Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Christy - I want to preface this with the fact that I actually like Sydney Sweeney, but her acting in this is atrocious. I thought it might be her worst performance to date, but then I watched The Housemaid a few days later and Jesus Christ?! What happened to her? I'll talk more about that movie below, but I'm kind of in shock at how bad she is because I think she's great on Euphoria (although I hate her character and the writing for that show), and gives really solid performances in Immaculate, The Voyeurs, The White Lotus, and Reality. There are a few things that I don't like her in (Madam Webb, Anyone But You), but I thought it was a product of miscasting. But now I'm just questioning whether she can act? I still appreciate that she seems to want to challenge herself, and I'm definitely not trying to hate on her. I think a lot of people, women in particular, hate on her because she has a banging body and that's just misogyny (and jealousy). Plain and simple. And I think she's assumed to be MAGA? But, sorry if this shocks you, a lot of rich white American women are (they just might be quieter about it). Also, on a side note, I was not prepared for the hairstyle switch to those braids. Anyway, I think the acting in this, in general, is quite bad - even Merritt Wever (and I'm a big Merritt Wever fan - still my favorite speech ever "gotta go, bye!"). Ben Foster can get in the bin (can't stand the whole method acting nonsense especially if it means treating your co-workers like shit). And Ethan Embry is playing her DAD?! I'm so old! Other than the acting, this is just a fairly basic biopic. It's from point A to point B, and it's all very dull. I don't know who this real life person is (I don't follow boxing), so I didn't realize how it was going to end - *spoiler* she tries to leave her husband so he stabs her several times and then shoots her. JESUS CHRIST! How awful. But I kind of hate how films about domestic abuse end with the abuse, especially since Christy lived. I would have rather seen her overcoming this incident - the strength she had to find to survive, and how she became a role model for queer athletes, etc. would have been far more interesting. Instead this is all left as an after thought. 

2. Send Help - *major spoilers ahead* I liked this movie even though I don't think it's as good as some reviews suggest. It's a solid revenge thriller though and Rachel McAdams and Dylan O'Brien are brilliant in it. I think I've mentioned it before but O'Brien looks so much like my ex-boyfriend, it's actually kind of weird. As he gets older he looks more and more like him (although, I haven't seen my ex in over 15 years so I have no idea what he looks like now). Anyway, I think Sam Raimi made a very entertaining, somewhat original movie here that has some really funny parts, some intense moments, a good amount of gore etc., but it's also a bit stupid. And it's a film in which both characters are so absolutely unlikeable that it's hard to root for the ending it gets. This whole revenge for women being treated like shit by their bosses (who is also nepo-baby dipshit in this) is supposed to feel empowering, but when your "girl power" character is also a murderer it's hard for me to root for her. The story about her letting her husband take his keys even though she knew he was drunk is absolutely gross. I don't care about her husband (I think he was abusive? I don't even remember), but he could have killed other people driving drunk. Innocent people shouldn't be collateral damage because you want your husband to die. That's psychotic! I just think they take the story too far. She could have just been a completely normal person who was pushed over the edge by this asshole she now has to care for on an island and decides to torture him. I would have enjoyed that way more. There's some great stuff here though - the boar scene is hilarious and then she drops the head in front of him and blood splatters. I laughed hard. I love how prepared she was for being stranded on an island - people like this fascinate me because like I've said many times, I would just walk into the ocean. I have no energy for all that survival stuff. 

3. Wuthering Heights (2026) - I was actually quite looking forward to this because I've enjoyed Emerald Fennell's previous films (Promising Young Woman is my favorite film of 2020 and I think Saltburn is a solid movie). And I love Margot Robbie. And I was under the impression that Fennell was going to make this quite steamy (I LOVE a good steamy sex scene!). I read the novel for the first time at the beginning of this year. I will give my full thoughts in my yearly book post, but I genuinely felt like I was reading it for my entire life. It's never-ending. But also quite surprising in where the story goes and I definitely wondered how the film was going to tackle it. And the film...just...doesn't? LOL. It's basically only the first part of the book, which is weird, but apparently that's how all of the adaptions are? I don't think I've seen any of them but from what I've read, it's common fashion to just focus on the romance and avoid the whole generational saga. That's SO weird to me. If you're going to adapt a book, you can't just ignore an entire part of the book??? There are also a LOT of changes to the supporting characters in this that annoyed the shit out of me. ANYWAY...while I don't think this will end up on my worst films of 2026 list, I might put it there out of pure spite because the worst part of this movie is that it is so fucking bland. The sex scenes? Among the blandest ever put to screen. The chemistry between the leads? Non-existent. I personally do not think Jacob Elordi is hot (he's attractive but not my type),  and I know there was a lot of controversy when his casting in this was announced, but the miscasting here goes waaaay beyond him being white. The man can NOT act. His acting always bothered me on Euphoria, but I thought it had to do with the accent. Like, he sounds like he's trying too hard to enunciate words and it seems like he's reading off of cue cards sometimes. I didn't mind him in Saltburn, but I don't think a lot of acting was required. And I think he was really good in last year's Frankenstein, but his performance was heavily aided by his wardrobe and makeup (and didn't deserve an Oscar nomination. WTF.). He was miscast as Elvis in Priscilla. But this is his first big leading man type of role and it's such a misfire for me. He has no charisma at all, he sounds so flat, and he looks like there is absolutely nothing going on in his brain. To be fair, I don't think Margot Robbie does a great job in this either - she's terribly flat too. There's a point when Elordi asks (in the most monotoned voice ever) "do you want me to stop?" and I literally yelled at the television "YES PLEASE STOP THIS IS SO FUCKING BORING". On a positive note - I like the girl who plays Isabella. She was also in the series Task that I recently watched and she is GREAT in it! And, of course, I love seeing Owen Cooper as a young Heathcliff! He's so adorable. He's going to be a big star (I hope he has someone looking out for him!). And on a side note that's related to the terribly boring sex scenes. I recently rewatched Lady Chatterley's Lover (2022) (because I'm doing a deep dive into Jack O'Connell's filmography. Obvi!) and if you want to see actual hot and steamy sex scenes in a period romance then this is a great example. 

4. Dust Bunny - My husband picked this movie and I'm glad that he did! I had never heard of it but as soon as I saw Mads Mikkelsen's name I certainly wasn't going to turn it down. And then we started watching it and I was really digging this whimsical horror fairytale vibe that felt extremely familiar so it made complete sense to me when I googled it to realize that it's a BRYAN FULLER FILM!!! The genius behind two of my all-time favorite series, Pushing Daisies and Dead Like Me (yes, Hannibal is fantastic too, but not among my favorites). I had no idea he was making movies now! And reuniting with Mads?! How was this not a bigger story among film nerds? This is why I sometimes miss Twitter because I truly feel like I miss out on so much movie news even though I follow only film/tv people on Bluesky. It's just not the same. I still have to check Twitter a lot to find out what's happening in the film world and it sucks. Anyway, I also really love the little girl - she is so adorable and her jacket in the beginning is SO COOL. She has some incredible facial expressions in this - I truly felt her terror and I believed her from the very start of the movie! There IS A MONSTER UNDER HER BED! It's a really fun movie, and there are some great action scenes, and it looks incredible - vibrant and stylized, with unique characters (very similar to Fuller's show - if you are a fan then I highly recommend this!). 

