Thoughts on 5 Films ***Halloween Edition***

1. The Boogeyman - I don't usually do the whole horror movies in October thing that every other film buff seems to do (I watch all genres all year long), but I got a small stomach bug the day before Halloween and was unexpectedly stuck at home for two days so I decided to make it a spooky marathon with 5 new horror releases from this year. I had heard some mixed reviews on this one, mostly negative from film people I trust, but I didn't mind it. It's too well-acted and well-filmed to give it less than 2.5 stars, in my opinion. The story could have been stronger, and the jump scares were hardly scary, and it all felt very average. But, average does not equal bad. It just could have been better and less cliched, I think. I know that this is based on a Stephen King short story, but I think there have been other Boogeyman movies made, right? I've never seen any of them, but I always thought that "Lester Billings" was "The Boogeyman", but that's not the case in this (although I guess you can interpret it that he is, but I feel like the film is inching the other way). I also picture "The Boogeyman" as more of a man, not an actual monster. It's also weird that they don't just....turn the lights on? Like the woman has her hallway lined with candles in order for it to never be dark, but lightbulbs are far easier??? On a side note - that moon ball light is pretty nifty huh? I would have loved to have that as a kid (I kind of want one now!). Anyway, as I said, the acting is strong and keeps the film from completely falling apart - the girl from Yellowjackets is an incredible young actress. And the girl who plays Princess Leia in Obi-Wan is also very good (I think she's good on Obi-Wan too because she's supposed to be annoying). Chris Messina as the sexy, depressed dad is perfect casting. And Marin Ireland! She's great and should definitely be in more stuff. 

2. Cobweb -  *spoilers ahead* This is probably my favorite of the bunch (although Totally Killer is a bit more fun). I think it just does a really good job at creating a creepy atmosphere without feeling like every other horror movie. There are some genuinely intense scenes (like when the teacher visits and the father holds the hammer - my whole body was in a cringe position). It's clear that things aren't as the little boy thinks, and that his parents are protecting him, but they are also complete psychopaths, so killing them was the right thing to do anyway. And casting Lizzy Caplan and Anthony Starr as the psychopaths is a wonderful move, because they are both excellent here. The little boy (from C'mon, C'mon) is a terrific little actor and I think the whole movie hinges on his performance as this sweet, innocent boy who is just trying to do the right thing. The reveal scene is executed really well, and still a little surprising, even if you've figure it out. There's a bit of a Barbarian meets Malignant (both recent horror movies that I liked). It also goes full horror slasher for a whole scene towards the end, so if that's more your thing, you'll still have a lot of fun (I tend to like a bit more of the slasher horror, sometimes creepy atmosphere just isn't enough for me). 

3. Totally Killer - This is a really fun movie. I think some of the praise is a little much (it's fun, but still a 3 star movie. I saw someone say it's a 10/10 movie. I mean, c'mon!!). I'm not sure if I've ever told my Kiernan Shipka story? Well, I was a stand-in for her on a movie she was in right before she got the Mad Men gig (yes, I am tiny enough to be a stand-in for a then 8 year old girl when I was 26ish LOL). She was a very sweet girl, especially in comparison to the other child actor starring in the movie who was a total little asshole (and I've never seen him in anything after that...I don't think?). I'm rooting for her, and I hope she stayed just as sweet (I can't believe she's in her 20s now. Nothing makes me feel older). Anyway, as I said, this is fun. I think it overdoes the whole "wow the 80s were so not woke" thing to a point where it becomes a little annoying. I also think it's SO DUMB that she goes to school right after her mom is brutally murdered (which is a very typical horror movie trope that I wish they would stop doing. It's just dumb). I do like that it embraces the whole Back to the Future element, and runs with it. It's like a mix of Back to the Future, Happy Death Day, and Freaky all mixed together. Some of the 80s jokes worked really well, though, it just felt a little unbalanced with shoving too many of them in. I appreciated the dodgeball scene with her being like what the fuck is this shit and getting hit by that hard ass dodgeball (that ball hurt! people used to get hurt in gym class!). And they kept talking about the ride "the quantum drop", which I had no idea what they were talking about until I saw it and it brought back a flood of fair memories (we called that ride The Gravitron). Also, when she gives the cop the "DNA" evidence and he looks at her like "what the fuck am I supposed to do with this?" and throws it on the floor. I laughed. Kiernan is great - super cute and has great comedic timing. I do hope to see Liana Liberato in a starring role, soon, though? I thought with Scream VI she would land something big, but she's still a sidekick character in this (and not even the main sidekick!). 

4. Five Nights at Freddy's - This is one of those films that I can confidently say was not made for me, and I feel bad giving it a bad review for this reason. I will say, it's not terrible, definitely not as terrible as some of the reviews have claimed. I don't even think it will make my 10 worst movies of the year (It is at 8 right now, but everything changes in Nov/Dec). It's just clearly a kids movie - and as some are referring it as "a gateway horror", there's enough kills and gore for it to be "horror", but it's still made for teens. And, gamers, I think? (I think I saw that it's based off of a game? I have no idea. Sorry, I'm old). It's also SO WEIRD that the same movie released with Nicolas Cage just a few years ago (Willy's Wonderland), but for adults (the creators of FNaF should definitely have sued, in my opinion). I just think it takes itself a little too seriously, and as a teen I would have still enjoyed something like Totally Killer over this. Plus, it's not like "gateway horror" is a new concept (Goosebumps, Are You Afraid of the Dark, etc.). I do like Josh Hutcherson a lot, and I think he does a good job leading this. I also like Becks from You! I don't think I've seen her in anything else before, but she's adorable. ALSO, horror icon, Matthew Lillard is great casting (and obvious that he is a bigger part of the story because he's horror icon Matthew Lillard, but I think that probably goes over the intended audience's heads). Also, on a major aside, and a major gripe I have with Hollywood, is that I looked up the little girl's age because I don't understand why an 8(?) year old girl would have a haircut like Amelie, and guess what? Her age has been scrubbed from the internet. AN 8(?) year old girl is already being told not to divulge her age. One of the film websites has it listed as her "playing age range is from 8 to 14". So fucking stupid. 

