Emmy Nominations: The Good, The Bad, and The Snubbed

The Good:

- The Pitt is the best drama on television and it's not even close. I'm so happy for Noah Wyle (he better win!) and Katherine LaNasa. I'm confused as to why Shawn Hatosy is up for Guest Actor, but Sam Rockwell (for The White Lotus) had to go for Supporting??? They have about the same screen time and episode appearances, no? But whatever, I'm happy for both of them. 

- I love Slow Horses - I think it would be a much bigger hit if Apple tv+ actually advertised their shows better. I feel like they put all their money on pushing like 2 shows when they have a dozen every year that are the best tv has to offer. 

- WOW - they actually got the Comedy category right!! It matched my picks almost exactly, but I only put 7 shows on my list (I didn't put Only Murders, I think the last season was a mess). I do wish some more true sitcoms would get in (like Animal Control or St. Denis Medical), but overall, this is a great list in a very tough category. 

- Adolescence is great. I think it might be this year's Baby Reindeer and sweep. Which is a shame for The Penguin because that's a close call. I do still think Cristin Milioti will win (*crosses fingers*). 

- I'm not the biggest fan of The Last of Us. But, Joe Pantoliano blew me away with his episode. It's probably the only episode of the season I actually paid attention to. 

- I know it's mean, but I'm thrilled that The Handmaid's Tale & Elisabeth Moss were snubbed. That show should have ended at least 2 seasons ago and Moss is a terrible actress - nobody can convince me otherwise. 

- I never thought I would say this but Harrison Ford BETTER win! His performance in Shrinking is one of my favorites of the year. 

The Bad: 

- I like Severance just fine (it's good!), but 23 nominations is insane. 

- Paradise is a fun addictive drama, but it's not Emmy territory. Same for The Diplomat. 

- UGH...fucking Bowen Yang. I would rather be waterboarded than watch his SNL sketches.

- I knew Dying for Sex was well loved, but I thought the whole series was annoying and over-acted. Nominating Michelle Williams is a given (she's an awards darling), but the supporting cast too? Come ON. 

- I'm rolling my eyes hard at Black Mirror being nominated. That show hasn't been good in ages. 

- I'm not surprised at the love for The Studio (I love it too!), but LOL at that Guest Actor in a Comedy Series category. Martin Scorsese for an ACTING nomination? Playing a heightened version of himself? FUCK OFF. You just want Martin Scorsese to show up at the Emmys. Obvi. 

The Snubbed: 

- The entire supporting cast of The Pitt should be nominated - I'm shocked it didn't dominate the categories, but The White Lotus did. Taylor Dearden, Tracy Ifeachor, Isa Briones, Fiona Dourif, Gerran Howell, Supriya Ganesh. ALL OF THEM!

- If you're going to nominate shows like Paradise and The Diplomat, then at least pick the best one - and that's Black Doves. I think Kiera Knightley is deserving too. 

- I knew The White Lotus would dominate the supporting categories (I thought it would all be split between that and The Pitt actors), but my favorite one - Michelle Monaghan didn't get in and that makes me sad. It wasn't as showy as the others, but not all performances can be showy. 

- Kaitlyn Dever did score a nomination for The Last of Us, but she should have been nominated for Apple Cider Vinegar. She's so incredible on that series. 

- No Jack Lowden??! But he's so hot! Come on, Emmys!

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Mickey 17 - I liked this more than I thought I would, but it's still a 3 star movie. For some reason, I thought I was going to hate it?! And I like Bong Joon Ho! I think I just got annoyed by all of the overwhelming praise for Parasite. I mean, it's a good movie. Great even. But it wasn't even in my top 3 films of 2019 and it's crazy that it's picked as the "best" film of the last 25 years (according to the people who voted in that NYT poll. Drive didn't even make the list out of 100 films, so that list is automatically null and void in my opinion). But as far as this movie goes - I wouldn't exactly call it a "good" movie, but I love the ideas and the ambition so it gets a solid thumbs up from me. It's just in need of some deep editing. It's so easy to pick out the 20 minutes of film that could have been cut to make the story more cohesive and interesting. Instead, it lingers way too long on every scene and has so many moments that are just unnecessary. I'm also not the biggest fan of these acting performances. I can take or leave Robert Pattinson - he's been good in some stuff, definitely, but the voice he does here is so annoying. It sounds like he's doing a Danny DeVito impression and it doesn't match his physical appearance. It's almost like his voice has been dubbed over with someone else's voice. And this is the third thing I've seen Naomi Ackie in, so I can confirm - she can't act. I rolled my eyes hard with that single tear drop she manages to squeeze out. Her acting just feels so forced. And what the fuck is Mark Ruffalo doing here??? A Trump impression? It's soooo hard to watch. Steven Yeun and Toni Collette are the saving graces, but barely. The little alien creatures are super cute though!! And the plot is fun and original. 

2. Cleaner - I want to like Daisy Ridley, I really do...but she's not often cast in things that I enjoy. I'm convinced I can be swayed to like her if she just got cast in better roles (she was fine in the Star Wars movies, but I'm talking about everything else she's been in). I didn't really even want to watch this, but there was literally no other new movies available on any of my streaming services (at the time! Now I'm overwhelmed with options. I'm back to being very behind on my movie watching and also these posts! I watched this like 3 weeks ago!). But I thought this could be fun, and it had an interesting idea behind it. But it's just very average, very predictable, and very stupid. I mean, she WAKES UP WITH EYE LINER ON. It's one of my biggest pet peeves in movies. There are some cool parts - first, being a high-rise window cleaner is actually a very cool job. I bet the views are spectacular and it probably pays very well. Second, I like the idea that it's basically a Jason Statham movie but starring a woman instead. And third, there is some great fight choreography. But the predictability of it is mind-numbing. The whole brother side-plot, the whole Clive Owen being a bad guy but not as bad as the "real" bad guys is just obvious from the get go. And the bad guys being more of a protest against the wealthy thing only works if YOU DON'T KILL people. If you kill innocent people, you're the bad guy - it's not that complicated. 

3. A Working Man - And speaking of Jason Statham....I was hoping this was a bit more fun than it turned out to be. It's a very expected film. It's like Taken and John Wick, but...not very good? I just thought with Jason Statham, directed by David Ayer (and co-written by Sylvester Stallone!?), that it would be, at the very least, a solid action film. But there's just nothing really to it. This "working man" construction guy who used to be ex-military gets caught up with the Russian mob because they kidnap his boss' daughter for human trafficking. And he spends the whole movie fighting ridiculous villains that lead to nowhere until the end. The end. There's a whole subplot about him fighting for custody of his daughter that is literally completely dropped (does he get it? I guess we'll never know? or assume this rescue of another person will help him in court somehow?). They underuse Michael Pena too - because he could have been funny (at least before his daughter is kidnapped?) to provide some lightness but he's just this very serious boss. Just cast someone else if that's what the role is. I also think it's just a bit ridiculous - the second they have her they would ship her off somewhere. They wouldn't torture her and explain what's happening to her. That's not how human trafficking works. Anyway, there are way better dumb Statham movies to watch - this one feels like a waste of time and energy. 

