Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Motorheads - Ohhhhhhkaaayyyy....this show is really bad. It's like a teen version of the The Fast and the Furious, which, in theory should be a thing I enjoy (I enjoy a LOT of trashy teen dramas, and I love the F&F franchise). But there's A LOT wrong with this show - and it already got cancelled so there is no point in watching it for yourself. You can just trust me on this one. The biggest (actually, the ONLY) reason I watched this was for Ryan Phillippe. I will watch anything with Ryan Phillippe (and trust me - he's been in a lot of bad stuff, but some great stuff too!). But he does this crazy southern accent in this that is hard to listen to. I'm not even sure what state this takes place in, but NOBODY else on the show has this accent so it makes no sense. Also, he's playing the uncle in this! Of 17 year olds! I know, I know he has children even older than that in real life, but I DON'T LIKE IT. In fact, his real-life son is in the flashbacks as his brother as a kid (I feel like that sentence doesn't make sense but it does if you've seen the show). The show is definitely for a younger audience, but I don't think the creators know what that means because it feels very dated. It could live in the same time period as Dawson's Creek and that's not what teenagers today will be watching. Anyway, it's pointless to talk about it even further. I hope Phillippe gets another project soon though. I love him - he was really good in that Shooter tv show. I think he needs something more like that. 

2. Smoke - I was super excited for this - another Apple tv+ series starring Taron Egerton and created by Dennis Lehane?! YES, PLEASE! Black Bird was great! And I liked this too, although not as much. It's far weirder than I expected and I'm not sure if that's a good thing, because it also didn't feel very real. The first episode is really boring - and it's clear it's trying to give off a True Detective vibe but it doesn't work at all. I think the ads give away the big twist, but in case you aren't aware of the story, *spoilers ahead*. It's also extremely predictable that HE is the arsonist. It's based on a podcast that is based on a true story of a serial arsonist who is also an arson investigator. Which is already fucking crazy. And a good story to tell. But it takes quite a few turns that don't really make sense and I think it loses its own plot among a mess of ideas. However, there is stuff I love. A lot of stuff, actually. I love Jurnee Smollett as his partner who starts to suspect him fairly quickly (I do not love the push-up bra they make her wear through the series...). She's a fantastic actress and should have gotten the Emmy for Lovecraft Country - maybe she'll get one for this? It's a shame because there is definitely award-worthy acting work here but with this release date, it will likely be forgotten by nomination time (although Black Bird had a similar release schedule and did some nominations, but it might have won with a different release date). She has great chemistry with Taron - playing it cool, making it seem like they're friends, but also calling him out on his shit. It's fun to watch the two of them. I like her backstory too. I do not, however, like her character's actions by the end. I mean, I get it, you're not supposed to like it, but I just found the whole thing OUT of character and I think it's only there to shock the audience (especially the audience who already know the story). I think Taron is fantastic in this - you can tell that he's having a TON of fun being this smarmy asshole who thinks he's fooling everyone. It works because he's naturally charming so it IS a bit hard to believe that he's a psychopath. But then when he goes full psychopath he excels. I love that he's going the James McAvoy route with unexpected roles - it's bold for popular actors to take roles that will alienate an audience, but I think it's necessary for them to grow as actors. Some do it and don't fully commit (like, I think Tom Holland tried to do this with The Crowded Room, but he doesn't go all the way there). Taron gives a genuinely creepy performance. The voice, the fake laugh - I hate it all - it makes my skin crawl, and that's what it's supposed to do. However, everyone is outshined by Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine. Holy shit - his performance is mesmerizing as the other serial arsonist. The scene in which he gets a haircut with the single tear that drops down his face!!! GIVE HIM AN EMMY! There is also a scene with Greg Kinnear that really sticks in my mind - when he's explaining how disheartening it is to hear that this man he's known and mentored for years has killed people because he thought "now that's a good man". It's really powerful. There are a few overall great episodes (the episode that turns him into a hero is probably my favorite one). And, in case I haven't mentioned it in the past, Taron is hot as fuck. I'm kidding, of course everyone knows I'm obsessed with him. But he does look really good in this - even if he's a prick. The white t-shirt, baseball hat, slutty glasses (I laughed so hard at the line "fuck your stupid fake fucking glasses"), the dancing in a thong to David Bowie 👀. Ridiculously hot. But, I have a lot of problems with the relationships depicted. His wife seems a decade older than him (which she probably is because he's playing someone in his 40s and he's only 36) and far smarter than him. She also does not rely on him financially so why exactly is she with him? There is zero chemistry between them, in fact, she seems to hate him in every scene. They don't have children together either. It's just a really unrealistic relationship. Women stay with abusive men (obvi), but there is no reason for her to stay in this one. If she loves him or is scared of him, then they needed to show that. Then his ex-wife seems even older! And she has even less of a reason to keep this affair going?! It's just weird. I also HATE the theme song because Thom Yorke's voice makes my ears bleed. Oh and they should have kept the original title "Firebug" because Taron was in a series called The Smoke (a baby-faced Taron, and a really good show!), so now it's confusing for him to be in another show called Smoke. Anyway, I do recommend this - it's dark, funny, weird, and certainly unexpected. 

