Thoughts on 5 Films

1. West Side Story (2021) - Usually if a film is as well-made as this one, and isn't terribly offensive in any way, I would rate it a solid 3 stars (even if I didn't necessarily like it - The French Dispatch is a perfect recent example). But there are just too many unlikeable factors in this remake that I (hesitantly) rate it 2 1/2 (which is comparatively very low - so many 5 star reviews! It's going to cause me to have a stroke one day, I think). First and foremost, even if you completely ignore the accusations against Ansel Egort, he is so obviously miscast here. It's actually stunning just how awful he is. And I say that as someone who has been a fan of his in past projects (I thought he was adorable in The Fault in Our Stars and LOVED him in Baby Driver). But, who thought he could do this role? He can't sing! And he's not someone that I would describe as instantly likeable, which is kind of essential to this role. The controversy happened as filming was wrapping up, so I understand that there was just no way to recast him, but at some point in the beginning did nobody else notice that it wasn't working? There is just absolutely zero chemistry between him and Rachel Zegler - in fact, she seems pretty much repulsed by him. It's the least invested I've ever been in a love story in my entire life. And speaking of Zegler, I remember when she was cast in this - and it was a big deal around here, because a normal 17 year old girl from Hackensack, NJ was cast in a Steven Spielberg production of West Side Story! That's so cool! I was rooting for her, and she's not...terrible, exactly, but she certainly lacks the charisma needed for such a big project like this. She felt lost by her surroundings for almost the entire movie. As for the much lauded performances by Ariana DeBose and Mike Faist, they are...fine? DeBose is probably the only one in the entire cast who can sing. But an OSCAR? She'll likely win it, considering she's won all of the precursory awards, but I'm at a loss for words. Faist has some presence (comparatively), but his voice is way too high-pitched for me (and the horrendous accent is hard to listen to). He's also probably the least threatening grown man I've ever seen in my whole life. I can appreciate that they at least cast a little more appropriately than the 61 version, but also still didn't cast a Puerto Rican in the role of Maria, so it's still a little problematic. Anyway, aside from the casting, it really does just seem pointless. You know how people always identify older movies and add "you can't make that movie today" because of its outdated racism/sexism/etc.? Well, this is one of them. And they do very little to update it or modernize it (bare minimum). I say that as someone who likes the original. It's a musical version of Romeo & Juliet, with stunning songs, amazing choreography - what's not to like? But instead of making it relatable to a younger generation, they slightly update it by giving more depth to "The Sharks". They also use Spanish dialogue (without subtitles), which is probably the only thing that felt authentic about the whole movie. But overall, no matter how well-made a movie is, if it's poorly acted by 1/2 of the cast, has zero chemistry in the romance that is the catalyst for the plot, and feels pointless, then I have to question what the fuck we are doing here? And I judge every single person who rated this 5 stars on letterboxd. 

2. Drive My Car - This is another example of a movie that is well-made that I didn't like (still better than West Side Story, though). Three hours is unnecessarily long for this story (especially after watching a 2.5 hour movie directly before it). Slow burn doesn't even begin to cover it. The credits don't appear until 40 minutes in, and as much as I love the rebelliousness of it, I also *knew* from that moment that this movie just wasn't going to be for me. Those 40 minutes could have easily been condensed to about 15 minutes. It's a very character driven story, which isn't a bad thing, but unfortunately, the characters aren't all that interesting. It's also a man dealing with loss (of his wife), and I guess we are supposed to see this as "complicated" because we (the audience, along with this man) know that she was cheating on him but....sorry to be a cold hearted bitch, but WHO CARES? She cheated, but he doesn't seem to be that upset by it or even surprised by it, and it doesn't mean that she's a bad person or that he wasn't in love with her (and I don't need a THREE HOUR LONG movie to tell me that). Then the story focuses on this play that he directs - a multi-language interpretation of Uncle Vanya. I've read pretty much every Chekhov play (Drama Studies major - I took an entire class just on Chekhov), but out of his major 4 works, Uncle Vanya is my least favorite one (Three Sisters = The Cherry Orchard > The Seagull >>>> Uncle Vanya). I do like the idea of doing a singular project in multiple languages, though - it feels like a celebration of diversity and language instead of forced representation. Oddly, the part of the story that I just couldn't get into is his interactions with the woman who "drives his car", which is very likely due to the length of the film. I was just so bored before any of the seemingly important stuff happens. If an hour (literally an entire hour) was cut from this movie, I would probably really like it - but as it stands, I'm just indifferent about it. 

