Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Migration - This is a very forgettable animated movie, but it's also kind of cute. Fairly harmless entertainment that I think small kids will enjoy. But, also, if I watched this as a kid, I would never eat poultry again. It was pretty hard getting me to eat any meat as a kid anyway, but chicken was always a "maybe" if I was in the mood for it. But there's a whole subplot about a chef who is trying to kill them and COOK them, and I would have been horrified. I'm also still baffled at the casting of Awkwafina for VOICE ROLES?? What the fuck? WHY? She has the worst voice in the world - it's like nails on a chalkboard. Like, just because she has a distinct voice, doesn't mean she has a good voice. I seriously just don't understand the thought process. The animation is good (Illumination animation doesn't bother me as much as Pixar, for the most part), and the rest of the voice cast do a great job (Kumail Nanjiani, Elizabeth Banks, Danny DeVito, etc.). I laughed in a few spots, too - like when the child duck is too shy to poop while in the sky. I like that the story is a family adventure, too, which is sort of rare for animated movies - I feel like too often, the kids have overbearing parents, so they go out on their own adventure and get into trouble, but this is a cute story about family bonding and experiencing the world together. I would love to see that become a trend for kids movies. 

2. Ferrari - *spoilers if you don't already know the true story* I mean, I can't even begin to talk about this movie without bringing up THE scene first. THE SCENE. One of the most harrowing, gruesome scenes I've ever seen on film, and I was not expecting it. I'm completely unfamiliar with the story, so I went into this fairly blind. I do remember the viral q&a that circulated in which an interviewer/audience member told Adam Driver that he thought the crash scenes were "cheesy" (and Driver responded "fuck you, I don't know" LOL. ICONIC). The story definitely eludes to tragedy - and it's quite obvious that things weren't going to work out for the one driver that they focused on the most. I assumed that he crashed. And maybe died. BUT, his tire blowing out and then the car driving through a crowd filled with small children was horrifying. They literally show body parts being thrown in the air and decapitated bodies. I gasped and my hand instinctually covered my mouth in shock. And I sat like that, with my hand over my mouth, in shock, for like 5 minutes before I started manically googling everything about the actual crash - and to my utter devastation, it's all true. Nine people were killed, five of which were children. And I have no idea how someone can describe that scene as "cheesy" - it's not cheesy at all. It felt very realistic and jarring. As for the rest of the film, it's...okay. There's a lot of things that were criticized that I actually don't agree with - like Driver's performance/accent. It's definitely weird that Driver is in another famous Italian role right after the Gucci movie (is he even a little bit Italian? I know he's American, but does he have Italian lineage? I would guess English/Scottish/Nordic, but he doesn't seem Italian at all), but I don't think the accent is as bad as I had read. I've definitely heard worse. He sort of does this mumbly, gravely Italian accent and it works with the character, I think. I'm not even an Adam Driver fan, but I think this is one of his better performances. I'm not really a Michael Mann fan either, but he certainly has a few bangers (although nothing since Heat), and I appreciate that he has a certain film aesthetic that is very distinguished. Penelope Cruz is definitely the highlight - as many critics have pointed out. If this were a stronger film, she surely would have had more awards attention (and she is very believable as this fiery Italian woman). I think the problem is that it's not really about anything. The film starts in what feels like the middle of the story, and the audience is expected to just *know* who all of these people are and their relationship to each other. And then it doesn't really go anywhere. We learn that Ferrari's son died, we learn that he's having an affair that produced another son, and we learn that he's a very competitive man. But it's all sort of background noise without any real point. I also can't really tell where the film stands on Ferrari's responsibility for the crash? He was cleared of manslaughter charges, and the film clearly shows the tire blowing out as if it hits something (as opposed to a faulty tire), but they also show Ferrari pushing his team to be the best. He must feel guilt? Or anger? Or...something? It's just odd to show all this tragedy, but not how it effected him at all. Shailene Woodley is horribly miscast and Jack O'Connell is in WAY too small of a role for this point in his career. And Patrick Dempsey with that hair?? How can I take that seriously? But the scenes between Driver and Cruz are electric, and the scene when his mom tells her "he's entitled to an heir" is heartbreaking - what a horrible thing to say to a grieving mother. 

3. Madame Web - I would love to tell you all that reviews were too harsh, and that this has some redeeming qualities, but unfortunately I can't. And yet it's not the worst movie I've seen this year (I don't know what that says about me, though! Haha!). I do think that Dakota Johnson is INNOCENT. This is not her fault at all. I think she put her trust into the filmmakers and assumed they knew what they were doing. I hated her in the 50 Shades movies, but I have found her really adorable and charming in every other project. And, surprisingly, I really like her in this role - her line delivery is so fucking funny in some parts and I think audiences were too focused on the awfulness surrounding her to get what she was trying to do. So I guess that is one redeeming quality. But the rest of it is all bad. As much as I like Sydney Sweeney, I think this is a big miscast. She's done too many adult roles now to pass as a teenager (and I think this is one of the reasons that Euphoria has been put on hold - they have to fast-forward the timeline. Those kids are all old now!). Plus, the wig is SO BAD, it was hard to look at her. And to my (and I'm sure everyone's) disappointment, they only put her in the Spider-Woman costume (is that who she's supposed to become? Sorry, I don't know the history or future of these characters) for like .5 seconds and it's shown in the trailer. The dialogue is definitely the worst part of the film - as mercilessly made fun of from the trailer. There's this banter between the three young girls that is really painful - it has no energy, rhythm, or authenticity, they literally just spew lines at each other. The famous "he was in the Amazon with my mom when she was researching spiders just before she died" isn't even in the movie, which somehow makes it even funnier. But it's also funny that her mom who was researching spiders in the Amazon has the last name WEBB??? There's also the line "when you take on great power, responsibility will come" LOL (is he Yoda??). The timeline is also completely fucked. I know that it was reported on that they were trying to connect it to Hollands Spider-Man, but they messed up while filming it and couldn't change it, but does it even make sense that Adam Scott is the Uncle Ben??? Like, how on Earth did they think they were going to be able to make that work? I didn't even realize the timeline until they had "Toxic" come on the radio as a newly released song. That places it at 20 years ago - for some reason? Which means her mom was researching spiders in the early 70s? I would have never guessed that. And the villain is stupid - he's trying to kill 3 teenage girls because they might kill him years later? That's the whole premise of the movie? FOR REAL??? 

4. Eileen - This is a rough one to get through. I didn't see many people talk about it so I didn't expect it to be great or anything, but I certainly didn't expect it to be this bad. Everyone is miscast (Shea Whigham excluded because he's good in everything. And *fun fact* he went to my college!). I'm already in the minority in not liking Thomasin McKenzie as an actress. But the thing is, she's young and has a lot of potential, so I'm not completely biased against her - but I do think that she's absolutely miscast here and most things she's been in have been beyond her capabilities. Apparently she watched a whole lot of Marky Mark movies to get into this character and Boston accent. I'm not actually joking, she freely admits that she did this for the role. It is beyond a bad Boston accent, it's practically unwatchable. Then Anne Hathaway comes strolling in with a "mixed" accent - I get the intent because this woman is all show and very performative, so a "fake" accent goes with the character, but it almost sounds like she's not even American. Like, everyone in the movie should be questioning why she's walking around with a fake accent. Every once in a while, at my work, I run into these really rich bored white women who decide they want to do an accent for the day, and I honestly find it to be SO FUCKING WEIRD. I'll start helping them and hear them try an Irish accent or something and I have to walk away and have someone else help them. Anyway, Anne just overdoes everything so having her as this woman who also overdoes everything just feels so inauthentic - it's like cartoonish. And speaking of overdoing things - this fucking actor keeps showing up in everything I watch and I HATE HIM. I finally looked up his name and it's Owen Teague. He's awful in everything I've seen him in and he over-acts. Apparently, he's also in the new Planet of the Apes movie (I only know this because of that viral interview that went around with the dumb tiktok person, and film journalists complaining about them being invited for red carpet interviews). I really need him to go away, though. He's not really in this enough to have any effect on the actual movie, but I was annoyed by the sight of him. The other problem with this movie is that it is boring as fuck! It's described as a "thriller", but not one thrilling thing happens for the entire runtime. I thought it was going to have like a Persona or Single White Female sort of vibe, but it just goes NOWHERE. 