3. Alien: Earth - UMMMM....can someone explain to me why this series is so fucking dull that I almost fall asleep by the end of each episode?? Jesus Christ pick it up please! I'm only 5 episodes in (I think...I lost track), but it's far from good. I'm so disappointed because I love Noah Hawley and I was SO excited when I heard about this project and I nagged my husband to watch it with me for weeks until he finally said "ok let's start the new Alien tv show" and then all that excitement came crashing down with a big thud by the end of the first episode (in which he had to wake me up because I fell asleep about 1/2 way in). The whole "kid in an adult body" thing is SUPER weird and just completely unnecessary. I hate it. It also just looks terrible and I don't understand why? I do like the cast though - although that hair on Timothy Olyphant has to go. And same for that Amelie hairstyle on our main character (I can't remember her name, but she's Kyle Chandler's daughter!). I also love Essie Davis, and the girl from the most recent Fargo (actually she might have been in a few seasons, but she's REALLY good in the most recent one). I also like that it's filmed in Thailand because it's so beautiful there - so even though the aliens and tech stuff look dumb, at least there is gorgeous scenery to enjoy. And Bangkok doubles as a future city so well - some of the architecture of those high-rise buildings is hard to believe (but that's what it really looks like!). But so far, I hate this. It's boring and stupid. And the way it ends with these heavy metal songs is hilarious. It's even funnier because watching it on Hulu it's missing the commercials so it fades to black for ad breaks but it almost seems like it's an ending so the only way to know it's the actual end is the dumb song at the end. It does wake me up from my nap, though. Ugh. 

4. Dexter: Resurrection - *spoilers ahead* I know this isn't technically new because it's a continuation of the Dexter franchise, but I'm including it here because...I feel like it! It's my blog and I do what I want. Anyway, This is good! Like old-school Dexter good! I like that they are going back to the original formula with a bit of a twist (NYC, his relationship with his son, Batista on the actual case, etc.). There are some things I don't like about it, but overall I'm having fun with it and look forward to each episode which is something that is missing from most television shows nowadays. I feel like a lot of tv has become a chore to sit through (like Alien: Earth). The cast of serial killers is incredible (Krysten Ritter, Peter Dinklage, Neil Patrick Harris, etc.), as is the casting of Uma Thurman. Oh also, the same guy I just raved about in Smoke is in this too (Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine)!! I'm a big fan - I love how raspy and calm his voice is. I just watched the episode where his mom dies and he's so good in it. The episode, in general, has been the strongest because it also ends with a fantastic twist - that the one serial killer, named Gemini, is a twin (DUH!! How did I not see that coming! LOL). But I can't wait to see the interaction between him and Dexter (does he know his brother is dead and that Dexter did it???). I couldn't watch the next episode (stupid work!), but I'm dying to! Which is refreshing. I think that's something that is also missing from a lot of tv shows - a good cliffhanger. It's not as necessary anymore because people binge, but I miss them and Dexter was the king of a great cliffhanger. 

