Thoughts on 5 Films

1. News of the World - This is one of those movies that I assumed was probably really good, but I absolutely just dreaded watching it. I had a similar feeling for the previous Paul Greengrass/Tom Hanks collaboration Captain Phillips and, of course, I ended up really loving it. Unfortunately, this movie just bored me to tears. There's some beautifully intense scenes, as expected. And Hanks is great. The young girl is also good, but I don't think her performance is memorable enough to reach award-worthy (she was considered "snubbed" for the Oscar nod after gaining a Golden Globe nomination). She reminded me of Hanna (the character and the actress, and I mean the excellent tv version not the mediocre Saoirse Ronan one). But I think I'm just not really a fan of Westerns (there are exceptions, of course, but I'm currently trying to watch Deadwood which is highly considered as one of the greatest television shows ever, and I just can't get into it). There's just something about the color palette and cliche of it all that makes me want to take a nap. I did like the bond between these two, but other than that I don't really have much else to say about it. 

2. The Many Saints of Newark - Other than some stunning casting decisions, I don't really have much else to say about this movie, either. So, first let's just talk about the cast - my absolute favorite casting is Corey Stoll as Junior Soprano. It's so perfect, I could cry just thinking about it. Billy Magnussen and John Magaro as Paulie and Silvio, also perfect. And even though she barely had any lines, the girl who played a teenage Janice, again...perfect. Adding in two of the most loved NJ natives, Vera Farmiga and Ray Liotta, to the Sopranos family is...guess what...yup, you guessed it...perfect. But that's where the perfection ends. I don't think that anyone could do a young Tony Soprano justice, so casting his son is probably the best option but it just didn't work for me. And I don't really like Leslie Odom Jr, but at least he doesn't sing in this (it's really his voice that I don't like, his acting is fine, I guess). Alessandro Nivola did a fine job in the lead role, but casting someone from Boston should be illegal, in my opinion. And you can always tell when someone is trying to do a NJ accent - even if it's good, it still felt a little forced. As for the film, it's just...pointless? I love The Sopranos as much as anyone else, but living in NJ for the past 12 (ish?) years, I have more appreciation for the impact it has here. I remember when I first moved here, literally everyone I met had a Sopranos "connection" ("my aunt is friends with Gandolfini's cousin", "parts of it was filmed on my street", "my nephew was one of the background actors", etc. The best I have is that Edie Falco went to the same college as me. It was 20 years before me, but still.). I just don't really think a prequel is necessary, and if you're going to do it, it needs to be perfect. And this just isn't it. Tony Soprano stealing an ice cream truck and giving out free ice cream to the neighborhood kids is just something I never needed to see. I don't even really have anything too negative to say about it, but it's just so very blah. 

3. The Guilty - I remember when that Halle Berry movie, The Call, came out a while ago and I thought it was really interesting to do a movie about 911 operators because it seems like such a stressful and also quite unfulfilling job. That movie wasn't really that good, but for one reason it became quite memorable for me. And that one reason is: Guilt. It always stuck with me - the way she feels so guilty for something that's not really her fault. These people really have to think on their feet for such varying situations and sometimes they will inevitable make mistakes that could have deadly consequences. I thought that this movie was going to focus more on this topic, but instead The Guilty is focusing on a cop who is assigned to a call dispatch center while awaiting a trial for a previous (unknown to the audience) call of duty situation. I'm sorry, but as an audience member, if you put together the fact that it's about a demoted police officer and it's titled THE GUILTY, you can figure out how it's going to end. Also, the call that he gets that is the catalyst for the plot, is quite off from the beginning so I instantly figured out that things weren't as they seem. And yet, I saw multiple reviews calling the twist "excellent". It's honestly one of the most OBVIOUS movies I've seen in a while. And maybe because it seems so obvious, it also seems incredibly dumb (whhyyyy would her "captor" let her keep using the phone? And why would he keep answering the phone? SO DUMB *rolls eyes*). Gyllenhaal does his best with it, but this made me realize that I might not be the biggest fan of Antoine Fuqua? For such a praised director, I was surprised when I looked at his IMDB page and realized he only really has one movie that's above mediocre (Training Day, obviously). And I would probably rate this movie as 3 stars, because even with the obvious plot, it's still well-made and well-acted. But then the ending is just so neat and tidy with no real consequence for anyone - it's just such an utter disappointment. Also, I was super excited for Riley Keough and she's not actually in it - just her voice (and she oddly sounds like Judy Greer?).

4. My Son - I'm in love with James McAvoy, obviously. And even though he is an extremely popular actor with big franchises under his belt, I still think he's really underrated? Other than the fact that he should have at least 6 Oscar nominations and has ZERO, he also takes huge risks in his career choices. From taking on something like Split and Glass where he had to play a dozen different characters within seconds of each other, to The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby which tells the same story from three different perspectives, to something like Filth where he is basically a completely unhinged person that you can't take your eyes off of.  I really feel like he truly loves acting and appreciates it as an art form, and not just a paycheck. What's been referred to as a "gimmick" for this movie, is actually incredibly brave for an actor to choose to under-take. If you don't know - McAvoy wasn't given a full script for this, so he had to improvise based on the other actors dialogue/action. I think it's a super cool idea - and honestly, I could not tell you which parts were improvised so McAvoy succeeds in every aspect. It's completely smooth, and if you watched it without knowing the "gimmick", I highly doubt anyone would have any idea that's how it was created. Claire Foy is also incredible, and I feel like they have really great, intense chemistry together. I like this movie for the acting and the experiment, but I wish the story was stronger, though. It kind of goes nowhere and it ends really flatly. I'm surprised that I found this streaming for free on Peacock - is that a legitimate streaming service for films now? I need someone to make a map of all the streaming services and when you have to pay extra (I get Peacock for free for some reason, but some things are blocked and you have to pay extra which is super annoying because I started watching Dr. Death but after 3 episodes it makes you sign up for the premium service to watch the rest. Which is annoying, but fine. However, it's weird that I can stream a brand new 2021 movie for free?). But back to me being in love with James - he looks so good in this with his slightly greyish hair and his natural accent. He's just so dreamy. 

