Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Avatar: Fire and Ash - It took me 3 years to finally watch the second one, so I'm proud of myself for watching this one within a year of its release! I'm a big fan of the first one in certain respects - I still think it's an incredibly beautiful movie - the world building, the colors, the detail is so spectacular and I *thought* it would change the course of filmmaking (but somehow we've gone in the opposite direction in which you can't fucking see anything!). However, the story is just lacking. And it's definitely not interesting enough for 3 movies (or 5 - I think that's Cameron's goal, right?). I don't exactly get bored while watching them, because I still think there's so much to look at, but it's ALL visual - there is nothing connecting to my brain at all. There are a few things that I really liked about this third installment - I like that they give the character Spider a little more depth and a little more to do. I like that they introduce a new Na'vi tribe that are the "villains" (deepens the colonialism allegory with us giving guns to certain Native American tribes). I absolutely LOVE the Miley Cyrus song at the end - she was definitely snubbed for that Oscar nomination (I think, in general, Miley gets a bad rap, but she has an incredible voice and has some BANGERS. "Wrecking Ball" is the best pop song of the 2010s. Hands down). And, of course, the film is just so beautiful and inventive - there's just so much to look at and absorb. But, it's just soooo long (I had to split it into a two night viewing). It also feels like you're watching the SAME thing over and over again. It's literally the SAME movie as the first two - even though they add a new villain, the SAME villains are still there. Also, I didn't really notice it much in the first two, but I couldn't help but think about how fucking skinny the Na'vi women are??? I know they are supposed to be slender and strong, as they have such active lifestyles, but the leader of the Ash People is literally anorexic looking. It's...disturbing. 

2. Lee Cronin's The Mummy - Oh...I actually liked this?! I certainly wasn't expecting to. However, I probably would not have cast Jack Reynor for this role - there is something about him that is so unserious to me (also, unrelated, but he is oddly extremely hot in certain roles and then completely not in the next. Like, I just recently watched the second season of Citadel and he's in it - and he is SO HOT in it. But I find him so bland in this. He's not even a little hot). So, having him in this film that, while a "horror" film, is about grief and loss, Reynor just doesn't deliver. I also don't buy this couple at all - I'm unfamiliar with the actress but she looks A LOT older than him (no offence to the actress, but I thought she was older than me - I'm 45, and if Reynor is too young for me then he's too young for her. But I looked it up and she's actually only 41, so I guess she's not. But she just seems far more mature, I guess). Anyway, other than the miscasting of Reynor and the fact that the director's name is in the title (lol - do people know who Lee Cronin is?? I've only heard of ONE of his films - Evil Dead Rise - and I didn't like it. Although the opening title card scene of that film is still one of the best scenes in recent film history), I liked the rest of it. There's some convenient plot points that aren't very realistic (like how this hospital releases this 17 year old girl in this condition? That's medical malpractice on the highest level). And the fact that he didn't open any of the letters that were sent - if I were the parent of a missing child, I would go over every single letter 20 times to be sure there weren't hints at her disappearance. But the movie wouldn't exist without these plot devices, so just go with it, I guess. It's also stretched out to an ungodly length (135 minutes!! It could have easily been 90 minutes). Oh wait, I could also do without the scorpion scenes too because they terrify me. Okay...I guess there's a lot I don't like about this movie when I actually think about it. BUT, I was entertained - there's some good gore (the toenail/skin scene is gruesome) and some shocking events (the grandmother scene - I literally yelled "oh shit!!!" and then it GETS EVEN MORE SHOCKING!). And it has a really good ending. I don't know - I think if you enjoy movies like The Exorcist and the Evil Dead movies, then you will like this. 

