Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. A League of Their Own - I really, really wish that I liked this. I know a lot of people do. Specifically, the LGBTQ+ community seem to really dig it. I can understand why; there is great representation of the community and it hits on the discrimination and violence that existed (and still does), while also showing just simple, pure queer joy. It's just...not a very good show, in my opinion. The original movie is one of my favorite movies of all-time (probably in my Top 20!). I love it so much. And the cast is just fucking perfect - Geena Davis, Lori Petty, Rosie O'Donnell, Madonna, Tom Hanks, etc. I think that's where this show fails - the cast is largely dull. I've been told SO MANY times to watch Broad City, but I've put it off because I don't like Llana Glazer (as an actress; I don't know much about her as a person), but now I realize I also don't like Abbi Jacobson. So, I'm pretty sure that I won't like Broad City...right?? (again, I'm talking about as an actress. But a quick google on Jacobson tells me that she's engaged to Jodi Balfour from For All Mankind!!! I love her! Happy for both of them.). I just think Jacobson is so incredibly boring here - there is just no screen presence, and since she's the lead role, the whole show just becomes soooo dull. It also doesn't feel very genuine. I don't really know how to describe it properly, but they all look like they are playing dress up for Halloween. The only one who fits (at least on team Peaches) is D'Arcy Carden. The clearly best part of the show are the scenes with Chante Adams and Gbemisola Ikumelo. They have great chemistry as BFFs and they are both ADORABLE. Adams looks identical to Nia Long (I googled to see if they were related - they are not, but they did play mother and daughter in a film together so I'm clearly not the only one who sees the resemblance). There are some other good things - the wonderful Nick Offerman shows up (for like 2 seconds), same with Patrick J. Adams. I also love the Rosie cameo. I'm hopeful they get some other cameos for season 2 (yes, I will still watch a season 2 even though I don't love it. I'm invested now). 

2. The Terminal List - I think if you like the Amazon version of Jack Ryan and/or Netflix's The Punisher series, then you will like this. It's those two things combined, with a little The Bourne Identity thrown in. I think it's weird that Chris Pratt is so hated by the internet, but if you talk to the average person (at least in America), he is very much loved. I have no problems with him. I think people get way too caught up with having to agree with every. single. opinion someone has - and that's going to end up with hating a lot of people. He's religious. So what? He's Republican. Again, so what? Guess what....so are a LOT of wealthy, white, straight men. It's also weird that I've seen people critique this show as pro-America propaganda and that it's made for a conservative audience, when that is simply not true. Unfortunately, it's not that great of a series either. Incredibly predictable at almost every turn. The plot is absolutely ludicrous that I stopped paying full attention to it after the third episode. There is partially a great cast here - Pratt is perfect in this role, Riley Keough is great even if underutilized, Taylor Kitsch, JD Pardo (I have a HUGE crush on him in that Sons of Anarchy spin-off), and Jeanne Tripplehorn. It, sadly, also stars Constance Wu and Jai Courtney - both of whom are terrible. Also, the little girl who plays Pratt's daughter has to be related to somebody, right? She literally looks like she's reading off of a cue card. Overall, it's pretty average - there are a few moments in the beginning that are a bit shocking, but everything falls into place pretty quickly as to where the story is going and what it is trying to say. I will say that all of the Navy SEAL scenes feel really authentic, like, they really did their homework and I appreciate that. 

3. She-Hulk: Attorney at Law - Again, this is something I wish I really liked, but, so far, I just don't. I'm only three episodes in, but it's just not grabbing me at all. It's not bad, exactly. But the effects definitely are bad and that's incredibly distracting. Honestly, the CGI for Hulk has always been a bit wonky, but it is practically unwatchable here. And I don't understand why even as She-Hulk, she's soooo scrawny??? They just make her tall with a tiny bit of muscle, there is very little "hulk" to her (those legs are like sticks!). I love Tatiana Maslany, but she is far better than this show. Signing on to a Marvel project is usually a good thing in this current environment, but I wish she was used in more challenging roles. Her acting in Orphan Black was consistently phenomenal, while this doesn't really require much...acting? I like that Mark Ruffalo joins her in the first episode and guides her into her new reality of being a hulk, but after that...nothing much has happened. I was very surprised to see Tim Roth in this! That's just crazy. So far, I also find the breaking the 4th wall scenes really grating. The dialogue feels a little immature and often embarrassing (why exactly are we discussing Captain America losing his virginity??? I cringed with embarrassment). However, there is something fun and light about it. And the characters are all very likeable and/or interesting. I'll keep watching (obvi). 

4. Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story - So weird to me that this is what finally broke people into realizing that this true crime explosion is disrespectful to the victims and their families. The world never makes sense to me - sure, complain about this, but keep listening to your podcast with amateur "crime investigators" titled "My Favorite Murder". Makes complete sense. I'm not really one to get to involved very often with what's offensive, etc., but I get bothered by inconsistency. I do understand the criticism, and I do think it would be very hard to have to relive the murder of a loved one over and over again via popular culture. But I also think that telling these stories sheds light on situations - and this one is specifically shedding light on the fact that the biggest reason Dahmer was able to get away with what he did for so long is due to racism and homophobia. And I think that's important to highlight, so for me, so far, I don't really find this show disrespectful. Before this, I didn't really know much about Dahmer (other than him used as a joke about cannibalism) - I had no idea who his victims were or even how many people he killed. I would love some insight into the cops who responded to calls and concerns about Dahmer and did absolutely nothing. I would love for systems to be in place that hold cops accountable for overlooking HUGE RED FLAGS because of their own bias. I'm hopeful that this will happen one day. Anyway, as for the show - I'm a big fan of Evan Peters. And you can say what you want about Ryan Murphy (I've said a lot myself), but he KNOWS how to make this type of show and get into the psyche of a serial killer (as seen in The Assassination of Gianni Versace - perhaps one of his best series). Honestly, I view any lead actor in a mini-series as possible competition for Taron's Emmy (PLEASE don't let this be another Oscar fiasco...). Peter's Wisconsin accent is flawless (although I think he might be from the mid-west? I'm too lazy to look it up), and he gives a very calculated, understated performance that I think will land him a nomination. It's weird seeing Niecy Nash in a serious role, but she's knocking it out of the park. The first two episodes are rightly creepy and intense, but the next two are very, very slow and I didn't really feel like we were given any new information - just rehashing of things we saw? It's definitely not done as well as Versace was because even though the timeline wasn't linear - it still was very clear (and I guess it was linear - just backwards). This kind of feels all over the place. I'm intrigued, though!

