Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Marriage Story - Very good movie, but some people are just getting a little carried away with the hyperbole. It's exactly like every other Baumbach movie - strong dialogue, slow but evenly paced, well-acted, while also being elitist, narcissistic, and self-congratulatory. It's not something I would ever want to watch again - as with all of Baumbach's movies (my favorite is probably still The Squid and the Whale), but it does currently sit at #5 on my Top 10 list for this year. I do prefer Scarlett Johansson in movies like this (she was always at her best in her collaboration with Woody Allen, and this is very similar). And I don't always like Adam Driver, but he's also very good here. Neither are ground-breaking performances, though, which is what people are acting like. People are also acting like we've never seen married people hate each other on screen before. This is not new territory, people. And, as per usual, I agree with the male perspective. You can't just take your kid across the country, you stupid fucking manipulative bitch (basically what I said in my head for the entire movie). Also, the movie should be called Divorce Story, right? What a misleading title. And my last thought on this movie - if Driver gets an Oscar nomination over Taron Egerton, I will burn this place to the ground.

2. The King - Nope, still don't get why Timothee Chalamet is a thing. He is not a good actor and he looks like he's 12. I was so absolutely bored for the entirety of this movie because there was no strong screen presence. I expected more from Robert Pattinson - but his French accent was actually just really hilarious. The whole movie is just plain dull and usually I like stuff like this, even when it is boring (Shakespeare junkie! Although, Henry V is among my least favorite, but it's been a while since I've read it). The movie is also really colorless, which was obviously a stylistic choice the creators made, but it intensified the dullness. At least give me something beautiful to look at! And back to Timothee, I really just don't understand? Like, actual adult women (and men) think he's hot? It makes me really uncomfortable. I'm not trying to be insulting because I often get told I look much younger than I do, and I've finally hit the age where people think I'm in my 20s instead of a teenager (I'm LATE 30s, people), but for most of my life people always thought I was super young. I always got really weirded out when men would tell me I looked like I was a teenager and then HIT ON ME or make jokes about if I'm "legal" (UGH...men are the worst). It's not his fault that he looks like a baby, but I think it's weird that people describe him as "hot".

3. American Woman - THIS is the role I've been waiting for Sienna Miller to take on. She's such a wonderful actress and she just keeps getting sidelined to these shit "wife" roles and it's so frustrating. She's stunning in this - probably my favorite female performance of the year (and yet, I've heard no-one talking about it. How sad.). First, I always forget that Miller is British because she's done so many American roles and her accent is perfect. Second, this is such a hard role to play - it's ugly, selfish, filled to the brim with faults, but the audience still has to sympathize with her otherwise it just won't work. Sienna made me care about her. And last, the story is really interesting - the main plot, which is that her teenage daughter goes missing suddenly, leaving her to care for her baby, is pushed to the side but is still somehow focal in every moment. You spend the film wondering if her daughter left out of selfishness - maybe she's somewhere close enough to still be watching, or was she murdered or kidnapped and still alive? It's weird to have that thought as you watch the rest of the world continue because life moves on so quickly. I'm glad they gave us closure - as the film was ending, I was a little resistant of this closure because I thought it would feel too clean, but they did it really well. And ultimately our main character needs this closure as part of her journey. There's also a great supporting cast featuring Aaron Paul and Christina Hendricks.

4. Paddington 2 - The first Paddington was super, sugary sweet and this is more of the same. Except also really devastating - I mean, watching Paddington go to prison is a hard sell for this type of movie. I just wanted to reach through the TV and give him a big bear hug. These movies are super cute kids movies, so it's a weird plot to have for this genre. Other than that, it's got some great visuals, Hugh Grant is super extra and I love it, and I laughed more than a few times. You have to be in a specific mood to watch it - like a mood for something that's entertaining and mind-numbing. It's hard to really write anything else about this movie, because it's just exactly what you expect. Super cute, family movie about a big cuddly bear getting into trouble.