5. Operation Fortune: Ruse de Guerre - I've been really struggling with Guy Ritchie lately (except for The Gentleman tv series! I absolutely loved it! I can't wait for more. And there BETTER be more!). This isn't terrible, but it should have been a lot better. I think it feels more like a parody of a Guy Ritchie movie than an actual Guy Ritchie movie, though. There are some really weird, unnecessary shots that hurt my brain. The plot is a little over-cooked. Most of the dialogue falls flat. Plus, I watched this a little over 2 weeks ago and I'm struggling to remember what the actual ending was. I do think that Aubrey Plaza was a big part of the problem - aside from the lacking chemistry with the others, her line delivery is so weird that it's kind of funny, but I don't think it's supposed to be intentionally funny? And the parts that are supposed to be funny fall flat because she's just so awkward. I've never really liked her in any project outside of Parks & Rec, even though I love her. It's just hard to tell what is bad acting and what is intentional dry humor. And it doesn't work here at all. Even though I appreciate that Ritchie is trying to relaunch Josh Hartnett's career (he was also in Wrath of Man), he's bad here (also, another *fun fact* he also went to my college). The saving grace is Jason Statham, as per. He just does these roles so well, and I think he's able to work around the bad acting surrounding him by just being his awesome self. I also love Hugh Grant's shift to these super eccentric roles - he's become more of a character actor in his later career and I am HERE FOR IT. I also really like the other guy in the group - he plays of off The Stath very well, so I just looked up his name and it's....wait for it....BUGZY MALONE. What a fucking stage name LOL. I can't. He's a musician/actor from the UK, but I'm telling you right now, he will not be taken seriously in American with that name (I'm joking obvi, we have famous people named Ice Spice and Doja Cat). There are a few scenes that they do really well together, and I would definitely watch a spin-off of them or a sequel with them, but only them. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Anyone But You -  I'm not the biggest fan of rom-coms, but I'll always give them a chance, and hope for the best because sometimes they are genuinely good. Especially rom-coms that are based on Shakespeare plays - 10 Things I Hate About You is a perfect example!! So, this is a modern day "Much Ado About Nothing", starring major It Girl, Sydney Sweeney, and major Cutie Pie, Glen Powell, and I honestly expected to love it. Unfortunately, I didn't. It's not terrible, but just very average. I don't really see the chemistry between Sweeney and Powell, either, so that's a big negative. They also bicker the entire time and that becomes grating (I know that's part of the Shakespeare play, but I just find it so hard to watch people argue being used as a comedic device). I've really enjoyed Sweeney in almost everything I've seen her in (The White Lotus, Reality, The Voyeurs, Nocturne, even Euphoria - even though I don't like her character), but I think her line delivery is really off here - and it's not really the comedy part because I know she can be funny (her character in The White Lotus is really funny in a very sarcastic way and she nails it). There is a scene that we get a glimpse of a more genuine performance, when Glen Powell has to rip all of his clothes off in the matter of seconds, she starts laughing and it's like a millisecond of her being real, and I just wish she brought that for the whole movie. Can you even imagine not thinking she's pretty, though? I mean, does that producer woman who talked shit about her even have eyes? It's just a common case of a woman being jealous of a much younger, more beautiful woman. I'll never understand it. There's also a way to critique someone without full on lying. Anyway, the film is just filled with really dumb, obvious moments (like the Titanic scene - obviously she's going to fall in and he's going to jump in to rescue her. I also questioned the bad wig that her sister wears, so I assumed something happens to her hair, and YUP it catches on fire). Also, imagine making your entire guestlist fly 22 hours to attend your wedding? What entitled assholes! It's not all bad though. Powell is definitely the highlight. Now he was made for stuff like this. He's hot, charming, non-threatening, and has really good comedic timing (he was my favorite part of Scream Queens, and I think that was before anyone knew who he was!). There are also a few genuine laugh-out-loud moments. But the BEST part was, by far, the after-credits scene with them all singing the most annoying song in the world during different scenes of the movie. It's SO GOOD. It almost made me bump this 2.5 star movie to 3 stars. Almost. 

2. Miller's Girl - WOW. This is genuinely a bad movie. Zero redeeming qualities. There have been plenty of stories like this, whether it's a relationship between an older man and a teenager or student/teacher thing, it's all been done before, so it's weird that this is pretending to be, like, taboo or something? I mean, it's gross, but not surprising or shocking in any way. If you want a taste of how bad it is, the main character's name is "Cairo Sweet". Seriously. I love Jenna Ortega (A LOT), but this is embarrassing. I couldn't even figure out what accent they were all attempting - obviously Southern, but I looked it up and it's supposed to be Tennessee. I can't tell you if it's accurate or not, but I can, for sure, tell you that none of these accents felt natural coming out of any of these actors mouths. And I'm SO disappointed because the friend is, somehow, even worse than Ortega, so I looked up who she was (she seemed vaguely familiar), and it's Pamela Adlon's daughter! I loved her in Blockers, so I'm not going to hold this against her. But neither of these girls feel like real people, and I don't even understand what their motivations are or why they do the dumb things they do. It almost seems like they are hustling, but then they...aren't? It's just written really poorly, so I don't fully blame the actors. Again, if you're curious just how inauthentic these characters are, the teacher (played by Martin Freeman) has his wife listed in his phone as..."wife". UHHH WHAT? Who would do that? I get putting your mom in as "mom" because that's what you call her...you pick up the phone and say "hi mom", but you don't pick up the phone for your wife and say "hi wife". And the teacher is amazed that this student knows who Henry Miller is, as if he's an obscure writer??? I think she's supposed to be in college - they clarify that she's definitely 18, which could be either college or high school. Actually now that I think about it, there is a scene where they are at lockers, so maybe it's high school? But either way, Miller is a very famous person (banned for a lot of schools, but perhaps even more famous because of being banned). It's so stupid! But using Miller as a reference is even more embarrassing for this film because it's so sexually tame and dull, Miller would have, surely, not wanted his name attached to this. 

3. The Stranger (2024) - I'm surprised that I never really saw anyone mention this movie - a 90 minute horror movie, STARRING a well-loved, scream-queen Maika Monroe and Dane DeHaan. I saw it pop up on Hulu and instantly pressed play. And it's good! Not great, but definitely a solid, interesting, original horror movie with great acting and a terrific ending. Apparently it was made in 2020 as a 10 part series for Quibi, but they turned it into a movie instead. It definitely works as a movie, I don't feel like there is enough story here to make a whole series out of. I like that it just starts the story right away with very little build-up. Monroe is a rideshare driver who picks up an unhinged passenger, and things go awry very quickly. First, I'm so old-school when it comes to things like Uber, because I would 100% prefer to take a taxi. I almost always feel uncomfortable in Ubers because (1) the drivers tend to talk to you and I hate it. I don't want to make small talk with a stranger. And there's a difference between a quick pleasant exchange, and continually trying to talk and (2) they are terrible drivers! Anyone with a driver's license can be an Uber driver, and unfortunately, it's very easy to get a license (as you can see by the amount of accidents on the road every day). It's bad enough that I have to be on the road with terrible drivers, but I don't want to be in the car with a terrible driver! Anyway, I can't imagine ever thinking being a rideshare driver, as a woman, would be worth the money. To put yourself alone with strange men over and over again, is a WILD choice (I would rather drive a bear around *winks*). Anyway, the film does spiral a little out of control and becomes really unrealistic (*spoiler* how on Earth does he sneak a kidnapped victim into a police station without anyone noticing? Yes, they explain it, but it's still ridiculous). I think the whole anti-technology aspect is a little over done, too. Like, yes, it is definitely easier to track and stalk people nowadays, but there are definitely still ways to disappear. I think I still forgive it, though, because I like what it's trying to do. I like that the main character is sort of an unreliable narrator (they hint at a background of a mental illness, and also a past event that feels eerily similar - so the audience questions not only her sanity but her character). Maika is great, and DeHaan goes full psychopath fairly realistically. I think it's definitely worth a watch. 

4. LOLA (2022) - I have to clarify which movie I'm talking about, by adding the year, because apparently there is another movie titled Lola released this year on Netflix (which this one is listed as 2022, but not released until 2023). I haven't seen many people talking about this film, either, which is surprising because it's very interesting. It's sort of like The Man in the High Castle - or actually, it really reminded me of that show that NOBODY else watched called Counterpart with JK Simmons (which is SO GOOD!). The plot is different, but still sort of "alternate universe" type story, that can play out in many different ways. This story takes place right before WWII, and is about these two women who build a machine that can intercept future radio broadcasts, so they are able to change the course of history (both politically and musically). They become national heroes by warning of upcoming attacks - seemingly saving the country, but things don't go as expected. I think this part of the story is the less interesting part, because this alternate WWII thing has been done before, but I really like the way they involve music and entertainment - and how it's essential and ingrained into our culture. Her singing "You Really Got Me", before the song was released, is a GREAT scene, but it gets even better that the entire world seems to embrace the song and it becomes an anthem for victory - even replacing the "we can do it" quote on the Rosie the Riveter posters. There's also a great scene where she gets upset because they realize that the changes they made to history erase David Bowie ("there will be somebody else as extraordinary as David Bowie!!" LIES! There's also a funny Letterboxd review about how the cost for the rights to Bowie's songs probably took up 90% of the budget. I don't feel like finding it again, but it made me laugh and is probably true! I mean, the Bowie biopic couldn't even afford the rights to his music! HAHA). Stefanie Martini and Emma Appleton are both great, and also really hot (new crushes, perhaps?). And I think the use of found footage elements are done really well. I like the ending and that it goes to unexpected places. It's also only 80 minutes long, so it never outstays its welcome. Highly recommend! 