5. Together - And speaking of being in love with James McAvoy, I had to watch this movie as soon as possible (I actually paid to rent it, which is super rare for me - I usually just wait until they are free nowadays. I'm a very patient person). I read that this was a quarantine relationship drama, and I had my reservations (Locked Down was basically the same but they added a heist, and it was also Not Good), but I also have faith that McAvoy can make anything worth watching. As I said in my post on Locked Down, I never really got the whole lockdown experience that most people had. I definitely saw a lot of people complaining about the amount of time they had to spend with their family or significant other, both online and from friends of mine. I think the immediate reaction is to be snarky (why are you with someone that you don't like being around?), but ultimately you're not really supposed to be around someone 24 hours a day. I would have gone insane too. Luckily I worked during lockdown, but my boyfriend really worked - he owns two liquor stores and they were deemed essential services so they were allowed to stay open to the public. He basically had holiday business with a tenth of the staff (I think he worked a total of 76 days in a row; 12 hour days). We had plenty of space. And even when we don't and I need to be alone - I just tell him to go away and he does. Anyway, back to the movie, it's set up right from the beginning that these two people don't like each other and now they are stuck together for an indeterminable amount of days, so basically we get to watch this couple bicker for 90 minutes? Cool, cool, cool. I think the story would be much stronger if we saw the breakdown of the relationship due to these living conditions instead of setting it up in the beginning. But I'm sure that story is down the line somewhere in film production land. What I did appreciate is that the film does not shy away from the effects of Covid and the strain it's had on people's mental health, and also the complete lack of responsibility and empathy from leadership. So many mistakes were made and nobody is acknowledging it. I'll still never understand why we didn't just keep the mask mandate in place until more were vaccinated? I think it's pretty obvious that there was going to be a backlash to the vaccine, if you were paying attention. Instead of addressing that, it seems we went into this very idealistic place of "oh we have a vaccine, everyone is going to take it, so let's ease all restrictions", which is the dumbest thing we could have done. Also, the way nursing homes (which are called care homes in the UK - learned something new! I also learned that they call eggplant "aubergine", which makes sense because we use the word "aubergine" to refer to a color that is the purplish color of eggplants!) were handled is a disgrace and people belong in jail for it. I think it's something like 30% of all Covid deaths in NJ are linked to nursing homes. Just devastating. Anyway, I appreciate this movie for what it tries to do, but just like with My Son, I wish I liked it more. I found the breaking of the fourth wall really jarring, and I thought I would get used to it, but I never did. It just felt awkward. McAvoy is really stunning in some scenes, though. And once again, he'll be ignored completely for it. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Saint Frances - Well, I was not expecting this movie to anger me as much as it did; nor did I expect to hate the main character so very much. Just thinking about it makes me brain hurt, especially because I saw so many positive responses to this movie (I actually saw a female critic describe it as a "feel good" movie and WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK IS HAPPENING). So here are all the reasons I hate this character: First, and probably the least important but most frustrating, apparently this woman is supposed to look young, as someone confuses her for being in her 20s - but, I'm sorry, she looks my age (40). But the frustrating part is that she's one of those actresses that has had her age wiped from IMDB. I get the reason behind this, but ultimately it feels like it's shaming women for aging. And don't put a woman onscreen and tell me she's supposed to look 20-something when she looks 40. If you google her you can find her birthday listed as 1983/84 which means she was around 36 when filming this. Her character is supposed to be 34. Sure. She can pass for an older looking 34 year old, but nobody would confuse her for 20s. Second, the age is actually important here, because she's supposed to be a typical "failure to launch" type character (but female). But instead, she just comes off as incredibly stupid to me. She's surprised when she gets her period? I get that in your 20s you're still trying to figure out your body and your cycle, but by the time your 34 you should, like, know if something is normal or not? There's no reference to her being like "my cycle is unpredictable" instead she's just like "oops my bad!". Aside from the fact that it's astounding to me that some women don't experience the overwhelming feeling of wanting to literally die from PMS (both mentally and physically), I personally can never imagine just not knowing that I'm about to get my period. And she also thinks that "pulling out" is an actual birth control method...at 34. While I do like that she's unapologetically not on birth control (TMI, I'm not either and I never have been because the side-effects are OUTRAGEOUS compared to the side-effects of condoms). And I know that I'm talking a lot about periods and birth control, which might make some uncomfortable, but the ONLY positive thing about this movie is that it allows space for this discussion that is often seen as taboo in films. It's an incredibly female-centric story that hits on these topics along with discussions about abortions, motherhood, PPD, and also - another taboo topic - being a woman who has no interest in motherhood OR having a high-powered career (there's always talk about women who have to either choose or juggle both, but what about women who want neither?). It's strange that I do connect with this character, but I just wish she was written differently. Third, during a very emotionally resonating scene towards the end that combines all of these important discussions I just referred to, she states "I don't know why I'm crying. I'm an agnostic feminist". Which just erases everything that comes before it. There's this whole imaginary battle between being a feminist and being pro-motherhood that this is just amplifying instead of erasing it. And what does being agnostic have anything to do with being emotional and empathetic? As if "agnostic feminists" are just cold-hearted bitches, really. How angering is that? Anyway, I've written all of this and I haven't even gotten to the actual movie yet. The idea behind it is strong, but there are just too many moments of frustration for me to really engage with it in a positive way. And, it's about a woman having an abortion so if you describe that as a "feel good" movie, you might need some therapy, in my opinion. 

2. Valley of the Gods - I can honestly say that I have no idea what I watched. I watched for Josh Hartnett (and am so happy that he's in so much nowadays!), but I guess I didn't really expect it to be so trippy. There's no real narrative, very little dialogue, and some very odd scenes (that are also mostly very beautiful to look at). I guess it's told in these little vignette type stories, but they don't really seem to relate to each other. I think it's supposed to reflect class distinctions by showing the gluttony of wealthy people vs Native Americans still living off the land. But there's a lot of metaphor type imagery that just isn't interesting enough to do any sort of deep dive into, but there's also a lot of overtly obvious imagery that makes me roll my eyes (one of the characters fucks the dirt - like literally fucks the ground below him). It's one of those films that feels like it's trying to be weird and confusing, but ultimately it feels really hollow. I would love to say that it's worth it for Josh, but it's really, really not. 

3. The Mad Women's Ball - I was really excited for this movie. I'm a big fan of Melanie Laurent, and it's always super cool when an actor/actress ups their game and gets behind the camera. And like Saint Frances, it's also super cool that it's completely unapologetically a female-centric story. The idea of hysteria in women obviously goes way back (this takes place in the 19th century), and the mistreatment of women (and people, in general) who suffer from mental disorders isn't really a new topic, but I really love how this movie doesn't ever try to erase this woman's "madness", which is that she can see ghosts. We're never really given any medical diagnosis other than her being "mad" i.e "crazy", but instead it's just sort of accepted as truth by several who are eventually convinced of her ability. I mean, honestly, sometimes I feel like I'm fucking crazy - and have these weird abilities that I don't understand. Just a few months ago, on my birthday, we were at a hotel, waiting for the elevator and I said "actually, we can't get on this elevator". I don't know why I said it - it just came out. So my boyfriend begrudgingly agreed to take the stairs. We went to dinner, came back a few hours later and there was an "out of order" sign on the elevator (and it didn't work for the entire rest of our trip). We were so freaked out by it, but my bf is very scientific (as am I), so he's convinced that I must have heard something without realizing it, that triggered my adverse reaction to using the elevator (like either a mechanical noise, or possibly workers already talking about it not working?). But for me, it's just that I knew we shouldn't get on it. And that's just a small, recent example - shit like that happens to me all the time and my bf continually tries to rationalize it, but after 5 years together, he's slowly admitting that I have weird psychic abilities that can't be explained. And if I lived in a different timeline, I would definitely have been locked up or burned at the stake. Anyway, I did like this movie. It wasn't as interesting or memorable as I wanted it to be be, but there are some beautiful shots and the acting is strong, as expected. 

4. Intrusion - *spoilers* What a fucking load of crap. I saw this described as a "tv movie", but it's hard to even know what that means anymore in terms of quality. But it is definitely old school "tv movie" quality (i.e terrible). I like Freida Pinto and Logan Marshall-Green (although, he'll always be Trey Atwood to me, so technically....my brother-in-law?), but they are spectacularly bad in this movie. Logan does a weird, unnatural voice that instantly makes him creepy. The worst part, though, is the predictable storytelling. The foreshadowing is insane - the way he pushes the filing cabinet in such an overdramatic fashion (I was instantly like "oh...wonder what's behind there??" and then the noise that the "house" makes during the police visit. It's so fucking obvious that the missing girl is in the house.). I appreciate that she begins to suspect her husband quite quickly...but it also doesn't make any sense? And if she does suspect him, then why wouldn't she instantly go to the police? I mean, we're talking about a missing girl. It's just particularly annoying because it could be a good movie - if they weren't so fucking obvious about everything from the very beginning. It would be interesting to watch this woman suspect that her perfect husband is actually a psychopath (obviously, it's been done a million times, but it's still a fascinating topic), but instead the audience is like "OH HE'S BATSHIT CRAZY, GIRL", almost instantly. The end is also incredibly dumb - the way she just discovers his hiding place and *walks right into it* without calling the police or making a big scene about it first. If I discovered a secret door in my house (that my husband BUILT HIMSELF), I would NOT just walk down the creepy fucking steps essentially trapping myself?! Also, I actually have one of those stupid touristy Big Ben metal trinket statues and it weighs maybe 2lbs and would definitely not kill someone. Why didn't she grab a knife for fuck sake?? It will definitely make my "Worst of 2021" list. 

