Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Road House (2024) - Soooo....unmemorable?? I don't even remember watching this and it was only 3 weeks ago (I'm a little behind on my blog!). My notes aren't much of a help either because the only thing I wrote was a sentence referencing the dialogue about Cuban coffee (the bartender person says something about how Cuban coffee is very different than coffee and it's very true! My father-in-law is Cuban and the coffee he drinks basically tastes like mud). I don't really remember if I've seen the original - I'm pretty sure I have, but I was probably 13ish and it was definitely only once, so I don't think I'm expected to remember it, surely? I do remember just how famous Patrick Swayze was at this time (Dirty Dancing, Road House, and Ghost triple threat). I don't feel like it's a sacred movie that shouldn't be touched - an updated version could work, but this just falls flat. I like the people involved - I've always been a big Liman fan, plus Jake Gyllenhaal, Jessica Williams & JD Pardo (LOVE him). But I don't buy Jake in this role at all - I don't care how ripped he gets, he's still a big ole' puppy dog. I'm really not sure why anyone would think casting Connor McGregor in a film was a good idea, and it's also proof that the so-called "woke" Hollywood doesn't exist. If you're not familiar with his legal troubles, Rolling Stone has a detailed article of his timeline of arrests (A TIMELINE - not even just, like, once or twice, it's a dozen or so arrests and charges). It's just really disappointing, but not surprising. 

2. Lisa Frankenstein - I can confidently say that if I was 14 years old, I would LOVE this movie. It's dark and funny, with teen humor that *just* sits at that line of adulthood. It's very smartly written, which isn't surprising since it's Diablo Cody. I wasn't aware that Zelda Williams (Robin's daughter) was continuing in the film biz, but that's super cool. This is a good feature debut (she has other films under her belt apparently, but none I've ever heard of). As an adult, I still had fun with this (I laughed quite a few times - the "Damnit, Janet" joke and the Pabst joke - both of which probably went over every teenager's head). I think it's a little too derivative (it's like if you mashed Warm Bodies, Edward Scissorhands, Jennifer's Body, and Heathers into one movie). I also think it's a little confused on the story it's trying to tell and the characterization of the main girl changes from scene to scene, which is a writing/directing problem because Newton is doing her best. I like her a lot - I wasn't a fan of her in Ant-Man, but she's nailed everything else. Her "I Can't Fight This Feeling Scene" scene in this is such a strong representation of who she is as an actress - she obviously can't sing, but she goes for it anyway and makes it fun. I just feel like this character doesn't feel like a real person - there's no consistency to her character that a director is supposed to...direct. I also think this is kind of embarrassing for Cole Sprouse - he doesn't even really have any dialogue (it's just an interesting contrast from what his former co-star Charles Melton is doing - being in Oscar nominated films and such). I do think this was presented to him as an early Johnny Depp type role (see Edward Scissorhands or Benny & Joon), so I get why he took it, but he's not early Johnny Depp so this is...*eeek*. I do think it's funny that I told my husband I was going to watch this and he said "oh is that about the pen lady?", as in Lisa Frank, who was super popular during this time period for making pens, notebooks, etc. for teenage girls. And then I looked it up and apparently a lot of people thought there was a connection to this movie, to the point where Cody had to make a statement that the name of the movie is not in relation to Lisa Frank. LOL. 