5. The Idea of You - TWO rom-coms in one post!!! We are definitely seeing a resurgence. And surprisingly, I liked this a little more than Anyone But You. Maybe because it's a little more cute and whimsical (as opposed to all the constant bickering), but probably because Anne Hathaway is so damn charming. She's perfect for roles like this. I think she's the closest actress of my generation that can hold the moniker "America's Sweetheart" (usually reserved for actresses of the previous generation like Meg Ryan, Julia Roberts, & Sandra Bullock). But I also think that it's a little ridiculous that we're supposed to think she's the "lucky" one in this situation. Like, the whole story is about this 40 something mom who suddenly finds herself dating a 20 something pop star, and we're supposed to feel like she won the lottery, but....he's dating someone who looks like ANNE HATHAWAY, so clearly HE is the lucky one in this situation. It would have made more sense if they had a more normal looking actress in this role. I'm not sure if this was actually based on someone's fanfiction (I heard that, but didn't look into it), but the story is actually terrible for a multitude of reasons. First, obviously it is a popular fantasy to be in a relationship with a famous pop star, but it should be a young person fantasy. I feel like once you hit a certain age, ideas like that go away and you should start to look at life a little more realistically, otherwise you're setting yourself up for a very disappointing later life. But that's not happening anymore - stan culture has taken over and obsession with celebrities is lasting well into the minds of women in their 50s (internet sensation Club Chalamet (Chamalet) is a perfect example). And I say women, because I think it's is largely women that have this fascination. I think it's normal to have favorite celebrities, crushes, etc., but it's the true obsession that I'm referring to. Where people become delusional into thinking that this story could happen to them. Second, the reality of being with a pop star, as shown in this film, is not as glamourous as one would imagine. I would absolutely hate it. I like my privacy way too much, and the idea of someone judging everything I do, say, wear, etc., would make me want to kill myself. But, again, this has become normalized and also self-inflicting, by social media, because people post every little part of their day for engagement and attention, and then get upset when the internet isn't kind to them. And third, and this is going to come off a little ageist, but I think it's extremely selfish for a woman in her 40s (one who already has an almost adult child and doesn't want more kids) to pursue a relationship with a man in his 20s. Like, hook up, for sure, but a relationship? Having him fall in love with you? I would be so worried that he would want children, and I would never want to take that option away from someone. It's the biggest reason that I dated my husband for 6 years before agreeing to marriage, because I was nervous he would change his mind and want kids (he's 7 years younger than me). But, he's still adamant that it's not what he wants - and I feel like making that decision when he's 34 was more rationally thought out than when he was 28. And last, as a woman in her 40s, I imagine that a 24 year old pop star would be terrible in bed (sorry, not sorry). Anyway, those are my thoughts on this story, but again, I still found myself entertained. Hathaway has never looked better - and I've never been more jealous of someone my age. And the thing is, she looks super hot but she also looks her age (she could pass for younger, definitely), but she's just super cool, chic, and just naturally gorgeous. I'm not really familiar with the guy in this - but people talk about him all the time on my twitter feed as if he's super hot, and I just don't see it. Apparently he was in the most recent Cinderella remake and I was not a fan (I wrote "I don't know the actor that plays the prince, but he's not hot, can't sing, and is so unmemorable that if you showed me a picture of him I highly doubt I would recognize him"). He's fine in this, but I think Hathaway is definitely pulling most of the weight. The ending is a little weak (first, I have no idea why SHE is apologizing to him, other than the fact that women apologize for everything even if they aren't at fault). It should have just ended with them not together, even though I realize that's not the norm for a "romantic" movie, but I would have liked it better if they both moved on to more suitable partners and had their "happily ever after" separately. It's also too long. Romcoms should be 90-100 minutes tops, and this is just shy of 2 hours. It's totally unnecessary. OH AND how dare they use Fiona's "Paper Bag" in this setting??? It's my second favorite song of all-time, so I love hearing it in a movie, BUT - the song is about being too much of a mess to let someone love you "these hands are too shaky to hold" etc. There is the quick line "I thought he was a man but he was just a little boy", but that's about how men don't grow up mentally or emotionally as fast as women do, not AN ACTUAL AGE issue. LOL). 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. The Regime - I liked this show, for the most part, but from what I've read, I might be in the minority on that. I understand the criticism but I think it's just being misunderstood. I think more were expecting a political satire in the same vein as Veep, and this never really hits those notes at all. I appreciate that it tries to do something a bit different - it's obvious political satire, but it also tells a somewhat unbelievable truth about how people come in to power and how they are able to abuse this power. The first two episodes are definitely weird because it's hard to figure out exactly what it's trying to say and it all seems a bit ludicrous. But once I got into the groove of it, and took it for face-value as a play on many famous political figures like Margaret Thatcher, Queen Elizabeth and the Romanovs (with Matthias Shoenaerts clearly playing a Rasputin type character), I started to really enjoy it. It never goes the expected route, and therefore is consistently oddly interesting. Shoenaerts is incredible in this role. Winslet, on the other hand, is very Kate Winslet. I find her to be one of the most inconsistent A-list actresses, and those inconsistencies often exist within the same project. Similar to how her Boston accent dips in and out throughout Mare of Easttown, here she attempts a weird lisp-slash-lip droop, but only sometimes. It's really heavy during certain scenes and then barely noticeable in others. It's like she got too tired to keep it up and hoped that nobody would notice (BUT I DO!). I still love her and have since Heavenly Creatures, but I don't think she's as great of an actress as the awards praise suggests. The character, though, is very good - she creates this eccentric, cold-hearted, disconnected from reality character that somehow I still felt a little bit sorry for. Andrea Riseborough is severely underused, and I wish her story arc was a larger focus in the series. It's also got some funny stuff - when the kids ask questions and she says "I knew I smelt something" (perfect line delivery) and the whole scene with the portrait he does of her and her reaction to it is hilarious. I just really enjoy how high stakes it becomes in the end and was definitely entertained for its entirety. 

2. Under the Bridge - Yet another true crime series that everyone is claiming is "incredible", but I don't really see anything that stands out from every other true crime series about a murdered teenager. I like Riley Keough, and this performance might push her into Emmy territory, but that's probably the only really positive thing I can say about it. OH WAIT, actually the best performance in the show is Archie Panjabi - she has a few standout moments from the show that really hit. I really want to like Lily Gladstone, but so far, I'm not impressed (with her acting). I thought she was very one-note in KotFM, and I don't even remember her in Certain Women. She is lifeless in this - I have not seen a single emotion occur on her face. I honestly find it creepy. I'm also just not sure that this story needs to be told. This girl, who was brutally murdered by her peers, also lied about her own father molesting her just because she wanted to fit in with her new friends. With it being so difficult for victims of abuse to be believed, I find these stories (while based on a true story) unnecessary to tell in this current environment. Obviously, I have sympathy for this girl (and more so for her family), and she didn't deserve to die for her lies, but there are plenty of similar stories to be told that don't involve a young girl lying about abuse. I also find the romance really forced - are they supposed to have chemistry??? It's hard to watch. There's still two more episodes for me to watch, but so far, I'm just not really impressed and I feel like it's missing a lot of things that can make it more interesting. Like, we don't really know who these characters are aside from in relation to this mystery. Keough's character mentions her brother dying and she obviously has a lot of PTSD from that and a disconnect from her family, but it would have benefitted from exploring this more instead of showing the teen girls being bitchy teens for the 100th time. And her trying to connect with them, is grating - no teens would hang out with a 34 year old woman; especially rebellious teens. I mean, she's the same age that my mom was when I was 16. 