5. The Housemaid - This is another one that I thought I was going to like for various reasons - I typically like Paul Feig films (and I appreciate that he is bringing back the 90s style psychological thrillers starring women), I like both Sydney Sweeney and Amanda Seyfried. And Brandon Sklenar (he's from NJ!). I know Freida McFadden is a very popular novelist right now, but I have yet to read any of her books, definitely curious though! I thought this would be a good introduction to see if I like this story and then maybe I would pick up one of her titles (I don't always trust the masses when it comes to books - Taylor Jenkins Reid is incredibly popular and I've read two of her books and they are among the worst books I've ever read). Unfortunately, I hated this. I rated it two stars, but one of those whole stars is just for Amanda Seyfried's performance. She's incredible. Literally acting circles around everyone - it's almost embarrassing. Aside from the fact that it's incredibly dull and boring and an entire hour too long, it's also just really stupid and obvious. *some spoilers ahead* It's obvious that the husband is the bad guy from the second he appears. It's also obvious that Seyfried's character is pretending to be crazy in order to gaslight Sweeney's character. I couldn't pinpoint why because the why is actually deranged??? I truly hope that this doesn't inspire women in abusive relationships to try this as a way out? And then the end is her basically turning it into a business??? Like hire me to seduce your abusive husband, he'll leave you for me (reasons unclear? I guess because she's hot?), and then I'll kill him! Brilliant. *slams head into a wall over and over again*. This also features a few really boring sex scenes - just no passion or intensity at all. It's weird because this is probably a film that I would think of casting Sweeney in - this sexy seductress who is somehow also very sweet and innocent. Seems like a perfect role - but she is absolutely horrific in this. The line delivery is so off it's almost hard to watch. She does get naked though - so that's a plus (although I guess that's not even a good enough reason to watch movies nowadays because, as my husband pointed out when I tried to get him to watch this with me and I used "Sydney Sweeney is in it and I *think* she gets naked", and his response was "why would I watch a movie for that? I have the internet". The internet really did ruin everything, huh?). 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Love Story: John F. Kennedy Jr. & Carolyn Bessette - This shit is TERRIBLE. I'm so fucking offended by it. There are so many things I hate about it, I don't even know where to start. I didn't realize that this was a Ryan Murphy show similar to his true crime ventures (which are mostly good - the O.J. Simpson one and the Versace one are both excellent!), but instead of true crime, it's focused on tragic love stories. So, I guess first of all, I could tell by the commercials that this was going to be...not good. The dialogue seemed off, the acting looked atrocious, etc., but I was still curious. But, my GOD, the acting is even worse than I feared. And the absolutely WILD part is that I keep reading about these actors being predicted to get Emmy nominations for this??? WHAT? I think it was smart to cast relatively unknown actors for the main roles (but Elle Fanning would have KILLED this role! Come on, Ryan, she was RIGHT THERE!), but these newcomers can not handle cheesy dialogue. Most actors can't - only true professional strong actors could make this terrible dialogue work. And the woman they got to play Daryl Hannah is mind-boggling bad (not to mention that they portray her as a complete psycho - how is that legal? Can she sue???). And then they cast Constance Zimmer as CBK's MOM?! Get the fuck out of here! I honestly thought Constance was maybe a few years older than me, but she looks 35 (she's 56 and obviously they age her in this. But...just hire someone who looks 56?). But, my biggest problem is Naomi Watts as Jackie O. And this is coming from someone who used to list Watts as her favorite actress (sadly this hasn't been true in well over a decade. I think her last great performance was The Impossible?). I'm kind of sad that she got sucked into the Ryan Murphy machine, but he sometimes has a magical touch with casting. But her accent in this is truly hard to listen to - I get what she's trying to do, but it's just BAD. Aside from the terrible casting and the dialogue that sounds like aliens trying to be human wrote, I have a few problems with how this story is being told too. Like I mentioned - what the do to poor Daryl Hannah is sad. I think it also feels desperate - like they didn't know how to make this love story interesting so they made her a villain to enhance the drama. They also make it seem like CBK is like a fashion and business savant, like she was instrumental in Calvin Klein's success - and those are just actual lies. Klein was a successful brand way before she entered the picture. He influenced her. Sure, she influenced people to buy his stuff, as the director of publicity, that was literally her job, but they make it seem like everyone else sucked and she was the only reason he succeeded. It's a weird choice. Her style was obviously influential (and still is - when this series was being released, even my work did a whole CBK influenced styling, which was weird because the store I work for is definitely known for boho styles, bright colors, mismatched prints - literally the opposite of CBK). But I just don't think she was as important to CK as they imply. It is interesting that she was dating that model before JFK Jr. I didn't know that! I remember those billboards so well (my personal favorite was the Marky Mark one). It's crazy that the brand is still doing those billboards! Anyway, I also hate the actual relationship - all they do is bicker. Episode 7 & Episode 8 are literally just them bickering the whole time. I fell asleep for 20 minutes and woke up to them still bickering. And then I had to watch them go to couples therapy. Ugh...if you don't get along so much so that you have to seek therapy, just fucking break up! I don't understand. The whole thing is just a mess. I think it would have been better to just focus on the Kennedy family as the series of tragedies that occurred and how the Kennedy name became synonymous with tragedy. It's still synonymous with tragedy but in a different way. I'm not sure which is worse to be honest. 

2. Best Medicine - I don't really care for this show either, but for very different reasons. It's definitely a show to put on while you're doing other things like cleaning, writing, I think I even put it on to take a nap to at one point. I initially wanted to watch it because I love Josh Charles (obviously from The Good Wife, but he's also in one of my favorite shows ever - Sports Night), and I thought it would be kind of like Hank Med (which wasn't actually called Hank Med, but I don't remember the real name of it??? HELP?!). But unfortunately Josh Charles is the GRUMPIEST man ever and so completely unlikeable as the main character, it's hard to watch. And the characters are so over-the-top in this - nothing like the cool, funny, quirky characters in Hank Med. Every episode has some big "small town" event/festival/competition and everyone comes down with some weird medical condition that might ruin the big "small town" event/festival/competition. It's literally the same episode over and over again. I'm only on the 9th episode, but so far, it's given me nothing. There's a really weird love triangle between Charles and the only two likeable characters - the teacher & the cop (played by Abigail Spencer and Josh Segarra). It's so obvious that this previously married couple are the better relationship because why would I want this sweet woman to end up with a narcissistic, snobby, asshole? It's so stupid. Also, I do love seeing Annie Potts again, though. I wish it were in a better show though. Also, the doctor's name is literally Doc Martin (spelled differently than the boots, but that's all I think about when I hear his name). 

3. Rooster - I just finished this show and it's...okay. I like the people involved, but it didn't really hook me like I was hoping. The cast is incredible - Steve Carell (in a very Steve Carell role), Phil Dunster, Danielle Deadwyler (LOVE HER SO MUCH!), Connie Britton, John C. McGinley, and the two sneaky comedic highlights - Robby Hoffman, Annie Mumolo. Also, the star (aside from Carell) is his daughter played by newcomer Charly Clive, and what a casting find she is!! She's incredible! It's created by Bill Lawrence (who is on quite the run right now with Shrinking and the Scrubs reboot), so I think I was just hoping for something with a little more meat. There are a lot of funny moments, the cast seem like they genuinely like each other, and there are some complicated romance plotlines, but nothing that is really hitting me. And I think the worst part is that the episodes are only 30 minutes long but they feel like hour long episodes. I do think that there is a foundation here for a great show - so maybe it will be one of those shows that becomes really good over time. I can definitely see that happening. Like I said, though, there are some really funny moments (the "you've never been to New York? That seems unlikely" "Uh...that seems antisemitic" moment made me laugh out loud). I think it's worth watching, just with low expectations. 

4. Vladimir - This is another show in which I enjoy the cast a lot, but it's just not pulling me in. I'm 1/2 way through (so 4 episodes), and so far, absolutely nothing has happened. Just a lot of narration about how hot Leo Woodall is and daydreaming about how hot Leo Woodall is, but the actual story has not moved forward at all. And I'm sorry, but I think it's creepy for someone of Rachel Weisz's age to drool over a 29 year old. She could be his mother! I mean, he's even too young for me. I do think he's hot, but in reality if my choice was him or John Slattery, I would choose Slattery. I also think that this was definitely advertised as being hot and steamy, and like I already said - nothing happens. There hasn't even been a sex scene (??? I mean, maybe she daydreamed one, but I can't remember it - so obviously not hot or steamy). If you're going to make a show like this you have to make it super horny or don't bother. Especially between such a hot cast! Also, pretending like Rachel Weisz has "lost her ability captivate" a man's attention is absolutely ridiculous (it's the same thing they did for Halle Berry in Crime 101 and it's just so fucking dumb. Any man of any age would have sex with both Weisz and Berry if they had a chance. In a heartbeat). I'm never a fan of the breaking the 4th wall element/main character narrating her thoughts unless it's done really, really well. I think it's kind of a cheating way to tell a story. Oh...and the obvious worst part is Jessica Henwick. She's a terrible actress (and yes, I'm livid she's starring in Taron's next movie! UGH!). 