5. The Sandman - I'm *almost* finished with the audiobook version (I think I have 20 minutes left - of the first act. I think there are now two more??). I don't usually like audiobooks (or podcasts), I've said this before, but there is just something in my brain that does not like people talking at me (it gives me headaches). But, the voice cast of the audiobook has both James McAvoy AND Taron Egerton. I repeat: JAMES MCAVOY AND TARON EGERTON. It's my version of heaven, really. If they were cast in the Netflix version, I might, quite literally, drop dead. But alas, they are not. Instead, there's some weird as fuck casting choices in this, and I'm not sure that I like it. I'm only two episodes in, so I guess I can't fully judge yet. I think Tom Sturridge fits the graphic novel image of Morpheus, which is very skinny goth (surely listening to "The Black Parade" on repeat), but after having McAvoy's voice I pictured someone completely different (and uh...hot). I'm intrigued by the casting of Jenna Coleman as Constantine (I've only seen a glimpse of her in the series so far), because it seems like a character that everyone criticizes the casting for no matter what (although I saw many say that Taron nailed the Scouse accent) - so it's kind of cool that Gaiman said "fuck it" and went with a completely out of pocket choice. I'm a big fan of Boyd Holbrook and he's doing an excellently creepy job as The Corinthian. I guess we'll see how it goes - the first episode had me hooked, but the second was a little slow. I hope the pace picks up and that there are some fun surprises along the way. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Elvis - So this is one of those movies that I didn't really mind while watching - it was perfectly okay, but the more I think about it, the less I like it. I'm a big fan of Baz Luhrmann - he's got such an extravagant, cinematic style and the way he uses music in films is super cool (two of my all-time favorite soundtracks are Romeo + Juliet and The Great Gatsby). I thought his style could be a perfect match to tell this story. When I think of Elvis, I think of a sort of grandiose spectacle of showmanship; a larger than life force of nature that swept the country. But instead, the film really lacks any and all spectacle. There is a popular Letterbxd review that states "Congrats to Baz for making the first 2 1/2 hour movie trailer" and it is SPOT ON. I kept waiting for the movie to start. It just moves so quickly without saying anything. I think part of it is not wanting to offend - so everything is very surface level well-known headlines about Elvis. There is also the traditional "villain" aka music executive that is featured in just so many biographies that it's almost eye rolling. It's even worse that Tom Hanks gives what might be his worst performance in history??? I could easily praise certain scenes - especially the Las Vegas performances. There have been tons of clips showing the real performances to compare, and they are all stunningly perfect. But the reason I hesitate to praise it is because I don't understand the point of it??? Why are we just recreating an already perfect performance? I can just watch that on YouTube, right? I just expected more imagination from Baz. I think the only scene that grabbed my attention is the Toxic/Viva Las Vegas mash-up especially playing off of the Toxic video on the airplane. I wish there were more scenes like that. As for Austin Butler - he's mostly wonderful. He definitely excels during the performance scenes - it's pretty spectacular to watch him become Elvis with every breath and movement of his body. And even if I didn't like the recreating aspect of the performances, I think he did what he was directed to do and absolutely nailed it. However, during some of the smaller, but essential, key scenes he feels a little blank (which was my worry from the trailer). There isn't much competition this year for lead actor performances, so I can see him landing an Oscar nomination and I wouldn't be mad about it (well, I mean, I definitely will be mad about it but for an entirely different reason that has absolutely nothing to do with Austin). Two other side-notes: (1) I was super excited when I saw Kelvin Harrison Jr., only to be extremely disappointed that he's barely in it. (2). Is that Billy from Stranger Things??? I never realized how much he looks like Zac Efron? How weird. 

2. Red Rocket - Had I seen this earlier, it definitely would have been included in my Top 10 of 2021 list. I loved it. Sean Baker is definitely one to watch, which surprises me because of how much I hated his debut, Tangerine (like, absolutely hated every single second of it). But I thought The Florida Project was fantastic so it gave me a little hope, but with this movie - I'm officially a fan. He seems to understand something about poverty in America that I've never really seen captured so authentically on film before. It's so often that I'm watching a film about supposed "poor" people but they live in a house in the suburbs! With like fresh squeezed orange juice on the table for breakfast!! Sorry, but that's NOT poor. He also consistently tells stories of unlikeable people - this one is about a guy sparking up a relationship with an underage girl and then grooms her into the porn industry. It has a very slice-of-life storytelling, which works because his characters are so interesting and/or charismatic. Simon Rex is fucking hot (and always has been. I remember my 9th grade best friend was obsessed with him when he was an MTV VJ back in the day). He's also very, very good in this - I could watch him all day long as this absolute trash of a character. I hope it triggers a resurgence in his career because I would like to see more of him. Also Suzanna Son has an INCREDIBLE voice and whoever did the arrangement for her version of "Bye, Bye, Bye" surely deserves some kind of award? I didn't even recognize it until she literally says the "bye, bye, bye" lyrics; it's so hauntingly beautiful - I've had it on repeat since I've seen this (it's been a few weeks - I'm, once again, behind on my blog posts. Good thing I'm not a professional). 

3. Thor: Love and Thunder - I thought this was fun! Not as good as Ragnarok, but I didn't expect it to be. There is definitely more good than bad, and it's a lot more fun than some other recent Marvel movies (AHEM). I like that it fully embraces a rock vibe with the Guns N' Roses soundtrack - ever song that played I was like "FUCK YES" dancing around on my couch (GN'R is one of my favorite bands. I'm full of surprises!). I think Chris Hemsworth has grown a lot as an actor since the first Thor movie (and the same can not be said for the other Avenger actor named Chris...). And Natalie Portman was so under-utilized in the previous movies, so it's really fun to see her as "Lady Thor" (and her hair looks FABULOUS when she's Thor! Is it a wig?). Now I just need to see Jaimie Alexander as Lady Sif for more than 5 minutes and we'll be all good! I was expecting to see a Matt Damon reprisal, but I laughed out loud at the casting of the "other" Hemsworth, Luke. I wish the casting of Hercules wasn't spoiled for me (I'm not blaming anyone - I watch things so far after they are released, of course things are going to get spoiled); I don't usually care much about spoilers, but this would have been a fun surprise. I do think it has some pacing issues and it wasn't as funny as Ragnarok. And also, the screaming goats thing is like...at least 5 years old (maybe more?) and they used it A LOT. I never really understood why everyone thinks it's so funny, so this got old real quick for me. **some spoilers ahead, in case you are someone who cares** I was surprised by the end because I was under the impression that Portman was taking over the role??? As in Hemsworth was done (similar to how Anthony Mackie is taking over as Captain America)?? But that doesn't seem to be the case. Am I missing something? 

4. Morbius - Well now, this is a terrible movie. I knew the reviews were pretty bad, but sometimes critics exaggerate and then everyone jumps on it. It's like the film bro version of high school bullies. But, unfortunately, this deserves the critical beating. I don't hate on Jared Leto like the rest of the world. I think he's an incredible actor, but also a bit of a weirdo cult member (same can be said for a certain someone who is ADORED and he's not even that good of an actor **cough** Tom Cruise **cough**). He's definitely not the problem here. The problems, for the most part, are the crazy weird special effects choices - like the wavy liquid effect that follows him when he jumps. What the fuck is that? The dialogue is rough - "I'm starting to get hungry, and you don't want to see me hungry" is an actual line from the movie. Leto's vampire makeup is different in every scene, which is also a weird choice. The biggest problem, though, is that I *think* this movie is trying to convince me that Matt Smith is...hot? I'm sorry, him dancing with his shirt off actually made my body physically cringe. I know I can be really fucking shallow sometimes, but guess what???? I don't care! I enjoy when actors/actresses are hot! He's not a very good actor, either, so it's a lose/lose situation for me. Anyway, it's a pretty boring, less-than-mediocre, superhero movie and it seems pretty pointless. But I'm guessing it's going to connect to the reboot of Blade with the vampire stuff? I actually had no ide who Morbius was or what exactly he does, so I was a little surprised by the fact that he's basically...Batman? Like technically more Batman than actual Batman? How weird. The only good thing I can say about it this is that I love Adria Arjona! Happy to see her in more stuff. 