5. Nightbooks - This is a very average kids horror movie. It reminded me of the Goosebumps stories or that Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark movie, but slightly better. Casting Krysten Ritter as a witch with blue hair is obviously a win (and that pearl capelet that she wears towards the beginning is TO DIE FOR). She does campy so well that it's actually super cool. I'm actually envious of how cheesy she can be but still be ridiculously hot? It's annoying, actually (but I love her). The kids in it are super cute - the main kid is like a mini Patton Oswald (just adorable, really). I think my biggest criticism is that it just *starts* right away without getting to know this kid at all. And also when he comes back, obviously, it would be a bigger deal and his parents would ask a million questions (and there would be police involved!), but it's very much "kids fairytale" type storytelling. I can see many sequels and possibly spin-offs, as well, but unfortunately I haven't seen many people talk about it at all? I may have just missed it because I feel like the discourse for streaming movies last exactly 2 days and then it's never heard from again. 

4 Thoughts on The Emmys

1. The Host - Wow, I didn't think it could get any worse than the miserable guys from SNL from a few years back (Colin something and Michael Che? That sounds right?), but Cedric the Entertainer was...horrible. First, I don't think many people in the audience got what he was even talking about for most of it because everything was very dated. A Tom Brady Super Bowl joke? An "all flies matter" joke about Pence? Those things happened AGES ago. And he kept bringing up his own shows that, maybe, the CBS audience might know about, but certainly not a wide audience. I mean, I laughed at his Martin joke, but then I was like, really? A joke about Martin in 2021? Everything just landed with a big thud, which is definitely disappointing because the opening was cute with everyone in the audience singing "Just a Friend", which is such an infectious song - I'm sure it will now be stuck in my head for weeks. I also didn't mind the "Where's my f-ing Emmy" skit, only because Fred Savage appeared. 

2. The Show - Unfortunately, I had a triple whammy of having had too much to drink just hours before, getting my period (TMI, I don't care) and then, about 30 minutes in, getting a migraine in my left eye so bad that I usually would have locked myself away in a very dark, soundless room, but I made it through the show with one eye trying to focus on the disaster before me. But, it was more disappointing for me because I actually enjoy scrolling twitter during awards shows for hilarious commentary, but when I get migraines I literally can't look at a phone screen (I'll never understand people who tweet "I have such a migraine!". I often don't believe them because why are you essentially making things worse for yourself by tweeting? To gain sympathy from strangers, I guess? I mean, I tweet random crap too - it's nice to just vent sometimes, but the migraine thing is weird to me). Anyway, the experience was not fun, and I contemplated going to bed several times, but then I kept telling myself that it was almost over - except it never was. It lasted for-fucking-ever. And other than the host being a complete disaster, there wasn't much else to it. The presenters all did...fine? Nothing too memorable. I think the problem was mostly with the speeches - everyone just took so fucking long, and some completely ignored the music playing them off multiple times. Sometimes this works, and comes off as endearing, but also the production team is trying to stick to a schedules, so, like, say thank you and then shut the fuck up! Also, how did I not realize that Debbie Allen from Grey's Anatomy is the Debbie Allen? My brain never put that together at all, which is weird because she looks the same. I never realized how much she did behind the scenes, and from that montage of all that she has accomplished, it's refreshing to see someone who deserves the praise actually win such a big honor (unlike someone...like...*cough* Tyler Perry *cough). 

3. The Winners - I expected Ted Lasso and The Crown to completely dominate the awards this year, and I think they are both absolutely deserving of it. I'm fully on board the Ted Lasso train. Choo-fucking-choo!! If you told me two years ago that I would be rooting for Jason Sudeikis (the most boring, mediocre comedian around) to win an award, I would have laughed at you. But when things like this happen, I actually applaud myself for my ability to be open-minded about performances. I truly do watch everything with a blank slate and will fully admit when someone that I may have never liked before turns in a performance of a lifetime. Sudeikis is absolute perfection in this role - his positivity is infectious, his comedic timing is perfect, and more recently he has driven a really emotionally resonating storyline with such a natural ease. As for the supporting cast - Hannah Waddingham is spectacular, and I was rooting for Brendan Hunt over Brett Goldstein (Coach Beard is my favorite), but people love Roy Kent (for good reason), so I'm not complaining about his win. And also, speaking of actors I don't usually like, Juno Temple is winning me over with this role too (it's slow, but it's definitely happening). The Crown is a more established show that the Emmys have been awarding since the beginning, and I still maintain that it is deserving of every one of them (but I'm so glad Emma Corrin didn't win - I think if they went for Supporting, they might have won). The winners for the Limited Series categories were pretty split between Mare of Easttown and The Queen's Gambit, with Mare winning the performance categories and The Queen's Gambit winning production and series. I think that was a bit expected, but I do think Anya should have won over Kate (Winslet's performance was very uneven for me). And I actually wasn't expecting Evan Peters to take the win, but I'm pretty happy with that result. Julianne Nicholson has been in the game for years and has been severely underrated, so it's really nice to see her get some recognition. 

4. The Fashion - I think one of the reasons that I was looking forward to this is because I was hoping it felt "normal". Last year's Emmys were literally called the "pandemmys" and they had people in fucking hazmat suits giving out awards. Like, just think about that for a second. The past 20 months have just been so fucking wild and unbelievable, but I know so many people who are at their limit (including myself) and I'm worried about what's going to happen if people don't start feeling that normalcy soon. There's still a part of me that wonders if throwing a big awards celebration and having celebrities wear overly expensive dresses and jewels during a pandemic is wildly inappropriate, but a bigger part of me longs for it. Plus, I fully believe how you look effects how you feel about yourself - and so many people found themselves working from home wearing sweat pants every day, and I just went in the complete opposite direction. I wore a dress almost every day to work - the brightest and boldest I could find in my closet because I knew it would lift my mood even ever so slightly. So, with that being said, I love the fashion at awards shows. The bright colors trend definitely dominated with stunning looks from Kaley Cuoco and Michaela Coel. Keri Russell also looked stunning (and I saw her on a few worst lists...what?!). I also really loved Samira Wiley's suit - even though it was black, it had this really amazing sparkle to it and she just glowed in it. Also, on the men's side - I love men in velvet suits, so Sudeikis was perfect, but also I died when I saw Brendan Hunt's top hat and cane (it's hilariously perfect for him). As for the worst, I don't like to do it, but sometimes I can't help myself (and this has no correlation to the person, just the dress), but what was Aidy Bryant wearing?? It looked like she was going to a high school renaissance fair. I know a lot of people liked Anya's dress, but it looked far too prom like for me (it was mostly the combo of that dress with that hair that did it). And why was Annie Murphy wearing a bathrobe??? But truly the worst - Emma Corrin - the unflattering color, fit, matching gloves with those claw-like nails, topped (literally) with a bonnet. I can't even look at them with a straight face. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Mauritanian - I didn't know much about this movie. I think it went fairly under the radar until Jodie Foster earned some acting nominations for it. The real story is fascinating, but I feel like the film is not really telling us anything we don't already know (torture = bad; Guantanamo Bay = especially bad). It's well-acted - particularly by Foster and Tahar Rahim (not so much a fan of Benedict Cumberbatch's southern accent), but I don't really feel like it has anything memorable or emotional - and this story should be emotional. It doesn't even get to the particularly interesting part of the story until an hour and 40 minutes in and I became so bored that I just spent most of the time skimming through Wikipedia for the true story instead. The story is actually ENRAGING, but I think the film is just so...formulaic (I'm actually surprised that it wasn't embraced even more by awards circles - it's definitely the type of movie that the Academy, in particular, loves to award). It just never hits the notes that it should. And once again, the real footage at the end broke my heart way more than the entire movie. 

