Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Cocaine Bear - I'm actually surprised that I didn't like this. I know it looked ridiculous and silly, but I thought I would find it fun and entertaining. But it's....actively a terrible movie. I think it's super cool that Elizabeth Banks is directing films, but...uhhhhh...she's not very good at it, is she? I have nothing good to say about this - it's poorly acted even though most of the cast are established good actors (when this happens, I immediately blame the director), the editing is so jarring, the CGI bear is absolutely ridiculous looking, and the tone is all over the place. I think, as far as the acting goes, there was no clear direction of what kind of movie this was supposed to be. Is it a trashy comedy? Is it a suspenseful horror? A gangster thriller? Every actor is doing a different genre, truly. And I don't know who the actor is who plays the character called "kid", but he is not a teenager (that guy is at least 35 years old). I just rooted for them all to die - even the kids. I appreciate that some of the kills are way over-the-top, and very funny, but the rest of the movie is too awful to really enjoy any of it. This just has to end up on my Worst of 2023 list. It just has to. Also, it's weird that the poster is a direct copy of Sin City, right? What was the point of that? 

2. Ghosted - What the fuck happened here? Like, for real, I'm being serious...how do you fuck up a film this badly? There has to be a bigger story here - there were rumors that the two stars, Chris Evans & Ana de Armas, were not on set together for most of the shoot, but that's simply not true because I saw a whole behind the scenes/blooper video on some Ana de Armas fan account and they clearly filmed together (and looked like they were having a ton of fun!). And then there's that interview that circulated with Dexter Fletcher talking about the differences in making a film specifically for streaming compared to theaters, essentially trying to make an excuse as to why it's SO BAD, but there have been plenty of films made for streaming that are not even close to being THIS bad. I think I'm most disappointed in Dexter, because Chris Evans has made plenty of bad movies (and he'll continue to because he's not a good actor. He was fine as Captain America, but now that it's over, I think people will start to realize that he can't do much else. Still hot, though.) and Armas saves what little there is to save here. But Fletcher's last movie was Rocketman - aka my favorite movie of the last decade. There seems to be a general consensus that Taron was a huge Oscar snub for his performance, but I think Fletcher directed the Hell out of it (and the costumes should have probably won...). I just don't understand how you go from something that creative, bold and fun....to this? Just the blandest action romance I've ever witnessed. So, here's everything that went wrong: First, Evans is completely miscast - he can certainly do the whole all-American farm boy thing very well, but uh...he looks like THAT, so I hardly believe he has a hard time getting any girl - even someone as hot as Armas. They do have a solid chemistry (it's weird that this is the 3rd movie they've done together in just 4 years time), but they show this chemistry by...bickering. Bickering is not flirting. Bickering is bickering and it's annoying as fuck; not cute. And he gets so mad at her for no reason??? He's upset that she might kill a plant, but why didn't he offer her a succulent or cacti in a nice way instead of being an asshole? Second, why the wig? I don't understand? Ana has beautiful hair. Was she filming something else that she had to keep a certain hairstyle for that they didn't like? We need an explanation. Third, TATE DONOVAN is playing Chris Evans' DAD??? Tate Donovan, who previously dated hot women like Sandra Bullock and Jennifer Aniston, is now playing a dad to a mid-30 year old? How/when did this happen? I do not accept it. Fourth, why is Burn Gorman playing a taxi driver with a horrendously fake British accent for like 3 minutes of the movie??? I thought this was going to be addressed later in the plot, but no? So fucking weird. Fourth, I can't believe the plot is that he literally stalks her? Who approved that? Those tracker things are fucking terrifying for women, and this shows everyone exactly why. And last, those Marvel cameos are so awful - it all felt so forced because I think at this point they realized they had a bad movie and they needed to spice things up. BUT, as I said, Armas is the saving grace - not the best acting (not her fault - the dialogue felt so unnatural), but she's great in these roles where she kicks ass. There aren't many women who I find believable in these type of roles (Charlize Theron, yes. Angelina Jolie, yes. Jessica Chastain, nope.), but she's great - and you know she's gonna show up in a sexy dress and fight (and this doesn't disappoint). 

