2. Spider-Man 2 - So going into this marathon, I would automatically list this one as the best one, and I'm happy to say that it's still true! When this one was released, I had just moved to Philly. I saw this in a packed movie theater in South Philly and I remember about 1/2 way through the ENTIRE theater started yelling "E-A-G-L-E-S" and I had no idea what was happening (and was a bit startled by it all). But it was a great introduction to Eagles fans (aka all of Philadelphia). I still don't know what triggered the chant or if it was just a random audience member just decided to start it, but it's a moment that is burned into my memory forever. When I'm a senile 95 year old chanting "E-A-G-L-E-S", you'll know why. Anyway, this one continues the strong villain with Alfred Molina as Doc Ock. I think he's probably my favorite villain in the Spider-Man universe. The scene in which he kills all of the doctors is genuinely terrifying. There's some really great shots/scenes in this too - the scene with the car coming through the window!!! Brilliant! The entire train sequence?? Brilliant! And the ending is really sweet - "Here I am standing in your doorway. I'm always standing in your doorway". Tobey is definitely good in the boyish innocence part of the role. Tobey's Peter and Kirsten's Mary Jane are the couple I rooted for the most in these movies. I also like Harry taking over the Green Goblin villain arc, but that becomes a huge mistake in the next movie. Plus there's Joel McHale before the hair transplant! I love Joel McHale.
3. Spider-Man 3 - And this is the one that I would describe as the worst of the Spider-Man movies, but I've only seen it once when it was first released. That was almost 20 years ago, so I thought maybe, just maybe, it's not as bad as I remember. I think it's widely considered the worst one, but I still had hope that maybe we were just overly harsh. But NOPE. It's a genuinely bad movie. It's a mess. There's way too much going on - Sandman is the new villain (and a weak one, at that), Harry, as the Green Goblin, is trying to kill Spider-Man, and they introduce Venom. Plus, the non-existent love triangle between Peter, Mary Jane, and Gwen Stacy (played by Bryce Dallas Howard??? Why don't I remember that?). It's a lot. And I have a vivid memory of Peter being all emo and doing his little dance - and that is still just as disturbing on this rewatch. It's 20 minutes longer than the first two, but it feels like an eternity. I think the only part of this I liked is Topher Grace, but mostly because I think it's funny that he's in this with Tobey considering his role in Ocean's Eleven was based on Tobey.
4. The Amazing Spider-Man - Okay, first things first, this bothered me in the previous movies, but they do it again here so I have to bring it to everyone's attention: WHY on Earth do they not hire actresses with the corresponding hair color??? They hire blonde Dunst as redhead Mary Jane, redhead Howard as a blonde Gwen Stacy, and now in this one they hire another famous redhead, Emma Stone, in the blonde Gwen Stacy role??? Make it make sense!!! They all look terrible with the dyed hair. I'm pretty sure they hired Stone as a misdirect, so that everyone would assume that she's Mary Jane, but that's just stupid. ANYWAY....I didn't mind the Andrew Garfield era of Spider-Man. I think my biggest complaint would be that they are unremarkable (except for one scene in the sequel, but we'll get to that). They're just...there...existing. Not bad, not good. I do love the cast. Andrew is a good Peter Parker - he's awkward and introverted, but friendly and charming. It's really the Spider-Man dialogue that does him dirty - some of those lines are wildly cheesy and combined with his trying-too-hard New York accent, it's painful. Emma Stone is adorable. Sally Field is probably my favorite Aunt May (I love Marissa Tomei too, but having a "hot" Aunt May is still jarring to me). I love the relationship between Field and Garfield - they genuinely seem like family and that they care about each other. And Denis Leary as a NYC cop?? No-brainer. But guess what? I just rewatched this a month ago (I'm, once again, behind on my posts), and I could not tell you who the villain is to save my life. Like I said, everything about it is unremarkable. Oh WAIT...this one does have my favorite Stan Lee cameo out of all of them. So that's something, I guess.
5. The Amazing Spider-Man 2 - So this one is bad. Not as bad as Spider-Man 3, but it's still bad. Mostly because it's boring, but also because the villains are ridiculous and the actors who play them lean in to the cheesiness a little too hard. Jamie Foxx is the worst offender - just awful. But also Dane DeHaan is also not very good - some of that line delivery is laughable (and I usually like him. I'm pretty sure I liked him in this on first watch? I don't remember). I didn't even remember that Felicity Jones was in this?? How weird! BUT, this one features a scene that I personally think is the best scene out of all of the Spider-Man films. ALL OF THEM! And that's the scene in which Gwen dies. I remember seeing it for the first time and it took my breath away. And I even *knew* already that she dies (stupid internet!), and it still shook me. The way her body snaps is burned into my memory forever. It made me WANT a third movie - so we can see how this death effects Spidey in the long-term.
6. Spider-Man: Homecoming - I've come around to this movie - I definitely enjoyed it on first watch, but I thought it felt a little immature. I described it as "adorable" multiple times in my original post on it - and I still think that's the main takeaway. But I also think it's genuinely a good film. It doesn't have the same punch as Spider-Man 2, but it's very close to being my favorite of all of them. I really enjoyed this rewatch because I was able to have fun with it and not think about it in terms of the Avengers films. Tom Holland shines in this - and I think by the third one you can really feel his confidence in the role. He is the best Spider-Man, hands down. However, I still don't like Zendaya in this role. I find her whole "don't talk to me, I'm socially awkward" schtick to be super grating. She does the whole eye squinting to show emotions thing (I call it the Reese Witherspoon school of acting) and it drives me insane. And it's a shame because I actually like Zendaya!! I think she's stunning, I love her fashion sense, she seems really down-to-earth in interviews, etc., but I have yet to see her in an acting performance that didn't make me want to roll my eyes at her performance. And they obviously realized that the casting of Laura Harrier as the original love interest girl didn't work because she disappears (I think in the comics she becomes like Fire Girl or Fire Starter or something like that...lol). But Michael Keaton as the villain??? *chef's kiss*. And the scene in which Parker discovers that he's his prom dates dad??? SO GOOD. One of the best reveals of modern film history. I remember everyone in the theater gasped (including myself!).
7. Spider-Man: Far From Home - This one is a big letdown from my rewatch of Homecoming. I increased my original rating of Homecoming from 3 stars to 4 stars. I was hoping for the same with this, but nope. It's a solid 3 star movie. I think the whole Mysterio plot is extremely dumb (and it doesn't make a bit of sense). Zendaya is even worse in this one. But I do think this one is cute and funny. I love the opening "I Will Always Love You" scene that recaps what has happened in between these movies because A LOT has happened in the Marvel universe that effects Spider-Man. I think it would have been better to keep this story small and personal - him dealing with Iron Man's death etc. They went too big. And it's mostly boring.
8. Spider-Man: No Way Home - I didn't actually get to rewatch this because apparently Sony are being dicks and not letting this be streamed on Disney+??? That's such bullshit. I'm not paying to rent a movie I already know is terrible. It's not old enough for me to not remember it (although I do have a bad memory so some of it is hazy). I'm sort of shocked that I rated it 3 stars on LB, even though my review tears it apart. I didn't like it. You can read about why on this blog somewhere. I do hope when I eventually rewatch it, I won't hate it as much, but who knows when that will be!
Ranking:
Spider-Man 2
Homecoming
Spider-Man (2002)
The Amazing Spider-Man
Far From Home
No Way Home
The Amazing Spider-Man 2
Spider-Man 3
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