2. Cinderella (2021) - I would LOVE to stick up for this reimagined version of this classic fairytale, but so many unfortunate choices were made. SO. MANY. I was already disappointed by initial reactions (and the trailer was rough), so I had reservations going into it, but still hopeful that it could be fun. It's not. It's actually quite dull and uninspiring. It's hard to pinpoint exactly what the issue is, but I think it's mostly a combination of the aforementioned unfortunate choices. First, the casting is a huge miss. I don't know much about Camila Cabello, other than that "Havana" song that was on repeat on every radio station for like a year. I think I would be able to forgive her bland performance...if she could sing? I actually feel bad typing this out, but her voice is horrendous. Obviously, James Corden is a huge misfire, but luckily he's not in it enough to cause any real damage. And casting Billy Porter in the Fairy Godmother role is somehow both inspiring and completely obvious that it's...boring. Plus, I don't know the actor that plays the Prince, but he is not hot, can't sing, and is so unmemorable that if you showed me a picture of him I highly doubt I would not recognize him. Second, the pop song mash-up trend is, sadly, over. Glee did it well (mostly), but the Pitch Perfect trilogy really overdid it so much that I just role my eyes at anything that attempts to do it. I should have guessed it would be used here (Kay Cannon wrote the Pitch Perfect movies). Even the cover songs are dull - and after that disastrous promotional traffic stop debacle, I can't listen to "Let's Get Loud" ever again. Third, the one thing that really should have shined is the costume design - she wants to create beautiful dresses (more on this in a sec), but the ones she designs are basically copies of Marchesa Notte (current master of the 3D floral dresses). I would have loved a modern version of classic Cinderella's ice blue gown (the 2015 film version stuck to the traditional version). And last, the whole "girlboss" version of Cinderella is soooo...nonsensical. She's so overly confident, especially for someone who is essentially being abused by her step-family. The whole thing just makes my head hurt thinking about it. The *only* good thing is that if you watch close enough Nandi Bushell makes a quick appearance kicking ass on the drums (I literally screamed out loud "IS THAT NANDI?! I love her). 

3. Kate - Wow. So I looked at my list of films watched to see what movies I was going to write this newest post on, and I honestly just blanked so hard on this movie (questioning "I watched a movie called Kate? What the fuck? Did I, really?"). That's how unmemorable and generic this female-led assassin action film is. And I stress the "female-led" part because they are literally all the same - you can interchange this with Ava, Atomic Blonde, Gunpowder Milkshake, Jolt etc., and just set it in Japan and you have this movie. I'm a big fan of Mary Elizabeth Winstead (seriously, I think she should have been nominated for an Oscar for her performance in 10 Cloverfield Lane, and does anyone remember that show BrainDead? It was actually pretty good! Definitely deserving of more than one season). But, I don't like her at all here. She's just oddly so dry. And I'll never believe that this little tiny woman can over-power a group of men twice her size (and I didn't believe it when Jessica Chastain, Kate Beckinsale or Karen Gillan did it either - but somehow, Charlize is totally believable). There's also a whole lot about this plot that just doesn't make sense - like, why poison? Wouldn't they kill her in the quickest way possible (also didn't they steal this plot from Crank? Which, oddly I JUST RECENTLY WATCHED FOR THE FIRST TIME and it is awesome). And why did she choose to steal the most noticeable car I've ever seen? It's literally glowing with neon lights (LOL). I will say that the scene with her walking in, all covered in dirt and blood, with the bright white sunglasses, cigarette lightly hanging from her lips, is fucking killer, though. It's a shame that they widely used it for promotion, so the scene itself has very little impact. 

4. Malignant - This was not something I had on my list of new releases to watch right away. I thought it would be something I watched years from now (as I do with many horror movies). But then the reactions started to come in, and most called it completely bonkers (in a seemingly good way, and also everyone was very careful about not including anything spoilery in their assessment which is always appreciated, but it also got me very curious). Luckily, it's one those movies released on HBO Max concurrently with its theater release, so I moved it right to the top. I LOVE the HBO Max deal that was made this year (much better than Disney+ in which you still have to pay the same amount of money as seeing it in a theater, which is frankly bullshit). I know it's not going to continue after all the debacles with actor/director contracts and disputes, but it's nice while it lasts. Anyway, it's exactly as described - just absolutely bonkers. I don't think it's as good as everyone is claiming, but I appreciate that it really goes for it - and to get slightly spoilery - the whole film shifts to something quite indescribable during the prison cell scene (complete with a Foxy Cleopatra and Aileen Wuornos cosplay characters). For most of the movie, I was pretty indifferent - the story is interesting, the murders are gory (but not really scary), I like Annabelle Wallis (ugh, she was my favorite character in Peaky Blinders. I just loved her so much). There's also some surprisingly great dialogue - "How many times do I have to watch my children die inside of you?" is perhaps the meanest thing I've ever heard an abuser say and he definitely deserved a gruesome death for it. Also "So I'm putting out a BOLO for Sloth from The Goonies?" made me laugh. However, I was mostly really confused by all the praise. I think the "twist" is obvious (and now I'm getting really spoilery, so please stop reading) - I wrote down "her conjoined twin is the malignant cancer, obviously". But I couldn't quite put together how they were going to wrap it all together to make the story cohesive (and somehow mind-blowing at the same time). I just thought they would explain that she has some sort of psychic visions because of the "twin" thing that somehow was triggered by her head injury. But, the film goes for crazy. Truly crazy. And it basically turns into a monster movie, which is definitely an unexpected surprise. I can definitely see this turning into a whole franchise. 

5. Four Good Days - This story has been done before, of a parent dealing with their addict child - the dichotomy of trying to help but also letting go of someone who isn't committed to helping themselves, most recently with Ben is Back and Beautiful Boy. Both of those movies are quite mediocre, and this one joins them (only it's about privileged white girl drug addict instead). It's honestly surprising how many bad movies Glenn Close chooses to participate in. I'm pretty sure this was seen as Oscar-bait on paper (as I'm sure Hillbilly Elegy was as well), and I think Mila Kunis probably thought this might be her moment to be taken more seriously. I adore Mila and I think she is stunningly beautiful, but she's not a good dramatic actress. Addiction, itself, is really scary, but there is something really harrowing about heroin addiction because it just destroys your body (I mean, alcohol and cocaine does to, but heroin is much more outwardly noticeable). But I find it hard to believe that this woman is so destroyed that she has sores all over, and has lost her teeth, but she still maintains those perfectly drawn in eyebrows?? (also, on a ridiculous side-note, as personal preference I think drawn in eyebrows look terrible. I love makeup, but this trend is just so distracting sometimes). Anyway, overall it's not something that I'm going to remember. I was really hoping for an incredible devastating ending - I was definitely prepped for it, but then...it wimps out. Just complete mediocrity in every sense of the word.   

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Reminiscence - This movie had a lot of good things going for it: (1) It's written & directed by Lisa Joy. She co-created Westworld, which isn't the most consistent show, but it certainly has its moments of sheer brilliance. (2) When people discuss "the greats" among actors, I think Hugh Jackman is often overlooked. He's one of the most versatile actors, which I think proves far more talent than most actors who "stay in their lane". He can do musicals, rom-coms, iconic superhero roles, and dark adult dramas all with a natural ease. I always look forward to anything he does because even if I don't end up liking it, I know that there will be a solid performance, at the very least. (3) It looks beautiful - the futuristic neo-noir vibe is usually something that sucks me right in. So, needless to say, I was ready for this. And, it's not bad, necessarily, but for me, it's something worse than bad - it's forgettable. Strikingly average. It's very boring, repetitive, and about 40 minutes too long. It does look pretty, but that only gets you so far. And speaking of pretty, I usually like Rebecca Ferguson but this reminded me of the one time I didn't - in another Hugh Jackman movie, The Greatest Showman, because she was really miscast. Why is she given singing roles? Is she a singer? Because...she can't sing. Her voice is incredibly bland and average and...soulless. In this she's supposed to have this mysterious, sexy night club singer vibe (complete with a Jessica Rabbit red dress), and it just doesn't work for me at all. Plus, the whole "all endings are sad especially if the story is happy" theme is so overdone - we get it, it doesn't need to be repeated a dozen times. The story was definitely dumbed down for a wider audience, which is always disappointing. 