5. Good Boys - Oh my God, I laughed so hard, you guys. Hands down the funniest movie I've seen this year. There were points where I was crying laughing (which I often cry when I laugh - everyone makes fun of me for it). It has the perfect combination of being raunchy but sweet. The kids have really great chemistry together, which I think really helped the film as a whole. I smiled from beginning to end (and man, that ending is hilarious - I will never be able to think of Rock of Ages again, without thinking of these kids). I know for a fact that I will watch this movie multiple times over the next few years (as I've watched its predecessor, Superbad at least 100 times - guaranteed to make my cry-laugh during every viewing. Now is a good time to mention, if you didn't like Superbad then you will probably not like this. And also, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ). I would love to list out all of the funny moments so that I can relive them, but there are just too many! The ending and the scene with Stephen Merchant were probably my favorite though.

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. X-Men: Dark Phoenix - Wow. It's hard to believe how terrible this movie is, really. First, I had no idea that this was a full-on X-Men movie. I thought it was more of a spin-off and that a few of the X-Men characters would obviously appear. But some pretty important things happen for the X-Men universe - including a main character's death (and may I say, good-fuckin'-riddance!). I understand that everyone featured are all contractually obligated to appear in these movies, but why the fuck did Jessica Chastain sign on for this trash? It was a huge heartbreak to see her and James McAvoy together (big fan of The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby...), but it was even more heartbreaking to watch actual good actors try to make this movie watchable. It's not. Sophie Turner was a big casting mistake. She's not a good actress, and it's way too early in her career for her to carry a big franchise film like this. She was tolerable on Game of Thrones because the cast is so massive, and honestly, most of the actors on that show were terrible, with the exception of Lena Headey and Peter Dinklage. She just looks bored for most of this movie. Also, her eye makeup is so distracting. It's crazy that there are actual critics that didn't list this in their "worst of the year" lists but did include movies like Rocketman and "the last half hour of Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood" (LOL WTF...how does this person have a job?). Speaking of...

2. Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood - For a Tarantino movie with DiCaprio, Pitt and Margot Robbie, my expectations were impossibly high, and unfortunately they weren't quite met. However, I did like this movie - just not to the degree that I wanted to. It probably lies somewhere in the middle of my Tarantino ranking. Without thinking too hard - my list looks like this (Best to Worst): Reservoir Dogs, Django Unchained, Inglourious Basterds, Once Upon a Time..., Jackie Brown, Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill Vol 1, Kill Bill Vol 2, The Hateful Eight. There are few things happening in this movie that I would describe as "masterful", but overall, I think it becomes a little self-indulgent (EDITING IS IMPORTANT PEOPLE!). I also think that if it didn't have the ending that it has, then I probably would have ranked it towards the bottom. I don't think I've ever been this caught off guard by an ending of a film in my entire life (ok, maybe the last few seconds of Enemy). In retrospect, it does give the ending away in the title, but you don't really realize that until it's over. I was actually bracing myself for a more typical, massively violent, brutal ending (which we ultimately did get, while also defying expectations in every way possible). I mean, I almost feel like it should come with a reverse trigger warning (as in, don't worry, you won't see a pregnant woman brutally murdered), because maybe people who are avoiding it because of this, might actually watch it. Although, I'm glad that I avoided all of the discourse surrounding it, because as soon as I saw all of the "Quentin is a misogynist" headlines, I had to avoid it all so my head didn't explode (and FYI just because a film only has minor female characters with little dialogue doesn't mean its misogynistic, fucking asshats). The movie isn't about Sharon Tate, just like it's not about Charles Manson. It's about a fictional actor, Rick Dalton, and his stunt double, Cliff Booth. And let me tell you, Leo and Brad are a revelation together. I would love to say a career best, but that's so hard to gauge because they are almost always incredible. Leo will always be a favorite of mine (I was a die-hard Titanic fan girl - posters on my wall and everything), and he just keeps getting better and better.

