1. Saint Frances - Well, I was not expecting this movie to anger me as much as it did; nor did I expect to hate the main character so very much. Just thinking about it makes me brain hurt, especially because I saw so many positive responses to this movie (I actually saw a female critic describe it as a "feel good" movie and WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING). So here are all the reasons I hate this character: First, and probably the least important but most frustrating, apparently this woman is supposed to look young, as someone confuses her for being in her 20s - but, I'm sorry, she looks my age (40). But the frustrating part is that she's one of those actresses that has had her age wiped from IMDB. I
get the reason behind this, but ultimately it feels like it's shaming women for aging. And don't put a woman onscreen and tell me she's supposed to look 20-something when she looks 40. If you google her you can find her birthday listed as 1983/84 which means she was around 36 when filming this. Her character is supposed to be 34. Sure. She can pass for an older looking 34 year old, but nobody would confuse her for 20s. Second, the age is actually important here, because she's supposed to be a typical "failure to launch" type character (but female). But instead, she just comes off as incredibly stupid to me. She's surprised when she gets her period? I get that in your 20s you're still trying to figure out your body and your cycle, but by the time your 34 you should, like, know if something is normal or not? There's no reference to her being like "my cycle is unpredictable" instead she's just like "oops my bad!". Aside from the fact that it's astounding to me that some women don't experience the overwhelming feeling of wanting to literally die from PMS (both mentally and physically), I personally can never imagine just
not knowing that I'm about to get my period. And she also thinks that "pulling out" is an actual birth control method...at 34. While I do like that she's unapologetically not on birth control (TMI, I'm not either and I never have been because the side-effects are OUTRAGEOUS compared to the side-effects of condoms). And I know that I'm talking a lot about periods and birth control, which might make some uncomfortable, but the ONLY positive thing about this movie is that it allows space for this discussion that is often seen as taboo in films. It's an incredibly female-centric story that hits on these topics along with discussions about abortions, motherhood, PPD, and also - another taboo topic - being a woman who has no interest in motherhood OR having a high-powered career (there's always talk about women who have to either choose or juggle both, but what about women who want neither?). It's strange that I
do connect with this character, but I just wish she was written differently. Third, during a very emotionally resonating scene towards the end that combines all of these important discussions I just referred to, she states "I don't know why I'm crying. I'm an agnostic feminist". Which just erases everything that comes before it. There's this whole imaginary battle between being a feminist and being pro-motherhood that this is just amplifying instead of erasing it. And what does being agnostic have anything to do with being emotional and empathetic? As if "agnostic feminists" are just cold-hearted bitches, really. How angering is that? Anyway, I've written all of this and I haven't even gotten to the actual movie yet. The idea behind it is strong, but there are just too many moments of frustration for me to really engage with it in a positive way. And, it's about a woman having an abortion so if you describe that as a "feel good" movie, you might need some therapy, in my opinion.
I can honestly say that I have no idea what I watched. I watched for Josh Hartnett (and am so happy that he's in so much nowadays!), but I guess I didn't really expect it to be so trippy. There's no real narrative, very little dialogue, and some very odd scenes (that are also mostly very beautiful to look at). I guess it's told in these little vignette type stories, but they don't really seem to relate to each other. I think it's supposed to reflect class distinctions by showing the gluttony of wealthy people vs Native Americans still living off the land. But there's a lot of metaphor type imagery that just isn't interesting enough to do any sort of deep dive into, but there's also a lot of overtly obvious imagery that makes me roll my eyes (one of the characters fucks the dirt - like literally fucks the ground below him). It's one of those films that feels like it's
trying to be weird and confusing, but ultimately it feels really hollow. I would love to say that it's worth it for Josh, but it's really, really not.