5. The Paper - I'm sorry, but I think this show is pretty awful. It has potential to get better, but it needs a lot of help and a deep-dive into which characters are working and which aren't - and I'm not sure they will take that step. So, first, here are some things that I like about it: I appreciate that the theme song is so similar to The Office, but different enough to be its own thing. It's really smart to show the dying industry of journalism & physical media right from the opening credits. It's extremely relevant to todays world - without becoming overly political. I also appreciate that it's a traditional sitcom because they are so hard to do right now. And I really like Chelsea Frei - she was in Animal Control too and very funny and cute in that. She kind of reminds me of an American version of Anne-Marie Duff (that's a compliment - I LOVE Anne-Marie Duff). I like the thread of connection to The Office with Oscar Nunez continuing his role as Oscar Martinez. I'm not really a big fan of Domhnall Gleeson. I was willing to give him a chance, though. He's fine but I wish he wasn't the star of the show. As far as the things I think need to be reevaluated: I'm sorry, but the woman from The White Lotus is unbearable. I didn't like her on The White Lotus either (but she was nominated for an Emmy, wo what do I know?). Not only is she a terrible actress, but the character is so grating I can't even watch her scenes. Unfortunately, she's in far too many scenes. She's the foil to Gleeson's character, but none of it is working. The foil is already there - it's a dying industry - just focus on that. As relevant as it is, it's weird that they focus on online journalism being the downfall of print journalism, when right now, online journalism is being destroyed by AI, so it almost feels like this is in the past. They need to figure that part out. There really aren't any other memorable or funny characters either - they are all just there. I just think the writing needs to be pushed further - make it funnier, weirder, more sarcastic, just SOMETHING so it's not so flat and predictable. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Thunderbolts* - LOVED IT!!! I know, I know, it got rave reviews so I should have expected to love it but I thought people were being overly generous because Marvel movies have been mostly mediocre for the past 5 years, but this IS good! I was so engrossed that I barely took any notes! So, I'll do my best to remember all the things I loved. First of all, is there a Florence Pugh Oscar campaign going or do I have to start one myself??? She's INCREDIBLE. Maybe her best performance yet! She's EVERYTHING - a stunningly raw performance that deals with grief and loss of a loved one, the feeling of emptiness and living an unfulfilled existence etc., but she's also funny and charming in a way. The rest of the cast plays off of her energy very well. Her and David Harbour have a great father/daughter relationship. I love the relationship that forms between her and Pullman's character - she has sympathy for his "dark thoughts" and sees the good in him. There's great banter between her and Wyatt Russell. I would say that the only weak link for me is Bucky, but that's because I've hated Bucky from the beginning and nothing is going to change that. He's an awful character and Sebastian Stan is a terrible actor. I'm also confused at the death of *SPOILER ALERT* Taskmaster (played by Olga Kurylenko) so quickly?! I don't even think she has any lines? I'm sure there is a story there, but I'm too lazy to look into it. I also hated that they "changed" the name of the movie after being released to The New Avengers because it kind of spoils the plot, but also I hated like 1/2 of the original Avengers and I wasn't a big fan of the additions - so the thought of another Avengers film was unappealing to me. But I love how they ended this with this grey area of who the other "real" Avengers are and how they are going to work as a team. The end credits scene is probably the best (and longest) that Marvel has done. And Starship's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" is one of my favorite songs (if I had a wedding it was going to be my wedding song because it's so cheesy and good - I thought it would be hilarious). 

2. Eenie Meanie - Another Samara Weaving movie!! I'm obsessed with her, but this movie is another 3 star movie. I was entertained for most of it, but probably won't remember it a year from now. It could have been much better - with some funnier bits and a stronger pace - it could have been the next Baby Driver. Instead, it drags and I totally stopped paying attention to the actual heist details. I do love Karl Glusman, though (and that pool table dance! Sexy man!). He should be a much bigger star. And Samara is great. They have great chemistry. And she looks so good with the blonde hair and black underneath. Not a lot of women can pull that off. It's super weird that she's in a movie called Eenie Meanie after being in a movie called Ready or Not. Next she'll star in Ring Around the Rosie (it will be about the Bubonic Plague, of course!). Anyway, I don't have much else to say about this. It's fine. There's some strange darker stuff about her being abused as a child that's sort of glossed over a lot, and not entertaining so it drags the film down even more. 

