Friday, March 20, 2026

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Smashing Machine -
I like The Rock, but I like him in family adventure movies, not dramas. But, I'll give him a shot - I know the reviews were mostly good and originally there was some mild awards talk. I'm also going to guess that this movie will be exactly what I'm expecting - a wrestler who gets hurt or has some sort of trauma has to fight his way back to the top or whatever. And, I've seen that movie a million times already. I don't know who Mark Kerr is, but I assumed I already knew his story and...dun dun dun...I was right! I have no idea why there is a movie made about this guy. I thought it was about to get interesting when they were hinting that he was going to have to fight his friend (I always think that's an interesting angle - like when football/baseball players get traded to different teams and then have to play against their friends/former teammates. It's weird!), but then that didn't happen so what the Hell is the point of this movie?? I did like some stuff - Emily Blunt is always good and I love how hot she looks with this whole 90s aesthetic. There's a great soundtrack with Elvis' version of My Way, and some Bruce songs. The Rock is...fine, I guess. I think the prosthetics hinder his facial expression (although, he's The Rock, so I'm not sure he would have any facial expression...but still!). 

2. Eternity -
So, my husband saw the ads for this and declared it the dumbest plot for a movie in history, but when he described it to me, I was like "wait...that actually sounds like a good plot for a movie!" Haha! We are very different in our media consumption (actually that's not true because I'll watch pretty much anything - except maybe documentaries, which I still watch some highly rated ones, but I just don't love the genre. He's just *so* picky with what he will watch though, and romantic drama is never going to be an option). BUT IT IS A GOOD PLOT! Basically this woman dies and she has to decide if she wants to spend "eternity" with her first love (who died very young and has been waiting for her on the "other side") or her husband of 65 years (who she has already spent a life with and has a family with.). I think the answer is clear, but I can see the hesitation and it's interesting to explore these options. I wish it had a different cast because choosing between Miles Teller and Callum Turner is a choice (and not a good one - I don't find either one of those men attractive. And God Help Me if Turner is chosen as the next Bond. What.The.Fuck.). And Elizabeth Olsen is so much hotter than both of them! The concept of "eternity" is interesting too - they have to pick a place/activity and that's what they'll do for eternity. I think I would pick a beach setting too (as you can see in the film it is the popular choice, but not as popular as "Man Free World" which is at capacity. HAHA!!), but I would get bored of the sun and the sand EVERY SINGLE DAY for ETERNITY?? No thanks?! There's nothing in the world that I would want to do for ETERNITY. Anyway, I thought this was cute and it reminded me of 90s movies I used to love like Heart and Souls and Ghost

3. Blue Moon -
This is...BORING. Some good stuff, but mostly BORING. I hadn't heard much about this until Ethan Hawke started getting award buzz. Linklater doesn't always work for me though. I do think Hawke is great, probably not award-worthy, but I love him and this is first nomination for a lead actor. I swear to God if Timmy won over these other phenomenal actors, I would have SCREAMED. I don't hate him, he's fine. I actually appreciate his gumption and determination, but to be nominated for THREE Oscars already in his career is insanity. But, anyway, I just didn't love this. I didn't even realize that it was about the writer of the song "Blue Moon"...LOL. It basically gives the audience a backstory between the breakup of him and his writing partner Richard Rogers (who eventually became better known with his new partner - Rogers & Hammerstein). It's him struggling with his ex-partner's success - the jealousy, anger, pettiness of it all. I think I would have actually enjoyed it as a stage production, I just found it dull as a cinematic endeavor. But I like the cast - Bobby Cannavale! Margaret Qualley! Andrew Scott! Love them all, and they are all given moments to shine. I found it weird that they made Qualley SO tall. She's 2 inches shorter than him in real life, but somehow towers over him. It doesn't look natural at all. And you can see where they shaved his head to make it look like a receding hairline! Did no-one on set notice the 5 o'clock shadow on his head?? 

4. The Astronaut -
I think this had the potential behind it to be a good movie, but unfortunately, it's not. I didn't hate it, but I just think it could have been a lot better. Especially with my favorite Mara sister - Kate. It was originally supposed to star Emma Roberts, so Kate Mara is what I would call a GLOW UP! I like the sci-fi horror, paranoia thriller vibe, and it's definitely engaging. I also appreciate that the ending is BATSHIT CRAZY. I respect it! Like, if you're going to go there, then fully commit - and they did indeed. But the rest of the movie is filled with convenient plotlines and foreshadowing, and mostly this brilliant astronaut being incredibly dumb (lock your doors and stay inside, crazy lady!). There are just some very bad scenes that make no logical sense. And why is her daughter dressed like she works at Anthropologie? And the backwards hat? It's like someone who knows nothing about children was the costume designer on this. Even my husband (who knows nothing about children) was like, "why is the kid wearing that? Who dressed her??" - that's how weird it is. Anyway, I don't have much else to say - even though I found it average, I would still recommend it to anyone who appreciates sci-fi horror films. There's a good story and a decent cast. 

5. Rental Family -
This is a good movie, but I probably would have loved it if it didn't star Brendan Frasier. I'm sorry, he seems like a very nice, authentic, thoughtful person, but he's a terrible actor and he always has been! This resurgence is WILD. An OSCAR?! Get the fuck out of here. But, he did learn Japanese for this, so I respect that. And he's not terrible or anything, I just know I would have liked this film better with an actor who...can...act. I think it's a really interesting plot about a cultural idea that feels very different but also might be part of our future (in America) but with AI instead of people (scary thought!). It's about this American actor in Japan who is having trouble booking jobs, so he becomes a paid companion. But not *just* a companion. He's basically paid to act out scenarios for people as a coping mechanism. It's interesting that Japan is so shut-off to therapy and mental health programs so people pay other people to help them heal in a different way. I can't say that I fully understand why anyone would do this, but it's an interesting concept. I just think you need to exist in reality - and that includes pain, heartbreak, loneliness, etc. It's all part of being human. Role playing your life away is SO weird to me, but whatever floats your boat. The movie is cute, though. And heartwarming. Nothing I'll remember a year from now, but I enjoyed it. It definitely could have been a 90 minute movie (and would have probably been a 4 star movie if they tightened it up). Also, I laughed really hard at the toothpaste commercial - it reminded me of Joey from Friends Japanese commercial for Ichiban. Haha!

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