Thoughts on 5 Films

1. 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple - I don't know if I say this enough, but I fucking LOVE Jack O'Connell. It's insane that he didn't become a major star after Unbroken. I think that's finally changing after his performance in Sinners - I see a lot of love for him now and Americans finally know who he is. And he's picked up some big franchise films for next year, so I think he's finally on the A-list where he belongs! I have a massive crush on him (surprise, surprise...), but I honestly think he's an incredible actor (just like my other two massive celebrity crushes - Taron Egerton and James McAvoy). I was disappointed with 28 Years Later because I expected it to star O'Connell and it doesn't (he's only in the last few minutes, setting up for this sequel) but I still liked the film. I loved this one though. And it is O'Connell's film - he is OUTSTANDING as this villainous cult leader Sir Jimmy Crystal (who is modeled after a British media personality Jimmy Savile - someone most Americans have never heard of). He's super fucking psychotic and charismatic at the same time, and not a lot of actors can pull that off. And he may be up there with being among the best film villains of all time? And also, Ralph Fiennes is SO GOOD. I love his scenes with Samson - the alpha zombie. But the highlight is the 3rd act in which Fiennes and O'Connell go head-to-head. The entire "devil" scene is incredible and the way Fiennes leans into this persona is hilarious (and LOL at playing Iron Maiden. It's so perfect). I was engrossed in the whole film - loved every second of it only for my husband to declare it "even worse than the previous one". WHAT?! Anyway, I was surprised that the return of Cillian Murphy is reserved for the very end. Sorry, I don't think that's a spoiler as it was heavily advertised that he was returning to the franchise. And he will probably be in the 3rd one (or technically 5th one?). I think my only criticism is that some of the gore and the violence does feel purely for shock value, but I also think that's the point of all of this - to show the inhumanity and pointlessness of this world that is created. I also think that Spike (played by Alfie Williams) is a bit too sidelined. He's the reason we should care about this world and they give him very little to do. Overall, though, I'm very impressed with this - it's the first Nia DaCosta film I've liked since Little Woods. 

2. Crime 101 - This is WAY better than I was expecting. I thought it was going to be a satisfying but cliched crime thriller, which it is - but it's also introspective and character driven in a way that most crime thrillers are not. First of all, I like this cast, but I don't necessarily think they are right for these parts. I've come around to Chris Hemsworth, but I don't think he should lead films. Halle Berry is actually good in this - THANK GOD (she hasn't been good in....a while) but, to cast her as an aging woman who men don't see value in is RIDICULOUS. Sure, she's 53 now but she's still one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Men still ADORE her. Mark Ruffalo is really gunning for the Columbo role, isn't he? He keeps doing these gruff detective roles lately and it's becoming boring. But the most egregious casting offense here is Barry Keoghan in a role in which he barely has any lines and the only character the audience doesn't get to know. This is a perfect role for a newcomer to break into a big film, but Barry is NOT a newcomer??? He was nominated for an Oscar just a few years ago! What the fuck is happening?? (I would say the same for Monica Barbaro, but she was nominated just last year for an Oscar, and this movie was likely already in production - hopefully she's getting bigger roles now). And finally, why cast Jennifer Jason Leigh in your film to give her one very unimportant scene? It's all just weird. But, aside from the cast, I think this is a really good character study about the choices that people make and how doing bad things doesn't necessarily make a person bad. I was entertained. 

3. Pizza Movie - This is a cute and funny teen comedy. It's a genre that is getting wiped out (and yes, I do blame political correctness on this a bit - young people don't know how to be funny and woke at the same time so they just avoid it all together). I mean, I can't even think of the last one prior to this? Maybe Booksmart but that was 7 years ago? The Mean Girls remake? I guess that can be considered, but I think that was made for people who are older and nostalgic for the original. Oh wait - I know - it was that Y2K movie that bombed (and also one can argue it was made for nostalgia and not for teens of today). Anyway, I think this is good for what it is. It's a dumb stoner movie for Gen Alpha & younger Gen Zers. It's basically Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, except it's about two high college kids trying to get pizza delivered. I watched this because I really like the kid from The Goldbergs (Sean Giambrone) - I think he's genuinely a very funny person. I'm not as big on the kid from Stranger Things (Gaten Matarazzo), but they have good buddy chemistry together. Also, the girl looked extremely familiar to me and then I realized that she's the girl that's covered in blood on the Becky poster - a film that I have never seen, but that poster is something. And the guy that plays the villainous RA is kind of hot?! Obviously too young for me, but HOT. He's so completely over-the-top as this villain, but I dig it. He's giving it his all for this dumb-ass movie and I respect it! A lot of it is dumb, but there are some extremely funny parts like the exploding heads scene ("it's a British drug, cunt is allowed" I DIED) and when he switches bodies with his pet butterfly (that sentence sounds super weird out of context) and he chants "I crave nectar" (also fun fact: Daniel Radcliffe voices the butterfly LOL). It's trippy and fun and destined to be a cult classic (if those exist anymore). 

