Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Haunted Mansion - I like a lot of this cast (LaKeith Stanfield, Danny DeVito, Rosario Dawson, Hasan Minhaj, Dan Levy, Jamie Lee Curtis, even Owen Wilson sometimes!), but this movie is God-awful. It's not quite the worst movie of the year for me (so far), but it's pretty damn close (the worst is still Cocaine Bear - nobody can convince me that it's "fun & campy"). It's a weird group of people to put in a movie together (from Oscar nominees & winners, to legends, to...Tiffany Haddish - such an unfunny person that keeps being in stuff). It's a shame they weren't able to promote it because I do think it would have been a more successful family movie if it were promoted by its stars. It also had an unfortunate release date (why not wait for Halloween? Even the streaming release felt early - release this on Halloween weekend...duh). But, I also wish it were better. The story is kind of cute-ish, but it's just very busy and cheesy, instead of campy. The effects are very poorly done, and the "twist" is basically The Sixth Sense. I do love the New Orleans setting, but also I feel like people from there probably get really annoyed by all of the tourists interested in all the "haunted" stuff instead of the actual history. I think I could forgive the movie more if it were geared towards children, but it's SO boring, I would have hated it as a kid. 

2. Bottoms - This is a cute and funny teen comedy, but the hyperbolic praise for it is...really something. It really makes me long for genuine film criticism that isn't necessarily serious (because a lot of film critics are elitist assholes), but also not out here giving movies like this 5 stars on Letterboxd. I know that a lot of people, including critics, admit that they don't take the stars seriously (one that I regularly read rates every single movie 5 stars), but putting this movie in the same rating category as, like, Vertigo, is just insane to me (I'm not exaggerating - Bottoms has over 100k 5 star ratings. I just wish there was something in-between being elitist and being completely chaotic with ratings). Anyway, I did enjoy this a lot (I rated it 3 stars - which means "good" because I'm not a psychopath) and I laughed a lot. There are a lot of seemingly throwaway lines that are so bitingly funny - my favorite is "this is the second wave all over again" (referencing second-wave feminism. It's very funny, if you're well-versed in the history of feminism). But I also laughed out loud to "nice try, but my vagina belongs to the government", and "you don't care about feminism, you're favorite show is Entourage". Rachel Sennott and Ayo Edebiri have great comedic chemistry together, and I think it's super cool that Sennott co-wrote this as well. I also really want to root for Kaia Gerber (she was terrible in the AHS spin-off, but I see potential. And I've always been a big Cindy Crawford fan - one of the best supermodels ever). AND one of my favorite newcomers, Havana Rose Liu! I was hoping to see her in something bigger after her excellent performance in No Exit. I was having a lot of fun with this, but it definitely starts to fall apart about 1/2 way through, which is why it's NOT a 5 star movie (I will never get over this!). Also, I always get really annoyed at how American high schools are portrayed in the media - like why are that many people at a pep rally? Nobody cared about pep rallies in my high school. In fact, it was kind of uncool to care about school or participate in any of that stuff. But then I was talking to my husband, who went to a more typical suburban high school, about it, and he said that at his school they were required (!!) to attend. Like, they gave everyone off from whatever class you had during the rally but you had to go to the pep rally instead (!!). It's so crazy how different we grew up considering we both are from right outside of NYC (just opposite directions), but my school had about 4000 kids and his only had 1100. Anyway, I guess it is something that happens in American schools, but it certainly isn't happening at every school. 

3. Reptile - This is a very average movie - but somewhat interesting. I think there is a good movie in here - like a solid 90s thriller, but a few mistakes were made - it's far too long (there are SO MANY unnecessary scenes!), it feels like it's trying too hard to lean into a gritty, noir instead of leaning into a trashy thriller, and it's extremely obvious as to who "did it" - I knew it as soon as we see the woman's dead body (which is kind of spoilery since we aren't introduced to the other two suspects until after she dies. Ooops). Also, I have no idea why it's called Reptile? No reference to reptiles at all in the entire movie (at least that are noticeable) - just on the poster with the tagline "Shed The Lies"....Uhhhhh? Okay, I guess. But, it has a great cast - Benicio Del Toro, Alicia Silverstone, Frances Fisher, an extremely under-utilized Michael Pitt, Ato Essendoh, and a stand-out performance from Karl Glusman (I feel like he usually picks better movies that this though - Neon Demon, Watcher, Nocturnal Animals - he has an excellent filmography so far). And, of course, Justin Timberlake. I've said it before, but to repeat myself - Timberlake is an incredible performer. He's just not the greatest actor. I think he gets miscast in a lot, so it enhances his lack of acting skills, but also I think his own personality shines through every role he's done. Also, while we're on the subject of Justin (someone that I was obsessed with during the Justin/Britney days - and I also worked as an intern at their record label, and have heard a LOT of gossip from both of their perspectives), I am so frustrated by Britney's "tell-all" book. First, I would never, ever, ever do that to an ex-partner - especially if that person were only 20 years old at the time of our relationship. Like, OF COURSE, they both made a lot of mistakes - it was an insane time for both of them and they were practically kids, thrown into the world of celebrity almost instantly. I think it's such a shitty thing for her to do, especially considering how she's been treated her whole life. And I think it's weird that nobody is criticizing her for it - instead he's cast as a villain. I sincerely hope he does the bigger thing and just keeps his mouth shut. At this point, I think it would be useless for him to defend himself. The internet had made up their mind already. Annnyyyway...like I said, it's an average movie, at best, but there's some interesting things within it. 