2. Annette - Well, I didn't love this movie, but I certainly took a lot of notes while watching it (I always write little notes while watching things because I forget stuff so easily). I am a huge fan of Holy Motors, even thought I didn't fully understand it - it's oddly beautiful, and as previously mentioned, for someone with memory problems - it's unforgettable. I was expecting to be perplexed by Annette, but it's actually far more cohesive than Holy Motors. There are still moments of having that "what the fuck am I watching" feeling, for instance - any scene that features Baby Annette, but overall I don't think it's something that will stick with me. The weirdness of it all doesn't feel as organic as it does in Holy Motors. I've said it many times, but I'm not the biggest fan of Adam Driver, but when he's good, he's really good (Star Wars and The Dead Don't Die are movies that I liked him in...everything else can get thrown in the garbage. I said what I said.). And, this may be a little bit of of side rant, but also not, because this film has a main theme of celebrity culture, paparazzi, and actors as performance artists, but Driver, in real life, comes off as such an asshole to me. I *know* that he struggles with social anxiety, and as someone who also struggles with it, I have to call bullshit on that as an excuse to be rude. He gets paid (a significantly large amount of money) to represent a film. Some argue that actors are just paid to act and they don't have to cater to fans, but I completely disagree. They sign contracts that involve promoting their projects - and there is a certain level of fame that comes with projects that is easy to avoid if you can't handle it (but signing on to do Star Wars and then trying to opt out of the fame part is idiotic). Also, I don't think actors have to cater to fans in their private life - like if they are out at a bar with their friends at a non-industry event they should be left the fuck alone. Anyway, that's my rant on the subject (in summary: social anxieties are not an excuse to be rude during press tours). I absolutely think that he took this role as some sort of commentary on his relationship with fame and the media, but it's incredibly eye-rolling. As is his stand-up "comedic" acts in this movie - I'm not sure what these performances are supposed to be? Funny? Insightful? Disarming? It's none of these. It reminds me of that Bo Burnham special that everyone raves about that I really, really, really don't want to watch (please don't make me). There are things that I like about the movie, for sure, like the opening musical number, the 360 tracking shot of the conducting scene is stunning, and Marion Cotillard is always spectacular. But it just gets exhausting to watch - the symbolism is so in-your-face (the half-bitten apple, the waltz during the storm, the creepy fucking puppet child...we get it!). I was not really expecting it to take such a dark turn - eerily inspired by Natalie Wood's death (and how odd that I'm currently reading a biography on her!). Oh and the only other thing that is worth mentioning, but also a very minor irk that I have with this movie, is that she's a world-famous Hollywood...opera singer? So famous that paparazzi follow her everywhere. Uh...ok? I dare you to name one famous opera singer who has been featured on TMZ. 

3. Cruella - So, this is actually kind of good! I was (and still am) skeptical of how they can create a story that basically asks the audience to sympathize with a dog killer, but they do a good job of avoiding the issue altogether really (the whole "Dalmatians killed my mother" plot that was heavily criticized by film twitter, isn't actually a plot - she actually blames herself for her mother's death). Instead, it's an origin story of how Cruella became the voice of a fashion empire. I think it works so well because we do see her be a little bit of a trouble-maker right from childhood. And I also like that she's not turned evil because of a man (like in Maleficent and Oz the Great and Powerful). Obviously, I enjoyed the fashion bits - especially that it's an unexpected ode to the early punk fashion that emerged in London in the mid 70s. The costume design is just glorious - from the metal tie to the garbage dress. I am thoroughly stunned by the creativity and showmanship of some of the designs. Other things I liked about this: Paul Walter Hauser's comedic timing, watching the two Emmas out act each other in every scene, the use of one of my all-time favorite songs "Hush", and, of course, the cutest dog ever that I would give my life for - Winky. I have some criticisms (Stone's accent, the obvious plot twists, the length), but overall, it held my attention, made me smile, and has quite a few gasp worthy moments. I look forward to the sequel.

4. CODA - As I've previously said in some posts, learning ASL is one of my goals this year - and, unfortunately, it's not going great. I haven't quite figured out a technique that solves my memory problems (I'll remember how to sign words and phrases for a few weeks but then my mind goes completely blank). I tried really hard to follow the signing used here, but it was way too hard. I heard mixed things about this movie, and that it's specifically criticized for its depiction of deaf people as a "burden", but I do think that being the only hearing person in a family would be...a burden, especially for a teenage girl who is trying to find herself and her own passions independent of her family. And I trust that if Marlee Matlin is involved, someone who has been changing the industry from the inside for the past 30 years, then it's a relevant story for the deaf community and it's done with respect (but everyone is offended by something nowadays, which is fine, but that doesn't mean that your experience is everyone's experience). Overall, I like this movie - it's cute, well-acted, and tells an interesting story. It's also very average for this type of story (just as I saw criticism, I also saw some claiming this their favorite of the year, which is crazy to me. But people also rate an enormous amount of films 4-5 stars, which is also absurd. Most films are 3 stars. I don't think there's been a 5 star film since 2011). There are a few really funny moments - like how the father listens to rap music really loudly (which is also a coincidence because just the day before I watched this, I was showing someone that hilarious video of the interpreter during a live performance of "WAP", and they questioned why there are interpreters at concerts so I explained that deaf people can feel the beat so this way they can also know what the lyrics are and THEY DIDN'T BELIEVE ME and said that it's just a way for musicians to seem "woke". *stares blankly into the void*). I also think it's funny that the father hates Boston ("that city is full of assholes". True story.). And even though it is completely expected, the ending is full of emotions - the scene leading up to it with the parents watching her sing in the choir is so well done. It got me. 

5. Jungleland - I had never heard of this movie, but it stars two favorite men of mine - Charlie Hunnam and Jack O'Connell, AS BROTHERS (not quite as good as the Hunnam and Garrett Hedlund as brothers casting, but still somehow also perfect). I've gushed about Charlie Hunnam before (super hot), but I rarely get to talk about O'Connell because he's not in enough!! He needs to be in everything! Far better actor than 90% of actors his age (also, he's super hot). I didn't really think much could really be added to the genre of "boxing" films, but I appreciate that this focuses more on the relationship between these two brothers and that they are just trying to make ends meet. They get caught up with a crime family and are tasked to transport a kidnapped young woman, and you can kind of guess the rest of the story from there. It's a quiet little character driven film that has potential, but it just never quite gets there. It also becomes a little unbelievable and ridiculous (if you knew that your daughter was hanging out with "a bad crowd" and she just showed up at your door with two strange men with her, would you let them in...and...then make dinner for them?? Just absolutely stupid). Proper solid ending, though. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Nine Perfect Strangers - I've only watched 3 episodes so far, but it is soooooo sloooooowww. I bought the book earlier this year, but I haven't read it yet. I did like Liane Moriarty's What Alice Forgot (it wasn't great, but it was a solid summer read), but I'm not the biggest fan of the series Big Little Lies (it's ok, but severely over-praised in my opinion). This seems like the same type of story (privileged middle-aged wealthy white people doing privileged middle-aged wealthy white people stuff). The first episode serves as a character introduction of our "nine perfect strangers", and while the cast is incredible, the actual characters are really boring, predictable, cliched as fuck. I have a huge, gigantic, massively insane crush on Samara Weaving - and she does a good job in the role, but it's basically your typical spoiled shallow influencer and I have no interest in learning anything else about her (although I'm sure there is something "deeper" to her story. *rolls eyes*). There is also Luke Evans, Bobby Cannavale, and Michael Shannon as "asshole", "nice guy but also an asshole" and "nice guy", respectively. And then to top it all off, there is Nicole Kidman with a very jarring Russian accent being super "mysterious" as this new age cult leader/personality. I don't feel like the role fits her at all (she's just always cold to me, which isn't necessarily a bad thing when that's what the role calls for). I'll keep watching, hoping that it gets more interesting, but I'm kind of dreading reading the book now. 