4. It Was Just an Accident - *some spoilers* This is fantastic. A quiet but intense story about revenge, forgiveness, empathy and humanity. I was skeptical in the beginning because this family in the car hit a dog, killing it, and I thought "welp I hate you and I hope you die", but then we find out that this man tortured people and we're supposed to hate him. The story takes quite a turn that I wasn't expecting (I knew nothing about it going in). The mechanic who is fixing his car after the dog incident realizes that he's his past tormentor and kidnaps him. But then he's not 100% sure that it's him so he has to recruit others that were tortured to identify him. Obviously there is a lot of political history behind it - the group are Iranian political prisoners. But even without all of that, it's still a really interesting story - and a bit like Sleepers (one of my favorite films ever). It's a really well-made film too, with some very memorable imagery - the fact that one of them is in a wedding dress the whole time makes it extremely interesting visually. I love that the story turns to this man's family and that the mechanic still helps them - there's this fine line of killing a monster without becoming a monster that is straddled here and it is perfection.  The ending is chilling. If I were in this situation though, I would just let the guy in the blue shirt handle it - he seems confident enough and angry enough to justify whatever actions he deems appropriate. 

5. The Testament of Ann Lee - A few things about this movie piqued my interest - I'm a big fan of Amanda Seyfried and her performance in this gained Oscar buzz (but didn't pan out), it's directed and co-written by Mona Fastvold - who is Brady Corbet's partner (and he co-wrote this as well). She co-wrote a few of Brady's films so I'm interested in her taking the directing lead, and it's a musical! I'm well aware that the religious aspect is going to either bore me to death or anger me, but I went in with as much of an open mind as possible. Also, I have no idea who Ann Lee is (again, religious figures are not something I paid attention to), so maybe I'll learn something! Overall, I liked this. It's not necessarily my vibe, but it's incredibly made, the sound design is fantastic, the musical interludes are so captivating, the choreography is stunning, and Amanda Seyfried definitely deserved some love from the Academy, even though her accent is a little spotty. The story is good - this woman basically becomes a cult leader (all religions are a cult) after all four of her children die as infants. She thought that God was punishing her for having sex, so she started a religious movement that was based on celibacy. It's fascinating to learn how cults start and how people get so easily duped into following them. The ending is absolutely horrific (it ends how all other religious persecution type stories end - very badly). I do think that if told in a typical fashion, this story would have bored me to death, but Fastvold made such a visually interesting film that I was fascinated. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Wicked: For Good - I wasn't a big fan of the first one, and I felt the same about this one. I rated the first one 2.5 stars, which seems a little harsh now, but I genuinely think it looks absolutely terrible and cheap so I stand by that rating. There are some things I really liked about it, though - like Ariana Grande is such a standout. Just an incredible talent and such an unexpected comedic performance. She's just as good in this, but the rest of the movie is just as much of a letdown. The whole thing is kind of a dud - I know this made a decent amount of money, but it certainly didn't have the lasting effect or the awards buzz that everyone expected. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that it 100% should have just been ONE film. I'm pretty sure the first one would have actually won a few of those Oscars if it weren't 1/2 of a film. There are really no highlights in this either - aside from Grande (the fight scene is adorable with the witch cackle and the way she turns the wand around. I laughed. She's so adorable). I do like Cynthia Erivo too (her voice is incredible). But there are a lot of cringeworthy moments. Michelle Yeoh can NOT sing. Just horrendous. I also think there are way more songs in this one? I could be wrong about that, but it just felt like song after song, and I got real bored real quick. I'm convinced Bowen Yang is one of the most unfunny men on the planet (just unwatchable in this and all of those SNL skits are terrible. Yes. Every. Single. One.). And I need Jonathon Bailey to pick up another role really quickly so I don't even remember him in this because I love him, but these films did him dirty. That scarecrow makeup at the end?? You should have seen my face! Who on Earth decided that looked remotely adequate?? It's all so...UGH. 

2. Hot Milk - I didn't like this at all. More like Hot Garbage! I was really hoping for better for Emma Mackey because I adore her! She was incredible in Sex Education and she deserved so much better than the other 2025 Hot Garbage film, Ella McCay. She deserves a good starring role in a film. But maybe it's too soon? Maybe she should focus on choosing really strong supporting roles for a bit. Anyway, this is a movie that I can connect to in a lot of ways, which I wasn't expecting. And normally that would be a good thing, but the way the story plays out and her relationship with this other women feels very inauthentic. So *personal story time*, just like this young woman, I had a very sick mom growing up - she had severe pain in her abdomen. Sometimes she couldn't get out of bed because the pain was so bad. It was a huge part of my childhood - basically all of my teenage years. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with her and a lot of doctors made it seem like it was all psychosomatic. Some doctors believed her and misdiagnosed her with many things (they even took out her very healthy appendix!), until finally one doctor realized that scar tissue from a childhood injury and scar tissue from a botched c-section had wrapped around her intestines. She had to have several surgeries and was in and out of the hospital for months. And as shown in this film, it's a very isolating experience for a child to go through. It made me grow up a lot quicker than everyone else my age. But I definitely remember, as a teenager, being extremely resentful of my mom's illness. And I began to question the authenticity of her pain just like the doctors. I'm lucky that my mom got treatment before I became an adult and it didn't impact me leaving home (literally when I turned 18 I was like fuck this! Get me out of here!, which I wouldn't have done if my mom was still sick). I have sympathy for this young woman in this movie, but also at some point you have to grow up and become your own person. If they didn't introduce this other woman - who is older and clearly grooming her - I would have liked this story. But it becomes something else that is very uninteresting. The movie does look really pretty, and the acting is good. I also liked the ending (the way she's past her limit is great - and Emma does a great job portraying this). I just think the whole middle is bad and they don't feel like real people - like when this other woman, played by Vicky Krieps, admits that she killed someone and then they just go about their day like nothing happened. WHAT? and when Emma threatens a man double her size? He could kill her. No woman would do that. And WHY does she keep going in the fucking water if there are jellyfish who love to sting her? Are you stupid?