3. The Pickup - This could have been a fun film, but it's oddly lacking in humor, chemistry, and style. It's just all very dry and awkward, which is a shame because I like Keke Palmer A LOT. And I don't mind Pete Davidson (The King of Staten Island really changed my perspective on him). I thought they could be fun together, but I was wrong. Plus, Eddie Murphy?! How did this end up so dull? It's just very boring and predictable. And long! The jokes hardly land - I think I maybe laughed once but I don't remember a specific reason why. I also don't like Eva Longoria (I have my reasons - she said something very homophobic in my presence. I worked as a director's assistant and stand-in on a film she was in 15ish years ago). She's not in the movie much, but just enough to ruin it even more. Also, casting Andrew Dice Clay in the year 2025??? Why is that necessary? The only bright spot is, as I expected, Keke - she's gorgeous and does her best with the clunky dialogue. I feel like she's the only one trying to make this shitty plot work. 

4. She Rides Shotgun - I read this book when it was announced that Taron was starring in this, and it was...fine? I described it as "simple" and I think that description still stands. It has a strong story, but it's just not written well. I do like that it's told from both the father and daughter perspective, but I almost wish it was *just* from her perspective. The film is mostly from her perspective - and I think that's a wise choice. I liked it, but it did remind me of Sons of Anarchy or more of a tv movie instead of the gritty indie film that it desperately wants to be. Taron is, once again, acting his ass off. I do hope and pray that he does something lighter soon (his next film he plays a serial killer or something like that, but I don't think he has anything lined up after that so I demand a musical, rom-com, or the third Kingsman movie!). His American accent didn't bother me at all - which is a first! The tattoos are hilarious though - why would anyone have a safety pin tattooed on their face? LOL. The girl that plays his daughter, Ana Sophia Heger, is really good for a child actor. She definitely holds her own in this and understands the character very well. They have great father/daughter chemistry. I just have a hard time with the story for a LOT of personal reasons (as someone who had a father in prison because he was involved with drug and weapon smuggling and surrounded himself with very scary looking men like the ones featured in this movie. And my best childhood friend is actually in witness protection, along with her mom, because her father was killed and they testified against these very scary men. I just think my life would have ended up just like this girl's life if my mom had stayed with my dad. But she didn't - she escaped. ANYWAY). I can't help but hate Nate - even though they try really hard to make him good. I did laugh hard when he's trying to rob the convenience story (out of necessity, apparently) and he gets shot, and then hit by a car, and then his own gun goes off. Hahaha! Genius. I think the end is really bad, though. There is no way a cop would let this little girl anywhere near this showdown - she would have been safer by herself in a random hotel. It also should have been 100 minutes max - there is not enough story for a 2 hour film. 

5. Until Dawn - I don't know the video game or even how in the Hell this even is a video game??? But, the story is dull as rocks. And the movie is stupid. It's not the worst movie of 2025, but it's so stupid that I had to stop paying attention to it so my brain didn't explode. And speaking of exploding - I DIED laughing after they explode from drinking the water. I definitely was not expecting that - and it's probably the only good sequence in the movie. The beginning dialogue is ROUGH. And these actors are horrible. I recognize the one guy from the new show Motorheads (I watch it purely for Ryan Phillippe). And the one girl is an Adlon daughter (and she was in She Rides Shotgun! Always weird when you watch two movies back-to-back and they star the same random actor/actress! She's not the best actress though). It's a bit like Happy Death Day, with them reliving the day they are murdered, with the twist of them being trapped in a house, but it's nowhere near as good. I think they could have pushed this plot further than they do, and instead they rely on gory deaths (some of which are genuinely good). I feel really bad for the character Megan - she seems to get hit the hardest every time. I'm wondering how the game works though - do you just keep dying like this? How is that fun? 