4. Snow White (2025) - I'm constantly amazed at how big movies like this turn out so awful - like, how did producers watch the dailies for this and not realize it before it was too late? There are SO many things wrong with this movie and Rachel Zegler is about the only thing that's not wrong and YET she took all the blame! The biggest problem is CLEARLY Gal Gadot. I admit, I fully loved Gal when she was cast as Wonder Woman. And I still think she's great in that role. But, she's proven over and over again that that was an anomaly. She can't act. And she DEFINITELY can't sing (seriously, I thought my ears were going to bleed during her song). Why would they have her sing? Are the producers deaf? At least dub over it with someone who can? It's so WEIRD. The next problem is the creepy-as-fuck CGI dwarves. Who made that decision? Who saw those creations and thought "perfect for a kid's movie!"? Next, what the fuck did they do to Zegler's hair? Once the teaser was released and everyone pointed out that she looked like Lord Farquaad from Shrek, I couldn't unsee it. The overall costume design is horrendous too - Gadot's crown looks like it came from a Burger King kids meal and painted metallic purple. I would appreciated more creativity in the costume and hair/makeup design instead of trying to reproduce the original animation. And my final big problem with this film is that the guy who plays the prince (who isn't a prince?) is very, very boring. They have zero chemistry. And I'm pretty sure he's not straight (which is fine - I don't care if gay actors play straight just like I don't care if straight actors play gay, but you should be able to come off as straight for it to work. He does not. Like, at all.). There are many, many, many more smaller issues with this film - but there is some good stuff. Rachel is perfect in the role - she sounds amazing, has this sweet, innocent whimsy to her that reads really well onscreen. I honestly think she's just had the shittiest luck with film roles (her West Side Story debut was rattled with controversy due to Ansel Egort, then the Shazam sequel bombed for a lot of reasons but mostly due to Zachary Levi turning out to be a total asshole). I know she's currently doing some London theater now (also plagued by controversy because she sings the big number to the street crowd, which I actually think is super, duper cool!), but she has nothing listed for upcoming film projects which is concerning. I hope she gets something else soon that can focus on her talent and not controversy. The song "Waiting on a Wish" is really pretty. And I just like the story of Snow White a lot - I always imagined that if I got lost in the woods all the wild animals and creatures would lead me to safety and be my friends. A bear would definitely not eat me. 

5. Echo Valley - I never even heard of this movie STARRING JULIANNE MOORE AND SYDNEY SWEENEY (!!!) until it showed up on Apple +. That's WILD to me. A film starring a 5 time Oscar nominee (and one time winner), and one of the hottest young actresses around...and it's just a blip on a streaming service? As soon as I saw it, I don't think I've ever hit the "play" button so fast! It's Julianne Moore AND Sydney Sweeney?! Hell YES. Unfortunately, it's not great. But the ending definitely saves it. There's a strong story, and a strong beginning, but once the whole "hostage" part happens it becomes very stupid and very boring. Overall, I think I liked it though (solid 3 stars), but I think it could have had a little more intensity and a slightly faster pace. And, another unfortunate aspect is that Sweeney isn't in it all that much. She's in the beginning and seems like a co-lead, but she all but disappears from the rest of the film. Domhnall Gleeson has a bigger role - and he's great as this super creepy scumbag (he's better at these roles than the romcom roles he tries to do). While I like that the story is about this woman who will do anything to protect her daughter, I also think there has to be a limit where you say "no more" - it's obvious that the beginning is a set-up, and I can see forgiving someone for that (maybe), but once it turns into physical violence and threatens my animal, I would be OUT. I did look up filming locations for this because that lake looked familiar, and YUP it's filmed in NJ! I do remember reading about Sydney being in NJ for filming so this must have been the film (there are a ton of things filmed by the town I work in so I don't even blink an eye about it anymore). I think it's funny that they couldn't even make that lake look appealing in a film. Lakes are so disgusting and I'm amazed at how many people swim in dirty, green, cloudy water that has no current or cleaning system. Just hundreds of gross people swimming in standing water. Fucking gross. Anyway, like I said, this has a fantastic ending - sort of a twist, but it's obvious that something is going to give. There's definitely a big "cat and mouse"/"who's playing who" climax that ends the film on a high note. 

Film Retrospective Part III: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-1990)

1. From Here to Eternity - [blind spot] I know I've seen the iconic scene with them kissing on the beach before, but I definitely have not seen the whole film. I liked it a lot, but 8 Oscars seems very generous. Maybe the Donna Reed one was deserved, but the rest is a little melodramatic to be award-worthy. There's some great dialogue, but the drunk acting was off-the-charts. I like the epic romantic war story a lot though - and I like watching this all unfold knowing what's about to happen (it takes place in Pearl Harbor just before the attacks). I didn't realize how much the film Pearl Harbor was "inspired" by it (and I LOVE Pearl Harbor - although I haven't seen it in, like, 20 years?). I feel like it's a film that my grandfather probably loved - and maybe that's why I remember some of the scenes so clearly? Or maybe I watched parts of it in a film class (I'll never know). On a very random sidenote - aren't the bathing suits from the 50s SO MUCH better than modern ones? I love them so much. I hate feeling like I'm in public with NO CLOTHES ON and I don't really want to see everyone's ass cheeks while I'm trying to sunbathe and mind my business. I wish everyone would go back to this style for beachwear. 

2. The Hill (1965) - [blind spot] I was talking about iconic opening shots in film, and someone recommended this to me as having the "best", and, well, they're not wrong! It's gorgeous! But I didn't realize it was Sean Connery in this, and ew. I can't stand him for a lot of reasons. But I will admit that I don't think I've ever seen him in anything in which he actually tries to act like he does here? And he's really, really good. It's shocking! But WHATEVER I still hate him. But Sidney Lumet, though. Just one of the best directors ever - I consider 5 of his films to be among the greatest of all time (Dog Day Afternoon, Network, Before the Devil Knows You're Dead, Serpico, and, my favorite, 12 Angry Men). I loved this too, but it probably wouldn't make it to my list. Although - technically it's amazing, and very Lumet. Just incredible blocking, camera angles, and some shots are so spectacular so maybe in a few years, I will change my mind. The circular tracking shot in the prison when they are all chanting is also very memorable (I think I like it even more than the opening shot!). The sound was a little muffled - I'm not sure if that was just the version I watched being messed up (I watched it on TCM) or if it was intentional - a lot of background noises seemed very clear, which makes me thing it's kind of like how Nolan plays with sound a lot. The story is really good, but feels a little stretched out - it didn't need to be over 2 hours. But overall, it's great!

3. Shanghai Express - [blind spot] I was excited for this first-time watch because Marlene Dietrich is a LEGEND, but unfortunately I didn't love it. It's...fine. But I was very bored, and it feels way longer than 90 minutes. There's some gorgeous cinematography and costume design, though. Dietrich looks like she just killed her husband and got away with it with that face netting, feather boa, and those eyebrows! My god, she is stunning. But all of the other characters are boring and everyone is very under-developed. I had high hopes with the opening tracking shot and then the train halting for the cow on the tracks (lol). And there's some great dialogue (and a lot of dialogue about race, which I wasn't expecting. "I'm not proud of my white blood" is surprising dialogue for a film from the 30s). I just kind of lost interest about 30 minutes in, so that was unfortunate. 