5. A Haunting in Venice - What a fucking snoozefest. I could have fallen asleep had I not watched it while waiting for trick-or-treaters. And such a weird cast of people who don't click at all. Tina Fey is so miscast in this, it's almost hard to watch. And then Jamie Dornan (who isn't always the best actor, he is certainly not a chameleon. He's only good in very specific roles), who is reunited with the little boy from Belfast - who is inexplicably dressed like Eggsy from the Kingsman movies. Plus, Kelly Reilly (who is far too good for this movie) and two of my favorite up-and-coming actors - Kyle Allen & Emma Laird who both have very little to do. Combined with Kenneth Branagh's overacting, it just doesn't work. I think it's weird that this one seems to be favored over Branagh's previous Agatha Christie adaptations, Murder on the Orient Express and Death on the Nile, while I think the exact opposite. With Orient Express, I already knew the story so I focused a lot of production (and it is a BEAUTIFUL movie), and with Nile, I wasn't as familiar, but even though it was obvious, it was still fun to see how the mystery unfolded. I couldn't care less about the outcome here. I guess, I'm not usually a fan of gothic horror mysteries, and this is more in line with that genre, I think. It's just plain boring. And I wasn't wowed by any of the production - it's very flat and felt like any person with a camera could have done the same thing. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. No One Will Save You - This is a really cool little horror movie! I really liked it. Superbly creepy and has a good story. Plus, as I've said a few times before, Kaitlyn Dever is a STAR. There are very few young actresses that I think will be lasting actresses like Meryl Streep, but Dever is definitely one of them. She is so engaging in this and it has ZERO dialogue! Do you know how hard it is to capture an audience without any words?? (although, I would totally talk to myself in this situation..."what the FUCK was that?" etc.). I think the thing that I like most about this movie, though, is that it's never really clear what is happening with her actual life. Her home is invaded by aliens (really cool looking aliens. I love the design - it's like a classic alien design but still feels original and also terrifying the way they extend their limbs. It gives a weird stop-motion effect that I dig), but the more interesting part is that she's living all by herself in this gigantic house that is decorated as if it's from the 1950s. There's an entire retro vibe - she doesn't use any technology, is styled as if she's living in the past, is obsessed with getting mail from the post office that is collectible miniature houses. But then she goes into town and the cars are all present day cars and the people in the background are using cellphones and laptops, plus the grave that she visits has 2022 dated on it. It creates this whole other mystery of what in the fuck is going on? I actually thought at one point that she was the invader? Or something to that effect because the tagline is "an invasion you'll never see coming", so I thought there was going to be a crazy twist. They never really give clear answers as to why she lives like this, although they do answer why she is shunned from the town and its people. I guess she's like a shut-in, but it's odd to be a shut-in and regress to a past decade from before you were born. Anyway, this is a really solid film - written really well and fully thought-out. It makes sense that it's from the writer of Love & Monsters, The Babysitter, and Kong: Skull Island - because all of those movies are solid as well. 

2. Flora and Son - This is a cute movie, similar to Apple TV+'s other cute movie, CODA, and that movie went on to win Oscars!! Still so unbelievable and ridiculous...but anyway. I really like Eve Hewson and she is perfectly cast here with her musical roots (she's Bono's daughter). She was great in Behind Her Eyes, and she played Marian in the Robin Hood movie with Taron Egerton. They had zero chemistry, but I don't think that was either of their faults. Although, I don't really think she has much chemistry with JGL, here either. But the reason the movie still works for me, is because it's not really about the romance. It's about her connecting with her son, and finding something to be passionate about. I think that's definitely something I connect with because I just don't really care that much about anything. I do love movies and tv, and I enjoy writing my thoughts down, but I don't really think it's something I'm extremely passionate about (and I think the current state of film nerds has lessoned my interest even more). I like doing a lot of different things, though, so I try my best to force myself to do things like painting, hiking, reading, etc., because otherwise I would be a big lump sitting on the couch binging garbage tv. I've been up and down with John Carney's films (loved Once, enjoyed Begin Again, but hated Sing Street - I know that's an unpopular opinion, but it's a stupid, cliched movie), but I do appreciate that he sticks to a musical drama genre. However, the songs featured in this movie are AWFUL. The "meet in the middle" song (I don't know what it's called and I refuse to look it up because I don't want to be reminded of it - that's how bad it is), is repeated way too many times and every version of it sucks. And the son's rap is hilarious, but I'm not sure that it's supposed to be? The way she's like "my son is so talented" and invites all of her friends to hear it makes me think that the song is not intentionally supposed to be bad? I'm so confused. The song at the end is kind of cute, but that's about the only nice thing I'll say about the music featured here. And I do think that JGL feels out of place in this, because he's too big of a star for this mediocre role. Jack Reynor is good, though. He gets miscast a lot, but he's actually a good actor (and when he's in something that he's right for he suddenly becomes very hot to me. That bland Transformers movie? Not hot. This? Very hot.). I was a little nervous by the fake out at the end, when they make it seem like she is going to get her "freedom" when her son goes to juvie, and I was going to be irate at how shitty of a person she is, but that doesn't happen, so *phew*. So, it's a cute movie. Nothing more, nothing less. 

3. Meg 2: The Trench - I don't really understand the love that The Meg received - it wasn't nearly as fun as it should have been. It was actually kind of boring. I obviously wasn't expecting much from this and I was right. It's pretty on par with the first one, except the acting is better (Ruby Rose in the first one was painful!). It's obvious who the "bad guy" is from the beginning, but the little twist of the other traitor is actually funny (we know she's turned evil because...she takes her glasses off! It literally makes no sense), but it is FAR stupider. AND I just can't believe that Ben Wheatley directed this. THE Ben Wheatley - the director of such original and fascinating films like Sightseers, Kill List, etc. With this and his Rebecca remake, I'm just really disappointed that this is where his career is right now. Aside from the fact that this movie is just plain dumb, it also looks terrible. The scuba suits that they wear literally look CGI?! There is no way the actors are actually wearing those. It's so fake looking. Also, going back to the stupid part - the scene that Jason Statham survives swimming in the deepest part of the ocean by blowing the pressure through his ears (or whatever the fuck he does) is the fucking funniest thing I've seen in a while. It doesn't start to get fun until towards the end when the meg attacks a resort island with a bunch of vacationers, but by then I was already over the whole movie. Also it should be called *The* Meg 2: The Trench.

4. Cassandro - Gael Garcia Bernal is one of my favorite actors (probably top 10) and has been since Amores Perros (which is still one of my favorite films of all time - and why I will always be a fan of Inarritu), which was released 23 years ago. He's incredible in this, and probably will land in my favorite performances of the year by the end of 2023. I do think he's a little too...old...for this role. They don't really say how old he's supposed to be, but the sense is that he's on the younger side for most of the film, like in his late 20s. But Gael is clearly a man in his 40s (a very sexy man in his 40s, but still in his 40s nonetheless). The rest of the film, is just ok. I'm not a fan of wrestling, MMA, boxing etc., I just find it all so ridiculous. And wrestling is probably the worst one because it's all so fake and pre-written. How do people get so excited for something that is fixed? It never will make sense to me (although there are also a lot of conspiracy theories going around, especially in NJ, about football being the same - although not exactly pre-written, it's all fixed for which teams are going to win). It's a good story, though, about this "exotica" wrestler who defies expectations and gains an audience rooting for him, rewriting the results of the matches. It's definitely interesting, and groundbreaking in terms of wrestling (although, to me, wrestling is, like, a super gay sport...). It's just not that interesting to me. The story drags a little. And I don't really like the actress that plays his, like agent of sorts. She's from the A League of their Own t.v. show, which I didn't really like (I know a lot of queer people connected with it, so I'm sad that it got cancelled so quickly, but...it...was...not a good show!). I also think they focus a lot on the beginnings of this "character", and then they rush through his rise to fame. It just feels a little jumbled to me. 

