Thoughts on 5 Films

1. No Time To Die - Am I the only one excited that this is the last of the Craig era Bond? I've seen a lot of criticism that he's just there for a paycheck and his performances are "phoned it" at this point, but then I see the same people continue to be excited for these films so it's a weird dichotomy. As far as these films go, there is definitely a wide range of quality behind them, some have been very good and some have been barely tolerable. But overall, I think they are just over-done. I'm just bored of all of them, and can't wait to see how they reboot the brand to make it interesting. Some of the casting ideas have been wild, but for some reason, I think they may opt to play it safe (and I still can't believe that they don't actually have the next Bond picked already? What the fuck are they waiting for??). There are a few things that stand-out for me with this movie (both good and bad). First, Ana de Armas, in that dress, is spectacular. I already read that her part is very minimal in the movie, so I prepared myself for that, but it is still incredibly disappointing. Her scene is definitely the highlight of the film, and honestly, I could have just watched more of that for 90 minutes and I would have been perfectly happy. Second, Rami Malek is the worst. I'm hoping the hype for him dies down and he stops getting all these big roles he doesn't deserve (again, I was obsessed with his performance in Mr. Robot, but he has been atrocious in everything else I've seen him in. ATROCIOUS. And he has an Oscar. What an insane world we live in). And last, I think they did a nice job with Bond's overall arc and his relationship with Madeleine - it ends in a very satisfying yet predictable way. 

2. Snake Eyes: G.I. Joe Origins - And speaking of the next Bond, I give you: Henry Golding. He's perfect - charming, suave, can do action, drama, comedy. He's the only reason Crazy Rich Asians was watchable (even though I still fell asleep watching it...). Unfortunately, he does not save this movie. I honestly don't remember the other G.I. Joe movies - I *think* Channing Tatum is in them??? I assume they were mostly mediocre, but I don't think I hated them. This one is just plain terrible. There is just soooo much fighting before the plot starts. It just made my mind wander so quickly instead of capturing my attention. The fight sequences are all so cliched too - small alley fighting, train sequences, fighting on moving vehicles, everything that's been done over and over again. BUT THEN, Samara Weaving shows up!! I had no idea she was in this! It's a shame she's not in it very much, because she's obviously the best part. I hope she shows up in the next one - I assume there will be more? It seems like one of those franchises that they just keep going with, even though nobody is asking for more. 

3. Monday - I have no idea why I watched this considering I don't like Bucky (or as I still refer to him as, Carter Baizen...and still I ask, what is his actual name??). I do admit, he is very, very pretty (and he is very, very naked in this movie), but I think he relies a lot on his puppy dog eyes, instead of actually acting. He's also who I picture whenever someone says the word "himbo". I'm not sure why, I don't think I've ever seen him speak outside of his characters, but that's just how I picture him. But, I also love to have actors prove me wrong (and it happens often!). He doesn't, unfortunately. He's not terrible, but this movie is right up my alley and I *know* that if it had actors that I loved, this would probably be one of my favorite movies of 2021. It's reminiscent of other "love stories over time" films like the Before trilogy and the underrated The Disappearance of Eleanor Rigby, it even reminds me a little bit of that Ibiza movie with Richard Madden (it's got a similar story of a one night stand that turns into something more, plus the whole "DJ in paradise" part). And it plays into this particular (straight female) romantic notion of meeting a guy waaaaay out your league (who is also nice and seemingly normal), having reckless, passionate sex with him for 3 days straight, and then having him fall in love with you. I mean who doesn't want that to happen (sorry, ladies, it's....never going to happen). Aside from Bucky, I also do not really like the main actress in this - I don't know what her name is, but it appears that she is a well-known theater actress. She's a decent actress, but her attempt at an American accent is grating - it feels like she is struggling with the pronunciation of words. I did squeal out loud when I saw Naomi Nagata (Dominique Tipper) from The Expanse! I love her so much and now that the series is over, I'm looking forward to seeing her in more stuff (weird to see her without all the Belter tattoos though! Also, her American accent = flawless). Anyway, I like how this relationship devolves into a pretty toxic one without them even realizing (I think that happens all too often and people don't recognize it because they are in it). The dialogue feels really authentic and there are some beautiful smaller moments. I wish there was a clearer picture of how much time has gone by between scenes, and I hate the cut to black to represent a new point in their relationship. Overall, I did like it - solid 3 stars (I even contemplated a 3.5 rating), but, again, if it starred, say...Taron Egerton and Lily James, I would watch it every day for the rest of my life. 

4. Lady of the Manor - Was searching for something quick and light to watch before bed on Amazon Prime, and saw this starring Judy Greer, Melanie Lynskey and RYAN FUCKING PHILLIPPE!! I never pressed play so fast! I love him so much. He seemed like he had a bit of a resurgence a few years ago, but I haven't seen him in much lately. I hope he's not relegated to movies like this though because, as expected, it's quite stupid. But in some ways it's also kind of hilarious. Like the way Phillippe pretty much plays Sebastian from Cruel Intentions again, except he's 20 years older. That had to be done on purpose, right? I'm also happy that Melanie Lynskey is having such a big year - she's adorable and really funny. Plus, she got to be married to Leonardo DiCaprio and makeout with Ryan Phillippe in the same year?!? Girl is living my 1998 dreams. She also reminds me a bit of Drew Barrymore - there is something about the way she talks and the energy she has. Anyway, she definitely makes this really, really terrible, ridiculous movie...watchable (barely). It's always fascinating to me when stuff like this gets made. It was only greenlit because it's from people already somewhat successful in the entertainment industry (written & directed by Justin Long and his brother). Because if a newcomer submitted this script, there is NO WAY it would ever get into the hands of a creative director or producer (interns would have stopped it from ever seeing the light of day). 

5. Swan Song - I've been so excited by Apple+ with their tv series outputs, but not so much by their movies (so far). None have been bad, but most have been mediocre (Palmer, Greyhound, Finch, CODA - can't believe that's nominated for a freakin' Oscar, On the Rocks. The only exception is The Tragedy of Macbeth). This one is exactly that. Mediocre. Exceptional cast - Mahershala Ali, Naomie Harris, Glenn Close, and then...Awkwafina is here to ruin my day (whyyyy is she in so many things?? I just...don't get it). I really like the sci-fi concept - it's smart, futuristic but not unreasonable, and cool visually. But it also could just be an episode of Black Mirror or, actually, more like that dumb Amazon show Solos. It just feels like it's moving in slow-motion, focusing on all these little moments instead of...getting to the point. *slight spoilers* It takes a full HOUR before the anticipated "switch" happens, and then there's still another 45 minutes left in which nothing exciting or interesting happens. It seemed like it was actually going to do a jarring tonal shift, and dip into the horror genre - being forced to watch someone else live your life is quite a terrifying concept, but again, it goes absolutely nowhere. And I think I'm just mostly disappointed with the potential this movie has - even the end could have been an eerie moment with the baby name (the clone doesn't know that he asked to name the baby "Andre", could have been a cool "who is this man, he's not my husband" moment, but nope...). Also, a bit of a nitpicking, but the auto-piloted cars are SO COOL and obviously technology is super advanced in this world, yet he has a normal house with normal appliances? "Smart" houses already exist, but I feel like in this world, they would definitely be commonplace, no? Anyway, I didn't hate this, just saddened by what could have been.