Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Predator - This wasn't as terrible as I was expecting it to be. For the most part, I would describe it as a fun action movie. I recently watched the original for the first time (and by recent, I mean probably 3 years ago, which seems like it was only 3 months ago.), and it was so satisfying to finally understand all the famous dialogue that is constantly being quoted. I appreciated that this new version stuck to being "new", instead of creating a remake that is shot-for-shot. I think it fails in its dialogue, though. There were two funny moments - having the guy from Moonlight (I'm too lazy to look up his name) yell "Get to the Choppers!" referring to a bunch of motorcycles (it was expected, but they did it in an unexpected way), and when they describe The Predator as "an alien Whoopi Goldberg". I actually spit my coffee out with that joke. However, the rest of the jokes (I hesitate to call them that) were really not funny, instead they were really dated - they ranged from "your mom" jokes to calling a kid with Asperger's "retarded". The cast does a good job trying to make the dialogue work, and they seemed to be having fun, which is extremely important in movies like this. I'm glad someone gave Olivia Munn something to do. I feel like she's in a lot of movies, but she always ends up having like two lines of dialogue.

2. Hotel Artemis - Extremely disappointing. I was so bored that I kept pausing it to do housework, because that was more stimulating. I adore the cast - Sterling K. Brown (also coincidentally in The Predator, which I watched directly before), Charlie Day, Jodie Foster, and a brief appearance from Jeff Goldblum. I thought that it was a spin-off from John Wick because I heard that they were creating something about the hotel for assassins, but I guess this was just a copy of that idea. And copy they certainly did. There was absolutely nothing original about it. They even did a hallway fight scene - Jesus Christ, Hollywood, how many hallway fight scenes do we have to sit through? You're never going to top Oldboy, guys, so just move it along. The only other thing I have to say about this dull movie is that I miss Jodie Foster. I forgot how wonderful she is. She used to be one of my favorite actresses when I was growing up, but I don't think I've really seen her in anything in decades.

3. Instant Family - You guys, I have to admit, I cried. UGH. There are just two wonderfully powerful moments about feeling unwanted and unloved that are really touching, and I just couldn't help myself. I wasn't expecting it, but it just happened. The tears just started flowing and they couldn't be stopped. Marky Mark and Rose Byrne are a fantastic comedic match, and they seemed like a very real couple. The story is based the writer/director's real life experience of fostering three siblings, which is probably why the story felt so genuine. The highlight is Isabela Moner - what a fantastic young actress! I looked her up and apparently she is going to be Dora in the live-action Dora the Explorer movie(s). That has the potential to be a pretty big franchise (for kids, obviously), so good for her! Anyway, this movie is super cute, a little bit too gushy, but overall, I really enjoyed it. I've thought about the possibility of fostering, or even adopting, one day. It seems like such a heartbreaking process, though, and this movie certainly doesn't make me feel any better about it (which is obviously the opposite intent).

4. A Star is Born - Where to begin?! When this movie was first announced, I just COULD NOT picture it. I absolutely adore Bradley Cooper (if you read this blog, then this is not news to you - Alias fan FOREVER). He's so talented, so he deserves every ounce of popularity that he has gained over the last 10 years (I don't think many knew his name before The Hangover). But, I had my reservations about him directing a very popular remake, and casting Lady Gaga as the main star. I don't have anything against Lady Gaga, per say, but I'm not really a big fan. I just don't like any of her music (other than the song Born this Way, which got old really quickly). However, when a teaser trailer was released, the buzz was very strong, so I gave it a watch. And, I was blown away. Just from 2 minutes of footage. I was mesmerized by the song that was featured. Unfortunately, I missed seeing this in theaters (I specifically waited to take my mom, and to my surprise she had already seen it! The nerve!). I was really confused by all the traction that the song "Shallow" made in the weeks after the film was released, because that wasn't the song from the trailer, until suddenly it was. It's the only song that was talked about. And that is my only complaint about the movie. I watched the entire fucking thing and the best song comes on during the end credits. It's called "Is that Alright?" and it's the best song of last year, and should have won every award given out last year (even Best Picture). I get chills listening to it, and Lady Gaga sounds phenomenal. I get why they went after "Shallow" so hard, especially after watching the movie but ultimately, it's very frustrating. And speaking of "Shallow" (which is a song that I do enjoy. I had no idea Bradly could sing. UGH. Just one more reason to love him), I'm not really a sappy person, but I literally burst into tears when she gets on the stage and sings it for the first time. It was such a cliche, but I fell right in the trap. It's just such a powerful moment - and I credit Cooper for making that moment work so well. Anywho, overall, I liked this movie a lot. I've never watched any of the originals, but it's not hard to guess the outcome. Even with the story being so well-known, there is still a lot to unpack about relationships, jealousy, toxic masculinity, substance abuse, fame, etc. I think the editing could have been a little tighter, but otherwise it's pretty great. OH WAIT - three more things: 1. Bradley Cooper is gorgeous, but he's so greasy in this movie. WHYYYY. He looked like the main guy from The Walking Dead (but at least that guy has an excuse to look like that). 2. Are we supposed to think that Lady Gaga is ugly? Is that an actual thing that people think? I don't get it. And I saw many articles about how she "bravely" went without makeup for several scenes, and if you believe that for a second, I have some magic pills I would love to sell you. Let's chat! 3. I screamed out loud when Eric Weiss and Arvin Sloane appeared. So wonderful.

5. Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse - I don't say this a lot, because I don't really know much about animation, but wow - the animation is incredible. The way that it moves, the 3-D effect, and how it seems like there is a camera panning, is mind-blowing. I feel like this is a game-changer, as far as animation is concerned. I also loved the voice actors, and how ridiculous the story gets (Spider-Pig...lol), but ultimately it is a very typical superhero story. I read many reviews that call it the "best" Spider-Man movie, and that is so wrong (I know, I know, opinions can never be right or wrong...but sometimes...they can be, you know?). I've also read many reviews that call it the "best" superhero movie, and, um, seriously? Hyperbole, much? It's such a trendy thing to say that something is the "best" of its genre, but honestly, I will never take anyone seriously that uses such hyperbole in a serious way. I know I use hyperbole quite often, but it's been a long time since I've said a modern film was the "best" of its genre (I think I'm combining this frustration with the more recent reviews of Us, which I haven't seen, but a review that was highlighted in the commercial called it the "best horror movie of all-time". I repeat "all-time". That's just fucking hilarious, right there.). Anyway, this is a super-cute superhero story with phenomenal artistic achievement. I highly recommend it.