Thoughts on the Past 2 'Glee' Episodes

1. Yes/No

The proposal (not the “surprise” one) – Any fan of Glee knew that this was the big Will and Emma proposal episode. I, for one, miss Terri – sure she was a crazy shrew but she was far more entertaining than Will and Emma’s entire relationship so far. She would bring back some much needed humor to the show (instead of all this emotional garbage…). As the voice over intro for the episode states: Terri "pretended to be pregnant, she yelled a lot and she hated the Glee club”. Sounds awesome…right? Anyway, for some reason, Will needs the help of the Glee club to come up with an epic proposal (sure, that is an appropriate assignment for a high school Glee club) and they all give some pretty awful input. If anyone proposed to me with a 'Moves Like Jagger', I think I would stab them with something very sharp (like a knife…). Unfortunately, this song wasn’t that much worse than what he decided to go with - 'We Found Love' (you know that awful Rihanna song that plays on the radio every 10 minutes). Sam’s brilliant idea was to perform the song while the Glee club did a synchronized swimming routine. Not only did it have zero relevance to Will and Emma’s relationship, it was also super cheesy and ridiculous. The fact that Finn brought Rachel to the auditorium (where they had their first date) and made the proposal intimate and genuine kinda made Will look like a jackass. Right? Speaking of….

The big “twist” – I had read a lot about a big “twist” at the end of this episode that would be a “game changer” and I also read that Finn gets bad news from his mother. When I put 2 & 2 together (and noting that the episode preview showed Finn telling Will that he is considering going into the Army) – I assumed the big “twist” was that Finn’s father didn’t die and that the “game changer” would be that Finn wants to find him. I think this would have been a better twist than what we actually got. I was sort of right about his father except that he is actually dead but he died from a drug overdose instead of a “hero’s death”. The game changer is that Finn re-assess his life after this news and realizes that the only thing that he has that is “special” in his life is Rachel….so he proposes. First, we all know that Finchel is endgame so this doesn’t really come as a big surprise. Second, it doesn’t change anything about the show….like at all. Third, (I will leave my thoughts on marriage and how it should be de-legalized for another time) I certainly don’t think it is a good idea for someone who is struggling finding himself (which I think is related to his young age…but I don’t think “age” is really the issue because I actually don’t think it is as bad of an idea for Rachel (she has a strong personality, has a passion and not only knows who she is but who she wants to become). I really want Finn to have a passion for something and to find something he is good at (ahem….DRUMS….ahem…cough…cough) before he makes such a big commitment to someone (as I do for EVERYONE). That being said, Cory Monteith once again proved himself to be Glee’s most valued (and underrated) player. He seriously killed me in the scene with his mother because he didn’t overdo it – instead he internalized the pain of learning that his father was not the man he had imagined. It was really moving to watch and I know I pretty much repeat myself every time I write about Glee so I will stop (until the next time…of course).

The Highlights – Freakin’ Helen Mirren as Becky’s inner monologue was one of the most genius things Glee has ever done. As was Becky’s interest in Artie – I think it is a hard storyline to make work and they did a good job (and a heartbreaking one). Her entire monologue in the beginning was laugh out loud funny (like how she doesn’t want Mike because she is “no rice queen”). Sue was seriously amazing at the end trying to comfort her (“you and I are going to get through this together”). There were a lot of little moments in this episode that were done really well – like when the girls sing ‘The First Time I Saw Your Face’ and Rachel thinking of Finn walking down the hall with his football buddies and then HE LOOKS BACK AT HER! I literally screamed out “GUYS, HE LOOKED BACK!!” (I was talking to my cats of course). Sure, it was a nice nod to all the Finchel fans out there, but it was also a nice nod to anyone who is a true fan of the series. (side note: Did anyone else think it was interesting that Brittany didn’t sing with the girls? I think it is the creators hinting at the fact that Brittany is not in love with Santana – at least in the same way that Santana loves her). Anyway, I nearly died when Artie throws himself into the pool – I didn’t recover until after the proposal was over so I had to (unwillingly) rewind. I was a little nervous when I heard they cast a ‘Real Housewife’ – I only recognize her as the crazy person that was on Celebrity Apprentice but she was actually quite funny as the swim coach (with a bronze medal for “individual synchronized swimming” – hilarious). There were so many hilarious and heartbreaking lines it is hard to narrow down the best - but these are my favorite:

Well, Michael Chiklis in a wig… - Sue describing Coach Beiste

I’ve never seen lips like that on a white child…and one of your nipples is higher than the other. I bet you’ve had to overcome a lot with those crooked nipples. – Coach Roz to Sam

Just be grateful that Comrade Obama still allows Christmas – Emma’s father

I know that girl. That girl is a sly, conniving bitch. – Santana about Becky

Your dad was so much more than the last few months of his life. That man was not your father. – Carole’s response to Finn about why she lied (How I did not burst into tears is beyond me).

Well, here is a radical idea – why don’t you treat her like a real person and tell her. Becky just wants to be treated like everyone else….you of all people should know that. Why don’t you tell her the truth, so she can move on and maybe date someone else who doesn’t sound like one of those weird puppets they bring around to grade schools to teach kids about sexual predators. And for Gods sake…you need to go one day without the driving gloves…it’s a wheelchair, Artie, not a Porshe. – Sue’s advice to Artie about Becky

I just wanted to say that you blew that song out of the water and totally nailed the assignment. No…wait a sec…the assignment wasn’t to make everything about Rachel Berry and force everyone to watch…was it? – Santana after Rachel sings ‘Without You’

You’re like a beacon of light guiding me through the darkness - this big gold star- and for some bizarre reason…you chose to let me love you. – Finn proposing to Rachel

The Lowlights – Coach Beiste and Cooter eloping? I’m sorry but why on earth would we be happy about that when he treated her like garbage just a few episodes ago (started dating Sue without telling her, then flaunting their relationship in front of her)?? I’m also not really a big fan of any of the songs chosen (and there were way too many musical numbers). Of course, Lea seriously rocked ‘Without You’ but the song literally makes my ears bleed. The beginning number was cute with the whole Grease montage but also somehow really annoying – probably too much cheesiness for me to handle. Again ‘Moves Like Jagger’ is an awful song but I love Arties voice plus the 3 best male dancers showing their skills is never a bad thing (and Kevin McHale does an awesome job of imitating what Mick Jagger would look like in a wheel chair). I used to like Will as a character, but I hate that he has no outside life now (he even asks Finn to be his best man?!) – I would love for them to give him a little more dimension again. Plus how many times does Glee do the whole “you’ve taught me what it is to be a man” thing? I am also really annoyed at Burt for continuing to push Finn to take over his auto shop - I’m not knocking the fact that Burt is a hard-working guy with a respectable job but you should always have higher expectations for your (step)-children. If this actually happens then the entire series will be ruined for me.

2. Michael

The tribute to MJ – If I rated this episode solely on musical performances it would be one of my favorites. Let’s get down to business and grade the performances:

-‘Wanna Be Startin’ Somethin’’ - Darren Criss owns this episode – too bad his Broadway appearance forced him to miss out on most of it. While I feel that many of the performers were trying very hard to impersonate MJ’s raspy, heavily-breathed voice, Criss just did his own thing and sounded absolutely fantastic. Plus, when they arrive in the auditorium in their MJ gear I totally wanted to get out of my cozy chair and dance along. (side note – I laughed out loud that Finn’s MJ gear was a bedazzled football jersey). A+

-‘Bad’ – While, I appreciate the whole underground parking lot MJ duel – the lighting was so dark, I was squinting my eyes trying to see it the whole time. The choreography was lost - I just saw a lot of white faces. Again, the idea was there but the execution was not. The Warblers sounded awesome though. B

-‘Scream’ – Holy Fucking Amazing scene - as was the scene prior to it setting up for the perfect “dream” sequence for Artie’s anger about always being picked on. I usually don’t like when Glee copies the music video’s for songs (ala the entire Britney episode) but this one worked so well because they made it relevant to the story. Plus, Artie and Mike Chang (looking sexy rockin’ the guy-liner) are unbelievably awesome. Probably one of my favorite Glee performances ever (with the other Artie-centric dream sequence ‘Safety Dance’ being another one). I smiled through it's entirety. A+

-‘Never Can Say Goodbye’ – First, hopefully this is the last time we hear Quinn sing. Second, this song is exactly the opposite of what she just told Rachel in the previous scene (she told her to say “goodbye” to Finn) which just irks me to death. Third, this was a nice end for her character - She sounded decent, she looked amazing and she gave a nice speech at the end about growing up and moving on. Last, goodbye Quinn and good fucking riddance. C

-‘Human Nature’ – Oh Samcedes, you guys are kinda cute. But the real highlight is Mercedes getting to do something other than belt out the last note. She has a really lovely voice and I think Glee ignores that quite often. Also, Mercedes is a much better duet partner for Sam than Quinn ever was. B

-‘Ben’ – The lowest point of the episode. The song is just ridiculously cheesy and slow and had zero relevance to the plot. The whole scene should have been cut….although we do get to see Blaine in an eye patch....so...yah. F

-‘Smooth Criminal’ – Does it matter who won the duel? With this much awesomeness we all won right? (AND Santana totally killed it). Accompanied by the sublime talent of 2Cellos – I was in awe. A

