Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Hoppers - This whole post is going to be pretty short & sweet because I'm really behind on my posts (and movie watching in general), and I have too much going on in my personal life to put any effort into writing (although I rarely put effort into writing these dumb posts - CLEARLY!). This movie is really cute, and not what I was expecting at all. It's called Hoppers and it was released around Easter, so I assumed it was about bunnies and Easter themed LOL, and it is not about that at all. There's actually a very cute plot about an experimental procedure that involves transferring a human mind into an animal in order to communicate with them. It's an animated body-swap story, and I think it's a great story for kids because as a child that was definitely a dream of mine - to communicate with animals. It starts off kind of sad though (I guess most kids movies do?). First of all, the whole classroom animals thing was not a thing for me and THANK GOD because I would have released them all too! The problem is that I could not stop thinking about the poor sad turtle she releases the entire time! I was like "what happened to the sad turtle?!" for the WHOLE MOVIE. But anyway, it's a really cute story about nature vs technology and how we can reconcile the two and live peacefully while still advancing as a human race. There are some very funny parts too - the talk to text scene is hilarious, but my favorite part of the whole movie is the tiny dragonfly randomly flying by saying "hey" with a really deep unexpected voice. It made me laugh for like an hour. There's a really great voice cast - Jon Hamm, Dave Franco, Meryl Streep (!!), etc. It's really cute and funny, and that's all I ask for with a kids animated movie. 

2. We Bury the Dead - First of all, why are so many movies nowadays taking place in Australia??? I'm not doing it on purpose, I swear, but I feel like every movie I watch was either filmed in Australia or takes place there. So weird! Second, I really want to like Daisy Ridley but so far...she's so meh. She's been good in a few things (the Star Wars movies, Young Woman and the Sea), but mostly...meh. She's fine in this, but I didn't even realize she was supposed to be American until someone yelled "fucking Yank" at her. Hahaha!!! I was confused and looked it up to see what nationality she was supposed to be because she doesn't seem to hide her accent at all. Her nationality is also somewhat irrelevant so they could have just made her English? I'll never understand why movies do this. Anyway, I do really like the different take on the zombie movie - it's not really a zombie movie at all, but a drama that takes place during a zombie event (there was another movie like this that I think was a foreign film but it was about people grieving their loved ones who have turned into zombies). It's weird that they phrase it as the humans "coming back online" instead of "coming back to life" though?? It makes it seem like they weren't humans to begin with (I honestly thought it might be a twist or something - like the ones that come back to life are actually aliens or robots? NOW THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MOVIE!). The film definitely goes to unexpected places, which I appreciate, but overall, I was a bit bored by it. And it feels extremely long - I paused it after 40 minutes thinking it was almost over. It's only 94 minutes long so the length isn't the problem; it's the pacing.  

3. Pose - This might be one of the worst movies I've ever seen, and that is not hyperbole, unfortunately. If you know me or read this blog, then you know how much I love James McAvoy, so this really, really pains me to say. BUT, I'll also say that McAvoy is obviously innocent. He's great in this, and I'm sure the script was better than whatever the Hell this turned into. I also think he's kind of in this experimental phase of his career which I don't mind (he did that Covid related one, and the movie that was mostly improv - both of which I liked but don't remember the names of....). I had not heard of this movie, which is weird because I usually make a note of all McAvoy's projects, but my husband pointed it out to me ("did you already watch that new James McAvoy movie that's on Prime?" I assumed it was an old movie, but it wasn't! It was this!). But now I completely understand why - it's just awful. I don't even want to look it up, but I'm pretty sure a lot of this was improvised too. The problem is that there is no real plot. Just a group of people staying in a house obsessed with wanting to take photographs. There's this hint of something really devious going on, but it never quite goes anywhere. There's a lot of weird film techniques that don't work. The sound sounds really muffled at some points (maybe on purpose?), and there is dialogue layered over a scene with two people talking to each other (but it's heard as a voice over for seemingly no purpose at all other than being weird). I rated it 1.5 stars for these 3 reasons: Plus 1 star for James McAvoy (he looks really good and it starts with him shirtless. Thank you very much). Plus 1 star for a James McAvoy sex scene (I feel like it's been a really long time?!). Minus 1/2 a star for including an orgy scene but FILMING IT WEIRDLY! But that 1.5 stars is very generous. It's literally a 0 star movie. 

4. Jack Ryan: Ghost War - (real title: Tom Clancy's Jack Ryan: Ghost War is DUMB) This is fine. I watched the Jack Ryan tv show, and I would also describe it as "fine". John Krasinski is charming in the title role, it's entertaining, sometimes suspenseful (but mostly predictable), and overall just "fine". Solid 3 stars. I watched all 4 seasons though, and ask me if I remember a single plot point??? NOPE. I also don't really remember what the plot of this was (I watched it a month ago), but that's mostly because I lost the plot while watching it. It's just not interesting enough to closely pay attention. But, I still adore Krasinski, and I LOVE Sienna Miller. I usually think I look okay for a 45 year old woman, and then I see someone my age who LOOKS LIKE Sienna Miller and I quickly change my mind. How is she that gorgeous still?? And it's insane that she just had a baby too (I would end it all if I got pregnant at 45. I'm not even joking. Fucking kill me - that's literally the worst thing I could think of at this point in my life). Anyway, there's a great chase scene that turns into a great gunfire shootout scene, and Wendell Pierce is always entertaining. But this is definitely a skippable movie (especially if you've never watched the series). 

5. They Will Kill You - I wish I liked this more - it has an original plot, some excellent fight scenes, and a terrific lead. But I lost interest very quickly. But the good stuff first: Zazie Beetz is A STAR. She's been terrific in everything I've seen her in (special shoutout to Atlanta and The Harder They Fall), and she is probably the only reason I would recommend this movie to anyone. There are a few great scenes (the eyeball one in particular), and some interesting action sequences. But that's really it. I *like* all of the supporting actors, but most aren't given enough to do - especially Myha'la. She's also A STAR, but unfortunately is completely sidelined in this (side note: I might start watching Industry soon? The cast has me intrigued...). And Heather Graham jump scare! It's just very random casting of the "weird" characters. The plot doesn't really make sense (but I also wasn't paying enough attention to it because it's BORING). She's saving her sister from an immortal satanic cult...I think? But I think the biggest mistake is that there is no character development at all (back story does not equal character development), so I don't really care at all what happens to anyone. OH WAIT...the biggest mistake is having Patricia Arquette do an Irish accent. MY GOD. It's horrific.