3. Sentimental Value - YAY!!! Another 4 star film from 2025!! Fucking FINALLY. I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with people who say it was a fantastic year for film. I can barely make a Top 10 list, and so far, the ones I do have on my list aren't even all 4 star films! 3.5 star films should not make it into a Top 10 list! That's crazy! Anyway, I love this. Movies about making movies don't always work, but this one does it well. I think everyone is very deserving of those Oscar nominations - and maybe Elle Fanning should have won hers? That's debatable. But Renate Reinsve should have definitely won. I'm a big fan (although I wasn't a huge fan of The Worst Person in the World - she was great in it). I think she is one of the few actors that know how to act with their eyes - like I can see what she's thinking without her even saying dialogue. I definitely think she's better than the winning Oscar performance (sorry, not sorry!). The supporting cast is great too - obvi the other Oscar nominees Stellan Skarsgard & Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas - but also Cory Michael Smith, and Anders Danielsen Lie (I love him!). I think this film accomplishes something that Jay Kelly was trying to accomplish by showing this aging filmmaker reflect on his career and deal with the consequences of being famous and how that effected his relationships with his children. It questions the idea of "legacy". But also on a smaller scale it deals with human emotions (and how nonsensical these emotions can be sometimes) and the idea of finding meaning in objects that hold memories - I absolutely LOVE how she describes her house. It becomes a character of its own, and it's just a gorgeous sentiment that feels like a poem. I wish the movie were shorter - because it starts to drag. 100 minutes, and it might have been close to perfect. 

4. Primate - This is basically Cujo? The only difference is that Cujo is about a mother and her son - and you clearly don't want them to die by horrifically being attacked by a rabid dog, while this one is about a bunch of squealing young women who are annoying as fuck so you want them to die instantly. Like, fucking attack them you adorable little chimp. Rip their fucking heads right off! DO IT! Haha! I'm sort of kidding. My point is that I really didn't give a shit about these girls so there's nothing at stake. It's also annoying that they all look the same, too. I don't know which one is the annoying friend, the good friend, the main girl and the sister. They're all identical - none are given personalities except that one is "annoying", but if you find all Gen Zers annoying then you won't notice a difference between their levels of annoying. I love that Troy Kotsur is in this, though. He obviously deserves a better film, but I love that he is showing that someone with a hearing disability can still be in films that aren't about having a hearing disability (also, he was so good in the Netflix show Black Rabbit - hard to believe that performance went unnoticed. I thought for sure he would have been an Emmy front-runner). There's a lot of dumb stuff that is hard to reconcile - like, you didn't tell your friends that you have a pet chimp before they arrived at your house? And why would this group of guys WALK INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE when it's dark and it looks like nobody is home??? That's breaking & entering! The chimp has the right to kill you! The only positive (aside from Kotsur) is that there is some good gore, but it's so fucking dark in some parts. I would like to SEE the gore, please! 

5. Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice - I'm SHOCKED by the positive reviews I read for this movie. I mean, someone I trust a lot with movie reviews rated it FOUR fucking stars!! Insane! It's terrible! The acting? terrible! The plot? Fucking stupid. The soundtrack? So extremely random that it doesn't even make sense (rave music during a fight scene and then Papa Roach during another one? An Oasis sing-along? What is happening?). Also, the title?? Get the fuck out of here with this dumbass title! It's also 2 hours long when it should be 100 minutes (most movies should be 100 minutes!). It's not funny in the slightest (I laughed once at the "Ur in danger girl" text, but I'm not sure if the Ghost reference was done on purpose). I love James Marsden (everyone watch Jury Duty please!) and Eiza Gonzalez, but I also really love Jimmy Tatro, and he's completely wasted in this. Someone needs to write him a comedy STAT. I'm a fan of Vince Vaughn too, but I think it's widely agreed that he can become grating if there's too much of him (because he does the same character in every project) and this is a DOUBLE DOSE of Vince Vaughn so that's...something else. It's like max irritation level annoying. I do like the sci-fi plot mixed in with this gangster drama - it's, at the very least, original. But it's just badly executed and it feels like it's trying too hard be funny and it fails.  