-‘I Just Can’t Stop Loving You’ – OOF. I admit I cringed in the beginning. The song is just way outside of Finn’s vocal range and I could feel him struggling. It did get much better once Rachel joined in and Finn dropped his voice to a more comfortable octave. I’m not really a fan of this song but it did make a good “proposal” song. I just wish they gave this couple a fun song to do (like ‘The Way You Make Me Feel’) because this one dragged on and slowed the episode down (not as much as ‘Ben’ did though). I do appreciate that they sing by the piano (which is an ode to the Madonna tribute episode). On a side-note: I weirdly enjoy the song more when I listen to it instead of watching it. Cory actually sounds good (and as Rollingstone.com notes he “holds his own against Rachel/Lea vocally” – which is a HUGE compliment) it is just hard to watch because the voice doesn’t match Finn – I’m pretty sure that doesn’t make any sense….anyway…. C+

-‘Black and White’ – Um…relevance? I don’t get it. Still totally awesome. Artie Rapping? Double awesome (as was Sebastian’s snicker – he was totally thinking 'is this seriously happening'?? -which is exactly what I was thinking at the face morphing part). B-

The plot developments – This episode sort of felt like the beginning of the end for some characters. We learn that Quinn got into Harvard and that Kurt is a “finalist” for NYADA (whatever that means). Rachel seethes with jealousy about her friends moving on which is super annoying (Lea Michele did a fantastic job though). When she breaks down in the hallway (instead of congratulating her best friend), I wanted to scream (and please tell me these kids have a thing called a “back-up plan” right? Rachel claims to have “nothing” if she doesn’t get into NYADA but she DID apply to other schools... right?). Anyway, her panic influences her decision about Finn’s proposal – she says “yes” despite Quinn’s harsh advice that if she truly wants to accomplish her dreams she has to let Finn go. While I agree with some of her advice, I don’t necessarily think Quinn had Rachel’s best interest at heart – I think Quinn is extremely jealous that Rachel has someone that loves her (after all, the three guys that she dated - Finn, Sam and Puck – all know her for what she is: bat-shit crazy). If what Finn said is true (that he will go to NY with her) and if she gets into NYADA then she really will “have it all” which does happen (at least on tv shows) so it makes sense for her to say “yes”. I still have problems with Finn’s proposal to begin with – I feel like he is sort of grasping at straws hoping that his relationship with Rachel will keep him happy and it is never a good idea to rely on someone else to make you happy. Come on Glee writers – give him something to be passionate about besides Rachel! (Let me spell it out for you: D-R-U-M-S). Also I am loving Sebastian as the new Glee club enemy - it is smart of them to give the Glee club a new nemesis because it was getting exhausting watching Sue do it all by herself. Plus, Sebastian is HOT. The end.

The highlights – aside from most of the performances, I don’t really have a lot of great things to say. Santana had some solid lines (like calling Sebastian “Andrew McCarthy”) and Brittany not knowing how to lock a door made me laugh out loud….but yah it was all about the MJ awesomeness. I know I go on and on about how great Cory Monteith is as an actor – so this time I will just leave you with someone else’s comment on his acting skills:

“I love Cory Monteith on #Glee tonight. He is so real”. - Rita Wilson (via Twitter)

The lowlights – The absence of Tina in the end performance? Did they think we wouldn’t notice?

Thoughts on the Past 3 'Glee' Episodes

1. I Kissed a Girl –

Santana – So Santana has to deal with the fallout of smacking “Hamburgler” Finn (for outing her). Luckily for her, Finn is willing to lie and pretend like it was a “stage slap” on one condition – she gets the Troubletones to join them for their next Glee lesson: “Lady music week: by ladies, for ladies”. I was a little annoyed at Finn’s persistence for Santana to come out – why the fuck does he care anyway…right? That is until he unleashed his reasoning behind his actions: he cares for her, she was his first and he is scared that if she doesn’t deal with her issues she could internalize things and end up hurting herself. He needed to help her and although some might see this as him being a selfish teenager – I think if more people thought this way (selfish or not) there might be a little less tragedy in the world. I was literally mush after this admission from Finn and I never recovered….just about cried through the whole episode. Santana is forced to come out to her parents (since a smear campaign would be outing her via tv commercial) and luckily they are “ok with it”. Things aren’t so “ok” when she tells her grandmother – who tells her that she should have kept it a secret. She also calls Santana selfish for making her uncomfortable and also throws in a little “you’ve made your choice”. This is unfortunately a more realistic rendition of how these types of conversations go down and it is really heartbreaking. I appreciate that Glee decided to be a little realistic with the whole “coming out” issue – I freaking love Burt Hummel, how supportive he is to Kurt and I think that it is amazing the way that they portray this father/son relationship but it’s not always going to work out that way.

The elections – After all the build up between the Class President election and the Congressional election this is all we get? I actually missed the fact that Burt won because it was mentioned in passing and the fact that Brittany is class president is absolutely horrifying. I think it was pretty obvious that Burt would win (since the other candidates were insane). However, Brittany as the class president is pretty dumb. None of them should have won (out of the choices I guess that I would vote for Kurt – but even he didn’t seem that much into other than it looking good on his NYADA application). Rachel stuffing the ballots was predictable and ridiculous at the same time (she is much smarter than that) but her getting banned from Sectionals is extra juicy – how the fuck are they going to compete against the Troubletones now?

The Highlights – Oh there were so many but my biggest highlight by far is just 6 little words: ‘Girls Just Want to Have Finn’ (or Fun – same difference…). Absolutely stunning - Not only did Cory's voice sound incredible (as EW.com describes it “a gravelly Springsteen quality” ) – he also brought a very delicate emotion to the song. The song was enough to bring Santana to tears (I was already there from the previous scene…), but he also brought a little relevance to his own relationship with Rachel. When he looks up at Rachel as he sings the line “some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world” - I just about died (and for the record this little tiny moment was enough to officially solidify them as a couple for me – I was always on the cusp of liking them as a couple but that brought it home).

Actually, all the songs were pretty much awesome and all highlights of the episode – here is a run down:

'Fucking Perfect' – I actually suggested that Glee do this song last season (instead of 'Born This Way') but I never imagined it sung by Blaine & Kurt - which was fantastic. First, Kurt’s voice is perfect for it. Second Blaine’s preppy, white boy rapping was hilarious. Third, that ½ diagonal sweater thing that Kurt was wearing was probably my favorite thing he has ever worn. Oh and of course, Lastly, Santana’s reaction to the duet: “with all the horrible crap I’ve been through in my life…now I get to add that.” *mini clap*. It was fucking perfect.

'The Only One' – Oh how I love this song….although I think it loses all meaning sung by a man but watching Puck sex up the song with some thrusting and inappropriate glaring at Shelby was well worth it. As was the slow reaction from Quinn when she starts to realize he isn’t singing to her.

'Jolene' – Wow…you go Coach Beiste. The song was perfect and such a refreshing choice for Glee. Loved it. I am a little annoyed at the Sue/Beiste/Cooter love triangle. It happened so fast and made Cooter look like a complete ass – so I don’t even want Beiste to pursue him (therefore making the drama of the triangle ineffective). But at least we got this moment of genius…right?

'I Kissed a Girl' – Ok…I admit that when I heard the episode title I was really hoping for the superior ‘I Kissed a Girl’ from one of my favorite female artists, Jill Sobule, but knew in my heart it was the Katy Perry version since Glee has some sort of love affair with Miss Perry – I guess this song was inevitable. I don’t really like that it is used as a ‘coming out’ song of sorts for Santana because the song is clearly stating that girls kissing girls is just for fun. However, the performance was super cute and sexy and Lea Michele always sounds so much better than Katy does – which I find hilarious. They should have given Tina a solo considering this was her original Glee audition song (aah the memories…).

'Constant Craving' – Again, a refreshing choice. Also, a great choice was giving some singing lines to Idina Menzel . Always a highlight.

Other highlights: The return of Sue’s journal was hilarious as was her confusion as to why people think she is a “friend of Ellen” then whipping out her “Booty Call” book to inject her campaign with man candy. Also, Santana keeps the insults coming – calling Finn “fetus Face” and her reply to Blaine’s request to stop being defensive: “I’m trying but your hideous bow ties are provoking me”. Puck was a big highlight for me in this episode. His response to Quinn’s invitation for sex was probably one of my favorite things he has ever said to her: “Turns out…you’re kinda nuts, higher maintenance than Berry and pretty much the most selfish person I’ve ever met in my life so thanks for the offer but I’d rather raw dog a beehive”. I also enjoyed that he knew the quadratic equation, that he asked for a plastic surgeon to take care of Beth’s stitches and that he realizes how much Quinn is messed up in the head. He is really stepping up his game…right?! I think it’s about time to change the hair though...

The Lowlights – Um….I got nothing.

2. Hold on to 16 –

The return of Sam Evans – If you read my past Glee posts then you know that I was never a big fan of Sam Evans (his character was always pretty pointless and boring) but I don’t hate him and I don’t mind his return but I also don’t think it was necessary. I disagree with Finn that they need his “star power” because he really doesn’t have any. I absolutely loved that he is found working at a strip club unbeknownst to Finn and Rachel who confuse it for a dinner theater. Their faces as they see “white chocolate” on stage were priceless. The whole talk with Sam and his parents was just a bit too melodramatic and unnecessary (and soo annoying that their house is about 100x nicer than the one I grew up in – they are still supposed to be poor right…?). His song ‘Red Solo Cup’ was not my favorite but it was saved by Finn’s background vocals and Kurt’s horrified expression through the whole thing. I also would much prefer Sam and Mercedes than the guy that she is with now so I look forward to that inevitable storyline.