4. No Hard Feelings - I liked this - it's probably not something that will stay with me. There are no memorable lines that I'll be quoting decades from now, but I was entertained and I laughed a few times. The funniest part was a throw away line about her adopting a dog - when she's asked why she wants to adopt a dog, she responds "because I can't have a dog of my own" (I snorted laughing. It's a very clever line that doesn't get the same landing that some of the unfunnier jokes get). I'm glad that the scene from the teaser trailer is shown right up front, because I was very nervous that this was going to be a disaster from that clip - I only watched it because everyone on twitter seemed to think it was hilarious, but I thought it seemed desperate and cringe. However, it is mostly a sweet and funny movie. Jennifer Lawrence is good when she wants to be, and she has a very natural sense of humor. I appreciate the lengths she's willing to go to for a laugh. And her fighting a group of teenagers on the beach...naked...is definitely funny (but it also felt like CGI, so I didn't actually think it was her until I read afterwards that it was). I also laughed very hard when they call her "ma'am" and act like she's ancient even though she's like 30. Her reactions and timing are on point, and this is by far one of her better performances (I also thought she was great in mother!, and The Hunger Games movies. I don't think I've loved another performance from her - even the ones that she's been nominated for Oscars for. I think she's miscast in the O. Russell films). I do think the movie is also a little...sad? Like how stunted young people have become, especially post-Covid, combined with a massive increase in social media usage. I was talking to this man the other day about how he has 17 year old twin daughters, and they don't date. He said none of their friends do either. Guys don't ask them out or even really talk to them, and how when he watches them in group situations they all just ignore each other and look at their phones. It's like nobody knows how to communicate anymore, and it's only going to get worse. I think this movie touches on that social anxiety a bit, and how child-like a 19 year old is. I was a full-blown adult at 19 - lived on my own, had multiple relationships by then, etc. I'm just getting more and more scared for the future generations every minute. 

5. Fair Play - I'm actually in a little bit of shock at how much I liked this movie. I certainly didn't expect to, for multiple reasons. First, I think Phoebe Dynevor was the second worst thing about Bridgerton (the first was Rege-Jean Page), and I assumed that she was a terrible actress. Second, it's a Netflix movie and most of those have ranged from terrible to mediocre. Third, the beginning is really awful. I couldn't even look at the screen - just about the worst engagement scene I've ever seen. However, as the film continued, there is something really interesting explored within the power dynamics of this relationship and the pacing of the story is fan-fucking-tastic. It's been a long time since I've said that about any movie - so many are drawn out, or too dull, or don't know how to build tension. But this hooked me and I couldn't look away. Dynevor is incredible, which shocked me, but also I LOVE when someone surprises me. I think maybe her performance in Bridgerton is a product of bad casting. However, Alden Ehrenreich steals the movie - I sort of hate that a film with this subject matter (a woman superseding her male co-worker, who also happens to be her fiance, in the work place), that is directed by a woman, has a male performance as the highlight, but I have to be honest. He is stunning in this film (and will likely be ignored for any awards) - he somehow created a character who is a TOTAL asshole that I still felt sympathy for because I could see his emotions bubbling behind his eyes and his struggle to contain it and remain "cool". And his performance gets even better once he does break - when he goes full psychopath and starts fucking barking. It's glorious. It's such a good story of a man being emasculated, his over-reaction to it, his manipulation, the way he undercuts her but in a seemingly supportive way, and ultimately the way he's convinced himself that sexual favors were exchanged - as if that's the only explanation for her succeeding. It's just so good. And I think very realistic, unfortunately. I think it's a big mistake to work with your partner because there's always going to be a bit of competitiveness that will strain the relationship (my husband and I have talked about me working for him - he owns two stores, and I have over 20 years of experience in retail management. It would be logical and also, financially smarter for him to pay me as a manager - having that money go into our own pockets instead of a stranger. BUT, I tell him flat-out that I would run circles around him in a work environment and it would bother him. He claims it wouldn't, but I think it's just a product of our environment for men to feel emasculated if women are better than them at certain things. And business is one of those things). The way this film handles this tension, how it shifts the power dynamics back and forth, how it plays with reality - it's going to stick with me for a while.