So I expected that "Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps" would be slightly over my head - knowing nothing about the stock market and not remembering the first film at all had me a little worried. However, I didn't expect the film to be the most boring film that I have ever seen. Ever. Here is why I hated it.
1. It wasn't intelligent - It should have gone over my head. Again - I could not tell you the difference between a stock, bond, hedge fund etc. It should have taken me a lot of energy to follow the story. But it didn't. It was dumbed down for a wide (and apparently dumb) audience.
2. It wasn't suspenseful - The plot was ridiculously predictable. Were we ever supposed to believe that Gordon Gekko was not going to screw everyone? There was literally no point at all. There was a lot of talking and a lot of people trying to portray intensity, but not pulling it off. I wouldn't say it was a bad film - I would just say that it was incredibly slow and tedious.
3. To walk out or not - This is what I pondered after the first hour. I checked the time (which I practically never do when I am watching a film - I am usually too invested in the story to get distracted by real world things - like time) and only an hour had past - I thought to myself, is it really necessary for me to sit in this theater for another an hour at least? I wiggled in my chair uncomfortably for another 1/2 hour and looked again. It seriously felt like torture.
4. Shia and company - Shia is a pretty decent young actor - but he has something bigger than acting talent. He has on screen charisma. This special and rare talent was completely ignored and stripped away to create ultimately a character that you have no sympathy for nor do you care about his relationship with his emotionally unstable girlfriend - I am not sure if she was supposed to be a complete nut job or not. She was practically crying in ever scene she appeared in and seemed to blame her whole unfulfilled existence on her "daddy issues". I think she needs to spend some time institutionalized. I think Michael Douglas did a decent job - nothing spectacular. The part that I hated the most was the appearance of Charlie Sheen. I don't know how I missed the fact that he had a cameo - because I usually try my best to avoid supporting a guy who admittedly beat his wife (as should the rest of America - seriously this guy is the highest paid television actor, his show is the number one comedy on television and he plead GUILTY to practically killing his wife. What does this say about us as a nation?). It was my breaking point for me to completely hate this film.