5. Strays - This is obviously a dumb movie, but it's also mostly funny and entertaining. It's like an R-rated version of The Incredible Journey. I think they did a good job with the voices - Will Ferrell and Jame Foxx have good comedic chemistry together, and Ferrell is really good at being that like earnest innocent character (ala Elf). I also really miss Isla Fisher?! Where has she been? She's so funny, and should be in more stuff! The beginning is really sad with his human being such an asshole, but it is very true that a dog will love you no matter what - you could be the most asshole garbage deadbeat loser and a dog will be like "you're the best human ever!!!". There are some very funny parts to this, that I laughed out loud to - like when they are like "drop the pizza, bitch" and then they run towards it in slow motion, when they are making fun of the other dog about the invisible fence and then realize that it's real, "the devil in the sky" is an ad for the post office, and of course, at the end when they are cursing at the post man. It's a little repetitive, and like I said, really dumb, but overall, I was never bored and I laughed. Mission accomplished. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. - I know that this received mostly good reviews, but I was a little skeptical going in. I thought it was going to be a little too cheesy and "feel-good", but I was wrong. It definitely does justice to the book by Judy Blume. I think Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, is probably her most famous book, but I LOVED Blubber - I genuinely think that it made me be a better person. I did not have the typical family dynamic, and I think in a lot of ways, I raised myself, with the help of books like this. I did connect to this book though, especially the religious stuff, as my mom is Episcopalian and my dad is Jewish. My mom did the same thing as the parents in this book did and that's to let me decide my own religion - I'm not sure if this is what caused me to not only be an atheist, but fairly anti-religious. I just find them all to be pretty cult-like and corrupt. I do think that there are aspects of different religions that are useful in raising children, though (like there's a lot of stuff that one learns in church school that you don't learn in regular school). My paternal grandmother was a lot like the one portrayed in this movie, and I did go to Shabbat with her a few times (she was relentless in trying to push me into being Jewish), although I would not have cast Kathy Bates in this role (again, not necessarily a problem for me, but this role is very specific in her being Jewish - why not cast someone actually Jewish??? It makes no sense). But, the girl they found for Margaret is perfect. And Rachel McAdams is INCREDIBLE. She made me cry! Like actual tears while I was IN PUBLIC (I was on a plane). How embarrassing! I didn't realize that this book also has the same message as Blubber (probably because my brain fused the two together), but I like that it teaches young girls to think for themselves and not follow the "mean girl" mentality (which is also an ironic genius move to cast Rachel McAdams in this - not sure if that was on purpose, but I LOVE IT). In this, it's sort of inverted because her group of "friends" make fun of a girl who they are actually jealous of because she's developed early (where in Blubber they bully an overweight girl). Like I said, I do feel like these books had an impact on my young brain because I've always been adamantly against bullying and cliques. Even now, I think working with mostly women, I see a lot of "mean girl" stuff and I always call it out and refuse to participate. I also had major flashbacks during the "I must, I must, I must increase my bust" scene. I can not express to you how important this scene was to me - not only did I do that exercise regularly (and no, it does not work, LOL), I had a t-shirt with the phrase on it that I wore all the time (I was not allowed to wear it to school though because it was apparently "too tight" and it "distracted the boys". I was sent home for wearing it, and my mom called the school and got in a fight with the administration and basically told them to go fuck themselves. I remember her screaming at someone over the phone "my daughter is in all honors classes and she has perfect attendance, I don't give a fuck what she wears and you shouldn't either!" I loved that she stuck up for me. They also sent me home for dying my hair blue. And again she called them yelling.). Anyway, if I haven't made it clear - I really, really liked this movie. It's very funny, well-told, and full of so much heart. 

2. A Good Person - So after getting really emotional over Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, I mistakenly watched this movie right afterwards. And I cried like 4 times. ON A PLANE. It's not even that good of a movie, but I was really moved by Florence Pugh's incredible performance. I feel like this role is often so obviously "Oscar bait", that it almost becomes a detriment to ones performance, but Pugh's performance is quiet, stripped-down, genuine, and incredibly relatable. It's so weird to me that Pugh has given several Oscar nomination worthy performances (Midsommar, The Wonder, and Don't Worry, Darling) at the young age of 27, but the one nomination she has is for a mediocre performance in Little Women. I don't think she'll get recognized for this, either, which is a damn shame. I think Zach Braff tried to do something a little different with this - because it's not the downfall you expect. *some spoilers ahead* While a lot of people end up addicted to opioids after an accident, I don't think a lot of stories focus on the "accident" and the aftermath of such an accident. The story is that the accident kills two people and she was driving. She is adamant through the whole thing that it was the other driver's fault, but in reality she looked down at her phone to check the map (something every single driver has done) causing her reaction time to be delayed. The story is more about her accepting this truth - and it's heartbreaking. I always think about how when I was hit by a car at 10 years old, the driver was a 17 year old kid who had *just* got his license. The one thing that I vividly remember about that day is him in the waiting room with his parents and he was crying hysterically, and I was so confused because I was like "ummm...he hit me, why is he so upset?". But then when I started driving, and especially as I got older I always think about how traumatizing it would actually be to hit a child with your car. Or in this case have people die because of one careless moment - I do think that would be the thing that caused me to numb the pain with any and all drugs I could get my hands on (and I don't do drugs - I'll barely take an advil for a headache). But there is a lot to be said for forgiveness, of yourself and of others that may have caused you pain due to a mistake. The story weaves in this story of forgiveness very effectively. Braff is definitely a story-teller; I just don't necessarily think he makes good movies - they feel a little made-for-television for me. There's a lot of contrived plot points, and unrealistic dramatic moments that feel too forced. I think Garden State is made the same way (but it's been a while since I've seen it), and the style just isn't for me. But, Florence makes this a must-see. 

3. Sanctuary - I like this movie, mostly because it's very different. I had no idea what it was about going in, and I was hooked from the very first minute. It's weird because it's actually kind of...boring - once you get that it's a role play scenario and that she's a sex worker, the story starts to drag. But I was still also somewhat invested and interested. Margaret Qualley is a very strong actress (i.e one of the good nepo babies!). And Christopher Abbott really proved himself with both Black Bear and Possessor in 2020 - I've been interested in his career ever since. They are both so engaging that I couldn't take my eyes off the screen, and then it really pulled me in when she starts to dance around with her big hair (side note - I LOVE her big, wild hair, I don't feel like that is a popular hairstyle among celebrities anymore - everyone has pin straight, silky smooth hair and it's so boring) and he starts searching for a hidden camera. The camera work is SUBLIME, and she does full psychopath so fucking well. The powerplay and the psychological manipulation that switches back and forth is so interesting, and I honestly could not figure out who was going to "win". And then I started to question whether the whole thing was part of the initial role play scenario??? It's all very fascinating. I do wish it had a bit of a quicker pace, and some of the dialogue is a little cheesy. But overall, there are some really strong moments and I think it's a movie that is going to stick with me. 

4. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem - I'm definitely a big fan of the TMNT franchise - I used to watch the cartoons as a kid and I LOVED the movie that came out in the 90s. Or were there multiple ones? I think the one that I was obsessed with was subtitled Secret of the Ooze if my memory serves me right. I also didn't mind the one that came out about a decade ago with Megan Fox, but I just realized that there was also a sequel to that and I don't think I watched it? It must have been really terrible for me to not even be aware that it existed. Well, I liked this one too. I really like the animation style - it fits with the feel of the original cartoons. I also really love the updated version of April. Haters can suck it. This new version looks like the teenage version of a work friend of mine - seriously, same hair - beanie and all, same style, same glasses. When the ads were airing for this, my husband said "Holy shit, did they base April on Jamika???" and it made me laugh so hard. I don't think she gets to see herself represented in films like this very often, and that's what Hollywood is attempting to fix. It seems like a slow process, and I think sometimes they overdo things or change things for the sake of change instead of genuine reflection. But this was a perfect update. And I love Ayo Edebiri - and I love that she seems to be in everything. It's always funny when someone comes out of nowhere and then has like 5 big projects within a span of a year. I also like that they got kids to voice the turtles. There are some really funny moments and I LOVE the songs featured. "No Diggity" is one of my favorite songs - I listen to it all the time because it puts me in such a good mood. And then they ended with "Can I Kick It?" by A Tribe Called Quest, which is funny because I just watched the documentary that Michael Rapaport made about them and it put me into a 90s hip-hop spiral. 