5. DTF St. Louis - I guess all 5 of these shows are a disappointment. I didn't even realize that until I started writing this post (here's hoping the next 5 are better. I have Half Man, Big Mistakes, The Testaments, Margo's Got Money Troubles, and Bait on deck). This is a murder mystery series in which the main character dies in the first episode and then we rewind to show how it happened and theorize our suspects. But the big problem is that I don't care at all. David Harbour is the guy that dies and the only likeable character (and his sign language scene during the concert is, in fact, incredibly sexy and hilarious. Anyone who is willing to be silly and fun will automatically be sexy. Period.). There's also a very cute scene of them rapping about a life insurance physical that is so funny. But the whole mystery of the affair between his wife (the lovely Linda Cardellini) and his new friend (Jason Bateman) is deeply uninteresting and the actual affair is so unsexy it's actually uncomfortable. There's a lot of porn images in the first episode which is a little jarring - and I think also feels like it's trying too hard to be provocative. I don't really care which one of them is the murderer or if it was both of them or even a fucking stranger who hasn't been introduced yet. Or maybe it was suicide and he set it up to frame his cheating wife and friend? There is just no reason given to care about any of them. And it all feels a little sensationalized and unrealistic - they arrest him on LIVE TELEVISION? That just wouldn't happen unless absolutely necessary. That automatically taints any kind of jury pool). And why is the one cop SO antagonistic to the other cop? Because he's an old straight white guy? She just has no reason to treat him so meanly - but in every scene she's like "NO YOU'RE WRONG BECAUSE YOU'RE OLD. YOU KNOW NOTHING!" It's eye-rolling. Anyway, I have 3 episodes left that I will eventually watch, but overall I don't recommend this. I do like the line "no one is normal. It just looks that way from across the street". That's a great bit of dialogue. 

Film Retrospective Part II: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-2000)

1. The Way We Were - [blind spot] I assumed that I would like this with Sydney Pollack directing, but I was also nervous that it was a cheesy opposites attract romance that I would hate. And I think both of those things are true. I love the film - it's made well, the dialogue is great, it's politically relevant to today, and I can definitely see why Robert Redford was considered one of the hottest men on the planet (although I think he was hotter in Three Days of Condor). On a side-note, it's CRAZY that Redford doesn't have an Oscar for acting (just directing and an honorary one). He's one of the best actors of his generation! ANYWAY, as I expected, the romance wore me out. I think the whole "opposites attract" thing always means "couples that bicker" in films and I just can't stand it. "Opposites attract" and "you clearly don't get along" are two different things. So I don't root for this romance in ANY way, and I think that's a failure of the script because they have obvious chemistry. But, I'm delighted that these two do not, in fact, stay together, which is unexpected for this type of movie. The end through me for a loop though - does he not keep in touch with HIS OWN CHILD??? What a dick?! I also sort of miss these activist roles in films that Babs, Sally Field, Jane Fonda, etc., really gave themselves to in the 70s. There's this whole backlash of politics in films and celebrities getting involved, but this has been going on since the beginning of filmmaking, so I don't really understand why people get so butthurt about it now (like my mom's husband doesn't like Bruce Springsteen anymore because he's too political and I'm just so confused because I'm pretty sure he was always political??? Like, what world were people living in that this stuff didn't exist?). 

2. South Pacific - [blind spot] So even though I've never seen this, it's pretty guaranteed that I was going to know the music since it's based on the Rodgers & Hammerstein Broadway play (which I also haven't seen). And...yup...I immediately knew the first song LOL. I actually sang it in show choir when I was in 7th grade ("there is nothin' like a dame...nothin' in this world...there is nothin' you can name...that is anything like a dame"). Knowing that this is about soldiers in WWII, I was floored by how absolutely gay the opening scene is. The soldiers are in the tightest t-shirts I've ever seen or unbuttoned shirts or just shirtless singing and dancing with each other. It's hilarious. I am also familiar with "Some Enchanted Evening" (obviously). But my favorite song performance was the "Honey Bun" song because Mitzi Gaynor is so ADORABLE with the oversized sailor outfit. I would wear most of the outfits she wears - I love the whole 40s/50s Americana look. This is an odd movie in many ways - overtly racist but also extremely "woke" for its time. The line "you've got to be taught to hate all the people your relatives hate" is kind of shocking for a film from 1958. Overall, I liked this. I can see why it was a successful Broadway show and film. But did you guys know that there is apparently a 2001 one remake starring....Glenn Close??? WHAT?? Hahaha! 

3. Dante's Peak - [rewatch] I definitely went on a 90s action thriller extravaganza for the next 5 movies and I'm not sorry. I tried to pick ones that that I either wasn't the biggest fan of or didn't remember well (aside from Face/Off). This is definitely one that I wasn't the biggest fan of. I preferred the even more ridiculous 90s volcano movie, Volcano. I think this one took itself a bit more seriously and I've never been the biggest Pierce Brosnan fan (sorry!). I do remember seeing this one in the movie theater with my grandmother and her really liking it. It just takes an entire hour before the volcano erupts and then when it does everything escalates so quickly to a comical degree. And everyone just does really, really stupid things (which is no different than any other disaster film). I do have a bit of a fascination with volcanoes though - I planned a whole Italy trip around going to Pompeii when I was younger, and my dream was always to do a helicopter volcano tour in Hawaii, which I did for my honeymoon and it was LIFE CHANGING. I wish someone would make an actual GOOD volcano disaster movie. Maybe one day. But this one is definitely way too boring and just plain uninteresting. 

4. Point Break - [blind spot] Okay...so I definitely assumed that I watched this movie. It's a Keanu Reeves 90s movie directed by Katheryn Bigelow! I HAD to have seen it. And I definitely remember a Keanu Reeves surfing movie. But then my husband was describing it and he was like well, he's a cop though. And I got really confused. I thought it was like a surfer "bro" movie. Not a bank heist/cop thriller. So we put it on, and NOPE I definitely have not seen it. WILD! I mean, maybe I have, but my recollection of it is so little that I have to include it as a "blind spot". And also, I LOVED IT. It has everything! Action, romance, comedy ("young dumb and full of cum" lol). Keanu is as good as he can be (lol) and Patrick Swayze is great, but I was also surprised by the supporting cast - LORI PETTY!! I LOVE her - so quirky and cool. Tank Girl was big in my formative years. But she's still really great (Orange is the New Black, Station Eleven, I'm hoping she pops again soon!). And a very random Anthony Kiedis appearance?! WHAT? WHY? So weird! Anyway, I'm floored that I haven't seen this film a billion times - it should have been on my 90s rewatch list along with Speed, Bad Boys, Demolition Man, etc. 

5. Face/Off - [rewatch] One of the greatest concepts for a movie EVER. It's HILARIOUS. They LITERALY SWITCH FACES! HAHAHAHA! So fucking good. It's so stupid, but the way they make it work is actually downright genius. And John Travolta and Nicolas Cage are both brilliant in this (and I don't say that often - I'm not exactly the biggest fan of either of them), they go with this extremely ridiculous concept with the right amount of seriousness and cheesiness and it seems like they are both just having the time of their lives. It's absolutely HILARIOUS that nobody notices that their BODIES ARE DIFFERENT. Like his wife doesn't notice that her husband is suddenly 2 inches shorter, has a thinner frame and a DIFFERENT PENIS??? LOL. I DIE every time I watch it - it's just so fucking hilarious. There is also a GREAT supporting cast - CCH Pounder, Gina Gershon, Joan Allen, Thomas Jane, Dominique Swan, Alessandro Nivola (the list literally goes on and on!). It's also a John Woo film, so the action and fight sequences are outstanding - my favorite is the gunfight scene with "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" playing. SO GOOD. This is a film that I rate 4 stars, but objectively I know that it's not a 4 star film. But I love every single second of it. 

6. The Peacemaker - [rewatch, sort of] So this is the first film I ever walked out of the theater for. It wasn't my choice - I was with 5 or 6 of my friends who all decided it was too boring and wanted to leave. As a 16 year old girl, I too, found it very boring, but I probably would have finished it if it were my decision (but that's my personality as a completist! It's a curse most of the time. I mean, I'm still watching Grey's Anatomy after 22 seasons and it hasn't been good for at least the last 10. FML!). I've always been interested in watching it in full to see if it was really as bad as my teenage brain thought it was, and I'm not surprised to find out that I was wrong. It's a solid political action thriller, but I do think that any teenager watching this purely for George Clooney will be bored (which is why we watched this - my bff was obsessed with him). Nicole Kidman and Clooney play off of each other well. And there is a good story. Also the line "I'm not interested in the man who wants 10 nuclear bombs, I'm interested in the man who only wants one" is A LINE. I would also like to note that the guy they hired when George Clooney left E.R. is in this??? I remember them making such a big deal out of this new "heartthrob" taking Clooney's place and he ended up being such a dud (I don't even remember what his name was). 

