Thoughts on 5 Films

1. May December - I wasn't expecting to love this as much as I do. It's my favorite of the year (so far! I still have A LOT to see). While I've liked all of the Todd Haynes films I have seen, I haven't truly loved any of them. But, Julianne Moore and Natalie Portman in a film together is already a win. It's insane that they are being overshadowed by a guy who is best known for Riverdale - although I do think that show has a few talented actors, which is why I kept watching it even though it completely chaotic. Charles Melton was definitely always a highlight of the show. But if you asked me to guess which one of them would ever be in Oscar talks, I would probably laugh at the question, and I never would have guessed him. He is, in fact, incredible in this, as are both Moore and Portman. I think it's definitely a film in which context is necessary - and if you don't get the context, then the film is not really going to hit the notes it's meant to hit. So, first, I saw a lot of people, including legit film critics, not know what the phrase "May December" means. But also, a lot don't seem to be familiar with the actual plot based on the Mary Kay Latourneau controversy (partly due to age and also people outside of the U.S). So, to be clear, this was a HUGE story over here in the late 90s, and everyone was absolutely disgusted by it. I saw a critic talk about how this story would be told differently if the sexes were switched, as if the film isn't putting enough emphasis on how awful this woman is, which simply isn't true because that's not even what the film is about. It's about our insatiable need for these stories - to take stories like these, stories that destroyed lives, and turn them into film-of-the-week/tabloid gossip obsessions. It's about voyeurism, artistic integrity, and sensationalism; it's designed to make the viewer uncomfortable. Purposefully filmed like a schlocky Lifetime movie/daytime soap opera, complete with intentional overbearing musical cues and soft lighting - Haynes knows exactly what he's doing and I found it all very effective. I also think it's completely clear that this woman, the one who is supposed to be Latourneau, who raped a 12 year old boy and then married him years later (after going to prison), is a complete psychopath who manipulated and gaslighted a child, even though the story is pretending to be "neutral". I think it's an interesting way to do a biopic - instead of just telling this story, the movie is actually about an actress who is going to portray this woman in a movie-version of her story, so she spends time with her as research for the role. Her "neutrality" as an "observer" is a strong indication of what Haynes is attempting here and I think it's very successful. With clear inspiration from Persona, which I coincidentally just rewatched a week before this for my retrospective series, I just think it's genius to take this story and turn it into *this*. I also think it brilliantly skewers the self-importance of actors (not sure if that is intentional, but maybe). The only real criticism I have of it is that I wish they dropped the lisp that Latourneau had (past tense because apparently she died a few years ago? I don't remember hearing anything about that). Moore struggles with it, and it becomes a big distraction, for me. Otherwise, this movie is pretty stunning. 

2. Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny - This is truly disastrous. I can't say that I'm the biggest fan of the Indiana Jones movies (I KNOW! But, in my defense, I didn't watch them until I was an adult, and I'm not really a fan of Harrison Ford - again I KNOW! Blasphemy. I think he's hilarious as a person, but he plays the same character in every single movie and he's been a grumpy curmudgeon character for like 40 years now. I just find it annoying and grating), but I wasn't expecting it to be this bad. I think it's even worse than the last one, with Shia LaBeouf. And speaking of LaBeouf - I'm kind of shocked that they just *spoiler alert* killed his character??? I couldn't get over it for the whole movie - like, are they for real? They just killed his son off and we're supposed to just move on from that? I just CAN'T DO IT. But, I'll try for the sake of this paragraph. I know a lot of people like Phoebe Waller-Bridge, and I enjoyed Fleabag a lot, but I think it was definitely a product of hyperbole. Everyone claimed it "THE BEST SHOW EVER" and that's simply not true. And I honestly can't remember much about it only a few years later (hot priest might be the only memorable thing about it?). I hate her in this. She's so unlikeable and rude, and not funny in the least bit. Mads Mikkelson is just completely wasted (again! How does this keep happening to such an incredible actor?? Does he not care? I think he clearly takes roles like these for the paychecks, and that's fine because he does a lot of indie films and showcases more passion for those). Boyd Holbrook is also starting to get typecast (you could practically copy and paste this character into the new Justified show. Almost identical, just different timeline). The beginning, with the de-aging stuff, didn't bother me as much as I thought it would. I actually think they do a really good job with it, which I don't say often, but that actually looks like a younger Harrison Ford. It's just that the rest of the film is so...ugly. And that third act is wild. I'm surprised because James Mangold is an excellent director, so I'm not sure what went wrong. Also, they killed Indiana Jones' son! 