3 Thoughts on Project Hail Mary

**contains spoilers**

1. Grace & Rocky - The love story of the decade? Between a science teacher and a....rock alien? It's certainly not what I was expecting to watch. I was very excited to watch this film for a few reasons - one is obviously Ryan Gosling (I will get back to him in a sec), another is that the mostly rave reviews I skimmed were very enticing. But the main reason is because I read The Martian last year and it might be my favorite fiction I read in a long, long time. I vaguely remember the movie - I did like it, but, man, the book is just *incredible*. I've had Project Hail Mary on my list ever since, but decided to watch the movie first because I wanted to be surprised by it. And surprised I was! I had no idea it was about an encounter with an alien! A ROCK ALIEN! And that they form a bond so strong that Grace (Gosling) gives up his entire life on earth to save this little guy. It's so heartwarmingly wonderful I could cry just thinking about it. It's a testament to the filmmaking team that they make this alien so fucking loveable when it's literally a rock. A big part of this chemistry that forms between these two is due to the practical effects of it all. Rocky is the product of incredible puppeteering as opposed to CGI, and I learned that the guy who did the puppetry work (James Ortiz) went to my college and he's only a few years younger than me so we were probably there the same time. He doesn't really look familiar, but that was over 20 years ago. I guarantee you he will be featured in the next alumni magazine that they send out though. Anyway, it's just super cool that they made this work so well, but a LOT of the credit has to be given to Gosling. There are so many ways for this movie to fall apart, but he just commands your attention and makes you care about the story for its entirety. He is the perfect example of someone who takes his work seriously, but doesn't take himself seriously and those are the types of people I love. He's having fun! But he's passionate about what he's doing! And both of those things show in every performance he gives. I also have to mention the costume designer for this knocks it out of the park with all of the funny science t-shirts he wears (my favorite is the t-shirt with the periodic table that reads "I wear this shirt periodically"), and for giving Gosling, once again, an iconic layering piece - I just know we're going to see a bunch of men wearing grandpa cardigans featuring woodland creatures for the rest of the year. 

2. Sign of the Times - I highly doubt I will see a better scene than Sandra Huller singing "Sign of the Times" this year. I would never consider myself a Harry Styles fan, and I was late to discovering this song, but I remember hearing it about a year ago and I thought to myself "wow that is a beautiful, timeless, pop song" without knowing it was Styles. I added it to my Spotify list and have been listening to it regularly since then. But I did not expect to see Huller doing a karaoke version of it in this film. There's a lot of reasons as to why it works so well - Huller's character's stoicism starts to break and you see a tiny part of her humanity, the lyrics are perfect, ("welcome to the final show, hope you're wearing your best clothes", "breaking through the atmosphere, and things are pretty good from here", etc. It literally feels like the song was written for this film), and the way Gosling reacts to her is absolutely perfect. I've had the song in my head since watching this (over a week ago) and it makes me tear up just thinking about this movie. If Huller doesn't use this as her Oscar clip, it will be a mistake. I also think this is a key scene in foreshadowing the end of the film (not the final moments, but the end in which explains how Gosling got on this suicidal mission - it was not his choice but the choice was made for him for the greater good.). We see the bigger picture that is in place and how little one single person's life means in the grand scheme of things. And I think this was the point in the movie when I started to think I might be watching a 5 star film. I rated it 4.5 because I just don't rate movies 5 stars until I've seen them more than once, but I think this might be a perfect film (for reference, I've only rated 16 movies EVER 5 stars. The last one I rated 5 stars? Yup, you guessed it...Drive). 

3. Marcus, Lily, and Company - Outside of Gosling and Huller, there are also a lot of surprising recognizable faces in this. Marcus from The Bear (i.e. my favorite character!) is a security officer who forms a fun bond with Gosling's character. And he has some really funny moments (like the visit to Home Depot). I really love him (real name - Lionel Boyce), so I hope this is just the beginning of big movies for him. But even more surprising is that Milana Vayntrub is in this! Most know her as the AT&T girl, Lily, from all the commercials - I looked it up and she did 160 commercials for them???? That can't be right? Holy shit! But she has been in some films like Werewolves Within, which is a film I didn't really like but any sane person will develop a HUGE crush on Vayntrub from that movie because she is SO HOT in it. When she shows up in this, I didn't really think it was her. I thought it was just a girl that looked like her, and then she speaks with a Russian accent and I thought "ok it's definitely not her" and thought I was correct in that statement until I sat down to write this post (haha!). Apparently she's fluent in Russian! Some other recognizable faces: Ken Leung and the woman who was also in F1 that I recognize because her last name is Kingsman, which I, for some reason, think is funny (because I love the Kingsman movies! Duh!). 

Movie Marathon: The Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit

The Lord of the Rings:

1. The Fellowship of the Ring - Let me start off by saying that I've seen all of The Lord of the Rings films exactly once and it was in a theater upon their release. So, it's been 23-25 years since I've seen them. I was a big fan back then, though. Not like the real crazy fans - I've never read the books nor do I care enough about the lore to nitpick the movies. But I do think they are extremely well made films with some great effects, beautiful cinematography and set design, and a fun group of actors. I grew up with Elijah Wood - from The Good Son and The Adventures of Huck Finn to The Faculty and Deep Impact, he was always in a fun movie at every stage of my child & teen years. But the real crush for me was Orlando Bloom. I fell for him with Black Hawk Down and then he became like my #1 celebrity crush after The Pirates of the Caribbean. I loved Legolas. I don't think he's the best actor, but he's so good in these fantasy franchises. I remembered way more of this than I thought - which is weird because I don't remember the next two at all. While watching it, I kept thinking all of this happens in just the first film? What the Hell are the next two about?? Also, I should mention that we watched the extended editions for all of these movies except the first Hobbit (my husband owns the boxset extended version of LotR films because he is one of those nerds who read all the books. And HBO Max had the extended version of the last two Hobbit movies but not the first for some reason?). So, it took FOREVER to watch all of these films because they are all like 4 hours long and it's completely unnecessary. I mean, you can cut out at least 1/2 of all the shots of the ring and hobbit feet close-ups (gross) and you would save 30 minutes from each film right there. But I do appreciate the epicness of it all. 

