Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Mickey 17 - I liked this more than I thought I would, but it's still a 3 star movie. For some reason, I thought I was going to hate it?! And I like Bong Joon Ho! I think I just got annoyed by all of the overwhelming praise for Parasite. I mean, it's a good movie. Great even. But it wasn't even in my top 3 films of 2019 and it's crazy that it's picked as the "best" film of the last 25 years (according to the people who voted in that NYT poll. Drive didn't even make the list out of 100 films, so that list is automatically null and void in my opinion). But as far as this movie goes - I wouldn't exactly call it a "good" movie, but I love the ideas and the ambition so it gets a solid thumbs up from me. It's just in need of some deep editing. It's so easy to pick out the 20 minutes of film that could have been cut to make the story more cohesive and interesting. Instead, it lingers way too long on every scene and has so many moments that are just unnecessary. I'm also not the biggest fan of these acting performances. I can take or leave Robert Pattinson - he's been good in some stuff, definitely, but the voice he does here is so annoying. It sounds like he's doing a Danny DeVito impression and it doesn't match his physical appearance. It's almost like his voice has been dubbed over with someone else's voice. And this is the third thing I've seen Naomi Ackie in, so I can confirm - she can't act. I rolled my eyes hard with that single tear drop she manages to squeeze out. Her acting just feels so forced. And what the fuck is Mark Ruffalo doing here??? A Trump impression? It's soooo hard to watch. Steven Yeun and Toni Collette are the saving graces, but barely. The little alien creatures are super cute though!! And the plot is fun and original. 

2. Cleaner - I want to like Daisy Ridley, I really do...but she's not often cast in things that I enjoy. I'm convinced I can be swayed to like her if she just got cast in better roles (she was fine in the Star Wars movies, but I'm talking about everything else she's been in). I didn't really even want to watch this, but there was literally no other new movies available on any of my streaming services (at the time! Now I'm overwhelmed with options. I'm back to being very behind on my movie watching and also these posts! I watched this like 3 weeks ago!). But I thought this could be fun, and it had an interesting idea behind it. But it's just very average, very predictable, and very stupid. I mean, she WAKES UP WITH EYE LINER ON. It's one of my biggest pet peeves in movies. There are some cool parts - first, being a high-rise window cleaner is actually a very cool job. I bet the views are spectacular and it probably pays very well. Second, I like the idea that it's basically a Jason Statham movie but starring a woman instead. And third, there is some great fight choreography. But the predictability of it is mind-numbing. The whole brother side-plot, the whole Clive Owen being a bad guy but not as bad as the "real" bad guys is just obvious from the get go. And the bad guys being more of a protest against the wealthy thing only works if YOU DON'T KILL people. If you kill innocent people, you're the bad guy - it's not that complicated. 

3. A Working Man - And speaking of Jason Statham....I was hoping this was a bit more fun than it turned out to be. It's a very expected film. It's like Taken and John Wick, but...not very good? I just thought with Jason Statham, directed by David Ayer (and co-written by Sylvester Stallone!?), that it would be, at the very least, a solid action film. But there's just nothing really to it. This "working man" construction guy who used to be ex-military gets caught up with the Russian mob because they kidnap his boss' daughter for human trafficking. And he spends the whole movie fighting ridiculous villains that lead to nowhere until the end. The end. There's a whole subplot about him fighting for custody of his daughter that is literally completely dropped (does he get it? I guess we'll never know? or assume this rescue of another person will help him in court somehow?). They underuse Michael Pena too - because he could have been funny (at least before his daughter is kidnapped?) to provide some lightness but he's just this very serious boss. Just cast someone else if that's what the role is. I also think it's just a bit ridiculous - the second they have her they would ship her off somewhere. They wouldn't torture her and explain what's happening to her. That's not how human trafficking works. Anyway, there are way better dumb Statham movies to watch - this one feels like a waste of time and energy. 

