Movie Marathon: Pirates of the Caribbean

1. The Curse of the Black Pearl - The first Pirates of the Caribbean is incredible - a near perfect blockbuster movie. And I'm happy to report that I still feel like this after this rewatch since it's been a while since I've seen it (at least 15 years). I actually used to watch it a lot because I was obsessed with Orlando Bloom circa-early 2000s. I used to watch all of his filmography on repeat (yes a lot of them were bad, and he's also not always the best actor. I recognize that now!). I've probably seen this one upwards of 30 times, at least. I also loved Johnny Depp as a child of the 80s/90s (now he was in some great movies - Edward Scissorhands, Benny & Joon, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, and, of course, the classic tv show, 21 Jump Street). Obviously, I'm not the biggest fan of his now, but I wish he would seek help and turn his life around. The trio of Bloom, Depp, and Kiera Knightley was simply perfect. The special effects are great. The score is incredible. It's a swashbuckling good time that mixes genres - it's an action romance, but there's also a bit of horror mixed in. Love it. On a side-note, I didn't realize that Zoe Saldana is in this?! I didn't connect that at all, but she really is in the biggest film franchises of all-time (Avatar, Guardians of the Galaxy, Star Trek, and this! Incredible!). 

2. Dead Man's Chest - I don't remember liking any of the sequels to this, and I wasn't even sure whether I had seen them all when I embarked on this movie marathon. I know I've seen through the third one, but not so sure about the last two. So after watching this, I did like this - it's not comparable to the first one, but it's a good time. I like that they continue to give Elisabeth a non-damsel-in-distress arc. She's part of the action and they all save each other throughout the series. There's a lot of funny bits (I love when Jack sees Elisabeth and says "hide the rum!". It's a great callback joke). Also, the motion capture for Davy Jones is SO GOOD (portrayed to perfection by Bill Nighy). I remember the character of the voodoo witch, but I didn't realize that was Naomie Harris! The series continues to cast really impeccable actors. The problem with this one, though, it's only slightly longer than the first, but it feels so much longer (and this trend continues with the rest of them). It's very bloated and excessive. 

3. At World's End - This is where things really start to go downhill...and fast. I don't know why this one is so bad because it's still Gore directing it, and it's still the original main cast. But it's just so repetitive and LONG at almost 3 full hours, which is totally unnecessary. There are SO many scenes that I would instantly cut altogether, and the scenes with mini Jack Sparrow and his hallucinations are AWFUL. It's also just really boring and it loses its own plot about half-way through. It's all just so convoluted. It's no wonder I didn't have any interest in watching the rest of the series after watching this. Harris has a bigger role in this, which is not a good thing (the character becomes very grating), and Keith Richards shows up for some reason. I stopped paying attention for almost an entire hour and I didn't feel like anything of importance happened. 

4. On Stranger Tides - I get trying to reinvigorate the series with a new cast, but it's a HUGE mistake to make this movie without Orlando and Kiera. They ARE the franchise. The chemistry between the three of them was key in making the first one so successful. And it's what made the third one even slightly watchable. Adding in Penelope Cruz is not a fix for that, even though she is STUNNING. Once I saw her, it did trigger a memory of this movie, so I may have watched it or I might just be remembering the marketing for it. Nothing else about it seemed familiar. It's not as long as the third one but it still feels too long! Also, by this point, I feel like Jack Sparrow becomes a very annoying character of himself. It's almost like Depp is doing an impression of Jack instead of genuinely portraying him. I was not expecting a young Sam Claflin. And also Stephen Graham as a pirate made me giggle. This movie just feels really uneven, none of the cast have any chemistry, and it's, once again, very boring. I feel like I'm watching one long pirate adventure story and the same thing keeps happening over and over again. It's a special kind of torture. 

5. Dead Men Tell No Tales - Finally on to the last one! I think this is my worst marathon series yet, considering I hated 3 out of 5 of the films! I'm so glad it's over. This one was released when I had this blog, so I'm positive that if I watched it, I would have written about it on here. So I'm 99% sure that this is a first-time watch, so I tried really hard to pay attention to the whole thing. But I failed miserably - it's the SAME MOVIE AGAIN! They attempt a bit of a reboot with this - with Kaya Scodelario and some other young guy that I recognize but I don't like. I LOVE Kaya, but the chemistry is lacking and I don't care about either of them. There are some pluses - Orlando is back AND it's NOT 3 hours long!!! But, overall, I was bored and it somehow looks worse than the rest of the films which is a weird phenomenon because the tech has supposedly gotten better over the years. But I think this an early version of de-aging tech and it is terrible! De-aging Johnny Depp is especially bad because we know what Depp looked like young and it certainly is not that. This one does have a more cohesive storyline and isn't as bloated as the previous two. Plus, I laughed once (at the "horology" banter). I was also SHOCKED that Kiera shows up at the end and has NO DIALOGUE??? How did they get her to do that? Oh I just looked it up...3 million will definitely do it. LOL. 

Ranking: 

The Curse of the Black Pearl

Dead Man's Chest 

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Dead Men Tell No Tales 

On Stranger Tides 

At World's End