Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Bros - While I think Billy Eichner is hilarious for the most part, I also think he was a bit delusional to think that this movie was going to ever be a blockbuster hit. Not only are we still in a pandemic and an economic crisis, the only blockbuster movies are Marvel movies or star Tom Cruise. Even the recent rom-com starring HUGE movie stars, Ticket to Paradise with Julia Roberts and George Clooney, went fairly under everyone's radar. Him blaming it on straight people not supporting it is disappointing and kinda bullshit, really. If they put it on streaming, I think it would have had way more buzz, a bigger audience, and still received the (somewhat puzzling) rave reviews. Just look at Happiest Season! That was a super gay rom-com that received a LOT of love. People expecting films to make bank are just not looking at reality, anymore. It's unfortunate, but it's not (necessarily) straight people's faults. I also think, that it was set up to fail. It's touted as the first studio backed rom-com, and I do think there is a bit of conspiracy to over-hype certain diverse projects so that when they don't hit the "blockbuster" numbers that were "estimated", then the studios can shrug and say "well, we tried". I mean, they released this in late September, which is more of a traditional time to release horror, not rom-coms. And it doesn't have any big names. Why, exactly, did they think it would do any better than it did? Anyway, this movie is cute. I laughed a few times, but it wasn't nearly as funny as I expected it to be. Overall, I found it a little dull and predictable. And the acting is atrocious. Eichner is just himself (and somehow even more annoying), and the guy from Brothers & Sisters is super hot, but he's a terrible actor. They have zero chemistry. I'm honestly a bit shocked at how well it was received. But, it's far better than the next movie in this post...

2. The People We Hate at the Wedding - I wasn't necessarily expecting this to be a great movie or anything, but I thought it looked cute? And it has a great cast of people that I usually like - Allison Janney, Dustin Milligan, Lizzy Caplan, etc. Plus, I sometimes like Kristen Bell. But unfortunately, it's really, really awful. It's just about terrible people being terrible and mean-spirited, and none of it is funny. There are also these very serious issues sprinkled in, like the multiple references to a miscarriage, that I just think doesn't belong in a light comedy like this (it just alienates so many people from enjoying a movie). I'll never understand sibling rivalries, either (I'm an only child). It just always seems weird to me if, like, one sibling is super successful and another isn't. Wouldn't you share??? It's just wild to me that there would be a class difference among siblings. Anyway, like I said above, the biggest problem here is that all of the characters are horrible, horrible people (you know...the kind that you hate at weddings?), so the audience does not care about them at all and will actively root against them for most of the film. There are a lot of moments that are supposed to be funny - like when they fall into the Thames, but I would liken that to falling in the Hudson and that is absolutely disgusting. And when the bride starts yelling at the retail worker in true "bridezilla" fashion as if that's acceptable or funny??? It's not. It's also not that big of a deal to go to a wedding alone? I don't think I've ever seen someone at a wedding alone and thought they were a "loser" (I don't even assume that they are single, either? Maybe they don't want to subject their partner to the awfulness of weddings?). I think the only thing I liked about this movie is the reunion between Bell and D'Arcy Carden (love them together!!). Otherwise, I can't think of one nice to say about it. It's weird that I was just putting together my best & worst list earlier today, and this doesn't make the cut for worst? Someone needs to stop me from watching so many terrible movies. 

3. Unhuman - I weirdly enjoyed this - for a dumb zombie horror movie, it is surprisingly entertaining and well-made. There's a lot to criticize, for sure. I can start with the acting - the main actress is the one from the I Know What You Did Last Summer tv show and she is just as terrible in this as she was on that show. Just atrocious (I do like the name "Ever" though. I might name my next kitty that). Just every single cast member is awful - and I think they are all newcomers and I hope I never see any of them again. And if you thought that was mean, just wait, because also NONE OF THEM ARE HOT. I don't understand?? I can't tell the difference between who is supposed to be a loser and who is supposed to be the popular one if they all...look...like....that. Sometimes I think this is just a reaction to me getting older, but then I watch other movies and shows, and it makes sense (like Euphoria for example. That Jacob guy is very attractive. Terrible actor, but attractive). I think it's this weird thing to erase societal standards of "attractiveness", but if you are telling the audience that "this is the hot, popular guy" then he needs to be, you know, hot. Anyway, I'm not sure if it's because of the acting, their lacking in attractiveness, or just terrible character development, but I did not care about any of them. They do really weird, non-realistic things, like argue for no reason even though their lives are being threatened and the world is seemingly being taken over by zombies. And also *please* never, ever, ever kiss someone after you've thrown up. It can wait, girl. Probably grosser than anything else in the entire movie. However, there is a super, duper fun twist that I don't think anyone can predict. And honestly, it just makes the whole movie worth it. There's also some funny dialogue (like after the bus hits someone and the chaperone guy says "Let's hope he was a racist, so we don't have to feel bad". That made me laugh for a full 5 minutes). I don't know, I can't really say that it's good, but I had fun watching it and that counts for something. 