5. Guy Ritchie's The Covenant - Is it for real called Guy Ritchie's The Covenant??? Ritchie really thinks highly of himself for someone whose most recent movies include the live-action Aladdin, which was horrible. I do admit, that I am a Guy Ritchie fan, but I just think he lost himself (perhaps because he was attempting to expand his efforts, which I can appreciate, or, perhaps it was for a big paycheck *grumbles*). I think Jake Gyllenhaal is such an interesting actor, and he just keeps getting better. He's excellent in this, as is Dar Salim. And it's an amazing story that I assumed was based on a true story, especially with all of the photos at the end. But it's not, it's just an amalgamation of several stories of American soldiers in Afghanistan and the local translators that assisted them during the war. In this story, this translator goes to incredible lengths and puts himself in a very dangerous position in order to save this American. When I started to look up the truth behind it, I saw articles that described it as "not based on a true story, but it could have been" and LOL...what does that even mean?? Every movie in existence can claim the same thing. ANYWAY, there's some really intense and memorable scenes, but I think the score is really mind-numbing and it almost put me to sleep! I also think the whole "I want them alive" thing is really stupid (and obviously happens in a lot of films), but in reality - they would just instantly kill him - just like they killed everyone else. The end. Maybe they would want the translator alive and torture him as an example of what will happen to traitors. There's also an interesting supporting cast with Jonny Lee Miller (I used to have such a big crush on him) and Anthony Starr - I don't think I've ever seen him in anything other than The Boys, and he looks good all scruffy and exhausted looking. Overall, I think the story will stick with me, mostly because of the real-world implications of the effects of the U.S pulling out of Afghanistan (we really just left a lot of innocent people that helped us, to fend for themselves). And it's very well-made and acted. It's a little shy of hitting that 4 star excellence, but it's still great. Definitely one of Ritchie's better films. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Elemental - Well, this is really cute. I like a lot about it. I really like the love story, which I think is rare for me, but these two are just so super cute together - and it's a nice story about two people from completely different backgrounds/cultures (i.e "elements") learning about each other and figuring out how to use their differences as complimentary instead of as an obstacle. It's also genuinely laugh-out-loud funny (I died at the sponge joke - almost cried from laughing so hard). I'm not really the biggest Pixar fan - I still think Brave is the best one, although I liked Coco and Onward. I think the rest of them are okay, but nothing above average (I know I'm upsetting a lot of people - Toy Story fans, Inside Out fans, The Incredibles fans, Cars fans....wait are there Cars fans?? I actually haven't seen any of those ones!). Most of my problems is the actual animation - they are just very busy movies, oversaturated and generic looking (with some exceptions, of course). This one is very beautiful though - it's difficult to anthropomorphize concepts like "fire" and "earth", but I think the animators did a really brilliant job at creating this world. I do kind of have some problems with the rest of the story - first as soon as Ember jumps for excitement at working in her father's store I said out loud to my husband "no young woman is excited about working in retail!" and lo and behold, that's what the story is about - how she is actually not excited about the prospect of taking over her father's store because it's not her passion, but she feels the responsibility of doing so because her parents sacrificed so much for her. I get it, and since it's a message to kids - sure, kids, follow your passion. But, in reality, and in, like a real adult world, you have to realize how incredibly lucky you are if you have parents that work hard so that you have a better life - and they give you a gift of a successful business. Maybe I have a personal bias about this because my husband is in this exact situation. His father is a political refugee from Cuba and worked his entire life to now own multiple successful business (liquor stores and now opening a pot store soon!). My husband has ZERO interest in liquor or retail but he now owns two liquor stores and he is so FUCKING LUCKY. And not just because of the money, although it's nice. I'm just talking about the comfort level of not really having to do much and be automatically successful. He went to school for electrical engineering and his "passion" would be to work for NASA or something similar - building new technology. But, if he really analyzes what he wants from life - do you know how fucking stressful working for NASA would be? How little life he would actually have? Instead he bought a house at 28 years old (!!), works 9:30-4, comes home and spends a few hours working on his own projects in his workshop, and has a hot wife (me! LOL, I'm kidding). Plus, we can travel wherever, whenever we want (and that's also a big passion of ours). I'm just saying it's a fucking GIFT. I've told him many times that if he ever wants to quit and follow his passion, I would support him but he always says that he has no regrets, and I believe him. This feels like I'm on a tangent, but it's very related to this movie. And it just kind of irks me that there are so many younger people who have this idea of following their dreams, but complain about not being able to afford to live. I think we can teach the younger generation about a happy medium, maybe? Plus, personally, I did do the whole follow the dream thing and then I realized that it was actually ruining my dream (working in film was making me hate film - now I do it as a hobby and I'm a lot happier). Anyway, that's enough of my ranting. Overall, I think this movie is really cute and I quite enjoyed it. 

2. Champions - This is exactly what I was expecting - a feel-good underdog sports movie with solid performances. It reminds me a lot of that Ben Affleck one (although I think that one was slightly better). I like when Woody Harrelson actually tries to act - I think a lot of times he just shows up and reads his lines. But he shows a little emotion here which is nice. Kaitlin Olsen is hilarious, but I definitely looked up the age difference because I feel like Woody could be her dad - but I didn't realize that Olsen is 48! I thought she was my age (42) and that she also looks really good for her age (could definitely pass for mid-30s). I guess the age difference isn't that bad, but the woman who plays her mom is probably the same age as Woody, so my point still stands. Anyway, I got a little bored with this because it's all very expected and cliched, but still cute. I also just really hate basketball - I don't really see the skill of running back and forth and shooting a ball in a hoop (and the fact that the scores are always like 116 to 84 prove my point - scoring is way too easy). 

3. Joy Ride - Not as funny as I was hoping for, but it's definitely an entertaining movie. It's like Bridesmaids and The Hangover minus the wedding stuff, and it's not as laugh-out-loud funny. There are some really funny parts, but I would mostly describe it as...cute? There's really only a small handful of more explicit jokes (like the vagina tattoo - "it's on the inside too" I laughed so hard), but it's mostly just a cute story of friendship and self-discovery. There is a little twist that I was not expecting, but I think it's a really good twist and I'm assuming that a lot of Asian Americans can identify with it, especially those adopted by white parents. It definitely provides a lot of depth to this need for self-identity relating to ones ancestry. I really, really love Stephanie Hsu (she should have won the Oscar Goddamnit!!), and Ashley Park is having a fantastic year with this, Beef and the current season of Only Murders in the Building. I also think Sherry Cola is hilarious!! I don't think I've seen her in anything before, but she feels like what Awkwafina tries to do, but Cola is more authentic (I'm not trying to be mean, but Awkwafina comes off as very fake and trying too hard, to me. Many disagree and find her hilarious. To each their own, I guess). The cast work together really well, and it feels like an authentic friendship (jealousy included). The K-pop scene is very funny, and I LOVE the Daniel Dae Kim appearance at the end (he's so hot!). It's also kind of stupid, because how do they have no luggage, but yet they have an outfit change in every scene?? How did they get out of the country without passports? They never really explain it? I hate when a big plot point is just dropped at the end for convenience. But overall, it's a cute movie. 

