Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Do Revenge - This is a very fun movie, but it is definitely getting far better reviews than it deserves for what it is. It's a campy teen black comedy in the same vein as Cruel Intentions and I think there is an audience that is desperate for them, so as soon as one comes along that is good, it's inevitable that it's also over-hyped. There's a lot to like about this, though. Camila Mendes and Maya Hawke have great chemistry together. I can recognize the rest of the cast as "the guy from Euphoria", "the girl from 13 Reasons Why" and Sophie Turner (who is actually decent in this! There's a first for everything!). They also give a nice nod to Cruel Intentions with casting Sarah Michelle Gellar as the Headmaster (genius. Whoever made that decision is a genius). I like that the story does what teen comedies from the 90s often did - and that is to adapt a classic, but modernize it so much that the audience might not even realize it (this one is Strangers on a Train). It's also got quite a few lines that made me laugh - and a lot of that had to do more with the timing and delivery of the lines, which is quite a testament to the acting - Camila's line "This is shocking news", really shows her talent. The film definitely embraces its outlandish plot, which boils down to the line "I'm a teenage girl, we're psychopaths!". The issues that I have with the film are very minor. It could have easily been 20 minutes shorter (I can even pinpoint everything that should have been cut because it's very obvious - there are scenes that just drag the story). I don't think it was particularly surprising either. *kind of spoiler but I'll keep it vague* I knew that the original story told was not true. I'm not sure why I knew, but something about it didn't seem right and I instantly thought "she's the unwitting target". My biggest issue with the film, though, and sorry, this may be mean, is that there is no way that guy is the popular guy. He's so...mousy (probably the nicest way I can put it). 

2. Petite Maman - Well the runtime for this was certainly appealing. To me, that's already a sign that I'm about to watch a concise and tight story - no filler. I know everyone is obsessed with Sciamma's previous film, Portrait of a Lady on Fire, but not me. I liked it *shrugs shoulders*. It's beautifully filmed but it's not a film that stuck with me. I loved this, though. The beginning reminds me of the book The Secret Garden, which I remember being a really comforting book as an only child who didn't have a strong parental presence in her life (my mom worked 3 jobs at one point when I was a child, and although she never left me, she was very sick when I was around 10. She was in and out of the hospital because they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her and doctors pretty much told her that the pain she was experiencing in her abdomen was "in her head". It turns out that the scar tissue from her botched C-section had wrapped around her intestines causing her extreme pain. I remember weeks at a time where I didn't see her, or anyone really. And I just took care of myself. Got myself to school, made myself dinner, pretended like that was completely normal for a 10 year old to do.). I connect with this little girl so hard. So lonely and inquisitive, wandering through the woods looking for adventure. The story takes an unexpected turn with this fantasy time-traveling plot, but it works so well within this slice-of-life storytelling and natural acting. It's wonderful. I admit that I was confused by the casting because I thought both girls were played by the same actress and then I looked it up and there were two girls listed. And I thought "WHAT?? How did they find two little girls who looked so identical??" only to realize they have the same last name (and are twins...duh, Michelle. I was a little slow on the uptake with that one. LOL.). 

3. Father Stu - I will always watch a Marky Mark project, even if it looks as terrible as this did. I think he's an interesting person. He's obviously someone who is still seeking redemption for being a violent racist scumbag, but is an example of someone who had an opportunity to turn his life around and he took it. Successful career, family man (I think he has 4 or 5 kids - all with the same woman! Which is rare for Hollywood. They've been together for over 20 years, too, which is also rare), and he donates to the underprivileged community that he grew up in. He also openly supports gay rights, even though he is Catholic. I completely understand why someone would feel differently about him (did he deserve another chance after what he did? Probably not.). Anyway, acting in a project with Mel Gibson, is probably not the right move (sorry, but Gibson has not redeemed himself. He's a racist and an anti-Semite, and seems to double-down on it every chance he gets). The rest of the supporting cast is great, though. Jacki Weaver and Teresa Ruiz (she was in Narcos: Mexico, and she is GORGEOUS). The story, on the other hand, is absolutely terrible. Obviously, I'm not a religious person (at least, I hope that is obvious. I make it pretty clear), so this story just seems ridiculous to me. But the biggest problem with this movie is how he treats this woman (played by Ruiz). First, he quite literally stalks her, even saying the words "I don't take no for an answer". He manipulates her into thinking he's also a religious man (he isn't), seduces her, and then ditches her to become a priest. It's fucked. I question his morals, ethics, everything, but I'm supposed to be inspired by his "real" sermons because he gets sick? Uhhhh fuck off. What a garbage human being. It's weird because I think Wahlberg was attempting to parallel his own redemption story, but this "priest" never redeems himself. It is very strange seeing him in a fat suit, though. I don't think I've ever seen Marky Mark *not* fit. Anyway, this is an awful movie - terrible story, far too long, and utterly pointless. 