4. Dual - Hmmmmm.....I love the concept of this movie, but I just don't think it's executed very well. It's not very original since a film with practically the same concept came out last year on Apple (Swan Song - it also wasn't very good), and it's influenced by previous works about "doubles" and "doppelgangers", such as Dostoyevsky's "The Double" and Jose Saramago's, also purposefully ironically titled novel, "The Double" (it's called Enemy for the movie version). I think this one takes things much farther than Swan Song does by exploring the complications that could occur if this cloning practice actually existed. The title is an interesting play on words with the often confused duel vs dual - the film could have easily been titled with either word and it would have worked. *spoilers ahead* In case you haven't worked it out yet - the plot is about being able to clone yourself if you know that you have a terminal illness so that your loved ones won't have to suffer your death. But then, this woman finds out that she's not actually dying, after her clone has already taken over her life. There's some great dialogue ("what's the point of fighting to live?" - something I ask myself every day and I've yet to find an answer), and asks some really interesting questions. However, the acting is really distracting. Clearly a stylistic choice, the absurdist, emotionless tone, is really painful to experience. I like Karen Gillan a lot - even though she's been in some terrible projects. I don't think she should be blamed for this, though, because as I said, it's definitely an intentional style that I just don't think works. It's also inconsistent - the only one that act this way are her, her clone and her doctor (everyone else seems normal including her mother & her boyfriend). The worst part is that I don't really care about the characters - the main character is a bit too pathetic and just severely unlikeable. I do relate to her relationship with her mother, though. I don't hate my mom, but she is very self-centered and doesn't listen to a word I say, so it's very hard to love her sometimes. Oh wait, the worst part is the white people trying to hip-hop dancing. CRINGE. 

5. Amsterdam - I know this got slammed by the critics, but I honestly thought that meant I would enjoy it because that seems to be the case this year (I loved Blonde, Men, Don't Worry Darling, Crimes of the Future, etc.), but unfortunately this is just as terrible as everyone said it was. Pretty shocking considering the talent involved, but sometimes it just all falls apart and it's like everyone is trusting each other that it's going to be successful, but nobody is pointing out the faults (does that make sense? I feel like it happens a lot - like the cast just put their blind trust in the other actors and O. Russell assuming everyone knows what they are doing). I tend to like O. Russell films, but they do seem like they are getting progressively worse (Joy is probably my least favorite of his, except for this disaster of course). This is, without question, the strongest cast in a movie this year - Margot Robbie, Christian Bale, Robert De Niro, Anya Taylor-Joy, Michael Shannon, Zoe Saldana, ANDREA RISEBOROUGH (!!), Matthais Schoenaerts, Chris Rock, etc., but then also John David Washington (who actually isn't bad here, but he sounds so much like Denzel it's actually distracting to me) and Rami Fucking Malek. I will concede that he at least attempts to act here, but he still comes off as cold and unfeeling and he somehow still seems like he has his Bohemian Rhapsody false teeth in? And I don't know who told Taylor Swift she could act, but they need to reel her in before she makes a fool of herself. I felt bad for her with the Cats fiasco, because that wasn't her fault - just completely miscast. But she's really bad in this (Please don't come after me Swifties! I have no hard feelings about Taylor - she's adorable and has some nice songs), and *spoiler* I laughed hysterically when she gets hit by the car. Some of the character eccentricities become a little distracting - it felt like the actors were all trying too hard to be quirky (the only one who succeeds is probably Bale. Sometimes I forget how good he is). Other than the cast, though, there is just nothing interesting about it. I honestly could not care less about the mystery at all (something about dodgy medical practices??). I don't think it's particularly interesting to look at either - the colors are very muted and bland which is off-putting. For the first hour, I thought, well this isn't bad, necessarily, just boring - but it never really picks up so watching another hour of it becomes pretty painful.