Tuesday, August 9, 2011

4 Films That I am Glad I Skipped in the Theater

I caught up on some DVD's this week - all of which were disappointing. Here are my thoughts...

1. The Green Hornet - I admit that I am not familiar with the original but the idea of a superhero film starring Seth Rogen directed by Michel Gondry was very appealing to me. Then the trailer features them rapping along to Coolio's 'Gangsta's Paradise' and I was sold. Unfortunately, this little scene is probably the only entertaining part of the whole film. My biggest problem with the film was probably the acting. First, it is a good thing that James Franco was only in the beginning because his over-acting was off the chart. Second, Seth Rogen is not the best actor and like I have said before - he is better in smaller doses (like Superbad) and his voice becomes grating after about an hour. Also, he spends the film wondering why he can't nail Cameron Diaz - it's because she is Cameron Fucking Diaz and you are....you. Third, the guy that played Kato gave possibly the worst performance I have seen all year. Broken English is not funny unless you are Chang from The Hangover. I did appreciate that they gave Edward Furlong a job - poor guy is such a mess. I miss his talent and am rooting for a comeback. Other than the acting issues, the overall film was pretty dull - there was one really cool fight scene (the first one where Kato identifies all of the items that can be used for potential weapons). I got really bored after about an hour and the film just never recovered.

2. Sucker Punch - The best way I can describe this film is by quoting from The Australian Sun Times "consider yourself punched, sucker". That is exactly how I feel - because the film started out with such beauty and emotion - it was sort of breath taking. Then it turned into something so truly awful I don't even know how to describe it - it was like being punched in the stomach. The film revolves around "Baby Doll" who while trying to protect her sister from her evil step-father ends up killing her by accident. Her step-father then puts her into a mental institution. Then the film turns into another film about a group of dancers (which is really just the girls in the mental institution - imagining a different reality for themselves). Then a third film comes into play - the video game, eye candy extraordinaire. While "Baby Doll" dances - she imagines a world where she is fighting off dragons and robots in order to acquire things she will need to escape. I think I am making the film sound more interesting than it is because in theory it sounds awesome. In reality, it is painful - the action sequences are beautiful and boring at the same time, the acting is non-existent (although I think Emily Browning did a fantastic job at the beginning and the end of the film. On a side note: doesn't she look like Dianna Agron? The resemblance was distracting) and the film really had no point - like at all.

3. Source Code - This film wasn't actually that bad - I just read some really good reviews so I was expecting better. The plot was weird but not as original as it pretends to be (it reminded me of Premonition and Deja Vu). Instead of time travel they use fancy terms like "time reassignment" and "parallel reality". The problem with these types of films is that you are forced to sit through the same scenes over and over again. Yes, they are all a little different each time - but none of it is all that interesting. I predicted who the bad guy was after the second go around - it is pretty obvious. I do love both Michelle Monaghan and Vera Farmiga - but both were underutilized. It was pretty mediocre on all accounts.

4. Insidious - The most disappointing of all - I had heard nothing but great things about this film. Reviewers claiming it to be a throwback to great horror films like Poltergeist and The Omen. The opening credits were nothing short of brilliant - the beautiful and creepy black and white still shots of the house each with something askew like a swinging ceiling light or a crooked picture. I could literally just watch 2 hours of that. It definitely set an incredibly high expectation for the rest of the film. The turning point of the film happened when the family became stupid (wouldn't you call the police when your house alarm goes off and the door that you just locked is suddenly opened???!). Then my attention for the film completely disappeared when they started talking about "travelers" and "astral projection" - it just became a silly ghost movie that was hardly scary. Even my theory that "kids are always creepy" is ruined here because the kid spends most of the film in a coma. I do love Rose Byrne and Patrick Wilson - they are the only reason I continued to watch.

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