7. Snake Eyes - [rewatch] I remember this movie a little bit, and I definitely remember liking it - but I like most of Nic Cage's crazy 90s movies. My husband had never seen it so it made for a good rainy Sunday afternoon film. And also, it's Brian De Palma, so I know it's also a well-made film. AND IT IS! The shot that goes over each hotel room's ceiling (minus the actual ceiling) is GLORIOUS. It's also a very tightly edited twisty thriller. Obviously, I knew who the "bad guy" is (I actually remembered as soon as we started watching it!), but I think the twists are done really well. And Carla Gugino is so gorgeous, but also a great actress. She's really good in this, especially in one very intense scene. The only criticism is that Nic goes a little too over-the-top, but that's kind of his brand so I can't really fault it. 

8. Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey - [rewatch] I was OBSESSED with this movie as a kid (and I read the book over and over again). It's so sad but heartwarming and wonderful all at the same time. I'm guessing I saw this in a movie theater on first watch, but I remember having it on VHS (probably taped from television?) and watching it as a kid and absolutely crying at the thought that these animals work together to find their way home. And that they feel emotions and concepts like abandonment (*cries again*). The voice actors are so perfect for this too (Michael J. Fox, Sally Field and Don Ameche). And the actual animals used are so good in their roles (Sassy is obviously my favorite - "Cats rule and dogs drool" was a popular quote in my household). Even as an adult, this movie hits all the emotional beats so well - I almost teared up a few times (the end part with Shadow falling into the hole - ugh it's so sad). And I totally forgot about the whole lost child in the woods part (what a serious thing to include in a kids movie!). Apparently there is a sequel? I don't know if I ever watched it? It only came out a few years later, so I can't imagine not watching it, but I have no memory of it. Hmmmm....

9. Edward Scissorhands - [rewatch] I have a hard time with the whole Johnny Depp thing because he was such a big part of my teenager years - with this, 21 Jump Street, Benny and Joon, and What's Eating Gilbert Grape, he was literally in several of my favorite movies. And I truly believe he just needs someone to help him with his substance abuse problems - he doesn't seem like a naturally violent person and he has so many people sticking up for him (including ex-wives & ex-girlfriends). I think his relationship with Amber Heard was just extremely toxic and when that's mixed with drugs/alcohol it becomes even more toxic and led to violence. I wish he just admitted that and sought help instead of dragging it out into the public. It turned into a circus of he said/she said, and it did nobody any good (and also proved that people don't understand nuance, or that two wrongs don't make a right, or that nothing is black & white - you know all of those things that people are supposed to learn at like the age of 11? It just doesn't happen anymore). Anyway, he was always a terrific actor - one of those who wasn't scared to take roles that were different. I'm not exactly the biggest Tim Burton fan, but I do think his films are beautiful, and he goes all in on the gothic fairytale aesthetic so I respect it. This is definitely my favorite of his films (it would be this or the Batman movies). I love that it's a take on Frankenstein but also Beauty and the Beast (I would love to see a Burton version of The Little Mermaid). I also love Winona Ryder (always have, always will), but her blonde hair is so awful in this. I think it's funny that the gossipy neighbors find his literal scissor hands/blade fingers sexy because I do not think that's a turn-on for a variety of reasons. I actually forgot about the whole Avon Lady thing (remember the Avon Lady?! What a weird time...). I do still absolutely love the scene with Ryder twirling in the snow, with the camera panning around her and then pushing in. Just a gorgeous scene. Overall, I'm glad to say that this is just as good as I remembered. Not necessarily a story I would tell as a bedtime story to a child though (LOL). 

10. From Dusk Till Dawn - [rewatch] One of my favorite movies ever! It's another one of those films that, objectively, I know it's not a 4 star movie, but I just adore everything about it. As I said above, my high school bff was OBSESSED with George Clooney, so it was ALL George Clooney ALL the time (I should have realized then that she had clear daddy issues. I mean, my big crushes at the time were Leonardo DiCaprio and Ryan Phillippe - both 6 years older than me, which I think was normal for a teenage girl. George Clooney is older than my mom!). But this was definitely one of his movies that I didn't mind watching over and over again. And I do think he's hot in this movie (is it the neck tattoo? Couldn't say.). The downfall is obviously that Quentin Tarantino is just about the worst actor alive. I think Clooney does a good job of playing off of his chaotic energy, but it's definitely the worst part of the movie (if it were someone who could act, I would probably rate it a whole 5 stars). I also think I might have blocked out just how awful these brothers are - I remember that they were bank robbers, but I definitely repressed the rape scene. And the thing is - it definitely doesn't need to be that nasty. ANYWAY, I love that the movie starts out as an entirely different movie - just a couple of criminals trying to get across the border and then it turns into a full blood-thirsty vampire movie. The whole reason I watched this is because I wanted to watch Sinners again (two reasons: (1) because my first watch was mostly of disappointment. I acknowledge that the story is GREAT, the vibe is PERFECT, the music is BRILLIANT, but the film is not well-made aside from one terrific scene, (SORRY NOT SORRY) and certain actors were WAY overpraised. I wanted to watch it again just to analyze and confirm my initial thoughts. And (2) because Jack O'Connell is HOT and I've been watching all of his movies/tv shows. And it makes me so mad that his performance is clearly the best performance in this movie. There's actually an interview with the Sinners cast in which they have to answer questions about their co-stars and one of the questions was "which cast-member could nail a scene with one take" and they literally all pointed to Jack. Like, the three OSCAR NOMINATED performers from that movie just admitted that he's a better actor. LOL. It just makes me mad because the producers clearly put money into an awards campaign, but didn't put any of that money behind him. It's fucked. Anyway, sorry for the rant...it's kind of relevant). So I asked my husband if he wanted to watch Sinners with me and he said "maybe...it's like From Dusk Till Dawn, right?" and then I realized that he would probably hate Sinners, and that we should just watch From Dusk Till Dawn instead. After watching them both close together (I rewatched Sinners the next morning on my own), I do see more of the comparisons. The way that it does the same thing with telling a completely different story before the vampire stuff kicks in, the two brothers being criminals trying to start over, and, of course, the way the vampire does a sexy dance before killing the main characters (I mean, Salma Hayek's dance *might* be sexier than Jack's Irish jig, but it's close for me. Haha!). Anyway, I just love everything about this movie - the dialogue is great (funny, sarcastic, smart), the vampire makeup is fantastic (even if a bit cheesy), it oozes sexiness and has this super cool vibe, and it's just a really wild, enjoyable ride. 

Movie Marathon: Back to the Future

1. Back to the Future - I haven't seen these movies in full since I was a kid. They are my husband's favorite movies so he watches them when they are on tv, so I'll see clips and chunks of them once in a while. My biggest memories of Back to the Future are from going to Universal Studios every year as a kid. They had the Back to the Future ride which was one of those immersive 3D rides, but you sit in a Delorean, and I remember it being the coolest thing EVER when I was a kid. And they also had the clock tower as a stop on the tram tour - they would reenact the final scene of the movie as part of the tour. Other than that though, these movies were not a big part of my movie loving life. I know most people my age adore them, but I just never took to them, even as a big Michael J. Fox fan growing up (I LOVED Teen Wolf and Family Ties). The first two are great movies though! I'll never deny that - they just are not films I want to watch over and over again like some people (*ahem* my husband). I also appreciate the amount of planning and detail that goes into making the three of them feel so cohesive. Like, they really put a lot of thought into making it all work. And they are really clever - I love that she calls him "Calvin Klein" because of his underwear. LOL. I would say my only criticism is that they play "The Power of Love" like 50 times within the first 20 minutes and it made me want to blow my brains out. Also, way to take a part of black music history and pretend a white guy invented it (the Chuck Berry scene). That would definitely not fly today. But otherwise, it's a great film!

2. Back to the Future II - I actually like this one a bit better - I think it's just a big more fun and wacky, with them actually imagining the future with the hoverboards, etc. and how it's also an alternative timeline story. I didn't remember much about it, other than his mom marries Biff and she has those horrendous fake boobs that are made out of literal plastic (lol). But it's a very smart script the way it connects to the first one, and even has all of the Western references to foreshadow the 3rd one. I definitely didn't remember that they do a shot-for-shot scene in the beginning with Elisabeth Shue taking over the role of Jennifer (what an upgrade! I've always had a crush on Elisabeth Shue though - between her and Carla Gugino. And they are both still SO HOT! I have good taste, what can I say!). I think that's a really clever way to introduce a recast role - just pretend like she was always in the role and the audience is just remembering it wrong. I also love that baby Elijah Wood is in this! I didn't remember that at all. He was such an adorable little kid. Overall, I think this one just has a bit more laughs and funny moments. 