4. Manhattan - [blind spot] I always get this confused with Annie Hall and mix up which one I've seen, so I honestly wasn't sure until I started this as to whether I had seen it or not. But I definitely haven't and FUCK, I love it so much. Feelings about Woody Allen aside, I really love a LOT of his films, especially his mid-2000s run with Match Point, Cassandra's Dream, and Vicky Christina Barcelona. And then Midnight in Paris is one of my favorite films of the last 15 years. I would love to say, especially considering the subject matter (Allen dates a 17 year old because OF COURSE HE DOES), that this movie is garbage, but with that opening monologue about NYC followed by the swell of the orchestra, I instantly fell in love. It's just so good. And Meryl Streep is so hot in this. She's always gorgeous, but she's like peak Meryl Streep in this. Plus, I love Diane Keaton (maybe one of the few celebrities that I was star-struck by seeing in real life - she sat next to me at a restaurant a few years ago). It's hard to believe that Allen is supposed to be younger than me in this?! He just always looks over 50! Obviously there is great dialogue because that's sort of what Allen is known for, but there are also some beautifully stunning shots (the shot of the spiral staircase with a young Mariel Hemingway reading under the floor lamp??? SUBLIME!). I think the story would have been stronger had the girl been at least 25? He didn't need to make it creepy. The story really isn't about them anyway - it turns into more of a love triangle between him, his married friend, and his friend's lover (an appropriately aged Keaton). And that would have been a strong enough story. Overall, though, I loved this - up there with top-tier Woody Allen. 

5. It Came from Outer Space - [blind spot] I know the behind-the-scenes story to this (it's technically written by Ray Bradbury!), but I've never actually seen the whole thing in one sitting (I've seen pieces of it, most likely). It's basically Invasion of the Body Snatchers but not as dark - the aliens are trying to be peaceful and just want time to figure their own shit out but humans are gonna human. It's a good sci-fi story. I laughed hard at all the screams - she screams so loud and wildly at...nothing. It's very funny (not sure if that's the intent, though). And I never noticed that the alien design is basically what Monsters Inc. copied. Overall, this is a great sci-fi movie that inspired countless other films. 

6. Lilies of the Field - [blind spot] Another film with Arizona as its location (It Came from Outer Space also takes place in AZ. Those cacti are very specific to AZ only - and I think some part of Mexico?). Anyway, this is another Sidney Poitier film that I haven't seen, and I really liked it. Sidney is so damn charming and funny - him trying to teach the nuns English is so funny. Him saying "I stands up, y'all" and then laughing is so hilarious. And him complementing them "you girls look nice" and they're all wearing their nuns outfits. LOL. He's just so charming and effortless. I don't think the film is anything special, but his performance really makes it interesting. 

7. She's Having a Baby - [rewatch] I always get this movie and the one where Molly Ringwald says "I'm pregnant, can you pass the turnips" confused (I just looked it up - it's called For Keeps and it's definitely what I thought I was watching until I saw Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern and NO Molly Ringwald. LOL). I have seen this movie before though, and it's good. I like the honest depiction of marriage - but I also think it's a bit depressing for young people to look at marriage like this and still go through with it *just* because of the social pressure. And most problems in a marriage can easily be solved if they just TALK TO EACH OTHER. Like with the scene where she makes dinner that he doesn't want to eat it and she gets all upset and dramatic about it and she says "I didn't know what you wanted and I didn't feel like guessing"....um...just ask him? Or you can just not care? I usually make dinner for my husband and I rarely ask him what he wants. If I'm cooking, I'm making what I want. He can eat it or make something else for himself. Done and done. (and for the record, my husband eats his whole plate and says "thank you" because he's not an asshole). But some couples, especially ones depicted in the media, have all these passive-aggressive arguments and constant bickering and it honestly makes the whole concept of marriage seem unappealing. There is a very telling line "yeah, you'll be happy, you just won't know it", which is very astute. And kind of crazy sad to think about. Anyway, the best part of this movie is the end credits. HOLY SHIT. I definitely have never seen them before. But it's basically EVERY SINGLE FAMOUS PERSON from the 80s giving ideas for baby names. Like everyone - John Candy, Dan Akroyd, Matthew Broderick, Belinda Carlisle, Woody Harrelson, Kirstie Alley, Magic Johnson, Penny Marshall, Annie Potts, Ally Sheedy. You name 'em - they are all there. It's very entertaining. 

8. Uncle Buck - [rewatch] One of my favorite 80s movies and definitely in my top 3 John Candy films (Once Upon a Crime and Planes, Trains & Automobiles are the other two. Home Alone doesn't really count, although I love his scene in it). Candy is so missed - my top three comedians growing up were John Candy, Robin Williams, and Phil Hartman and all three were gone way too soon. I definitely haven't seen this since I was a kid (I was 8 when it came out, so probably at least 30 years, so this will be an interesting watch). Macauley Culkin and Gabby Hoffman were so damn cute!! But, it's far more serious of a film than I remember? It's got some funny moments (like Candy walking through the crowd of teens dancing to "Bust a Move". SO FUNNY) and definitely some sexual innuendos that I didn't catch as a kid. I also didn't realize that the neighbor lady was played by Laurie Metcalf! How funny. Anyway, this was interesting! Far more grown up than I remember, but still cute. I love the relationship that forms between him and the older, rebellious teen daughter - I remember thinking she was so cool when I was a kid. Haha! A great, fun re-watch. 

9. The Running Man - [rewatch] Technically, this is a rewatch because I definitely watched this a while back while it was on tv, but I remember being really bored and I didn't pay that much attention to it (I couldn't even tell you the plot), so I decided to give it another go (especially since Edgar Wright is doing the remake this year (YAY), starring Glen Powell (hmmmmm...)), but...um...I was really bored again?! I like a lot about it though - like how it starts with Arnie saying "I'm not firing on helpless people". I wish more people in law enforcement (cops, border patrol, etc.) would say no, but instead "follow orders" (and then are confused when people call them nazis?? Make it make sense!). Anyway, unfortunately, the film is just too campy and ridiculous. And they don't get the "future" of 2019 right AT ALL. It still screams 80s movie - both aesthetically and from a fashion standpoint. And why is she wearing lingerie to work out?? Also, he says "I'll be back" in this too????!! That's amazing. 

10. Psycho (1960) - [rewatch] So, I had a really cool experience rewatching this because I got to see it in a theater! My first ever Hitchcock on a big screen, which is kind of crazy to think about considering how much of a fan I am. I literally own a majority of his films (even multiples of some). So, the Paris Theater (now owned by Netflix) did a Hitchcock retrospective and showed a ton of his films, along with some films inspired by Hitch. I wish I saw more, but it's not the easiest place to get to (not super difficult either - a 40 minute train ride, followed by a 30 minute walk or smelly/sweaty subway ride). I picked Psycho because it's one of his most iconic and the timing of it was right. And I think it was a great choice! It's not my favorite Hitch, but it's a classic for a reason. It was really fun seeing it with an audience. I was happy that everyone laughed at the right parts (it's very funny! like when the car is sinking and then just *stops* sinking). There are a few jump scares that got a few people in the audience too, which is always fun to see. I also noticed how *dumb* some of the plot points are - how he doesn't notice the weight of the newspaper that contains 40k?! But, overall, a close masterpiece - Janet Leigh and Vera Miles are great, but Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates is one of the best performances in film history. I know people have spoken about the resemblance before, but if they ever do a biopic on Perkins, Andrew Garfield is a dead ringer, and has the charm to boot! 

3 Thoughts on Materialists

*slight spoilers ahead*

1. Is this a romcom? - I mean, it's NOT, but that's apparently how it's advertised?! I went into it thinking it was a romantic drama similar to Celine Song's last film Past Lives, and that's what I got. But then I saw a lot of people complaining about certain plot points being included in a romcom and I thought "well, you're clearly an idiot because this is not supposed to be a romcom" but then I looked it up and it IS according to the marketing? WHAT THE FUCK. I would be super pissed too if I expected that and then was hit in the face with a sexual assault plot point. That's fucked. There can be funny moments in a drama! Why are these lines getting so blurred? This is *most definitely* a drama, with a few lighter moments and (some) funny dialogue. But it's not laugh-out-loud funny. And I feel like it deals with the difficulties of dating in a very dramatic way. There's this sense that this woman has to chose between love or money, which seems like an easy answer, but it's not always the realistic choice. I like the way it rewinds to show the actual relationship that happened with the "love" choice - they fought all the time! About money! And it shows nuance to both answers of "love" or "money". Which brings me to my next point...

