Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Land - I love Robin Wright and I love that so many women are stepping behind the camera! But this is...unfortunately, just really boring. It reminded me of that Reese Witherspoon movie where she goes on a long hike for self-redemption crap. This movie focuses more on grief, but it's still the same idea of forcing yourself into nature as some sort of torture. Actually, now that I'm thinking about it, it's actually like a more subtle version of Nomadland, but not as pretty looking. I think I would like the quietness and stillness of being out in the wild. And I love being alone. But I'm not really a survivalist - her trying to chop wood is exactly how I would look trying to chop wood. And I could never kill my own food. I would just go full vegetarian, I think. Anyway, I like the ideas of the movie but it's nothing really new and it moves really slowly. And it's certainly not memorable in any way. Just all around disappointing. 

2. 8-Bit Christmas - Super, super cute Christmas movie. It felt like a classic family-oriented feel-good movie or like a really long episode of The Goldbergs (but...not Jewish, obviously). The main kid is really adorable (he's the kid from Nightbooks! He's like a mini Patton Oswald). There's some really funny dialogue ("it's not even below zero!") and nostalgia filled moments (like him blowing into the video game). I didn't have a Nintendo, but my cousin did, and I do vividly remember enjoying playing Super Mario Bros, but also somehow video games were just never really my thing. I tried to play Mario Kart a few years ago and it's still...just not my thing. Anyway, my favorite part was the Encyclopedia prize because I knew that obviously the BIG prize was not going to be a Nintendo, so I kept racking my brain for what it was going to be - never guessing the most obvious and perfect thing....Encyclo-freakin'-pedias. Honestly, at that age I would have preferred them over a Nintendo (I was such a dork, but like a cool dork. I think? I was never really made fun of and I had friends, but I loved learning shit). Actually, the Encyclopedia bit was my second favorite part, because obviously the end is just spectacular. I almost cried. Man, I wish I had a childhood like that. 

3. The Unforgivable - *slight spoilers* I just love Sandy B so, so, so much. Honestly though, I prefer her in lighter comedy roles or fun action type films. I understand why she wanted to break free from the roles she was being relegated to, but she is so damn good at them and sometimes people are better off "staying in their lane" so to speak. I just don't think dramas are the best roles for her (but what do I know, she got an Oscar for doing drama - she's never going to get an Oscar for doing movies like Speed or The Heat). I like this story a lot. There is a lot to be said within stories of redemption, and I think this movie gets a lot of things right with how we treat ex-convicts and how terrible our prisoner release program works. And while it has nothing to do with this particular story, the problem is so much deeper particularly with women doing time for killing their abusive partners. Every case is different, and I'm not saying that prison isn't sometimes a necessary step, but what are we doing for people after they are rehabilitated (if they are rehabilitated - again, a whole other topic). I like that this story shows the ugly side of people - and just how mean and unforgiving we can be. It's also weird to see people mad that someone is basically living in poverty and working in a factory (not exactly what anyone would describe as a "good" life). She's still clearly suffering for her so-called sins. If it kept the focus on this it would probably be among my favorites of the year. But instead it gets really melodramatic with the family seeking revenge (this whole plot is also not believable at all) and the brother sleeping with the other brother's wife. It's all just so unnecessary. The ending is great, though. I should have called it, but I totally wasn't expecting it. Also, Viola Davis is INCREDIBLY under-utilized. 

4. Candyman (2021) - Well, with the mediocre reception, I was expecting mediocre, and that is exactly what I got. I had no idea that it's a sequel, though. I assumed it was a remake - I think that's how it was advertised...right? Or am I crazy? I didn't find out until I went to press play and saw it in the description. It's kind of sad because there is so much you can do with a Candyman sequel 30 years later, but instead...we get this? It's...nothing? Everything about it is just so dull, including the flat characters. It just got so boring pretty quickly (I think I was about 30 minutes in when I started to zone out...). There's also some really poorly done scenes, like the scene with the art critic and his intern - it's barely watchable. Poorly acted and poorly edited. It's also not scary at all. I wasn't exactly scared by the original either, but it definitely has some creepy shit in it. With this one, I could not tell you one single scary moment. I think it's so weird that Nia DaCosta landed a huge Marvel project (The Marvels) with so little under her belt (just this and Little Woods, which was...okay?). It's like setting someone up to fail, in my opinion. I will tell you, though, Teyonah Parris is stunning. 

5. The Voyeurs - I liked this way more than I thought I would. It's a very sexy erotic thriller, and those are hard to find nowadays. It also surprised me in a lot of ways, which is exciting because I thought I knew the story and I assumed it was going to be incredibly predictable. I really like Sydney Sweeney and she has literally the most perfect body - that perfect combination of skinny and curvy. She really holds this whole movie together because it definitely could be a terrible movie - I feel like it sits right on that weird line of being technically bad, but somehow really entertaining. Because aside from the unexpected turns and Sweeney's excellence, there are some really terrible parts. For one, the guy who plays her boyfriend (Justice Smith) is God-awful and he has one of those voices that makes my ears bleed. There's some rough dialogue (although I did like the line "I would argue that most penises aren't connected to a brain"). *spoilers ahead* And as much as I like how it ends, it's not exactly realistic in any way (I'm pretty sure tricking someone into signing a legal document is considered fraud or at least some sort of false pretense thing - and she can easily prove she was tricked). Also, when she goes to his place and acts all coy and dumb as if she doesn't know exactly what's going to happen...is weird and it feels out of character. But, it's hot. And they are hot. So I'll stop complaining about that. It's also hilarious that Ben Hardy is in this; I didn't realize it until it's almost over because he's so far away for the whole thing. And then that scene happens and I was like "OH SHIT that guy is hot...wait is that Ben Hardy?!!". And finally, none of this would have happened if people just CLOSED THEIR CURTAINS. I'll never understand this as a plot device. I always have my blinds closed or opened but angled upwards so you can't see directly in. Like a fucking normal person.