Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Gray Man - I don't even care what it is, I will ALWAYS be excited about a new Ryan Gosling movie! It's been FOUR freakin' years! (although...I might be the only woman in the world not excited for the Barbie movie? It looks...horrendous? And I'm a big fan of a lot of that cast.). I have the book that this movie is based on (I think it's part of a series?), but I have not had the chance to read it yet. It's definitely my type of movie - very Bourne-like. While I think overall, the movie is fine, there are also some things I really like about it. Obviously, Gosling is the highlight. It's a perfect role for him that highlights his onscreen charisma, but also pushes him into new territory of the "action hero" (he truly can do it all! I still think he's best at the quieter more reserved roles, though). Julia Butters is a super-star. And I'm completely in love with Ana de Armas (especially in that floral suit - I need it!), and this Blade Runner 2049 reunion with her and Gosling is much appreciated. I hope they make movies together until the end of time. The action is relentless - in a mostly good way. There is one scene in particular that is so well done, it almost made me sad that I wasn't watching it on a big cinema screen. Unfortunately, it's also just a very unoriginal, paint-by-numbers action movie. And it's odd that the good guys are actually good actors, and the bad guys are...well, Chris Evans with a horrendous mustache, the guy from Bridgerton - who is one of the worst actors I've ever seen (even on that terrible show, him and the main girl were the worst parts of the show), and Jessica Hardwick in an extremely unflattering wig. I think it's weird that so many people praise Evans for...acting. He's hot, sure. But I've never, ever seen him be anything other than Chris Evans. But ultimately the biggest problem with this movie boils down to this anecdote: My husband came home from work about an hour into me watching this. He sat down on the couch and started watching with me, which is super rare (he doesn't really watch a lot of movies). He watched the whole rest of the movie and when it was over, he said "that was decent. Really short, though". I replied "oh there was a whole hour before you started watching it". "OH GOD REALLY?!" It's clearly a problem that someone can start the movie A WHOLE HOUR IN and feel like they haven't missed anything. He also said "wow, Chris Evans really can't act, can he?" LOL. 

2. Good Luck to You, Leo Grande - Well, I saw a few people say that this movie is quite lovely, but I had NO IDEA what it was about, so that was a bit of a shock. I figured it was about Emma Thompson having a relationship with a younger man (from the poster, obvi), but it's actually about her hiring a male prostitute because she has a really, really, really sad sex life. Seriously, her describing her sex life with her husband of 31 years is one of the saddest things I've ever heard and I really don't understand why women live that way?? I don't think sex is the most important aspect of a relationship at all, but she doesn't seem very emotionally fulfilled either or loved, even. Why waste away your life like that with someone who doesn't do everything they can to make you happy? Anyway, this is a cute, little 100 minute long dramedy. Emma Thompson is delightful, as per usual, and it's lovely and refreshing to see someone embrace a sort of sexual awakening in their 50s. I think women, in very general terms, tend to become more confident with their bodies as they get into their 40s & 50s. But I also think we finally come to the realization that all of the things we are insecure about don't matter at all to a guy that they are about to have sex with (they don't care about the little belly pouch, or if you shaved your legs that day, or if your thigh has a stretch mark. They are about to have sex. They. don't. care.). And I also don't even think that our insecurities come from men, because they mostly come from...other women. Wait, I've gone off track again, haven't I? The guy in this has a super sexy Irish accent (I don't know his name, but I recognize him. Maybe from Peaky Blinders? Is he in that? I can picture him in it.), but he's a little too "perfect" in this - the character is just very unrealistic (overly supportive, patience of a saint, and has abs like that? Just non-existent). It also has a few laugh out loud moments (her saying "safe word" got me real good).

3. The Princess - Another solid 3 star movie (I feel like that's all I watch nowadays. Just solid 3 star movies one after the other). I like Joey King a lot. I did not like her in that dumb Amazon/Blumhouse horror movie (I don't remember the name of it), but I still think she has great screen presence. She just needs to find better roles. I'm not sure this is really it, either. And I was really annoyed in the beginning when they show this tiny, tiny young girl fighting like 5 grown men - I wrote down in my notes "come on - she would have to have, like, extensive martial arts training" and then the next scene it shows her, extensively training in martial arts. Well, okay, then, I guess I'll buy into her being able to defeat men double & triple her size (but still not really...). It's very fast-paced and action-packed, but the story isn't very original and the fight scenes become a little tedious to sit through. I think it's a great movie for young girls to watch - although it might be a little too violent, it's still empowering, for sure. It kind of reminded me of Brave, which I loved. 

4. The Bob's Burgers Movie - Well, I didn't love this like I thought I would. I LOVE the tv series. It's so funny, uplifting, smart, ridiculous, and lovely all at the same time. It's so hard to even pick my favorite character, but it mostly goes back and forth between Louise and Gene. Louise is just overall hilarious and chaotic, but Gene makes me actually laugh-out-loud way more. But, I don't know, this movie fell really flat for me. I didn't hate it or anything. It's just nothing special. There are definitely funnier and more cinematic episodes that this movie would suggest (I saw quite a few people say that they were watching the movie having never watched the show, and that makes me sad because this movie wouldn't really make me seek out the show). I did laugh really, really hard at the line "you know what they say, babies come out of holes, but they never go into them". I'm still laughing at that, in fact. The plot is just dragged out way too long (you know, to make it long enough for a movie when it should have just been an episode or even a two-parter would have been more acceptable) and they've already done the whole Louise never takes her bunny ears off thing multiple times on the show so it felt really overdone. I just wish there was more substance to it and that it was a bit funnier (and shorter!). It's still fun, though, because these characters are wonderful.

5. Umma - Well, I know I seem to complain a lot about movies being "solid three stars" (as the previous four movies that I just wrote about are), but I guess it's better than watching atrocities like this. I really love Sandra Oh, and I can't wait for her to be a big movie star, but this just isn't it. She got out of Grey's Anatomy *just* in time (I can't believe I still watch that fucking show. It's been 17 years! Just kill me, please) and she was wonderful on Killing Eve in quite a complicated role. I went into this fairly blind, other than knowing Oh stars in it and that it is a horror. While it is atmospherically creepy, it is hardly scary. Unless you're scared of bees?? Then, maybe? But it's just very slow and basically nothing happens. Oh is great, as expected. And the girl who plays her daughter (Fivel Stewart) is stunning looking. I was curious if she was actually Korean - since it is about a Korean American family - because to me, she looks Native American. It turns out that she is both (and also Russian, Scottish, Japanese & Chinese). It's not really important, but as I said, just stunning. And she held her own with Oh, too. I'm interested to see where her career takes her. Anyway, I don't have much else to say about this movie. It's saved by the acting, but there is a whole lot of nothing to it.