3. Fresh - *some spoilers* I was super intrigued about this movie, more so for Daisy Edgar-Jones than...wait for it...SEBASTIAN STAN (I was forced to learn his name!!! FORCED because he is in fucking everything right now, and he certainly isn't a good enough actor to warrant all of these roles. Also, I've seen the name a ton of times, but I didn't realize that his last name was "Stan" because I thought people were just saying they were a "Sebastian stan", as in the word the internet uses when they are an obsessive fan of someone). I've only seen Daisy in Normal People, but I LOVED her performance. She kind of reminds me of Anne Hathaway (which could be a good or bad thing depending on the project). It's weird that this was the second movie in a row that the credits didn't appear until well into a large chunk of the movie (this one I think was at 33 minutes in. It worked much better for me here than it did in Drive My Car). So, first I will say that I definitely like this movie - it's well-acted (minus a bland SebStan (that's his nickname!), has some cool shots, and is just a fun, suspenseful thriller. But the thing I like most about it is that it made me reminisce about several bad dating experiences. It captures a viewpoint that is often seen as "extreme", but totally relatable. Because, guess what? When women go on dates, we have to worry about GETTING MURDERED. Isn't that fucking crazy? Totally true, though. So....prepare for my fun tangents ahead: Ooooooh let's talk about dating, shall we? First, I think it's odd that this "dating is hard" concept is sort of seen as a peril of modern dating, which I find SO MUCH better than dating when I was in my 20s. Modern dating is pretty much dating through apps. I was very hesitant about this at first, but I have to admit - it works! I guess you have to have a good sense of when to move forward and when something is a "red flag", and I usually have a good sense of that now. It's easier to weed out the weirdos if you can spend time talking to them through social media and I kind of feel like if you are still running into weirdos, that's on you? I do find that A LOT of people invite drama and disappointment into their lives, when I just shut it down very quickly. I had mostly good luck with online dating (and that's how my boyfriend and I met - and we are going to hit 6 years together this June). But I do say NOW when I talk about luck with dating, because I definitely did not have it in my 20s (and the female character is supposed to be mid 20s in this, I'm assuming). Three things (memories from my 20s) popped into my mind watching this: (1) The time I was roofied at a bar. YUP. Luckily, and I mean I thank the fucking heavens above, I happened to be on an antibiotic for my chronic bronchitis at the time and should not have been drinking anyway, and those antibiotics interacted with the drugs put in my drink INSTANTLY. I had to be rushed to the hospital but, most importantly, I was safe (there's obviously a longer story, there, but I'll move on). (2) The time I decided to do a "say yes" to everything. I was in a super depressed funk after a major breakup and didn't really know how to navigate dating. It's, once again, a long story, but to shorten it - I definitely ended up with someone who was married (or, less likely but still scary, a serial killer). I realized it once we were in his (very fancy) NYC apartment and he had to take a private call in another room. I was bored so I grabbed a magazine that was sort of hidden under a pile of papers. I noticed the name on the mailing address line was different than the name he gave me (but the address was where we were). I was instantly alert - like, FUCK he gave me a fake name (I'm old, so google existed, but it wasn't used the way its used now) - what do I do??? I got up and started looking around. For some reason I opened the fridge and there was literally nothing in it. So it was not an apartment that was "lived in". I grabbed my shit and left - and as I left I asked the concierge at the front desk of the building, "I should go, right?" and he said "yeah girl, run". Unfortunately, this was after I slept with him (TMI, don't care). (3) The numerous times that I was called a bitch because I was so over men that my "go to" response was "no thank you". I literally didn't even look up at whatever man was hitting on me - just "no thank you" and literally hit instantly with "bitch" or even better "you're not even that hot". Soooooooooo back to the topic of this movie - I find it interesting that she doesn't meet the cannibalistic serial killer through the new "modern" dating, instead he hits on her in a supermarket (which also...RED FUCKING FLAG. I hate when guys try to talk to me at the supermarket. I literally will prop up some sort of men's product on the top of my cart - like axe spray or deli meat to prevent men from talking to me. I always assume that any guy talking to me at a supermarket is a serial killer. Is this not engrained in other female brains? It should be. Maybe this movie will change things?). It's also weird that it's not seen as a red flag that he hit on her in a supermarket (talking about cotton candy grapes - as if that's not something that women already know about? That there are grapes that taste like cotton candy? Where do you people live? This is a well-known grape), but it is a red flag that he doesn't have an Instagram. Are we living in backwards land? Anyway, I'm on a roll because I'm not even half-way done with the thoughts in my head, but I will also say that I totally agree with the guy on her first (very awful) date - I mean, he was really rude, but also why the fuck did she dress like she was a teenager going to a sleepover? Why would she wear that on a date? Am I supposed to think he's an asshole because he commented on a very real observation? I wouldn't expect a man to show up in his fucking pajamas on a first date!? AND, probably an even bigger no-no for me to say, as a feminist, but...um...her getting fucking taken by a cannibal serial killer is totally her own fault (just like it was my fault when I was roofied and also my fault for sleeping with a potential serial killer but most likely just a normal married man). There is this whole scene about "it's not your fault!" when it comes to women being raped and murdered, which to an extent is true (obviously), but also women need to take responsibility for their own actions - and *understand* the world we live in. We, unfortunately, live in a world in which YOU CAN NOT just go away with a man that you DO NOT KNOW. It's THAT SIMPLE (now, again, this is a grey area - and does not take into account women, or actually any gender, who may have learning disabilities and/or autism that prevents them from understanding basic human normalcies. And this is why we have to be so vocal about what is safe and not safe for women to do. I'm sorry, I would love to say we live in a "free" world where women are safe to do the same things that men can do, but that's not reality. If we stop pretending, women will be safer. Period.). Like I said in the beginning of this post - when women date, we literally have to take into consideration the likelihood of being raped and/or murdered. It sucks, but it's undeniable (and you know what's even worse? We are actually more likely to be murdered by a partner!). This might be my longest post since Boyhood (God, I hated that movie). Let's see, what else do I have to say? Should I talk about the actual movie? Ok. I liked it, as I said. The end is a little over-the-top and a bit ridiculous, but for a first feature, I think it's really well done. As someone who can't even watch cooking shows (or touch raw meat - I literally have to leave my body when I cook. It's so fucking gross), this was a tough watch. It's a little predictable (I mean, I *knew* she was definitely going to bite his penis at some point, obviously), and I knew the waterfall picture was going to be how the friend figured out she was in trouble. But overall, I had a ton of fun with it. And "Heads Will Roll" is the perfect song for this film, and I love that this song has had a bit of a resurgence lately. 