3. Ripley - Just like with Under the Bridge, I find the hyperbole for this a bit eye-rolling. There's a lot I like about it, but it becomes SO boring. It was hard to get through 8 episodes of this. I will say that it is probably the most well-made television show of the year. Stunningly beautiful shots galore. Obviously inspired by classic Hollywood films, Hitchcock, and Italian neo-realism, it's a love letter to films, even though it's a series. I'm not usually a fan of modern productions using black & white cinematography, but this is the exception. There are just so many moments that I sat at awe at how beautiful it is - the scene in which he's trying to get rid of the boat, in particular, is just excellent, from the sound, to the pace of it, to the blocking. I also really like the shots of the Italian newspaper that fade into the English translation that become a big part of the latter episodes. I guess my disappointment is largely with the cast. I just think the whole thing is completely miscast especially compared to the original film. The Talented Mr. Ripley is definitely among my favorite movies, but I also read the book last year and was surprised at how much depth and story is built into this universe that can be explored. I appreciate that this is an adaption from the book that feels very different than the film. If you're going to remake something, it needs to feel completely different, otherwise what's the point? But, I don't think Andrew Scott has even a tenth of the charm that Matt Damon had for this role, and that is a HUGE aspect of his character. It's the reason that he was able to grift so well. And Jude Law as Dickie Greenleaf is one of the hottest men in cinematic history. He oozes sex and intrigue, and we (the audience) completely understood why Ripley becomes obsessed with him and his life. I'm interested in Johnny Flynn's career because he's always completely different in every role (sometimes becoming unrecognizable) and I respect that. But, he's certainly no Jude Law at peak Jude Law (peak Jude Law was from 1997 to 2006). Dakota Fanning is fine in this role, I guess. I think Gwen was the weak link casting of the film, so Fanning is a slight step up, but I still see her as a child so it's a hard adjustment, personally. But perhaps one of the worst casting decisions I've ever witnessed IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, is the role of Freddie Miles for this series. Like, I'm not exaggerating, it's a hate crime. In the book and the movie, Miles is a larger than life character - THE life of the party and played to perfection by the late great Philip Seymour Hoffman. He was also, somewhat of a threatening presence for Ripley. I understand that they wanted to go in a different direction, but the direction they chose is baffling. I think you have to watch it to understand *just* how bad it is, but I think the biggest problem is that this person can't act. I didn't know who they were, but they seemed familiar so I looked it up - and it's Sting's child (and they look just like him). They are also non-binary. Good for them. But it just doesn't work for this character. I couldn't help but see this person trying so hard to come off as masculine, with this terrible haircut, and bad line delivery. They also look like a child, so certainly not a threatening presence at all for Ripley. I honestly feel bad for whomever decided they were right for this role. It's like setting someone up to fail. Anyway. I also found myself not paying attention to whole chunks of the series because I already know the story so well. It feels like it drags a bit and gets repetitive, so I would have probably enjoyed a 5 or 6 episode version better than the 8 episodes. 

4. Fallout - I've only watched the first three episodes, so far, so I don't have a whole lot to say yet (it's difficult to get my husband to watch stuff. Even stuff he likes!). As someone who has never played the game nor is familiar with the story, they do a wonderful job of making it completely accessible. But, I also have my husband (a big fan of the game) answering my many questions. And my first question was "UHHHH are they all inbred????". I was definitely not expecting that to be part of this plot (nor was I expecting that to be part of the plot of this hugely popular video game series???). I liked the first episode well enough. It reminded me a lot of the Westworld series (which Jonathon Nolan also created). I like the main cast - the girl from Yellowjackets, who reminds me of a young American version of Marion Cotillard, is, once again, fantastic. Walton Goggins always brings everything to every role, and is one of those actors that everybody loves. And the other guy, who I don't recognize from anything, is also strong (I'm being lazy again, I don't feel like looking up names). He also resembles Denzel Washington more than Denzel's own son! The soundtrack is also a major highlight - and feels really different for a show like this. But the next two episodes sort of have me doubting it as a series. It's starting to remind me of other shows like The Walking Dead and The Last of Us and I'm sort of over it. There's just nothing that has really hooked me yet. But I did start shouting out types of shrimp when I saw the guy who plays Bubba in Forrest Gump in a small scene. My husband was like "what's happening, what are you doing?", "IT'S BUBBA!" and then he joined me and we spent like 5 minutes naming types of shrimp. Poor guy. I'm sure he probably still gets people yelling types of shrimp at him. It's like when I met the guy who plays Fun Bobby on Friends when I worked in LA, and he said he wished he never did the role because people yell "Fun Bobby" at him every single day of his life and he had a hard time getting other acting gigs because of it. Anyway, I'm sidetracked, again. I do like this show, but so far, it's all just very expected. Unless it really starts to shock me, it's probably going to be a chore for me to watch the rest. 

5. Baby Reindeer - I did not know what to expect with this - I just kept hearing everyone talk about this crazy new Netflix show about a stalker, oddly titled Baby Reindeer. It was everywhere, so I added it to my list AND moved it to the top (pushing Sugar with COLIN FARRELL - don't worry, I will be watching with my next round of new shows!). It is, indeed, worth the hype. I watched it all in the span of two days. I think the biggest success of this is the representation of the imperfect victim. There are so many stories of abuse, rape, etc., in which we question how anyone could possibly get themselves into that situation, and I think this story tries to grapple with this question. The psychology of the victim that is explored here is done so well, because victims of violence often blame themselves so much so that a history of self-loathing and self-destruction is created (often leading to more abuse as either a victim again, or a perpetrator). They let this hatred of themselves consume them until there's nothing of their previous self left. And I think a lot of stories are too scared to go there. It's just too complicated of a narrative to get right. The only way to make it successful is to tell it from experience, and that's what this story is. Comedian Richard Gadd tells his story with deeply raw honesty and bravery. We don't get many stories about male victims of sexual violence (unless it's set in a prison), and Gadd has taken a really strong first step. The fourth episode, that reveals this part of his past, is such an incredible showcase of the intricacies of sexual abuse and how it fucks with your head in such nonsensical ways. There is also an exercise in perspective that's happening to - because we obviously only see his perspective, and as the victim, I don't feel like we see that often (I feel like stories now try really hard to show the abuser side as well- either a psychological inquiry, or as a push for the victim's narrative). Not that we don't see some insight into his stalker - we do, but it's still all from his perspective and his own research into her past. It's certainly not an easy watch, nor is it ever black & white. There is an empathy shown for his stalker, which is how he finds himself in the situation to begin with. I do have a few critiques (because of course I do!). I think it gets a little repetitive, especially with the constant narrating. There is something to be said with "show, don't tell", and I usually don't like having a narrator as a device, but it does work here. There's just a little too much of it. And, while the monologue that he does is heartbreaking, it's also unnecessary to show the whole thing - we just watched the entire story and now we have to hear him repeat it back to us?? That's it though, otherwise it's a pretty perfect show.

Movie Marathon: The Alien Movies

1. Alien - This is a rare 5 star movie. It's a masterpiece, and surprisingly, I didn't always feel this way. But this is one of those times, when I'm more objective in my rating, because even though I think it's a 5 star movie, I probably wouldn't list it in my favorite films, some of which I've rated lower (like Ocean's Eleven is rated 4.5 stars, for me, but I personally LOVE IT). That's not to say that I don't love this movie, because I do, because technically speaking - it's perfect. I used to have it rated 3.5 stars, but now that I've reevaluated it, I just can't deny that it should be 5 stars. And it really hasn't been topped, as far as alien movies go. It just starts off so strong, too - straight from the amazing title card to the first scene that shows the audience the layout of the ship. Just the design of the alien, the build-up of suspense, the iconic burst through the stomach, the android that is so perfectly human-like, etc. It's so faaaar ahead of its time - with one of the strongest & boldest female characters ever to grace the screen. Plus the two women and black characters out-survive their white male counterparts!! Sigourney Weaver just crushes this role too - and she's so sexy. I feel like she made white bikini style underwear, like, the hottest thing a woman can wear. It's sexier than lingerie (I said what I said). She just became such an icon and a blueprint for so many future female characters. 

2. Aliens - I know that there is a huge fanbase that thinks this sequel is better than the original, but there's just no way! There's a lot I like about it, for sure. I like that it switches up the genre, that the story feels like an organic evolution of the original and of Ripley's future, Bill Paxton was the fucking BEST, it's more quotable ("Game over, man. Game over." and "They mostly come out at night...mostly." are BACK TO BACK DIALOGUE!!), and this mother/daughter relationship that is formed between Ripley and Newt gives the story more heart (sidenote: the girl who plays Newt is such a strong little actress, I'm surprised that she didn't continue acting, but apparently she quit acting and became a school teacher!). But, I also think it's kind of stupid how everyone thinks it's a big fucking joke when people literally died and others might be dead. And she doesn't instantly assume that there's another "Ash" (an android)? That's just stupid! There aren't any real big shocks or reveals that I didn't already feel coming. It's still really, really good; just not a masterpiece like its predecessor. 

3. Alien 3 - There's a lot of hate for this third entry into the franchise, for good reason. I've only watched it once before (as a trilogy - sometime in the late 90s, when I was in high school, I watched Alien, Aliens, and Alien 3 each for the first time all at once as a marathon), and I remember being SO angry at this one. It's just insane that they start the story by killing off Newt, after Ripley worked so hard to protect her. It sort of negates the whole point of Aliens, and it changes Ripley into an unrecognizable character. The whole story becomes about her giving up and wanting to die. How did they think that was something an audience would want to see? It's also very ugly and yellow, but not a lot of people want to admit that because they are up Fincher's ass. Not everything he does is gold - in fact, he has more mediocre films than good ones (fight me!). After this rewatch, though, I didn't hate it as much as I did the first time. On its own, it's still an entertaining film, with a great cast, and some cool sci-fi designs. It's just a hard fall from the first two. 

4. Alien: Resurrection - And speaking of falls, this one goes right off of a cliff! This is actually, I think, my first watch of this. I vaguely remember Winona Ryder, and some scenes seemed familiar, but I think it's because I caught it on tv a few times, but only watched snippets (I'M OLD! This is a thing we used to do! We would turn on the tv and just watch whatever was on! Crazy times). And speaking of Ryder, she is awful in this. I don't always think she's a great actress, but I love her anyway (although I think it's just a product of being miscast a lot. She's great in a handful of things). It's also weird that she has acted with both actors who played Hellboy. What a coinkydink! The dialogue is even worse, though ("who do I have to fuck to get off this boat?" Actual line from this movie). It's just all around disappointing, but I can't give it less than 2.5 stars just because it's still a good sci-fi story. The entire franchise is solid as a whole, with ups and downs but never falls into actually a bad film (if that makes sense). 