The return of Quinn’s sanity – so Quinn has been spiraling into crazy town this season (although Puck’s statement that she has been messed up since she got pregnant is also very valid). Her final act of craziness was to spill the beans about Puck and Shelby (getting Shelby fired would somehow invalidate The Troubletones and also prove her to be an unfit mother). With some advice from Rachel, Sam & Shelby she decides against it and decides that she needs to start enjoying life instead of destroying other peoples lives. My favorite part of this was Sam telling her she has “rich, white girl problems” and quoting ‘Jack & Diane’ (more on this below). So Quinn is sane now and suddenly all is right in the world of Glee. Don't you wish real life was this easy?

Sectionals – Question: How do the New Directions win without Rachel? Answer: They perform an 8 minute Jackson family tribute complete with awesome choreography and a solo from pretty much every member (except the 3 band members who were there just as bodies). Considering they picked the absolute worst songs in the Jackson catalogue – it was still all kinds of awesome. Was it their best performance? Hardly. But it was better than the Unitards (I’m sorry that girl is mediocre at best) and the Troubletones (the mash up of ‘I Will Survive’ and ‘Survivor’ was AWESOME…but those arm waving dance moves were NOT). I never thought in a million years that Cory would sound the best in Jackson medley (as Kevin McHale’s voice is my favorite and is very Jackson-esque) but boy did he kill it. ‘Man In The Mirror’ was absolute perfection – currently on repeat on my Ipod. The best thing that I can say about the performance as a whole is that they did a fantastic job without Rachel – I honestly don’t think she would have enhanced that performance at all. They found a way to use everyone else and really showcase the talent that all the Glee members have(even Quinn – her raspy voice was perfect for the ‘Control’ intro) – which I think was the whole point of the Troubletones formation anyway.

The Highlights – The epic showdown between Kurt and Sebastian was probably my favorite part of the episode (aside from Finn attempting to mimic Sam’s body roll move of course…). Here is how it went down:

Kurt: I don’t like you.
Sebastian: Fine. I don’t like you either.
Kurt: I don’t like the way you talk to my boyfriend. I don’t like your smirky little meerkat face. I don’t like your obnoxious CW hair. I’m on to you.
Sebastian: Let’s get a few things straight: Blaine’s too good for you. New Directions is a joke. And one of us has a hard luck case of the gay face and it aint me. Odds are by the end of the school year I’ll have Blaine and a Nationals trophy and you will have khaki’s and a Lima Bean apron and that gay face.
Kurt: You smell like Craigslist.

I also loved the final performance of the episode – ‘We Are Young’ was one of the best ‘anthem’ songs that Glee has ever done(which apparently everyone loved - #1 on Itunes and stayed in the top ten for a whole week. It’s been a while since that has happened..). It’s also been a while since they have given Tina something to do and she really killed in this episode -standing up for her and Mike’s decision to choose to perform actually brought a tear to my eye.

Some of my favorite quotes (Finn edition):

“I didn’t know 'Backdraft' was a musical” – Finn’s reaction to the stripper dressed as a fireman
“I’m really good at looking busy” – Finn
“Even homeless people have facebook” – Finn

The Lowlights – The fact that the song that the title came from was not in the episode!!! When I heard that the episodes title was “Hold on to Sixteen,” I literally started belting out “as long as you caaaan..changes come around real soon…make us women and men”. I was so ecstatic that they would be singing one of my all time favorite songs (‘Jack & Diane’ by John Cougar Mellencamp) but then the song titles were released and it was missing! Could they not get the rights for it? Or did they deem the song too depressing (“life goes on…long after the thrill of living is gone”)? Anyway, it was very disappointing. I was also hoping for a more epic showdown between Blaine and Finn – but they settled their differences rather anti-climatically in my opinion (it was super cute though). Finn’s admission of his jealousy over Blaine was the only thing holding him back from being 100% redeemed – but I am sure he will fuck up again somehow. I was also a little disappointed that the whole Mike Chang/Father issue is resolved already – seemed a little too easy in my opinion. Other than this and the few things mentioned above, this was another solid Glee episode (that is 5 in a row….keep the momentum going guys!!).

3. Extraordinary Merry Christmas

The Christmas theme - I am not a big fan of Holiday themed episodes, however Thanksgiving is just not the same anymore without Friends and I think Community might be the new king of Christmas episodes. Last years stop motion animated episode, 'Abed's Uncontrollable Christmas,' will go down in my book as a classic episode that is required viewing every year. This year they made another genius episode taking digs at our very own Glee ("What are Regionals??"). I seriously loved every minute of it. Glee's Christmas episodes are a little to cheesy for me but this years version was infinitely better than last years (which is my least favorite episode of Glee ever). It started out the same - the Glee club singing a Christmas tune as they decorate the choir room but at least the song was a better choice (Mercedes version of 'All I Want For Christmas Is You') and kudos to Director Matt Morrison for his nod to all the Gleeks for having the camera look through the infamous choir room window. The episode continued with the club doing a PBS Christmas special (more on that below) and learning the Christmas lesson that sometimes it isn't all good cheer for everyone and they need to help the less fortunate and be grateful for what they have...blah...blah...blah.

The PBS Special - While the special had its moments, overall I just wasn't a fan. Artie's vision of combining 'Star Wars' and a Judy Garland style Christmas special was a little underwhelming and actually quite boring. I think if it was shorter it would have been much funnier (the whole scene was a whopping 17 minutes long!!! It lost it's novelty after about 5 minutes) - plus there were 4 complete songs, which was just so unnecessary. I did love Rachel's overacting and Finn's bad acting though.

The Highlights - Sue being Sue again - calling Artie, Kurt and Blaine "wheels, porcelain, other gay" was a nice nod to season 1 Sue. Finn's gift to Rachel (no not the African sow pig that he gives to a Jewish vegan) - naming a star after himself so that he will always be with her (and the fact that he sucked it up and bought her diamond earrings as well).

Quotables:

"Aw...all I want for Christmas is you too. And 5 things on that list. - Rachel

"Christmas is a time for forgiveness, so I decided to forgive you for having no talent and ruining the American songbook one mash-up at a time" - Sue

"Can I be honest with you - Stumbles, Gelfing and young Burt Reynolds"? - Sue to Artie, Kurt and Blaine (who looks genuinely satisfied with his nickname).

"No. That's Copyright infringement - any resemblance to 'Star Wars' characters is purely coincidental". - Finn's response to Blaine asking if him and Puck were dressed as Han Solo and Luke Skywalker

The Lowlights - The overall theme and all the Christmas music was mind numbing (although I surprisingly enjoyed Rory's version of 'Blue Christmas' the best). Side note: Did anyone else notice that Santana's version of the sexy 'Santa Baby' was cut? One might assume it was just due to time restrictions but I think it might have to do with the fact that Community's Annie (the ever adorable, Alison Brie) did her own sexualized Christmas tune and it was one of the most disturbingly sexy performances I have ever seen. EVER. Sadly, Santana wouldn't have come close to such perfection. Maybe the Glee people realized this and cut it? Just a thought...

'Glee' : Thoughts On The Past 3 Episodes

Pot O' Gold

1. Heavy on the plots: This episode had a lot going on but they handled the many different plots very well (unlike the 'Night of Neglect' episode from last season - where all the plots were pointless and nothing related to each other). Most of the plot points were inter-weaved with each other (except the Puck/Quinn/Shelby disaster) and the pace of the episode moved rather quickly. Here is my take on things:

• The new kid – ok I was never sold on the whole 'Glee Project' thing but I admit that the kid isn’t terrible (although his hair is really hard to get past). I like the whole foreign exchange student plot, I like his relationship with Brittany and I like that he is going to give Kurt a run for his money on hitting those ridiculous high notes. I’m a little annoyed with them creating a “little brother” relationship with him and Finn – only because we’ve seen it before with Kurt (and since Kurt became his actual brother – I would like to see more of that instead of a reincarnated plot). Speaking of….
  





• Finn – Why do the writers constantly regress his character? Every time we get a Finn focused plot line – it’s always the same one: He’s a douche but then he learns that he is wrong, becomes a better person by the end. This was done well in season one with one of my favorite episodes 'Theatricality' (the one where Finn used the derogatory “F” word and was faced with the wrath of Papa Hummel – by episodes end he wears a shower curtain dress, declaring that they are all freaks that need to stick together). This time we see him stand on the sidelines and watch as the new kid (name?) gets bullied, he tells Brittany to stop being an “idiot” to which she feels “bullied” by (yet her GF Santana is the biggest bully of all…) and of course by episodes end he is taking said new kid under his wings and apologizing to Brittany. Can we please give the boy something better to do? And as hilarious as the comments about Finn being fat are – it really doesn’t make any sense. I feel like they are going to give him (as in Cory) a complex.
  





• Hummel vs Sylvester – Even thought this plot was spoiled months ago, I freaking love it. It is giving new purpose to Sue (and new life to Glee). Obviously, I am on team Hummel and -OMG- when he tells Will that the Glee club saved his kids life….that just about broke my heart. Sue now has someone else other than Will to torment (and her insults are already EPIC – like calling him “cheese grits” and “baboon heart”). Sue decides to run a campaign about funding special needs programs in schools because that will be hard for Papa Hummel to fight against (but really can't he just throw all the money she wastes on the Cheerios in her face???).
  





