Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Thursday Murder Club - I rated this 2 stars, and that is very generous. I just can't give a film starring these legends, directed by Chris Columbus, less than 2 stars - my conscience won't allow me. But, it's a bad movie. It also feels like it's trying to remind us all that all these great actors are going to die soon and that's just...not fun. Helen Mirren is 80! Pierce Brosnan 72! Celia Imrie 73! Jonathan Pryce 78! And Ben Kingsley is 82!!! I hope they all live to 100! But they're all in a retirement home being old in this and I found it very depressing. And I can't seem to get away from Naomi Ackie?! Why is she in everything? She has such a dumb, blank look on her face in everything I've seen her in (and she's been in A LOT over the last 2 years). Anyway, this whole movie could have used a LOT more humor to make it more watchable. I laughed a few times (when they tell Helen Mirren "you look like the queen" LOL and when she drew the guy's privates in her drawing class). The whole mystery is also just really dumb and uninteresting. I figured that there would be a connection to the original murder case that they talk about in the beginning. I think everyone is trying to jump on the success of Knives Out, but they forgot that they mystery needs to be clever for it to be successful. I think it's hilarious that they ended it with the hope for sequels??? I mean, I can see Netflix greenlighting sequels. I just don't think it did very well? I only saw a few bad reviews when it was first released and then I haven't seen anyone mention it since. 

2. Honey Don't! - Well, I fucking hated Drive Away Dolls, so I really hoped this would be a lot better. It's...fine. Definitely not as grating as Dolls, but still not a good movie. I love both Aubrey Plaza and Margaret Qualley, but neither are consistently good actresses. I mean, I thought Qualley was wildly miscast in Dolls, but I think she's great in this. I would watch more stories based on her character, and it's also her singing on the soundtrack and she has a beautiful voice (when she's not trying to do a weird accent). Plus, her hair is spectacular! Plaza, on the other hand, is the one miscast. She does not do crazy well (I know everyone praised her performance in Legion, but I thought she overacted by a mile). She ruins the ending (it's a dumb ending anyway, but her over-acting really hurts it). AND Chris Evans is in this too??? Fucking kill me. I think the main story is good - investigating a Scientology type cult and their involvement in a possible murder, but it gets muddled by the disappearance of her niece. And it does become a little boring - I actually fell asleep for a few minutes but conveniently woke up right before the sex scene between Qualley and Plaza. Overall, it's a 2.5 star movie, which is miles better than I was expecting. Oh and the opening credits are great! 

3. The Naked Gun (2025) - This is a weird movie to reboot considering what a classic it's become and how iconic Leslie Nielsen is. But, I think casting Liam Neeson is actually spectacular choice - he has the same dry humor/sarcasm/straight-faced gullibility that Neilsen had perfected. And I'm delighted that he met Pamela Anderson during filming this and they are now in a relationship. I've always seen this sadness in Neeson's face since the tragic & unexpected death of his wife (Natasha Richardson), but she died over 15 years ago, and I think Neeson is finally allowing himself some happiness. I'm really hoping he has a happily ever after. And Anderson is so funny in this - her scatting is one of the best scenes of the year. Overall, I enjoyed this very much. I laughed quite hard at more than a few scenes - the "let's get retarded in here" line destroyed me. I cried laughing and needed to pause the movie to recover. Such an unexpected line and the delivery is absolutely perfect. I also enjoy that it's the plot of Kingsman, which is a spoof in and of itself (of Bond films). It's just a lot of fun, and a spoof movie that's done right - it's very silly, but also hilarious. I hope they make at least 3 more. My only criticism is that they under-use Paul Walter Hauser a bit. He's very funny and I think he could have been in the forefront of scenes more often. 