5. Dog - I watched the trailer for this (I think it played before The Lost City) and it looked cute, but then it was on the little tv screen on my flight to New Orleans - I wasn't watching it and there was no sound, but every time I looked up at the screen it was a scene from the trailer. And it kind of put me off watching it because I feel like the whole thing is in the trailer. I also assumed that I would probably cry (and I did, in fact, tear up a bit at the end. Animals are the best.). Overall, it's an okay movie. It's not something I'll remember. Channing Tatum gives a strong performance - I usually prefer him in comedies, but I think this type of role fits him well too (and there are some funny parts). He's also in a white t-shirt for a lot of the movie, so there's that. His character name is Jackson Briggs, which is the most Channing Tatum character name I've ever heard. I think the movie could have dived a little deeper into PTSD of veterans, and how our country has failed them - but I think the creators didn't want to alienate the Go-America-Go crowd who don't like to admit this fact. I do have some problems with the central story because first, I know that there are much better systems in place when dealing with animals in the entertainment industry, but they really had to rile this dog up for certain scenes - and that bothers me A LOT. I also hate the scene with the veteran who rescued one of the military service dogs because it sends a dangerous message. A trained military dog should not be around children - as it's shown in this, dogs suffer from PTSD too - and anything can set it off. I say this as someone who grew up with Pit Bulls as a child and will vouch for how sweet they are if properly trained, but trained military dogs are different. I do think there needs to be a system in place for these dogs to "retire" to, that does not involve putting them down because that's disgusting. But bringing them into your home with your child is not the answer. I also think it's weird that he tries to let it "escape" when he's in the desert (like "go, be free!!") - how would that be better than putting him down? A dog would have a miserable life in the desert with no food/water with that heat?? It doesn't even make sense! Anyway, like I said, it's an okay movie. I was entertained - it's humorous, emotional at times, but never really gets as deep as it could. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Wolf - I really like George MacKay. Like...a lot. I feel like him and Lucas Hedges should be getting all the roles that Timothee Chalamet and Tom Holland get. Although, I guess I like that they do all of these super weird, interesting roles instead. The premise of this movie is a bit like that Jamie Dornan movie where he thinks he's a bee, but this is taken far more seriously. It's about people not being born in the bodies that they belong in, as in they feel like they are other species (the main character believes he's a wolf), so it's obviously a trans allegory. I didn't know that going in, but was not surprised to find out that a trans woman wrote & directed this. I think there's a lot of good stuff to dissect in this; especially the dangers of conversion therapy. However, I find it weird to use this as a story for trans rights because it plays into the backlash for those fighting against these rights. Anti-trans activists tend to justify their narrative by exaggerating a moot point - and I've definitely heard the argument of "where does it end? what if someone identifies as an animal or a different race" etc. It's a distraction method that often, unfortunately, works far too often. You end up arguing about things that aren't happening instead of focusing on trans rights. Another example is when someone argues about prisons letting male prisoners identify as women, so they transfer to a women's prison and then rape a bunch of women (which has happened). And they ask, in a most exaggerated fashion "you don't want women getting raped...do you???". Uhh...what?? Nobody should be raped and it happens all the time in prison (mostly to men). So your problem is with the prison system and with rapists. Literally nothing to do with trans rights. Don't people have common sense anymore? Anyway, I just feel like this movie plays into the anti-trans argument. BUT, I do think it's a necessary point of view - and also about just having empathy for every living thing. MacKay is wonderful. Paddy Considine, also always wonderful. I've seen Lily-Rose Depp in a few things, and she's never really stood out (other than her stunning bone structure). I'm not really a fan of her here - she's sort of blank compared to the emotion that MacKay is putting out there. I did like this movie - it's definitely interesting, well-acted, and feels urgent. I'm just not sure it's putting out the message that it wants to??

2. Breaking News in Yuba County - I saw someone compare this to Fargo so I added it to my list. It is a ridiculous dark comedy, but Fargo it is not. The cast is great - Allison Janney (I really miss Mom, so much), Wanda Sykes, Samira Wiley, Ellen Barkin, Mila Kunis. And, unfortunately, Awkwafina. I just have to give up and face facts - she's going to be in stuff. But, am I supposed to buy her as...threatening??? I would absolutely laugh at her. I just don't know how any of these actors read this script and thought it was worth their time? It has a current popular trend of dealing with tragedy porn - as in someone invents a tragedy to get attention. The problem is that, as a dark comedy, it's kinda dark (but nothing that hasn't been done before) but never funny. I don't think I laughed once. The dialogue is absolutely awful - especially Awkwafina's. And Regina Hall with that haircut is...well, it's hard to look at. There's really not much else to say about this - it's very ridiculous, but not in any sort of memorable way. 

3. Everything Everywhere All at Once - I loved this, but am also somehow really disappointed with it. The hype was just so hard to ignore and it's far from perfect. I'll try to focus on the good, though, because overall, it is very good. It has a somewhat original, fun, sci-fi premise of a multi-verse - but more "realistic" than the superhero movie version. I do feel like it's just a live-action version of an episode of Rick & Morty (as others have pointed out), but it's still really fun and interesting to watch. The production design is flawless. Michelle Yeoh is an absolute legend. Yeoh, plus the rest of the cast just knock it out of the park. It's so nice seeing Ke Huy Quan all grown up! He literally looks the same as he did in The Goonies. So insane. I also really like Stephanie Hsu - she may actually be the highlight of the movie for me. Completely different role than what I know her from (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel and The Path). She has this really interesting, funny, sinister quality while being really likeable. There's also Jamie Lee Curtis, Jenny Slate, James Hong (another legend!), and Harry Shum Jr in a small role. All are perfect in their roles. I think my only real problem is the length. I put off watching it for so long specifically because of how long it is (2 hrs and 19 mins). It feels even longer. They could have EASILY cut 20 minutes without effecting anything within the story - in fact, it could have even helped make it a little more cohesive because there are definitely a few parts where the story starts to meander and loses itself before it comes back. I know it's uncool to complain about the length of films, but, to me, this could have been a perfect movie if it had some tighter, more efficient storytelling. It's just frustrating! But overall, super fun movie - not my #1 (I still have After Yang as my top movie of the year), but it will likely be in my Top 10 of the year. 

4. Crimes of the Future - Cronenberg and that cast - seems like you can't go wrong. I did read some pretty tough reviews, though. It's pretty safe to say that if you're not a fan of Cronenberg's earlier work, then you won't like this. There's this weird dichotomy to it, in that it feels like old school Cronenberg, but it also feels extremely modern and relevant, which, I think, is super-duper cool. It's body horror mixed with romance and sexual desire. Surgery as not only a sexual act, but also a way to emotionally and spiritually connect with a partner - which seems "out there" as a concept but it's not far off from Cronenberg's previous efforts of discussing the connection between violent acts and sexual desires. It's certainly fascinating. I think his aim is to make the audience uncomfortable and he succeeds every time. This is why I feel like I have to respect it - it almost doesn't matter if I liked it or didn't (I did like it, but I tend to like his films - The Fly, eXistenZ, Crash, A History of Violence - there's just nobody doing it like him. Well, maybe his son, but it's a little early for such talk). The cast do a great job of selling the story - even Kristen Stewart. I'm not always on board with her performances (some are definitely far better than others), but her fast, whispered dialogue combined with the rhythmic blinking really works for her. I just think she's one of those actresses that you can tell is acting - like nothing ever feels genuine within her performances because she tries too hard to prove she can do it. On a side note: I would kill for a bed that anticipates my pain and adjusts accordingly. Seriously, who do I have to kill? 

5. Emergency - Really taken by surprise with this one - I thought it was going to be a fun, college party comedy, but it is sooooo much more than that. First, it's hilarious. The "don't be a sexist, coward, wiener" scene is definitely my favorite. I also laughed at the line "where's Princeton?" "It's in New Jersey"..."oh FUCK". LOL. And the scene where they all run after finding out "her name is Emma and she just told me that she's in high school". Just hilarious. Second, it's extremely believable with is really heartbreaking and scary. It's basically Superbad, but like, if there were actual real world consequences - one wrong turn creates a myriad of problems. The only big difference is that they don't really do anything wrong, they just happen to not be white (and if you think about Superbad, it would be a far different movie if it was two black kids getting up to those hijinks) - the premise is that these two college-aged black guys find a white girl passed out in their apartment. Along with their 3rd friend (who is Hispanic), they decide that calling the cops is out of the question, so the come up with a plan to get her help without involving the cops. Things escalate from there - and I won't spoil it, but it sets up a really interesting commentary on this gigantic portion of the American population that don't feel safe calling the cops in emergencies for fear of their own lives. There's also great dialogue about the black experience (it's combined with the "don't be a sexist, coward, wiener" scene. And along with being very funny, it's also thoughtful and resonating). The cast is fan-fucking-tastic, of mostly newcomers - and that is always exciting. I recognize RJ Cyler from my favorite movie of last year, The Harder They Fall, and also Me, Earl, and the Dying Girl. I loved him in both of those movies, and this is no exception. He's a talent to watch, for sure. Oh wait, one more scene that I really loved was the "Staying Alive" CPR scene - I laughed, but I also wanted to cry because I knew the movie was coming to a conclusion and it was, for sure, going to be devastating (and it is, but it also gives a bit of a hopeful feeling to it as well). This will definitely be among my Top movies of 2022. 