2. American Horror Stories - Wow. I was not expecting this to be this bad. I'm a fan of American Horror Story, as a whole. Although some seasons are clearly better than others - Coven and Asylum are miles better than the rest of the series. But all of them have interesting ideas and solid performances. This, however, is wildly uneven with horrible performances, and really, really cliched horror "stories". I think the idea of a spin-off is actually interesting, but I definitely feel like this is aimed at a younger audience (which is also how I felt about the Fear Street movies). I think the most glaring problem is the acting. I truly appreciate that this is taking the idea of "the next generation" quite literally by casting Paris Jackson, Kaia Gerber, Billie Lourd and Noah Cyrus - but none of them can actually act (Paris has great screen presence, though, and Kaia has the most potential). Also, I'm devastated that the worst offender, the actress playing Scarlett, is the same girl from The Vast of Night because I adored her in that. The character is just a really overdone teenage rebel cliche, that is more laughable than it is disturbing. Every episode gets worse, and the first episode is downright terrible...so....I don't have much else to say. 

3. Cooking with Paris - Fun fact about me: I actually love Paris Hilton. I love Nicole Richie way more, and she is usually the one that instigated the hijinks during their The Simple Life times, but Hilton is hilarious in her own right. I don't, however, like any of the Kardashians - I don't even know which one is which, except for Kim, who unfortunately appears in the first episode of this. This show would be so much better if it was "cooking with Paris and Nicole", but also I'm pretty sure Nicole would set the house on fire, so it's probably not a good idea. Another fun fact about me: I'm a really, really good cook. I absolutely hate doing it, but sometimes I amaze myself at the results. I don't usually like watching cooking shows for the same reason I don't like cooking - it usually grosses me out. Like when I touch raw chicken I have to shut down my brain or else I feel nauseous. But the good thing about this cooking show is that it's obviously not really about the cooking - it's about how ridiculous (and funny) Paris is. We, surprisingly, have a lot in common - our love of cereal and McDonalds french fries, our hate at how many milk options there are (it's seriously an entire aisle at my grocery store - why are there that many different milks???), not knowing what common kitchen appliances are (I am constantly googling for pictures), and somehow the ability to make delicious meals. It's like we are twins. 

4. Dr. Death - I wasn't really planning on watching this show - I didn't even realize that I have Peacock as a streaming service (I literally have so many streaming services and I can't even keep track if I'm paying extra or not? Why do I have this but not Paramount+? I never signed up for it?). But the thought of Pacey in doctor scrubs just reeled me in and then Christian Slater really cinched it. I'm 2 episodes in, and so far it's kinda boring. And mostly predictable. It reminds me a little of the "Dirty John" story - how he is not really who he says he is (maybe?). I think there is definitely an interesting story here, but I don't know when they are going to get to it, and also once they do, I'm not sure how they can continue. It's based on a true story, but I'm not familiar with how it turns out. 

5. The Pursuit of Love - The first episode of this mini-series is really boring, but thankfully it picks up, and the next two are absolutely wonderful (it's only 3 episodes long). Obviously I am a bit biased by my love for Lily James (just pure sunshine, in my opinion), but I think this is a very lovely story of friendship that changes and grows as their lives continue in different directions. It reminded me a lot of my friendship with my college bff - she had that same personality as Linda; always the center of attention, unpredictable, incredibly impulsive (the exact opposite of me, really) and never, ever boring. But after about 10 years, I realized how incredibly toxic she was to my mental health because she was also very selfish and inconsiderate so I gave up on our friendship (I still miss her and love her dearly and I hope that she is well). Anyway, I recommend this if period dramas are your thing - especially for the costume design. And back to Lily for a sec - she's incredible in this, but I was a bit distracted by the fact that this is the project that she had that very publicized affair with Dominic West and now I definitely question her life choices. Nothing against West, but she is waaaaay too good for him (ok, I guess that is obnoxiously against West, but facts are facts). Wouldn't she be cute with someone like, say..., Taron Egerton? He's single and adorable and they have friends in common. He's RIGHT THERE GIRL. Also, WHY is she doing this Pam Anderson project?! Who let her do this? I don't care how good the makeup is - the project is fucked (let Pam Anderson tell her own story, when she wants to do it - that's the only way to make it good). 

Thoughts on Films

1. The Resort - I was in the mood for a fun, cheesy horror movie and this seemed like it had the same vibe as The Rental (which I liked), but, oh man, this movie is bad. I don't think I have anything nice to say about it at all. You would think that, at the very least, I could praise the scenery considering that it takes place in Hawaii (and was actually filmed there), but it barely scratches the surface of the beauty that exists there (still on my list! Volcano tour here I come!). The dialogue, combined with that Chris Hemsworth wannabe's acting is just truly horrendous. The plot is a very typical haunted building mystery tale, but it takes a full 45 minutes before anything remotely creepy happens (which is more than half of the total runtime). Instead we are given 45 minutes of banter, that is neither interesting nor is it funny, and an overly long scene of them swimming in a lake, which is an obvious excuse to have these four show some skin. I don't usually have problems with that, but these four people are not hot and it doesn't even make sense that the girls are conveniently wearing bikinis even though the lake was not a planned stop. Once the "haunted" part kicks in, I was already really bored and I was rooting for their deaths. It all felt very amateur. 

2. A Quiet Place Part II - I really liked the first one (I believe it was in my top 3 movies of 2018). I think horror is probably the genre that I am the most skeptical of - it has to be done really well for me to enjoy it. And horror sequels are generally terrible. I didn't really want a sequel to this - it seemed unnecessary and *spoiler* since Krasinski's character dies in the first one, I thought it would just make me sad to watch more of the story without him. BUT, I'm extremely happy to say that I loved this one almost just as much as the first one. The intensity of it is still there - and that's really why it was so successful for me. And it made me happy that they found a way to still include his character (via flashback). And Cillian Murphy is a great replacement - I definitely consider him underrated. He's always good but rarely talked about. The rest of the cast is, once again, wonderful. I actually didn't realize that Noah Jupe was in the first one (he was excellent in Honey Boy. What a talented kid!). Also, it's the PERFECT length - roughly an hour and forty minutes (just like the first one), every moment is necessary and nothing is wasted. It just grabs you right from the beginning, is incredibly tense with a pitch-perfect pace. Right now, it's my favorite movie of 2021 (even though it was technically premiered in the U.S in 2020, but then quickly delayed a wide release due to the pandemic. I think most are considering it 2021). 

3. Wrath of Man - Guy Ritchie and Jason Statham...I AM ALL IN. It's a very typical Ritchie production with very fast-moving dialogue (I wish I had the subtitles on because I KNOW that I missed some of the humor), and non-linear narrative. Overall, I liked it, but I wanted to love it. I think something about it just didn't feel fresh enough. It gets very repetitive and it's quite obvious (from the very beginning - it's even in the title) as to what this guy is doing. But it's also very satisfying watching everything unfold. I wish Josh Hartnett had more to do - he seems kind of wasted in this as a clueless sidekick character. Also, *spoilers* the end "heist" is incredibly stupid - as it's talked about as being a big score because they hit the armored car depot on Black Friday as if the money would be automatically there the day of (most stores don't balance out their deposits until that night and it doesn't get picked up until the next day - so if you want to hit the Black Friday jackpot then you would hit the trucks on Saturday...DUH. But also not many people use cash anymore, anyway. Just so dumb). I would recommend it to anyone who is a Guy Ritchie fan because it feels like he's back to doing what he does best (with this and The Gentleman, I have high hopes that he is ditching doing stuff like the live-action Aladdin - what the fuck was he thinking?).