5. Prometheus - I am far from a Prometheus hater. In fact, I love it. My third favorite in the franchise (should I start ranking with these posts? I didn't think of that before, because I typically hate ranking things. It causes me a lot of anxiety and stress. But for kicks, this would be: Alien, Aliens, Prometheus, Covenant, Alien 3, Resurrection). I was super excited to watch this again because I've only seen it once (you can read my thoughts on it here: https://michelle-alwaysacritic.blogspot.com/2012/06/3-thoughts-on-prometheus.html - I can't believe I've been writing aimlessly on this blog for that long!). It has some flaws, for sure, but I love the overall message and the world-building. Also, I watched Prometheus, originally, without having a strong memory of the Alien franchise, but after watching them all together so closely, I think this is even stronger as an entry and sort of reboot, if you will. I feel very similarly about the film, as I originally did, so I don't want to repeat myself. But one thing that I only touched on in my initial assessment is the cast - just absolutely perfect casting. First, with Michael Fassbender as the new version of Ash (now David), but also with super believable bad-ass women - Charlize Theron & Noomi Rapace. Plus, Trey Atwood (always and forever), Idris Elba and Guy Pearce! I think it's biggest flaw is not utilizing the rest of these actors in an interesting way. That, and the pace of the film is waaaaay off. There's only one really intense scene, but on a rewatch it's actually a little laughable (the robot surgery machine scene - the way it grabs at her like it's one of those arcade games where you win stuffed animals made me giggle). So, sadly, I actually did downgrade my original 4 star rating. I still really love the idea behind it, but the flaws become more apparent on a rewatch and it was actually a bit dull to sit through. 

6. Alien: Covenant - I liked this originally. It's got a lot of the same flaws as Prometheus, but I rated it 3 stars (original thoughts here: https://michelle-alwaysacritic.blogspot.com/2017/08/thoughts-on-5-films.html), and I still think it's a solid 3 star movie. Fassbender continues this role flawlessly here - even playing two versions of the same character (it's really brilliant, and probably the biggest reason to see this movie). Everyone else is really dull, even though I like the actors. The dialogue is *cringy* ("I'll do the fingering". LOL THEY HAD TO KNOW WHAT THEY WERE DOING WITH THAT LINE). I think the pace is slightly better than Prometheus, though, and it has some genuinely intense scenes that are closer to the rest of the Alien franchise. I just think it catered a little too much to the criticism of Prometheus, instead of continuing the theories presented, they tried to answer too much and cover so-called plot-holes that didn't even exist in the first place (even going back to the Alien bit in the title feels like fan-service to me). Overall though, what a franchise! Just incredible. I look forward to the next chapter. 

Film Retrospective Part II: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-1980)

1. Cabaret (1972) - [blind spot] I've seen the Alan Cummings one (the filmed stage version) and I've seen a live production (possibly on Broadway? or maybe it was an off-Broadway? Or possibly even a local theater production? I don't really remember. I really wish I saw the Emma Stone one though. Huge regret!). I've somehow never seen this one though, so I was excited to watch it! "Maybe This Time" is one of my all-time favorite theater songs - and I listen to the Minnelli version of that and "Cabaret" regularly because she has one of my favorite voices. I also sang "Cabaret" in show choir when I was like 14, which I now realize was a bit risqué (surprised parents didn't stop this?? Times were different in the mid 90s). Anyway, Bob Fosse is a genius - just really knows the value of stage production and choreography. You can see why Liza became such an icon with this - and I love that this really showcased her talent. I know there's been a lot of talk about nepobabies recently, but it's been happening in Hollywood since the beginning of time, and it's not necessarily a bad thing! I'm not sure why the nepobabies get so offended by being called a nepobaby? Liza Minnelli is the epitome of nepobaby and nobody denies that she was extremely talented and a natural born SUPER STAR! On a sidenote - I still think Krysta Rodriguez did an incredible job portraying her in Halstead and she should have gotten crazy awards hype for it. 

2. Young and Innocent - [rewatch] A lesser-known Hitchcock, but I remember liking this one. I'm not so sure after a rewatch. It's very boring, but it does have some amusing moments (like when she's like "I'm SURE he was there" and then he goes "he was in India", and then she changes instantly "Oh, well then he wasn't there". It's a great bit of dialogue and they nail it). It's obviously outdated - complete with a scene featuring an entire band in blackface. I forgot it existed, but it's obviously uncomfortable to watch. I'm not bothered by movies made in the past that aren't up to today's politically correct standards, but this is definitely jarring. Anyway, other than that, it's a very forgettable Hitch. 

3. The African Queen - [blind spot] I love a good old action adventure romance film, so not sure why I haven't seen this - it feels like the blueprint for so many films that came after (Romancing the Stone, etc). I don't think I ever realized exactly what it was about, and I assumed it was more of a historical drama; I also thought it was one of those 3+ hour historical dramas, which is why it kept getting moved lower down the list. I was, obviously, very wrong. It's actually a perfect length for this type of film, but it also still drags in the middle so it feels longer than it is. Katherine Hepburn is incredible in this (her excitement after they go over the first rapids is so infectious!), but I also really like that this is a really different role for Humphrey Bogart (and he won an Oscar for it!). I had a lot of fun with this - they have great chemistry and their banter is entertaining and funny instead of being annoying like I find most bickering couples. 

4. Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore - [blind spot] If I didn't already know that this was a Scorsese film, I never would have guessed it. It's SO different for him - first and foremost, Scorsese rarely tells women's stories (some might use that as criticism, but to be clear, I definitely don't. I think people should tell the stories they want to tell and that they feel like they can tell well. And a lot of men don't know how to tell women's stories so they...shouldn't). That's not to say that some of his films haven't feature incredible female characters and actresses (and so many of his supporting actresses have been Oscar nominated! Jodie Foster, Lorraine Bracco, Juliette Lewis, Winona Ryder, Cate Blanchett - the list is incredible! Plus Vera Farmiga in The Departed is one of my favorite supporting actress performances ever). This story is about a single mom who leaves a dangerous situation with a man she's involved with (he's married, abusive towards her wife, and then threatens her and her child). The road trip she takes with her son to find a new home brought back memories (but actually not necessarily bad ones - I remember when my mom escaped my dad and we traveled cross-country from California to New York, we cranked the music up, and sang, and danced, and laughed a lot. "Walk Like an Egyptian" was a big hit in our car). She struggles to find work as a singer, so she becomes a waitress at....MEL'S DINER!!! I had NO IDEA that the tv series, Alice, was a spin-off of this movie!! That's insane! I only realized it when I saw Mel (and he's the same actor in the show), and I thought "wow it's weird that he starred in this as Mel who runs a diner, and then he went and did a tv show as Mel who runs a diner". And then I thought it was weirder that the title character is Alice in both...and then I googled it because those are two coincidences that are likely not coincidences! Anyway, like the show, this has fast-paced, witty, and smart dialogue and Ellen Burstyn knocks it out of the park (although I'm surprised she won the Oscar over Gina Rowlands and Faye Dunaway. What an incredible year for actresses!). Also, love the use of Dolly Parton's "I Will Always Love You" - I'm a big Whitney fan, but I adore Parton's original version of this song too. 

5. Don't Look Now - [rewatch] This is my third viewing of this film within the last decade or so, and I thought this might be the one that made me push my 4 1/2 star rating to a 5 star perfect movie rating. It's just so close to a perfect movie, but I think I just can't connect to the supernatural/religious aspect. As a psychological exploration of grief, PTSD, and how loss effects marriages, etc., I think it's incredible. It also has, perhaps, one of the greatest straight sex scenes in film history. And since this is a hot topic within the film community, I want to focus on why this is done so well. Because I think a big part of the backlash towards sex scenes in films come from a place of necessity (as in...the sex scenes aren't necessary for the story), and I think that in a lot of cases that's true! Sex and nudity became overused and thrown in for effect, and a lot of times the audience is left unsatisfied. But this is so beautifully done because of the lead up - we see them suffer a huge loss, we see them love and console each other, and we see their quiet intimacy before we see the sex. And then the sex scene is filmed entirely differently - focusing on a raw sexual intimacy, sweaty body parts, etc., yet never feels exploitative; instead it deepens their connection to each other. I just think it's really stunning, and very important to the story being told. I also want to say that even though I don't connect to supernatural stuff, I do connect to stories about intuition and find them fascinating (especially concerning parents and their children) - and they definitely touch on that feeling in the beginning when they run towards their child without even knowing something is wrong. As a related side story, my mom's perspective of me getting hit by a car is that she was in the shower and then suddenly an overwhelming sensation came over her that something was wrong with me, so she jumped out and got dressed, and ran towards the door. My uncle was living with us at the time and said "what's wrong??", and she said "It's Michelle, something happened to Michelle". He ran out the door with her, very confused, and they were confronted with a crowd of people running towards our house to tell my mom that I was just hit by a car. He was flabbergasted by it. Maybe she heard the car screech to a stop or people in the distance yelling, but neither her nor my uncle remember hearing anything. She says that she "just knew". It's kind of creepy to think about. Anyway, I love this movie a lot. Maybe one day I'll go for the 5 stars. 