3. Till - Well, this is definitely better than the previous two movies above, but I was still a little disappointed with this. It's just very average. It's one of those stories that I think would be hard to make a bad movie out of. The story is already there - heartbreaking, powerful, and infuriating; it's automatically going to invoke emotion from an audience, but there is just nothing, cinematically speaking, that makes it special. Nothing that elevates it from being just a powerful story. It's just a very straight-forward linear story, which is always disinteresting to me. However, it's important to keep telling these stories within the film/television medium because, somehow, there are people who don't learn about these stories in school (my mom had not heard about Emmett Till and I was stunned to learn this. We saw the trailer for it in the theater and she literally gasped when he dies and was like "oh that's so awful". Like, for real mom? Are you being serious right now - you didn't know what was going to happen to him as soon as they said his name was Emmett Till????). Daniel Deadwyler gives a fantastic performance, but the Best Actress category was so strong this past year - I can see why she was snubbed. She absolutely deserved to be in the conversation, but I don't think she would have made my choice for the category either. It's not a bad movie, solid 3 stars, but it also just did nothing for me. It did cause me to go into a deep google search about the woman who accused him of making sexual advances; I was very curious to find out what happened to her (seems like nothing, but I hope she lived with that guilt every single second of every single day) - even weirder that she died like 10 days after I watched this. 

4. Jerry & Marge Go Large - This is a cute little indie drama. It reminds me of that movie about the extreme coupon lady with Kristen Bell, but sweeter. The story is based on a true tale about a man who found a flaw in the lottery system, enabling him to win millions of dollars - but the "sweet" part is that he gets his whole small town community involved in the winnings and they use the money to help revive businesses and fix up the surroundings. I like that he's not this greedy asshole who just like buys himself a mansion and other unnecessary things. I also like the cast - Bryan Cranston, Annette Benning, Jake McDorman and Rainn Wilson, can't go wrong! And there are a few genuinely funny moments too ("Look at you! It's like Up!" made me laugh HARD). I do think it's a little sad that this couple seem so miserable in the beginning - it's kind of hard to root for them to stay together. I know they've been together for an eternity so the "steam" is expectedly lost, but the fact that they don't just enjoy each other's company and they don't have anything to talk about is just really depressing. It does start to get more hopeful once they start spending time together and the excitement of winning seems to reboot things - and they realize that the enjoyment comes from doing something together and not necessarily the winning part. 

5. Scream VI - I love the Scream franchise. The first Scream is probably in my Top 50 favorite movies of all-time. I think my age is a big part of that (it came out in theaters when I was 15 years old and became a big part of my teenage years). Even the 2nd and 3rd film were big "event" theater experiences. The only one that I didn't like is the 4th one. I would definitely need to do a re-watch (maybe this year?), but I think my ranking would be:

Scream

Scream 2

Scream VI

Scream (2022)

Scream 3

Scream (TV series)

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Scre4m

I like that this one acknowledges the "franchise" aspect - and continues to tell its story with that concept in mind. However, I think this is the first time that I guessed who Ghostface was within the first 20 minutes (more on this in a minute). It didn't really effect my enjoyment of it, but it still felt a little weird not being surprised or having my guess be second-guessed (does that make sense? I mean, I kinda knew who it was in the last one too, but I feel like they did a good job throwing the audience off the scent so we weren't fully sure until the reveal. Where as this one is very obvious - and the scenes trying to throw you off are even more obvious). Anyway, I love Jenna Ortega and Melissa Barrera (it's weird that I saw a few reviews that cite Barrera as the weak link, acting-wise, and I whole-heartedly disagree. I think she's a terrific actress). And I always welcome an appearance by Miss Gale Weathers. But I truly screamed out-loud when I realized who the first kill was. HOW PERFECT! The rest of the cast is...ok - I think I was expecting some bigger names to appear in order to make up for the absence of Sidney (and also, I do think Neve Campbell had every right to ask for more money, but unfortunately for her, the franchise is bigger than her - it's going to be successful with or without her, so her withdrawal from the series is a little pointless - it's not like she's a big movie star fielding tons of other offers? I feel like she came out on the losing side of this one). I do also really like Liana Liberto (I don't think I've seen her in anything since Trust, but I LOVED her in that). I'm not the biggest fan of Hayden Panattiere and I've sort of blocked out Scre4m, so I couldn't remember a single thing about her character. The biggest success, though, is moving the story to NYC. It sets up for some seriously amazing scenes (the bodega scene from the trailer is fucking stellar, as is the subway scene). So onto the Ghostface reveal - *SPOILERS OBVIOUSLY* - I instantly *knew* that Liana's character was the killer for 2 reasons: As soon as she said that her brother died I connected who her brother was. And considering that this is the 3rd film of the "rebooted" series, it's going to follow in the original trilogies 3rd film which had family members of a previous Ghostface as the new Ghostface. So, it's very obvious that it's her and her dad - even after she "dies" because you don't really see her dead, and then her dad is the one at the scene so he could easily cover it up. I guess the reveal of the 3rd Ghostface was a little bit of a surprise, but he felt like a last minute add-on to keep something surprising. Like I said, it was a weird feeling to guess it so quickly and to have my guess never waiver, but I still really liked this - it's fun, has really strong kill scenes, likeable characters, etc.