4. Theater Camp - I do NOT understand the love for this movie - it is beyond average and mostly annoying (just like theater kids! I kid, I kid...I'm allowed to joke about this because I am technically a theater kid *sad face*. I was a drama studies major in college and I also did show choir as a kid all the way until high school. I was far too cool for it once I got to high school! Hahaha, I'm kidding again...). I had really high expectations for this going in - it received fairly decent reviews and I saw a lot of people say that it's very funny. Plus, it has both Molly Gordon and Ayo Edebiri (The Bear reunion for the WIN!!). I didn't realize until afterwards that Gordon co-wrote and co-directed this, which makes me wish I liked it much more, because I really love her. It's just not very interesting and I don't care about the characters at all, and most of the dialogue is grating. And not very funny at all - although there are a few funny moments that I laughed at ("tear sticks are doping for actors" and his misunderstanding of "your boy has the BDE" are two lines I laughed at). It feels like it's trying too hard to be a mix of a Christopher Guest mockumentary and Wet Hot American Summer. I think my biggest problem is probably Ben Platt - I felt really bad for him with the whole Dear Evan Hansen fiasco, but I also just don't think I like him. I think the supporting cast is a little under-utilized because Jimmy Tatro is the clear highlight (and he's hot!). And there are some really talented kids featured - that's probably the nicest thing I can say about it. I wish they were given more time to shine. 

5. Fast X - I can not believe that there have been 11 installments in the Fast & Furious franchise in the span of 12 years. It's just so absolutely ridiculous, but I've seen every single one of them - and I've pretty much enjoyed them all. I couldn't tell you the plot of any of them because it all runs together in my head, but overall it's a fun series. But, after 11 films, it's hard to even think of something to say - the action scenes are obviously great, it's incredibly stupid, Vin Diesel can't act, etc. So here are my random thoughts about this one - first, I'm glad Charlize Theron doesn't have that awful haircut - you would think someone that stunning could have any haircut, but apparently not. Second, what in the fuck is Brie Larson doing in this??? And why do they always get like Oscar nominated/winning actresses to star in these films (Theron, Larson, Helen Mirren, Rita Moreno) but the men can barely act?? Larson is severely miscast in this (and I think she's been miscast a lot lately in these blockbuster movies. She's not a blockbuster actress, but she blew me away in Room and Short Term 12). Her line delivery is somehow worse than Vin Diesel and that says A LOT. Third, this feels very long - I'm sure the length is probably in line with the previous movies (I'm too lazy to look into it), but it drags a lot at the end and there's a lot of unnecessary stuff thrown in. BUT, as many people have said, Jason Momoa makes this film. He's the logical next person to join this franchise, but he just revels in this villain role and just absolutely smashes it - he's sadistic and unpredictable, but also shuns gender norms in such an unexpected way considering how hyper-masculine and testosterone fueled these films tend to be. It's so refreshing. I read some gossipy articles that said how Diesel was upset that Momoa stole the movie and that he "overdid" it, which I think is hilarious if true. What a man-baby. His performance is overdone, but it makes the whole movie entertaining - if it were a basic villain performance, the movie would have been...nothing. 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. The Flash - *some spoilers* Big surprise everyone: I didn't hate it! I think it was mostly entertaining. Some really dodgy CGI, especially for how much it cost and how long it was in post-production, but the story is actually interesting, and Michael Keaton is pure JOY to watch as Batman. It's a solid 3 star movie, which is better than most DC films (I think the only ones I rated 3 or above are Wonder Woman, Man of Steel, and The Suicide Squad. Oh and the Snyder cut of Justice League). Controversy aside, I think Ezra Miller is severely miscast in this role, HOWEVER, I think it's very challenging to do two versions of a character in the same movie - so I will give him credit for that. I just think that The Flash/ Barry Allen is supposed to be charming and likeable, and Miller does not give off that vibe at all (especially now!). He was outstanding in We Need to Talk About Kevin, and he should stick to those type of roles. I met him a long time ago (it was 2009ish for a movie called Every Day - wayyyy before anyone knew who he was and I think he was only like 17 years old. But, he gave me the CREEPIEST vibe in the world, just from a very short interaction). I think the rest of the cast saves this movie, though. Obvi, Keaton, but also Sasha Calle and Kiersey Clemons. And I think the film is genuinely funny. I was actually surprised at how much I laughed (mostly at the alternative universe stuff - like how Marty McFly is played by Eric Stoltz, and how Applebees is called Bananabees). Even though the story is a bit cliched with the whole Butterfly Effect, and the whole "trauma makes you a hero" trope, I still found it really engaging. BUT, and this is a huge BUT - why the fuck does it look this terrible? The beginning with the babies is actually horrendous. It looks bad, and it's also kind of like "what the fuck am I watching?" (I tend to like that people die in the DC universe because it's kind of ridiculous to pretend like buildings are exploding and bridges are collapsing but the "superhero" saves every single person, but nobody wants to watch babies in peril. And I don't need a whole entire scene showing him save them all in the most ridiculous way possible). I just think if a tv show on The CW looks better than your 200 million dollar movie then there is a larger problem at play. And the scenes with Zod never looked that bad in previous DC films, so what exactly happened here? And the scene with him going through the different universes is rough - the quick shots of "other" superheroes like Nic Cage's Superman is the worst of the worst as far as fan service goes (it's actually worse than the female Avengers shot - and I didn't think it could get any worse than that!!). I'm also SHOCKED that they got George Clooney. SHOCKED!!! I figured they could get everyone else - I even expected Christian Bale over Clooney. 

2. How to Blow Up a Pipeline - Well, this is one of those films that I read nothing but good reviews about, and I don't get it. It's soooo boring. It's touted as a "thriller", but there is absolutely nothing thrilling at all during its entire runtime. I think my biggest issue is that none of these actors are particularly engaging. I do tend to like Sasha Lane, and she is probably the highlight in this, but she doesn't really have much to do until the end. I've never seen Ariela Barer in anything before, and she is also strong in the more lead role, but the wigs they make her wear really distract from her performance (I'm not even sure if the shorter hair or the longer hair is the wig, or both? But the hair, in general, doesn't look like it matches her face). I can't stand Lukas Gage; I think he's a terrible actor and was BY FAR the worst performance in The White Lotus, but he's one of those "buzzy" new actors who everyone seems to be talking about. I think it's a strong story; especially in our current climate of protesters and strikes happening in the world. I think people forget that the whole point of these things is to cause an inconvenience and/or a disruption. And this is how we've secured so many rights for women, POC, LGBTQ+, people with disabilities, etc. I think it's a lot harder to fight against large corporations such as oil conglomerates as opposed to the government (I'm not saying it's easy, obviously it's still a struggle, but ultimately the government, in theory, is run by people, while oil companies are run by money and greed), so the disruption has to be larger and have a harsher impact. So it's interesting to see this happen from the perspective of young people trying to make a positive change by using something that is, at first, perceived as negative. However, like I said, this cast is just so dull and there isn't much to the story. Perhaps with a different cast and a quicker pace, I would have enjoyed it more? 

3. To Catch a Killer - I like this movie - it felt like a 90s thriller (especially with that poster!) and, for me, that's a good thing, but it also has more of a modern day gun violence topic that is relevant for today's audience. The fact that someone can set up camp and kill random people sharp-shooter style is such a terrifying thought, but obviously has happened with the Las Vegas mass shootings and the D.C snipers (which honestly feels like it happened 5 years ago - can't believe it's been like 20!). This film focuses on the more human aspect of the people responsible for catching these types of murderers - not only the stress, but the aftermath of failing, the guilt and responsibility of future deaths on their shoulders. It must be such a hard thing to experience, and definitely has a hold on ones mental health. It also focuses a little on the bureaucratic red tape that is often a detriment to solving crimes like this - there is so much pressure to just blame someone (anyone!) to appease the public, but it often allows for mistakes and further crimes. The way it's handled here sort of reminds me of the Boston Marathon bombings (wasn't someone else accused first? or am I thinking of the Atlanta Olympic games? There's just so many of these things now, it's exhausting and they are starting to blend together in my mind). Both Shailene Woodley and Ben Mendelsohn are really engaging and they both feel exhausted - they do such a good job of this realistic detective (as in they aren't superheroes; instead they are flawed and human). I didn't really need the scene in the slaughterhouse, but the end is really good and intense. 