3. Back to the Future III - I'm not the biggest fan of this one because the whole Western part is just not my thing. I do like some Westerns, but the way this combines the Western genre with the comedy just doesn't work for me at all. It's all a little ridiculous. Even more ridiculous are the fake Irish accents - I don't know how I survived it (I could feel my eye twitching every time it happened! Haha!). Also, it kind of just looks like everyone is just playing dress up or, like, going to a costume party. But it's a fine conclusion to the trilogy and just as cleverly written as the first two. It's just clearly the lesser of the three. I love Michael J. Fox so much (and his scenes in Shrinking make me cry - every single one of them!) and I'm so happy that Christopher LLoyd is still kicking around (most recently in Nobody 2 and the Wednesday tv series). It's kind of funny that if you asked me how old he was in these movies I would have said like 70, but he's only 87 now so clearly that's not true. LOL. 

Ranking: 

Back to the Future II

Back to the Future 

Back to the Future III 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Apex - While I do have some problems with this movie, I think my love, Taron Egerton, and the hottest woman on the planet, Charlize Theron, both give terrific performances and elevate this otherwise cliched thriller. It seems like Taron was having the time of his life with this, and I love it! I kind of like that he keeps things surprising with the roles he chooses. He's definitely been excelling in these darker, psychological roles with Black Bird, Smoke and She Rides Shotgun, but I'm happy that his next film looks a bit lighter (and is titled Everybody Wants to Fuck Me. Okay Taron!). I'm usually pretty picky when it comes to accents (his American accent can be rough...), but I feel like he sort of nails the Australian accent (at least to my American ears - I was just there last year and this is exactly what everyone sounded like to me). But also, the fact that the character admits to being a transplant and being obsessed with the culture, it's easy to forgive any mistakes in the accent because he's kind of "pretending" anyway. He also nails the charming act in the beginning - it's so necessary for him to come off as kind, warm & safe in the beginning because otherwise the whole plot falls apart. And then when his whole psychotic murderer persona is revealed - he absolutely excels in the ritualistic noises and odd dancing, BUT it also reminded me A LOT of James McAvoy in his villainous roles (Split, Filth, Speak No Evil). I thought maybe it was just me, but I've seen a few people also comment on it (there's a LB review that said the role was "clearly written for McAvoy but they couldn't get him"). And I always believe Charlize in these bad-ass roles. She's lived a life and it shows (look it up - her mother shot her abusive father when she was a teenager), and as someone who has also lived a life, I can spot the others like me very easily. There's an interview where she talks about how others call her cold, and she finds it weird because she's actually a very empathetic person. The same thing happens to me - just because I don't show people emotions, doesn't mean I don't have them. I actually feel things very deeply. But I constantly have people tell me that I'm cold and "terrifying" even though I'm tiny, and I do understand it because I definitely don't let people fuck with me or put up with people mistreating me. Anyway, I'm on a tangent, but I just think these two actors in these two roles fit really, really well. I think this is definitely a 2.5 star movie but the acting pushes it up an entire star. I also appreciate that there is zero sexual tension between them and there is no real threat of rape - and I think that's why Gen Z are responding to it (it's all over TikTok - no, I don't have TikTok, but I work with a lot of 20 year olds). But as for the rest of the movie - it's a bit predictable, and it goes a little too far (the whole cave/gollum reveal is where it loses me completely). It moves quickly though, is a tight 95 minutes, builds some great tension, and is just a fun Friday night type of film. 

2. Marty Supreme - I don't like Timothee Chamalet (Chalamet? Nope, I still don't know which one is correct!) and I also don't like the Safdie brothers (I don't remember which one is the problematic one, but I'm going to lump them together because the other one clearly didn't do anything to stop the other from being problematic). But, I obviously needed to see what the fuss was about (and I do like Odessa A'zion). As far as Timmy, I appreciate his enthusiasm and his...gumption. But I just don't think he has the talent that someone with FOUR Oscar nominations should have. There are SO many amazing actors who have ZERO and HE HAS FOUR? It's mind-boggling. Like, you can't tell me that he's a better actor than Taron Egerton, Jack O'Connell, & James McAvoy with a straight face (and yes, I chose my top 3 crushes for this example, but it's TRUE! They have a collective ZERO Oscar nominations. Also, I know McAvoy actively refuses to campaign for awards so he'll probably never get an Oscar. And I feel like O'Connell could care less about awards too, but Taron campaigned for HIS LIFE with Rocketman and was left in the dust. Make it make sense!). Anyway, he's fine in this - a satisfying performance but certainly not even noteworthy. It doesn't help that I hate the character (a sore loser, narcissistic, chaotic, and he looks like a terrible kisser, which isn't relevant, but it's true!). The relationship with him and this aging actress doesn't feel realistic at all (and Gwyneth seems very much out of place in this world). I do like the story and the unexpected turns it takes, but I hated the whole vibe of it. It's attempting the anxiety-inducing pace of Uncut Gems, but the story doesn't warrant this pace. And they just yell at each other for the entire film. EVERYONE IS YELLING! I tried turning it down and it didn't even help - still YELLING! I also don't understand why Kevin O'Leary is in this? Get an actor? It's clear that Odessa is acting circles around everyone - by far the best performance in the movie. The soundtrack is also really great. 

3. The Bluff - I was hoping for a fun swashbuckling pirate adventure movie, but this was mostly dull. There are a few stellar scenes, though. And I love Priyanka Chopra so much (she's SO beautiful!). And she's a believable bad-ass. I like the twist with her character a lot. And I think the fight scenes are extremely well-choreographed (and are the stellar scenes I was referring to). But unfortunately Karl Urban is not hot with this look (he's usually super hot). That hair and that beard are NOT it. So disappointing. The biggest mistake with this is that it doesn't really build on the characters enough - I wanted to know more about them, but it is all very surface level. It's just boring and it feels really long. I also think that there's no clear intended audience? Who is this made for? Because a pirate adventure movie should skew a bit towards being "family friendly" (like Pirates of the Caribbean, Hook, etc), but this is rated R for some really gory violence that seems unnecessary. I don't even have anything else to say about it? 

4. Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die - I liked this movie a lot! It's a fun concept, has a great cast, and it's well-written. It's really, really, really weird too. In a good way! It's hard to come by movies that just go full weird and commit to it 100%. I think the beginning scene is very funny with this man claiming to be from the future and he needs to recruit a group from this diner to save the world. They pan several time to patrons of the restaurant but skip over the actual cast until he starts to pick his "team". Then all of the sudden you notice Michael Pena, Juno Temple, Zazie Beats, and Haley Lu Richardson. It made me laugh. I really love everyone's backstory but Juno really broke my heart with this performance. She's been so good lately with Ted Lasso and Fargo (she deserved the Emmy for that role, for REAL). It's a good example of an actress I used to hate because they weren't properly cast in roles that were right for them. I also think that Sam Rockwell is The Best. He has such good screen presence and energy, and he picks really good projects. The story is obviously really relevant with AI taking over the world and people being so entranced by their phones/social media that they are becoming pod people and don't even recognize reality. This story just takes this very real concept and enhances it to the point of an apocalyptic alternate universe. The really striking part is, like I mentioned, with Juno Temple's character losing her son in school shooting and how desensitized America is to it. But as harrowing as the story is, there's a lot of deeply funny moments ("you're like my mom's age" is the meanest thing anyone's ever said to me - but it's funny here). I would say that this is a 4 star film, but the last 30 minutes really go off the rails for me. The whole misfit toys (that are basically stolen from Toy Story) thing bored me to death. But the very end is spectacular!   