2. Is this real life? - First, I don't think "matchmaker" is a viable career in 2025. None of this felt like real life. But I also think this film presents dating as a very black & white enterprise and I just don't believe that's true? At least I hope it's not true. Like, sure, everyone has their preferences but I think any sane person knows that it's not realistic to find someone by checking off a box of those preferences. I kind of appreciate that this film switches up the materialistic dating preferences to women's views on men because I feel like it's usually the opposite (they do show both genders in this, but a lot of the focus is on how women view men as dating options), because men do have some insane pressures too - like height and finances. I met my husband through a dating app but I definitely did not check boxes that he had to be over 6ft and make $300k a year. That's INSANE. I do tend to prefer tall men - and unfortunately, a lot of women do too. But it's not a deal-breaker? And it shouldn't be. And OF COURSE it's nice if you meet someone you like and they happen to make a lot of money, but again, it's INSANE to think that's realistic. There is a happy medium, of course. I feel like Johnson's choices in this are such opposite ends of the financial spectrum. But the REALITY is that you can probably find a nice guy that you're attracted to, who is financially secure (i.e can pay his bills and take you out to a nice dinner occasionally), and that's *usually* a sign of maturity and responsibility (I say usually because family wealth will most likely be a sign of the opposite - men who don't grow up because they don't have to). It's okay to care about materialist things, but I don't think anyone believes those things are the be all and end all in a relationship. And if they do, then they deserve to be miserably alone. 

3. Is this bad acting? - Well, yes AND no. Dakota Johnson is a delight and I love her. If she didn't star in this, it would be a 2 star film (I rated it 3 stars). But I think the other stars of the film - Chris Evans and Pedro Pascal are horrendous in this film. And one is simply bad acting. Evans is almost always bad. He was fine as Captain America, and I thought he was Hot in that movie with Anna Faris. But he's painfully bad in more than a few films. And you can add this one to the list. The problem is that the dialogue is a little clunky and sappy (especially the end), and a bad actor emphasizes this. Evans also SCREAMS Boston to me so to have him as a down-and-out New York actor is ridiculous! But in the case of Pedro Pascal - I think he was simply miscast, as he has been in several projects. Everyone wants to jump on the Pascal train (I GET IT!), but there's such a thing as an actor not being right for the role and I feel like casting directors forget about that when they have the chance to book someone big. This is the second role in a row that I've seen him in that just wasn't...right (Gladiator II is the other. I also don't think he's right for the new Fantastic 4 but I'm hoping I'm wrong). Like I said, I GET IT. I adore him - and have since Narcos. And he was the best part of the Kingsman sequel (and that's saying a lot coming from me). But he does not work well with this dialogue at all - it doesn't feel natural at all. My face was literally wincing through his scenes at the end because I felt bad for him. But the biggest problem of all is that none of them had any chemistry together. The whole time, I thought that neither of these men were right for her, so the whole exercise seems like a moot point. A different cast and this may have been another 4 star banger from Song, but with this cast it falls flat. 

Best Films of 2024 ***Updated***

2025 is flying by! It's already time for my *updated* Best Films of 2024 list! Here goes: 

1. The Substance

2. Kinds of Kindness

3. Anora

4. His Three Daughters

5. A Different Man

6. The Brutalist

7. I'm Still Here

8. The Wild Robot

9. Didi

10. Strange Darling

10.5 Better Man 

Only 5 films remain from my original ranking. And I think I've actually seen everything from last year that I wanted to see! Last year was a good year for movies - definitely way more movies that I ranked 4 stars than I normally do. Hopefully this year picks up some steam! 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Your Friends and Neighbors - I like this show a lot and I'm glad it's getting a second season. The cast is really strong - obvi Jon Hamm, but also Olivia Munn, Amanda Peet, and Aimee Carrero are all great and hold their own against Hamm. It starts off very boring though. I took a solid 3 episodes before I actually started to enjoy it. And even then - there's a lot of problems. First, I'm just never going to feel bad for a wealthy white guy (even if he loses his job & money - he still has money just no cash flow. But he could sell all his stuff and be fine. Probably still better off than most.). Second, I'm so offended that Olivia Munn is the "old" wife that gets cheated on with a younger woman because SHE'S MY AGE! LOL. Third, the entire subplot with his sister could be cut altogether. She serves zero purpose to the story. Fourth, I hate the inner-monologue narration. Fifth, I hate the opening credits - it looks AI generated. And SIXTH, the detective is annoying as fuck with that accent. I've liked that actress in other things (The Expanse), but she is AWFUL in this. OKAY, so obvi, like I said - there's a lot of problems. But, I think the main cast really accelerate the story well. I love the friendship between Munn and Peet's characters and I was waiting for that reveal to see how they would react and how it would effect them. I also think they do a really good job with the main mystery of who killed the neighbor. I was not expecting that outcome, but it's GOOD. It takes its time with developing the characters - and they all are flawed but likable, which is why I look forward to another season. I feel like they've done a good job setting everything up and now I want more, which is ultimately the goal for a series like this. 

2. The Four Seasons - *major spoiler alert!!!!* Again, I like this show a lot and I'm glad it's getting a second season. This is probably my favorite show of these 5, but mostly because I like the cast so much. It doesn't get much better than Tina Fey, Steve Carell, COLMAN DOMINGO, Will Forte and Kerri Kenney-Silver. I love the chemistry between all of them, but the friendship between Fey and Domingo is probably my favorite part. I think it's a really good set-up with this group of three couple friends, but one of the couples gets divorced and throws the group dynamic into chaos. I think they just do it very well - especially with Fey being the one who is disgusted by her friend's actions, but also, he's a good friend so she still tries to support him. BUT they also do a good job in explaining why Carell's character wants a divorce - it's not just because he wants to date a younger woman - it's because his wife has given up on life and that's depressing. I would hate it if my partner had no ambitions, or drive, or hobbies, no sense of exploration, learning new things etc., - it would suck. I feel like Anne sounds like my mom. She's retired now, but spent most of her life in a high-powered, stressful career. She does nothing now. I try to suggest hobbies and nothing seems to interest her. Anyway, they do such a good job with Carell's character because he's a narcissist and an asshole, but the audience still likes him. AND THEN HE DIES. WHAT THE FUCK?! I was not expecting that at all! This is a COMEDY! I do think it will be interesting for the second season (I assume Anne will find someone - maybe even someone they don't like and they have to deal with that as a group). It's weird that this ends with the same plot as Your Friends and Neighbors with the ex-wife having to plan a funeral that involves the new girlfriend. In my head, I was like "didn't I *just* watch this?" and yes, in fact, I did. Anyway, Colman is the highlight - he is fabulous and funny, and brings to life every scene he's in. There's also a lot of great discussions about relationship - I kind of agree about the whole soulmates perspective. I think they might exist, but it doesn't always make sense in terms of a real world relationship. I think you choose people to spend your life with and a lot of people make a bad choice. But...Anyway. 