4. Snow White (2025) - I'm constantly amazed at how big movies like this turn out so awful - like, how did producers watch the dailies for this and not realize it before it was too late? There are SO many things wrong with this movie and Rachel Zegler is about the only thing that's not wrong and YET she took all the blame! The biggest problem is CLEARLY Gal Gadot. I admit, I fully loved Gal when she was cast as Wonder Woman. And I still think she's great in that role. But, she's proven over and over again that that was an anomaly. She can't act. And she DEFINITELY can't sing (seriously, I thought my ears were going to bleed during her song). Why would they have her sing? Are the producers deaf? At least dub over it with someone who can? It's so WEIRD. The next problem is the creepy-as-fuck CGI dwarves. Who made that decision? Who saw those creations and thought "perfect for a kid's movie!"? Next, what the fuck did they do to Zegler's hair? Once the teaser was released and everyone pointed out that she looked like Lord Farquaad from Shrek, I couldn't unsee it. The overall costume design is horrendous too - Gadot's crown looks like it came from a Burger King kids meal and painted metallic purple. I would appreciated more creativity in the costume and hair/makeup design instead of trying to reproduce the original animation. And my final big problem with this film is that the guy who plays the prince (who isn't a prince?) is very, very boring. They have zero chemistry. And I'm pretty sure he's not straight (which is fine - I don't care if gay actors play straight just like I don't care if straight actors play gay, but you should be able to come off as straight for it to work. He does not. Like, at all.). There are many, many, many more smaller issues with this film - but there is some good stuff. Rachel is perfect in the role - she sounds amazing, has this sweet, innocent whimsy to her that reads really well onscreen. I honestly think she's just had the shittiest luck with film roles (her West Side Story debut was rattled with controversy due to Ansel Egort, then the Shazam sequel bombed for a lot of reasons but mostly due to Zachary Levi turning out to be a total asshole). I know she's currently doing some London theater now (also plagued by controversy because she sings the big number to the street crowd, which I actually think is super, duper cool!), but she has nothing listed for upcoming film projects which is concerning. I hope she gets something else soon that can focus on her talent and not controversy. The song "Waiting on a Wish" is really pretty. And I just like the story of Snow White a lot - I always imagined that if I got lost in the woods all the wild animals and creatures would lead me to safety and be my friends. A bear would definitely not eat me. 

5. Echo Valley - I never even heard of this movie STARRING JULIANNE MOORE AND SYDNEY SWEENEY (!!!) until it showed up on Apple +. That's WILD to me. A film starring a 5 time Oscar nominee (and one time winner), and one of the hottest young actresses around...and it's just a blip on a streaming service? As soon as I saw it, I don't think I've ever hit the "play" button so fast! It's Julianne Moore AND Sydney Sweeney?! Hell YES. Unfortunately, it's not great. But the ending definitely saves it. There's a strong story, and a strong beginning, but once the whole "hostage" part happens it becomes very stupid and very boring. Overall, I think I liked it though (solid 3 stars), but I think it could have had a little more intensity and a slightly faster pace. And, another unfortunate aspect is that Sweeney isn't in it all that much. She's in the beginning and seems like a co-lead, but she all but disappears from the rest of the film. Domhnall Gleeson has a bigger role - and he's great as this super creepy scumbag (he's better at these roles than the romcom roles he tries to do). While I like that the story is about this woman who will do anything to protect her daughter, I also think there has to be a limit where you say "no more" - it's obvious that the beginning is a set-up, and I can see forgiving someone for that (maybe), but once it turns into physical violence and threatens my animal, I would be OUT. I did look up filming locations for this because that lake looked familiar, and YUP it's filmed in NJ! I do remember reading about Sydney being in NJ for filming so this must have been the film (there are a ton of things filmed by the town I work in so I don't even blink an eye about it anymore). I think it's funny that they couldn't even make that lake look appealing in a film. Lakes are so disgusting and I'm amazed at how many people swim in dirty, green, cloudy water that has no current or cleaning system. Just hundreds of gross people swimming in standing water. Fucking gross. Anyway, like I said, this has a fantastic ending - sort of a twist, but it's obvious that something is going to give. There's definitely a big "cat and mouse"/"who's playing who" climax that ends the film on a high note.