2. The Two Towers - I actually think I might prefer this one slightly over the first one, even though I ultimately ranked it below (the first is just the bones of the whole series). The Battle of Helm's Deep is one of the most memorable scenes of the whole series and it's just absolutely stunning. This is actually the only thing I remembered about this movie, though. But I enjoyed this rewatch. It just flows really well. I think everyone feels really comfortable with their roles and you can feel the comradery and bond between them. I also like the additions of Karl Urban (!!) and Miranda Otto. Also, I noticed that Bloom's eyes kept changing color from the bright sky blue to his normal brown and it was very distracting. I looked it up and apparently he had a hard time with the contacts they made him wear. I kind of appreciate that they just went fuck it - do the scene without them instead of forcing someone to possibly damage their eyesight. But I'm also surprised that they didn't just fix it in post? It's not like the color of his eyes ever looked real. Anyway, I think this one is the easiest to watch - it's really beautiful, has some funny and emotional moments, and a clear story. 

3. The Return of the King - This one is fine. I rated it 3.5 stars mainly because it looks so good and it's a satisfying conclusion to this story. But it's hardly memorable. It's kinda weird that it won ALL of the Oscars when the first two are clearly better. It's also weird that it won SO many Oscars, but none of the actors were even nominated. I mean, Andy Serkis paved the way and set extremely high expectations for the future of motion-capture. And Elijah puts his ALL into these films. It's clear that the 11 Oscars were for the trilogy as a whole, so it's odd to not include all of the actors hard work too. Anyway, by the end of this I really thought "I swear to God if I see one more shot of dirty hobbit feet I will scream" and yet, I continued my marathon with The Hobbit movies. It also confirmed that fantasy films are just not my vibe. I appreciate the filmmaking aspect of these movies, but the whole elves, dwarves, orcs etc., is just not something I'm interested in. It will definitely be at least another 25 years before I ever have an inkling to watch these films again. 

The Hobbit:

4. An Unexpected Journey - So I realized that I never watched The Hobbit movies a few years ago and I thought I would fix that so I watched this one fairly recently (I think it was 2-3 years ago, but it also could have been 5). And it's...fine. But it definitely did not make me excited about watching the other two and I kept putting it off. I think doing a marathon of these movies definitely helped my enjoyment of all of them because the story is a LOT. There are a ton of characters and subplots and it's hard to keep track of it, plus the timeline of this prequel confused me on my first watch. I think the casting of Martin Freeman is kind of genius though! But the rest of the cast leaves a lot to be desired - there are NO hot people! Orlando isn't in this one (he's in the next two, but looks weird due to the de-aging makeup/cgi), and there aren't any Viggo Mortinsons or Liv Tylers to compensate. Just a bunch of dwarves. God help me. The biggest mistake that The Hobbit series makes though is dividing up the story into 3 parts when it's completely unnecessary. There's not enough story for 3 whole (long ass) films. I think it would have actually been great if it was just one film - I would have even been fine with it being very long. But I was very bored for a majority of these films. Every scene feels stretched to the max. 

5. The Desolation of Smaug - This is my favorite of The Hobbit movies. I actually think it's really good. Also, I was shocked to see Peter Jackson pop up within the first frame, and then I looked it up to learn that he actually makes a cameo in all of the movies! I didn't know that bit of trivia at all and neither did my husband. As I said, the CGI or bad makeup that they did for Orlando has the opposite of the intended effect - he looks 10 years older and he's supposed to be younger than he was in the LotR films. But I'm glad he returned for these - and I like that his character is more stoic in these because that shows how much the Fellowship changed him. And they at least added another hot guy - Luke Evans! I love him and his character so much (I would've been down for a spin-off with this character! - that's how they could have continued to capitalize on these films). As much as I liked this, I do think the effects feel lazy compared to the LotR films. The fights look like they are more video game effects - too smooth and just really uninteresting. 

6. The Battle of the Five Armies - And this is my least favorite of the whole series and the only one I rated less than good (I rated it 2.5 stars). It's not even really a movie - it's just a very, very long battle. Just battle after battle after battle. There's no more story left, and it feels pointless. But the worst part is that it looks bad. I don't think the other two Hobbit movies look as good as any of the LotR films because I think this was more of a cash grab than a genuine love of this story, but they still don't look terrible. But this one does. And they add in a weird love story between characters that nobody cares about (apparently it's in the book, but not a big focus). I question why these films are prefaced with The Hobbit because Bilbo is sidelined for a lot of these films - it's more about the dwarves than anything else? I was just really over it by the end of this. The only interest I had was in Evan's character, otherwise this is so dull and ugly. 

