Friday, August 14, 2009

3 Reasons Why I Don't Recommend Watching "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra"

So far the biggest disappointment this summer is "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra". I was really hoping to enjoy this film, but had a strong feeling that I wouldn't...I should always trust my instincts. Here is why you should avoid seeing this film.

1. It's boring - Even writing about it bores me to death, so I'm not even going to get into how boring it was, just trust me.

2. The dialogue - Really, really bad. Not even laughably bad. In fact, I didn't find myself laughing once. I feel really bad for the actors, because I truly feel like it wasn't their fault - they did the best with what they had to work with. The most offensive dialogue came from Marlon Wayans - not because it was actually offensive, but because it was dull and awkward which is obviously not Marlon's fault - he's a pretty funny guy. They had several decent actors - JGL, Rachel Nichols, Christopher Eccleston (DR.WHO - it took me the entire length of the film to figure out where I knew him from), Channing Tatum and Sienna Miller (I actually forgot that I do like her as an actress - not so much as a tabloid staple). It's just a shame that they couldn't put their skills to better use.

3. It's predictable - I was really baffled by the sounds of shock from my surrounding audience at the ending of the film, because it was not a surprise at all, but it was the perfect set-up for an equally awful sequel.

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