4. Beckett - *slight spoilers* Really, really slow-moving and unfortunately, it's just not worth the effort it takes to watch it. But, John David Washington redeems himself (I like him, but he really lost me with his performance in Tenet, in which he seemed like he was about to fall asleep at any moment). He's really engaging in this - and probably the only reason that I didn't end up completely hating this movie. He also does a brilliant job at getting the audience to feel how defeated he is - he's in a car accident, is shot and stabbed, and still continues - but not in a typical action-hero kind of way. Instead, you are genuinely left wondering if he's just going to collapse at any moment. I think I was expecting some sort of twist or something, especially with Alicia Vikander's character (again, another OSCAR-WINNING actress taking a bit part in an action thriller. WTF), but it ends up being a fairly straight-forward story about a normal guy just being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It's not a bad movie - but I can't say that there is anything memorable about it. I think if they established the characters better in the beginning then I might have cared more about them, but it just starts off instantly slow and dull. 

5. The Last Letter from Your Lover - Not a terrible romance drama. It actually held my attention and has a satisfying conclusion. I also really like 3/4 of the cast - Shailene Woodley gets better and better with every role, Felicity Jones is always a delight, and Joe Alwyn has a really intriguing presence. Honestly, if Alwyn was in the "lover" role, the movie would have been even better. Callum Turner is the worst part of the movie - he has no screen presence, no charisma at all, which definitely hurts the *most* essential part of this story - the chemistry that is necessary for the audience to fall deep for this love story. The older version of this couple had more chemistry just in their 2 minutes of screen time together. The best part of this movie, though, is the costume design. Her outfits are TO DIE FOR (wouldn't it be wonderful to just lounge all day in a white bathing suit and big white sun hat?? But honestly, just the thought of it stresses me out - I would most definitely get something on the white bathing suit, or worry that it's see-thru, and with my luck it would be a windy day and that hat would just go flying right off my head. But in movie land, it just seems like such a relaxing, peaceful experience). The film is definitely not for everyone - it's a slightly better Nicholas Sparks type story about unrequited love, but there is something very charming and lovely about it. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Jolt - It's not the worst movie of 2021, but it's certainly not good. There are certain parts that I can stick up for - the concept is actually pretty interesting and it's satisfying watching Kate Beckinsale beat the shit out of mean & rude assholes. And speaking of Beckinsale, I've been a fan since Pearl Harbor, and she does her very best to have some fun with the clunky dialogue. Plus, she's hot (it seems it's become sort of a faux pas to mention how hot actors/actresses are in movie/tv reviews, which I think if you're writing professionally, then, sure, I guess that's something that should be fazed out. But I don't write professionally (clearly), so you will never get me to stop talking about how hot Taron Egerton is, even if he isn't in the movie I'm writing about). There are also some funny/memorable moments - *slight spoiler ahead, but just so you understand what you're in for* she throws newborn babies at a cop to get away. I mean, like hurls them across the room. It would be totally offensive if it weren't so ridiculous and just fucking funny). Unfortunately, everything else about the movie is just really awful. I think it's supposed to take place in NYC (??) or maybe just an undetermined city (??), but definitely America - and it's very clearly not filmed in America and they do an absolutely abysmal job in hiding that fact (even the license plates aren't American). I also hate the narration in the beginning (show don't tell, and obviously that is a very famous person's voice who will likely appear in the movie at some point). Also, *spoiler* it's clear, and unfortunate, that Jai Courtney would have a bigger role - he's too big of a name to only be in it for a few minutes. And on a side-note, doesn't Beckinsale look like Ashley Benson in the poster or is that just me? 

2. Fear Street Part 3: 1666 - Well, this is definitely the worst of the three films. I have to say, though, overall I respect what the trilogy accomplishes. And it's something of a different strategy for streaming services to attempt - weekly feature films released more as an anthology (I think that if this is what Small Axe did, then I would have less of a problem with them being considered "films"). The movies, though, just fell flat to me. There is nothing new to add to the horror genre - instead they relied on old cliches and nostalgia to tell a rather dull ghost/witch story. They were smart in releasing the 94 one first, and working backwards because if they released this one first, I don't think I would have continued. I knew that the theme of the third film would be the one that I liked the least - it's basically a colonial witch hunt story (which reminds me of The VVitch, and no thank you) and, as many have noted, the Irish accents are hilariously bad (and unnecessary?). I do think that it's weird that they spent the last part of this one going back to the 94 one because it felt so jarring. I don't think it necessarily had to end so tightly - they could have left a lot of things open for interpretation. But I guess it would be even weirder to release a Part Two of Fear Street Part 1. 

3. The Forty-Year-Old Version - What a fitting movie to watch the week after I turned 40. I absolutely adored this movie. It feels refreshing, inspiring & genuine. Plus, it's really fucking funny. Just 12 minutes in and I laughed out loud four times ("this isn't Dangerous Minds" LOL). But, the laughs don't stop there - I think my favorite part is the multiple references to an "all female production of 12 Angry Men", but it's honestly too difficult to pick a favorite part. It's all just funny. There are also parts that really hit at your emotions too - her first rap performance is just devastating and I think really represents how hard it is to do something new. And I love the focus on the art, poetry, and talent that goes into rapping. I feel like that's been lost nowadays, but I'm also 40 so I'm very aware that there is a generational gap between what I'm used to and what rap has become. There is also a lot to say about depictions of blackness in the theater community (and is the same in films/tv) and how white people are continually utilizing performative gestures to combat racism instead of actually listening to what POC are telling us. It honestly must be infuriating, and I'm glad that Radha Blank doesn't sugarcoat it. The end dialogue with all the different meanings of FYOV ("Find Your Own Voice", "Fuck You Old Vultures", "Fund Your Own Vision, and finally "Forty-Year-Old Version") is so empowering and beautiful. My only two critiques are: that I hate that it's in black & white (I just feel like there is so much vibrancy to the story - I would have preferred if that translated to the visuals) and that it's too long (just like every single other movie made nowadays). But honestly, fuck my opinion, because Blank tells her story how she wants to and it is wonderful. 

4. Every Breath You Take - I already knew that this was going to be a trashy thriller just by the poster and title alone, but I do love me some Michelle Monaghan. I've been a huge fan of hers since Boston Public, and I'm so disappointed that she hasn't become a massive star. Instead, she's always relegated to the "wife" roles (although I think she does these roles well, and sometimes this role becomes the bigger role, like in The Path which deserved a lot more attention than it received). I would love to see her do something different, though, like take a big risk. Anyway, I also had some hope that this might be more than a "trashy thriller" simply because Casey Affleck is in it? You know, ACADEMY AWARD WINNER Casey Affleck. Does that not mean anything, anymore? Why is he acting in and producing Lifetime quality thrillers? Make it make sense. So, the movie is bad, obviously. The cast is great, but the plot is just really slow-moving and seemingly predictable. My mind started to wander about half-way through, in which I started wishing I had a lap pool (like the one featured in the movie). I would love to be able to go for a swim every day. And about how I could swear that Sam Caflin was older than me (he's only 35!). But then suddenly, the twist happens and it's kind of unexpected (*spoiler* I knew that his patient probably didn't commit suicide - because, um...who commits suicide by jumping off of a two-story house? Nobody, that's who.). I wasn't expecting the "other" twist, though, and it kind of makes the whole movie work. It's still a trashy thriller, but definitely a well-written one. 