3. King Arthur: Legend of the Sword - Similar to the Robin Hood remake that came out last year, an "updated", "cooler", take on a classic story. And just like the Robin Hood remake, there are two very hot guys (Jude Law and Charlie Hunnam - not quite as hot as Taron Egerton and the guy from The Fall, though). First, I'm super confused by the non-existent age difference? Like, how is Jude Law there when Arthur is a baby and then 20 years later he still looks the same while Arthur is an adult? They are only like 8 years apart in real life (I'm totally guessing, but I think Hunnam is my age and Jude Law is mid-40s). I was so confused by the time jump because of this. Anyway, I've always been a big fan of Guy Ritchie. Snatch is still one of my favorite movies of all-time. I wish he would go back to making original content though. The Sherlock movies were mostly mind-numbing, and this movie felt very similar. Oh also, Eric Bana is in this! He's hot, too. And on a side-note, a few months ago I took a few of my employees out for lunch at our local diner and Eric Bana was there. I told my employees they were not allowed to engage with him and they are still mad at me for it (dude was just trying to eat lunch!). He looked good in real life; not my type, but a very handsome man. I don't really have much else to say about this movie. Seems like a big waste of time for everyone involved (and a huge waste of money!).

4. Midsommar - I read the hype, but I didn't believe the hype. I enjoyed Hereditary, but the ending really ruined the film as a whole (still that scene will go down in the History books). I'm glad that I held back expectations, because overall I enjoyed this. The beginning is really strong, and heartbreaking, and that primal scream that Florence Pugh belts out is gut-wrenching. I think I have certain problems with the story - because I think we are supposed to root for her? And believe that her boyfriend is an asshole? At least, that's what film critics think. I don't think he's an amazing guy or anything, and clearly doesn't have a high level of maturity, but she seems incredibly clingy right from the beginning. And if your boyfriend isn't giving you the support you need, then break up with him? Instead she forces herself in the middle of him and his friends, and tags along on their vacation that she is clearly not wanted at, and then sulks because her boyfriend isn't who she wants him to be. Sorry, but that's on her. Also, where is the rest of her support system - like, her own family/friends? Why is she putting so much pressure on him as her "only" support? Anyway, if I ignore the problematic plot, it's enjoyable. There are some really stunningly disturbing moments (I screamed when that scene happened). The ending is really OTT, similar to Hereditary, but it worked for me here because the whole thing seemed a little ridiculous, and you could tell that it was preparing for bat-shit crazy territory early on in the film.

5. The Irishman - Nope, sorry guys, this movie just isn't for me. I have to side with the naysayers, on this one - it's waaaaay too long and wayyyyy too boring. There's obviously moments of brilliance, and phenomenal acting as expected, but it was hard for me to enjoy what I was watching when all I wanted to do was go to sleep. Nothing about it is really original or new - just kind of an extended universe of the typical mobster movie (just slower, and more character-driven). In a way, I appreciate the way they subvert expectations for this type of movie, and de-glorify the aspects of being a gangster. It's also interesting to read about the real history behind it. It's based on a perspective about the disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa that apparently has been debunked? So, it's not actually true? But nobody really knows. And again, the discourse around the female character is fucking grating. The movie ISN'T ABOUT HER, it's about his version of how he thinks his daughter sees him. Also, why would anyone want to give Anna Paquin more lines? She struggles with dialogue. so the least amount of words that come out of her mouth, the better (sorry, not sorry). Ultimately, this movie is a well-made movie - and currently in my Top 10, but it's also just really fucking dull. The only other thing I have to say is that the de-aging thing is such a nightmare for film-making and it needs to end now.

Thoughts on 5* New TV Shows

1. Unbelievable - An absolutely heartbreaking story, with phenomenal performances from all three women - Merritt Wever, Toni Collette, and Kaitlyn Dever. The biggest success, I think, is that it's a story that is really handled with a deep care for women, and the experience of being raped. It's such a tough thing to get right. I am a certified Rape Crisis Counselor (although I'm pretty sure my certification has expired by now...), and the emotional stress of attaining the certification was so draining. To hear what women have to go through after they just experienced a violation to their body is just...indescribably heartbreaking. Not only do they have to relive the experience in order to describe it to the authorities (over and over again, especially if it ends up in court - and that's a big if), but then they have to experience another violation via rape kit at the hospital. I completely understand and sympathize with any woman who just gives up. Also, trauma fucks with your mind, and your memories - you begin to question what is real and what you might remember incorrectly. The first episode of this limited series is just so hard to watch because it's understandable why the police question her, and why they start to think she might be lying. The contrast to how the female detectives handle rape cases is really fascinating and I wonder if that's the answer? As much as I like to "equate" the sexes, there are fundamental differences between men and women - and sometimes that needs to be recognized and used to our advantage...you know? Anyway, this show is incredible. The end.