4 Thoughts on The Emmys

1. The Host - Over the past few years, there have been some truly terrible Emmy hosts (Cedric the Entertainer, Scarjo's husband, etc.), and this year isn't really any different. Although, I don't mind Kenan - I just don't think he's been funny since his days on Nickelodeon (I've tried watching some of his sketches on SNL and they are real cringe). I don't think many comedian/hosts know where the line is between being non-offensive and completely boring. Personally, I prefer when the hosts have a little bite to them - and take bigger risks with their jokes. This just all fell flat because Kenan played it very safe (I mean, his harshest joke was about Leo DiCaprio - a joke that's been made over and over again, and mostly done better by people on Twitter). I don't want to watch him dance to tv theme songs?? Who does??? Did people actually enjoy that? I think the only thing I liked is the reunion with Kel (I screamed!). I don't even remember him doing any other sketches or anything??? He was just blah. 

2. The Show - Overall, I think the show was very boring. Almost nothing exciting happened. The presenters stayed on track, the winners yelled out their thank yous while being played off by the music, and the announcer had way too much screen time (I think we saw her more than the host??). I feel like if you, like me, don't think SNL is funny anymore, then you will definitely be really bored by this - the announcer, Sam Jay (a writer for SNL) was so unfunny, and her voice was so jolting. It's like she knew people were falling asleep (she also mispronounced Taron Egerton's name - so she's automatically on my shit-list. It's like your one job as announcer - look up name pronunciations). The stage was also set up very oddly with some of the audience behind it so they had to look at the back of the presenters and winners all night. So awkward! A tie between the worst moment is definitely the Kia commercial in the middle of the show and the appearance of Pete Davidson (I always forget that he's supposed to be funny...). The highlight was Sheryl Lee Ralph's glorious rendition of "Endangered Species", followed by a wonderful, moving speech. There were a few funny presenters - Mindy Kaling (who looked stunning!) and B.J. Novak made me laugh with their bit about how writers are lazy now, writing only 8 episodes when they had to do 22. The Only Murders trio absolutely killed it - someone needs to get the three of them to host something (I know people were really rooting for them hosting the Oscars this year but they couldn't due to timing, but maybe next year????). And OF COURSE, I loved Taron and Paul Walter Hauser's little bit about British accents (I was honestly so worried for Taron presenting because he failed spectacularly in his last presenting venture. Don't YouTube it - it's so embarrassing.). Also, Geena Davis is an ICON. Okay, now that I'm listing it out, there were actually more highlights than I thought - but I still stand by the overall show being a complete snoozefest. 

3. The Winners - The only win I cared about was Amanda Seyfried for The Dropout. It's the only performance from this past year in television that I think about regularly (along with the performances in Black Bird, which will be eligible for next year and THEY BETTER SWEEP). It was a tough category (and Emmy voters really love Julia Garner - so I was nervous she would get a double win and I would have to start breaking stuff), so I'm glad she pulled it out. Everyone else was a bit...expected. Not necessarily a bad thing - Ted Lasso is one of the best comedies on television, Succession is a great show (not my favorite, but I get the love for it), Squid Game is fantastic, Jean Smart is a legend. I knew Abbott Elementary would get some love (I haven't watched it yet, but it's on the list!). Sheryl Lee Ralph has been acting since the 70s, so it was so joyful to see her have this moment. But there are a lot of those wins that I can't get behind. As I've said - Emmy voters love Julia Garner; I knew they would honor her performance for the final season, but literally every other nominee gave a better performance (but Rhea Seehorn should have had that in the bag!). I would say that all the awards for The White Lotus is surprising, but with ALL of those nominations, it was clearly an Emmy favorite. I definitely don't agree with any of those wins. Jennifer Coolidge is HILARIOUS and I adore her, but she is the same character in everything (and from what I can tell it's just a heightened version of her own personality. How is that an award-winning performance??). The show is a perfectly trashy, addictive drama, but I don't think there is anything particularly interesting about the writing or the directing (although Mike White is a super-weirdo nerd and I love it!). And now that I've finally watched Euphoria, I have to laugh at Zendaya getting all these awards. I haven't liked a performance of hers yet (she has some good moments in Malcolm & Marie), but I honestly thought Euphoria would change everything. It doesn't. She's awful - she just squints her eyes a lot to show emotions (the Reese Witherspoon school of acting). She seems like such a sweetheart, though, so I'm not exactly mad at her winning. I just really wish there were some surprise wins - they nominated some spectacular stuff that ended up winning nothing - Severance, Better Call Saul, Barry, Yellowjackets, The Great, What We Do in the Shadows. Next time, spread the love Emmy voters!!

4. The Fashion - My favorite part!! I love a good Emmy gown and some of these stars truly shined. I have a few favorites - Kerry Washington - the flowers, the volume - love it all (although it was a little wedding-y, I still adored it), Jung Ho-yeon's dress was STUNNING, and Alexandra Daddario looked spectacular (although, inappropriate. I appreciate a sheer dress, but her tits were just fully on display when The White Lotus won. I'm not complaining, but just not appropriate for this event. She might not have realized how sheer it was, either. Under different lights you couldn't see through it). Actually my favorite look was MJ Delaney, which is surprising to have a writer on this list - but the color and volume of that dress was a refreshing statement look. She looked gorgeous. I also liked all the men who wore white suits (Nicholas Braun, Andrew Garfield, Seth Rogen). I sort of liked Julia Garner's dress - it's at least interesting, compared to the see of sparkly fitted gowns. I also liked Sarah Paulson's two-piece ensemble, but the accessories were horrendous (that belt and that choker...together? Just no). My worst look is probably Juliette Lewis - the dress isn't that bad, but with those gloves? Eeek. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Black Phone - I quite liked this. The 70s aesthetic is done really well, Ethan Hawke is superbly creepy, and it has a fairly original horror concept (I'm not usually a fan of supernatural horror, but the mix of this with the real world fear of a child murderer works for me - plus the supernatural part is executed very well). It also absolutely nails the ending, which is rare for horror movies. The main kid, Mason Thames, is a really strong young actor - he reminds me a lot of the late Brad Renfro (and I LOVED Brad Renfro - one of those deaths that absolutely devastated me. The Client and Sleepers are two of my favorite movies from the 90s). And Jeremy Davies is a very under-rated actor - he excels everything he's in. There are parts that are a little stupid (like how he wastes time with the bike lock on the door instead of just going out a window??), but that goes with every horror film. I'm still confused as to how Scott Derrickson (the director) got the gig to direct Doctor Strange with a failed remake of The Day the Earth Stood Still and three moderately successful indie horror movies. But it's even more confusing that he didn't direct the sequel which was horror inspired! Hollywood makes no sense sometimes. 

2. Day Shift - This is very dumb, but in a mostly fun way. It's definitely going for a Michael Bay Bad Boys vibe in the beginning - the overly yellow saturated shots of Los Angeles, the 90s rap song, etc. But, it goes in an entirely different direction than what I was expecting. I did not know what it was about at all - I saw a new Netflix release with Jamie Foxx and, my love, Dave Franco and I just pressed play. So, needless to say, it very quickly caught me off guard. It's actually a bit like Men in Black but for vampire hunters - as if vampire hunting was a legit job that could be unionized. Fairly original concept for a vampire flick, and like I said, I mostly had fun with it. Foxx and Franco work off of each other really well, there's some fantastic vampire kills, a fast-paced story, and some funny dialogue. Plus, Snoop Dogg is ridiculous in this (in a good way), plus the cast also includes the girl from How to Get Away with Murder (I don't think I've ever seen her in anything else before?), Kevin from Shameless (Lip was my favorite character, but Kevin made me laugh the most. Such a perfect himbo), and Meagan Good (and she fixed her eyebrows from the last time I've seen her - that tv show Deception, which was like 10 years ago...has she been in anything since then???). It's entertainment on the most basic level, and sometimes that's ok. 

