Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Joe Bell - The only think I knew about this movie is that it stars Marky Mark wearing an American Flag baseball hat, so I assumed it was another one of his "go America" propaganda movies, but it's not at all. It seems like this was a well publicized story, but if you, like me, have never heard of Joe Bell, it's about this man from middle America who loses his son to suicide after being bullied by his school peers for being gay. Bell goes on a quest to walk to New York City, all while promoting anti-bullying messages in small towns along the way in honor of his son. It's a great story, but this movie is painful. The only good thing is Marky Mark - who plays an angry, entitled white guy from middle America very well. It's obvious from the very first second that the kid is dead and he's talking to himself, but they don't tell you that until about 40 minutes in, which is a weird choice. The actor playing his son is really awful and looks nothing like Wahlberg so that's a big failure in casting. And while I do think the story is one that many could connect to, I personally think these redemption stories in which someone goes on a hike, walk, adventure, etc., are weird and usually pretty narcissistic. Like, why did he go on this journey, pretty much abandoning his family and ignoring the actual people who harmed his son? I looked up the story while I was watching this (it's very boring) only to find out that this guy gets hit by a fucking truck while walking on the side of the road! How fucked is that?? Makes the whole thing so pointless, really. 

2. Riders of Justice - I loved this! I didn't hear much about it, but I saw a few others mention it among the best of 2021 and it stars Mads Mikkelsen, so it moved right up the list and I'm so glad it did. It's darkly funny, incredibly violent, and an interesting take on the butterfly effect - and how humans will never really full grasp the idea because it's so expansive. But, it tries to take it to a human level of how we process grief and the constant idea of "what if?". The cast is incredible - not just Mads. The supporting cast is hilarious and they all have such wonderful chemistry together. His daughter reminds me of the girl from Babyteeth that I don't like (I actually looked it up to see if it was her), but luckily she's a far better actress. There are just some really undeniably memorable moments - like when the mathematician guy is pretending to be a psychologist and he says to the daughter "you're not dead inside. But you're chubby. A chubby little salami". I spit my water out with that line. I also thought there was an interesting line about Chess - not really a game I like, but I never really thought about how it has zero unknown factors like every other game (i.e dice, luck of the draw, jokers wild). That's kind of cool, and now I want to learn how to play it (weird that this did it in one line, while I watched all of The Queen's Gambit and still thought it looked incredibly boring...). Anyway, this is definitely one of my favorite movies of the year, and the fact that they ended it with them sitting around in Christmas sweaters is so satisfying. 

3. Free Guy - I had the idea that this was going to be fun??? It's...not. I lost interest about 30 minutes in, mostly because I didn't realize there would be an actual plot I had to follow - I thought it was just going to be a funny dumb video game adventure but it takes way too much energy to follow. It also feels really dated. Maybe if this came out 10/15 years ago, it might have been more interesting. Ryan Reynolds is grating here, just spouting out the dumbest one-liners with no personality at all. And they just kept repeatedly mentioning how "insanely hot" blue shirt guy is, and I kept getting confused because Reynolds has never been hot to me, not ever. I'll take the abs, but the rest of him can go. I was interested in seeing Jodie Comer in something different (I've only ever seen her in Killing Eve, which she is spectacular in, but I've learned my lesson with the Rami Malek/Mr. Robot fiasco. Now I'm more hesitant to praise someone for just one sublime role). She's fine here. A little dull, but fine. I didn't realize how young she actually is, but she looks really young in this (the real version of her not the video game version), and I honestly clocked her as being about a decade older. Also, I'm not sure if that's Taika's real accent or what accent he was even trying to do, but it sounded really unnatural (but I don't know if I know what a New Zealand accent sounds like?). He's a bit over-the-top as the villain of the story. And the much talked about cameos are barely existent??? I saw Channing Tatum for a hot second, heard Hugh Jackman's voice (not sure if he was in it too, but I definitely zoned out for minutes at a time), and instantly cried when I saw Alex Trebek (I miss him so much!). I will say I laughed out loud once and that was at the "Wrecking Ball" gag. But other than that, this is a complete snoozefest. I can't believe some of you guys thought this was fun. 

