Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Stillwater - When I started watching this, I pulled up some reviews real quick expecting mostly mediocre reviews, but there are a surprising amount of good ones?! I assumed it bombed because I hadn't heard much about it, especially since Matt Damon is usually a box office draw. But anyway, I didn't actually like it, so my initial expectations were right. The only thing I knew about it beforehand was that it was inspired by the Amanda Knox story, which she responded to with a very negative article denouncing the film for using her life story for entertainment without her consent. It was a very well-written, interesting article, but honestly, if she hadn't written it, I would not connect this movie to her story at all. It's a story of a father trying to prove his daughter's innocence by taking the investigation into his own hands (which is not an original story - Prisoners and Secret in Their Eyes instantly came to my mind). As far as I know, Amanda's father had nothing to do with her acquittal, and not much about this case compares to Amanda's, other than her being accused of killing her roommate in another country. Anyway, other than that, the movie is just pretty painful - very slow, very boring. Damon's southern accent is...something. And Abigail Breslin is not a good actress. She used to be, but wow...spectacularly bad now. There are also so many wasteful scenes - there is a 10 minute long scene where he just asks strangers if they've seen Akim. Just over and over again. We don't need to see him ask all of these people - it can easily be implied. There's just nothing about it that feels compelling nor does it feel as intense as it should feel. 

2. The Northman - I have to admit that I didn't go into this movie with the highest of hopes, simply because I have not liked Eggers previous directorial efforts. And by "not like", I mean that I pretty much fucking hated them - both The VVitch and The Lighthouse are just the most boring and pretentious films to be released in the last decade, but people just eat that shit up. I do try my best to keep an open mind when watching any movie. But, I can't really say that I liked this. I liked it more than the two movies that I just mentioned, but I don't think that's saying much. It's very well-made, and far more watchable than his other efforts. It's just not for me - the raping and pillaging of towns, the savageness of it, keeps it grounded in reality, but just not something that I need to witness. I am a big fan of mythology - but mostly Greek and Roman, I'm not as familiar with Norse mythology (although I bought a book about it when I was in Iceland, but have not read it yet). I think if you have a familiarity or even some general knowledge of it, you might get more out of it than I did. I think my two biggest problems with it are (1) It feels so bloated. It doesn't really get to the good part until 90 MINUTES in. Kidman is incredible in that scene - overcoming that weird-ass accent she was attempting (why does she keep insisting that she can do accents? Even her American one is wonky sometimes). But there's just so much nonsense leading up to it that feels so unnecessary. And (2) I can not get over Kidman playing Alexander Skarsgard's MOM. They are 10 years apart and play husband and wife in Big Little Lies. It doesn't work AT ALL, because Nicole Kidman looks AMAZING at 55 - can easily pass for mid-40s. And Skarsgard, also looks...mid 40s. There's no clear distinction on his age, but it goes from him being a child (early teens I think) to "years later", but he is clearly, at least, 25 YEARS OLDER. And his love interest, the wonderful, Anya Taylor-Joy, is completely wasted in this, and also 20 YEARS YOUNGER than him. It's not totally unrealistic, given the time period (or even now...), but it just hurts my brain to the point where I can't focus on the story in front of me. 

3. The Card Counter - I think this is a solid movie, but it definitely could have been better, so ultimately it feels a little disappointing. I haven't really loved a Paul Schrader written and/or directed film since...American Gigolo (although, looking up his filmography, there seems to be so many movies I've never even heard of?! How weird! Also, I didn't hate First Reformed, I just didn't love it as much as everyone else seemed to). I didn't know much about this going in, so I just assumed it was about...uh...a...card counter? Which it is, to an extent, but the real story is far darker, and very unexpected. But back to the obvious part for a second - first, you might already know this, but I LOVE gambling and playing cards. But I'll never understand why card counting is illegal. I feel like if you have the brain capacity to do that, then you deserve to have that advantage. I think the trick is to keep it small, like he does in the beginning - nobody is going to care if you keep winning a few hundred bucks here and there. But people get greedy. Also, on a side-note, one of the biggest reasons I hate Blackjack is because I'm always worried that someone is counting the cards at the table and I'm going to do something to fuck up the count (because I go by gut feelings and intuition and my witch powers, not by what the "rules" say). I do love Poker, though. I think it's harder to count and it's based more on statistics and bluffing, etc (but again, I just go by my gut). I literally SCREAMED when the woman folded with a pair of aces (the winning hand) and this is why I can't watch Poker tournaments because I get so distraught when someone gets bluffed. Anyway, I won't give away what the actual movie is about because I think it hits harder if you don't know, but it is a very strong story. And the soundtrack and score is incredible. Oscar Isaac gives a strong lead performance (probably among my favorites of his). There's a few downsides - Tiffany Haddish is just awful. I don't think she's funny at all, but she's also a terrible actress - it looks like she's reading off of a cue card for most of this. And there is no chemistry between them, and I'm pretty sure there is supposed to be? 

4. Lamb - I was kind of excited about this - I love Noomi Rapace and I thought this looked like a more serious/horror version of the film Splice. That was the pre-vibe that I got from this. But...unfortunately it's kind of dull. Not horror at all. More of a drama about parenthood - the choices one makes and who you decide to consider family, but also about taking something that doesn't belong to you. It can definitely be interpreted into an unsettling tale of an adoption gone wrong. Obviously it's also about an animal/human hybrid - and that alone has a lot of mythological and allegorical messages. Sheep are such majestic animals - we don't see them much in the U.S unless you're from the mid-west (at least I don't think? even farms in upstate NY had horses, pigs, cows, even alpacas, but never sheep). When I went to Ireland I was obsessed with watching for sheep and then we drove down this tiny road and we got stuck behind someone herding a huge flock of them. It was the best thing that's ever happened to me. Anyway, this movie has a pretty creepy feeling for its entirety, but it never quite gets there until the end. Which *spoilers ahead* I'm happy that they show the adult human/sheep hybrid so that we aren't left with the feeling that her husband fucked a sheep because that's where I honestly thought they were going (either her husband or his brother). I mean, it's still implied that someone fucked a sheep, but at least it's no-one from this story. 

5. The Valet - Really fucking stupid, which I *knew* it would be, obviously. But I love Samara Weaving so much, I would watch literally anything that she is in. And I have to say, my bias might be showing here, but she is spectacular in this. Her line delivery is spot-on and I think it's hard for actors to play actors, especially if they are different then what they would actually do in a specific role - this doesn't really make sense unless you've seen it, but Weaving plays an actress who has a big movie coming out in which she plays Amelia Earhart - and she does it in this really over-dramatic and cheesy fashion, but in reality Weaving would probably make a great Amelia Earhart. And speaking of this - my favorite line in the whole movie is when she says "I'm not doing this for you, I'm doing this for Amelia Earhart!" with such gusto. I almost spit out my drink because that is exactly how delusional actors are and it's hilarious how she makes fun of it. I also laughed when they showed her weird sitting/standing move in the limo so that she doesn't wrinkle the dress. But back to how awful the rest of this movie is - it's somehow two hours long, which is absolutely unnecessary. It's been a long time since I haven't been able to finish a movie, but this is just so long and so boring that I had to stop it about 1/2 way through and watch the rest the following morning. It literally put me to sleep. The plot is basically Marry Me, with a few changes, but somehow that movie is far superior to this. I like Eugenio Derbez and the rest of the cast (oh I forgot Marisol Nichols is also in this! I love her), but he has sort of three love interests in this, but he is far too old for all of them! Stop doing this, Hollywood. I hate it.