Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Locked Down - I'm not sure if anyone is really in the right headspace to watch a "lockdown heist" movie at the moment, but it's Doug Liman and Chiwetel Ejiofor...so....okay? I think these are just the kind of movies we are going to be swimming in for the next few years, so we are just going to have to go with it. I never really had the full "lockdown" experience - I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, but the company I work for found a "loophole" so-to-speak by reclassifying my store as a "distribution center" and therefore deemed "essential", so me and five of my employees still went to the store anywhere from 2-5 days a week during the lockdown to fulfill online orders (which on one hand was absolutely ludicrous - our store sells nothing essential. We sell over-priced yoga pants and bohemian dresses along with home decor, to call us essential and put our health and safety on the line made me SO ANGRY, but also, it was a genius way to still sell through the inventory levels that would have just sat in the stores for months AND because they found a way to still make money, they (so far) have not cut jobs. I also had to spend the other days not in the store on Zoom calls doing unnecessary training and meetings just to justify a reason to keep paying us in full). Anyway, sidetracked, but my point is that I still left my house and interacted with people the whole time so I can't relate to what others have gone through during this time. I did relate to her layoff speech though, because I had to do about a million furlough speeches (all temporary, luckily), but it's still emotionally draining telling someone that they don't have job security (and ugh..the worst one was when I had to call one of my managers whose father just died a few days before (not of Covid) to tell her that her furlough was extended and she answered the phone like "Michelle...please don't do the speech. I'm emotionally drained. Just tell me if I have a job"). Okay...back to the movie! The characters in this movie are in a tough situations since they are on the verge of a divorce, but stuck living together because of the lockdown. It's an interesting idea, but ultimately it goes nowhere. I was severely bored for the entire beginning (although Chiwetel shirtless is a nice distraction...), they don't even discuss a "heist" until an HOUR into the movie, so don't watch it with the expectations that it's like an Ocean's Eleven thrill-ride type movie. It's definitely a relationship drama for two-thirds of the story. And, Anne Hathaway is fucking grating when it comes to relationship dramas. I'm pretty sure she thought her "I started smoking again" speech was going to be her Oscar clip. Then, the heist is all done out of pure convenience, not because they outsmart anyone or have any type of skill whatsoever. And there's this whole really dumb "joke" about Edgar Allan Poe being his fake name on his ID, but wouldn't you just call yourself Ed Poe to not make it obvious (this sentence only makes sense if you've seen it). Also, I wonder if they do the whole replica thing for the art that is displayed at Harrods too? I went there when I was in London, mostly out of curiosity, but I was surprised at how busy it was and how careless everyone seemed around valuable paintings and sculptures. It's definitely not museum level care - so maybe it's all fakes that are displayed? Interesting. Anyway, this isn't a bad movie. I just think it could have been much better. 

2. Ava - It's always fascinating to me when a cast this good creates a movie this spectacularly mediocre. It's not exactly new territory, but Jessica Chastain, Colin Farrell, Geena Davis (!!) and John Malkovich - I was all in! However, it's all bad. The plot, the action sequences, the dialogue, the weird family drama thrown in, the gambling subplot, the fact that this woman could not physically fight all of these men (I'm pretty sure if this character was male, the actor would have had to get completely ripped for this role, but we're supposed to believe this woman, who has sticks for arms, can beat the shit out of men twice her size? OH OKAY). It's all just exhausting. And you know what else is exhausting? Colin Farrell with that mustache. I think he's had it for the past 3 or 4 movies he's been in, and I don't like it. I'm used to being attracted to him, but I can't get behind the mustache. Farrell and Chastain are both great, they have great chemistry together - and their fight scenes are more believable. But there is some really terrible acting performances in this. Specifically, Common and Jess Weixler - just so awful. But the worst part of the whole movie is when Colin is first introduced with this girl by his side (Diana Silvers), and I thought it was supposed to be his wife - and I got really annoyed because she's like 24 years old and Colin is my age (I think a few years older? Early 40s). BUT THEN, I realized that she's actually supposed to be his fucking daughter!! And somehow that's even worse? He's playing someone with a 24 year old daughter?! I'm not even used to guys my age having teenage daughters and now I have to deal with this? Just fucking kill me. 