• Quinn/Puck/Shelby – Oh this plot is just ridiculous on so many levels. First, they are giving Quinn the most awful reason for wanting her baby back (because it is the only thing that Quinn has done that is “perfect”). Way to give the girl zero redeeming qualities. Then she decides the best way to get her baby back is to prove that Shelby is unfit (by planting horrible things in her apartment like books on baby sacrifice) but this would just get the baby sent into “the system” not into Quinns arms. Last – and this one is the doozy, Puck feels bad and tries to gather the planted items only to make out with Shelby (which seems like the best way to make her look like an unfit parent!!! Not to mention - FIRED). On a side note: I actually like Puck & Shelby together - they make a cute and somewhat believable couple. However, teacher/student romances are always juicy but the fact that she is also the legal mother of his child makes it all a bit icky.
  





• Santana & Brittany – Officially a couple, but just not in public – even though I am pretty sure everyone knows about it..right? Anyway, I love that Santana is still her bitch self – although I am unsure of how she is allowed to bully everyone and get away with it? She tore apart the new kid, Sugar and Finn in this episode alone. Doesn't Brittany see the way she treats other people? Or is she really an idiot?
  

2. Light on the music: I am really disappointed in this season so far on a musical level – I have still bought a total of ZERO songs from this season. For the past 2 years, I always notice Glee singles on the top ten chart consistently – this year I haven’t seen any. I enjoy Broadway songs, but nothing has been spectacular so far and I am getting really sick of the whole “West Side Story”. My biggest complaint though is that all of the new people are singing more than our core characters. The new kids version of 'It Ain't Easy Being Green' was a nice introduction to his voice, but also a little too obvious (everyone else is wearing red...I'm such an outsider...feel bad for me...blahblahblah). AND then the new kid got ANOTHER song to sing (the only highlight was Kurt's reaction to this new threat). Blaine singing ‘Last Friday Night’ was super fun but I would have preferred Artie’s voice (and a different song – it’s like Glee doesn’t know that Katy Perry sucks). I enjoyed Puck’s rendition of ‘Waiting for a Girl Like You’ – more for the fact that he was singing it to his daughter (although it could have been better vocally and emotionally). It also made me a little sad for Cory since he has really been pushing to sing a Foreigners song on the show (You have know idea how much I would bawl if Finn sings ‘I Want to Know What Love is’ to Rachel and I won’t even be ashamed).

3. The Highlights: I love the subtle but still there competitiveness between Rachel and Kurt (“did you airbrush out your jowls?”). I am intrigued by the newly formed Troubletones because I adore Santana and Mercedes voices together, but I still don't think they compare to Rachel. I am disappointed in Finn’s storyline but was super pleased that he was in most of the episode (as opposed to the last 3) – he always makes me smile. I loved him trying to eavesdrop on Santana and Mercedes in the hallway, I loved his little dance with Rachel during Blaine’s impromptu song, I love that he is a bit jealous of Blaine taking over the Glee club and I especially loved when the new kid asked if “Hudson” was an Irish name – his response “no, my mom’s from Toledo”. Other quotables:

"She’s kinda like Rain Man with boobs". – Finn’s perfect description of Brittany
"Why couldn’t she have just wished for Lord Tubbington to quit smoking"? – Brittany
"You made me look 26, I asked you to make me look 22". – Sue to her make-up artist

4. The lowlights: Brittany believing in leprechauns. Again, this plot has been done (Santa, the stork, unicorns) – I agree with Finn, it’s just idiotic. I also did not enjoy the glimmer in Finn’s eye when Burt talked about him running the auto shop (Nooooooo! Glee writers, I beg of you do not do this to him! He’s not a Lima loser….remember?!!). There also was very little Rachel – always a mistake.

The First Time

1. Finchel & Klaine – I really like that equal weight was given to each couple’s “first time” – although I am not sure I appreciate that it happens because Artie inappropriately claims it will make them better “artists”. I guess it makes sense to give them a catalyst so to speak for all the sex talk to begin but it was just a little contrived for my taste. In my opinion, the episode was done really well simply because they don’t really focus on the sex (really, it was actually one of the less controversial episode’s in regards to sexual scenarios), instead it focused on the couples being “in love” and “ready” to take their relationships to the next level. Teens have sex – I think the world would be a better place if everyone just admitted that and moved on to the important stuff (like protection, education etc). The meeting amongst the girls was a really great scene (and utterly ridiculous at the same time) because usually Glee is pretty flippant when it comes to teen sex (as proven by the cheeky rape joke about Brittany’s first time – officially “the first time” Glee has offended me….well done.). Tina’s point of view about her and Mike’s first time was a fresh perspective that Glee has sort of avoided until now and it is very relevant to Rachel. Season 1 Rachel was the girl that claimed that the celibacy club was not realistic, she is the girl that claimed girls want sex as much as guys and she also claims to be in love with Finn – so I think it is perfectly fitting that she see fit to have sex with him. It did seem a little out of place for Rachel to comfort Finn (after being rejected by the Ohio State football coach) by giving him “something special”, but the scene was really beautiful so I will just pretend like Rachel planned on having sex with him that night before she even got to his house. Blaine and Kurt were super adorable in the beginning – Blaine’s excuse for resisting the urge to tear off Kurt's clothes? “Because of the layers”. I adore their relationship and this episode was obviously a huge step for network television and gay equality. I loved the whole Blaine, Kurt, Sebastian triangle (although as much as love Kurt – dayum Sebastian is H.O.T). Kurt’s reaction to Sebastian trying to steal his man was spot on – shimmying his way in between them dancing together. I know we haven’t seen the last of Sebastian and I can’t wait for a Kurt/Sebastian showdown.

2. The sub-plots – Although most of the ep was focused on the two couples, we also got quite a bit of other good stuff – Artie bossing everyone around (aka “directing”), Mike Chang standing up to his dad, Coach Beiste finding love (thanks to an extremely inappropriate meddling from Artie), and a very satisfying appearance from Karofsky – who we learn goes to another school and also goes to gay bars to feel accepted. All of it was awesome.

3. Highlights – Cory, Cory, Cory…..did I mention Cory? His acting was freakin’ impeccable in this episode (as expected). I wish there weren’t so many spoilers about this episode (I tried to avoid but it was damn near impossible) – I already knew Finn’s dreams were going to be crushed, but he still managed to kill me anyway with that breakdown scene. He is perfection and so far the biggest highlight of this season.

The best lines:

“As for the condoms…no idea…never used them. It’s worked out for me about 99% of the time”. - Puck's sex advice to Finn
“I don’t know who this Blaine guy is, but apparently he’s sex on a stick and sings like a dream”. - Sebastian
“You take my breath away” – Kurt to Blaine (cut to me…bawling).

4. Lowlights – Again, not into the whole ‘West Side Story’ thing so none of the music appealed to me, but I did enjoy Santana’s version of ‘America’- not enough to purchase it…but it was still entertaining. The return of the Warblers was unnecessary. Also, Sebastian…..can’t sing (still so hot). Artie’s entire arc was really annoying – I enjoy him as a director, but him suddenly giving sex advice to everyone (because he had sex once with Brittany) was just plain stupid (although I did like his little speech at the end about how he is usually coddled by people and has never been treated like an adult before).

Mash-Off

1. The songs

– Finally!! I enjoyed most of the music in this episode (even bought a few songs).

• 'Hot For Teacher' – so inappropriate as Rachel states (but then again she sang an inappropriate song or two – specifically when she had a crush on Mr. Shuester). But I loved that they did something different AND they looked like they had a ton of fun which always makes it fun for the audience. Plus, Cory + drums is what I dream about at night….






• 'You and I/You and I' – The songs went together beautifully. Plus I love Idina Menzel – her singing is always a highlight (bigger highlight was Sugar Matta swaying in the background).






• 'Hit Me With Your Best Shot/One Way or Another' – enjoyed the dodgeball – it was cute and fun. Although a little pathetic that The New Directions would lose (3 of them are football players…). Cory and Naya sounded fantastic together though. Purchased!!






• ‘You Make My Dreams Come True/I Can’t go for that’ – The song actually sounded really good, but they just looked way too ridiculous – it was hard to stop laughing. Proof that a haircut effects how old you look – because they all aged 10+ years for that performance.






• ‘Someone Like You/Rumour Has It’ – Freaking perfection. The tone, the dancing, the mash-up of the two songs - the whole thing was nothing short of sublime. Especially Naya's interjection of the “Don’t Forget Me” line – it is almost haunting. I’ve heard a few covers of 'Someone Like You' and none of them have impressed me (actually Amber Reilly posted a video of herself singing it months back – yes she sounds great but the tone of the song was missing). Purchased!

2. Finn vs Santana - In one of the most epic showdowns ever – it is truly hard to take a side (ok…not so much for me….Finn is my favorite always) but I do understand the huge impact that his “outing” of her in a public space will have on her life. As much of a BULLY as Santana is – she did not deserve to have the right of coming out on her own terms taken away from her. I use the term “bully” on purpose because Glee seems to take on the issue but they never give Santana any consequences for her actions ….I guess if you’re flinging hilarious (and downright genius) insults at people then it is A-Okay. I actually LOVE Santana as a character and Naya has been perfection with her story arc since last season. She is a character that one “loves to hate”. Finn on the other hand doesn’t really have a mean bone in his body. He may be a bit naïve and sometimes jealous but I don’t think he would intentionally hurt anyone. His “outing” her was never out of a malicious intent – he was more calling her out for being a coward and trying to tear others down because of her own insecurities (aligning her in the same league as the big bad bully of the school Kurofsky). After Santana pretty much insults Finn’s entire existence (kudos to Cory for being the brunt of some pretty harsh punch lines – none of which are true in real life), he understandably snaps. He stayed calm for most of her put downs and even after it all – he still complimented her singing in the brilliantly done Adele mash-off. I did not see that smack coming, but I was not surprised by it.