5. Good Boy - I'm surprised that it's taken someone this long to think of this concept - a horror movie from a dog's POV. It's kind of genius. But I think the execution leaves a lot to be desired. It's still a solid movie, especially as a director's first feature film (I rated it 3 stars - which means good!), but the whole supernatural, haunted house part left me cold. It would have been better if the horror was something actually scare like a serial killer or if they just focused on this guy dying (of Cancer?) and the dog feeling this death coming like a sixth sense type of deal (which I KNOW is also considered "supernatural", but I do think animals have a sense when something is wrong and can sense when their owner is sick in a way that we can't explain). But I think it's still a very strong concept for a movie - and fairly easy to make - just follow a dog around a creepy house, add some creaky noises and/or some haunted music and BAM you've got yourself a horror film. In the beginning the only thing I thought was "I swear to god if something happens to this dog I will murder someone", but luckily nothing bad happens to the dog so if you are hesitant to watch this for that reason, you are safe! And also, this dog is AMAZING! Best dog actor since Messi from Anatomy of a Fall. I'm weary on just how they got this dog to seem so terrified, but there are so many safety precautions and rules for pets on film sets now, so hopefully he's just that well-trained. The best part of the film, though, is that it is only 73 minutes long! That immediately tells me that there is no filler. Like I said, it's a simple concept - it doesn't need to be dragged out for a two hour film. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Now You See Me: Now You Don't - I actually forgot that this movie was released last year. First of all, it's hilarious that they got made fun of so hard for calling the sequel Now You See Me 2 instead of this more apt title, so they had NO choice but to name the third film this. Sometimes bullying works! Second, the first one came out 13 years ago and the sequel 10 years ago, so....am I supposed to remember them? Because I don't. And I don't think I liked them enough to rewatch (I looked it up and I rated the first one 3 stars, and the second 2.5), so I felt a little lost with this in the beginning. The biggest appeal of these movies is the stacked cast - the originals return (for the most part), and they get BOTH Isla Fisher AND Lizzy Caplan in this one!! I'm not the biggest fan of the new cast though - I hate Justice Smith and they guy from The Holdovers??? Fucking kill me. Plus, Rosamund Pike as "the bad guy"? Just a lot of people I don't care for (Ariana Greenblatt innocent - and probably a highlight of the movie). I think Pike is very overrated as an actress, and I think her accent sounds horrifically fake in this, but I read a lot of reviews that note that her South African accent is good. Even if that's true, I would still argue that it doesn't seem natural. It sounds like she's doing a fake accent. Anyway, as for the rest of the movie, it's fine. I like the theatrics of it, and that they go ALL IN on this magician stuff, but it's definitely over-stuffed and way too predictable (although it was my husband who predicted the twist about 1/2 way through, I don't think I was even paying enough attention to it to put it all together if I'm honest). 

2. Shelter - I was expecting a 2.5 star action movie starring The Stath and I got a 2.5 star action movie starring The Stath. Was I entertained??? Of course! It's THE STATH! But it's another movie in which he's a retired CIA/Assassin/Marine (take your pick) and gets pulled back into chaos to protect an innocent woman/child/bees (take your pick). This might have actually been a 3 star movie, but they make the grave mistake of *spoilers ahead* KILLING THE DOG, which is completely unnecessary! It would have made the story more difficult (on the run with a dog is impossible), but it would have made the ending that much sweeter if this girl ended up safe in Spain starting a new life with this dog to keep her feeling protected. The movie is also, very clearly, a Bourne rip-off (just minus the memory loss). There's a great performance by Bodhi Rae Breathnach (although, at a certain point in the movie, I think she forgot that she's supposed to be limping? or was the medicine he got her supposed to be an instant cure?? LOL). But most of it is very, very dumb. And a lot of innocent people die for no reason. And Naomi Ackie, once again, looks like she's reading off of cue cards. 

3. Outcome -  I think people need to stop relying on Keanu for actual acting roles. He's great, I love him, but put him in franchise where he doesn't need to talk a lot and the effects/action scenes are the focal point. I may have enjoyed this slightly more if it starred someone who can show emotion. But unfortunately I hated it. The casting is horrendous - Cameron Diaz as this gossipy influencer bff is embarrassing. But even more embarrassing is writer/director Jonah Hill casting himself as the most cliched Jewish Hollywood lawyer is so wildly mortifying - how did nobody around him tell him this was a bad idea?? And speaking of Jonah Hill, he's definitely someone I think got cancelled unfairly. I don't defend the apparent emotional trauma he caused his ex-girlfriend, but I don't think it's fair to release personal texts with someone you were in a relationship with to the public. First of all, we don't know the full story of the relationship and he didn't do anything illegal. If your boyfriend is treating you badly, dump him and move on. Maybe tell your close friends to get advice/support, but instead you tell the whole world??? That's just a shitty thing to do - and tells me that you're just as shitty as he was. I also think he did the right thing by just disappearing for a while to let things blow over. I just feel bad that that's the world we live in. I'm glad to see him back because I think he's HILARIOUS, but this movie is just a big disappointment. There a few stellar moments though - the line "you're acting like I didn't post a black square" made me laugh hard (sorry, if you were posting black squares during the height of BLM - you are the problem. Period). And the line "hating Jews doesn't negatively effect a person's career" and then it pans to a picture of Kanye West. LOL. Perfection. There's good not-so-subtle commentary on cancel culture and Hill's own cancellation. It just needed to be much funnier and have a different cast to make it actually a decent film. On a side note - Susan Lucci!!! 79 years old and still looks fucking fantastic. I love her! 

4. Balls Up - What a dumb fucking movie. And it's nowhere near as funny as it needs to be to overcome its dumbness. Actually, it's not funny at all. I can't even think of one moment that made me laugh. Usually, I love Marky Mark (I'm still allowed to call him that. He said it was ok) in comedies, but this is just horrendous. And Paul Walter Hauser??? What a waste of two truly funny individuals. Also, what a way to make an entire country hate you? I don't think MM or PWH can ever show their face in Brazil again after this? And what the fuck is Sacha Baron Cohen trying to do in this? A Christopher Walken impression? Why? it's so fucking weird?! I just can't find anything nice to say about this - it's a 1 star movie and will definitely be the worst movie I see this year (*crosses fingers*). Oh wait, I can say one nice thing - the girl who plays the eco warrior girl and Daniela Melchior are both super hot. That's all I got. 

5. Dangerous Animals - I'm so glad I went into this mostly blind because as soon as I saw this couple asking about this shark cage experience, I definitely was expecting a shark move like 47 Meters Down about dumb tourists getting eaten by sharks, but it is NOT that AT ALL. I realized that I also read the plot description wrong because I saw something saying it was a "serial killer shark" and I thought it was like Jaws in which this one shark keeps killing tourists, but it's about a serial killer who feeds people to sharks. I also didn't know Jai Courtney was in this, and that is almost always a bad thing (he has ruined a lot of films!), but he's....GREAT in this??? Holy shit! It's just proof that casting the *right* person for the *right* role is SO important. It also helps that he gets to keep his natural accent (Australian). I've also never seen the main girl before and she is really, really good. She has great final girl energy and terrific screen presence. I feel like a lot of movies are set in Australia lately?? Or maybe I'm just hyper aware of it because of my trip last year (they were actually filming something in Sydney while I was there. We couldn't figure out what it was, but we sat and watched it for a while. They shut down part of the pier and had a sports car race down and do a bunch of circles, so if you ever see that...I was there!). When I first started planning my Australia trip, every single person would respond with..."but there are dangerous animals there!", so the title is apt (although, obvi the title is referring to humans. Or more specifically men. This is why women choose the bear type of situation). But I literally saw one (ONE!) tiny spider while hiking in the Blue Mountains and that's it. It's one of those catch-22 situations, because I would LOVE to see a shark but also I would probably have a heart attack if I were swimming in the ocean and a fucking shark appeared. It would be pretty cool though! Anyway, sorry for my side rant about Australia. Back to the movie!! Overall, I enjoyed this. It's fun to watch Jai go completely unhinged. I think it gets a little repetitive and relies on some incredibly convenient storytelling, but it moves quickly enough to glaze over these faults. 

Movie Marathon: The Mummy

*side note* I did not watch The Scorpion King movies because I am terrified of scorpions and I did not watch the 2017 remake with Tom Cruise because I just watched it last year and it's terrible. 

1. The Mummy (1999) - I've always *assumed* that I've seen this. It was a very popular film when I was a teenager. And I've always *assumed* that I didn't like it - I had this idea in my head that it's poorly acted (bc Brendan Frasier duh) and the effects were terrible, and it's like this cheesy adventure film that people love because it's bad. But then I started watching this, and...ummmm...I realized I have never seen it. I know I have a bad memory sometimes, but nothing about this was familiar aside from what I remember from tv ads. And guess what??? I fucking loved it! It's actually a very good movie, with some excellent effects (for 1999). And Frasier doesn't even bother me that much in this. I can see why people fell in love with him. He has GREAT chemistry with Rachel Weisz, and he's charming and funny in a sarcastic way. I've always loved Rachel, but I just assumed from her look here that she fell victim to the pencil thin eyebrow trend of the 90s and it's HORRENDOUS. But it actually works for this because it's supposed to take place in the 20s (which, again, was a surprise to me! I thought it was a present day movie. I mean present day as in it took place in the 90s), and her eyebrows make more sense. I really love her character in this too. John Hannah provides some comedic relief. There's some great scares and overall, it's just a fun time! I don't think it's a 5 star movie (as some have it rated *ahem*), but it's great! 