4. They/Them - *some spoilers* Wow. It's not the worst movie I've seen this year (that's The Weekend Away), but it's pretty darn close. Even though it is terrible, I will admit that I think the title is brilliant - it's a perfectly campy horror device for the next generation (pronounced They Slash Them in case that went over your head). And I will praise the inclusivity of the cast. But that's about where it ends. The plot could be good - it's basically Friday the 13th, but instead of a summer camp it's a conversion therapy camp. But for some reason, instead of a chilling slasher flick, it turns into a revenge horror and the only people that are murdered are the bad people who are trying to convert the gay kids....soooooo....YAY? That's not exactly scary? Also, it's an HOUR AND 22 MINUTES before someone even dies. Before that you just get a few glimpses of a person in a scary mask lurking about. I think the cast do their best with the dialogue that they are given, but unfortunately nothing seems genuine. I do not think teens talk like this at all - and they definitely don't know the full lyrics to P!nk's song "Fuckin' Perfect", a song that is in no way iconic and came out when these kids were 4 years old. I also just have such a hard time believing that this is the same America that I live in. I know that there are still parts of the country that are like this, but I think a lot of the bullying, etc. comes from parents and political figures not their peers. I just don't believe that being gay and dying your hair different colors makes one an outcast anymore (I went to the prom with a girl and dyed my hair blue, neon orange, blood red, etc. and I wasn't an outcast and that was 23 YEARS AGO! Kids are even far more accepting now). There is dialogue in the movie that actually says "so you're gay, big fucking deal!" and that sums up how I feel about this movie. Anyway, Kevin Bacon and Anna Chlumsky are far better than this - I don't know how they thought this movie was a good idea.

5. Men - I fucking loved this! It's definitely not for everyone (obviously. It received mostly terrible reviews), but I think if you liked Mother!, then you will like this. I read a few reviews that blasted it for being too obvious, but just like Mother!, that's what I like about it. Not everything has to be bathed in subtlety. As for Alex Garland, this is his third film as both writer and director - his first, Ex Machina, was excellent. I wasn't the biggest fan of Annihilation, and unfortunately, as I feared, I don't even remember much about it. I also liked Devs (his tv series) for the most part, but it didn't follow through with its ideas nor did it have much impact. I do think it's interesting that his projects are female-centric, but there is an underlying misogyny to the story-telling. I don't necessarily think that's a bad thing though. It's fascinating to watch a man attempt to understand a woman's psyche, with the end result being very messy. I think most men are too scared to even attempt it (and that's one of the reasons we've been bombarded with male stories for so long). And back to the obviousness of this - I think it's really satisfying to watch this as a horror movie, but instead of a supernatural entity, or a psychopathic serial killer, the thing that women are actually scared of is quite simply...men. Every man, all men. We're scared to take a walk in the woods because there might be a man walking as well - and he might follow us home, stalk us, expose himself. We're scared of saying no to a drink at the bar for fear that the man might get angry and/or resentful. We're scared that the men in power (like a police officer) will not listen to our concerns and side with their fellow men. And, in a devastatingly true but heart-breaking admission, we're scared of the men who claim to love us. I think this needs to be obvious - women need to start shouting this from the fucking rooftops. I think I had this huge realization at how clueless men are of this (I'm talking now about the good ones), when I first started dating my husband. *short story time*. I had this man approach me in a parking garage at 5am (I sometimes work that early) - it was dark and there was nobody else around. And for a good 30 seconds as he approached, I thought "this is it". But, instead he just wanted to tell me that he followed my lead by not parking by the open side because it was supposed to snow. He was like "oh good thinking! You're smart!" - completely innocent and then he walked away. I told my husband (then boyfriend) this story and how upsetting it was and it turned into nothing, and he responded with "well, don't you feel stupid". And let me tell you, I WENT OFF. How can he think it was okay for this strange man to approach me in an empty parking garage in the dark??? Why should I feel stupid for thinking I was about to be raped/murdered? Does he approach women when the are by themselves??? It blew my mind that he didn't see this as a problem and I had to explain it to him. I had to tell him that even though he is one of the "good" ones, and even if he has the best intentions, him approaching a woman who is by herself instantly gives her a moment of sheer terror. He did not know. I do think a lot of this fear comes from the media, television, movies, etc. (especially with the rush of true crime stories), and is definitely an overreaction, but I still feel that way nonetheless, and every woman I know feels the same. Anyway, this is why I think stories can be as obvious as they need to be. I like that this idea is enhanced by having Rory Kinnear play all of the different men she encounters - to make them all interchangeable and therefore just as dangerous. It goes a bit bat-shit for the last 30 minutes (but so does Mother!), and there is some crazy unexpected body horror (the knife through the hand is glorious). It also has a bit of a Suspiria vibe (which I've just seen for the first time last year (or was it 2020? Time is non-existent) and really liked it. I think this might be my favorite movie of the year so far (but I don't know, there's something about After Yang that is just so beautiful. It's a close call).