3. The Highlights – Most of everything that came out of Santana’s mouth was epic – especially her digs at “soft serve” Finn. Here is a sampling:

“Guys…Hurry up..go get some moist towels. We have to keep Finn wet before we roll him back into the sea”.
“At one point I must’ve liked that you looked like a taco addict who has had one too many back alley liposuctions”
“I’m trying to apologize to lumps the clown”.
“I’m sorry that you have no talent, I’m sorry that you sing like you’re getting your prostate checked and you dance like you’ve been asleep for years and someone just woke you up. Have fun riding on Rachel’s coattails for the rest of your life”.
“Manatees have really thick skin”.

But one of my favorite lines was from Rory (as he sweetly tries to back Finn up by “trash talking” Santana) – “You’re skinny like all the crops failed on your family’s farm”. HILARIOUS.

I also find myself enjoying the Shelby & Puck storyline – The three of them make a really cute family. I am just nervous if they get together (and get caught) that Beth might actually get taken away from her. I will NOT like that storyline. I also love the tension between Finn and Blaine – waiting for that to explode. My favorite “little moment” was the self-referential "stop the violence" line that Brittany sings (she memorably said this line last season during an epic Santana/Quinn fight. It was also nice to see Santana laugh - I feel like it's been a while since that has happened.

4. The Lowlights – Not many, as this was my favorite episode of the season so far. I did think the whole Sue vs Burt plot was overdone. The ad campaigns were just plain stupid and ridiculous – and obviously would never fly in the real world. The candidate speeches for student class presidents were just as stupid – none of the candidates had anything important to say. Rick “the Stick” wants the teachers to stop talking, Brittany wants to stop tornadoes and pledges to go topless on Tuesdays, Kurt vows to end dodge ball (and thus bullying?) and Rachel wants to stop book covers (but then decides to opt out of the race and back Kurt instead). Please, McKinley High - don't vote for any of them!!

Thoughts On The Past 2 Episodes of 'Glee'

'Glee' is already on a mini-hiatus (will be back in November). I'm already missing it, but I have to admit I am a little disappointed with the season so far. Here are my thoughts on the past 2 episodes:

I am Unicorn

1. Quinn/Puck/Shelby – I am disappointed that the “skanks” storyline is being dropped so quickly, but am intrigued by Quinn’s sabotage of Shelby to get her daughter back – although last season, Quinn was ALL talk (remember how many threats she made – she never followed through with any of them). I know a lot of fans of the show were disappointed that season 2 dropped the whole “baby” thing – but I actually appreciated it. In the real world when you give your baby up for adoption – that is the end of the story. I do think Quinn and Puck have unresolved issues but I don’t think it was necessary to bring the baby back into the picture (although I love Idina Menzel, so I won’t really complain). The scenes with Puck were done really well, because Puck was always very supportive of Quinn keeping the baby and promised that he would take care of both of them – so it was great to see some emotion from him as part of the aftermath. He never wanted to be like his dad and abandon his child. The promos are now hinting at a Puck/Shelby relationship which would be really interesting and weird at the same time.

2. The 'West Side Story' auditions – I’ve never seen it…at least that I can remember. But now that I know it’s basically Romeo & Juliet, I feel like I don't really need to see it. I really like that they are giving Artie something else to do by co-directing the play (along with Beiste & Emma). I enjoyed the 3 “audition” songs, but I would have appreciated at least 1 “glee” song. ‘Somewhere There is A Place For Us’ was outstanding - again I don’t know the play so I am not familiar with this song, but it fit the whole Shelby/Rachel storyline very nicely. And I can officially forgive them for their last duet together (‘Poker Face’). Kurt's audition was...interesting. 'I’m the greatest star' is an annoying song, but the theatricality of it was entertaining (and I love the Sai swords – which is a hobby of Chris Colfer's). Finally, Blaine's audition was super boring. I almost pressed fast-forward. The whole romantic lead aspect of Kurt and Blaine was pretty ridiculous – they are both pretty flamboyant and neither are believable as a being an “alpha gang member”. The Romeo and Juliet scene with Kurt and Rachel was also so overdone and not really funny at all. Them all laughing at him was not very Glee at all.

3. Finn's potential storyline – So, even though he had minimal screen time (again) – his scenes are setting up a potentially great storyline. I would like that to be explored….soon. Where has all his confidence gone? He seems like he is the least confident when he is with Rachel – probably because she eclipses everyone. But then again, Rachel is the one that is going to push him the hardest to become something great. Also succeeding in pushing Finn, is Mr. Shue – which makes me very happy. Poor Finn is not the best dancer, but the fact that he doesn’t give up is very telling for his future. He may be “lost” right now, but I think he’s going to figure out some things about himself soon. No, not everyone needs to go to college to be successful (proven by Cory himself) so it is nice to see that explored – I personally think his best option is to be a drummer. He’s good at it, it makes him smile and he could still potentially follow Rachel & Kurt to NYC to pursue his dream. Plus, drummers are hot. I am nervous that he is working in Burt’s auto shop (as Quinn predicted that he would) – he may not be the most talented kid in the Glee club but from the very beginning of this show the whole point of “Finn” as a character was him wanting to be something and NOT end up a Lima loser. I hope the writers remember that.

4. The Highlights – Of course there were some funny lines like:

- “What’s the Capitol of Ohio” to which Brittany replies “O” – it’s sort of genius if you think about it.

- "I'm glad that you're so concerned with our special needs members but what about me?" - Rachels response to Mr. Shue's "Booty Camp" idea.

-"Will Shuester never did appreciate the gentle tremble of your thin, forgettable alto" - Sue to Quinn (I love it and agree with her assessment wholeheartedly...).

-"Finn, you look like you are stomping on bees". - Mr. Shue to Finn

Other highlights were Mr. Shue tearing Quinn a new one. His speech to her being selfish and immature was brilliant. I also love his "booty camp" idea - because they definitely need to step up their game. I feel like they are definitely going back to a season 1 Will - you know where he actually cares about his students.

5. The Lowlights – Aside from the the focus being more on the play than the club and the lack of Finn, I don't really have too many complaints. Usually I love Brittany, but her whole “you’re a unicorn” shtick to Kurt was seriously cheesy.

Asian F

1. The anticipation vs. the reality – So according to several critics, this was supposed to be “the best episode of Glee ever”. The promo declared that Glee has found it’s heart again. The cast spent the day tweeting about how proud they are of the episode, how talented everyone is and how everyone must watch. It was also described as a “game changer” for the Mercedes plot line and we were teased with an epic Brittany performance. I was looking forward to it (although from the episode descriptions and promo’s it was clear that Finn was once again being side-lined) mostly for the ultimate diva off between Mercedes and Rachel and also for Mike Chang getting an actual plot. The episode aired and I was stunned by it's mediocrity. First, this isn’t the first time that Mercedes and Rachel have competed – and it obviously won’t be the last. It wasn’t all that interesting and I’ve seen better performances from both of them (specifically in last seasons 'Night of Neglect' episode) . Second, it was obvious from before the episode even aired that Mercedes “big decision” would be that she was joining the other club. Third, I agree that Glee has found it’s heart but I don’t watch Glee for it’s “heart”. I watch it because it is hilarious – the show is usually inspiring because it is able to combine “heart” and it’s subversive comedy perfectly. I am disappointed that this season hasn’t exactly been laugh out loud funny.

2. Mercedes vs. Rachel – I love Mercedes – I really do. Her voice is amazing but when compared to Rachel – I just don’t see it. Lea Michele’s voice and passion outshine everyone – if they really wanted the audience to see Mercedes as a comparable competitor then they should have had Lea tone down her talent a bit. She outshined Mercedes and undeniably won their “diva” off. Also, since when does no one want to hurt Rachels feelings (as Mercedes claims) – I am pretty sure she gets made fun of all the freaking time!! The whole plot was just a little hard for me to believe. The New Directions losing Mercedes is definitely going to hurt them (who is going to belt out the last note of songs?) but I am glad that she is joining the other club - creating some more drama. However, unless Sugar Matta has some talent hidden up her sleeve I don't see them as a threat to the New Directions.

3. The “other Asian” vs. his parents – Oh how I love Mike Chang. Seriously, it is about damn time that they give him something to do (aside from his awesome dancing). I enjoyed his storyline – and I think it is very relevant to what Glee is all about. Harry Shum Jr. did a great job (acting, singing and dancing). When his father claims that performing in Glee club is a waste of time and actually a detriment on his transcripts to get into Harvard, my heart broke a little because I think this is how a lot of parents feel. The scene with him dancing by himself with no music was really beautiful as was his imagining of the people in his life like Tina stating “you don’t talk that much but when I see you dance…it’s why I fell in love with you”. His audition was really great. I think they might want to consider him for the lead – right? He's much more of a heartthrob than Blaine in my opinion...

4. The Highlights – Emma’s parents were perfect!! I loved the bit of intrigue on why she was so hesitant on Will meeting them - claiming that she has "ghost parents". I would never guess in a million years that they are in fact......"ginger supremacists". Freaking hilarious. The dinner scene with the 4 of them was brilliant. The whole praying bit at the end was a little unnecessary and over-dramatic as was Will's intent to "fix" her. But overall, I appreciate some insight into Emma's life and why she is the way she is. The only other highlight was that Finn’s burst of excitement when Rachel won the coin toss was also adorable. His support of her is such a contrast of the way Mercedes bf treats her (see: The Lowlights).