3. The Mad Women's Ball - I was really excited for this movie. I'm a big fan of Melanie Laurent, and it's always super cool when an actor/actress ups their game and gets behind the camera. And like
Saint Frances, it's also super cool that it's completely unapologetically a female-centric story. The idea of hysteria in women obviously goes way back (this takes place in the 19th century), and the mistreatment of women (and people, in general) who suffer from mental disorders isn't really a new topic, but I really love how this movie doesn't ever try to erase this woman's "madness", which is that she can see ghosts. We're never really given any medical diagnosis other than her being "mad" i.e "crazy", but instead it's just sort of accepted as truth by several who are eventually convinced of her ability. I mean, honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm fucking crazy - and have these weird abilities that I don't understand. Just a few months ago, on my birthday, we were at a hotel, waiting for the elevator and I said "actually, we can't get on this elevator". I don't know
why I said it - it just came out. So my boyfriend begrudgingly agreed to take the stairs. We went to dinner, came back a few hours later and there was an "out of order" sign on the elevator (and it didn't work for the entire rest of our trip). We were so freaked out by it, but my bf is very scientific (as am I), so he's convinced that I must have heard something without realizing it, that triggered my adverse reaction to using the elevator (like either a mechanical noise, or possibly workers already talking about it not working?). But for me, it's just that I
knew we shouldn't get on it. And that's just a small, recent example - shit like that happens to me all the time and my bf continually tries to rationalize it, but after 5 years together, he's slowly admitting that I have weird psychic abilities that can't be explained. And if I lived in a different timeline, I would definitely have been locked up or burned at the stake. Anyway, I did like this movie. It wasn't as interesting or memorable as I wanted it to be be, but there are some beautiful shots and the acting is strong, as expected.
4. Intrusion - *spoilers* What a fucking load of crap. I saw this described as a "tv movie", but it's hard to even know what that means anymore in terms of quality. But it is definitely old school "tv movie" quality (i.e terrible). I like Freida Pinto and Logan Marshall-Green (although, he'll always be Trey Atwood to me, so technically....my brother-in-law?), but they are spectacularly bad in this movie. Logan does a weird, unnatural voice that instantly makes him creepy. The worst part, though, is the predictable storytelling. The foreshadowing is insane - the way he pushes the filing cabinet in such an overdramatic fashion (I was instantly like "oh...wonder what's behind there??" and then the noise that the "house" makes during the police visit. It's so fucking obvious that the missing girl is in the house.). I appreciate that she begins to suspect her husband quite quickly...but it also doesn't make any sense? And if she does suspect him, then why wouldn't she instantly go to the police? I mean, we're talking about a missing girl. It's just particularly annoying because it
could be a good movie - if they weren't so fucking obvious about everything from the very beginning. It would be interesting to watch this woman suspect that her perfect husband is actually a psychopath (obviously, it's been done a million times, but it's still a fascinating topic), but instead the audience is like "OH HE'S BATSHIT CRAZY, GIRL", almost instantly. The end is also incredibly dumb - the way she just discovers his hiding place and *walks right into it* without calling the police or making a big scene about it first. If I discovered a secret door in my house (that my husband BUILT HIMSELF), I would NOT just walk down the creepy fucking steps essentially trapping myself?! Also, I actually have one of those stupid touristy Big Ben metal trinket statues and it weighs
maybe 2lbs and would definitely not kill someone. Why didn't she grab a knife for fuck sake?? It will definitely make my "Worst of 2021" list.
5. Nightbooks - This is a very average kids horror movie. It reminded me of the
Goosebumps stories or that
Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark movie, but slightly better. Casting Krysten Ritter as a witch with blue hair is obviously a win (and that pearl capelet that she wears towards the beginning is TO DIE FOR). She does campy so well that it's actually super cool. I'm actually envious of how cheesy she can be but still be ridiculously hot? It's annoying, actually (but I love her). The kids in it are super cute - the main kid is like a mini Patton Oswald (just adorable, really). I think my biggest criticism is that it just *starts* right away without getting to know this kid at all. And also when he comes back, obviously, it would be a bigger deal and his parents would ask a million questions (and there would be police involved!), but it's very much "kids fairytale" type storytelling. I can see many sequels and possibly spin-offs, as well, but unfortunately I haven't seen many people talk about it at all? I may have just missed it because I feel like the discourse for streaming movies last exactly 2 days and then it's never heard from again.
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