Tuesday, January 12, 2016

4 Thoughts on The Golden Globes

1. The Host - I really don't care what anyone says, I think Ricky Gervais is hilarious. And mean. Very mean. I'm considered a nice person (and I'm often criticized as being "too nice", to which I say fuck right off. I'll be as nice as I wish.), but I often roll my eyes at celebrity hi-jinks. I feel like Ricky calls out the bullshit. A perfect example is Jennifer Lawrence and her "essay on feminism". As a feminist, I will admit that it's absolutely necessary for all women to speak out about the injustices of the pay gap that still exists. HOWEVER, when you're throwing numbers around that exist in the millions, the message gets lost. It's absolutely ridiculous for someone making 52 million in one year to complain about any type of money issue. If she wants to make an impact, then I suggest she donate to the millions of women who live in poverty because they can't afford to pay a babysitter, and therefore have a hard time maintaining a job. I'm on one of my epic sidetracks now, but my point is that it's hypocrisy at its best (worst?). Ricky making fun of her is essential, because some of these celebrities live in clouds - and sadly they are the ones with enough money to make an impact. I feel a similar way about the Caitlyn Jenner fiasco. Sure, transgender role model, but she KILLED SOMEONE, so human role model? Um. No. I love that Ricky pointed out that she "didn't do a lot for women drivers" (and is he really getting flack for saying that? That was in no way criticism of the transgender community, but a comment on how that family is so popular that they are essentially above the law. If anything it's a joke about female drivers, which isn't a new joke, and it's true. Women are shitty drivers.). So, needless to say, I enjoyed Ricky as the host. Keep those "mean" jokes coming, Ricky.

2. The Show - Last year, I watched the Golden Globes on an hour delay so that I could fast-forward through all the boring parts. This year, I didn't even watch it until the next day. It just doesn't feel like an important awards show anymore. I know, I know "important" and "awards show" doesn't really go together. But, as someone who loves movies and television, I love to see talent awarded, and I used to love the Golden Globes. I appreciated that it didn't really take itself too seriously. Now, though, the Hollywood Foreign Press just doesn't seem to be inline with my opinions (doesn't make them wrong, but I mean, they did nominate The Tourist. Nope, still not over it). I like that the show doesn't really have any sketches or gimmicks. It's just a host and presenters. You think, it would move pretty quickly, but nope. The main reason for this is that almost all of the presenters obnoxiously tried to steal as much stage time as possible. They need to limit who gets to do elaborate jokes, and they should do a better job of approving said jokes, because Jonah Hill dressed as the bear from The Revenant is a severe waste of precious minutes. And, what the fuck was with Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence? Why did they start talking all whiny like that? Was that supposed to be funny? Sexy? It wasn't either. The only presenters I enjoyed were Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling (because duh), and Amber Heard and Jaimie Alexander (also, because duh). There really wasn't even any good speeches, either. The worst (by far) was Quentin Tarantino accepting the award for Ennio Morricone, and he made the win all about himself (that's soo Quentin). Even Denzyl Washington seemed clueless on stage accepting an award that he knew he was going to win. Oh, I did like Taraji P. Henson's "I've waited 20 years for this" shout at the orchestra. Those poor people, they tried their best to play off every single winner to no avail. They even (had the nerve) to play off Leo. That's brave, orchestra people. I think the best part of the show was all of the audience reactions that were caught on camera. I know Leo's face when Lady Gaga bumped his arm is the one that became instantly popular, but the one that made me laugh was Alan Cumming's reaction after the banter between Ricky and Mel Gibson. Plus, it took balls to pan the camera to Harvey Weinstein when Ricky was talking about producers paying for awards. I mean, it's a known thing, but still...He's right there! And he owns Hollywood. I wouldn't mess with him.

3. The Winners - 2015 wasn't one of my favorite years in film. The Big Short is a landslide for my favorite movie of the year, so I would have liked to see it win for Bale and for Comedy. And speaking of comedy, let's get this out of the way, because it was continuously joked about - The Martian is not a comedy in any way, shape, or form. I wouldn't categorize The Big Short as one, either, but at least, there are very funny moments. I didn't laugh at all during The Martian, although I did hear of people laughing (was it the disco thing? Because that was just the same joke, over and over again. How is that funny?). I think the whole reason that I ever liked the Golden Globes is because they separated comedy and drama. But, it defeats the purpose, if they are just going to fill the comedy category with dramatic movies. I can't really comment much further on the movie side of the awards, but the television side was straight up crazy. First, how did no-one tell me that one of my favorite actors, Gael Garcia Bernal, is in a television show? HOW?! (Also, how do I watch it? I loathe Amazon. Is there another way?). Second, how did Mr. Robot not win? WAIT, WHAT?! They actually awarded the best show of the season?! HOLY SHIT. Kudos, Hollywood Foreign Press, you may have gained my respect again. Another one they got correct is Maura Tierney. I've been a huge fan of hers since NewsRadio, and of course, E.R., and I am in complete shock that this is her first Golden Globe nomination (and win). She definitely stole the show in season 2 of The Affair. It made me sad that someone like Rachel Bloom (who might be very talented, I don't know), can win such an award so quickly (off of a 1/2 season of a show that not many people watch), while it took Tierney 20 years? It kind of puts the whole ridiculousness into perspective. Third, how did Ben Mendelsohn not win? I love Christian Slater, but Ben deserved the win. Plus, Lady Gaga is alright on AHS. She's better than I thought she was going to be, but award-worthy? No fucking way. Overall, though, I can't complain about a show that gives an award to Leonardo DiCaprio AND Kate Winslet (Titanic fangirl forever).

4. The Fashion - There were some really beautiful dresses this year. My favorite is surprising because I usually like more subtle dresses, but I thought Kirsten Dunst looked absolutely stunning. The shape of that dress is just perfect. I think it's impossible to look at her in that dress and not say out-loud "DAMN, GIRL". I also liked Brie Larson's goddess dress and Alicia Vikander's white dress, which are both things that I usually don't like. I really didn't see any stand-out dresses that I didn't like, and I don't really care to look through the sea of pictures to find one. The guys were all pretty handsome, too. Brad Pitt looked like late 90s/early 00s Brad Pitt (my favorite Brad Pitt). And Christian Slater! I never really thought he was hot like most girls my age, but now, at 46(!), he's really handsome. Orlando Bloom looked real good, too. I didn't realize he was coming back to the POTC saga. I feel like he's kind of disappeared. The worst was Channing Tatum's hair, which was much more disturbing that Jonah Hill as the bear from The Revenant. 

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