5. The Lowlights – Oh there are so many… First, I seriously hated Mercedes in this episode – but I have even more hatred for her super annoying boyfriend. It’s great that he is supportive and pushes her to succeed but he is also encouraging her to be a self-righteous bitch who treats other people like garbage. And why is it ok that she suddenly needs a man in order to feel good about herself? Her quitting the Glee club was a little over dramatic and way too angry. Then the whole Dream Girls thing was really awkward. I didn’t like it at all (although I appreciate the attempt at something different). I was also disappointed that Rachel’s solution to possibly not getting the lead role was to run for student class president – it doesn’t even make sense plus is it really realistic that three people from a club that everyone hates are the only people running? Does no one else go to McKinley? Why is Santana suddenly back in the club already? The performances were lacking (for the third episode in a row – I haven’t bought a single track on itunes yet this season; I usually buy at least one song per episode). Brittany was sexy as hell singing Beyonce’s 'Run the World' but I absolutely hate the song. The performance wasn’t bad – but it just wasn’t that exciting either. I’m sorry but 'Fix You' started off really painful – it got better once the Glee club joined in. I've never heard Matt Morrison sound bad - but I guess there is a first for everything.

5 Thoughts on the Premiere Episode of 'Glee'

'Glee' is officially back! I think the first episode was a solid one - it sets up a few nice story arcs for the season that I am really excited about. Here are my thoughts on the episode:

1. "Me and My Hag" – I love Kurt and Rachel together. They always seem very natural together in scenes and the chemistry between them is perfect - the scene with them in the car was heartbreaking. I also enjoy this whole "are we really good enough" angle – they are basically humiliated by the realization that there are millions of talented people in the world. They actually have to put some effort into having their dreams realized. So, they invest in some extracurricular activities (Rachel decides to add “lead in a school musical” to her resume while Kurt decides to run for senior class president) – which sets some nice groundwork for the upcoming season. Also, I assume the season will end with them in extreme competition (you did notice that the school they both want to get into only accept 20 students a year...highly unlikely they would pick 2 kids from the same school - does this remind anyone else of The O.C?).

2. Where was Finn? – I seriously hate when they shove him in the background – especially when they beat us over the head with the whole “back to basics” “focus on core characters” direction of season 3. The beginning sets up his story arc of him being "lost" followed by a multiple slushying (is that a word?). We also get some very adorable shots of him on the drums (always a highlight) but really nothing else. Very disappointing.

3. “The Skanks” – Wow it has been a long time since I heard that word. …..but holy crap Dianna looked good (still can’t act though…). I love this whole plot: Quinn is now a bad-ass “skank” who has pink hair, a nose ring, a tramp stamp (of Ryan Seacrest – please let Joel McHale make fun of that on The Soup) and spends her school days hanging under the bleachers, smoking cigarettes. I hope they keep it going because I don’t think Dianna/Quinn is good enough to be in the club but as a club nemesis, I enjoy her greatly.

4. The Highlights – Some seriously funny one liners “why is that t-rex eating the Jew?” and “I worked that song like a stripper pole” are probably my favorites. I love that Sue is running for a seat on Congress based on a "cut art programs at schools" platform because that gives her new reason to hate the Glee club and something to do (unlike last season). I knew that I would love Vanessa Lengies – her character, Sugar, is a riot. She is sort of like a combination of Rachel Berry and Brittany minus the talent – it is brilliant. Santana finally getting kicked off the Glee club for being on "Team Sue" and a backstabbing bitch was perfect – I’m hopeful that her revenge will be delicious. Oh and Zises is out of Glee club...whoo-freaking-hooo!!

5. The Lowlights – Mercedes suddenly hanging all over her new man is irritating as hell. Blaine singing 'It's Not Unusual' was admittedly very cute but I can't help but picture Carlton from The Fresh Prince (I'm old...remember?!). And then it hit me that Blaine is sort of similar to Carlton - bow tie and all, which was distracting. I liked how Finn called him out for being in the spotlight all of the time - I think this will cause problems within the club. I didn't really like any of the other songs. 'We Got the Beat' was cute but it reminded me too much of High School Musical (and that is NOT a good thing). The girl who was supposed to "show up" Rachel and Kurt (apparently one of the many Glee Project winners) didn't come close to succeeding.

'Glee' Season 2 Best & Worst Performances

It's 'Glee' day!! The season 3 premiere is on tonight and I couldn't be anymore excited. There are lots of reasons to look forward to the new season (the "back to basics" promise from creators and the cast, Vanessa Lengies joining the cast - loved her on 'American Dreams' and 'HawthoRNe and the whole "who's graduating" mystery). To celebrate I am watching some season 2 episodes and picking the best & worst performances:

BEST

1. New York (performed by the New Directions) - "The song of the year....New Direction style". A fitting song to sum up the entire season. We new from this song that they would in fact be going to New York for Nationals (setting up the perfect bookends like last season). When I first saw the performance, I didn’t realize this would be the beginning of the Top 40 trend for season 2 so I actually loved it (I didn't love the trend that followed). I enjoy when the Glee club steps outside of the choir room/auditorium. The performance was really great - they looked like they were having fun which always makes it fun to watch. You can't really go wrong with a performance that has Mercedes belting out that powerful voice of hers and Finn rapping. It's a double win. Plus it was hilarious that everyone ignored them.

2. Slave For You (performed by Brittany) – Brittany killed it as Britney. Her performing (or more like re-enacting Britney’s famous looks like her VMA performance with the snake & the see thru sequences body suit) was seriously impressive. And she looked HOT. She proved her dance skills (which we didn't get to see too much of in season 1 with her being in the background all the time).

3. Teenage Dream (performed by The Warblers) - I absolutely hate this song and I am not really a Katy Perry fan in general. However, I enjoy this version (not as much as everyone else – it definitely doesn't deserve it's #1 Glee on Itunes slot but whatev). I like that they got an actual Glee club (from Tufts University) and that it is A capella – the group is obviously talented. And Darren Criss – I totally understand why everyone digs him – he is super adorable. The popularity of this song led to many (too many) Warbler performances but this was definitely the best.

4. Just the way you are (performed by Finn with the New Directions as backup) – I hated this song so much but then this happened and now I can’t stop listening to it. When he says “you’re gonna dance it with me dude”- I literally broke into tears. His voice is better used for classic rock, but he nailed this song (soo much better than I thought he would). Plus, the whole straight guy slow dancing with his gay step-brother and singing to him “cuz you’re amazing just the way you are”. It just breaks my heart into little pieces every time I think about it. The whole scene is groundbreaking television. There was some cute “finchel” moments in there as well.

5. Don’t cry for me Argentina (performed by Rachel & Kurt) - I am a sucker for Broadway songs and a double sucker for a Rachel & Kurt duet. This was absolutely beautiful. It literally gave me chills. My favorite frenemies are incredible together. More of this in Season 3 please.

6. Valerie (performed by Santana) – First she looked amazing (the only one that could rock that awful disaster of a dress), second she nailed it. She sounded as good as Amy Winehouse...if not better (shame on me!). On top of the fantastic singing we were given a dancing performance from Mike and Brittany that was unbelievable. They are so awesome. The mix of hip hop, break dancing with some ballet added with the gymnastic flipping through the air was perfection. It just reaffirmed how talented everyone on this cast truly is (except *cough* Dianna....*cough*).

7. The Time Warp (performed by the New Directions) - LOVED IT. Kurt was perfectly creepy, Finn’s voice never sounded better and Quinn actually sounded fantastic (plus she kinda looks hot with that big red wig). I literally listened to it everyday on my way to work for like 3 straight weeks and shouted along with Artie “put your hands on your hip”. Brittany and Tina's tap dancing was also pretty awesome. I just love songs where everyone gets to show off their skills...

8. I Want to Hold Your Hand (performed by Kurt) – Holy crap – I bawled like a baby. Kurt nailed this song but not only that – the flashback scenes were soo heartbreaking (the tea party with his dad, the funeral for his mom). I just love Burt Hummel and his relationship with his son. And young Kurt was a dead ringer – great job to the casting director on that one. I don't think I will ever be able to listen to this song again without thinking of Kurt and I think that says a lot for such a classic song.

9. I've Gotta Be Me (performed by Finn) - Obviously, I am a Finn fan so call be biased. But seriously, this was like the most adorable thing I have ever seen. It fit the episode so perfectly - with the theme about accepting your flaws. Finn accepts that he can't dance but he tries really hard to copy Mike Changs flawless moves. And come on it's a freaking Sammy Davis Jr. song!!

10. My Man (performed by Rachel) - I don't know if I have words to truly describe this performance but this is what I can come up with: stunning, breathtaking, sublime and transcendent. Say what you want about Lea Michele, but you can't deny that the girl can sing. I am often moved to tears after a Rachel ballad and this was definitely the best of the season.

Worst:

1. Baby One More Time (performed by Rachel) - This was completely beneath Lea Michele’s talent. It was hard to listen to (however she looked awesome in the Britney outfits). I hated that they again just re-enacted the video - I would have preferred a Glee spin on the song. And the song doesn’t go with the show (her and Finn are very much together so why is she singing this and thinking of him?).

2. Ohio (performed by Sue & her mother) - This was seriously the most boring thing ever on Glee. Ever.

3. Time of my Life (performed by Quinn & Sam) - Awful! It was missing so many things like....passion, energy, stage presence. Dianna Agron is such a hit or miss with her voice and this song was definitely a huge miss. The song got better when the rest of the group joined in...but they definitely should not have won (good thing Valerie saved them).