3. The Little Things - Ok...so this isn't as bad as everyone is saying. It's a fine 90s type crime/thriller with two decent performances (Washington & Leto). Kind of like Kiss the Girls, The Bone Collector, etc. That's not a bad thing, either, because I miss movies like this. I just think people expected more action/suspense instead of the slow-burn story that is presented. It absolutely could have been about 30 minutes shorter, but I was invested through the whole things, so for me, I think it's a successful movie. I don't think Leto's performance is award worthy (all signs point to him getting an Oscar nod for this, and that is just fucking crazy), but I'm also not sure where all the hate towards him comes from? He's a solid actor in EVERY project and his performance in Requiem for a Dream is one of my favorites of all-time (and I assumed he had an Oscar nomination for that...but apparently not...???). I get that he's a fuckin' weirdo cult leader in real life, but I think we can all admit that most celebrities are fuckin' weirdos. Why do some get picked on? Especially when it turns into criticizing performances that are not actually bad? I don't thing Denzel has ever disappointed me, and he's the same here - he's one of the few actors who you can always just always count on. But, we really need to do something about Rami Malek, you guys. I was fully on the Malek train with Mr. Robot - rooting full-force for that Emmy win, but that's the only thing I had ever seen him in and I still maintain that the performance is brilliant for that role. Unfortunately, Malek is just really cold and robotic in every role since. He's got this really blank look on his face with this monotonous tone in his voice, and it is just completely baffling that HE HAS AN OSCAR. As for the story - it's fairly obvious as to how its all going to play out up until the moment that tries to subvert everything. It also tries to justify not holding figures of authority (like detectives) accountable for their actions, which is not cool (even actions that are mistakes, and ones that are "necessary" to prevent future crimes still need to be addressed and held accountable). *spoiler ahead* The ending is really rough - and I knew the red barrette was going to be a big factor in the end, but I like how they still left it open for interpretation (just because he didn't find it doesn't mean it's not him...right?). 

4. Palmer - Another solid 3 star movie - although I think this will stick with me for a little while because I really liked the subtlety and quietness of it all. I do think it's a bit melodramatic in some parts and most of it is unrealistic (this kid would have been taken away long before this story starts), but I like the ideas it presents about forgiveness, personal responsibility, rebuilding your life, and it has a really sweet and simplified way of addressing toxic masculinity. I'm a big Justin Timberlake fan (for real.), but I always prefer him more as an entertainer over acting. However, I just don't think he's been right for the roles that he has had. This role suits him really well - it feels like something he's more passionate about and brings him back to his southern roots. I still wish he would focus his energy on other things, but I was pleasantly surprised and impressed with this. I also happened to watch this movie on Justin's 40th birthday and almost had a meltdown - I just have so many memories from being 20/21 years old that I associate with Justin (I was an intern at Jive Records in 2002 in the Marketing dept., and GUESS WHO was releasing his first solo album...) and it feels like it was just a few years ago. NOT 20!. Anyway, the kid in this movie is super adorable and I feel like his story is handled with a lot of thoughtfulness and care. And his answer to when Palmer (Timberlake) asks him to think about the fact that there are no boys in the princess club that he wants to join - he asks "what does that tell you?" and the kid says "that I can be the first!". My heart just burst. The worst part of the movie is Juno Temple, who is in a completely different film altogether - one that is loud, cliched, and obvious (and her scenes are part of the "melodramatic parts" that I referred to earlier). I have no idea why she gets so many roles. 

5. Mulan (2020) - Completely forgettable movie - but I admit, the animated version is also pretty forgettable for me. It came out when I was 17, though, so I think at that point I thought that I was a little "too cool" for Disney. I've never had any inclination to re-watch it, either. And I definitely couldn't tell you any songs from it. But I was kind of interested to see how I would fare with this live version compared to the Disney live action movies that I am actually attached to (like The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast - both of which I didn't like). I thought maybe not having any connection to it...might actually help my enjoyment? But I was wrong. Although, I do like the story - it's a classic story of female empowerment and family loyalty. And I think some of it is really cinematically beautiful. However, it's hard to hide behind the many controversies surrounding the movie - (the star, Liu Yifei, made some controversial political statements, some scenes were filmed in a place where there are concentration camps, etc.) Plus, many Chinese critics called it "hollow" representation of their culture. Personally, I can't really speak to any of that, but it did feel more offensive than it should have. Especially at the end when she "lets her hair down" and fights as a girl (with makeup? in the middle of a battle...really?). Also, I don't remember Mulan having special powers in the animated version? So...the only way she can win in a battle with men is because....of magic? Fuck that.