Ranking: 

Fellowship

Two Towers 

The Return of the King 

The Desolation of Smaug 

An Unexpected Journey 

The Battle of the Five Armies 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Zootopia 2 - This is a totally unnecessary movie and a complete cash grab of a film. It's fine. There's nothing bad about it - but it's....soulless. I loved the first Zootopia. I think it even made it into my top movies from that year (like 10 years ago, I think?), but because it was so long ago, and I only watched it the one time - I don't really remember it clearly. I remember the sloth DMV character because that was hilarious. And that there's a tiny bunny cop who eventually befriends a fox cop. But that's it. I also keep getting it confused with The Bad Guys because that's more recent and also about a animals doing human things. The plot of this is basically about gentrification - not that young kids will understand that concept, but it's a good lesson about life's inequalities and how to fight back. It's cute. It's fine. But definitely soulless. I don't even have anything else to say about it. Except that I instantly clocked that it was Shakira voicing Gazelle and I shouted "Shakira, Shakira" and started dancing. I LOVE Shakira. That's about all the fun I had with this. 

2. Mercy - Um...this is bad. It's basically Minority Report for the A.I. generation. And it also stars a problematic super star except everyone hates Chris Pratt for being part of a religious cult (all religions are a cult), but Tom Cruise is somehow well-loved (sorry, I will always point out the hypocrisy of this. It drives me mad). For the record, I like Chris Pratt and I have since The O.C. (Che! He was so funny). I think he's got great screen presence and can do action-based films as well as comedies and that's a bit rare. But he has no personality for this movie and it's his face on the screen for a majority of this movie. And Rebecca Ferguson has even less personality considering she's an A.I. judge. The whole movie is basically a warning against the dangers of letting A.I. think and make decisions for us, and I guess also championing our current jury based trial system (in the U.S), but that's kind of silly because there have been many instances of innocent people found guilty and guilty people found innocent. And it still all boils down to human error. I think it would have been a better film if it addressed this instead of being so dumbed down (A.I. = bad!). I also just think it's a super disappointing film coming from the director of Wanted, because I was definitely expecting some really terrific action sequences or film techniques and this has...nothing. He sits in a chair in front of a screen for most of the movie. The only thing cool is the police hover craft vehicle. Otherwise, it's so boring to watch. The gimmick of it all wears thin after 15 minutes. But LOL at the Perd from Parks & Rec cameo. I laughed hard at that. 

3. Greenland 2: Migration - This is also bad, which is even more disappointing because I really enjoyed the first one. I actually watched it again because my husband wanted to see it and since the sequel was coming out, I thought it would be good to have this one more fresh in my mind. Even after the rewatch, I genuinely think it's a great disaster film. They do such a good job of creating this chaotic atmosphere and making you care about this family. But the way it ended was really dumb because the kid has Diabetes and them making it to the bunker in Greenland is not designed for people with lifelong illness so there is NO WAY they would have enough insulin for this kid to survive more than a few years. And if they started the story with that - I would have forgiven it. Like, they have to leave the bunker to find insulin. But instead they have this whole other plot about the bunker basically imploding and the earth being constantly chaotic after this comet hit the Earth 5 years ago. The first one was mildly believable, but this one is FAR from it. Every scene becomes less and less believable, and more and more ridiculous. And they recast the kid which is weird - they cast Roman Griffin Davis who is supposed to be 15 now, even though it's only 5 years later and he was only 7 in the first film. I looked it up and the original kid is 14 so I don't know why they didn't cast him because at least he'll look the same just older. Instead, I was like who the fuck is this kid? And why is he so old? He's 19 in real life! And he looks it. I liked Davis in Jojo Rabbit, but his performance is very weak here. I don't really even understand their goal, either? What the Hell are they going to do now that they found a supposed "safe" zone? The world is still in shambles. 

4. Anaconda (2025) - And this is...good? I thought it was a dumb Anaconda remake so I was expecting the worst, but it's actually a meta comedy about remaking Anaconda. And that's actually a good idea! It's Jack Black, Paul Rudd, Thandiwe Newton, and Steve Zahn going to the Amazon to remake a low-budget Anaconda and then getting attacked by gigantic snakes. And it's FUNNY! And Daniela Melchior is HOT. I don't mean to over-sell it. It's a 3 star movie, but I was just expecting a 1 star movie. And be prepared - you will have the song "Baby Got Back" in your head for weeks after (specifically the line "my anaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun" which is obviously the best line of the song). I actually remember liking the original Anaconda. I saw it in the theater when I was a teenager with a group of my friends and we had a blast! I think this non-remake does a good job at making fun of the campiness of the original film, but also showing a deep respect for it. A few lines hit really well too - like when Rudd says to Black "dude, you can be the white Jordan Peele!" I actually did a spit-take. LOL. Also, when they are in the Amazon and realize they are fucked and they call out for JLo to help them. Haha! *some spoilers ahead* Also, when Ice Cube appears I said "awww they couldn't afford JLo but at least they got Ice" and THEN JLo shows up at the end. I can't believe she agreed to it! She's the best.  

