1. The Boogeyman - I don't usually do the whole horror movies in October thing that every other film buff seems to do (I watch all genres all year long), but I got a small stomach bug the day before Halloween and was unexpectedly stuck at home for two days so I decided to make it a spooky marathon with 5 new horror releases from this year. I had heard some mixed reviews on this one, mostly negative from film people I trust, but I didn't mind it. It's too well-acted and well-filmed to give it less than 2.5 stars, in my opinion. The story could have been stronger, and the jump scares were hardly scary, and it all felt very average. But, average does not equal bad. It just could have been better and less cliched, I think. I know that this is based on a Stephen King short story, but I think there have been other
Boogeyman movies made, right? I've never seen any of them, but I always thought that "Lester Billings"
was "The Boogeyman", but that's not the case in this (although I guess you can interpret it that he is, but I feel like the film is inching the other way). I also picture "The Boogeyman" as more of a man, not an actual monster. It's also weird that they don't just....turn the lights on? Like the woman has her hallway lined with candles in order for it to never be dark, but lightbulbs are far easier??? On a side note - that moon ball light is pretty nifty huh? I would have loved to have that as a kid (I kind of want one now!). Anyway, as I said, the acting is strong and keeps the film from completely falling apart - the girl from
Yellowjackets is an incredible young actress. And the girl who plays Princess Leia in
Obi-Wan is also very good (I think she's good on
Obi-Wan too because she's
supposed to be annoying). Chris Messina as the sexy, depressed dad is perfect casting. And Marin Ireland! She's great and should definitely be in more stuff.
2. Cobweb - *spoilers ahead* This is probably my favorite of the bunch (although
Totally Killer is a bit more fun). I think it just does a really good job at creating a creepy atmosphere without feeling like every other horror movie. There are some genuinely intense scenes (like when the teacher visits and the father holds the hammer - my whole body was in a cringe position). It's clear that things aren't as the little boy thinks, and that his parents
are protecting him, but they are also complete psychopaths, so killing them was the right thing to do anyway. And casting Lizzy Caplan and Anthony Starr as the psychopaths is a wonderful move, because they are both excellent here. The little boy (from
C'mon, C'mon) is a terrific little actor and I think the whole movie hinges on his performance as this sweet, innocent boy who is just trying to do the right thing. The reveal scene is executed really well, and still a little surprising, even if you've figure it out. There's a bit of a
Barbarian meets
Malignant (both recent horror movies that I liked). It also goes full horror slasher for a whole scene towards the end, so if that's more your thing, you'll still have a lot of fun (I tend to like a bit more of the slasher horror, sometimes creepy atmosphere just isn't enough for me).
3. Totally Killer - This is a really fun movie. I think some of the praise is a little much (it's fun, but still a 3 star movie. I saw someone say it's a 10/10 movie. I mean, c'mon!!). I'm not sure if I've ever told my Kiernan Shipka story? Well, I was a stand-in for her on a movie she was in right before she got the
Mad Men gig (yes, I am tiny enough to be a stand-in for a then 8 year old girl when I was 26ish LOL). She was a very sweet girl, especially in comparison to the other child actor starring in the movie who was a total little asshole (and I've never seen him in anything after that...I don't think?). I'm rooting for her, and I hope she stayed just as sweet (I can't believe she's in her 20s now. Nothing makes me feel older). Anyway, as I said, this is fun. I think it overdoes the whole "wow the 80s were so
not woke" thing to a point where it becomes a little annoying. I also think it's SO DUMB that she goes to school right after her mom is brutally murdered (which is a very typical horror movie trope that I wish they would stop doing. It's just dumb). I do like that it embraces the whole
Back to the Future element, and runs with it. It's like a mix of
Back to the Future,
Happy Death Day, and
Freaky all mixed together. Some of the 80s jokes worked really well, though, it just felt a little unbalanced with shoving too many of them in. I appreciated the dodgeball scene with her being like what the fuck is this shit and getting hit by that hard ass dodgeball (that ball hurt! people used to get hurt in gym class!). And they kept talking about the ride "the quantum drop", which I had no idea what they were talking about until I saw it and it brought back a flood of fair memories (we called that ride The Gravitron). Also, when she gives the cop the "DNA" evidence and he looks at her like "what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" and throws it on the floor. I laughed. Kiernan is great - super cute and has great comedic timing. I do hope to see Liana Liberato in a starring role, soon, though? I thought with
Scream VI she would land something big, but she's still a sidekick character in this (and not even the main sidekick!).
4. Five Nights at Freddy's - This is one of those films that I can confidently say was not made for me, and I feel bad giving it a bad review for this reason. I will say, it's not terrible, definitely not as terrible as some of the reviews have claimed. I don't even think it will make my 10 worst movies of the year (It is at 8 right now, but everything changes in Nov/Dec). It's just clearly a kids movie - and as some are referring it as "a gateway horror", there's enough kills and gore for it to be "horror", but it's still made for teens. And, gamers, I think? (I think I saw that it's based off of a game? I have no idea. Sorry, I'm old). It's also SO WEIRD that the same movie released with Nicolas Cage just a few years ago (
Willy's Wonderland), but for adults (the creators of
FNaF should definitely have sued, in my opinion). I just think it takes itself a little too seriously, and as a teen I would have still enjoyed something like
Totally Killer over this. Plus, it's not like "gateway horror" is a new concept (
Goosebumps,
Are You Afraid of the Dark, etc.). I do like Josh Hutcherson a lot, and I think he does a good job leading this. I also like Becks from
You! I don't think I've seen her in anything else before, but she's adorable. ALSO, horror icon, Matthew Lillard is great casting (and obvious that
he is a bigger part of the story because he's horror icon Matthew Lillard, but I think that probably goes over the intended audience's heads). Also, on a major aside, and a major gripe I have with Hollywood, is that I looked up the little girl's age because I don't understand why an 8(?) year old girl would have a haircut like
Amelie, and guess what? Her age has been scrubbed from the internet. AN 8(?) year old girl is already being told not to divulge her age. One of the film websites has it listed as her "playing age range is from 8 to 14". So fucking stupid.
5. A Haunting in Venice - What a fucking snoozefest. I could have fallen asleep had I not watched it while waiting for trick-or-treaters. And such a weird cast of people who
don't click at all. Tina Fey is so miscast in this, it's almost hard to watch. And then Jamie Dornan (who isn't always the best actor, he is certainly
not a chameleon. He's only good in very specific roles), who is reunited with the little boy from
Belfast - who is inexplicably dressed like Eggsy from the
Kingsman movies. Plus, Kelly Reilly (who is
far too good for this movie) and two of my favorite up-and-coming actors - Kyle Allen & Emma Laird who both have very little to do. Combined with Kenneth Branagh's overacting, it just doesn't work. I think it's weird that this one seems to be favored over Branagh's previous Agatha Christie adaptations,
Murder on the Orient Express and
Death on the Nile, while I think the exact opposite. With
Orient Express, I already knew the story so I focused a lot of production (and it is a BEAUTIFUL movie), and with
Nile, I wasn't as familiar, but even though it was obvious, it was still fun to see how the mystery unfolded. I couldn't care less about the outcome here. I guess, I'm not usually a fan of gothic horror mysteries, and this is more in line with that genre, I think. It's just plain boring. And I wasn't wowed by any of the production - it's very flat and felt like any person with a camera could have done the same thing.
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