3. MobLand - Again...." " " ". I just started watching the series Gangs of London (I've been trying to watch this for so long but it hasn't been streaming in America anywhere, and then SUDDENLY it's on Netflix!), and this is very similar to it but, like, an Americanized version. I mean, the story isn't Americanized, but it's got less violence and it's not as brutal, and the accents aren't as thick so an American audience can digest it better. It's kind of like Peaky Blinders mixed with Sons of Anarchy (and there are cast members in this from both of those shows). The cast is incredible - Tom Hardy, Helen Mirren (!!!), Paddy Considine, Pierce Brosnan, the woman I like from Downton Abbey (I'll learn her name one day). I laughed real hard when they comment "it's like being with the Kray twins" (Hardy played BOTH twins in a movie). There are some really good moments - and some very great shots (like the shot of them sitting in the booth and you only see the mirrored reflection of the two of them and then it pans to the four of them. Beautiful!). I also really like the opening song (added it to my spotify!), but the rest of the music is very cliche (Prodigy at a club? *yawns*). I think the scenes with the younger guys are really bad - the acting is bad and it all feels very mob cliche, and the episodes are too long (hour long episodes used to only be 45 minutes to save time for commercials but now they are just hour long episodes and it's too long. It drags the episodes down). But, so far, I'm invested in Hardy's whole deal (the sighting at the elderly care center is intriguing), and I love that there is a whole Lady Macbeth vibe with Mirren's character. It's good!

4. Murderbot - I can't repeat my first sentence again with this one, unfortunately. I *do* like it...sort of, but I'm only 4 episodes in and I'm just not fully onboard yet. It feels a little awkward? I don't know how to fully describe it - like it's trying to be a funny show (it's listed as a "comedy"), but it hasn't been funny yet. But the plot is interesting. And I like most of the cast - especially Skarsgard. And Sabrina Wu (from Joy Ride  - they were so funny in that). I like that the robot just wants to watch his tv shows - I can feel that. I also likes that he hates humans, but he's starting to care about this group and wants to help them not just because he was programmed to. He easily could have killed them all instantly, but he helps them instead. I also like that the episodes are short at only 30 minutes - it's easy to binge (I watched all 4 eps in one sitting). It definitely has a lot of potential - but so far, I'm just not loving it. 

5. Sirens - I'm not fully onboard with this show either - so far...nothing has happened. I'm three episodes in and it has some intrigue, but not enough to fully sustain a whole series. It's only 5 episodes long, but so far...it's just...a nothing of a show. BUT. I'm so in love with Meghann Fahy. And she does this role so well - I would say that my only critique is that this should have taken place in a fictional island near Cape Cod because Fahy SCREAMS Bostonian and not Upstate New Yorker. I do think she needs to step away from shows like this (The White Lotus, The Perfect Couple and this are all very similar shows - rich white people are crazy and maybe murderers).  I like the girl that plays her sister, too. She's from House of Dragons and I think she's the new Supergirl? I don't think they look anything alike, but they do mention that it in the series so *shrugs shoulders*. It was jarring to see Glenn Howerton in this - in a DRAMA? So weird. But I laughed when Fahy describes him as "400 years old". I also laughed HARD at the "WAP" scene. But overall, I just don't get it? The show is advertised as a retelling of the Sirens mythology, but instead of women luring men with songs to their death, it's men trapping women. The women are supposed to be the victims (like Circe etc). But that story is non-existent so far? I just don't understand what it's trying to say? Rich people are in a cult? We know that? Rich people are assholes? We know that too. I just don't feel like the show is going to actually go anywhere with just two episodes left. There's nothing to even wrap up because there's no story? Maybe we'll find out if the rumor about the ex-wife is true or gossip? But do I care? Not so sure. And the soft lighting gets really grating by the 3rd episode. AND, most importantly I do not believe that 25 year olds of today are equipped for a personal assistant job. I can't even get 25 year olds to count a register correctly. They can not handle stress or pressure of any kind and have no common sense. Sorry, but it's the facts. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Last Showgirl - So first things first - I'm a big fan of Pamela Anderson. I know that might seem out of character for me, but I also LOVE Paris Hilton, so I'm an enigma. I used to go to Venice Beach & Santa Monica a lot when I was a kid and they used to film scenes for Baywatch early in the morning. Pam Anderson was ALWAYS the sweetest to the crowds of people - fans, kids, and the general crowds. She would always wave hello and sign autographs, but more importantly - she was ALWAYS smiling. I always thought of her as a ray of sunshine. One of those people who would make your day better just by existing. I'm so happy she's back in the spotlight and I hope she gets a ton more jobs after this. The weirder thing is that I've actually met TWO of the cast members of this film with Anderson, and also Kiernan Shipka (I met her before Mad Men - she was like 9 years old and she was a very sweet little girl). Second of all, I also LOVE Las Vegas. I practically grew up there - I used to visit my great-aunt who lived there, every year growing up, and then my grandmother moved there during the last few years of her life. I also love playing poker. The vibe in Vegas is just fun and carefree, and I always have a blast. I haven't been in about 10 years, but I will hopefully rectify that soon. My great-aunt did take me to a typical showgirls performance when I was 15/16 and I thought it was incredible. So now that I've gotten all the personal stuff out of the way - as far as the film goes, it's...fine. I would even hesitantly call it good. But I expected better based on reviews and raves for Anderson's performance. It definitely feels like a Sean Baker knock-off (and I expect a lot of those now with his Anora success). I was surprised that it's a Coppola family member that directed this (Gia Coppola), but after analyzing it, I do see some similarities to Sofia Coppola's aesthetic (and I don't usually like her films). There are some GORGEOUS shots of Las Vegas. I also really love the scene in which Anderson dances to "Shadows of the Night" - her body is banging for a 57 year old, but Jason Schwartzman's character shuts her down quickly ("you were hired because you were beautiful and sexy and young" is something a lot of female performers hear once they hit 35 and are seeking their next gig). But I don't think the film is saying anything we don't already know, and I don't think Anderson does anything special with this role. And I honestly feel personally victimized by Jamie Lee Curtis' performance in this. That Oscar went straight to her head and she has become more and more insufferable with every performance since (see: The Bear - it's painfully overacted and forced). The scene with her dancing to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" is one of the worst film scenes of 2024. I wish I could burn it from my memory. 

2. I'm Still Here - I loved this for one very specific reason - it will stick with me. It's an extremely historically relevant story about how the government (or people in power) can just *disappear* someone. I'm so glad it won the Best International Feature over Emilia Perez (I didn't hate it as much as others, but it's not an award-worthy film by any means). And I don't know, maybe Fernanda Torres should have won too?? It's a tough call between her, Madison, and Moore (I think I personally would have voted for Moore? Maybe?). I don't think Gascon or Erivo should have been in the conversation at all. Anyway, I didn't realize that her mom was in this too - I saw all the articles about her mom (Fernanda Montenegro) winning awards for Central Station (also directed by the same director, Walter Salles), but I didn't realize that she plays the older version of this character. They look *so much* alike that if you told me it was prosthetics, I would believe you. I don't think I've actually seen Central Station? I've added to my list, but I did love Salles' The Motorcycle Diaries very much. I think the success in this is with how well the characters are developed before things go south - the audience falls in love with this family and the love they have for each other. I love the scene with them watching their daughter enjoy London. The children are all given distinct personalities (and are all strong actors). And then *suddenly* their whole world changes. It's horrifying. I didn't realize it was based on a true story until it was over (obvi, I knew things like this happened, I just thought it was a fictional account). It's insane to me that this is happening in our country (the u.s.) in the present day and nobody is doing anything about it? Anyway, I love how this whole story unfolds, and how this woman changes her whole life to find out what happened to her husband. It's very inspiring. It's close to a perfect film, but I think the end really drags it down. All of the "memory" scenes are so unnecessary and bloat the film. I probably would have cut most of the end with the two youngest kids as adults. But that's just me. 

