3 Thoughts on Argylle

1. Matthew Vaughn, never change - I know he's not for everyone, but I just love him to death. This movie is so over-the-top, I don't even know where to begin. But it's also filled with scenes that you would never imagine in your wildest dreams! So, I AM HERE FOR IT. I can just picture him thinking out loud and saying "what if we have her ice skate on oil while she fights the bad guys", to a room full of suits looking at him like he's insane. Nothing can top the first Kingsman movie - especially the church scene, and I remember laughing my ass off during the end when all of the brain implants are activated and they all blow up but instead of showing actual heads being blown to smithereens, they just have the heads turn into this stunning firework display. I honestly still get a kick out of it. It's just so funny (and I think about that scene all the time with Musk announcing his brain implants! Why would anyone do that? He could blow your head up into a firework!). But, I think there's good effort in this for Vaughn to top himself, and I appreciate it. Some of the CGI is a little wonky, so it doesn't look as good as it should. And the CGI cat is kind of annoying (I like the idea of the cat - with him in that backpack joining the action! So funny! But, unfortunately, it just looks like a fake cat the whole time). But otherwise, I had a good time and was entertained. I think reviews were overly harsh - most just taking this movie way too seriously. It's supposed to be ridiculous, that's what makes it fun. 

2. That hair! - We all knew Henry Cavill was going to have that ridiculous haircut once the first images of the movie were released. I assumed there would be a reason for it...but there's not? That's just how he looks? I know he's a figment of her imagination, but why is she imagining him like that? But, I actually want to talk about a different hairstyle - Bryce's blonde makeover during the last act of the film??? Why did they do that to her? They, like, try to make her "sexy" for the 3rd act, but I think any man (and woman) would tell you she is waaay sexier before the new look. They do the same thing to Sam Rockwell, too, by giving him frosted tips for the ending. It's all just really hard to look at, and I think the reason is because, in movies, spies are supposed to be hot and aspirational, and in this, they are all...not (due to styling, not actual hotness). It's just a weird choice, and definitely the worst part of the movie. I'm also not the biggest fan of this group of actors. Aside from Sam Rockwell, I don't rate any of them very highly. I like Bryce Dallas Howard a lot, but I don't think she picks the best roles for her acting ability (and she's an awesome director! Stick with that!). But I do think this is the best I've ever seen her. I've said my thoughts on Cavill before (dead behind the eyes), and thankfully Dua Lupa and Ariana DeBose are not in it enough to effect the movie. Luckily, two other actors who weren't advertised as much (Bryan Cranston & Catherine O'Hara) are in it way more than I was expecting. That being said, I do think part of Vaughn's charm is to cast people in roles that others might not think of (like Julianne Moore as an evil drug lord or Colin Firth kicking ass and taking names in the Kingsman movies). Someone posted on Twitter how great it was to see Howard, a curvier actress, in a role like this, and OF COURSE, a lot of people had opinions ("stop reducing women to their body shape!" and "this isn't new, she was in a huge blockbuster franchise already!"). BUT, BUT...but...it IS a great thing to witness??! And, yes, she was in the Jurassic World franchise, which is an action movie, but it's mostly here running away and escaping dinosaur carnage. This is her as a successful spy - in detailed fight sequences, fucking up the bad guys! The only comparison I can think of is Angelina Jolie who was often touted as being "curvy" but if you look at pictures of her from Tomb Raider- she's a STICK! Look how skinny her arms and legs are! I just found Howard, in this role, to be incredibly refreshing and extremely sexy. Both women and men want to see more of this, so let's make this the first step into a change in Hollywood and action films! *crosses fingers & toes for a Christina Hendricks led action movie*

3. The "twist" - I may have already spoiled part of the twist with the last paragraph, but this part will obviously contain spoilers. If you remember when the film was first announced, then you already know the twist too. I pay attention to Matthew Vaughn films, so I already knew that it was about "a spy who has amnesia and becomes an author to regain her memory" or something like that, because it was part of the logline (I think Deadline reported it like that). But the amnesia part is supposed to be a big twist. For the first half of the film, the audience is supposed to think that she's an author (of spy novels) who is thrown into this world. I think part of the problem with the film is that....maybe they reworked it so that it would be a twist, but it wasn't originally meant to be? Because assuming I didn't already know, the whole beginning doesn't really work - it's just not believable at all. And the thing is, there are other twists in the movie that make it great, so why not focus on that? I think it would have worked better if in the beginning when she "meets" Rockwell's character, he tells her the truth and she just doesn't believe it. Then we the audience would know (because we already do know!), and we wouldn't have that long wait for the reveal. I just feel like something happened in the editing process to provide more twists and surprises and it just wasn't necessary. It's very over-cooked. Also, when it was announced, I assumed that Vaughn was going to make another spy franchise that could also be connected to Kingsman, and the after-credits scene sure does elude to that, but if that's the case then he shouldn't have cast Kingsman actors like Sam Jackson and Sofia Boutella?? And in roles that can't be connected!!  - I guess Sofia's could, possibly, but I think the timeline would be off (it would have to take place before Kingsman because they both die in it..., although, Kingsman has brought back major dead characters before, so who knows!). Anyway, I just want the third Kingsman movie, that's supposed to be the final Eggsy story (Taron said he only wants to do one more to give Eggsy an ending) - it keeps getting pushed back (Covid, then Taron was booked for other things, then the writer's strike, then Taron was booked for other things! It's like a never ending cycle of rescheduling). I NEED IT NOW!