1. Happy Gilmore 2 - So I rewatched the first one a few days before watching this because *surprise* I don't remember anything about a movie that came out almost 30 years ago. I still enjoyed it very much - it's funny and definitely quotable. I'm not the biggest Adam Sandler fan, although I do appreciate how down-to-earth he is and how kind he is to fans. But the baby talk thing he does drives me insane. He's just a very one-note comedian and it got grating. I do remember liking this, along with
Big Daddy,
The Wedding Singer, but the rest of his comedies have been mostly unwatchable. I think it's so funny how much hotter Julie Bowen is *now* compared to 30 years ago (proof that a bad haircut can age you!). She actually came in to my store (I assume while filming this - it was filmed in NJ and Adam Sandler was all over local news while filming this and another film right after), and I didn't recognize her at first. I just thought to myself "wow what a beautiful woman" and then I asked her if she needed help with anything. She said no, and as I turned away, I realized "wait a minute! I know her!". Anyway, *major spoiler* I think it's incredibly shitty that they start this sequel by KILLING HER OFF???? What a fucking downer. They could have done the entire plot of the new golf trying to replace traditional golf and them relying on Happy to save the day
without killing off his wife and mother of 5 (? I don't actually remember how many kids they ended up with. But one of them is played by the kid who played Liam Gallagher on the US version of
Shameless!!). It just made me so mad that it was hard to enjoy the movie. I did like some other stuff - I like that he made this a family affair (both of his daughters and his wife have roles). I LOVE that Adam Sandler is
such a girl dad because his comedy is very male-centric and "bro-y". I also think the whole random object is a surprise flask bit that is continued throughout the film is hilarious. The golf ball one got me good. But otherwise, it was...*fine*.
2. Borderline - I love Samara Weaving so much. And I love that she's really made herself into an accidental horror queen, but more specifically a horror
comedy queen (
Ready or Not,
The Babysitter and the iconic first kill in
Scream VI). This is that same genre that she's perfected - not really
horror but a thriller with some very funny moments. I'm not sure that anyone outside of a certain generation will
understand how funny it is because it's loosely based on Madonna's stalker in the 90s - so there are a ton of Madonna references that I'm not sure younger people will get. I didn't really know that's what it was about until a few minutes in, but I *thought* "oh is this based on Madonna?" and then realized yes, that's why it's titled
Borderline (one of my fave Madonna songs). It's hilarious that Jimmie Fails is the Dennis Rodman character (wedding dress and all! Look it up kids!). But the real standout of the film is Ray Nicholson who goes way harder in this film than I think anyone would expect him to. Not all nepobabies are bad! Ray has his dad's famous smile, but he's proven that he also has the talent to boot! When the film is focused on Samara and Ray's characters it's very good. The premise is also very good, but anytime anyone else is on screen I got very bored. And, I'm sorry, but Alba Baptista (aka Chris Evan's wife) can NOT act. She also looks like she's about 12 and she's very tiny, so I don't believe for a second she can overtake someone literally 3 times her size. There's a lot of the film that is just plain stupid or not believable (why is she wearing sneakers in her own home? wouldn't you scream if your stalker showed up in your kitchen?? Wouldn't you arm yourself with a knife instead of throwing fruit at him?). But, overall, the lead performances excel and it has a great soundtrack! I was WAITING for the
Borderline song, but it definitely was not what I was expecting. It's....interesting.
3. Freaky Tales - I liked this - it's three short stories but they all have a slight connection even though the stories themselves are very different. I like the setting of 1987 in Oakland California, because I think that's a very specific period of time that is tangible but also feels like a different world from present day (a world in which people waited in line to get into a club instead of for a Labubu). I think the story featuring Pedro Pascal is the strongest (and he's finally
not miscast in something!), but I also really enjoyed the girl duo freestyle rapping (I think they are supposed to be like a Salt-N-Pepa type group). I've said this before, but I think rapping is such a talent - it's POETRY! Especially rap battles that are basically improv. People get put off by the crassness of the language, but there is such skill involved. Anyway, the film as a whole is very interesting, even if unmemorable. I think it could have lost the animation stuff - it felt like that was added on to give it something of interest, but it's unnecessary. I like most of the cast a lot - especially Jay Ellis. I rooted for him HARD on
Insecure. He's SO hot. I like the girl from
Expats. And Kier Gilchrist (who should be a bigger star by now). Plus, Angus Cloud (I think this was his last role - what a loss. He was my favorite on
Euphoria)!
4. The Monkey - This isn't necessarily a
bad movie, but it's just very pointless? Like, I couldn't understand what it was trying to say...if anything? Other than the very obvious "don't be a dick head" and "everybody dies, that's life" lesson. I just feel like horror is usually used as a metaphor for social issues (racism, classism, sexism, etc.), and this just...is about a toy monkey that can magically kill people. It's a bit more on the same scale as
Final Destination with the focus being more on these insane "freak accident" deaths. This is directed by Osgood Perkins - who also directed
Longlegs and
I am the Pretty Thing that Lives in the House. I didn't love either of them, but they are interesting. This...
isn't. Instead, it's more about the gore and other movies have done gore much better. I thought it was weird that the nanny was named Annie Wilkes, but then I realized that it was a nod to Stephen King because this is based on one of his short stories. I wonder if that had more of a point? I'm a big fan of Theo James (he was great on his season of
The White Lotus, and I LOVE
The Gentlemen tv show - can't wait for season 2!), but I don't think he's a strong enough actor to play twins. And the supporting cast is great (Tatiana Maslany, Elijah Wood, Adam Scott, etc.), but they all have very small roles, which is disappointing. I don't even have anything else to say...it's just...blah.
5. The Phoenician Scheme - Honestly, I hate how well Wes Anderson movies are made because I almost never end up liking them but I'm forced to rate most at least 3 stars because they are SO GORGEOUS. For fun here is my unofficial (and probably controversial) Wes Anderson ranking:
The Royal Tenenbaums
Isle of Dogs
The Darjeeling Limited
Asteroid City
The French Dispatch
Fantastic Mr. Fox
The Life Aquatic
The Phoenician Scheme
The Grand Budapest Hotel
Moonrise Kingdom
(I've seen Rushmore and Bottle Rocket, but I don't remember them enough to have an opinion)
And even though this is towards the bottom of my ranking, I rate it 3 stars for that opening credits scene alone - it's so fucking gorgeous. The blocking, the colors, the camera placement - 10/10 no notes. I like the base story - that this billionaire is trying to reconnect to his daughter and make sure she can take over his business arrangements after he dies. But it goes on so many tangents and ridiculous scenarios that it becomes grating. There are a few highlights - the basketball scene with Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston is hilarious. Michael Cera was MADE for Wes Anderson films and it's WILD that this is his first time starring in one. But the biggest surprise for me was Mia Threapleton. I don't think I've ever seen her in anything but she seemed familiar and I thought she has the same air about her as Mia Wasikowski (not in looks but in this young confident star kind of way). It started to bother me though as to WHY she seemed SO familiar so I looked her up and HOLY SHIT she's Kate Winslet's daughter! She looks *just* like her and sounds even more like her. But also I can't believe Kate Winslet's daughter is 24 years old because I remember when she was pregnant like it was only 10 years ago max *cries in old lady*. Anyway, Benicio del Toro is also great. Scarlett Johansson is probably the weak link for me (that accent *eeek*), but that's not surprising to anyone.