3. Not Okay - I'm really surprised by how much I liked this - I thought it was more of a vapid, but maybe funny, story of an influencer learning some big life lesson. But it is very reminiscent of God Bless America and World's Greatest Dad (speaking of these movies, what the heck happened to Bobcat Goldthwait??? He made two incredible movies over a decade ago and then peaced out? What's he been doing lately?). It's not quite the satire that those movies are, but it tackles the same topics of celebrity culture and obsessions, while updating it with influencers, performative activism, and trauma porn. Zoey Deutch is perfect in this role - she somehow still remains likeable even at her most vapid. And a completely unexpected and hilarious performance from Dylan O'Brien as...um...Pete Davidson? There are some shocking moments, like right off the bat, when Zoey's character declares herself as having "missed out" on the tragedy of 9/11 - which is foreshadowing for just how dark this story is willing to go to stress its point. It's also really funny (the line "can tone deaf be a brand? Isn't that what Lena Dunham does?" killed me). It's not necessarily something that I can relate to, as she asks in the beginning "have you ever wanted to be noticed so badly that you didn't even care what it was for?", uh...no, never in my whole life. I'm perfectly fine going unnoticed. I also have zero sympathy for her and the ending is a little disappointing - she supposedly "loses" everything but she moves back in with her parents, who are most definitely millionaires (that space in NYC? Millionaire.). So she really only loses her "clout", which...um...who cares? Overall, though, I really liked this. It's highly entertaining and I think it speaks to the dangers of living your life online. 

4. Luck - This is...not good. The third animated movie this year that I rated below 3 stars (Lightyear and Sonic 2 are the other two - this is not quite as bad as those two, but still...). I've been really impressed with Apple TV+ content, but mostly television and miniseries. Their movies have been...okay (I still can't believe CODA won a freakin' Oscar!), although this years Cha Cha Real Smooth might end up on my Best of 2022 list? It's #6 right now, and it's still early so probably not but I definitely liked it. This, though, is almost painful to sit through. I would have been bored out of my mind if I were a child. And incredibly confused - the plot is way overdone and I lost track of it about 1/2 way through. The animation looks like every other animated movie nowadays (aka nothing special or interesting in any way). I don't really have too much to say about it, but I did learn something new! Apparently black cats are good luck in Scotland! That's super cool. In America, there are always an overflow of black cats in shelters because people are so superstitious (and dumb). It's also hilarious to me that I knew that the person voicing the Scottish cat is not, in fact, Scottish before even looking it up (*spoiler* it becomes part of the plot that he's not Scottish, so it makes sense as to why this person was chosen for the voice but at first I was super confused). Also, the flamboyant rainbow unicorn is...uh...straight? Uh...yeah sure okay. 

5. Prey - I'm enjoying writing this post because there are THREE WHOLE MOVIES here that are above 3 stars (this, The Black Phone and Not Okay are all 3.5 - very close to 4 star movies. I feel like this never happens to me nowadays...)!!! When this was released, I had my doubts - it's just so hard to make prequels work, but then I kept reading more and more great reviews so my expectations were pretty high by the time I got around to watching it. They were mostly met. I definitely think it's a little too slow in the beginning for a Predator movie, at least. There's a really distracting lens flare that is super annoying, and I really don't need to see all the dead animals. But, other than that...it's super fun! There are some really great intense scenes (the scene with the bear is SUPERB!!). Amber Midthunder is a star in the making, which is really exciting. She was wonderful in Legion, but then really awful in that Liam Neeson movie, so I really wasn't sure how her career was going to go. I think she does a really great job here. I know a lot of people were upset that a girl beats the predator, and honestly, sometimes I have "suspension of disbelief" problems when it comes to movies with tiny women being physically stronger than they actually are. But she doesn't beat him on physical strength, and she has a lot of help along the way, which makes the whole thing totally believable (as believable as a movie like this can be). So those critiques are pure misogyny and nonsense. She's a badass. Deal with it. This movie makes for a perfect cap to The Predator trilogy (I have not seen Predators and from what I understand it is for the best). 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Ms. Marvel - The Marvel TV shows have been hit or miss for me (mostly a miss, though. The only ones I like are Hawkeye and the first half of WandaVision). I didn't know much about this going in, but it definitely feels very immature. I feel waaaaay too old to be watching it (and I watch Riverdale so that's saying something!). This is also just so...unremarkable? I've seen a lot of people talk about the Marvel fatigue, but the bigger problem is that people want to keep watching these things if they were actually good. I understand that they need to cater to a younger audience in order to keep growing, which is why I want to be able to defend this show, but I just can't. It's dull, feels pointless, cheesy, *completely* predictable. My husband (still weird saying that) has been telling me for like 3 years that he's done with Marvel, but he keeps watching them with me. After the first episode of this, though, he turned to me and said "I can't do it anymore. I'm really done this time. You'll have to watch the rest of this by yourself", and I don't blame him. However, there are some good things about it. I love all of the cultural celebration - and I think it's very representative of Jersey City (and New Jersey, in general). Obviously diversity matters, and it's wonderful to see Marvel embracing the changes happening (slowly) within the entertainment industry. Iman Vellani is adorable. I also really love Zenobia Shroff - she was Pravesh's mom on The Resident and she was also in The Affair. I do feel like their relationship as mother/daughter is a little cliched and the whole plot is very similar to Turning Red. It just feels like I've watched this whole thing before...recently. By the final episode, I was barely paying attention. 

2. Five Days at Memorial - I've watched the first two episodes and it is very well done. It's very stressful and chaotic, which is exactly how I think it felt like to experience Hurricane Katrina (I think back to our big NJ hurricane, Sandy, and that was insane!). I also recently spent some time in New Orleans and spent some time with local people who told us their "Katrina story". It's so devastating to hear how our government failed these people and their entire city. I think the biggest takeaway from my visit is the chaos of it all. And that it wasn't even the hurricane that caused all this damage, nor was it flooding from the Mississippi. I had heard of "the levees breaking", obviously. But I didn't realize it was from Lake Pontchartrain (which is a GIGANTIC lake - if you told me I was looking at the Atlantic Ocean I would have believed you). And it happened after the hurricane hit, as shown in this series, people were actually celebrating the next day and practically laughing at how over-prepared they were. They had begun the cleanup process and were ready to move on. But instead of the water receding, like during a normal hurricane, it started to increase - and nobody was expecting or prepared for that. New Orleans is such a wonderful city, and one of the few that always seems to have "open arms" for tourism (I say this as a New Yorker, who despises tourists in NYC. I mean, you couldn't pay me to go to Times Square. But the reality of it is, big cities need tourists to survive - and all of these cities are slowly dying from the lasting effects of Covid. And Airbnbs (but that's a whole other rant and I'm too tired for that). But anyway, this miniseries, so far, is very interesting. I can't imagine having the responsibility of an entire hospital on my shoulders. But I also feel like that's soooo unfair? And seems impractical. There should be a team of people, which there is, but everyone on this woman's team has said at one point or another "it's up to you!" basically absolving themselves of responsibility. I certainly have empathy for everyone working at this hospital - they did not have the right information, just chaos and gossip. And now they have to live with themselves as the "villains" of this story. Also, Vera Farmiga and Cherry Jones are excellent. 

