Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Napoleon - I really didn't like this at all, mostly because I think Joaquin Phoenix is horribly miscast. I actually think this is the worst I've ever seen him, and I KNOW that he's an amazing actor, but this role just doesn't fit him at all. His line delivery during certain scenes are WILD, too ("You think you're so great just because you have boats!" WHAT IN THE WORLD?! Why does he say it like that???). And it will ALWAYS bother me when a story that takes place in France that is about the history of France and they don't even bother to at least do a French accent? I would actually prefer it was just in French and subtitled but I understand why that's not an option (financially), but the fact that every actor has a different accent is so awkward. And Napoleon was, obviously, not French, but Italian - and I think that distinction should have been part of the movie because when he spoke French he was clearly an outsider. Plus, focusing on the love story is a weird choice especially for someone who is responsible for the deaths of, like, 3 million people (at least!). I don't give one tiny fuck that he was in love with a woman who cheated on him regularly. Vanessa Kirby is decent in the role (aside from the haircut in the beginning), but they have zero chemistry together - and this is one of those films in which I question if they even filmed together because the line of sight is off during quite a few of their interactions. It feels a little bit like Ridley Scott was attempting a Sofia Coppola Marie Antoinette style, but it just doesn't work at all. There are some stunning looking shots, though. There's no denying that. The battle scenes are spectacular (the almost colorless one with the really ominous music certainly had my attention). But otherwise, it's an absolute chore to sit through. 

2. The Pod Generation - This is basically an episode of Black Mirror. And not one of the good ones. I've said my piece on Emilia Clarke (I don't think she's a good actress at all, but she seems like a lovely person and didn't she have a brain aneurysm or something? Poor woman!). But I love Chiwetel Ejiofor! Unfortunately, he's very bland in this and they have terrible chemistry. It's a big mistake putting this in the "comedy/romance" genre that its given, because it screams "sci-fi/drama". There's nothing funny about it, and the romance is non-existent. I will never understand stories in which couples argue about whether to have kids after they've been together for years and are married. It's just not very believable (at least I hope), because it's quite literally the biggest decision you'll have to make as a couple and if you don't agree, then you're not compatible. Period. It's not something that can be negotiated or compromised. They just don't seem like they belong together at all and she has no respect for his interests or work (he's a botanist, which is a SUPER cool profession - if I have one regret in life it's that I didn't get into plants and nature earlier in life. I always found it so intimidating because I didn't grow up around plants or gardens and we never spent any time in nature. But now I have a home full of plants, I grow my own veggies and herbs (indoors & outside seasonally), and I even have a lemon tree! Plus, my husband and I go hiking regularly. It has had a significant impact on my health (both mentally & physically). If only I had known all of this in my 20s!). Anyway, as I said, this is definitely not a comedy - I laughed a total of ONE time (when the cat growls at the pod), and I found it amusing when he's first trying to bond with the pod, but that's it. It's a good sci-fi/futuristic story, and if it was told more in this way, instead of trying to be a rom-com, then it might have been good.  