4 Thoughts on The Emmys

1. The Host - I don't know who Nate Bargatze is. I've heard the name from my husband because he knows way more about stand-up comedians than I do. He listens to podcasts and watches comedy specials regularly. I remember when Nikki Glaser was announced as Golden Globes host he almost considered watching the show because he loves her. And she KILLED IT! So, I asked his opinion on Bargatze and he had nothing but good things to say so I thought it was going to be another slam-dunk. But this was AWFUL. As soon as it opened with an SNL sketch, I knew we were in for a disappointing affair. Every joke had been told before and felt extremely dated (The Bear isn't a comedy? That's what you're going to riff on 3 years later?). Then he came onto the stage and explained his whole strategy for keeping the show on time (one of the hardest things for an awards show host to accomplish) - which was to donate $100k to The Boys and Girls Club and then take away $1000 for every second a winner goes over their allotted speech time. I get it - it's funny. And obviously not real. There is no way they were going to donate anything less than $100k. But it made for some funny moments like Hannah screaming "I'll pay the difference" etc. My problem with it was that there was literally nothing else to his hosting gig. Instead of telling jokes he just kept going back to this bit - updating the amount and riffing on whether someone helped his wallet by going over their time. THAT'S ALL HE DID. EVERY TIME. It was only mildly amusing but it became grating about 1/4 in, and then it was almost UNWATCHABLE by the end. 

2. The Show - It wasn't just the host that was terrible - the whole show sucked. What the fuck was that Golden Girls tribute?? They sounded fine, but it lasted like 2 seconds and they just sung the theme song instead of talking about why it was so important to television history. And the Gilmore Girls reunion was so awkward - if I didn't know any better I would think these two women hate each other! Why did they let Elizabeth Banks go on an on about it being 5 women directors in the category if they knew a man was going to win? The thing is - he deserved that win. Adolescence is an incredible technical feat! But the way she presented it to him made everyone groan "of course the award went to a man", which kind of sucks for him. I think that was a shitty thing for Banks to do - but it's not her fault. The rest of the presenters were all fairly dull - they teamed everyone up with their tv co-stars which doesn't really make for interesting pairings. I think the only time I laughed is with Katherine Hahn and Ike Barinholtz turning off the teleprompters because they don't "need" writers ("Noah Wyle! So good on Scrubs" made me giggle). I will say that the In Memoriam was really beautiful - I don't follow country music so I have no idea who those people are, but they sounded angelic together. Just stunningly beautiful. 

3. The Winners - This is the second year in a row that I'm fairly happy with the winners. I wish they spread the love a tiny bit more, but Adolescence, Hacks/The Studio, & The Pitt were the best miniseries, comedies, & drama, respectively. I was surprised that Severance took the lead actress and supporting actor categories, though not undeserved; I just expected Kathy Bates and Sam Rockwell to take those. I'm kind of happy that The White Lotus was pretty much shut out because that season SUCKED (although I loved the actors). I also expected The Studio to win writer/director & show, but I did NOT expect Seth Rogen to take the win for lead actor!!! WOW. As much as I like Rogen, he was at the bottom of those nominees for me (mostly because I feel like he's just playing a version of himself). I was also SHOCKED that Owen Cooper won! He's only 15! Up against - oh wait - that was a pretty weak category now that I think about it....but still! He's so cute, and his speech was adorable. Hannah Einbinder is a co-lead of Hacks, but she'll never win against Jean Smart. I'm happy she won, but it's also frustrating for actual supporting roles. I wanted Jessica Williams to win. Actually, that's probably my only complaint - Shrinking should have won a few. I think Harrison Ford deserved it the most for making me cry (and I'm not even a Harrison Ford fan - so that's saying a lot). But the biggest win that I was rooting for was Cristin Milioti - she was so good on The Penguin. And her speech was so cute and made me fall in love with her a little bit!