3. Mountainhead - Who thought that this movie now was a good idea? It's the most tone-deaf film I've seen in a long time. It's feeding off of the popularity of Succession (from the creator of the series), but it's missing a significant key piece - the dynamics and complexity of a family. That was the part that people could relate to not the fact that they were billionaires. This film is about a bunch of one-percenters frenemies who get together to discuss how rich they are and they are all gigantic assholes. Yes, even the one who is supposed to be the "good" one. I liked Succession just fine, but I don't agree with a lot of people who place it among the best shows of all time. I don't even think it would make my top 100 shows, if I thought about it. But I think they always did a good job of dumbing down a lot of the business jargon so that a wide audience understood what was happening and what was at stake. But I don't understand what the fuck is happening for most of this film. It's like they are speaking another language - and then ****spoiler ahead**** suddenly they are trying to kill their "friend" (the "good" one). It's so hard to follow, but I think the bigger problem is that these guys are fucking losers who think they are funny, but they're not - so why would an audience want to watch almost 2 hours of these unfunny, pathetic, manbabies cry and/or brag about their money??? It's not entertaining at all. The acting is the saving grace (it's a one star film but the acting bumps it to two). I love Steve Carell. And Ramy Youssef (NJ represent!!!). Jason Schwartzman is good in small doses. But I was really interested in Cory Michael Smith because he was so good in the SNL movie, and he's really good in this too. This will likely be on my 2025 Worst List, though. 

4. Hard Truths - While I agree that Marianne Jean Baptiste is wonderful, this movie is a little...meh. I felt like it was trying to say something really important about grief and loss, but it never really gets there. Instead, we are forced to empathize with a woman who is cruel to everyone around her because her mother died. But - this is going to make me seem like an unkind bitch - people die. And when you're in your 50s you should start to expect the older people around you (like your parents) to die. It doesn't give you a pass to be rude to retail workers, strangers, and your own child. As someone who has worked in retail for over 20 years, I already know that people who treat others like this are miserable and suffering in some way, and that's why I never take their behavior personally. But it doesn't make it right. And it's certainly not interesting enough to make a film about. It's like that movie A Man Called Otto, but in that, he learns to care about people and not treat people like shit. And I don't feel like that lesson is learned here. She's just a miserable person until the end. I don't want to watch her for 90 minutes. I get it. She's grieving. She's still insufferable. But, aside from that, the acting is great and I appreciate the story of grief and how it consumes people. I think it's *weird* that this is written & directed by a privileged white guy since it's a story of a black family - centered around this black woman. It seems like he took great detail in getting the dialogue, cultural norms, etc., right, but then I also read that the cast helped develop the characters and dialogue to make them feel authentic but did not receive any writing or creative credits, so that's kind of fucked up? I think Mike Leigh is a great director, and I love how personal and intimate his films feel, but sometimes you should stick to what you know or at least give credit where its due. 

5. Fountain of Youth - *spoilers* I saw this described as similar to the National Treasure films and I don't like those movies (eeek....I KNOW!), so I didn't have the highest hopes for this. But I will ALWAYS watch a Guy Ritchie project because he's always a fun director. It's certainly not the worst movie I've seen this year, but it's super average. Actually, slightly below average because I think the casting is a bit off. I usually LOVE Natalie Portman but she was terrible in this because the role is so underwritten, but also because she's just not right for this part. Her sibling chemistry with John Krasinski is so forced because the dialogue keeps telling us They Are Siblings!! And it's About The Journey!!! These two plot points are literally repeated over-and-over-and-over again, it's almost mind-numbing. I also just don't think Krasinski is strong enough to lead a movie like this? I love him, and he's super-duper charming, but he falls flat in this. I like the supporting cast - the guy from The Boys is barely recognizable with that weight loss, but I like his energy in this. And I'm a big fan of Eiza Gonzalez. I originally noticed her in the From Dusk till Dawn tv show, so I'm glad that her career is picking up steam and she works with a lot of directors I enjoy (Ritchie, Michael Bay - suck it haters, Edgar Wright etc.). She's the best part of this movie - except that her character makes no sense and they never really explain it (LOL). Is she supernatural? Okay, fine...but she's a supernatural being who wears a bomber jacket??? In the present day? HUH? And it's fairly obvious that Domhnall Gleeson is going to be the bad guy. He looks like the real-life billionaire guy who uses his sons sperm or something to look younger and he thinks he looks like a teenager, but he really looks like a sweaty 50 year old man. I don't think that's a coincidence considering the theme of the movie. The only fun thing about this movie is that I've been to a lot of the locations they go to (Bangkok, London, Vatican City, Austria), so that was cool! 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Another Simple Favor - *lots of spoilers ahead* I remember really liking A Simple Favor - and I actually remember a few things about it! Like that dope white suit that Lively wears in the cemetery. But I wanted to refresh myself before watching this sequel and I was blown away by the Wikipedia plot summary because it turns out that I don't remember like 90% of that stuff happening. I'm really glad I did this, though, because I wouldn't have understood this sequel at all (I didn't even remember the whole triplet thing! or the incest! Both essential plot points in this). Unfortunately, this movie is just bat-shit crazy and not in a good way. It could have been decent if it were 100 minutes. But those extra 20 really bloat it - and some of it is so non-sensical (like how this kid's dad dies and they still make him attend a wedding?). The plot is just so over-worked. Then, the sister reveal is even crazier in this because her sister rapes her??? WHAT?! What the fuck am I watching? But there is some good stuff - the fashion is, once again, spectacular - the 3d floral crop top is to die for! There's a great supporting cast (Henry Golding, Elizabeth Perkins, Allison Janney), and Kendrick & Lively have really great energy together. It's funny too. But, the plot is too insane for it to be considered a good movie. And not to be nitpicky, but twins, even identical ones, don't have the same moles on their face. 

2. Love Hurts - Welp, I guess I was being hopeful when I thought Holland and The Gorge would be the worst films I see this year. This one is FAR worse, unfortunately. First of all, Ariana DeBose needs a new agent because no actor should not have this many misses so close after WINNING AN OSCAR (This, Kraven, I.S.S, Wish...I liked Argylle but she was a minor character). Second, Hollywood needs to get over the whole nostalgia "comeback" thing - the only reason that the three actors from EEAAO won Oscars is because of this, and the only one who deserved the win (Stephanie Hsu) was paid dust. But this is what happens - Ke Huy Quan was a cute child actor in a very famous 80s movie, and now he's the lead in an action romance even though he's not a good actor. It's fascinating that there are TWO Oscar winners in this movie and the acting is, by far, the worst part. Better actors could have made this work - actors who know how to command a screen, create chemistry and sparks with their scene partners, etc., but these two are fucking duds. I'm actually shocked that they released this into theaters. There's no way it passed any screen tests?! It should have been buried or thrown on Netflix. There is very little plot - it's just people fighting for some reason and then there's random poetry thrown in?! It makes no sense and it's just absolutely painful to watch. I do enjoy Lio Tipton and Cam Gigandet, though. I wish they were in a better movie!