4. Start Me Up/Living on a Prayer (performed by the girls of the New Directions) - I did not like this performance at all. The wind machine was really distracting and the girls were trying way too hard to be "bad-ass" and it really didn't work. Plus, they just shouted the songs instead of singing them. I usually like their mash-ups but not this time.

5. Nowadays/Hot Honey Rag (performed by Rachel & Holly Holiday) - This was awful on so many levels. First, Gwyneth Paltrow is not nearly a good enough singer to sing a duet with Lea Michele. Second, Lea Michele isn't really a great dancer - why give her a dancing solo? Third, the height difference is distracting and awkward.

6. Unknown Justin Beiber song (performed by The Justin Beiber Experience) - I refuse to look up the title of the song - but this performance just made me really mad. I enjoyed season 2 of Glee a lot more than other people did. I stuck up for it when others were tearing it down and then they go and shove Justin Beiber down my throat and I just had to surrender. The chalk dust, the screaming fan girls - ugh it makes me want to vomit just thinking about it. Artie has such a great voice though...so it wasn't a total loss.

7. I Know What Boys Want (performed by Lauren) - Thanks Glee for ruining one of my all time favorite songs. She sounded absolutely awful (because she can't sing), she looked awful (the "i'm hot" thing was just painful). I actually really like her character - she is hilarious, but I am not a fan of her in the Glee club - she is NOT talented. Hopefully, she gets the boot in season 3 (not off of the show - just out of the club). I did LOVE seeing everyone in their underwear - Finn with his Power Rangers Tee was a highlight.

8. Animal (performed by The Warblers) - Sooo awkward. The whole "be sexy" thing was funny for Kurt, but the whole performance was sooo not sexy unless you think bubbles are sexy?... Plus, they auto-tuned the hell out of Kurt's voice which was unnecessary....if his voice isn't in the songs range - then don't have him sing it!!

9. Rolling in the Deep (performed by Rachel & Jesse St. James) - Again, what is up with ruining my favorite songs?! This was terrible. It started off promising - Rachel singing an Adele song seems like a good idea, but then Jesse entered and his voice is awesome but a little too raspy for this song. Then the weird choir thing in the background started singing and it was just cringe worthy.

10. Turning Tables (performed by Holly Holiday) - Why would you give this song to Gwyneth Paltrow (oh...because it goes perfectly with the storyline?...ok...I forgive you then)? I just find it highly impossible to ruin an Adele song and somehow Glee did it twice. I would love to have Mercedes or Tina sing this song. Hint.Hint.

4 Reasons I Didn't Want See 'Glee: The 3D Concert Movie'

So 'Glee: The 3D Concert Movie' bombed at the box office this weekend. While the expectations were never really that high - I think at the very least the producers expected to get their money back from opening weekend (which they will eventually). I really don't think anyone doubted that it would crack the 'top 10' (it came in at 11). The funny thing is - I am a huge fan of 'Glee' yet I wasn't all that excited about the film. So if I (someone who can practically recite every episode) don't want to see it, then who does? Here are some reasons why I wasn't excited (and yes, I did actually go see it out of obligation as a fan of the series...my thoughts on the film are also below):


1. I've already seen it - As most fans of the show have - either in concert or via the endless video clips on the Internet. I didn't go to the concert. The sole reason for this was that as much as I would love to see Lea Michele sing 'Don't Rain on My Parade' live, I simply can't handle the hoards of screaming teenagers. Luckily for me, the wonders of the Internet allow me to watch it anyway.

2. It panders to teens - Remember when Glee first aired - it focused on Mr. Shue taking over the Glee club?? He was a huge presence on the show, as were the other teachers. The show, although partly about a group of kids, was an ADULT show. Obviously, plenty of teens watched it and enjoyed it - but it bothers me that they are also controlling it. When the first episode of season 2 aired - the character, Jacob, very memorably "reported" on the Glee clubs "gay summer" and said to Mr. Shue "Did you know there is a forum on my blog begging you to stop rapping" and he responds "wait, kids don't like it when I rap?" and Jacob shakes his head no. Then, guess what happened?? - a whole season went by without any of Mr. Shue's awesome rapping!! When did the creators start caring about what the "kids" liked? This film is aimed towards "kids" in the same vein as the Justin Beiber and Hannah Montana concert films and it makes me feel old! Stop it Glee!

3. The actors stay "in character" - Honestly, this is probably the biggest reason that I didn't want to see it. When I read that this film would be a faux-documentary style about the McKinley Glee club making a 3D concert film - I was dumbfounded. That doesn't even make sense - why on earth would they be making a film let alone be performing a sold-out concert at a huge venue? I want to see behind the scenes footage of what it takes to put this tour on. Forget that, I want the world to see how much work these actors have committed themselves to because I adore every single one of them. I want to see them interact with each other and their fans. This is a film that I would be excited about. The "in character" thing is bullshit and to make matters worse, my favorite "character", Finn, isn't even in the film aside from the performances (because the actor, Cory Monteith, was recovering from food poisoning the day it was filmed). That totally blows.


4. 3D - Like I have said before, 3D films give me a headache - it's usually not worth the trouble for me (and I have spoken to many others who feel the same way). The film should have been released in good ole 2D so that it was more viewer friendly.


Overall, I think the film is borderline mediocre - I have more bad than good things to say about it. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone even 'Glee' fans.

Here are my highlights of the film -

1. Most of the performances - I would say that about 85% of the performances were awesome. Lea Michele's performance was stunning (of course she was brilliant in 'Don't Rain on My Parade' but she also shined along side Chris Colfer in their duet 'Happy Days are Here Again/Get Happy'). It made me crave for the future when she is back on Broadway. Harry Shum Jr's dancing was a big stand-out (as always). The most surprising highlight for me was The Warblers. I was so over them on Glee but they sounded fantastic (along with Darren Criss). I was very impressed. They "owned" that stage more than The New Directions did....






2. The Mini-Warbler - Seriously, who found that kid? He is freaking adorable.









and some lowlights -


1. The 3 fan "stories" - To be blunt - I could give a fuck about these people. I have a lot of harsh words for this whole premise but I don't want to seem hateful. So the nicest thing that I could possibly say is that the stories are too contrived and I agree with Entertainment Weekly that it felt very "self-congratulatory" on behalf of the creators of Glee. I think they need to stop trying to change the world and go back to being a funny, bitterly sarcastic show with awesome white guy raps.

2. Cory - It breaks my heart to say anything bad about someone so perfect...so I won't. Ok...maybe just one thing - as I said above, I am under the impression that he was sick while this was filming so kudos to him for even getting on a stage and performing in front of a camera and thousands of people. However, 'Jessie's Girl' was probably the worst performance of the show. He did sound fantastic in all of the group numbers (especially 'Somebody to Love' which they shoved in after the credits so most people already left the theater). And I really wish they focused more on him during "Born This Way" and "River Deep, Mountain High" because in the Internet clips I have seen he is really funny in them (which is what the film needed some more of). Ok....I am done. That hurt my insides.


3. The fans - After watching so many Internet videos of the concert, I did regret not actually going. But then I saw this film and thanked the skies above. Fans are crazy!! I admit that as a teen I went to numerous *NSYNC concerts - and even had second row seats but us *NSYNC fans weren't nearly as crazy as fans nowadays. Or Maybe they were and I just was too enchanted by Justin Timberlake to notice. However, I have never been the type of fan that wants autographs or anything - I would never wait in one of those meet and greet lines because I have nothing to say. I also would never reach my hand up and want a performer to touch me in the middle of a concert - do you know how sweaty they are under all those lights dancing around?? EW. Do not touch me with those sweaty hands. Plus the performers should probably think twice about reaching their hands out - I watched a video of some lady pulling Darren off the stage (which was hilarious and scary at the same time). Also, the fans were distracting once the 3D camera panned out the audience members were in focus and it was really annoying. My friend who came with me also mentioned how annoying the camera angles were. It didn't bother me that much until I winced when I thought we were going to see directly up Naya Rivera's short mini-dress number she wore during 'River Deep, Mountain High'.


4. The "in character" concept - So I already stated my dislike for the concept - but the actual "in character" moments were really annoying. The biggest problem is that these actors are not great improv actors and I am pretty sure they didn't get lines to memorize - so the whole thing fell really flat. None of them seemed "in character" at all. How great would it have been to have Mark Salling teach us how to disc golf (which is what he did during downtime) or have the audience join Cory and Naya interacting with fans at one of their AT&T meet and greets? That is what real fans want to see!! I'm calling for a re-do of the whole film.

4 Thoughts on the Big 'Glee' News

Lots of big casting news in the 'Glee' world over the past few weeks.....as a huge fan of the show i have some opinions:

1. Chord Overstreet not returning as a "regular" - If you have read any of my past Glee posts then you know I am not the biggest fan of Sam. That wasn't always the case....I actually adored him in the first episode. I loved his voice (and his version of 'Billionare'), I loved that he was a dork (and spoke Navi and did Matthew McConaughey impressions) and of course...I loved his abs. I don't blame Chord for the demise of his character - I blame the writers. By mid-season his character bored me to tears and by the end I was hoping for his character to disappear altogether (and I questioned Chord's acting after that painful crying scene). I am sort of happy that they realized his character doesn't work and they are admitting it by not renewing his contract. However, it doesn't necessarily mean he will be off of the show - if you think about it all this time Harry and Darren have not been considered "regulars" and they still were on the show....a lot. **Update: So Apparently Chord is leaving the show...after being given the option to stay as a guest, he declined in favor of "other offers". I can't really blame him. It was sort of arrogant and disrespectful for the creators to announce to the world that he was getting let go from his contract. Although - I am curious as to what the "other offers" are?? I can see him continuing a career in music, but I doubt he will go anywhere acting wise....