3. The Iron Claw - The hype for this movie was inescapable, and I don't really understand why. It's a very good story, with some decent acting performances (I've been SAYING Zac Efron is a good actor waaaaay before everyone else jumped on this bandwagon!). But, objectively, the actual film is very average - nothing about it puts it in the "award-worthy" category, so the apparent snubs are warranted. I think people tend to get confused by their own personal enjoyment of a story. And this is an incredible story because it's SO UNREAL how this family suffered so much tragedy. I'm not really familiar with the story (I don't follow wrestling at all), but I read a little about it when the film trailer was released last year. It reminds me of the Carter family (Nick Carter has lost THREE of his four siblings in the span of a decade!). It's not hard to make a movie out of this story - it sort of writes itself. However, the reason I'm not really that impressed with the movie is that the pacing is WAAAY off. Nothing happens for the entire first hour - and none of these people are interesting enough to watch for a FULL HOUR. I also know that stories like this take certain liberties to make the story more interesting and/or move quicker, but combining two of the brothers into one is very disrespectful in my opinion. It also leaves out that the family are born-again Christians - which is why the father is the way he is (with the attitude of "what will be, will be" because God wants it that way. I'm sorry, but born-agains are fucking lunatics. My mom's sister is one and when I was a teenager I asked her if she would sponsor me for a Diabetes walk that I was doing and she said no because if someone has Diabetes it's because God wants them to suffer. I said my best friend was born with Diabetes and she said "she must be suffering the sins of her parents". I'll never forget it. My mom told me - in front of her - that I never had to speak to her again, and I never have. LOL.). The father is obviously seen as the "villain" of the story - emotionally abusive, controlling, but they never really explain why he's like that so it's a bit frustrating. It just feels like they needed someone to blame for the tragedies, instead of telling the truth (adults are responsible for their own decisions!). There is also nothing really cinematic about it, aside from a few well-done emotional beats. I do worry about how Efron got his body to look like that - it has to be steroids and it just can't be worth risking your health like that for a movie role. I also feel bad that everyone went so hard on him for the physical changes in his face, assuming he had plastic surgery only to find out it was from a facial injury. I admit, I thought the same, but I also wonder why with all of his money, he didn't get a better plastic surgeon - clearly something went wrong? It's very sad. Anyway, Efron is good here. So is Jeremy Allen White (and as an aside - I've been a fan since Shameless, but I get aggravated when actors get super popular and are suddenly cast in everything even if they are not right for the role and, I'm sorry, but casting him as Bruce Springsteen is WILD. I hate it.). But the highlight is my sunshine, Lily James (AND HOW DARE THEY IMPLY THAT SHE'S UGLY! "look how pretty she looks when she puts some effort into it" is the dumbest quote from a movie I've ever heard). And the lowlight is, you guessed it, Harris Dickinson (stop putting him in stuff! He has ZERO personality or screen presence. I don't understand!). 

4. The Hunger Games: The Ballad of Songbirds & Snakes - I was actually under the impression that this movie was good, but...uh....it's definitely not. I surprisingly really liked The Hunger Games movies. All of them. I wasn't expecting to, but I found them very enjoyable and interesting. I was IN for a prequel - especially starring New Jersey's own Rachel Zegler. But, this was terrible. I rated it 2.5 stars, because it's well-made - the production quality is top-notch. But everything else about it made it almost unwatchable so I'm considering lowering my rating. First, Rachel's accent is SO HARD to listen to. And when she sings with it, I wanted to die. The twang??? GIRL YOU ARE FROM NJ! Second, it's very inaccessible - I have a terrible memory, as you may already know. So I know I liked all the Hunger Games movies, but I don't necessarily remember them - so I found this very confusing. They just jump right into the games, but I thought it would have more of an origin story. Third, Rachel and this guy (Tom Blyth - I'm not familiar with him), have ZERO chemistry. The film never does a good job at showing that they are in love until they suddenly just ARE. It's just so boring, and I don't understand the mostly good reviews for it! It's obvious as to how he is going to save her because the foreshadowing is insane (and IN THE TITLE OF THE MOVIE!). Even the costumes suck! Rachel wears an Anthropologie skirt for the whole film (I'm pretty sure, they just dyed it multi-color); not exactly wow-worthy. And whoever did that to Viola Davis needs to be fired. The only good thing I have to say about this is that I really like Hunter Schafer - I don't necessarily think she's a good actress (and she's awful in Euphoria), but I just really like her. I read that recent article about how she's tired of being seen as a "trans actress" and doesn't want to be known for that, which is a pretty rare thing for someone of her generation to say. But I think all of the identity politics is what is causing such a division. I think she has a lot of potential to be part of the A-list as just an actress, and that should be very inspiring for a lot of people. 

5. Night Swim - And speaking of stupid, I can't believe they made a movie about a haunted swimming pool. Literally. It's a pool. And it's haunted. LOL. I actually liked the opening scene with the little girl, because I definitely remember being a little scared of a dark pool at night when I was a kid (I was somehow scared of a shark getting in??? It's ridiculous, but I was scared of sharks when I was little but only because when I was swimming off of my uncle's boat in the middle of the ocean and my cousin started calling me to come back to the boat and I didn't listen and then he said there was a shark so I swam back as fast as I could. And he made it a big joke about how I swam so fast, but he never told me if he was lying about there being a shark! He still claimed for years that there was a shark near me! I had nightmares about sharks for years! I'm not sure how I thought they would end up in a pool though. LOL). But then it just goes full stupid. There's a whole baseball subplot, about how he hurt himself and somehow the pool is going to heal him but kill everyone else (I think?). It's also very boring - they tease the audience a lot but nothing really happens until towards the end. There are also some very weird cuts (like when it's suddenly pouring rain and he's screaming "the pool is the best thing that's every happened to me"). It has a great cast, which is sort of depressing because why is Oscar-nominated Kerry Condon in a b-rate horror film??? And Wyatt Russell is on a career upswing with the Apple TV+ Godzilla show. They are completely wasted here.