3. The Bear - What a fucking show, man. I absolutely love it and I'm so excited that it seems to be embraced by critics and received an order for a second season. I'm also really happy that Jeremy Allen White is getting some recognition. He was definitely over-shadowed by bigger names on Shameless, but he was the strongest and most consistent on the series. And he made me care for a deeply flawed character. Lip made some awful life choices, and many mistakes, but White gave him heart, soul and a conscience. You could tell that he was always trying to do the right thing. I think he is doing the same thing with this character, but in an environment that feels very different. It's still Chicago, but 90% of the show takes place in this very confined space of a small restaurant (that I would call a luncheonette? Is that what it's called in Chicago?). It's very fast-paced and intense, and there is not a single second wasted. The first episode just flies by - and I couldn't even decide if I liked it because it was just a lot of yelling. And the dialogue is so quick that I thought I was missing parts. But I got used to the pace with the second episode, and was able to keep up with it. I always thought it was weird how many tv shows have characters that work in "normal 9-5" office jobs, when a large portion of the population work in more service based environments. I could not work in an office. I tried once and I really thought I was going to die. It's so...boring. And I'm convinced it's why so many people are addicted to social media - because they have nothing else to do...while they are AT WORK. My day isn't as intense as working in a kitchen, but once I get to work, I don't stop until I leave. There is always something to do. I'm hot-gluing flowers for an elaborate window display one minute, and the next minute I'm ringing up a *very* famous R&B singer from the 90s - who is in a HURRY because her team is telling her she HAS TO GO, but she wants to buy thousands of dollars of merchandise (this just happened to me the other night. She was actually very lovely, and one of the best celebrity interactions I've ever had). Anyway, what was my point??? Oh yeah, that I find fast-paced jobs like this far more interesting and there are very few shows that feature this. A sitcom based in a retail store could work really well, especially with the variety of people that one has to deal with. But back to this series - everyone in the cast is excellent. Ebon Moss-Bachrach has been in a ton of shit, but I've never really noticed him before. He really shines, here. And Ayo Edebiri does a fantastic job at being the more grounded character, while still showing complex emotions and frustrations (plus, she has a Speed poster on her wall so she is automatically the coolest). My favorite character, though, is Marcus (played by Lionel Boyce) because he is such a sweetheart. Never change, Marcus. Joel McHale is also in it in a small role (and he's serious in it!! It's kind of sexy). But what we really need to talk about is episode 7 - perhaps one of the best executed episodes of television...ever? I don't think I'm exaggerating either, as many others have pointed out the technical masterpiece of the 20 minute long one-shot episode. It works so well to exaggerate the claustrophobic atmosphere within this tiny kitchen - working so closely with different personalities, and the stress of having it all go so wrong. Yes chef, indeed. 

4. Black Bird - This might be a long one. I definitely have a lot to say. So where should I start??? I guess, I'll start with the show overall. I read the book that this was based on a few years back when it was announced that Taron was starring in it. It's written by James Keene (the main guy in this true story) and someone else (who clearly "wrote" most of it). I did not like it. I really wish Dennis Lehane wrote the novel because this mini-series is sooooo much better. Keene is not a likeable person at all, and he thinks that he is. He's so fucking full of himself, and I think the whole redemption arc is kind of bullshit. Lehane makes a better point of it all by focusing it more on misogyny and Keene's ego. But the clear problem is that he never really seems to feel bad for his actual crimes. Maybe I have a slight bias against him for personal reasons (the crimes are very similar to why my father is in prison - mostly weapons charges - selling and smuggling guns etc., and it was even during the same time period and he was even in a prison near Chicago for a while. I actually questioned to myself whether they might have known each other, but I thought best not to look into it. I try to not let my father take up any of my energy). As I said, the mini-series elevates the story, keeps it (mostly) focused, and features some of the best acting I've seen in a while. Overall, I think it is *excellent*. However, there are a few parts that are very, very bad. In particular, the first 10 minutes of the first episode. It's actually excruciating to watch and my heart was sinking by minute 9 because I thought "oh no...I'm going to hate this". And thinking back to it now, none of the first 10 minutes are really relevant at all - they could have easily shown most of that in flashbacks etc. I also HATED the ending. It would have been great if it just had Jimmy looking out the window of the plane - with the parallel image of the map that he drove himself crazy trying to memorize, but they had to add the stupid part with the flight attendant flirting. I'm sorry, but I don't buy that he has any regrets about being a man whore (his ego is just too big for that). I'm not going to suddenly like him because he is nice to *one* woman. Give me a fucking break. The show excels during the interactions between Jimmy and Larry Hall (brilliantly played by Paul Walter Hauser), which is most of the show (episodes 3, 4 & 5 are spectacular). It's slow-burn, but the dialogue is so intense and...skin-crawling - just really brilliantly disturbing. I think episode 5 is the best episode - the way it is filmed is really top-notch; it really makes you feel Jimmy's paranoia and the danger that he is in, plus it gives a voice to one of Larry's victims - which is necessary, in my opinion, especially when it's a true crime story. There are also some really great scenes between Jimmy and his father (the late great Ray Liotta), that are both heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time. I think it will be interesting once awards season arrives because surely Hauser and Liotta will be nominated against each other? Hauser would deserve the award, but Liotta...um...died. Sepideh Moafi does a great job at being this no-nonsense "I will not put up with your shit" character that the audience still likes (although back to the terrible beginning - WHY did she just let a raid happen with a woman passed out on the couch??? LOL. She's, like, concerned that he doesn't know her name, as if that's a crime, but NOT that she....isn't waking up with all this noise around her? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!). I also have to mention Jake McLaughlin because that's Ryan from Quantico!!! I literally screamed out loud (he's usually so fucking hot, but obviously not in this...). So, let's talk about Taron, shall we? I'm obviously biased, but I also think that because I adore him so much, I am hyper-critical of his performances. I've watched Rocketman literally dozens of times, and he is obviously brilliant and should have won the Oscar (don't get me started), but I can still see flaws in the performance (I don't want to be this way. It's just how I am!). I can see the flaws here, but overall, he's excellent. And most of my problems are within the first two episodes (especially those first 10 minutes - that warehouse scene is...rough). I do appreciate the depth that the role requires - it's certainly not an easy character to portray. He has to be likeable, but also be completely unlikeable at the same time. He also has to internalize a lot of disturbing dialogue without showing it to the person in front of him (Larry), but showing it to the audience (I'm specifically talking about a scene in episode 5 that is literally a masterclass of acting and he BETTER get an Emmy for it). I also appreciate that Taron realized how important Jimmy's ego and narcissism is to the story - Jimmy would (and did) spend his days in prison working out because there's not much else to do in prison. We've seen Taron fit before with the Kingsman movies and Robin Hood, but *never* this fit. My husband walked into the living room while I was watching an episode and didn't recognize him (he never does - we have the same conversation for every Taron project. With him being amazed that that's the kid from Kingsman. He did it for Rocketman and Eddie the Eagle too. With Eddie the Eagle, he actually didn't believe me and googled it to prove me wrong). When I told him it was Taron, he was like "That's what the guy you're in love with looks like now???? Cool" and then he left slamming the door behind him (LOL - it was in a joking way, not in an actually mad way). And finally, I appreciate that this was the role that he chose after Rocketman. I'm sure he had a ton of projects thrown at him, and he has acknowledged mistakenly taking roles that didn't feel right in the past, so he waited and found something that excited him and challenged him. And he also took on an Executive Producer role so he would have more say in the project. I think he's got a good head on his shoulders, as the saying goes, and has proven that he has incredible range. I think a lot of people, like myself, were very worried when he suddenly dropped out of Stars at Noon (in which he was already on location, ready to shoot) and then even more suddenly dropped out of Cock (a play that he seemed very excited and passionate about). He also never did any promotion for Sing 2, which was odd. I had a strong feeling it had to do with his mom. I didn't want it to be true, so I never said it out loud (I knew it wasn't what all the gossip people were reporting *rolls eyes*), so my heart sank when he briefly mentioned it being due to an immediate family member having Cancer. He's posted a few pictures of his mom since then with her head shaved, but it seems like she is recovering and hopefully in remission. I'm glad that he has his priorities straight and decided to spend time with his family during such a crucial time. Okay, I think I'm done. I'm sure I'm going to think of a million more things I wanted to say, but this is already way longer than I intended. OH WAIT...HIS ACCENT! How could I forget! I think this is where I found myself being a little hyper-critical because I could tell which words he struggled with. However, it is SO much better than his American accent in Billionaire Boys Club. He worked so hard on it and it shows. Also, he's fucking hot as fuck. 

