Movie Marathon: The Lord of the Rings & The Hobbit

The Lord of the Rings:

1. The Fellowship of the Ring - Let me start off by saying that I've seen all of The Lord of the Rings films exactly once and it was in a theater upon their release. So, it's been 23-25 years since I've seen them. I was a big fan back then, though. Not like the real crazy fans - I've never read the books nor do I care enough about the lore to nitpick the movies. But I do think they are extremely well made films with some great effects, beautiful cinematography and set design, and a fun group of actors. I grew up with Elijah Wood - from The Good Son and The Adventures of Huck Finn to The Faculty and Deep Impact, he was always in a fun movie at every stage of my child & teen years. But the real crush for me was Orlando Bloom. I fell for him with Black Hawk Down and then he became like my #1 celebrity crush after The Pirates of the Caribbean. I loved Legolas. I don't think he's the best actor, but he's so good in these fantasy franchises. I remembered way more of this than I thought - which is weird because I don't remember the next two at all. While watching it, I kept thinking all of this happens in just the first film? What the Hell are the next two about?? Also, I should mention that we watched the extended editions for all of these movies except the first Hobbit (my husband owns the boxset extended version of LotR films because he is one of those nerds who read all the books. And HBO Max had the extended version of the last two Hobbit movies but not the first for some reason?). So, it took FOREVER to watch all of these films because they are all like 4 hours long and it's completely unnecessary. I mean, you can cut out at least 1/2 of all the shots of the ring and hobbit feet close-ups (gross) and you would save 30 minutes from each film right there. But I do appreciate the epicness of it all. 

2. The Two Towers - I actually think I might prefer this one slightly over the first one, even though I ultimately ranked it below (the first is just the bones of the whole series). The Battle of Helm's Deep is one of the most memorable scenes of the whole series and it's just absolutely stunning. This is actually the only thing I remembered about this movie, though. But I enjoyed this rewatch. It just flows really well. I think everyone feels really comfortable with their roles and you can feel the comradery and bond between them. I also like the additions of Karl Urban (!!) and Miranda Otto. Also, I noticed that Bloom's eyes kept changing color from the bright sky blue to his normal brown and it was very distracting. I looked it up and apparently he had a hard time with the contacts they made him wear. I kind of appreciate that they just went fuck it - do the scene without them instead of forcing someone to possibly damage their eyesight. But I'm also surprised that they didn't just fix it in post? It's not like the color of his eyes ever looked real. Anyway, I think this one is the easiest to watch - it's really beautiful, has some funny and emotional moments, and a clear story. 

3. The Return of the King - This one is fine. I rated it 3.5 stars mainly because it looks so good and it's a satisfying conclusion to this story. But it's hardly memorable. It's kinda weird that it won ALL of the Oscars when the first two are clearly better. It's also weird that it won SO many Oscars, but none of the actors were even nominated. I mean, Andy Serkis paved the way and set extremely high expectations for the future of motion-capture. And Elijah puts his ALL into these films. It's clear that the 11 Oscars were for the trilogy as a whole, so it's odd to not include all of the actors hard work too. Anyway, by the end of this I really thought "I swear to God if I see one more shot of dirty hobbit feet I will scream" and yet, I continued my marathon with The Hobbit movies. It also confirmed that fantasy films are just not my vibe. I appreciate the filmmaking aspect of these movies, but the whole elves, dwarves, orcs etc., is just not something I'm interested in. It will definitely be at least another 25 years before I ever have an inkling to watch these films again. 

The Hobbit:

4. An Unexpected Journey - So I realized that I never watched The Hobbit movies a few years ago and I thought I would fix that so I watched this one fairly recently (I think it was 2-3 years ago, but it also could have been 5). And it's...fine. But it definitely did not make me excited about watching the other two and I kept putting it off. I think doing a marathon of these movies definitely helped my enjoyment of all of them because the story is a LOT. There are a ton of characters and subplots and it's hard to keep track of it, plus the timeline of this prequel confused me on my first watch. I think the casting of Martin Freeman is kind of genius though! But the rest of the cast leaves a lot to be desired - there are NO hot people! Orlando isn't in this one (he's in the next two, but looks weird due to the de-aging makeup/cgi), and there aren't any Viggo Mortinsons or Liv Tylers to compensate. Just a bunch of dwarves. God help me. The biggest mistake that The Hobbit series makes though is dividing up the story into 3 parts when it's completely unnecessary. There's not enough story for 3 whole (long ass) films. I think it would have actually been great if it was just one film - I would have even been fine with it being very long. But I was very bored for a majority of these films. Every scene feels stretched to the max. 

5. The Desolation of Smaug - This is my favorite of The Hobbit movies. I actually think it's really good. Also, I was shocked to see Peter Jackson pop up within the first frame, and then I looked it up to learn that he actually makes a cameo in all of the movies! I didn't know that bit of trivia at all and neither did my husband. As I said, the CGI or bad makeup that they did for Orlando has the opposite of the intended effect - he looks 10 years older and he's supposed to be younger than he was in the LotR films. But I'm glad he returned for these - and I like that his character is more stoic in these because that shows how much the Fellowship changed him. And they at least added another hot guy - Luke Evans! I love him and his character so much (I would've been down for a spin-off with this character! - that's how they could have continued to capitalize on these films). As much as I liked this, I do think the effects feel lazy compared to the LotR films. The fights look like they are more video game effects - too smooth and just really uninteresting. 

6. The Battle of the Five Armies - And this is my least favorite of the whole series and the only one I rated less than good (I rated it 2.5 stars). It's not even really a movie - it's just a very, very long battle. Just battle after battle after battle. There's no more story left, and it feels pointless. But the worst part is that it looks bad. I don't think the other two Hobbit movies look as good as any of the LotR films because I think this was more of a cash grab than a genuine love of this story, but they still don't look terrible. But this one does. And they add in a weird love story between characters that nobody cares about (apparently it's in the book, but not a big focus). I question why these films are prefaced with The Hobbit because Bilbo is sidelined for a lot of these films - it's more about the dwarves than anything else? I was just really over it by the end of this. The only interest I had was in Evan's character, otherwise this is so dull and ugly. 

Ranking: 

Fellowship

Two Towers 

The Return of the King 

The Desolation of Smaug 

An Unexpected Journey 

The Battle of the Five Armies