4. After Yang - YAY! I loved it! I can't imagine this won't be on my Best of 22 list, but it's obviously super early for that. If you've read this blog for a while, then you know my love for Colin Farrell. One of the greatest actors of his generation, and someone who consistently picks challenging roles both in blockbuster films and indies (this and The Batman were released in the same week and they could not be more different). He is *terrific* in this movie, surrounded by an outstanding supporting cast - Jodie Turner-Smith is becoming a fast favorite (she was so good in one of my favorite movies of the last decade, Queen & Slim). Now, I'm not sure why the theme of this post seems to be talking about the opening credits, but this is the third movie in a row, in which it seems like an important moment. These credits are perhaps my favorite I've seen in quite sometime. It perfectly encapsulates a moment that feels futuristic but also entirely relatable, while also capturing the dynamic of this family. It's also just *super fun* to watch. While I admit that it does become a little slow and repetitive (and I dislike the doubled dialogue - very jarring and irritating), there is still just so much to unpack here and analyze well after the film ends. As most futuristic robot stories tend to respond to, the obvious "question" of the film is "what does it mean to be human?", but it also narrows this down to more specific themes of identity - and even more specific, Asian identity, and again even more specific with Asian identity as someone adopted by a non-Asian family. *some spoilers* It's also weirdly about the idea of destiny and soulmates, human concepts adapted by this robot (I got literal chills when the girl appeared in his Alpha memories). Just a really beautiful movie that will stay with me forever. 

5. The Green Knight - I think I was expecting too much with this. It's a good movie, that even has some *excellent* moments, but overall it's not something I would recommend to anyone aside from people who have an appreciation for cinematography and editing. David Lowery has a fascinating filmography, with more credits as an editor, and honestly, you can tell in his movies. He knows which shots to linger on and how to make complicated shots look easy. The opening shot in this alone is something to celebrate - it's just stunning. The music is very haunting, and also very reminiscent of Lowery's Ain't Them Bodies Saints, which is actually the only thing I remember about that movie, and probably all I remember from this one as well (time will tell). It also has a very strong ending (actually, really, really strong ending - the more I think about it the more brilliant it becomes). Dev Patel is...fine in this? I saw a lot of chatter about him being snubbed by the Oscars, but it's certainly not an award worthy performance. And speaking of Oscar, how is Alicia Vikander being so sidelined in films? I didn't even know she was in this movie! In such a small role (albeit a significant one), I just don't understand her career at all. She won an Oscar! It feels like it doesn't mean anything anymore (which I guess could be deemed a good thing if they're giving out Oscars to actors like Rami Malek, the sooner they are forgotten, the better, I guess. But I really like Alicia. She should be on the same level as Jessica Chastain and Emma Stone, and yet she's taking bit parts that are mostly forgettable). Anyway, that's really all I have to say about this. People way oversold it to me, unfortunately.