5. Baymax - I didn't really know what this was??? I saw some hoopla about it having a trans character and an episode about menstruating, but I never saw anyone talk about the actual series. First, each episode is really, really short. Approximately about 10 minutes long, which is actually perfect for a child's attention span. They are these cute little vignettes about helping others. Baymax, if you don't know, is an adorable robot featured in Big Hero 6. He is a healthcare companion who befriends the main character in the film. He is programmed to help people in any way he can (and he is the CUTEST most innocent big fluffy marshmallow that you just want to hug). Second, I wish it was a bit more like Big Hero 6, which I think was obviously made for children, but also made for the adults who are forced to watch it with their children and/or film and animation lovers. Instead, this is a little too kids oriented and I didn't really find anything interesting about it as an adult. Third, the hoopla is, once again, ridiculous. The menstruation episode is really, really well done. And just like I said with Turning Red, getting your period is a kid issue (some kids get their period at 10! While they are watching cartoons like this! Why are people so weirded out by it?). And there is no featured trans character. There is a person with a t-shirt that has trans flag colors and they hand Baymax a sanitary product that they recommend. There is a crowd of people doing the same. It is very much a blink and you'll miss it moment, and by talking about it (in a negative way), you're only bringing more attention to it. I'm honestly not even sure I would have noticed it if I hadn't already known about it. Also, who the fuck cares??? Trans people exist and have their periods. I also think people probably got mad that the girl uses a bathroom that is gender neutral? I didn't see anything about it, but I'm sure it was part of the whole conversation. Again, who cares? It's so weird to me that their are parents who view inclusivity as a *problem* when raising their children. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Bad Guys - I saw the trailer for this before The Lost City and I thought it looked really, really cute and funny. And it is, but it's also terribly unmemorable and very predictable (**spoiler** obvi the super rich guy is the bad guy because super rich guys are always the bad guy...duh *said with the same inflection as Billie Eilish in her song...."bad guy"*). Sam Rockwell has an excellent voice for animation (and in general), but the rest of the cast, well, I have a hard time with - Marc Maron sounds like Danny DeVito?? Which he doesn't usually so it was a weird choice. And don't even get me started on Awkwafina! I mean, her voice is probably the worst part of her??? It's like nails on a fucking chalkboard. God I feel like every post I do just gets meaner and meaner, and I really don't try to be mean, but it just comes out as I write. The whole thing is also really weird - like how they are all "scary" animals that can talk and do human-like activities, but then there are also actual animals that are just animals - like the cat stuck in the tree and the guinea pigs being used as...um...guinea pigs. Overall, it just feels odd. There are some funny/amusing parts, but nothing really laugh-out-loud funny - and most of the funny stuff is in the trailer (which is why I usually only watch trailers when I'm at the movie theater). The animation is fine. And there's really not much else to say about it. Meh. 

2. Senior Year - I watched this, even though it looked really, really stupid, because I surprisingly enjoyed Rebel Wilson in Isn't it Romantic? and that movie is actually super cute. This looked similar, so I thought maybe it would be just as cute and funny? I didn't like it quite as much as that movie, but I did find this highly entertaining. I think a lot of it has to do with the timeline - being that it matched up to my high school experience (I had that *N SYNC poster on my wall, loved TRL, and wore my hair in those stupid butterfly clips). The only thing I can't really get behind is the often over-used trope of cheerleaders being the popular girls (it's so weird? The popular people in my high school were not involved in school activities at all because they were "too cool" for it. I honestly can tell you the name of only one cheerleader in my high school. ONE.). I did expect the cheerleading routine to be a bit more risque ala the Glee "Push it" scene, but the routines were actually really good. It is interesting to see how much has changed in 20 years. They've already done the "the nerds are now the cool kids" thing with the updated 21 Jump Street movies, but it's gone even further now with performative activism, eco-friendly, overly politically correct, Instagram drenched high school experience. And I'm with Rebel Wilson's character - it all seems terribly boring. And I just don't think it's setting teenagers up for success because the real world is fucking harsh and you WILL be offended by something. And you need to learn how to deal with that in a mature way early in life or you won't survive. It's just facts. Anyway, I laughed quite a few times with this (her "three ways to gain popularity" is hilarious and the cheerleaders motioning the plastic straws. I died. And the line "Madonna is called...Lady Ga..ga now?" It's also funny how she pronounces the "Gaga" part), but the best part is the recreation of the Britney Spears "Crazy" video. Just absolutely perfect. 

3. X - I absolutely love Jenna Ortega and I totally dig her as the next generation "scream queen" (she was also in the new Scream movie). I also like Mia Goth and I had NO IDEA that Brittany Snow had such a big role in this. She is adorable. Also, that's Kid Cudi??? I don't think I've ever seen him before, but I definitely expected him to be...younger? He's three years younger than me, but if you told me he was 50, I would believe you. He's also a terrible actor. The film is slightly disappointing - it's basically Texas Chainsaw Massacre, but instead of a mentally ill man with a chainsaw, it's a creepy 100 year old lesbian with a knife. It's very slow, and nothing really happens for the first 40 minutes of the film (aside from some cheesy porno sex). I do admit that I was highly distracted for most of the movie because The Love of My Life (Taron Egerton) did a Twitter Q&A and answered my question (!!!). I actually had to restart the movie, but I still was definitely looking at my phone more than usual while watching a movie (hangs head in shame). There are a few things I really liked - *spoiler* the alligator (or crocodile, I don't know the difference) attack is fucking HILARIOUS and so unexpected that it actually made me jump (and I never jump during horror movies) and then I laughed for a good 15 minutes. And the ending has a nice little twist that I wasn't really expecting, either. Oh and there's a Debbie Does Dallas reference that made me laugh. While I was disappointed, I am still looking forward to the Mia Goth starring prequel. And I do feel like if I watched this again, I might enjoy it more - now that I don't have the high expectations or the distractions. I highly doubt I'll ever watch it again, though. 

4. Lightyear - And speaking of being disappointed - Jesus, is this movie a mess or what? It's soooo boring. Like, most animated movies are cute and funny and enjoyable for kids, so they usually automatically get 3 stars from me. But this is none of those things. First, I should point out that I am not the biggest fan of the Toy Story movies (but I would never rate them below three stars - I just don't see why everyone raves about them). I thought this was actually a great idea to keep the franchise going, while giving it an update instead of repeating the same thing over and over. And it could potentially continue with other Toy Story characters. It's just overly complicated and really hard to pay attention to. And, if I had problems with it, then I can't imagine children enjoying it. I'm not an expert on what children like, though, but I was at a birthday party with a bunch of parents of 5 year olds and I overheard a parent say that they went to see this with their daughter and she fell asleep within the first 20 minutes and all the other parents started to agree and say how terrible it was and how disinterested their kids are in it. So, I'm clearly not on my own in thinking that it's not really made for kids to enjoy (although the party was minions themed, so you can't always trust kids...). Also, Chris Evans has such a monotonous boring voice, I can totally understand why a 5 year old would fall asleep listening to him. The only good part was the cat, obviously. 

