Movie Marathon: The Mummy

*side note* I did not watch The Scorpion King movies because I am terrified of scorpions and I did not watch the 2017 remake with Tom Cruise because I just watched it last year and it's terrible. 

1. The Mummy (1999) - I've always *assumed* that I've seen this. It was a very popular film when I was a teenager. And I've always *assumed* that I didn't like it - I had this idea in my head that it's poorly acted (bc Brendan Frasier duh) and the effects were terrible, and it's like this cheesy adventure film that people love because it's bad. But then I started watching this, and...ummmm...I realized I have never seen it. I know I have a bad memory sometimes, but nothing about this was familiar aside from what I remember from tv ads. And guess what??? I fucking loved it! It's actually a very good movie, with some excellent effects (for 1999). And Frasier doesn't even bother me that much in this. I can see why people fell in love with him. He has GREAT chemistry with Rachel Weisz, and he's charming and funny in a sarcastic way. I've always loved Rachel, but I just assumed from her look here that she fell victim to the pencil thin eyebrow trend of the 90s and it's HORRENDOUS. But it actually works for this because it's supposed to take place in the 20s (which, again, was a surprise to me! I thought it was a present day movie. I mean present day as in it took place in the 90s), and her eyebrows make more sense. I really love her character in this too. John Hannah provides some comedic relief. There's some great scares and overall, it's just a fun time! I don't think it's a 5 star movie (as some have it rated *ahem*), but it's great! 

2. The Mummy Returns - And this one is good too?! What the fuck? I honestly did not expect to like these movies at all, so this was all a nice surprise. But, I specifically avoided watching The Scorpion King because I didn't want to see scorpions (I'm honestly terrified of them! And if I see them, then I'm guaranteed to have nightmares about them), so I didn't realize that this sequal features The Rock as The Scorpion King, and there are multiple scenes with scorpions. I had to keep looking away from the screen, but my husband insisted I watch the scene in which he returns as the 1/2 scorpion because he said it's the worst CGI in film history and...he's not wrong. Haha! What the fuck is that?? It's insane that this got a whole ass spin-off when it's absolutely a monstrosity to look at. I can't imagine a whole movie featuring this character. It's also kind of insane that this is what launched The Rock into super-stardom (acting-wise) because he's...terrible. Anyway, otherwise I mostly enjoyed this. I think the kid is super annoying, but I can get past it quickly. I like that they give the main characters a bit of history and lore to go with this fantasy adventure. And I like that they give Patricia Velasquez a bigger role because she is absolutely gorgeous. 

3. The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor - Wow. What a drop in quality and storytelling. And to go from Rachel Weisz to...Maria Bello?? WHAT? I actually like Maria Bello just fine, but she's not even the same nationality! It doesn't make any sense. And why is their kid so old? This actor looks 30! He looks the same age as Fraser (I looked it up and I think they are only like 12 years apart in real life).  He's supposed to be 21, which doesn't make sense because he would have been drafted during the war and probably have, like, PTSD or something, but they don't mention it at all. And why does he have an Australian accent?? Anyway, this is trash. Shifting it to China is stupid and both Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh are wasted. The effects are awful. It's also just really...boring. I stopped paying attention about 1/2 way through and I still knew what was happening every time I looked at the screen. I'm just going to pretend that this one doesn't exist and stay hopeful that the next installment is as good as the first two (and Rachel is BACK! YESSSS!). 

Ranking: 

The Mummy (1999)

The Mummy Returns

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Tomb of the Dragon Emperor