2. Harry and Darren promoted to "regulars" - Again...they were on the show as often as everyone else so the news doesn't really change anything for me. I am interested to see if they transfer Blaine to McKinley or if they leave him with the warblers (because honestly ....i have just had enough with them....).

3. Goodbye Lea, Cory and Chris - The news that the creators would be graduating some characters at the end of season 3 has been circulating for months now...so it is no big surprise. I understand the need to keep it true to a real high school - pointing out other shows like Skins and Degrassi that change their main characters. While I like the idea, I honestly don't think it will work for this show. First, as Anderson Cooper hilariously points out in his "RidicuList" the show is not exactly a realistic portrayal of high school (they deal with real "themes" but not real "plots"). One could easily find ways to keep the actors on the show. Second, I don't trust Ryan Murphy. I was a loyal viewer of Nip/Tuck and watched the show go from one of the most innovative shows on tv to one of the most outlandish. Ryan has a tendency to ruin things. The show relies heavily on its actors (and characters) and Ryan lucked out with these 3 - the fact that he doesn't recognize how important these characters are to its faithful audience is disappointing. I am already nervous about the new cast considering that one of them is being chosen from a reality show (The Glee Project - I refuse to watch). But when I really think about it, I honestly think Ryan is doing these 3 a favor - because if they were offered another contract they would surely be obligated to sign it (no one wants to be known as the actor that turns his back on the project that made them famous). Now they are free to move on (along with a lot of Glee viewers..).

4. The others - I am sure that more names will start to appear as being "fired" (which is totally misleading). I just hope that Ryan actually grows a pair and confronts them about it directly instead of telling the media first. Cory talked about how he would probably be one of the ones graduating when the news first broke months ago - but the fact that it still hasn't been discussed directly with him bothers me a lot. Also, why did Ryan feel the need to make the announcement the day before the Emmy nominations - it takes away from Colfer's special day when instead of answering questions about his nod he is forced to talk about this (which he admits it was not his choice to leave....that just makes me sad). Come on Ryan, I willfully admit that you created a fucking brilliant show - but these actors work their asses off and commit themselves 100% to your vision. They deserve your respect. So, when you do announce the "graduation" of Santana, Puck, Tina, Artie etc - give them a heads up first....k? **Update: News from ComicCon reports that these three will NOT be leaving the show and that they have 7 year contracts (Let me repeat that....7 fucking years!). Ryan Murphy opted to NOT keep his mouth shut (surprise, surprise) and expained himself in another interview - he claims that these three actors were in talks for preliminary spin-off ideas. Which is still a contradiction from what he previously stated (he said that he did not speak to Cory about plans for him to leave Glee - "I presume he knows"). AND he has the balls to announce that the spin-off project is now on hold - blaming the actors. He basically states that they should not have spoken to the press about learning of their "firing". However, Chris was nominated for a freaking Emmy the next morning and was bombarded with questions. He was understandably a bit shocked to learn he was "fired" and expressed his feelings professionably and appropriately. As far as I can tell, Lea only made one very short Twitter statement that was also professional stating her love for the show and her fans. While, Cory has been MIA - keeping his mouth shut, growing his scruff, vacationing on islands and banging on his drums. So, to blame them for misconstruing things in the press is absolutely ridiculous. That was ALL YOU Mr. Murphy - telling the press that 3 stars will no longer be on the show will inevitably be sensationalized to them being "fired". You have been in this business long enough to know better. I am saddened that the 3 of them are stuck for another 4 years because I kinda want them to say fuck you and walk away. Luckily, they are much more professional than I would ever be.

'Glee' - 50 Best Lines From Season 2

Spending my summer missing 'Glee' and re-watching season 2. Here are my favorite lines from the season: (p.s I posted season 1 lines a while ago - 35 of them....this time I could not narrow it down - 50 is the best I could do). (p.s.s I started in order...but that got too time consuming.)

1. When will you Glee Clubbers accept the fact that people hate you and think that you are nothing but a glorified karaoke club designed to make the inventors of auto-tune millions of dollars? - Jacob

2. Oh you don't speak English- You like me sing....you like me sing very much! - Rachel to Sunshine (who speaks English).

3. Mike tries to be into what I am into - like his abs. - Tina explaining why she dumped Artie for Mike

4. I don't know. I've never had any balls in my mouth- have you? - Sam responding to Puck's question of how many tennis balls he can fit in his mouth.

5. Stop the violence - Britney deadpan reaction to Santana & Quinn fighting in the hallway

6. How can you get caught between the moon and New York City? They are like 100 miles apart. - Finn

7. Can I just say that you are the hottest dentist that I have ever seen? No, like seriously you can totally drill me.... - Santana to Carl (before Emma cuts her off)

8. I'm more talented that all of you- I see that clearly now. It's Brittany. Bitch. - Brittany

9. I look forward to the day the paparazzi provokes me and I attack them. - Rachel

10. We need his voice! and his bad boy stage presence! - Finn's reaction to Puck being in juvie.

11. How can you do a duet by yourself? That's like vocal masturbation or something. - Santana

12. You can't tame the tiger. You've read my tattoos. - Rod Remmington

13. When you guys fooled around...did he ever just lie there? - Brittany to Tina (about Artie)

14. Hey, I'll bring him to work with me - weekends I volunteer at a stray cat rescue. It's at the bottom of a coal mine. - Kurt on taking care of the Warbler's mascot (a warbler)

15. I'm not nervous...you know why? Because show choir is stupid - Lauren

16. I want Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff. Mike telling "santa" what he wants for Christmas.

17. You messed me up Rachel. - Finn (it literally breaks my heart the way he says it.)

18. I have no idea what is going on in this script...and it's not in that cool 'Inception' kinda way. - Finn about The Rocky Horror Picture Show.

19. Halloween is fast approaching. The day when parents encourage little boys to dress like little girls and little girls to dress like whores. - Sue

20. I don't need to hide behind my muscles like you do. - Finn to Sam

21. Awesome....I think. Are you insulting me? - Sam's response.

22. Give me some chocolate or I will cut you - Becky (dressed as Sue for Halloween).

23. Sorry, but I wanted to sing about Jesus - I'd go to church. The reason I don't go to church is because most churches don't think very much of gay people. Or women. Or science. - Kurt

24. I need to know that when I'm 25 and have won a bunch of Tony's and I'm ready to have intercourse and babies - that those babies will be raised a certain way. - Rachel to Finn

25. You are nothing but a scared little boy who just can't handle how extraordinarily ordinary you are. - Kurt to Karofsky.

26. At least I didn't fall and break my talent. - Rachel after she slips on a buttered floor.

27. I'm Mike Chang. - Brittany introducing herself to the new substitute.

28. What? I'm not going to kill you - Terri to Will

29. I was gonna suggest clapping erasers...but you guys are mostly dry erase....soooo.... - Holly Holiday's ideas for punishment.

30. Kurt, there is a moment when you say to yourself - "oh there you are, I've been waiting for you forever" - watching you do 'Black Bird' this week, that was that moment for me...about you. - Blaine (cue me hysterically crying).

31. Maybe you're right - maybe I am destined to play the title role in the Broadway musical version of 'Willow', but the only job you're going to have is working on a pole! - Rachel to Santana (oh snap!).

32. That's my man and his legs don't work. - Brittany

33. Can I be honest? Just with the hair...I think they do. Kurt to the Gap kid after the Gap kid says that no one at his work knows that he is gay.

34. Whatever, I'll just marry and NFL player. They're super reliable. - Santana

35. I don't want to die yet. At least not until 'One Tree Hill' gets cancelled. - Brittany (one of her best lines ever).

36. If I stay ...I am not singing no show tunes. That is the music of my oppressors - Azimio

37. You're so afraid of being called geeks or losers or gay that you settle for being nothing! Puck bringing the wisdom.

38. Newsflash Imelda: there is no one lining up to coach Glee clubs because it's a sucky job for losers. - Sue to Emma

39. Hold on...hold on...is this song about your headband? Finn (about the most epic song ever performed on Glee).

40. I'm off to have craaazy sex...because I'm craaazy informed about it. - Holly Holiday

41. Sex. It's just like hugging - only wetter. - Holly Holiday

42. Wait. Cucumbers can give you AIDS? - Finn

43. And now performing the hit single Tik and also Tok by rapper Key-dollarsign-Ha, the New Directions. - Figgens.

44. Everybody drink responsibly. Brittany (after she barfs on stage from drinking too much).

45. I had to throw some of them out...I'm allergic to pansies and I don't mean that as a swipe at either of you. Sue to Finn & Kurt.

46. How do you manage to enter the building without setting off all the fire alarms? - Sue to a very flamboyant Sandy (AKA The Pink Dagger).

47. I don't even remember putting that in there. - Brittany after dirt comes flying out of her locker (put in there by Sue).

48. Maybe Rachel is fine with having an enormous beak....maybe she needs it to crack hard seeds. - Santana

49. Teen gay: you may now proceed to the next checkpoint without the fear of violence. - Santana to Kurt

50. Santana told me to never talk to you alone because you would try to steal all of my gold. - Sam to Rachel