2. Batwoman - Just fucking kill me. I mean, this shit is just terrible and now I'm stuck watching another fucking dumb CW show. The biggest issue that I have is that, at the very least, all of the other CW superhero shows had a GREAT first season (and Arrow didn't turn to shit until season 4, if I'm remembering correctly), but this is terrible from the start, and it's likely only downhill from here. The acting is just so wooden and disappointing. I really like Ruby Rose, but I guess I haven't really seen her act well since Orange is the New Black, and maybe she was only good because the writing is so strong on that show (even until the very end - every character is just so well-developed). I just think she's miscast here - originally because I thought she was was just too good for shit like this, but now I think she's just too serious - and not likeable at all (and you are supposed to like her, she's a fuckin' superhero for fuck sake). The plot isn't half-bad, but if you don't have characters that are interesting, then there is no point.

3. Dublin Murders - I've only seen the first episode, so far, and I'm a little disappointed. I was hoping for a little bit more of The Killing, but it's even slower than that (I didn't think that was possible, and I love The Killing, for the record). I did like the twist at the end, it makes the whole case a little bit more psychological. It makes me want to continue watching, which if the twist didn't exist, I probably would not want to sit through any more of it. I'm hoping it gets better (I saw SO many people talking about it on twitter, but as of right now, I just don't get it).

4. Treadstone - I've watched four episodes, and they were all pretty solid. I think they are introducing too many characters and storylines at once, but I'm hoping it all comes together cohesively. I'm a big fan of the Bourne movies (like, really, really big fan. I prefer them over Bond any day), so this show is a perfect extension of that universe. The only storylines I'm really interested in right now are the guy that was working in Alaska, the past storyline with Petra and that guy that looks like Ryan Phillippe (not quite as hot, because no-one is), and the Piano teacher girl. The other storylines are a little dull, and/or the acting is bad (the girl who plays the journalist is terrible, and unfortunately she has a major storyline for now).

5. His Dark Materials - Oh my God, this is some boring-ass storytelling. How I made it through the first episode, I'll never know (James McAvoy helped tremendously). I think the girl is a great actress - I don't know her from anything aside from Logan but she is stunning in that (even with very little dialogue), so overall the cast in this is fantastic. But the story is just.....blah. It's just not really my thing, I guess, because I know it has some serious fans but it's just so slow, and predictable, and mind-numbing. I'm dreading watching any more of it.

*I have not yet watched any episodes of Watchmen, but I AM EXCITED by all the rave reviews...*

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. El Camino - Like many people, Breaking Bad is my favorite show. Ever. I've actually been too nervous to do a re-watch, because I'm so terrified that I've built it up bigger in my head and what if it's not as good as I remember it? I think I would be devastated. Watching the first episode was sort of a fluke for me. I do tend to watch every show imaginable - eventually, but I watched the very first episode of this as it aired, for one very odd reason - I saw a commercial and thought it was a new show with the hot guy from Weeds and The Invisible and I was instantly IN (took me a while to realize that I thought Aaron Paul was Justin Chatwin...). I watched the first episode simply for a hot guy, and then was BLOWN AWAY by what I watched. Jesse was always the heart of the show, and I knew during the finale that they left his story open...for a reason. This was a really convenient way to continue the story. The movie is satisfying - I don't think it ever hits the brilliance of the series, but I enjoyed it. They creatively bring back all of the important characters, and it never feels forced. There are some really suspenseful moments (the scene with the "cops" is wonderful), and of course, Jesse is given the best one-liners imaginable ("only an asshole doesn't like pineapple". Just brilliant.). Overall, I was completely entertained. I miss these characters so much (side-note - What happened to Better Call Saul? I feel like it's been so long since the last season?).