4. Being the Ricardos - Casting drama aside, I didn't think I would not like this. I tend to like Sorkin projects (although, maybe not his movies? maybe that's the problem?). This is...not good. It's just so odd to do a movie about a beloved comedic icon, but only show her in her bitchiest moments. And I DO think that's partly the castings fault. Because, I'm sorry, I love Nicole Kidman, but as I've said many times - she's cold (I know many see this as an insult, but I'm often called cold. It's probably in the top 3 adjectives people would describe me as, along with "nice" and "patient". I just don't have the warmth to me). But also, it just focuses so much on her being awful, rude, and inconsiderate of others around her, and I don't think the audience wants to see that? And it's not that I don't believe that she was probably a bitch sometimes (she was pioneering television sitcoms, a notoriously man's world - she probably had no choice), but I'm sure she had more layers to her than that. And I think it would have been better to show the frustration behind her bitchiness rather than have her be the instigator. The whole tone of the movie just feels off, to me. And back to the casting - I HATE the casting of this movie so, so, so much (and, again, I love both of these actors). These are just two very specific icons who have very specific voices, accents, mannerisms - and it's essential to get it right. Kidman just feels like Kidman with very, very bad makeup. And Javier Bardem does not embody Dezi Arnaz's essence at all (and as the dialogue itself says "he's a Cuban icon"; not having a Cuban play him is frustrating, but I would have forgiven it if Bardem nailed the performance). I also think J.K. Simmons as Fred (sorry I don't know the actor's name, only the character) is weird - it makes sense in a way, but also J.K. is, himself, a very recognizable face and voice, so he never becomes Fred for me. So, not liking the casting nor the tone of the story, let's see what else is there....oh yeah, the editing! Which is also...terrible! The time jumps are confusing and unnecessary. It feels like essential scenes are missing, and it is far too long. I thought it was almost over when she gets dropped by RKO, but there is still a whole hour to go after that (*bangs head against wall*). Ok, I think that's everything I hated, so here is some actual good stuff: The recreation scenes of the sitcom are far better than the real world stuff. And, I had no idea how hard Lucy and Desi had to push to show Lucy pregnant on the show nor did I realize she revolutionized depicting pregnancy on television. That's so interesting! Um...that's all I got. 

5. Don't Look Up - I don't really care about the film critic discourse (it's mostly mind-bogglingly stupid), this movie is...average. It's got some good parts, some bad parts, and mostly boring parts. Honestly, it's so exhausting just to think about writing my thoughts down. Not because the ideas are complex but because they are so simplified and obvious that I spent most of the movie rolling my eyes. It's, like, really weird that people assume if you didn't LOVE the movie that you must be against climate control or a right-wing lunatic, instead of not liking it because it's...got a lot to not like? Like the entire middle part that dragged out for so long that I almost fell asleep? Or Jennifer Lawrence's terrible acting (and hair cut - is it supposed to be funny?)? Or the seemingly elitist "this movie is smarter than you" attitude, when it's actually really stupid? Just some of the many problems I had with it. Anyone with half a brain knows that this movie is about climate change, and not about an actual comet hurtling towards Earth, while the whole world focuses on pop culture and the wrong headlines instead of DOING SOMETHING ABOUT IT. But I think it would have been smarter and funnier (and a better satire) if instead of focusing on the oblivious, they focused on performative actions that everyone seems obsessed with nowadays that aren't actually fucking doing anything (they sort of get there with the whole Ariana performance bit). But anyyyyway...like I said in the beginning - there are some good parts. Considerable amount of talent - DiCaprio, Streep, Blanchett, Hill all knock it out of the park. The running joke with the General charging them for the snacks really made me giggle. The fact that the comet that is going to wipe out the planet is named after Lawrence's character ("congratulations!"). Genuinely funny moments. And the casting of Melanie Lynskey as DiCaprio's wife is satire in itself, considering who he usually dates (i.e much younger women, usually models. Note: this is not a dig at Lynskey in any way - she's beautiful). Overall, this is very much a 2 1/2 star movie, but then the end happens and it's actually really, really beautiful - the way they just sit and eat dinner together enjoying small talk together ("we really did have everything...didn't we?"). I bumped it to 3 stars for those last 15 minutes (but then they ruin it with a joke ending that I'm pretending doesn't exist).