are likeable enough - I've liked The Rock before, but not always. Same for Ryan Reynolds (I *still* don't understand how he got SO famous SO quickly for just having nice abs). I was more curious about Gal Gadot because I've never seen her in anything outside of Wonder Woman (except whichever Fast & Furious movie she was in that I don't remember at all). Sad to say that she was as dull as watching paint dry. I thought watching this a little tipsy would help, but it's still really boring. And it moves at a snails pace. There really isn't even anything memorable about it either. Reynolds spouts a few mildly amusing one-liners ("does the back of your head look like a huge penis?"), but ultimately it feels like a computer-generated action movie. It just pulls all these clichés together into one movie and unfolds it all as if it's going to surprise the audience. I heard about the Ed Sheeran cameo beforehand (from Netflix's twitter - because apparently they thought that would actually entice more people to watch it? I know he has a fan base - i.e my mother, who describes him as having "the voice of an angel", but I still have no idea who he is or what he sings or why he pops up in movies randomly. But then they played his song and I thought "oooooh that's what he sings??? I actually like that song, my bad" haha!), it was unnecessarily terrible. The most intriguing part of the whole movie is the line "Vin Diesel's audition for Cats...it exists!". WHAT?! Is that real or are they just a dig at Vin?? I need to know! I think it's hilarious that Netflix is pretending like this is their most watched movie...ever. Obviously, it's not, but I'm sure they spent enough money of the leads so they needed that to be true. It's also hilarious that there will most definitely be a sequel. Humanity is doomed. 

3. tick, tick...BOOM! - So, I have a lot of feelings about this movie. Overall, I will say that I liked it very much. But it is for a very specific audience and - I say this in the nicest way possible - but a lot of that "specific audience" is insufferable. Broadway musical geeks / theater nerds to be specific. Technically, I am one of them (Drama Studies major in college, but I was very much an outsider). However, I can tell you from experience that if you aren't a complete narcissist (think Lady Bird), you will be excluded from the club. I think the same thing is happening with film enthusiasts too, but I can't speak from experience as much on that one (I did double major in Drama & Film Studies, but the Film program was new so it wasn't extensive enough to have the true film "experts" in the program). The film works SO WELL for me, because I see so many theater geeks connecting to it saying "this is me!" without even realizing how self-involved and completely frantic it is. It captures not only the essence of Jonathan Larson brilliantly; it also captures a moment in time so...specifically. Rent was the Broadway musical of my generation - I think I saw it at least 5 times in the first few years it came out, and then again not that long ago (I think it was for the 20 year anniversary, maybe?). It's interesting to see Larson's process and what ultimately led him to creating one of the best musicals of all-time. But I do wonder if his feeling of running out of time was pressure from the industry or an actual premonition? And if he knew that it was happening wouldn't he want to spend it with loved ones instead of focusing all his energy on writing? Or is that the point - that he wanted to live on through his work? This obsessive need to leave something permanent in the world; to be remembered - it's all very fascinating to think about (if you're not familiar - Larson died suddenly on the opening night of Rent at the tragically young age of 35). Andrew Garfield is wonderful as Larson - and I had no idea he could sing! I do think that the film, itself, feels a little amateur and not very creative. It's clear that Lin-Manuel Miranda has a personal connection to this story, but it is missing the spark (or BOOM!, if you will). The "Sunday" scene is just spectacular, though. I plan on watching the scene again soon, because it was just so exciting to see these legendary Broadway stars - I feel like I missed some things. I wish the whole film were like this, though. Still definitely one of the best films I've seen this year, which is a lovely surprise. 

4. The Virtuoso - *major spoilers* The biggest mistake this movie makes is relying on a twist that is extremely easy to figure out very early on. It makes the whole film feel sort of pointless. I like Anson Mount a lot, and am sad that he never hit it big (yet!). And I like Abbie Cornish too (now, but I used to hate her). They are both good, but don't really have the chemistry necessary to hold the movie together. Another mistake is the narration - it's a big miss. It's very dry, monotonous and just very flat. It makes it very hard to follow the plot - it's basically just him screaming "white rivers" at everyone (literally). And the most frustrating mistake is that God-awful, embarrassing sex scene. Why must all straight sex scenes be so fucking cringey all the time?? But back to the "twist" because it's actually...really good if it wasn't so obvious. And the reveal of it is really strong - with the replay of a prior scene - showing how it was all pulled off. But here is why I knew it immediately: he says he's staying "at the motel" but never gives his room number and then she just shows up at his room. And he looks and acts like a serial killer, so no woman in their right mind would just go to this strange man's motel room...unless...she's ALSO AN ASSASSIN (dun dun dun!!!). It's just so in-your-face, that it's annoying that the audience has to wait so long for him to figure it out. I like the idea of it being more of an anthology, though. I am actually interested in watching the next "virtuoso" story, but it's a shame that will never happen. 

5. Queenpins - I really, really like Paul Walter Hauser and he's been promoting this movie like crazy, otherwise I probably never would have heard of it. It's...cute, I guess. It's also kind of cheesy (but not quite good enough to be camp). I'm not the biggest fan of Kristen Bell (I liked her in The Good Place, but it wasn't exactly a hard role for her to play); I just find her kind of annoying. BUT I was so excited to see Joel McHale in this (I really, really miss The Soup, you guys). He's definitely not in this enough. The highlights are Hauser - he was literally every LP agent I've ever come across (and I've been in retail for 20 years so I know a LOT of LP agents), and Kirby Howell-Baptiste. I think I laughed the most at her lines, but also that little dance she does in her driveway is adorable. Extreme couponing is actually a hilarious concept - but it just gets a little repetitive. It's fascinating that this is based on a real story (I looked it up - these ladies counterfeited 25 MILLION in coupons. Jesus Christ!). It's also only a 90 minute concept, so there's about 20 minutes of filler (which is why it feels repetitive). I will say that I laughed really hard at two parts - the first is when the cashier is describing Bell and says "she's like 3ft tall" (she is very tiny!), and when they are in the armored vehicle loaded with all the gear to "take down" the criminals and the one guy asks what they were dealing with - "it's two women counterfeiting coupons". The look on his face is just priceless. I would recommend it if you're in the mood for something light and amusing.