3. Ruby Gillman, Teenage Kraken - Quite possibly one of the worst animated films I've ever seen? I don't think I've ever put an animated film on my "Worst of the Year" lists (there's so much work that goes into animated films - I hate to criticize it that harshly), but this is unfortunately just that bad. It's just so unoriginal - basically a mix of The Little Mermaid and Turning Red, with a little more obvious allegorical tale for becoming a woman (I didn't think it could get more obvious than Turning Red!). I also hate the animation style - it's so oversaturated and busy (again, like Turning Red), but I could forgive that if the story were interesting or even entertaining. But the characters are very cliched, the dialogue is super cheesy and not one joke lands, and the storyline is super predictable (also, don't google the voices while watching it because it spoils the only surprise by giving away a character name). Jane Fonda is the highlight - her pronunciation of "grand-maMA" is everything. I also think Annie from Schitt's Creek is perfect for this role. I don't have much else to say about it, which is probably the most frustrating part. 

4. Leave the World Behind - *some spoilers* I was looking forward to this one, even with the mixed reviews. First, I love Sam Esmail - and even though Mr. Robot completely fell apart towards the end, the first season of that show is one of the best first seasons of any television show...ever. I also loved Homecoming with Julia Roberts. I think he has really interesting ideas, and he has a way of capturing uncertainty and paranoia really well. Second, this cast is fantastic - I never knew I needed Julia Roberts and Ethan Hawke as a married couple, but they work so well together. I've always been a big fan of Julia - I think she's a little under-rated, as far as acting is concerned. I know she's a mega superstar, but she has a way of capturing an audience that is very rare, especially nowadays. I also just think that she's absolutely gorgeous, and not in a fake botoxed way - like, she's just so naturally beautiful. I would be shocked if she had any surgery or anything (even though I know that her skincare routine probably costs more than my mortgage). My favorite scenes are the ones in which she goes toe-to-toe with Myha'la Herrold. The tension that is built between them is impeccable. I do think that the racism undertones are a little too overt - I think it would have been better if it was more subtle. And it's a little annoying that this woman from Manhattan doesn't believe that these people own the house they are staying in because they are black, as if wealthy black people don't exist in Manhattan?? It's just stupid. It would make more sense if she were from the middle of the country somewhere or even like further up northeast (Connecticut, New Hampshire, Vermont are some of the whitest states in the country). Don't get me wrong, I believe that a majority of middle-aged, wealthy, white women from Manhattan are probably racist, but she wouldn't be shocked by wealthy black people is all I'm saying. Anyway, I think her character is still very believable because she literally felt like my mom. My mom does not trust a single thing that anyone says and she's super paranoid that everyone is scamming her somehow (she's also a middle-aged, wealthy, white woman who is racist). As for the rest of the film, it feels like someone took other recent films like White Noise and Knock at the Cabin and jumbled them together to produce this. Overall, it's kind of mediocre, but there are some fun (and funny) scenes that I enjoyed - like Julia and Mahershala dancing to Next's "Too Close". I was literally dying watching it - the song is literally about having a boner. And there's Julia Roberts doing her best white girl dance to it. It's just so funny. And definitely something I would do if I thought that the world might be ending (just throw some music on and dance until I die). I also think the Tesla scene is super funny. But, obviously, my favorite part is the teenage daughter just trying to watch Friends. There's a lot of reasons these scenes are important for the story, but it's also just really hilarious and relatable. Friends is obviously a comfort show for a lot of people, including myself (I can't bring myself to watch it now because of Matthew Perry's death. I turn it on, but my eyes start to water. I've never been sadder by a celebrity death. This is the worst one for me), so it's easy to relate to this girl wanting to pretend like everything's fine by watching her new favorite tv show. But I think it's smart commentary on media consumption - how the world could literally be on fire and we would just be concerned with our Wi-Fi. But, it also is strangely "pro-media" because ultimately distractions from the "real" world keep us sane. And the end is clear pro-physical-media (I won't spoil it, but it's hilarious). But it's a perfect ending, and probably my favorite ending of any movie this year. 

5. Family Switch - I wasn't expecting much from this but it's slightly worse than I was hoping for. It's kind of cute, I guess, but also just really dumb, forgettable, with very few laugh out loud moments. I've said it before, but I don't understand Jennifer Garner's career, but whatever makes her happy, I guess. But, to do another body-swap comedy is certainly a choice. I appreciate that they make references to body-swapping comedies of the past ("no kid ever woke up Big" and "I'm 13 Going on 30"), but the film doesn't do enough to justify its existence. Like, 13 Going on 30 is a genuinely good, funny, sweet movie. This is just...there. I laughed a total of ONE time ("it's not magic, it's performative liberalism"). But the rest is kind of dumb - like when the entire teenage party is dancing to "Bust a Move"??? Why would teens of today dance to this? They don't even know the song? It would have made more sense if it was an adult party and the parents (in the teenage bodies) started dancing to it. Or if they just chose a song that actual teens would dance to (like Cardi B or something? Do teens dance to her? I have no idea). Also, what a bunch of spoiled fucking kids, man. I would give my left arm to have had a childhood like that - where my parents made a big deal out of Christmas and gave me literally anything I could possibly ask for. It's insane that these kids are like "my parents are awful and they are ruining our lives". I was also gobsmacked by the end credits "Directed by McG". WHAT???!! I was not expecting that. And, I laughed more at the blooper reel than I did for the entire movie. So that tells you everything you need to know, really.