5. Is This Thing On? - I didn't hate this like I hated Bradley Cooper's last directorial effort (Maestro was terrible). But also, this kind of makes me think that his A Star is Born directorial success was a fluke. This is just so dull. Him and Will Arnett co-wrote the script together, and I swear to God who is still greenlighting films about an upper middle-class privileged white man having a mid-life crisis? Is there anything less interesting? I can't think of any. I appreciate the whole stand-up comedy aspect, and how it's built through trial & error, and really putting yourself out there. But I think it does a disservice to show this guy having almost instant success and a full-blown successful career to fall back on. Because most stand-up comedians don't have that kind of support. The worst part of the whole thing though is that none of it is funny. They show several stand-up sets and I didn't laugh once! Everyone, including Arnett sucked. And then they introduce Dave Attell and I was like "oh finally! Someone who is actually funny!" and he doesn't even have any lines. I was FUMING! The only time I even cracked a smile through this whole movie is towards the end when the kids do the "Under Pressure" performance because it's SO CUTE. Also, I just don't feel like this is made well - there are so many close-ups of Arnett's face because I think Cooper thinks that it makes the film feel more intimate, but it's just annoying. And a lot of shots linger way too long. And Cooper cast himself in the wrong role. He's awful as this hipster laid-back actor guy. And I haven't even mentioned that the whole movie is really this divorce drama because the central relationship is so fucking dull, it's not even worth mentioning. 

Film Retrospective Part I: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-2000)

1. The Big Lebowski - [rewatch] I have to admit....I just don't get it. It's a great movie, sure, but I don't understand the cult following for it. I saw this once, and I think I was about 17, and I definitely didn't get the fuss, but thought I would get it more with this rewatch. I also think that I just didn't really like this movie back then because I hate bowling. Like, so, so much. My best friend (back then) - her family owned two bowling alleys in town so it was definitely an easy hang out spot and I loathed it. And people take it so seriously lol. But I like this cast a lot, so I was looking forward to this rewatch. It's definitely hilarious. I laughed a lot. I mean, John Turtorro as Jesus - what a fucking riot! The ferret scene? Hilarious. John Goodman is such a comedic legend, but can also act. I love him! I love the chaotic energy of it all, the soundtrack is FIRE, and it's genuinely funny. And, like I said, it's a great movie, I just don't think it's like one of the best ever. Two side notes: 1. HOLY SHIT - IS THAT TARA REID? LOL. I had NO IDEA she was in this. 2. Did you guys know that they made a spin-off movie featuring Jesus?? I thought to myself, I wonder if there was ever any thought to make a sequel to this, so I googled it and found this out. Haha! Wild. 

2. Ghost - [rewatch] I just LOVE this movie so much. I remember thinking Whoopi Goldberg was the funniest person on the planet with this movie. I still use the quote "Molly, you in danger girl" regularly. But also if I'm in a sour mood, I will think of her saying "gas...I get a little gas from time to time" LOL. She's such a legend and she deserved that Oscar, for REAL. The whole bank/check scene is one of my favorite scenes in film history. I haven't seen this movie in a while, so it was interesting to watch it knowing the friend is the bad guy - it makes me look at the details and foreshadowing that I didn't notice as a younger viewer. I also didn't notice how much Swayze's character talks about death in the beginning and how he's afraid of dying. It's just a really solid movie - solid plot and character twists, interesting characters, great dialogue. It's also just really romantic - and not in the cheesy, unrealistic romance. The pottery wheel scene is one of the sexiest scenes ever. And they picked the perfect song to match the romance. I would say the only criticism I have is that it *looks* terrible now from a modern viewpoint. The effects are awful. But there are some incredible shots - that mirror shot?? MIND BLOWN!! And Demi Moore is so gorgeous, but that's obvious. 

3. Misery - [rewatch] I reread this book last year, so I was excited to rewatch this. This is one of my favorite Stephen King stories (although I haven't read enough of his books - there are just so many!). I've seen the movie a few times, but a long time ago. It was my second read of the book. And I even saw the Broadway play a while back (starring BRUCE WILLIS!! LOL. He was terrible. Just not an actor made for Broadway. But I love him and I'm glad I got to see him in one of his last roles before his diagnosis.). But this is the first time that I connected *just* how good Kathy Bates is in this role. Annie Wilkes is probably the most loved fictional murderer of all time because you can't help but love Bates and feel empathy for her character. There's a warmth to her, an innocence under her cold-bloodedness. It's just incredible. Just an incredible performance. I think Rob Reiner (RIP) really made this suspense feel effortless too. It's so simple - simple set design, simple story, just a few characters but he made this soooo intense and terrifying. 

4. Foxy Brown - [blind spot] I've never seen this, but I love Pam Grier! Legend! I also love seeing the actual inspiration for the Austin Powers Beyonce character (Foxy Cleopatra). I liked this a lot - her outfits are stunning, it's funnier than I expected, and it moves very quickly. I laughed so hard at the scene in which her and the prostitute are making fun of the guy's penis ("I just can't find it" OMG dying). Also the opening credits are great. There's definitely some dated moments & dialogue that are hard to watch (both the n-word and f-word are used). Other random thoughts - the one white guy looks like Bryan Cranston. I love the line of dialogue "Vigilante justice? It's as American as apple pie". Also, I'm surprised there's no sequels? Why did I think this was a series of movies with this character? 