6. Murder on the Orient Express (1974) - [blind spot] I've seen the remake of this, and I remember being confused by the plot but obviously already knowing the ending (since it's such a famous ending), and then I read the novel, for the first time, a few years ago and it all made much more sense to me. I didn't really have much interest in watching the 70s one until someone pointed out that it's directed by Sidney Lumet! I had no idea. I also was not expecting the accents to be just as wild as the new one. I admit that I was definitely expecting more from this. But nothing about it really stood out to me - aside from the stunning cast (Vanessa Redgrave, Ingrid Bergman, Anthony Perkins, Lauren Bacall(!!!)), although ruined by Albert Finney in the lead role (I did not like this casting at all). There's some really beautiful music in the beginning that seemed very familiar (a bit like the music from Phantom of the Opera?). But I think I actually prefer Branagh's version? It's not great, but it's extremely beautiful and filmed really well. This just fell a little flat, for me. 

7. The Sting - [blind spot] Doing this whole retrospective thing, that I started last year, now has me realizing just HOW MANY blind spots I have with classic/well-loved films. But that's exactly why I'm doing this - it's forcing me to watch something other than a constant barrage of terrible new releases. I liked this movie a lot. And I'm not surprised in the least to see that it won 7 Oscars, including Picture, Screenplay, Cinematography, and Costume Design (which is why I looked up the Oscars - I just *knew* it had to win Costume especially since it's Edith Head - who was THE costume designer from the 50s, and well into the 70s. She did a lot of Hitchcock films as well as Roman Holiday, Sunset Boulevard, Funny Face to name a few). The costumes are incredible - and I think that's hard to make stand-out with men's fashion. There's a great little gender-reversed makeover scene, which is totally unexpected for a film like this. There's a great score too (also won an Oscar). Robert Redford and Paul Newman are great (as expected), and the story moves in really surprising ways (I literally sat mouth agape when they shoot the waitress in the head!). It's fantastic and I can see how a lot of films have copied it (or, you know, have been "inspired" by it). 

8. Ocean's 11 (1960) - [blind spot] I'm so annoyed that I tried to watch this in January along with my Ocean's marathon, and I couldn't find it streaming anywhere, and then suddenly I'm searching Max's "last chance" streaming movies (movies that are leaving the service) and it's listed! What was it streaming for like a month before being removed? I'm glad I found it before it disappeared again, but that's definitely the biggest problem with streaming. It was never a problem for me until Netflix discontinued discs, because anytime I couldn't find a movie on streaming I would just add it to my Netflix disc queue and receive it in the mail within 2 days! Now I constantly have to search for things and wait for things to randomly appear. I hate it. ANYWAY. This is a rare case in which the remake is MILES better than the original. The remake is one of my all-time favorite movies (possibly in the top 20 - I've never actually made a list because it's too daunting). This just doesn't hit the same - their banter is also really dull compared to how entertaining the 2001 one is. And there is some weird editing - the NYE scene, in particular, with it cutting to each of them but the song is playing in different parts??? It makes it feel so...choppy. The highlight is Sammy Davis Jr. - what a talent. I could listen to him sing for days on end. Also, Mr. Roper is in this!! I don't think I've ever seen him in anything else aside from Three's Company (but I LOVED that show so much growing up!). Overall, though, a big disappointment. 

9. Sleeping Beauty - [rewatch] Stunningly beautiful animation - definitely among my all-time favorite animated movies. I don't think I've seen this since I was a small child, but I always adored Aurora (more so than any other of the early Disney princesses). I somehow don't remember the whole prearranged marriage part though (LOL). I'm surprised that they haven't made this into a live-action movie like all the others (instead they made one that focuses on the villain, Maleficent, which I actually enjoyed), but GUESS WHAT? Someone did make it into a live-action movie and that someone is CASPER VAN DIEN. Apparently he directed Sleeping Beauty (2014) starring his own daughter (for real! look it up!). Anyway, I think it's funny that the first aspect of her "dream man" is "tall" - it was so engrained in our brains as girls that "tall" is important when finding a male partner, which is SO WEIRD. I've also been told (as someone who is only 5ft), that I'm genetically predisposed to be attracted to tall men in order for my potential children to (theoretically) be taller. I do prefer tall guys, but when it's all said and done, it's not actually important (see my top two male celebrity crushes: James McAvoy (5'7") and Taron Egerton (who calls himself 5'10", but is listed on the internet as 5'9" HAHA!)). My husband is 6ft tall and my favorite thing to do is to tell him that he's not tall enough for me (I'M SO MEAN, but his reaction is really funny - he will literally list out statistics of average men's heights). Anyway, I'm on a tangent, but it's related because we learned so much about beauty standards from Disney movies as kids, and I think it's interesting that it's not just standards for women's appearances. 

10. The Omen (1976) - [rewatch] As I mentioned with my post on The Exorcist, I always get that, this, and Poltergeist confused. I'm not sure why (supernatural horrors based around children, released in the 70s/early 80s, I guess?). I wasn't even sure if I had seen this before because I get them so mixed up, but as soon as I started watching it, I definitely remembered it. Sadly, I didn't get the same reevaluation that I did with The Exorcist - that went from a 3 star movie in my mind to almost a masterpiece at 4.5 stars. I still liked a lot about this, though. Gregory Peck is one of the best, and I love his voice so much. It's so distinct and soothing. The story is really strong (possibly stronger than The Exorcist), but it never quite hooks me. Probably because it just feels so cliched now, with the evil devil child being a major trope in the horror genre. At least the kid is a really good actor (who apparently went to jail for assault a few years back), but I don't know - aside from one shocking scene, nothing else about it really stands out for me. Also, maybe don't name your child Damien???? 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Bob Marley: One Love - Unfortunately, this post will not be fun to write because all five of these movies really sucked. And I mean SUCKED (at least 3 of them will be on my worst of 2024 list - and Wish doesn't even count for this year). Some were expected, but some were not. I still like to watch everything, even if it's supposed to suck, because every once in a while something surprises me, and also I like to decide for myself if something is bad and I can't do that...IF I HAVEN'T WATCHED IT! I was hoping for the best with this because I really like Kingsley Ben-Adir. Plus, I saw the trailer (before The Beekeeper) and it looked incredible (the trailer is WAY better than the movie). But then my mom and her husband went to see it and said it was terrible, which is a BIG red flag because they are not picky people as far as movies go (they always tell me bad movies are good!) and my mom's husband is a HUGE Bob Marley fan. So, if a huge fan says this is bad, then I question who this film is made for? I think a few things are a big miss with this - and unfortunately, the big reason I wanted to see it, Ben-Adir, should never have been cast in the first place. While he does his best with the accent, and the songs (he sings along with Marley tracks and they combined the voices - similar to Malek singing Queen songs in Bohemian Rhapsody), this is a case in which they absolutely should have found a Jamaican actor. When a famous person is so ingrained in a culture, and it is so important to their own identity then YES, you should cast to that identity (why is Hollywood still getting this wrong?). I also think it's very clear that Kingsley is wearing a wig for the dreadlocks, and it just looks fake and very distracting. They also start the film at a weird point - just a few brief scenes before his attempted assassination. It's a major turning point in his life, and the reason that he leaves Jamaica and his music becomes an international sensation, but it's jarring to start the story there. Also, I don't know why, but I actually thought that's how Marley died?! I was confused because I thought - wait was there an attempted assassination before the one that killed him? I had NO IDEA he died of fucking SKIN CANCER?! WOW. Anyway, the story-telling and editing is just bad overall, because random scenes pop up and seem very important, but there was nothing leading us to these scenes - like the sudden outburst with his wife? They seem very happy and loving, and then *boom* they are fighting in the street. I also think that biopics tend to idolize their subject matter instead of showing their flaws and humanizing them - which is one of the reasons that I like Rocketman so much. Elton is fearless in showing that he's a gigantic narcissistic asshole and treated people around him like shit, and he had to hit rock bottom to come to this realization before he turned his life around. I would love if more biopics followed suit. 