2. Yesterday - Kind of an amazing idea, but definitely not explored to its fullest capacity. It's quite delightful and sweet, but it left me with so many questions. The plot is that this guy is a struggling singer/songwriter who gets hit by a bus, when he wakes up he discovers that The Beatles (and Coke) never existed - so he steals their entire catalogue and becomes a world-wide phenomenon. I mean, if I'm honest, I would probably do the same thing. On the surface- I think it's a highly entertaining rom-com. Himesh Patel does a wonderful job with The Beatles songs, and Lily James is as lovely as ever (the film is at its strongest when she is on-screen). However, I think if you go deeper than the surface, the film is an absolute mess. The Beatles weren't just famous because they wrote great songs - they were a force of nature, changing Rock music forever. If The Beatles didn't exist, then so many other bands wouldn't exist either. This guy, while he sounds nice, has NO presence whatsoever (which is why he wasn't successful to begin with). Also, I think we're supposed to think that Ed Sheeran is our modern day version of The Beatles? Is that for real? I have nothing against the guy (and according to my mother, he "has the voice of an angel"), but he's certainly not changing the course of music history. Also, I laughed really hard at the Coldplay joke (and I like Coldplay!).

3. Bumblebee - I'm a big fan of the Transformers franchise (suck it, haters!), but I was not really looking forward to this. It seems like a sappy, nostalgia-filled, charming movie, and that, to me, is just not a Transformer movie. I think the creators *think* that they are doing something different with Hailee Steinfeld's character, but they are sorely mistaken. It's actually kind of hilarious because she's pretty much identical to Mikaela from the first Transformers (played by Megan Fox). She's super attractive, and totally into cars. BUT, Steinfeld's character is different because she has a "boys" name (Charlie), and she doesn't care about her appearance (but just happens to have the thickest fucking eye makeup on for the entire movie - eye makeup that takes at least 10 full minutes to apply, but we are just supposed to believe that she just rolls out of bed like that and doesn't give a fuck what you think...). It's just so dumb. And, wait for it..., it's incredibly fucking sexist (but this was written by a woman, so it can't be sexist...right??). Anyway, the movie is ok, it just feels unnecessary - and it's all been done before in a much better way, in my opinion. The best part of the whole thing is PAMELA ADLON! I just absolutely adore her. 

4. Arctic - The only way these types of movies work is if the acting is really, really strong - and you just can't go wrong with Mads Mikkelsen, can you? He's incredible. Why hasn't there been Oscar talk for this role? It's definitely one of the best performances I've seen this year. The movie, though, is just about average. It feels a bit like The Grey, but that movie is far superior. Sometimes it's difficult to watch films with very little dialogue - you really have to be in the right head-space. It's never quite boring, but I just didn't really find it interesting either. *slight spoiler alert* I also didn't really understand his thought process of taking the girl with him? Wouldn't he have been able to travel further without her? And wouldn't she have been safer? Or was he scared that she would get eaten by a bear or something? It's questions like that where I feel dialogue would have helped. Anyway, as disinterested as I thought I was, the ending is a freaking killer. I sat at the edge of my couch and bawled like a fucking baby at the ending. It's so tense, and emotional - just filmed and acted to perfection.

5. The Upside - Ok, I was a pretty big fan of the original film, The Intouchables. It almost made it into my Best Films of 2012 list, but that was such an incredible year for movies - it had some tough competition. I loved the original because it was just so charming and heartwarming, but it didn't feel cheesy at all. This updated (i.e American) version is super cheesy. The biggest failure is the chemistry between the leads, and also, the chemistry that Hart has with the audience is lacking as well. In the original, I adored this character because Omar Sy was just so loveable. Kevin Hart is fucking grating (I'm glad he's okay after that horrific car crash, but that doesn't mean I have to like his comedy or his acting). He's been good in some things (I laughed hard at him in Jumanji), but he seems angry in this movie - and that's just not the character. Just everything about it felt...off. It's too serious, too cliched, and just unnecessary. If you're going to remake a wonderful foreign film into an American version - you better make it just as good, if not better, otherwise what's the fucking point?