3. Novocaine - Now this is a fun but dumb action film. It was actually way better than I was expecting. And Jack Quaid is in two of my favorite films of the year (so far, but it's way early) with this and Companion. The action is so good, but even more important - it is hilarious. Like, laugh-out-loud funny in multiple parts. *Spoilers Ahead* But the most successful part is that it pulls off a really unexpected twist half-way through the story *incredibly* well. Like, so well that both my husband and I both exclaimed "OH NOOOooooo!!!" at the reveal because the reveal is a bit of a heartbreaking moment. I'm not sure if it was obvious to others, but it certainly didn't cross my mind at all. And I'm usually fairly astute at figuring out where a story is going to go (I've taken a LOT of screenwriting classes and I used to do script coverage for an independent production company. I read about 2 screenplays a day - so 10 a week times 6 months. That's 240! At least.). I've been thinking about why it works so well, and I think it definitely boils down to the performances by both Jack Quaid and Amber Midthunder. The chemistry is instant, and it feels genuine. I also just think it's advertised as an action/romance - a damsel-in-distress and an unlikely hero has to overcome his own issues to rescue her type story. And that is the story *from his point of view*, but the layers to it make it really interesting. I'm still trying to be vague in case someone ignored my spoiler warning and hasn't seen it. It's not a twist I would want revealed to me beforehand. Anyway, I also think it feels a little different - the stakes are high with his rare genetic condition of not feeling pain. People assume that would be a superpower, but he could literally die by doing something so simple - like eating. It does take this whole gimmick a little too far - some of the situations he gets himself in are so ridiculous, but it makes it fun if you don't take it too seriously. 

4. Paddington in Peru - Not as good as the first two, but it's still cute. It's kind of crazy how well reviewed the first two films are, though. I think the second one has one of the highest RT scores ever. Just insane. They are both 3 star films (I also rated this one 3 stars, but it would rank last among them). It's also kind of crazy how stacked these films are in terms of casting - this one adds Olivia Colman and Antonio Banderas, but I don't have much else to say about this movie. It's definitely not as charming as the first two, and it's a little predictable in its twist. I also don't appreciate movies that show animals almost drowning (and I watched this not that long after I watched Mufasa, so that was still raw in my mind. It just makes me SO sad). I do appreciate that they actually filmed some of it in Peru. I would love to go there - it's on the list! We're doing Australia/New Zealand/Fiji this year, and then Greece next year, but maybe Peru in 2026? Machu Picchu is one of those bucket list travel spots that I hope I get to before my legs completely give out on me. Anyway, I did laugh a few times (the El Dorado gag really got me), so that's always a plus, but that's all I got. 

5. The Brutalist - This is one of those weird cases in which I recognize that this is a stellar film, but I also didn't love it. Is it in my Top 10? Sure. For a lot of reasons that I'll get to. But I also didn't find anything super original about the storytelling, and it's not something I would ever sit through again. I think I was expecting something a bit more experimental, so I was left feeling a little disappointed. I also find Adrian Brody insufferable - so a THREE HOUR movie starring him is just not ever going to be a movie that gets me excited. BUT, there's some really great stuff here. I'm a fan of Brady Corbet as a director - I didn't necessarily love Vox Lux, but I loved parts of it, and those parts that I did love are incredible. What I love the most about Corbet is that he's bold and takes risks. They may not always work, but I just like that he's trying to do something different. And that boldness is expressed right from the beginning of the film - with the stunning shot of the Statue of Liberty and the opening credits that move across the screen instead of scrolling up, as the camera moves forward along with the bus. It creates a really interesting effect that is hard to describe but I LOVED it. I also like the literal "hands that built America" immigration story - with the clear "villain" taking advantage of immigrants in their most desperate times. It's all a little in-your-face obvious, but that's not always a bad thing. And Brody is, unfortunately, fantastic (I'll never argue against his acting, it's his personality that I can't stand). I don't really think the supporting cast did anything special - Guy Pearce, Felicity Jones, Joe Alwyn - all pale in comparison to what Brody is giving. I know there was a slight controversy about the use of AI for the accents, and I'm not one to argue for the use of AI, but I don't really think this is a big deal? Accents are HARD and it can make a break a film for me if the accent is bad. I kind of appreciate that they wanted it *perfect* so they tweaked it using this technology. I do think that this is a slippery-slope though. It's also clearly a pro-Zionist message. I hate getting political on here, but maybe this wasn't the best time to make and release this film? Children are being murdered. 

Movie Marathon: Pirates of the Caribbean

1. The Curse of the Black Pearl - The first Pirates of the Caribbean is incredible - a near perfect blockbuster movie. And I'm happy to report that I still feel like this after this rewatch since it's been a while since I've seen it (at least 15 years). I actually used to watch it a lot because I was obsessed with Orlando Bloom circa-early 2000s. I used to watch all of his filmography on repeat (yes a lot of them were bad, and he's also not always the best actor. I recognize that now!). I've probably seen this one upwards of 30 times, at least. I also loved Johnny Depp as a child of the 80s/90s (now he was in some great movies - Edward Scissorhands, Benny & Joon, What's Eating Gilbert Grape, and, of course, the classic tv show, 21 Jump Street). Obviously, I'm not the biggest fan of his now, but I wish he would seek help and turn his life around. The trio of Bloom, Depp, and Kiera Knightley was simply perfect. The special effects are great. The score is incredible. It's a swashbuckling good time that mixes genres - it's an action romance, but there's also a bit of horror mixed in. Love it. On a side-note, I didn't realize that Zoe Saldana is in this?! I didn't connect that at all, but she really is in the biggest film franchises of all-time (Avatar, Guardians of the Galaxy, Star Trek, and this! Incredible!). 

2. Dead Man's Chest - I don't remember liking any of the sequels to this, and I wasn't even sure whether I had seen them all when I embarked on this movie marathon. I know I've seen through the third one, but not so sure about the last two. So after watching this, I did like this - it's not comparable to the first one, but it's a good time. I like that they continue to give Elisabeth a non-damsel-in-distress arc. She's part of the action and they all save each other throughout the series. There's a lot of funny bits (I love when Jack sees Elisabeth and says "hide the rum!". It's a great callback joke). Also, the motion capture for Davy Jones is SO GOOD (portrayed to perfection by Bill Nighy). I remember the character of the voodoo witch, but I didn't realize that was Naomie Harris! The series continues to cast really impeccable actors. The problem with this one, though, it's only slightly longer than the first, but it feels so much longer (and this trend continues with the rest of them). It's very bloated and excessive. 

3. At World's End - This is where things really start to go downhill...and fast. I don't know why this one is so bad because it's still Gore directing it, and it's still the original main cast. But it's just so repetitive and LONG at almost 3 full hours, which is totally unnecessary. There are SO many scenes that I would instantly cut altogether, and the scenes with mini Jack Sparrow and his hallucinations are AWFUL. It's also just really boring and it loses its own plot about half-way through. It's all just so convoluted. It's no wonder I didn't have any interest in watching the rest of the series after watching this. Harris has a bigger role in this, which is not a good thing (the character becomes very grating), and Keith Richards shows up for some reason. I stopped paying attention for almost an entire hour and I didn't feel like anything of importance happened. 

4. On Stranger Tides - I get trying to reinvigorate the series with a new cast, but it's a HUGE mistake to make this movie without Orlando and Kiera. They ARE the franchise. The chemistry between the three of them was key in making the first one so successful. And it's what made the third one even slightly watchable. Adding in Penelope Cruz is not a fix for that, even though she is STUNNING. Once I saw her, it did trigger a memory of this movie, so I may have watched it or I might just be remembering the marketing for it. Nothing else about it seemed familiar. It's not as long as the third one but it still feels too long! Also, by this point, I feel like Jack Sparrow becomes a very annoying character of himself. It's almost like Depp is doing an impression of Jack instead of genuinely portraying him. I was not expecting a young Sam Claflin. And also Stephen Graham as a pirate made me giggle. This movie just feels really uneven, none of the cast have any chemistry, and it's, once again, very boring. I feel like I'm watching one long pirate adventure story and the same thing keeps happening over and over again. It's a special kind of torture. 