4. Weapons - I really liked this. I really liked Barbarian too (same director), so I had high hopes for this and I went in really cold. I knew nothing about the story just that it's about kids disappearing. I didn't even realize Julia Garner is in this (and I don't like her, in case you're new here). I do, however, LOVE, Alden Ehrenreich and Josh Brolin. But the highlight performance is Amy Madigan as Gladys - a character that will go down in history as a legendary character in horror. She's SO GOOD - I am talking Oscar nomination worthy. I doubt it will happen (because, you know, horror), but she's THAT good. I wasn't fully sold on the movie in the beginning - it's a little boring, and I hate when films show the same scene over and over again. This takes you through the different character perspectives, but it doesn't really show you anything different with each perspective. I think if it were cut down to 90 minutes it would have been a lot more effective. But, I started to really appreciate what it has to say - there's a clear allegory about school shootings. How parents send their kids to school and then never see them again. But, I think the idea that we, as a society, use children as weapons, especially within social issues, is more prevalent and interesting (there are a lot of "but the kids!" when discussing trans and gay issues, they are banning books that deal with racism, etc. all because of "the kids!" but the true danger for children is guns). I like that this film is DIFFERENT and ORIGINAL! And it has something to say!! It has a strong ending, too - the kids running at the end is HILARIOUS. I started to look into the director, Zach Cregger, more and I had no idea he is the guy from The Whitest Kids You Know!! That's so funny! And he's married to Sara Paxton! I love her and just as I thought "where the Hell has she been, I don't think I've seen her since Shark Night", she shows up in this! Overall, I think it's a solid horror movie. I liked Barbarian slightly more, but this is good! 

5. I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025) - Okay, so between the years of 1996-2002, I was obsessed with Ryan Phillippe. Like, obsessed. Like, how I am now with Taron Egerton, but this was high school/college teenage girl obsessed, so there were posters on my wall, in my locker, my school books were covered with his picture, and I watched every single movie he was in at least a dozen times (yes, even movies you've never heard of like Little Boy Blue and Homegrown). But the film I watched THE MOST was I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997). It was one of my favorite movies when I was 16 years old. I thought of rewatching it before watching this remake, but it's one of those movies that I'm terrified is actually bad and I don't want to face that realization. I was expecting this remake to be terrible, but I actually thought it was decent! Certainly flawed, but I was entertained and I like this group of young actors - especially Madelyn Cline. I like Chase Sui Wonders too, but the wig they make her wear in this does her NO favors. I'm not the biggest fan of the guy who plays Prince Eric in the live action Little Mermaid and the actress from the plane is horrific (I don't know who she is, but the first thing I saw when I googled her is that she's engaged to Matt Healy and that tells me everything I need to know about her). Plus they bring back original cast members JLH, SMG & Freddie Prince Jr.!! Obviously, SMG's character is dead so I assumed it was a flashback or something, but her scene is SO GOOD. I remember a lot of the sequel (Brandy!!), but I don't remember watching a 3rd one (it was a direct-to-video version that was unrelated to the original, so that's probably why I skipped it). But I couldn't really remember what happened to Freddie's character so I made the terrible mistake of looking it up while I was watching this. *MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD* I was like "WAIT he becomes a KILLER???" I don't remember that happening in the sequel, THAT'S BATSHIT! And then I realized that he becomes a killer IN THIS ONE. So, I spoiled myself on the ending (*note to self: STOP GOOGLING while watching movies!!). I realized quickly that if it was him, then the girl that works with him is also involved (she seemed shady from the beginning so I probably would have guessed it was her). I sort of love that they took a BIG SWING with this, because the original took some pretty big swings - they actually kill TWO of the main characters. It felt more dangerous and intense! I think that's the mistake in this one - there's a whole hour and nobody important dies. There's also a whole lot that doesn't make sense (like how the original murders have been "scrubbed" from the internet, but some random podcaster knows about it. And obviously they wouldn't let Cline's character back in the house - it's a CRIME SCENE. LOL.). I also don't like that they made them older. This was a teen horror film. They had just graduated from high school - so 17/18, but these friends are supposed to be in their mid-20s. I just think teen horror has gone by the wayside and that's a shame. I remember so many good horror movies about teens when I was a teen (Scream, obviously, but also Disturbing Behavior, Urban Legends, The Faculty, Final Destination). Anyway, I was entertained though - it's probably a 2 star film if not for the nostalgia of the first. BUT - and this is a big, all capitals BUT - they have JLH say THE iconic line "What are you waiting for??!!!" and that's an instant 1/2 star upgrade and then *another spoiler* BRANDY shows up at during the after credits scene!!! HOLY SHIT! Another 1/2 star! Making it a 3 star movie! Nostalgia for the win!