3. BlackBerry - I read some really great things about this movie, but I'm not sure I see the hype? It's good (I rated it 3.5 stars - slightly above good), but people were banging on about it being ignored for awards and that makes my brain hurt. Especially, when NOBODY talked about Tetris or Taron Egerton's performance, which is a similar movie (for the record - Egerton gave a better performance than FOUR of the nominated Lead actors and yet, not one peep from anyone. But there was massive hype for Glenn Howerton in a supporting role. He's good! But....Oscar-worthy??? COME ON!). I did like a lot about this, though. First, the nostalgia of it is done really well - using real footage of news clips, Oprah, etc. is a great touch. It brought back a lot of memories (especially the line "we call them crackberries" because I TOTALLY remember that), even though I never had a BlackBerry. They came out around the time I was graduating high school. All this technology was exploding right as I became an adult, which I am very thankful for because I would not want all this tech as a teenager. I remember my mom had a car phone for work purposes and we thought that was super fancy. My first cellphone came a little later (it was 2001 - I was 20) and it was a Nextel phone (the one that did that annoying "boop-boop" sound and you could use them as walkie-talkies - it gives me ptsd even thinking about that fucking noise LOL, but back then I thought it was super cool). Second the dialogue is really smooth and quick, which I enjoy. There's some great lines to ruminate on - in particular, I think the line "men will no longer commute, but communicate" is interesting because that didn't happen. I think technology has had a reverse effect on our ability to communicate. I also like "Well, 'good enough' is the enemy of humanity" because that's sort of true - it's definitely a part of our current culture to just do "enough", but it's so essential for there to be people in the world who go above and beyond to advance humanity. I love dialogue that sticks, and this definitely does. Other than that, I do think it's about 20 minutes too long, causing the ending to feel a little repetitive and a bit of a letdown. It starts to get really intense with the introduction of the iPhone, and it's actually really funny to watch their reaction to it - and how he really convinced himself it was going to fail (has there ever been anyone else in the history of the world this wrong??), but then they just keep going with it a little too long. It's soul-destroying to watch this epic fail, though - him selling out to China is such a big representation of where we are now culturally and technologically. It also does the whole Succession style camera zooms way too many times. It becomes a little grating (I found it grating on Succession too, which will be why I never consider the show a masterpiece that some claim). 

4. Monica - Another movie that I don't see what all the fuss was about. It's a good movie! That's it! I saw SO MANY articles listing Trace Lysette as a snub, but I very much disagree (better than Carey Mulligan in Maestro, though). I think the more interesting aspect of this is that so many cisgender actors are often praised for trans roles (like Eddie Redmayne & Hillary Swank - who WON Oscars for their portrayal of trans characters), and it's hard not to wonder if a cisgender actor played in this movie, would it have received more attention? We will never know the answer, but I think that's what people are responding to with their disappointment at Lysette being ignored. I also think that release date determines, like, 70% of the nominations (and I question if this was even in the release window for the Oscars this year because it played at several film festivals in 2022??? I'm too lazy to look up what the release window dates were, but that could definitely be a factor, too). The story is a little one-note, as well. It's obviously not something I can relate too, but also, I just don't understand the need to have this connection to people who've abandoned you. I don't care if they are "family"; I'm not a hateful person by any means, but I can cut people out of my life so easily. And I just don't understand how others find that hard. If someone treats you like shit, move on. I'd rather be alone than have someone in my life that made me miserable. Anyway, the story here, is that this woman goes to take care of her dying mother, a mother who abandoned her after she came out as trans, and now her mother doesn't recognize her after she has transitioned. It just wouldn't be me. I would never take care of someone who abandoned me! I don't care if they're dying. The story never really goes anywhere - it's very slow, boring, and seems a bit pointless after its initial "she doesn't recognize me" reveal. I didn't really love Lysette's performance - and I really question the accent (it sounds like she's trying to sound Latina at some points??? WHY? It's weird.). I do love Emily Browning though. She should be a much bigger star after Sucker Punch. 

5. Aquaman and the Lost Kingdom - Again, I think there's some big elaborate joke being played on all of us to see just how much worse comic book superhero movies can get. A decent one seems to appear every now and then (Guardians 3), but overall, I think they've just been on a steep downhill decline for the past 8 years (both Marvel & DC). This is truly awful, but I rated it 2 stars because I have to save the 1 star ratings for movies like Morbius and Madame Web (I'm assuming as I haven't seen it yet). Also, I feel like Momoa is having a BLAST in this, and that has to count for something. And I laughed at Patrick Wilson attempting to run for the first time. But other than that, it is pretty painful. It also looks terrible. I appreciate that this is going for the more ridiculous side of superhero stories, but, as the same with the most recent Ant-Man, I felt like I should be high to understand it. I fell asleep for like 10 minutes and woke up to some Transformer looking ape robot thing...WTF?! I also hate that they keep trying to redeem the bad guy. Give him depth, sure (like in Daredevil), but stop making them into heroes!! It's so stupid. And never in my life have I ever heard the phrase "a slice of za"...is that a thing people say? Because the word "pizza" is too difficult? Just kill me.