3. Ready or Not 2: Here I Come - UGH...this is terribly dull and is probably the biggest disappointment of the year for me. Ready or Not was my 3rd favorite film of 2019 - I absolutely LOVED it. I even put it ahead of Parasite (yes, I know, I'm insane. You love it.). But I thought it was so fun and ridiculous and Samara Weaving is incredible. I don't think a sequel is necessary, but when they announced the cast that was joining (SMG, Elijah Wood & Shawn Hatosy - just an insane cast for anyone who was a teenage girl in the 90s! Plus, David Cronenberg - who is one of my favorite directors, but also I loved his little appearance in Alias. He looked 80 years old then....and he still looks 80 years old!), I WAS IN!! I really wanted to see it in the theater, but life has been crazy this year so it was not in the cards for me, but I'm kind of glad I didn't go out of my way for this. It's just a complete disaster. I thought it was a good idea to start the sequel directly after the first film's ending, because that's the only reasonable reason she would still be wearing a wedding dress soaked in blood. But that's where the brilliance ends. I got sooooo bored watching this. They go waaaaayyyy too deep into the devil worshipping/cult thing which was the least interesting part of the first one, and they forgot to make it batshit crazy fun. I just felt myself zoning out 1/2 way through and it's just so dull. It's not necessarily a bad movie - just an average 2.5 star movie, but just SO disappointing. Samara is still hot as fuck though. Oh...also this poster is such garbage??? It looks like a Marvel movie with all of those characters everywhere. LOL. 

4. Voicemails for Isabelle - Cute movie! Problematic, for sure, but cute!! I think Zoey Deutch is adorable, and ditto for Nick Robinson. They have really great chemistry and it's very funny in parts. I actually laughed quite a bit in the beginning (the guy who cums from a kiss. LOL. The "it's not pink eye" "fake news" part. HAHA! and the "don't touch my hair" all got me). But the problematic part is pretty obvious once you realize what the plot is - her sister dies, she leaves her dead sister voicemails as part of a coping mechanism/grieving process, but her sister's phone number was reassigned to a (conveniently hot) guy. The second I realized he was going to use these voicemails as a way to get close to her and manipulate her, I could not root for him, unfortunately. It's unforgivable. The whole thing is very predictable and another case of a 90 minute concept being stretched into a 2 hour movie. And they did this whole very serious chef competition thing in that movie with Florence Pugh having cancer (it was dumb then and it's still dumb). BUT *spoilers ahead* the ending for this movie makes this 2.5 star average romcom into a satisfying 3 star LOVE STORY because there is a very emotional scene featuring the song "Dancing On My Own" by Robyn. The song is an important memory she has with her sister and is featured a few times in the movie, so the moment it starts playing at the end, I thought "OMG if he gets up and dances with her I WILL CRY" and HE DOES and I DID and it is SO GOOD and cathartic and it's been so long since I've had a good cry like that. Although her shirt throws me off - do 30 year olds even know who No Doubt is??? Or is she wearing it ironically like how teenagers wear Nirvana t-shirts? Hmm...? Anyway, perfect scene. No notes. 

5. The Long Walk - I really liked this - there's an interesting, very intense plot that feels different (of course it's a Stephen King story - just a genius storyteller. I'm a little thrown off by his stubbornness in politics recently though - like, clearly the guy with the nazi tattoo who is being accused of sexual assault is not the guy Democrats should put their support behind. I feel like that is obvious?? I feel like King just doesn't want to admit that he's wrong and that is super frustrating), and some really topnotch acting. It was announced recently that David Jonsson is going to be the new Black Panther, and if you are unfamiliar with him, then I highly recommend watching this (or Rye Lane or Alien: Romulus). I'm not as big on Cooper Hoffman, but I think he's still very young and learning (he's only 23 and I think expectations for him to be as versatile as his dad was are very heavy). The oddest part of this movie is that I think they are all supposed to be teenagers (Jonsson is 32 👀)??? The only believable teenager is Roman Griffin Davis and *spoiler* he's not in it for very long. Anyway, this is kind of like Hunger Games/Battle Royale mixed with Squid Game and The Running Man, but instead of fighting or trying to win a game, they just have to walk. A lot. But I think because they are *just* walking, it gives this group an opportunity to form really close bonds and work together as a unit instead of an "every man for themselves" type of situation. They truly do try to help each other because the other option is death. And even though they want to "win" they also don't want others to die. And you especially do not want the two main characters (Jonsson and Hoffman) to die - they do a really good job of making you really care about both of them equally. Once Hoffman gives his reason for joining the walk I thought I knew how it was going to end, but I was actually wrong - and the actual ending is SO much better. I do think casting Mark Hamill in a pivotal role was the biggest mistake - completely takes you out of the movie. But otherwise, I think this film is very good.