4. Hypnotic - *some slight spoilers* So, I think this a very average movie, but it has a killer ending. I rated it 2.5 stars, but it could easily be a 3 star movie (which means "good" to me! I don't know how suddenly 3 stars is a bad rating for a movie? Everyone is so hyperbolic nowadays and it's so fucking annoying), but it also would have been a 1.5 star movie if not for the end. This is the type of movie that I think Ben Affleck should start avoiding - he always seems so lifeless. He should stick to comedy (as an actor) or directing (I love all of his movies aside from Live By Night). If he was more engaging, I would have definitely rated this higher. The supporting cast is really strong though - JD Pardo is a favorite of mine (he's so hot in that Sons of Anarchy spinoff!) and I think Alice Braga should be a much bigger star than she currently is. I also had NO IDEA that Robert Rodriguez directed this until I started reading the (very funny) Letterboxd reviews. He's usually a director with style, but this movie has no idea what it wants to be (I think it's trying to be a gritty noir, but it has too many sci-fi elements to make that work. It also feels like a low budget Inception...). They also make it seem like people under this "hypnosis" are akin to zombies, which makes the whole thing really unbelievable. The plot is very elaborate, and some of it is obvious (his daughter is clearly of Hispanic descent so I instantly guessed that Braga was actually her mom. And while Pardo isn't the biggest name, he's still a strong enough actor to not be killed off in the beginning, so I assumed he was still alive). However, like I said, the twist is incredible and it makes the last 30 or so minutes so interesting. It's just a shame that the hour before it already felt like two. It's also INSANE that there is a mid-credits scene that sets up for a continuation or sequel because LOL - there is no way this is getting a sequel. 

5. The Little Mermaid (2023) - While I still don't see the point of all these live-action Disney animated films, I do think this is definitely the best one so far. Halle Bailey is a STAR for sure. And she has a stunning voice. There was so much pressure on her, especially to sing one of the all-time great Disney songs, "Part of Your World", and she did a wonderful job of still feeling like the original but giving it her own little spin. I think she did a great job as Ariel, and that is coming from someone who holds the original film really close to her heart and sites Ariel as her favorite Disney "princess". I also think Melissa McCarthy as Ursula, is a clear highlight. She goes full camp, and it really works for me. But, I think the rest of the cast is a little rough. The guy who plays Prince Eric certainly looks the part, but he has, like, nothing behind his eyes. It would be fine, but I think this version tries to give him a little more substance and it just fails for me (ugh, he even gets his own song. Gross.). But, even worse, Awkwafina, as Scuttle, is truly one of the worst things I've ever witnessed. You may already know that I'm not a fan (I actually think she's a terrible actress), but we can all certainly agree that her voice is...the worst part about her...right???? RIGHT??? And the "Scuttlebutt" song is absolutely horrendous. There is also a scene in which Scuttle is under the water...talking. I understand that this is all make believe, but it should still stick to certain rules (like, fish and mermaids can talk underwater because that's where they live, sure, but a BIRD??). Also, it's quite weird that the STAR of one of the biggest Netflix series (Simone Ashley from Bridgerton) is in this and I don't even think she had any lines?? That's kind of embarrassing at this point in her career, no? I don't think I would have noticed the song lyric changes if I wasn't already aware of them (but it's still dumb...). I think my biggest problem with the movie, other than it being pointless, is that it just doesn't look very good in a lot of places. The beginning is very beautiful, but it also is soooo CGI heavy that it practically looks like animation (so again, the whole thing becomes pointless), and then there are certain scenes, like the "Kiss the Girl" scene that are very dark and grey because they take place at night and nobody knows how to shoot night scenes anymore because they all rely too much on CGI. But, I do have to admit, that I was entertained and if I were 10, I probably would be obsessed with it, so mission accomplished, I think. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Hijack - First of all, it is so Goddamn hard to figure out if something is a movie or tv series nowadays, right?? I, for sure, thought this was a movie until I went to play it and saw "new episode" in the corner. I mentioned it on Twitter and a few others thought the same. I think it might have benefited from being a movie, but I enjoyed this tv series nonetheless. It's action-packed, fast-paced, very well-acted, and had me guessing 'til the end. It's also very addictive - I watched the first 4 episodes in one sitting! Idris Elba is just such a watchable movie star. I really did hope he would take over the Bond role when rumors first started erupting, but it's too late for that now especially since they want to go younger. The first episode plays out very similar to that Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie (I don't feel like looking it up, but the one where he's the pilot of the plane that gets hijacked). I do think it falls into a lot of cliches and convenient storytelling (**spoiler** like how the co-pilot basically disappears from the end. Wouldn't they have her land the plane??), but ultimately, I think it's hard to create something new with such an overdone plot, and somehow they still make this series very entertaining. 

2. Secret Invasion - I didn't think this was as bad as reviews claimed while watching it. I found it perfectly entertaining and certainly not among Marvel's worst shows (that's probably Ms. Marvel and Falcon and the Winter Soldier). And I'm not even the biggest fan of Captain Marvel (I actually really didn't like it at all). It has a very clear, direct story, which I think is rare for Marvel stuff nowadays - I have such a hard time following it all now especially with the multi-verse. Plus, a BIG stand-out is Kingsley Ben-Adir. Just such a strong actor and he gives a really spectacular performance among a lot of others that are simply phoning it it or can't act at all - Sam Jackson and Emilia Clarke, respectively. I'm sorry, it's well-established that this woman can't act after Solo, Game of Thrones and whichever Terminator movie she was in, how does she keep booking such big roles? Her agent is fantastic, whoever they are. I do think that its big fault is that it's not very memorable. As I said, as I watched it, I was entertained, but now that I'm trying to write about it - I'm having a hard time even remembering what it's about aside from literally everyone being a skrull. Oh and a character that I've always disliked dies! I hope that actually sticks, but knowing Marvel, they will keep reappearing in everything. Oh and Olivia Colman! She seems like she had a lot of fun with this role. 