5. The Suicide Squad - Just a whole lot of fun. This is what I want out of comic book movies, honestly. When I think back to when I first started to enjoy this genre, my mind automatically goes to Spider-Man, but in reality, my love of this genre goes back deep with Howard the Duck. I can't even tell you how many times I watched Howard the Duck as a kid - it was just on, endlessly. And I used to sing the song ALL the time. So much so, that one of my biggest memories of my mom is her banning Howard the Duck. She was just so fed up with it that I was suddenly not allowed to watch it anymore (and I don't think I've seen it since then?). It's odd that as a kid, I became so obsessed with certain movies that I would watch them on repeat (at that time, I also did this with Uncle Buck, Adventures in Babysitting and Flight of the Navigator, then later I did it again with Speed), but now I rarely re-watch movies. And back to my point, the only ones in this genre that I find rewatchable are the more fun ones - specifically Guardians of the Galaxy. I've tried watching others if they are on tv (there is always Marvel marathons on any given channel at any given time) and I always get bored and turn it off. That's not to say that I don't enjoy the more "serious" ones, like The Dark Knight trilogy etc. (also, I guess I should be more specific that I'm talking about superhero comics because I obviously re-watch the Kingsman movies endlessly). Anyway, back to this movie, it just revels in its ridiculousness and I enjoyed every second. It's obnoxious and crass at times and completely unapologetic in killing innocent people, but I'm not sure why people expected otherwise? They are all criminals - we aren't supposed to, like, idolize any of them (again, why people do this with Harley Quinn is fucking baffling to me). It's basically a combination Guardians (a bunch of unlikely heroes forming a bond and saving the world) mixed with The Boys (the unlikely heroes are all villains, plus the violence and unapologetic nature of it puts it in this category). Honestly, I expected the violence to be worse (I mean nothing in it comes close to the dolphin scene in The Boys). I also think that they did a much better job at creating the comradery in this (sequel? reboot? It's not important), instead of focusing on just two main characters - every single one of them (and there's a lot) are given memorable moments. I actually look forward to re-watching it (someday...). 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Fear Street Part 2: 1978 - Even though I didn't really like Part 1, I had high hopes for this. The trailer for it sure looked fantastic. The whole summer camp Friday the 13th vibe seemed more focused and contained than what became of the first part. Plus, I like that another Stranger Things cast member was part of the main cast (Sadie Sink - she just fits into the late 70s/early 80s aesthetic so well). Unfortunately, I found it quite dull. Not necessarily any better or worse than the first part. Half of it is focused on two girls who are both really, really terrible actresses and both have really awful haircuts that are not flattering for their face (and also, look like wigs?). The other half (featuring Sadie) is better, but also quite predictable. I just hate the whole supernatural aspect. Slasher horror is far more terrifying if it feels real so as soon as they are like "a witch made them like that", I'm out. It's just not scary. And somehow the needle drops are even more obvious in this one - "(Don't Fear) The Reaper", seriously? Come on. Do better. *spoiler ahead* I will say that the ending is fan-fucking-tastic, with the sisters being brutally stabbed - it was unexpected and really brilliantly gory. 

2. Gunpowder Milkshake - I liked this! I read a few reviews that cite the beginning as strong, but then it flattens out, but I felt the exact opposite. I was really skeptical in the beginning. It felt so forced, so unoriginal (basically combining John Wick and Kill Bill...Ugh...), and what a dumb fucking title. And I've loved Karen Gillan in most things, but when she's bad...she's really bad. And she's really bad in the beginning of this. The outfit in the beginning also does her no favors (why in the world is she dressed like Carmen Sandiego? The hat, the collar popped - she would stand out wherever she went and that is obviously not the intent). Then she has this whole fight scene in a bowling alley that is just so unbelievably unrealistic - she fights like 6 guys (who are bigger than her and are also trained assassins) at the same time. I screamed at the screen "use the fucking bowling balls" because that's the only believable way she would physically be able to overpower them. And THEN she does...and I think it's the moment the whole movie won me over (actually, that combined with when she breaks the mop in half and uses the stick as a weapon ala Buffy the Vampire Slayer). Also, what a dream cast of women - Angela Bassett, Lena Headey, Michelle Yeoh, and CARLA GUGINO (I love her so much). There are some really cool scenes - the scene where she can't use her arms, for instance. Just pure action, filmed in a really exciting way. The way the camera moves throughout the action sequences is so smooth, too. The world-building is done really well - they can easily make sequels, prequels, and spin-offs with ease (and I feel like they probably will?). Overall, I had a ton of fun and I think that's saying a lot considering how critical I was in the beginning. 

3. The Empty Man - *some spoilers ahead* Ooooh a supernatural horror movie that actually scared me a little bit! It's been so long (I think maybe since The Babadook?). Not like, nightmare inducing or anything, but it definitely got under my skin and when I went to bed I definitely scanned my room for any creepy shadows. There are three scenes that really stuck with me - first, the one in the sauna room (it's just a perfectly shot, classically styled horror scene), second, the one where he wakes up and sees the shadow moving (which is why I now scan the room for such things that don't exist, obviously) and third, the cult in the forest all running at the same time. All of it is just so fucking creepy. I like that it took more of a cult twist instead of just straight up supernatural. And I expected a twist - not the one that we are give, but I did think that certain people are "in on it" to make him feel mentally unstable. The film really boils down to the lesson of "don't cheat on your wife or bad things will happen". I also really like James Badge Dale and Marin Ireland a lot. People have slept on Dale, but he's a great actor (and he gets hotter as he gets older). I could already tell you before the movie started that this movie does not need to be over 2 hours in length and...I was absolutely right. However, it does move really quickly and remains interesting through the whole thing. 

4. Music - I debated whether or not I should actually watch this, but ultimately, as a film enthusiast, I try to watch as much as I can - good and bad. And sometimes it's worth watching how something should not be done, not only for learning purposes, but also to appreciate when things are done right. There was a lot of dialogue around this movie - and most of it was very negative. The two big takeaways seem to be that the autistic community felt someone with autism should have played the role, and that the film depicts disturbing and dangerous ways to "handle" someone with autism (i.e restraining them during episodes, etc.). But MY biggest concern was how Sia handled the criticism - she was so dismissive and disrespectful, that even without seeing the movie, I knew that their concerns were obviously valid. Nobody is perfect, and telling stories outside your own world view is always going to be challenging - but if you're not going to listen and engage with someone within that world view then you should not tell that particular story. I will never agree that an actor HAS to be a part of the community that they are portraying, but I do think every single case is different. Here is an example of what I mean: my boyfriend is half Cuban (his dad and paternal grandparents are political refugees from Cuba), but he is white passing. I asked him if they made a movie about him, would he care if the person playing him was Cuban and he said "no, not at all, for all intents and purposes, I'm a white guy from NJ". BUT a few weeks later, I told him how Javier Bardem was cast as Desi Arnaz and he was like "oh cool, I didn't know Bardem was Cuban", "he's not"...."Oh well that's some bullshit then". And he's right. It is bullshit, because Desi is one of the most famous Cuban-American actors - a Cuban icon, even. It's part of his identity, and therefore it's problematic to cast a non-Cuban actor. I know this isn't completely on-topic, but my point is that it can't just be a blanket casting decision - every single project is different. And if you are going to cast someone outside of the specific community, then you have to, at the very least, make sure that you are handling it with respect. It's clear that this film is not respectful in any way. I don't know much about Maddie Ziegler, but I don't blame her at all. She was a minor while filming this, and trusted the adults around her. Her performance is very exaggerated, and definitely doesn't feel authentic. The storyline is obviously another concern - her sister is basically "burdened" with having to take care of her. I'm pretty sure they hid the fact that Leslie Odom Jr. is part of the main cast because I don't remember him being a part of the discussion at all? I can't stand his voice, so obviously that was hard for me. And Kate Hudson's drunk acting is....something else. The only good thing about this movie is the completely odd musical interludes - they are perfectly Sia. Abstract, joyful, lively - I wish more of the film was like that. 

5. Blood Red Sky - There are some great ideas within this movie. The plot is basically an airplane heist movie combined with a vampire horror movie, which is just as awesome as it sounds. But even better than that, they actually do a great job with the telling both stories. They also do something interesting by making the main character, who is basically "patient zero", into the heroine of the story even though she is a terrifying, blood-thirsty vampire. Which brings me to another great aspect - the vampires are fucking scary in this (I saw some criticism that the movie confuses vampires with zombies, but...I don't agree with that assessment at all). There's also some really strong acting, some fun over-the-top villains, and they even stuck the ending! Overall, I can honestly say that I enjoyed this movie, but ONCE AGAIN...it is totally unnecessary to make this movie this long! Especially because it could have been a stellar movie if the editing was tighter. It just feels long - I paused it thinking there was about 15 minutes left but there was actually still 47 minutes left. I just don't understand why this keeps happening? And it feels like it keeps getting worse.