2. The Mummy Returns - And this one is good too?! What the fuck? I honestly did not expect to like these movies at all, so this was all a nice surprise. But, I specifically avoided watching The Scorpion King because I didn't want to see scorpions (I'm honestly terrified of them! And if I see them, then I'm guaranteed to have nightmares about them), so I didn't realize that this sequal features The Rock as The Scorpion King, and there are multiple scenes with scorpions. I had to keep looking away from the screen, but my husband insisted I watch the scene in which he returns as the 1/2 scorpion because he said it's the worst CGI in film history and...he's not wrong. Haha! What the fuck is that?? It's insane that this got a whole ass spin-off when it's absolutely a monstrosity to look at. I can't imagine a whole movie featuring this character. It's also kind of insane that this is what launched The Rock into super-stardom (acting-wise) because he's...terrible. Anyway, otherwise I mostly enjoyed this. I think the kid is super annoying, but I can get past it quickly. I like that they give the main characters a bit of history and lore to go with this fantasy adventure. And I like that they give Patricia Velasquez a bigger role because she is absolutely gorgeous. 

3. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - Wow. What a drop in quality and storytelling. And to go from Rachel Weisz to...Maria Bello?? WHAT? I actually like Maria Bello just fine, but she's not even the same nationality! It doesn't make any sense. And why is their kid so old? This actor looks 30! He looks the same age as Fraser (I looked it up and I think they are only like 12 years apart in real life).  He's supposed to be 21, which doesn't make sense because he would have been drafted during the war and probably have, like, PTSD or something, but they don't mention it at all. And why does he have an Australian accent?? Anyway, this is trash. Shifting it to China is stupid and both Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are wasted. The effects are awful. It's also just really...boring. I stopped paying attention about 1/2 way through and I still knew what was happening every time I looked at the screen. I'm just going to pretend that this one doesn't exist and stay hopeful that the next installment is as good as the first two (and Rachel is BACK! YESSSS!). 

Ranking: 

The Mummy (1999)

The Mummy Returns

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Tomb of the Dragon Emperor 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. 28 Years Later: The Bone Temple - I don't know if I say this enough, but I fucking LOVE Jack O'Connell. It's insane that he didn't become a major star after Unbroken. I think that's finally changing after his performance in Sinners - I see a lot of love for him now and Americans finally know who he is. And he's picked up some big franchise films for next year, so I think he's finally on the A-list where he belongs! I have a massive crush on him (surprise, surprise...), but I honestly think he's an incredible actor (just like my other two massive celebrity crushes - Taron Egerton and James McAvoy). I was disappointed with 28 Years Later because I expected it to star O'Connell and it doesn't (he's only in the last few minutes, setting up for this sequel) but I still liked the film. I loved this one though. And it is O'Connell's film - he is OUTSTANDING as this villainous cult leader Sir Jimmy Crystal (who is modeled after a British media personality Jimmy Savile - someone most Americans have never heard of). He's super fucking psychotic and charismatic at the same time, and not a lot of actors can pull that off. And he may be up there with being among the best film villains of all time? And also, Ralph Fiennes is SO GOOD. I love his scenes with Samson - the alpha zombie. But the highlight is the 3rd act in which Fiennes and O'Connell go head-to-head. The entire "devil" scene is incredible and the way Fiennes leans into this persona is hilarious (and LOL at playing Iron Maiden. It's so perfect). I was engrossed in the whole film - loved every second of it only for my husband to declare it "even worse than the previous one". WHAT?! Anyway, I was surprised that the return of Cillian Murphy is reserved for the very end. Sorry, I don't think that's a spoiler as it was heavily advertised that he was returning to the franchise. And he will probably be in the 3rd one (or technically 5th one?). I think my only criticism is that some of the gore and the violence does feel purely for shock value, but I also think that's the point of all of this - to show the inhumanity and pointlessness of this world that is created. I also think that Spike (played by Alfie Williams) is a bit too sidelined. He's the reason we should care about this world and they give him very little to do. Overall, though, I'm very impressed with this - it's the first Nia DaCosta film I've liked since Little Woods. 

2. Crime 101 - This is WAY better than I was expecting. I thought it was going to be a satisfying but cliched crime thriller, which it is - but it's also introspective and character driven in a way that most crime thrillers are not. First of all, I like this cast, but I don't necessarily think they are right for these parts. I've come around to Chris Hemsworth, but I don't think he should lead films. Halle Berry is actually good in this - THANK GOD (she hasn't been good in....a while) but, to cast her as an aging woman who men don't see value in is RIDICULOUS. Sure, she's 53 now but she's still one of the most beautiful women on the planet. Men still ADORE her. Mark Ruffalo is really gunning for the Columbo role, isn't he? He keeps doing these gruff detective roles lately and it's becoming boring. But the most egregious casting offense here is Barry Keoghan in a role in which he barely has any lines and the only character the audience doesn't get to know. This is a perfect role for a newcomer to break into a big film, but Barry is NOT a newcomer??? He was nominated for an Oscar just a few years ago! What the fuck is happening?? (I would say the same for Monica Barbaro, but she was nominated just last year for an Oscar, and this movie was likely already in production - hopefully she's getting bigger roles now). And finally, why cast Jennifer Jason Leigh in your film to give her one very unimportant scene? It's all just weird. But, aside from the cast, I think this is a really good character study about the choices that people make and how doing bad things doesn't necessarily make a person bad. I was entertained. 

3. Pizza Movie - This is a cute and funny teen comedy. It's a genre that is getting wiped out (and yes, I do blame political correctness on this a bit - young people don't know how to be funny and woke at the same time so they just avoid it all together). I mean, I can't even think of the last one prior to this? Maybe Booksmart but that was 7 years ago? The Mean Girls remake? I guess that can be considered, but I think that was made for people who are older and nostalgic for the original. Oh wait - I know - it was that Y2K movie that bombed (and also one can argue it was made for nostalgia and not for teens of today). Anyway, I think this is good for what it is. It's a dumb stoner movie for Gen Alpha & younger Gen Zers. It's basically Harold & Kumar Go to White Castle, except it's about two high college kids trying to get pizza delivered. I watched this because I really like the kid from The Goldbergs (Sean Giambrone) - I think he's genuinely a very funny person. I'm not as big on the kid from Stranger Things (Gaten Matarazzo), but they have good buddy chemistry together. Also, the girl looked extremely familiar to me and then I realized that she's the girl that's covered in blood on the Becky poster - a film that I have never seen, but that poster is something. And the guy that plays the villainous RA is kind of hot?! Obviously too young for me, but HOT. He's so completely over-the-top as this villain, but I dig it. He's giving it his all for this dumb-ass movie and I respect it! A lot of it is dumb, but there are some extremely funny parts like the exploding heads scene ("it's a British drug, cunt is allowed" I DIED) and when he switches bodies with his pet butterfly (that sentence sounds super weird out of context) and he chants "I crave nectar" (also fun fact: Daniel Radcliffe voices the butterfly LOL). It's trippy and fun and destined to be a cult classic (if those exist anymore). 

4. It Was Just an Accident - *some spoilers* This is fantastic. A quiet but intense story about revenge, forgiveness, empathy and humanity. I was skeptical in the beginning because this family in the car hit a dog, killing it, and I thought "welp I hate you and I hope you die", but then we find out that this man tortured people and we're supposed to hate him. The story takes quite a turn that I wasn't expecting (I knew nothing about it going in). The mechanic who is fixing his car after the dog incident realizes that he's his past tormentor and kidnaps him. But then he's not 100% sure that it's him so he has to recruit others that were tortured to identify him. Obviously there is a lot of political history behind it - the group are Iranian political prisoners. But even without all of that, it's still a really interesting story - and a bit like Sleepers (one of my favorite films ever). It's a really well-made film too, with some very memorable imagery - the fact that one of them is in a wedding dress the whole time makes it extremely interesting visually. I love that the story turns to this man's family and that the mechanic still helps them - there's this fine line of killing a monster without becoming a monster that is straddled here and it is perfection.  The ending is chilling. If I were in this situation though, I would just let the guy in the blue shirt handle it - he seems confident enough and angry enough to justify whatever actions he deems appropriate. 