3. The Idol - I imagined this was pretty bad, but nothing prepared me for how truly awful it is. Definitely one of the worst shows to ever exist for so many reasons. First, and foremost, The Weeknd is one of the worst actors I've ever laid my eyes on. It's actually stunning to me that everyone involved just...went along with it? Nobody at the top said "maybe we made a mistake, let's recast?". I can't really say that Lily-Rose Depp is any better, so obviously the decisions made here are just deeply awful. I know that Sam Levinson and Abel took control over it after Amy Seimetz left, but they were supposed to be involved from the beginning, so it was always going to be terrible. I'll focus more on Levinson in a bit, but as far as Abel goes - he's supposed to be, like, this magnetic force of a character; someone who the audience can see as a slime ball, but we can understand how others have come under his spell. But he is far from magnetic; instead he's just...gross. Actually...repulsive. I saw the viral clip of him mispronouncing "carte blanche" as "cartay blanchay", and I do think that was done on purpose to show that his character is not who he says he is, but he does not sell this dialogue at all and that's why it becomes so funny and cringy. Plus, I've honestly never really had anything against him until this show - I know a few of his songs, I don't personally like them, but I never really cared enough about him to *dislike* him. BUT NOW...I can't stand him. His voice is terrible - so high and screechy. And as far as Depp goes, I think this role was just above her acting abilities. There is a key scene in the beginning that shows her "acting" during a photo session (which is foreshadowing in the most obvious form), but her eyes don't change or move at all. It's like watching a blank fucking slate and pretending it's The Odyssey (incidentally, the scene reminded me of that scene with Zendaya in Malcolm & Marie, in which she shows her "acting" skills, and it's actually painful). She's supposed to be a huge giant pop star and in order to do that one has to have a personality. It may be manufactured, but it still has to exist. There's just nothing here. She's a beautiful girl, and she has a very pretty voice, but is definitely the epitome of a nepo baby. There is no way she would have gotten anywhere without her parents. There is sort of a great supporting cast, but they ruin it by having Hank Azaria do a God-awful inconsistent accent, and Dan Levy is only in the first episode (but solid turns from Rachel Sennott, Da'Vine, and Jane Adams). Second, I was expecting something, like, bold and sexy - something that was going to maybe go a little too far and make me uncomfortable, but it's uhhhhh really tame. I think this is direct proof that tv/movies have become sexless because there is nothing in this that would even make me blush, but it was practically deemed hedonistic by the press and social media. And Depp was treated like a victim in many write-ups about this show, which is the weirdest thing in the world if the people writing those things actually watch the show (which is ultimately about how she's the one in control the whole time...duh). I hate when adult women are treated like they must have been coerced or pressured into doing sex scenes and/or nudity. Because, yes, obviously this does happen, but there are many women who have no problem with it and can make their own decisions about it. So maybe just assume that unless told otherwise? Or do we want to just keep placing victimhood on every woman for everything she does? A lot of women describe being naked onscreen as empowering and freeing, why do people feel like they need to "correct" those feelings? The poor girl states many times that she enjoyed filming the show and had no issues on-set with the things she was asked to do. Let's believe her? ANYWAY, talking about believing women, I think this show is a super weird choice for Miss Lily-Rose, more because of who her father is and what he's been accused of - it certainly parallels the narrative that women are manipulative, a narrative that her father's camp pushed so successfully. And I definitely feel like this is a statement of support for her dad (whether intentional or not, it's weird either way). Third, it's so clear that Sam Levinson wants to be Nicolas Winding Refn so fucking badly. I noticed it with Euphoria, but to be fair, there is some really good stuff in Euphoria. I don't like it as a whole (and I think when people reassess, they will realize that it's not as good as they first thought), but there are certainly parts of it that are very strong. But this? This is pretty much just a direct copy of The Neon Demon (which was co-written by Mary Laws, who is an Executive Producer on this show...coincidence??). Obviously, not nearly as good (I loved The Neon Demon). I started to look into the creation of this show and its inspiration, and apparently people are theorizing that it's about SELENA GOMEZ?! FOR REAL? I was a bit too old when Gomez hit her pop star heights, but I thought she was, like, this innocent Disney pop star? Was she sexualized like this? I'm not sure why that's so shocking for me, but I just never thought of her that way. There's a lot of other bad things I can say about this show (like when the character with the last name Finklestein uses like a dozen Jewish slangs within his first 2 minute introduction, or how Lily-Rose is supposed to be one of the biggest pop stars in the world but doesn't have 24 hour security with her???), but I do have one extremely positive thing to say about this show and that's Suzanna Son! From Red Rocket! I listen to her slowed down version of "Bye, Bye, Bye" ALL THE TIME. Her voice is so angelic and stunning - it literally gives me goosebumps. I'm sad she's in such a shitty show, but there are a lot of powerful people involved and I'm glad that she's getting the exposure that she deserves. Every time she sings in this, I said "now THAT is a STAR!". I love her so much. 

4. Jury Duty - I'm so in love with this series that I'm actually considering watching it all again. It's one of the most heartwarming stories I've ever seen. So many things could have gone *so* wrong, and yet it all goes so wonderfully right. First, and foremost, Ronald Gladden is a national treasure. Seriously, give him the Nobel Peace prize for being the kindest man on Earth. If you don't know what the show is about, let me explain - it's a faux docuseries about a group of jurors, but the twist is that 11 of them are actors playing roles and then there is just one non-actor (my dear Ronald Gladden), who thinks he is being filmed for an actual docuseries on jurors. If your first instinct is "that's so mean!", then you'd be correct. It is mean, and I've never liked any of those prank shows because it's all sooo mean-spirited. Which is why this is so fascinating and brilliant that it turns into such a sweet and funny series. No matter what they throw at Ronald, he chooses to be kind in every.single.situation. He doesn't make fun of the weird inventor guy; instead he befriends him and shows interest in his ideas. He doesn't tell on his fellow jurors when they do something that might get them in trouble. He genuinely takes his role as jury foreman seriously and tries to come to a fair verdict. He refuses to take money from a fellow juror after winning a (fake) betting game. And when a famous actor (James Marsden playing a version of himself) throws a tantrum, he forgives him. There is a point in which he says "this feels like reality tv" because they throw so much ridiculousness at him that it can't be real, but also, why would it be fake? And obviously, he is aware that he is ON camera (although he's not aware of all of the hidden cameras), but I just don't know many people who would pass ALL of these tests. I think even my patience would have broken at some point, and I'm pretty nice. The last episode made me cry (like actual tears) when they told him they were giving him 100k. That made it even better because he definitely was not expecting any financial windfall from participating on jury duty. I love the last episode because they explain how they accomplished everything and told stories about how it *almost* went wrong several times (like the bailiff saying the wrong name and then pretending like someone who worked there has that name LOL). The whole cast is extremely talented to be able to improvise so quickly and making it feel real for Ronald. It's definitely a different kind of acting to have to immerse yourself into a character with no real dialogue to work with. But the real winner, aside from Ronald, is Marsden. I've always been a big fan, but this made me love him so much more. He's up for some tough competition for that Emmy, but I wouldn't be mad at him winning. It's definitely a more challenging role. And if all of that doesn't peak your interest, then also let me tell you, it's very, very funny. I was crying with laughter within minutes of the first episode and I definitely could have easily binged all 8 episodes in one sitting but I had to work. There are so many funny moments, but some of my favorites are when Marsden learns he didn't get the role he wanted and he yells into the phone "Oh my God! Which Chris???", and when the one juror gets hurt and everyone has very detailed stories about him - and Ronald is so confused because he barely spoke to anyone, and when the accuser is on the stand and says "I had a hard life; they used to call me Jackpot Jackie because I was so rich" (she was also made fun of for being "tall and thin" LOL), and the whole Margaritaville scene is hilarious ("this is one of my top 20 favorite times at Margaritaville!"). The whole thing is just hilarious. And heartwarming. 