5. Waiting For Guffman - [blind spot] Man, the loss of Catherine O'Hara really hit hard. I think losing both Diane Keaton and O'Hara in their 70s made me realize that we are going to start losing this generation of women that elder millennials grew up with - our mother figures of movies, and that just reminded me that our own moms are next (my mom is actually a lot younger because she had me as a teenager, but STILL. It's now in the back of my mind that that time is arriving faster than I ever expected). I also BLEW my young co-workers mind when I walked past her talking about O'Hara dying. I stopped in my tracks because I hadn't heard the news and she went "yeah, the mom from Schitt's Creek" and I said "you mean the mom from Home Alone" and her mouth literally dropped open and she went "WAIT THAT'S THE SAME PERSON?". Anyway, this is one of the only Christopher Guest movies that I haven't seen - so I thought I would give it a go after this news hit. Because this is also how I know O'Hara - she will always be mama McCallister, but she's also synonymous with Guest's mockumentary films. I do think I'm going to rewatch them all soon because I don't remember them. I know I really liked Best in Show, but that's all I got. But this is great. I actually liked it way more than I was expecting to. The highlight, for me, is Parker Posey. She's hilarious. Working at "the DQ", and singing that teacher's pet song?? ICON. There's also some really great lines ("He shops at Walmart. He doesn't even support the town" pretty BOLD for a film from 1996. I mean, I'm pretty convinced that the popularity of Walmart led to the destruction of America, and people still shop there! WILD.). The end drags a bit with the actual play being performed - an absolutely terrible play that we didn't need to see. But overall, this is great!

6. La Notte - [rewatch] I definitely watched this before (I'm assuming in my Italian New Wave Cinema class), but I wanted to rewatch this after having recently watched L'Adventurre for the first time a few years back. I didn't realize the connection of this unofficial trilogy (although I probably did learn that back in the day, I just forgot). I love them both, and both have similar themes of marital ennui, I do think I enjoyed L'Adventurre  a bit more - I just like the mystery of it. Monica Vitti is one of the most beautiful women to ever exist, and she doesn't appear in this until 1/2 way in! It definitely needed more Monica Vitti. But overall, this is a beautiful movie and essential viewing for any film fan (like actual film fans who are interested in the history and cultural significance of films). 

7. Cujo - [rewatch] I remember this movie well for some reason, even though I haven't seen it since I was a kid. It's one of those movies that stuck with me, but I also remember that I wasn't scared at all by it, and instead I just felt really, really bad for poor Cujo! I will never be scared of dogs - as a kid, we had a LOT of dogs around us all the time - even the "scary" ones like Pit Bulls. And then as a teenager, my first job was at a dog boarding & grooming place. I just love dogs and they love me. So I watch this movie just feeling bad for this poor dog and wishing someone would help him. But watching this as an adult, I definitely didn't get the often used horror trope of "if you cheat on your spouse, bad things happen" storyline. It's a well-made movie - mostly one location, very tightly edited, and some great shots (the circular tracking shot that happens in the car and then it spins around is SICK!). It's also incredibly brutal and relentless. But still not scary. 

8. The Cutting Edge - [rewatch] TOE PICK!!! One of my favorite films as a teenager - I know that it's not actually a good movie, but it's such a cute romcom with a good positive message about not judging someone by first impressions. And that "Toe pick" line is a classic. I also had a bit of a crush on Moira Kelly as a teenager - she's ADORABLE! I love that she has movie star hair - nobody has movie star hair anymore (except Margaret Qualley). I call it the "Jennifer Aniston effect" - her pin straight hair became such an iconic hair style that everybody is scared of big curls and voluminous hair. Anyway, I enjoy the "opposites attract" love story. It's kind of the similar to Overboard with this snooty, wealthy woman falling for a working-class, sarcastic guy. D.B. Sweeney does this role really well, too. I totally believe him as rough and tough hockey player who has no choice but to suck it up and learn figure skating in order to keep skating. It feels very much like an 80s movies (those montages!), but it's early 90s. Some of the slo-mo ice skating scenes look really awful, but overall, I still enjoy this film a lot 25 years later. Also I screamed when I realized John Lock from Lost is her dad. LOL. 

9. Pulp Fiction - [rewatch] I know I'm a minority in this, especially among film fans my age, but I was never the biggest fan of Pulp Fiction. Out of Tarantino's 9 films, this in my bottom 4 (along with both Kill Bills and The Hateful Eight). And it still lands there after this rewatch, but I did bump it up by a 1/2 star (to 3.5 stars instead of just 3). There's a lot I love about it, but I think the over-acting is annoying (John Travolta, Sam Jackson, Tim Roth, Uma Thurman - take your pick, they're all guilty) and the entire part with Bruce Willis is SO boring. But I get why it's a classic - there are several scenes in the movie that undeniably iconic. The dance scene between Travolta & Thurman, the back & forth dialogue between Travolta & Jackson about a "royale with cheese", etc. I do like the way the story is told out of order, but there's a lot of ideas and it feels disjointed in parts. A lot of scenes feel pointless. It makes me wonder if this same story told chronologically would actually be a better film? I'm sure some nerd has done this edit? I'm definitely curious. Also, obviously the soundtrack is incredible. 

10. Marathon Man - [blind spot] Wow! This movie is great. I don't know how I've never had it on my lists. I saw it listed on TCM and thought "how have I never seen this?". I love Dustin Hoffman so much. Truly one of the best actors of his generation. And was Roy Scheider hot?? The scene with him doing those push-ups??? I was like "OKAY ROY"...haha! I was definitely confused by the beginning - I couldn't figure out what was happening - what does Roy's character do? Who is this French woman? I felt like I missed something, but then they do a good job of streamlining things and then things get *really good*. The bathroom scene is so fucking intense. I almost forgot to breathe. And then the whole dentist torture...eeek! So good. Highly recommend for fans of the spy/thriller genre (especially 70s spy films).