5. The Testament of Ann Lee - A few things about this movie piqued my interest - I'm a big fan of Amanda Seyfried and her performance in this gained Oscar buzz (but didn't pan out), it's directed and co-written by Mona Fastvold - who is Brady Corbet's partner (and he co-wrote this as well). She co-wrote a few of Brady's films so I'm interested in her taking the directing lead, and it's a musical! I'm well aware that the religious aspect is going to either bore me to death or anger me, but I went in with as much of an open mind as possible. Also, I have no idea who Ann Lee is (again, religious figures are not something I paid attention to), so maybe I'll learn something! Overall, I liked this. It's not necessarily my vibe, but it's incredibly made, the sound design is fantastic, the musical interludes are so captivating, the choreography is stunning, and Amanda Seyfried definitely deserved some love from the Academy, even though her accent is a little spotty. The story is good - this woman basically becomes a cult leader (all religions are a cult) after all four of her children die as infants. She thought that God was punishing her for having sex, so she started a religious movement that was based on celibacy. It's fascinating to learn how cults start and how people get so easily duped into following them. The ending is absolutely horrific (it ends how all other religious persecution type stories end - very badly). I do think that if told in a typical fashion, this story would have bored me to death, but Fastvold made such a visually interesting film that I was fascinated. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Wicked: For Good - I wasn't a big fan of the first one, and I felt the same about this one. I rated the first one 2.5 stars, which seems a little harsh now, but I genuinely think it looks absolutely terrible and cheap so I stand by that rating. There are some things I really liked about it, though - like Ariana Grande is such a standout. Just an incredible talent and such an unexpected comedic performance. She's just as good in this, but the rest of the movie is just as much of a letdown. The whole thing is kind of a dud - I know this made a decent amount of money, but it certainly didn't have the lasting effect or the awards buzz that everyone expected. And I think a lot of that has to do with the fact that it 100% should have just been ONE film. I'm pretty sure the first one would have actually won a few of those Oscars if it weren't 1/2 of a film. There are really no highlights in this either - aside from Grande (the fight scene is adorable with the witch cackle and the way she turns the wand around. I laughed. She's so adorable). I do like Cynthia Erivo too (her voice is incredible). But there are a lot of cringeworthy moments. Michelle Yeoh can NOT sing. Just horrendous. I also think there are way more songs in this one? I could be wrong about that, but it just felt like song after song, and I got real bored real quick. I'm convinced Bowen Yang is one of the most unfunny men on the planet (just unwatchable in this and all of those SNL skits are terrible. Yes. Every. Single. One.). And I need Jonathon Bailey to pick up another role really quickly so I don't even remember him in this because I love him, but these films did him dirty. That scarecrow makeup at the end?? You should have seen my face! Who on Earth decided that looked remotely adequate?? It's all so...UGH. 

2. Hot Milk - I didn't like this at all. More like Hot Garbage! I was really hoping for better for Emma Mackey because I adore her! She was incredible in Sex Education and she deserved so much better than the other 2025 Hot Garbage film, Ella McCay. She deserves a good starring role in a film. But maybe it's too soon? Maybe she should focus on choosing really strong supporting roles for a bit. Anyway, this is a movie that I can connect to in a lot of ways, which I wasn't expecting. And normally that would be a good thing, but the way the story plays out and her relationship with this other women feels very inauthentic. So *personal story time*, just like this young woman, I had a very sick mom growing up - she had severe pain in her abdomen. Sometimes she couldn't get out of bed because the pain was so bad. It was a huge part of my childhood - basically all of my teenage years. Nobody could figure out what was wrong with her and a lot of doctors made it seem like it was all psychosomatic. Some doctors believed her and misdiagnosed her with many things (they even took out her very healthy appendix!), until finally one doctor realized that scar tissue from a childhood injury and scar tissue from a botched c-section had wrapped around her intestines. She had to have several surgeries and was in and out of the hospital for months. And as shown in this film, it's a very isolating experience for a child to go through. It made me grow up a lot quicker than everyone else my age. But I definitely remember, as a teenager, being extremely resentful of my mom's illness. And I began to question the authenticity of her pain just like the doctors. I'm lucky that my mom got treatment before I became an adult and it didn't impact me leaving home (literally when I turned 18 I was like fuck this! Get me out of here!, which I wouldn't have done if my mom was still sick). I have sympathy for this young woman in this movie, but also at some point you have to grow up and become your own person. If they didn't introduce this other woman - who is older and clearly grooming her - I would have liked this story. But it becomes something else that is very uninteresting. The movie does look really pretty, and the acting is good. I also liked the ending (the way she's past her limit is great - and Emma does a great job portraying this). I just think the whole middle is bad and they don't feel like real people - like when this other woman, played by Vicky Krieps, admits that she killed someone and then they just go about their day like nothing happened. WHAT? and when Emma threatens a man double her size? He could kill her. No woman would do that. And WHY does she keep going in the fucking water if there are jellyfish who love to sting her? Are you stupid?

3. Sentimental Value - YAY!!! Another 4 star film from 2025!! Fucking FINALLY. I'm sorry, but I just don't agree with people who say it was a fantastic year for film. I can barely make a Top 10 list, and so far, the ones I do have on my list aren't even all 4 star films! 3.5 star films should not make it into a Top 10 list! That's crazy! Anyway, I love this. Movies about making movies don't always work, but this one does it well. I think everyone is very deserving of those Oscar nominations - and maybe Elle Fanning should have won hers? That's debatable. But Renate Reinsve should have definitely won. I'm a big fan (although I wasn't a huge fan of The Worst Person in the World - she was great in it). I think she is one of the few actors that know how to act with their eyes - like I can see what she's thinking without her even saying dialogue. I definitely think she's better than the winning Oscar performance (sorry, not sorry!). The supporting cast is great too - obvi the other Oscar nominees Stellan Skarsgard & Inga Ibsdotter Lilleaas - but also Cory Michael Smith, and Anders Danielsen Lie (I love him!). I think this film accomplishes something that Jay Kelly was trying to accomplish by showing this aging filmmaker reflect on his career and deal with the consequences of being famous and how that effected his relationships with his children. It questions the idea of "legacy". But also on a smaller scale it deals with human emotions (and how nonsensical these emotions can be sometimes) and the idea of finding meaning in objects that hold memories - I absolutely LOVE how she describes her house. It becomes a character of its own, and it's just a gorgeous sentiment that feels like a poem. I wish the movie were shorter - because it starts to drag. 100 minutes, and it might have been close to perfect. 

4. Primate - This is basically Cujo? The only difference is that Cujo is about a mother and her son - and you clearly don't want them to die by horrifically being attacked by a rabid dog, while this one is about a bunch of squealing young women who are annoying as fuck so you want them to die instantly. Like, fucking attack them you adorable little chimp. Rip their fucking heads right off! DO IT! Haha! I'm sort of kidding. My point is that I really didn't give a shit about these girls so there's nothing at stake. It's also annoying that they all look the same, too. I don't know which one is the annoying friend, the good friend, the main girl and the sister. They're all identical - none are given personalities except that one is "annoying", but if you find all Gen Zers annoying then you won't notice a difference between their levels of annoying. I love that Troy Kotsur is in this, though. He obviously deserves a better film, but I love that he is showing that someone with a hearing disability can still be in films that aren't about having a hearing disability (also, he was so good in the Netflix show Black Rabbit - hard to believe that performance went unnoticed. I thought for sure he would have been an Emmy front-runner). There's a lot of dumb stuff that is hard to reconcile - like, you didn't tell your friends that you have a pet chimp before they arrived at your house? And why would this group of guys WALK INTO SOMEONE ELSE'S HOUSE when it's dark and it looks like nobody is home??? That's breaking & entering! The chimp has the right to kill you! The only positive (aside from Kotsur) is that there is some good gore, but it's so fucking dark in some parts. I would like to SEE the gore, please! 

5. Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice - I'm SHOCKED by the positive reviews I read for this movie. I mean, someone I trust a lot with movie reviews rated it FOUR fucking stars!! Insane! It's terrible! The acting? terrible! The plot? Fucking stupid. The soundtrack? So extremely random that it doesn't even make sense (rave music during a fight scene and then Papa Roach during another one? An Oasis sing-along? What is happening?). Also, the title?? Get the fuck out of here with this dumbass title! It's also 2 hours long when it should be 100 minutes (most movies should be 100 minutes!). It's not funny in the slightest (I laughed once at the "Ur in danger girl" text, but I'm not sure if the Ghost reference was done on purpose). I love James Marsden (everyone watch Jury Duty please!) and Eiza Gonzalez, but I also really love Jimmy Tatro, and he's completely wasted in this. Someone needs to write him a comedy STAT. I'm a fan of Vince Vaughn too, but I think it's widely agreed that he can become grating if there's too much of him (because he does the same character in every project) and this is a DOUBLE DOSE of Vince Vaughn so that's...something else. It's like max irritation level annoying. I do like the sci-fi plot mixed in with this gangster drama - it's, at the very least, original. But it's just badly executed and it feels like it's trying too hard be funny and it fails.