4. The Fashion - I know it was weird and not to everyone's taste, but I LOVED Jenna Ortega's look - it was clearly a nod to Isabella Rossellini in Death Becomes Her, and I like that she took a risk. I wish that more young actresses took these type of risks. I also thought Sydney Sweeney's Jessica Rabbit dress looked insanely gorgeous on her. Those were definitely my two favorite looks of the night. I also loved Molly Gordon's black and white striped dress - very Audrey Hepburn but modern. And Tina Fey's dress looked stunning on her. Some looks I did not love: Aimee Lou Wood's dress was pretty but ill-fitting in the bust area. Parker Posey's lilac curtain dress. Gross. Meghann Fahy looked like she belonged on Dynasty. And Elizabeth Banks looked like a 90s Barbie (and not in a good way). 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Happy Gilmore 2 - So I rewatched the first one a few days before watching this because *surprise* I don't remember anything about a movie that came out almost 30 years ago. I still enjoyed it very much - it's funny and definitely quotable. I'm not the biggest Adam Sandler fan, although I do appreciate how down-to-earth he is and how kind he is to fans. But the baby talk thing he does drives me insane. He's just a very one-note comedian and it got grating. I do remember liking this, along with Big Daddy, The Wedding Singer, but the rest of his comedies have been mostly unwatchable. I think it's so funny how much hotter Julie Bowen is *now* compared to 30 years ago (proof that a bad haircut can age you!). She actually came in to my store (I assume while filming this - it was filmed in NJ and Adam Sandler was all over local news while filming this and another film right after), and I didn't recognize her at first. I just thought to myself "wow what a beautiful woman" and then I asked her if she needed help with anything. She said no, and as I turned away, I realized "wait a minute! I know her!". Anyway, *major spoiler* I think it's incredibly shitty that they start this sequel by KILLING HER OFF???? What a fucking downer. They could have done the entire plot of the new golf trying to replace traditional golf and them relying on Happy to save the day without killing off his wife and mother of 5 (? I don't actually remember how many kids they ended up with. But one of them is played by the kid who played Liam Gallagher on the US version of Shameless!!). It just made me so mad that it was hard to enjoy the movie. I did like some other stuff - I like that he made this a family affair (both of his daughters and his wife have roles). I LOVE that Adam Sandler is such a girl dad because his comedy is very male-centric and "bro-y". I also think the whole random object is a surprise flask bit that is continued throughout the film is hilarious. The golf ball one got me good. But otherwise, it was...*fine*. 

2. Borderline - I love Samara Weaving so much. And I love that she's really made herself into an accidental horror queen, but more specifically a horror comedy queen (Ready or Not, The Babysitter and the iconic first kill in Scream VI). This is that same genre that she's perfected - not really horror but a thriller with some very funny moments. I'm not sure that anyone outside of a certain generation will understand how funny it is because it's loosely based on Madonna's stalker in the 90s - so there are a ton of Madonna references that I'm not sure younger people will get. I didn't really know that's what it was about until a few minutes in, but I *thought* "oh is this based on Madonna?" and then realized yes, that's why it's titled Borderline (one of my fave Madonna songs). It's hilarious that Jimmie Fails is the Dennis Rodman character (wedding dress and all! Look it up kids!). But the real standout of the film is Ray Nicholson who goes way harder in this film than I think anyone would expect him to. Not all nepobabies are bad! Ray has his dad's famous smile, but he's proven that he also has the talent to boot! When the film is focused on Samara and Ray's characters it's very good. The premise is also very good, but anytime anyone else is on screen I got very bored. And, I'm sorry, but Alba Baptista (aka Chris Evan's wife) can NOT act. She also looks like she's about 12 and she's very tiny, so I don't believe for a second she can overtake someone literally 3 times her size. There's a lot of the film that is just plain stupid or not believable (why is she wearing sneakers in her own home? wouldn't you scream if your stalker showed up in your kitchen?? Wouldn't you arm yourself with a knife instead of throwing fruit at him?). But, overall, the lead performances excel and it has a great soundtrack! I was WAITING for the Borderline song, but it definitely was not what I was expecting. It's....interesting. 