5. Thirteen Lives - It's so weird to me when a movie like this suddenly appears on a streaming service and I've seen ZERO people talking about it. It's Colin Farrell! And Viggo Mortensen! Directed by Ron Howard! About an incredible true story! Why is nobody talking about it?? It's *exactly* what you would expect it to be, but with such an amazing story like this, that is hardly an insult. The bravery, self-sacrifice, and heroism that went into rescuing these 13 people is truly astounding (and I totally just googled how many people were rescued as if it's not in the fucking title. Use your brains, Michelle!). Colin and Viggo do a satisfying job - most of their roles are underwater, but there are these really small scenes where you see their internal struggle and the pure torture of not knowing if they were going to be able to get these kids out. The accents are...weird. Not because they are bad, necessarily, but because you just don't expect either of them to have British accents (I think we've only seen them with their own or an American accent? And Viggo with that Italian accent in Green Book? Have they done a British accent before?? It just feels weird). But I was able to get passed it pretty quickly. It's rightly intense, but it does drag out the whole cave diving part (there's just a LOT of cave diving scenes - it becomes a bit tedious). I remember when this story happened and SO MANY people (at least in America) were very quick to judge everything and place unnecessary blame on certain people. But the reality is that the cave they went in was a well-known and visited cave, they just had very unfortunate timing. I would totally visit a cave like that (and I have - I even did one of those lava tube tunnels in Iceland). And then people were like "why can't they just swim out" as if a professional cave diver didn't die trying to get to them?? Like, obviously children can't handle that kind of danger. What's weird, though, is that I actually had no idea how they rescued them! I just remember hearing that they all were rescued and all had survived, but I never questioned how it happened. And how it happened is FUCKING WILD. I mean just imagine if that *didn't* work??? The responsibility of that decision is just mind-blowing. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Gray Man - I don't even care what it is, I will ALWAYS be excited about a new Ryan Gosling movie! It's been FOUR freakin' years! (although...I might be the only woman in the world not excited for the Barbie movie? It looks...horrendous? And I'm a big fan of a lot of that cast.). I have the book that this movie is based on (I think it's part of a series?), but I have not had the chance to read it yet. It's definitely my type of movie - very Bourne-like. While I think overall, the movie is fine, there are also some things I really like about it. Obviously, Gosling is the highlight. It's a perfect role for him that highlights his onscreen charisma, but also pushes him into new territory of the "action hero" (he truly can do it all! I still think he's best at the quieter more reserved roles, though). Julia Butters is a super-star. And I'm completely in love with Ana de Armas (especially in that floral suit - I need it!), and this Blade Runner 2049 reunion with her and Gosling is much appreciated. I hope they make movies together until the end of time. The action is relentless - in a mostly good way. There is one scene in particular that is so well done, it almost made me sad that I wasn't watching it on a big cinema screen. Unfortunately, it's also just a very unoriginal, paint-by-numbers action movie. And it's odd that the good guys are actually good actors, and the bad guys are...well, Chris Evans with a horrendous mustache, the guy from Bridgerton - who is one of the worst actors I've ever seen (even on that terrible show, him and the main girl were the worst parts of the show), and Jessica Hardwick in an extremely unflattering wig. I think it's weird that so many people praise Evans for...acting. He's hot, sure. But I've never, ever seen him be anything other than Chris Evans. But ultimately the biggest problem with this movie boils down to this anecdote: My husband came home from work about an hour into me watching this. He sat down on the couch and started watching with me, which is super rare (he doesn't really watch a lot of movies). He watched the whole rest of the movie and when it was over, he said "that was decent. Really short, though". I replied "oh there was a whole hour before you started watching it". "OH GOD REALLY?!" It's clearly a problem that someone can start the movie A WHOLE HOUR IN and feel like they haven't missed anything. He also said "wow, Chris Evans really can't act, can he?" LOL. 

2. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande - Well, I saw a few people say that this movie is quite lovely, but I had NO IDEA what it was about, so that was a bit of a shock. I figured it was about Emma Thompson having a relationship with a younger man (from the poster, obvi), but it's actually about her hiring a male prostitute because she has a really, really, really sad sex life. Seriously, her describing her sex life with her husband of 31 years is one of the saddest things I've ever heard and I really don't understand why women live that way?? I don't think sex is the most important aspect of a relationship at all, but she doesn't seem very emotionally fulfilled either or loved, even. Why waste away your life like that with someone who doesn't do everything they can to make you happy? Anyway, this is a cute, little 100 minute long dramedy. Emma Thompson is delightful, as per usual, and it's lovely and refreshing to see someone embrace a sort of sexual awakening in their 50s. I think women, in very general terms, tend to become more confident with their bodies as they get into their 40s & 50s. But I also think we finally come to the realization that all of the things we are insecure about don't matter at all to a guy that they are about to have sex with (they don't care about the little belly pouch, or if you shaved your legs that day, or if your thigh has a stretch mark. They are about to have sex. They. don't. care.). And I also don't even think that our insecurities come from men, because they mostly come from...other women. Wait, I've gone off track again, haven't I? The guy in this has a super sexy Irish accent (I don't know his name, but I recognize him. Maybe from Peaky Blinders? Is he in that? I can picture him in it.), but he's a little too "perfect" in this - the character is just very unrealistic (overly supportive, patience of a saint, and has abs like that? Just non-existent). It also has a few laugh out loud moments (her saying "safe word" got me real good).

3. The Princess - Another solid 3 star movie (I feel like that's all I watch nowadays. Just solid 3 star movies one after the other). I like Joey King a lot. I did not like her in that dumb Amazon/Blumhouse horror movie (I don't remember the name of it), but I still think she has great screen presence. She just needs to find better roles. I'm not sure this is really it, either. And I was really annoyed in the beginning when they show this tiny, tiny young girl fighting like 5 grown men - I wrote down in my notes "come on - she would have to have, like, extensive martial arts training" and then the next scene it shows her, extensively training in martial arts. Well, okay, then, I guess I'll buy into her being able to defeat men double & triple her size (but still not really...). It's very fast-paced and action-packed, but the story isn't very original and the fight scenes become a little tedious to sit through. I think it's a great movie for young girls to watch - although it might be a little too violent, it's still empowering, for sure. It kind of reminded me of Brave, which I loved. 

4. The Bob's Burgers Movie - Well, I didn't love this like I thought I would. I LOVE the tv series. It's so funny, uplifting, smart, ridiculous, and lovely all at the same time. It's so hard to even pick my favorite character, but it mostly goes back and forth between Louise and Gene. Louise is just overall hilarious and chaotic, but Gene makes me actually laugh-out-loud way more. But, I don't know, this movie fell really flat for me. I didn't hate it or anything. It's just nothing special. There are definitely funnier and more cinematic episodes that this movie would suggest (I saw quite a few people say that they were watching the movie having never watched the show, and that makes me sad because this movie wouldn't really make me seek out the show). I did laugh really, really hard at the line "you know what they say, babies come out of holes, but they never go into them". I'm still laughing at that, in fact. The plot is just dragged out way too long (you know, to make it long enough for a movie when it should have just been an episode or even a two-parter would have been more acceptable) and they've already done the whole Louise never takes her bunny ears off thing multiple times on the show so it felt really overdone. I just wish there was more substance to it and that it was a bit funnier (and shorter!). It's still fun, though, because these characters are wonderful.

5. Umma - Well, I know I seem to complain a lot about movies being "solid three stars" (as the previous four movies that I just wrote about are), but I guess it's better than watching atrocities like this. I really love Sandra Oh, and I can't wait for her to be a big movie star, but this just isn't it. She got out of Grey's Anatomy *just* in time (I can't believe I still watch that fucking show. It's been 17 years! Just kill me, please) and she was wonderful on Killing Eve in quite a complicated role. I went into this fairly blind, other than knowing Oh stars in it and that it is a horror. While it is atmospherically creepy, it is hardly scary. Unless you're scared of bees?? Then, maybe? But it's just very slow and basically nothing happens. Oh is great, as expected. And the girl who plays her daughter (Fivel Stewart) is stunning looking. I was curious if she was actually Korean - since it is about a Korean American family - because to me, she looks Native American. It turns out that she is both (and also Russian, Scottish, Japanese & Chinese). It's not really important, but as I said, just stunning. And she held her own with Oh, too. I'm interested to see where her career takes her. Anyway, I don't have much else to say about this movie. It's saved by the acting, but there is a whole lot of nothing to it.