2. Wish - I honestly don't even understand what the plot of this movie is??? They give their wish to the king and he's trying to steal them so this girl is trying to get them back? For what? What's the point in having them back? The whole concept is just stupid and confusing. I also hate this style of animation - especially since I've recently revisited older Disney movies that have STUNNING animation (especially Sleeping Beauty  - every scene looks like a painting!). This just feels flat and over-saturated with color. As much as I don't like Ariana DeBose as an actress, I won't deny that she has an incredible voice (I would much prefer she sticks to voice acting and Broadway. She probably kills on Broadway - definitely has one of those voices with power behind it. I just think she lacks a screen presence. But she has an Oscar, so what do I know!), so at least the songs sound very pretty even if they are forgettable the second the movie is over. I also think Chris Pine has a great voice for animation, even if I prefer they start going back to using actual voice actors for animated movies. The movie just feels rushed and soul-less, like it was put together by a computer. I don't think kids will necessarily notice this, but I do think it's important to make animated films tolerable for an adult audience because they'll be more willing to endure the repeated viewing that kids tend to do with their new favorite animated movie (and, more importantly, buy all the products attached to it!).

3. Spaceman (2024) - This might be the most boring movie featuring a giant talking alien spider-like creature that I've ever seen. It's actually shocking how boring it is. It's like if you took The Tree of Life, set it in space, and somehow made it even slower. I'm pretty sure the score was made to try to put people to sleep. And I think The Tree of Life is a fair comparison because it certainly attempts at something profound, but just never quite gets there. Some stunning shots, but that's just not enough to make a good movie. I've never been a big fan of Adam Sandler post Big Daddy, but I did agree with most critics that he was robbed of an Oscar nomination for Uncut Gems (still not the most egregious snub of 2020, though. AHEM). I don't dislike him, though, I just find most of his comedy one-note. He seems like a super chill guy, though. I've heard a lot of good things about people running into him in NYC and he's always super gracious and kind towards fans. I was excited for another different role for him, but the second he speaks in this I wanted to slam my head against a wall. The accent is unbearable. And googling information about the accent is WILD because the director of the film claims to hate "fake accents" so he decided against it for this film, but SANDLER IS CLEARLY ATTEMPTING A CZECH ACCENT SO WHAT THE FUCK IS HE TALKING ABOUT?? Plus, the reviews are even WILDER because some point out the "inconsistency" of the accent (true!), but I read one that said that it's so subtle that they "didn't even notice it in the beginning". I'm FLABBERGASTED. Do they not know what Adam Sandler sounds like normally? Because he certainly doesn't sound like that. ANYWAY, Carey Mulligan does her sad face through the whole thing, as per. The whole film is based around him being away in space and his wife deciding to leave him. He realizes the errors of his ways or whatever, some stupid lesson on how love is the most important thing blah blah blah, and it's just all crap, in my opinion. There are very few excuses that I think are acceptable for missing the birth of your child and being in space is definitely one of them. So the whole plot is null and void, in my opinion. 

4. Drive-Away Dolls - I know this got mixed reviews (although critics were on the more positive side than general audiences), but I definitely thought I was going to like this. A lesbian buddy road trip comedy STARRING Margaret Qualley AND Geraldine Viswanathan, DIRECTED by Ethan Coen set in 1999???!!! How could I not like it?? WELL, LET ME TELL YOU: Qualley's accent, for starters, is...unwatchable. It's somehow worse than Rachel Zegler's Hunger Games accent! The "comedy" is non-existent. I guess it's supposed to be raunchy or something, but it just feels like it's trying too hard. And raunchy without comedy, just feels...embarrassing. Like, I felt embarrassed for all involved. Nothing about it feels authentic, and these definitely don't feel like real people. It also feels like it's trying so hard to be a Coen film (which is weird because it technically is). The set-up is kind of funny, and can make for a wacky, shenanigan-filled road trip comedy, so I don't know exactly why they messed this up so badly. Qualley & Viswanathan have great chemistry and comedic timing - but the characters are so off-putting and one-note. But the worst offender is Beanie Feldstein as the least believable police officer put on film. It's unbearable. I was convinced that I wouldn't see a worse movie this year, but then I watched Miller's Girl this week (Jesus Christ is it bad. How are these movies getting funding? I don't get it.). The only plus is a few surprise cameos (although I feel like we can assume that Matt Damon will pop up in every movie. He's just always there. Do your thing Matt Damon, I'm not complaining!). 

5. Rebel Moon - Part Two: The Scargiver - SOMEHOW, this movie is the better movie in this post! Still awful, but, at least there's some solid visuals and production design. This story should never have been split into 2 parts - there's just not enough story to watch more than FOUR hours of it. And somehow, even with all the time given, I still have no idea who any of these characters are - they are actually given some backstories with this, but they literally sit around a table and tell each other their "stories". The worst way to create character depth ever. I don't even really remember much about the first film and it was only released like 4 months ago (I do remember Hunnam's Northern Irish accent because it's hilarious. I actually wish he was in this one because I was completely entertained by him). I do remember it was terrible, and that it made my worst of the year list. You might wonder why I even bothered watching this one, but I truly can't help it. I'm a completist. It's who I am, and I've accepted it. I still watch Grey's Anatomy and that's on season 20 and it hasn't been good since season 10! My husband is like "you know you can just stop watching it, right?", but that's not true. I simply can't do that! Anyway, the only thing I can say about this is that it's not worse than the first one - they are about the same. The slo-mo is a little more extreme (and just stupid). Also, the flashbacks don't make sense if you make the character look older in the flashback?? Weird choice. That bowl buzz-cut is also a choice (a terrible one). I'm guessing the rebels win because they all cheer at the end, but I definitely did not watch the entire battle sequence. I gave up by that point. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Road House (2024) - Soooo....unmemorable?? I don't even remember watching this and it was only 3 weeks ago (I'm a little behind on my blog!). My notes aren't much of a help either because the only thing I wrote was a sentence referencing the dialogue about Cuban coffee (the bartender person says something about how Cuban coffee is very different than coffee and it's very true! My father-in-law is Cuban and the coffee he drinks basically tastes like mud). I don't really remember if I've seen the original - I'm pretty sure I have, but I was probably 13ish and it was definitely only once, so I don't think I'm expected to remember it, surely? I do remember just how famous Patrick Swayze was at this time (Dirty Dancing, Road House, and Ghost triple threat). I don't feel like it's a sacred movie that shouldn't be touched - an updated version could work, but this just falls flat. I like the people involved - I've always been a big Liman fan, plus Jake Gyllenhaal, Jessica Williams & JD Pardo (LOVE him). But I don't buy Jake in this role at all - I don't care how ripped he gets, he's still a big ole' puppy dog. I'm really not sure why anyone would think casting Connor McGregor in a film was a good idea, and it's also proof that the so-called "woke" Hollywood doesn't exist. If you're not familiar with his legal troubles, Rolling Stone has a detailed article of his timeline of arrests (A TIMELINE - not even just, like, once or twice, it's a dozen or so arrests and charges). It's just really disappointing, but not surprising. 

2. Lisa Frankenstein - I can confidently say that if I was 14 years old, I would LOVE this movie. It's dark and funny, with teen humor that *just* sits at that line of adulthood. It's very smartly written, which isn't surprising since it's Diablo Cody. I wasn't aware that Zelda Williams (Robin's daughter) was continuing in the film biz, but that's super cool. This is a good feature debut (she has other films under her belt apparently, but none I've ever heard of). As an adult, I still had fun with this (I laughed quite a few times - the "Damnit, Janet" joke and the Pabst joke - both of which probably went over every teenager's head). I think it's a little too derivative (it's like if you mashed Warm Bodies, Edward Scissorhands, Jennifer's Body, and Heathers into one movie). I also think it's a little confused on the story it's trying to tell and the characterization of the main girl changes from scene to scene, which is a writing/directing problem because Newton is doing her best. I like her a lot - I wasn't a fan of her in Ant-Man, but she's nailed everything else. Her "I Can't Fight This Feeling Scene" scene in this is such a strong representation of who she is as an actress - she obviously can't sing, but she goes for it anyway and makes it fun. I just feel like this character doesn't feel like a real person - there's no consistency to her character that a director is supposed to...direct. I also think this is kind of embarrassing for Cole Sprouse - he doesn't even really have any dialogue (it's just an interesting contrast from what his former co-star Charles Melton is doing - being in Oscar nominated films and such). I do think this was presented to him as an early Johnny Depp type role (see Edward Scissorhands or Benny & Joon), so I get why he took it, but he's not early Johnny Depp so this is...*eeek*. I do think it's funny that I told my husband I was going to watch this and he said "oh is that about the pen lady?", as in Lisa Frank, who was super popular during this time period for making pens, notebooks, etc. for teenage girls. And then I looked it up and apparently a lot of people thought there was a connection to this movie, to the point where Cody had to make a statement that the name of the movie is not in relation to Lisa Frank. LOL. 