5. Dead Men Tell No Tales - Finally on to the last one! I think this is my worst marathon series yet, considering I hated 3 out of 5 of the films! I'm so glad it's over. This one was released when I had this blog, so I'm positive that if I watched it, I would have written about it on here. So I'm 99% sure that this is a first-time watch, so I tried really hard to pay attention to the whole thing. But I failed miserably - it's the SAME MOVIE AGAIN! They attempt a bit of a reboot with this - with Kaya Scodelario and some other young guy that I recognize but I don't like. I LOVE Kaya, but the chemistry is lacking and I don't care about either of them. There are some pluses - Orlando is back AND it's NOT 3 hours long!!! But, overall, I was bored and it somehow looks worse than the rest of the films which is a weird phenomenon because the tech has supposedly gotten better over the years. But I think this an early version of de-aging tech and it is terrible! De-aging Johnny Depp is especially bad because we know what Depp looked like young and it certainly is not that. This one does have a more cohesive storyline and isn't as bloated as the previous two. Plus, I laughed once (at the "horology" banter). I was also SHOCKED that Kiera shows up at the end and has NO DIALOGUE??? How did they get her to do that? Oh I just looked it up...3 million will definitely do it. LOL. 

Ranking: 

The Curse of the Black Pearl

Dead Man's Chest 

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Dead Men Tell No Tales 

On Stranger Tides 

At World's End 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Room Next Door - Tilda Swinton and Julianne Moore in a Pedro Almodovar film??? How did this stay so under-the-radar?? I barely even heard about it until it popped up on Netflix, but apparently it was released theatrically last year?? Weird. But, I guess, it's not that great so maybe that's why. I mean, I liked it a lot, but compared to his other films it's definitely one of his weaker movies. It's also his first English language film, and maybe that's why it felt a bit off for me? But it's very Almodovar, with the set design, colors, and blocking. And it's really dialogue heavy with some GREAT dialogue on cancer and dying (the "fighting cancer" monologue is really wonderful, and the line "Cancer can't get me, if I get me first"). The story is that this woman has terminal cancer (between this and Dying for Sex, I've watched some seriously depressing cancer stories), so she asks a woman, a friend with whom she's fallen out of touch with, to help her die. They have a lot of discussions about life, motherhood, dying, etc., but nothing really happens. I thought that there would be a mix-up with the medications or that maybe she was setting her up to make it look like she murdered her...or something? It just keeps alluding to something darker happening, but it never does. It's still good, though. And Swinton's death outfit is INCREDIBLE. I, too, would like to die peacefully by a pool in a lime colored suit with matching sandals. Also, I laughed really hard when Swinton's character's daughter shows up and it's played by....Tilda Swinton. Only Tilda can play a mother and her own daughter in the same movie. LOL. 

2. Havoc - This was...fine. It was exactly what I was expecting and sometimes that's not a bad thing. I like this cast, and I liked The Raid, obviously. I think this is Gareth Evans trying to recreate that energy, but that's a lot to live up to. Action-wise, I think it's very sleek and has some great sound design. There are some sequences that are brilliant, like the way the camera follows the guy going though the window and then whips back in with him. Just incredible! And some of the kills are brutal. Tom Hardy is made for roles like this. Ditto for Timothy Olyphant (although I think he's earned star status by now! Why is he still doing supporting roles?). Forrest Whitaker goes a bit too camp, but otherwise I think the supporting cast is fine. But, I think the story is very lacking and a little convoluted. And there's a lot of pieces to it to make is seem like it's way more complicated than it is. It goes in so many directions that it loses its own plot about 1/2 way through. Overall, though, it is an entertaining and well-executed action movie (but it's not even close to The Raid). 

3. Last Breath - The true story to this is fascinating, but it's also, like 30 minutes of a story stretched into a 90 minute movie. I wasn't aware of the story before, and spent a little time researching the real story, so that's always a win. And the movie is exactly what you would expect for a movie about a guy trapped underwater and a group of people trying to rescue him. It was interesting to see all the different options they tried (they were literally going to use an arcade type grabbing arm at one point. LOL), but it gets boring really quickly. And the fact that they actually don't know how he survived is probably the most interesting part and they barely even mention it until the end. HE SURVIVED FOR 30 MINUTES TRAPPED UNDERWATER WITH NO OXYGEN?! HUH??? HOW??? And how have we not figured it out since (it happened 13 years ago! Nobody has figured it out yet? Obviously it has something to do with the pressure underwater - but wouldn't that be a great scientific advancement to survive without oxygen for 30 minutes? Isn't that something we want to know how to do? Especially for deep sea divers and space exploration?). ANYWAY, the cast is a little lacking - I love Woody Harrelson, but he gives nothing in this. And Finn Cole is completely unmemorable. Simu Lui is a very one-note character. It's all very dull. And then it ends with him showing up at home and being like "I almost died", as if his wife wasn't notified about it already? How rude!

4. Azrael - I watched this for my girl, Samara Weaving, but it's...not good. I like some things about it, but overall, it's a dud. I probably would never have watched this if it weren't for Samara - it's just not my type of horror film. But I think she does an incredible job - especially with there being no dialogue (which I didn't know about beforehand - and it's very jarring). You can still feel her exhaustion and desperation in every scene, but it's very hard to follow. I didn't really understand what was going on - I think a group of people are after her to sacrifice her for...some reason? And I think it takes place during the apocalypse, maybe? They really don't give you much information and the movie just starts with her running through the forest. There's really not much else to say? I do like that Samara continues her legacy of being absolutely covered in blood at some point in every movie. I can't wait for Ready or Not: Here I Come - what a cast!! David Cronenberg??! SMG!!! & Elijah Wood?! YES! I'm so ready. 

5. Black Bag - I'm AMAZED at the reviews for this because I think it's one of Soderberg's worst films. I was BORED TO DEATH. First of all, what happened to Soderberg retiring??? Did he change his mind? Actually, I just looked up his filmography and he's directed some truly terrible movies (No Sudden Move, The Informant!, Bubble), so I take back that first sentence. But, I stand by the fact that I was bored. I wasn't expecting to be so bored. Cate Blanchett in a Soderberg movie about spies?? And it's only 94 minutes?? Sounds like a dream! But...nothing happens. There's a so-called mystery that is being explored about who is the traitor in the group with Michael Fassbender trying to figure it out, but it's like they forgot to make us care about the characters first. The supporting cast is less than desirable -aside from Naomie Harris. The rest of them are rough - this is the first thing I'm seeing Marisa Abela in outside of her portrayal of Amy Winehouse, and she's...not good. But the worst is Rege-Jean Page. He just got really lucky with the Bridgerton role (although I also thought he was terrible in that), and he's hot, so he keeps getting cast in stuff. But he's a horrible actor. And then Pierce Brosnan shows up in a really irrelevant role? None of them feel like they are in the same movie. Blanchett and Fassbender are fine (I'm not sure why he dresses like Steve Jobs for a majority of the movie?). The worst part of the whole movie, though, is the lighting. The soft glow filter is so awful that my eyes had trouble focusing on anything. Plus, the ending is plain stupid (it's basically Murder on the Orient Express and none of it is interesting or surprising). And the thing is, I still rated it 3 stars because the movie is fine (except for the lighting), but it's WILD to me that people (that I trust!) have rated this 4-5 stars?! There's nothing here to justify such a high rating.