3. Freaky Tales - I liked this - it's three short stories but they all have a slight connection even though the stories themselves are very different. I like the setting of 1987 in Oakland California, because I think that's a very specific period of time that is tangible but also feels like a different world from present day (a world in which people waited in line to get into a club instead of for a Labubu). I think the story featuring Pedro Pascal is the strongest (and he's finally not miscast in something!), but I also really enjoyed the girl duo freestyle rapping (I think they are supposed to be like a Salt-N-Pepa type group). I've said this before, but I think rapping is such a talent - it's POETRY! Especially rap battles that are basically improv. People get put off by the crassness of the language, but there is such skill involved. Anyway, the film as a whole is very interesting, even if unmemorable. I think it could have lost the animation stuff - it felt like that was added on to give it something of interest, but it's unnecessary. I like most of the cast a lot - especially Jay Ellis. I rooted for him HARD on Insecure. He's SO hot. I like the girl from Expats. And Kier Gilchrist (who should be a bigger star by now). Plus, Angus Cloud (I think this was his last role - what a loss. He was my favorite on Euphoria)!

4. The Monkey - This isn't necessarily a bad movie, but it's just very pointless? Like, I couldn't understand what it was trying to say...if anything? Other than the very obvious "don't be a dick head" and "everybody dies, that's life" lesson. I just feel like horror is usually used as a metaphor for social issues (racism, classism, sexism, etc.), and this just...is about a toy monkey that can magically kill people. It's a bit more on the same scale as Final Destination with the focus being more on these insane "freak accident" deaths. This is directed by Osgood Perkins - who also directed Longlegs and I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House. I didn't love either of them, but they are interesting. This...isn't. Instead, it's more about the gore and other movies have done gore much better. I thought it was weird that the nanny was named Annie Wilkes, but then I realized that it was a nod to Stephen King because this is based on one of his short stories. I wonder if that had more of a point? I'm a big fan of Theo James (he was great on his season of The White Lotus, and I LOVE The Gentlemen tv show - can't wait for season 2!), but I don't think he's a strong enough actor to play twins. And the supporting cast is great (Tatiana Maslany, Elijah Wood, Adam Scott, etc.), but they all have very small roles, which is disappointing. I don't even have anything else to say...it's just...blah. 

5. The Phoenician Scheme - Honestly, I hate how well Wes Anderson movies are made because I almost never end up liking them but I'm forced to rate most at least 3 stars because they are SO GORGEOUS. For fun here is my unofficial (and probably controversial) Wes Anderson ranking: 

The Royal Tenenbaums

Isle of Dogs

The Darjeeling Limited

Asteroid City

The French Dispatch

Fantastic Mr. Fox

The Life Aquatic

The Phoenician Scheme

The Grand Budapest Hotel

Moonrise Kingdom 

(I've seen Rushmore and Bottle Rocket, but I don't remember them enough to have an opinion) 

And even though this is towards the bottom of my ranking, I rate it 3 stars for that opening credits scene alone - it's so fucking gorgeous. The blocking, the colors, the camera placement - 10/10 no notes. I like the base story - that this billionaire is trying to reconnect to his daughter and make sure she can take over his business arrangements after he dies. But it goes on so many tangents and ridiculous scenarios that it becomes grating. There are a few highlights - the basketball scene with Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston is hilarious. Michael Cera was MADE for Wes Anderson films and it's WILD that this is his first time starring in one. But the biggest surprise for me was Mia Threapleton. I don't think I've ever seen her in anything but she seemed familiar and I thought she has the same air about her as Mia Wasikowski (not in looks but in this young confident star kind of way). It started to bother me though as to WHY she seemed SO familiar so I looked her up and HOLY SHIT she's Kate Winslet's daughter! She looks *just* like her and sounds even more like her. But also I can't believe Kate Winslet's daughter is 24 years old because I remember when she was pregnant like it was only 10 years ago max *cries in old lady*. Anyway, Benicio del Toro is also great. Scarlett Johansson is probably the weak link for me (that accent *eeek*), but that's not surprising to anyone.