3. The Iron Claw - The hype for this movie was inescapable, and I don't really understand why. It's a very good story, with some decent acting performances (I've been SAYING Zac Efron is a good actor waaaaay before everyone else jumped on this bandwagon!). But, objectively, the actual film is very average - nothing about it puts it in the "award-worthy" category, so the apparent snubs are warranted. I think people tend to get confused by their own personal enjoyment of a story. And this is an incredible story because it's SO UNREAL how this family suffered so much tragedy. I'm not really familiar with the story (I don't follow wrestling at all), but I read a little about it when the film trailer was released last year. It reminds me of the Carter family (Nick Carter has lost THREE of his four siblings in the span of a decade!). It's not hard to make a movie out of this story - it sort of writes itself. However, the reason I'm not really that impressed with the movie is that the pacing is WAAAY off. Nothing happens for the entire first hour - and none of these people are interesting enough to watch for a FULL HOUR. I also know that stories like this take certain liberties to make the story more interesting and/or move quicker, but combining two of the brothers into one is very disrespectful in my opinion. It also leaves out that the family are born-again Christians - which is why the father is the way he is (with the attitude of "what will be, will be" because God wants it that way. I'm sorry, but born-agains are fucking lunatics. My mom's sister is one and when I was a teenager I asked her if she would sponsor me for a Diabetes walk that I was doing and she said no because if someone has Diabetes it's because God wants them to suffer. I said my best friend was born with Diabetes and she said "she must be suffering the sins of her parents". I'll never forget it. My mom told me - in front of her - that I never had to speak to her again, and I never have. LOL.). The father is obviously seen as the "villain" of the story - emotionally abusive, controlling, but they never really explain why he's like that so it's a bit frustrating. It just feels like they needed someone to blame for the tragedies, instead of telling the truth (adults are responsible for their own decisions!). There is also nothing really cinematic about it, aside from a few well-done emotional beats. I do worry about how Efron got his body to look like that - it has to be steroids and it just can't be worth risking your health like that for a movie role. I also feel bad that everyone went so hard on him for the physical changes in his face, assuming he had plastic surgery only to find out it was from a facial injury. I admit, I thought the same, but I also wonder why with all of his money, he didn't get a better plastic surgeon - clearly something went wrong? It's very sad. Anyway, Efron is good here. So is Jeremy Allen White (and as an aside - I've been a fan since Shameless, but I get aggravated when actors get super popular and are suddenly cast in everything even if they are not right for the role and, I'm sorry, but casting him as Bruce Springsteen is WILD. I hate it.). But the highlight is my sunshine, Lily James (AND HOW DARE THEY IMPLY THAT SHE'S UGLY! "look how pretty she looks when she puts some effort into it" is the dumbest quote from a movie I've ever heard). And the lowlight is, you guessed it, Harris Dickinson (stop putting him in stuff! He has ZERO personality or screen presence. I don't understand!). 

4. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes - I was actually under the impression that this movie was good, but...uh....it's definitely not. I surprisingly really liked The Hunger Games movies. All of them. I wasn't expecting to, but I found them very enjoyable and interesting. I was IN for a prequel - especially starring New Jersey's own Rachel Zegler. But, this was terrible. I rated it 2.5 stars, because it's well-made - the production quality is top-notch. But everything else about it made it almost unwatchable so I'm considering lowering my rating. First, Rachel's accent is SO HARD to listen to. And when she sings with it, I wanted to die. The twang??? GIRL YOU ARE FROM NJ! Second, it's very inaccessible - I have a terrible memory, as you may already know. So I know I liked all the Hunger Games movies, but I don't necessarily remember them - so I found this very confusing. They just jump right into the games, but I thought it would have more of an origin story. Third, Rachel and this guy (Tom Blyth - I'm not familiar with him), have ZERO chemistry. The film never does a good job at showing that they are in love until they suddenly just ARE. It's just so boring, and I don't understand the mostly good reviews for it! It's obvious as to how he is going to save her because the foreshadowing is insane (and IN THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE!). Even the costumes suck! Rachel wears an Anthropologie skirt for the whole film (I'm pretty sure, they just dyed it multi-color); not exactly wow-worthy. And whoever did that to Viola Davis needs to be fired. The only good thing I have to say about this is that I really like Hunter Schafer - I don't necessarily think she's a good actress (and she's awful in Euphoria), but I just really like her. I read that recent article about how she's tired of being seen as a "trans actress" and doesn't want to be known for that, which is a pretty rare thing for someone of her generation to say. But I think all of the identity politics is what is causing such a division. I think she has a lot of potential to be part of the A-list as just an actress, and that should be very inspiring for a lot of people. 

5. Night Swim - And speaking of stupid, I can't believe they made a movie about a haunted swimming pool. Literally. It's a pool. And it's haunted. LOL. I actually liked the opening scene with the little girl, because I definitely remember being a little scared of a dark pool at night when I was a kid (I was somehow scared of a shark getting in??? It's ridiculous, but I was scared of sharks when I was little but only because when I was swimming off of my uncle's boat in the middle of the ocean and my cousin started calling me to come back to the boat and I didn't listen and then he said there was a shark so I swam back as fast as I could. And he made it a big joke about how I swam so fast, but he never told me if he was lying about there being a shark! He still claimed for years that there was a shark near me! I had nightmares about sharks for years! I'm not sure how I thought they would end up in a pool though. LOL). But then it just goes full stupid. There's a whole baseball subplot, about how he hurt himself and somehow the pool is going to heal him but kill everyone else (I think?). It's also very boring - they tease the audience a lot but nothing really happens until towards the end. There are also some very weird cuts (like when it's suddenly pouring rain and he's screaming "the pool is the best thing that's every happened to me"). It has a great cast, which is sort of depressing because why is Oscar-nominated Kerry Condon in a b-rate horror film??? And Wyatt Russell is on a career upswing with the Apple TV+ Godzilla show. They are completely wasted here. 

3 Thoughts on Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire

1. The Franchise - You guys, you know what I realized recently? I don't think I've ever seen Ghostbusters 2!! It was on tv, and the part I saw did not seem familiar at all. It makes sense because I never really held the Ghostbusters movies as, like, a childhood memory - I don't even think I saw the first one as a child. I'm pretty sure I was an adult (although I'm sure I saw scenes because I knew who all the characters were...maybe I did see it as a kid, I don't know). I think that's really rare for a child in the 80s, but it just wasn't my thing. And I've never really liked Bill Murray (sorry, EVERYONE, he seems like an asshole. A miserable asshole. I don't find him funny at all). I think the 2016 "all female" one was pretty pointless and stupid (but will be burned in my memory for Chris Hemsworth's lensless glasses. It's too funny). But, I actually really liked Afterlife. It definitely surprised me, and I thought the cast had such great chemistry together. I was excited for the franchise to continue. I thought it was super cool that it reinvigorated an almost 40 year old franchise. Unfortunately, this one feels like it killed any remaining excitement. It's not terrible, but just very average. I came away from the theater feeling disappointed, and the more I thought about it, the more I dislike it. 

2. Ghost Girl and Company - The two biggest mistakes this entry makes is (1) trying to cram a million and one characters into a two hour movie. Please take a second to just look at how insane that poster is (it's Marvel-level insane) - and the even weirder part is that one of the major side characters (Melody aka Ghost Girl) isn't even featured on it. AND McKenna Grace is...the STAR of the movie so she should be bigger. Like, the main family should be equally sized and centered and then everyone else should be small or eliminated all together, and that's true for the movie too. Carrie Coon is completely sidelined (it almost feels like she didn't even want to be in this?). I probably could have done without the original cast altogether (maybe a cameo here and there, but they several old cast members who had whole scenes!). And I don't even remember any of the side characters from Afterlife, so it's weird to bring them into this setting as if they were beloved characters. I think the only two important other characters (aside from the family) are Melody and Kumail Nanjiani's character (who also provided some much needed comic relief - never quite laugh out loud funny, but amusing nonetheless). It's obvious from her introduction that Melody is going to be important in the end. I would have liked her story more if they actually went for the story they hint at - as in - just let Phoebe be gay. It's extremely implied that there is more than a platonic connection with Melody - but it's never explicitly stated. It's such a cop out, and extremely irritating. Which brings me to (2) why did they make Phoebe the most annoying teenage girl on the planet? She was so funny and interesting in the first movie, but here she is UNBEARABLE. The whole plot with her being sidelined because she's too young is SO DUMB. But her attitude about it is even dumber. I wanted her dumb dad jokes, her quirky fun-facts, and her adorable winks! It's WHO SHE IS! 

3. The Rest - Overall, this is just...not a good movie. It's boring, badly paced, over-stuffed, and non-sensical. Like, why would they deem ghostbusting as too dangerous for a teenager, but her walking into an empty park in NYC in THE DARK *screams* BY HERSELF is somehow okay??? I wouldn't even walk into an empty park in the dark in NYC by myself and I'm 42. There is some good stuff - the effects are done really well, especially the scene in which Patience and Fortitude come to life. And the frozen stuff is done really well - I like how it's genuinely scary with the ice spikes tearing up through the ground. If it were funnier, I probably could forgive a lot of the faults, but I laughed a total of ONE time in its two hour runtime (when he tells the library researcher "he's already dead" as a joke - perfect comedic delivery). BUT, my husband liked it - and he's a big fan of the franchise. He, like me, loved Afterlife, so he actually insisted we see this in the theater (a true rarity!), and he left happy, so what do I know?