Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Jungle Cruise - I'm not really familiar with the Disney ride (never really been a Disney fan, to be honest - I was much more into Universal Studios and Knott's Berry Farm when I was a kid), but I was hoping for a fun family adventure movie, similar to the reboot of Jumanji (also starring The Rock), but this fell a little flat for me. It's just...okay. And that would be fine if I didn't set my expectations as high as I did. Most reviews called it fun and action-packed, but it definitely drags a lot - a 90 minute version would have been so much better. There is still a lot to like, though. I am all about The Rock doing family adventure movies - this is definitely where he shines. Emily Blunt is delightful (and probably too good for this movie?). And Jesse Plemons as the "bad guy" is absolute perfection. I do not know who Jack Whitehall is, but I looked him up and apparently he is pretty popular in the UK. He is probably the weakest link for me (which is odd because the opposite seems to be true for most reviews that I read). The cast as a whole work really well together, but there's just something so bland about it. Overall, it's just kind of a drag to sit through which is very disappointing. 

2. Red Notice - Probably too many movies starring The Rock out there, but it doesn't seem like he's going away anytime soon, so we just have to go with it at this point. The three leads are likeable enough - I've liked The Rock before, but not always. Same for Ryan Reynolds (I *still* don't understand how he got SO famous SO quickly for just having nice abs). I was more curious about Gal Gadot because I've never seen her in anything outside of Wonder Woman (except whichever Fast & Furious movie she was in that I don't remember at all). Sad to say that she was as dull as watching paint dry. I thought watching this a little tipsy would help, but it's still really boring. And it moves at a snails pace. There really isn't even anything memorable about it either. Reynolds spouts a few mildly amusing one-liners ("does the back of your head look like a huge penis?"), but ultimately it feels like a computer-generated action movie. It just pulls all these clichés together into one movie and unfolds it all as if it's going to surprise the audience. I heard about the Ed Sheeran cameo beforehand (from Netflix's twitter - because apparently they thought that would actually entice more people to watch it? I know he has a fan base - i.e my mother, who describes him as having "the voice of an angel", but I still have no idea who he is or what he sings or why he pops up in movies randomly. But then they played his song and I thought "oooooh that's what he sings??? I actually like that song, my bad" haha!), it was unnecessarily terrible. The most intriguing part of the whole movie is the line "Vin Diesel's audition for Cats...it exists!". WHAT?! Is that real or are they just a dig at Vin?? I need to know! I think it's hilarious that Netflix is pretending like this is their most watched movie...ever. Obviously, it's not, but I'm sure they spent enough money of the leads so they needed that to be true. It's also hilarious that there will most definitely be a sequel. Humanity is doomed. 

3. tick, tick...BOOM! - So, I have a lot of feelings about this movie. Overall, I will say that I liked it very much. But it is for a very specific audience and - I say this in the nicest way possible - but a lot of that "specific audience" is insufferable. Broadway musical geeks / theater nerds to be specific. Technically, I am one of them (Drama Studies major in college, but I was very much an outsider). However, I can tell you from experience that if you aren't a complete narcissist (think Lady Bird), you will be excluded from the club. I think the same thing is happening with film enthusiasts too, but I can't speak from experience as much on that one (I did double major in Drama & Film Studies, but the Film program was new so it wasn't extensive enough to have the true film "experts" in the program). The film works SO WELL for me, because I see so many theater geeks connecting to it saying "this is me!" without even realizing how self-involved and completely frantic it is. It captures not only the essence of Jonathan Larson brilliantly; it also captures a moment in time so...specifically. Rent was the Broadway musical of my generation - I think I saw it at least 5 times in the first few years it came out, and then again not that long ago (I think it was for the 20 year anniversary, maybe?). It's interesting to see Larson's process and what ultimately led him to creating one of the best musicals of all-time. But I do wonder if his feeling of running out of time was pressure from the industry or an actual premonition? And if he knew that it was happening wouldn't he want to spend it with loved ones instead of focusing all his energy on writing? Or is that the point - that he wanted to live on through his work? This obsessive need to leave something permanent in the world; to be remembered - it's all very fascinating to think about (if you're not familiar - Larson died suddenly on the opening night of Rent at the tragically young age of 35). Andrew Garfield is wonderful as Larson - and I had no idea he could sing! I do think that the film, itself, feels a little amateur and not very creative. It's clear that Lin-Manuel Miranda has a personal connection to this story, but it is missing the spark (or BOOM!, if you will). The "Sunday" scene is just spectacular, though. I plan on watching the scene again soon, because it was just so exciting to see these legendary Broadway stars - I feel like I missed some things. I wish the whole film were like this, though. Still definitely one of the best films I've seen this year, which is a lovely surprise. 

4. The Virtuoso - *major spoilers* The biggest mistake this movie makes is relying on a twist that is extremely easy to figure out very early on. It makes the whole film feel sort of pointless. I like Anson Mount a lot, and am sad that he never hit it big (yet!). And I like Abbie Cornish too (now, but I used to hate her). They are both good, but don't really have the chemistry necessary to hold the movie together. Another mistake is the narration - it's a big miss. It's very dry, monotonous and just very flat. It makes it very hard to follow the plot - it's basically just him screaming "white rivers" at everyone (literally). And the most frustrating mistake is that God-awful, embarrassing sex scene. Why must all straight sex scenes be so fucking cringey all the time?? But back to the "twist" because it's actually...really good if it wasn't so obvious. And the reveal of it is really strong - with the replay of a prior scene - showing how it was all pulled off. But here is why I knew it immediately: he says he's staying "at the motel" but never gives his room number and then she just shows up at his room. And he looks and acts like a serial killer, so no woman in their right mind would just go to this strange man's motel room...unless...she's ALSO AN ASSASSIN (dun dun dun!!!). It's just so in-your-face, that it's annoying that the audience has to wait so long for him to figure it out. I like the idea of it being more of an anthology, though. I am actually interested in watching the next "virtuoso" story, but it's a shame that will never happen. 

5. Queenpins - I really, really like Paul Walter Hauser and he's been promoting this movie like crazy, otherwise I probably never would have heard of it. It's...cute, I guess. It's also kind of cheesy (but not quite good enough to be camp). I'm not the biggest fan of Kristen Bell (I liked her in The Good Place, but it wasn't exactly a hard role for her to play); I just find her kind of annoying. BUT I was so excited to see Joel McHale in this (I really, really miss The Soup, you guys). He's definitely not in this enough. The highlights are Hauser - he was literally every LP agent I've ever come across (and I've been in retail for 20 years so I know a LOT of LP agents), and Kirby Howell-Baptiste. I think I laughed the most at her lines, but also that little dance she does in her driveway is adorable. Extreme couponing is actually a hilarious concept - but it just gets a little repetitive. It's fascinating that this is based on a real story (I looked it up - these ladies counterfeited 25 MILLION in coupons. Jesus Christ!). It's also only a 90 minute concept, so there's about 20 minutes of filler (which is why it feels repetitive). I will say that I laughed really hard at two parts - the first is when the cashier is describing Bell and says "she's like 3ft tall" (she is very tiny!), and when they are in the armored vehicle loaded with all the gear to "take down" the criminals and the one guy asks what they were dealing with - "it's two women counterfeiting coupons". The look on his face is just priceless. I would recommend it if you're in the mood for something light and amusing.