2. Final Destination 2 - OK so this is the one with the log truck - and an incredible opening sequence of a freeway pileup. Unfortunately it seems like they spent their entire budget and creativity in this opening because the rest of the movie is very blah. And kind of stupid. It feels more made-for-television, and the cast is pretty much a bunch of no-names - except Larter and Todd who reprise their roles. Oh and Mickey from the US version of Shameless is in it for a quick minute, but a very memorable one. The rest of the cast are awful. Also, on a sidenote, the guy who wins the lottery looks a lot like Sebastian Stan but with blonde hair?! Anyway, aside from the first sequence, none of the other kills are very memorable. And they spend too much time setting up the kills to keep the audience guessing, but I feel like it's just grating. And a lot of stuff happens that doesn't make sense. Like, who took the picture of the kid from the first one (the one that looks like suicide)?? And then they released the picture of a dead kid hanging himself...to the press? WHAT? In what world??? Then, all the way towards the end of the movie, they all realize that they are connected to the people on flight 180 - even though they've spent the whole beginning of the movie talking about what happened to these people. Why did it take them so long to connect the dots? They are all so dumb and the movie is dumb.
3. Final Destination 3 - After my disappointment with the second one, I tempered my excitement for this one. But this one is GOOD! It helps that it stars an actual good actress - Mary Elizabeth Winstead. I LOVE her and I did not remember her being in this movie AT ALL. I didn't think I remembered this one, but I realized that this one had way more of an impact than the second one because there are several memorable kills. The tanning bed one is another one that became a genuine fear among women my age. The way those two girls die is so gory, spectacular, and also HILARIOUS. Plus, the opening sequence with the rollercoaster is incredible (and honestly seems more realistic than the previous opening sequences. I know everyone is terrified of plane crashes, but they are super rare (yes, even though we hear a lot more about them, they are still rare), and a car crash sequence like that would really involve a whole lot of things going wrong with multiple people. But a rollercoaster flying off the tracks like could come down to one tiny screw loose and an incompetent teenager at the helm!). Another weird thing about this is that it's almost like it's part of the Glee universe - it takes place at a McKinley High, has the late Cory Monteith in a tiny role, along with the gym teacher from Glee. It's spookier if you also consider that THREE of the main original cast members of that show are now dead. Anyway, I was surprised at how much I liked this one - it's probably the best one in terms of acting, it has gloriously gory kills, and has another strong ending.
4. The Final Destination - I was not expecting this one to be worse than 2, but this one is flat-out terrible. 1-star territory. I had high hopes when I realized it starred Shantel VanSanten because I like her in a lot of things (For All Mankind, Shooter, The Boys), but this came out during her One Tree Hill days, and she used to be an awful actress. There's also Krista Allen, who I haven't seen in a while (remember back in the day when she used to date George Clooney?!), and Bubba from Forest Gump (god, he must hate that he'll always be Bubba Gump and people probably talk to him about all the varieties of shrimp! It's like when I met the guy who plays Fun Bobby from Friends and he told me that people just yell "it's Fun Bobby!" at him, everywhere he goes). But unfortunately, there's nothing good about it. The whole race car disaster in the beginning is dull - and definitely the weakest of all the FD opening sequences, although quite possibly the goriest (?). I also realized quickly that this was released in 3D because the way the kills are all filmed with stuff coming towards the screen, etc. That might have looked cool in a theater in 3D, but on my tv at home it just looks stupid. But the real reason that this is so bad is because it feels very rushed. It's just one kill scene after the next, with no story at all. And it's all really stupid (they just walk onto an active crime scene where 52 people died and they haven't even cleaned up the blood??? OKAY, sure). They don't even grieve the people who died - they literally toast each other with champaign because they survived, even though people were graphically killed in front of them. There's also, oddly, a lot of racists in this one? Why? Because it centers around car racing? That's a little bit of a cliched stereotype that feels unnecessary.
5. Final Destination 5 - So, this one isn't exactly good, HOWEVER, the ending is so FUCKING good and shocked me to my core. I somehow wasn't spoiled, and I didn't watch it until years after its release. But, *surprise and spoiler alert!!* this one is a very stealthy PREQUEL! And it ENDS on that tragic flight 180 from the first one. It's fucking brilliant, and on first watch, I literally stared at the screen for a solid 5 minutes after it was over like, "wait...did that just fucking happen???". I was looking forward to watching it to see just how they successfully accomplished this - it obviously has to take place pre-2000, but we don't know that until the end. And a lot has changed in those 11 years - phones, cars etc. I'm surprised that they don't really hide it. The opening scene features an old flip phone and a car that definitely looks like it's from the 90s, but it's subtle enough for an audience to overlook these signs. There's also someone listening to Everclear, and a reference to Lisa Loeb! It's all there, but somehow it just doesn't register. But something else, is a dead giveaway - they don't reference the previous deaths like all the other sequels do (because they didn't happen yet!!!). There's also some great death scenes. The laser eye one is an instant classic. But the gymnastic scene is iconic - the build up of suspense is so insane and then you'll never guess how she actually dies (it's hilarious). I think the cast is a little bit of a letdown - there's a low budget Anna Faris and a low budget Dave Franco, and then Courtney B, Vance for some reason. But overall, this one is back to being fun - and I love the end credits showing all the subsequent deaths that happen. I'm really looking forward to the next one - I'm avoiding the trailer but I caught the teaser with the glass breaking into the ice and then being scooped up into a drink. It's brilliant. I had no idea what I was watching and at first I was like "what the fuck is this?" and then when the Final Destination: Bloodlines title appeared I was like "FUCK YES THAT WAS BRILLIANT!!" Haha!!
Ranking:
Final Destination
Final Destination 3
Final Destination 5
Final Destination 2
The Final Destination
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