Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Whisper Man - There's nothing technically wrong with this movie - it's fine. It feels like those 90s/early 2000s psychological thriller about profiling serial killers (Along Came a Spider, The Bone Collector, etc.), and that's fine, but it just feels dated. Nothing about it is new or fresh - it's like it was written by AI and I think we are going to see a lot of that actually happening and the only way to stop it is by getting more interesting, innovative, and creative narratives made, instead of screenplays that follow all the rules so much so that they seem generic. Basically I'm saying writers need to STEP IT UP if they don't want to be replaced. There's a great cast, but they all seem to be phoning it in a little bit - especially De Niro. I had no idea Michael Keaton also had a small role in this - and I feel like he's in a different film compared to the rest of the cast because he actually acts during his scenes. I will always love Michelle Monaghan though. I was hoping The White Lotus would give her career that little push that it needs for her to break into A-list territory. It seems like she's always *just* on the brink of it, and then ends up in movies like this. I still don't like Owen Teague though so I took a deep sigh when he appeared. UGH. There's not much else to say about this - there is literally someone yelling "that's the Whisper Man!!!", just to give you an idea of how dumb this is. LOL. 

2. The Chronology of Water - As someone's first feature film, this is incredible. I'm definitely interested in Kristen Stewart as a director, and I'm excited by what she might do next. However, there's a lot of it that I don't like, and most of it is very personal. I wrote a TON of notes while watching it, and in the end, I always think that's a positive (even if I don't like a film - a response that leaves an effect is more important than generic garbage). So, where to start?? I guess, I'll give a little insight into the things that I connected to and have in common with this woman. The story is based on a memoir, so I assume that most of it is true (or her truth, at least). First, I had an abusive father. I'm luckier than this woman because my mom left him when I was very young, so I didn't have him in my life for very long. Second, swimming is the ultimate cathartic activity for me. I sometimes wonder how much different my life would be if I actually pursued it. I was asked to join the swim team when I was in middle school, but couldn't because there were no after-school buses to take me home (and my mom was a single working mom), and then in high school I felt like I wasn't good enough because I didn't have the experience that others had so I never tried out for the team. But, I was taught to swim at a very young age by professional swimmers (it ran in my family). And I LOVE it so much. If you ask me where I want to be at any give time of day, I would say either "sleeping" or "swimming in the middle of the ocean". Third, I too, was offered a "partial" scholarship that was laughed at by my parent (my mom). It was to the Tisch School of the Arts at NYU. My mom would not pay for the rest of the tuition because she thought going to school for art was stupid. Fourth, I also turned to writing once I did go to college, and I think just writing down my thoughts has really helped clear my head, gather what is real vs. what I've misremembered, etc. And I also have these weird memory blips of my childhood that feel like a dream, and happen at the most random times. So, what does this all mean? It means that yes, I think this film felt very personal and real. It's very smartly written, because it's written by someone who has experienced all of these things firsthand. It is unapologetically FEMALE - the way it shows the effects of PTSD, the cycle of violence, the emotions and the sexual pleasures, and it is all really impactful. I also like that the nude scenes feel sensual instead of sexual (making it even more clear that it is directed by a woman...). I think every single shot is very purposeful and just overall very stunning. I wish that I could just stop here, but there's just also so much that doesn't work for me - first, the cast??? Imogen Poots is hit-or-miss for me, and I don't really have a problem with her performance here. But for a lot of the movie, she is supposed to be high school/college aged and she is very clearly a woman in her mid-30s. There are so many talented actresses in their 20s that could have easily done this role, so I think this was a big miss. The part that features her boyfriend in college is so weird because he looks so young compared to her (HE IS! He's 10 years younger than her!).  I also think that Jim Belushi showing up in a red beret completely took me out of the movie (lol). And HOLY SHIT! THAT'S THORA BIRCH?! That's crazy because she's MY AGE! And I don't feel like I'm that old! (I know, I know, I am. BUT STILL). Second, I hate when stories show abuse survivors, victims of trauma, women who have "daddy issues" falling victim to toxic relationships and having a predilection for BDSM. It's clearly "true" because SO MANY of these stories are the same, and this is someone's story, it just feels like such a cliche. And I just find myself in such an opposite direction - I have no time or care for drama/toxicity/mind-games in relationships. And not to get too personal - I might not *always* connect sex with love, but I will never get off by letting a man (or woman) hurt me physically - my brain just doesn't work that way at all. And I kind of hate how all of these stories about abuse end up the same way. Third, this film is FAR too long. I was starting to zone out a little bit, but thought "it should be over soon" only for there to be an entire hour left. NOPE. Edit it down. Period. Your movie will be better, I promise. Overall though, I think this is very good and I highly recommend it. 

3. Supergirl (2026) - Nope. Can't defend it. The nicest thing I'll say is that it's not among the worst films of the year - it pretty much sits right at the middle. But it's another disappointing entry into a recent line of female led superhero projects that basically suck. And that sucks. For the record, I've liked a few of them (Black Widow, She-Hulk). But when these films fail at the box office or get review bombed on IMDB, it just gives studios even more of a reason to not make female led projects so we have to figure out what works and why it works, and I do feel like this whole "angry" feminist slant is alienating for a lot of people (90% of men and 50% of women - statistics I just made up in my head, but I stand firm on it). The reason Wonder Woman works is because she's NICE and she CARES ABOUT PEOPLE. I just think there is a way to show emotional complexity/survivor's guilt/family trauma/etc. without also having Supergirl be an asshole (she literally gives the advice "you don't have to be nice"). I deeply believe that a lot of women who have "been through some shit" are the nicest women you know - because they KNOW the world is awful and being nasty just makes things worse. I also don't think normal every day men have an understanding that human trafficking is an actual threat (like my husband for example - I remember someone talking about human trafficking and he made a comment that it's "not something to worry about where we live" and I had to tell him that there are literally phone numbers and websites listed in women's bathrooms for women who are being trafficked IN NEW JERSEY. He was shocked. And now he's always like "be careful walking to your car - I don't want you to be trafficked" and I go "I'M FOURTY-FIVE. Nobody is looking to traffic a 45 year old woman".). ANYWAY, I think the threat or "villain" in the movie doesn't feel like a tangible thing. And it doesn't necessarily have to feel real, but I *think* that's the vibe that this movie is going for and it just doesn't work. I also think that the whole "you'll regret it if you kill him" thing is SO FUCKING STUPID. No, you won't regret it. He's not someone who can be rehabilitated. He killed your whole family! It might not make you feel better, but it's certainly not going to make you feel worse???!! Fucking kill him. The end. Also why does the bad guy look like Hellraiser?? And then he says "this one dies before the end of the day!", but...uhhh...just kill her now? It's such an awful bad guy trope in movies that never makes sense. The whole thing is just kind of stupid to be perfectly honest. 

4. Office Romance - Obviously I assumed this was going to be bad, but it also might be a cute romcom?? Those DO exist, and sometimes I'm in the mood for them! I also think it's hilarious that Brett Goldstein wrote himself into a romance with Jennifer Lopez (arguably one of the most beautiful women alive). I'm a big fan - I enjoyed his success with Ted Lasso, but I think Shrinking is one of the best written shows we've had in a long time. I did laugh a few times in the beginning of this (the date getting too drunk, anything that came out of Betty Gilpin's mouth), and they actually have very good chemistry together, but overall it's just very uninteresting. And very predictable - obviously the room service lady was going to be an important part of the story because it's a recognizable actor in the role (Amy Sedaris). If they wanted that to be a surprise then don't cast a name. DUH! On a side note, I would LOVE to learn how to fly a plane. My husband and I actually looked into lessons, but it's very expensive. Maybe one day, but we are focused on travelling now. Oh and the cover of "Fade into You" is very pretty. That's about all I have to say about this. It's the very definition of "Meh". 

5. Scary Movie (2026) - I'm not even sure how many of these movies have been made, but I know I definitely saw the first one. Not so sure about any after that. I love Anna Faris SO MUCH. She's HILARIOUS, and I hope she gets another sitcom soon (she was so good in Mom). I was nervous that I wasn't going to get most of the references in this because I'm old, but then I realized that this is made for millennials, so I'll be fine (lol). This starts off really strong with the Teyana Taylor scene (the "I'm black" and the woman taking off her pearls made me giggle). She's FUNNY! I hope she gets to show that more in films. There are a few other bits that made me smile - the Sinners gag, the "Ghostface from Wu-Tang?" line made me actually laugh out loud, the kids running Weapons-style and the one getting hit by a car, them singing the song from The Jeffersons. I also was not expecting the K-Pop scene. But obviously the best part is the "what are you waiting for" scene (iconic!). However, the film definitely wears out its welcome. I watched the extended cut on Paramount+, and it was still only 100 minutes, but it felt like 2 hours. It's a one star movie, but it's SUPPOSED to be a one star movie, so I rated it TWO STARS. Does that make sense? Like, it does what it sets out to do. Also, I screamed at the Carmen Electra cameo! Love her.