5. The Changeling - I watched the first three episodes and I AM IN. I am also stunned by the tough reviews??? Like, HOW?! Are you watching the same show? It has such an interesting structure, and feels so creepy while still feeling real and tangible. And the acting is incredible. LaKeith is KILLING IT! Just a stunning performance so far. *some spoilers for the first 3 eps ahead* I skimmed through a few reviews that touched on the fact that we see this woman's trauma of Post-Partem through a man's eyes, but where were all those reviews for Fleishman is in Trouble??? It definitely feels a bit racist that I was supposed to feel sympathy for an asshole wealthy white guy, but I'm supposed to see this black man with some financial struggles - who adores his wife and actively takes care of his baby - as a villain somehow? Plus, if during a PPD episode, a woman *kills* her baby, I think we're allowed to see how that effects father, and we see his multitude of emotions - from the love for his wife, to the guilt, confusion, and regret he has for how things escalated. Honestly, though...if you gave positive reviews of that shitty show, but are struggling to find the humanity in this show, I'm just going to call you racist (and there are lot. I specifically went and looked at several critics who reviewed both shows.). I know we are only 3 episodes in, so maybe the show dramatically shifts to show him as a villain, and if that happens then I will take it back, but I don't think that's how the show is going to go. Anyway, I'm excited to watch the next episode, and I feel like this series is going to explore so much more with the more mystical atmosphere. I have no idea how the story is going to continue or what it's actually about and I find that really exciting. 

Film Retrospective Part III: Thoughts on 10 Films (pre-1970)

1. All About Eve - [blind spot] I know I complain a lot about film length in recent films, but it's not exactly a new problem in film. There are a LOT of classic films that could be a LOT shorter and would be better for it, and this is one of them. I watched this a few months ago and that's literally the first memory that I have of it - it's just so long. Obviously Anne Baxter and Bette Davis are flawless, but it's kind of weird that Marilyn shows up for like a half of a second and she steals the whole damn movie! Talk about presence. I think I was expecting more with this, but I enjoyed it - there's just nothing extremely special about it, for me. 

2. Casablanca - [blind spot] This and Gone with the Wind are probably my biggest film blind spots. And I do plan on watching Gone with the Wind, but it's like 4 hours long, so I just keep pushing it down the list. My one takeaway from Casablanca is that I never, ever, ever want to hear "As Time Goes By" again. It's played through the entire movie so much so that I wanted to die by the end. However, I did get amusement by all of the classic dialogue that I knew was from this movie, but I never really had any context. It's insane how many lines have become part of our everyday dialogue even 80 years later. "We'll always have Paris", "Of all the gin joints in all the world", "Here's lookin' at you, kid", "I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship". There are just so many!!! I liked this movie a lot, and I'm surprised by what the actual plot is. I just don't think it's, like, the greatest movie ever made or anything even close. Humphrey Bogart & Ingrid Bergman are flawless, though. 

3. The Blob (1958) - [blind spot] I've definitely seen the 80s version, but never the original and let me tell you, this movie is HILARIOUS. It's weird that I was deciding between watching this or Bullitt not even realizing that Steve McQueen is in this too! I always thought his first big movie was The Magnificent Seven. I think of all the old school classic male movie stars, McQueen might be my favorite. He's just so effortlessly cool and a genuinely good actor. And also, people always said that my grandfather resembled him (he had those piercing blue eyes and ash blonde hair - he was also effortlessly cool). Although it's weird that he's supposed to be 28 in this and he definitely looks about 45. But back to this movie being hilarious - the actual blob is just so funny. Obviously, they did the best they could with the technology at the time, but I just couldn't stop laughing. I did enjoy all of the classic Americana locations like the movie theater, diner, supermarket, etc. 

4. The Producers (1967) - [blind spot] Another one that I've seen the remake of, but not the original, and I didn't really like it. But this is SO much better. Gene Wilder as Leo Bloom, is just such a naturally funny person - and he plays so well off of the actor who plays Max (Zero Mostel). On a side-note, I really do need Jeremy Allen White to play Wilder in a biopic, like NOW. And it's almost embarrassing that they cast Timmy as a young Wonka when someone like Jeremy exists - looks like him, and can actually act. ANYWAY, I found this movie very funny and entertaining even knowing the whole story. And the actual play that they produce is obviously offensive, but I can totally see how an audience can eat it up. There is definitely some underlying commentary about having mass audiences fall into "hive-mind" mentalities (paralleling with the hive-mind that allowed for the holocaust to happen), but it is very subtle and I don't even know if audiences in the late 60s realized it. I definitely don't think the remake shares this commentary - instead it feels far more slapstick. 

5. King Kong (1933) - [re-watch] I love all the King Kong movies (except maybe the Naomi Watts one? Which I don't really remember, but I know that I watched it). I watched this original one for a film class - I believe it was for a film technique class, so we focused more on the making of the film as opposed to the impact it has had on modern sci-fi films. I think for most of the population if you asked who the original "scream queen" was, most would site Janet Leigh (or even a more recent person like her daughter Jamie Lee Curtis), but Fay Wray is absolutely the FIRST "scream queen" (I was actually surprised that googling "the original scream queen" does give the correct answer). I would also say that this film has one of the most undeniably classic scenes in film history with the empire state building. The effects for Kong, are obviously terrible, but for 1933 they are actually quite stunning - especially the close-up stationary shots (the motion shots are where it's hard for a modern audience to adjust to, I think). 

6. Bullitt - [blind spot] I love watching a classic movie for the first time and seeing how many modern movies took inspiration from it. I've already mentioned Steve McQueen, but he really shines in this, and I think Brad Pitt stole his entire persona based off of watching this. There are so many films that went through my head as I watched this - like The Fugitive, The Italian Job (which I know the original came out around the same time as this), Drive, To Live and Die in L.A., the Bourne films, I could go on and on. This definitely paved the way for car chase sequences - and it was wildly invigorating to watch those classic cars speed through the streets of San Francisco. Loved it. 

7. Yours, Mine and Ours (1968) - [blind spot] This is another one that I've seen the remake without seeing the original, or in this case, even knowing that there was a previous version - the only one I knew existed is the one with Renee Russo! But unbeknownst to me, the original starred LUCILLE BALL! It's very cute, and obviously inspiration for The Brady Bunch (I'm assuming? This film was released a year before). There's a lot I like about this - Lucille is hilarious (obvi) - the scene with her eyelashes is very Lucy. Plus, her laugh is infectious. I also like how genuinely good this man is - he cares a lot for her, but also shares responsibility (of 18 kids! LOL what a nightmare), makes her feel wanted, etc. - everything a husband should be but I don't think was often portrayed especially in the late 60s. I do think the narration is terrible and feels so awkward that it ultimately ruined the film for me. Also, I think the saying "only the good die young" is a horrific saying for many reasons and I've always hated the Billy Joel song, but it's interesting that the saying actually dates back to ancient Greece (fun fact!). 

8. Rosemary's Baby - [blind spot] I thought that I had seen this, but I definitely have not. I'm not sure what movie I thought was this?? So weird. But it's even weirder because this is my mom's favorite horror movie. So I assumed that I watched it. I can understand why my mom had such a connection with it (she has a history of being manipulated and in abusive situations). It's not exactly scary for most of it, though. It's pretty much a drama (with a few creepy moments) until the last 25 minutes. But, man, those last 25 minutes are spectacular. Roman Polanski is a rapist but also an incredible filmmaker (two things can be true a the same time). Mia Farrow really got shafted, didn't she? She should have had a Michelle Pfeiffer level career. She's incredible in this - crazy that she wasn't nominated for an Oscar for this performance (but I guess the Academy ignoring actresses in horror films dates waaaaaay back). I also loved the pixie haircut and Peter Pan collars she wears. What a fashion icon. 

9. The Seven Year Itch - [re-watch, I think] I'm pretty sure that I watched this before, but I just don't remember much of it. Obviously, I remember its most famous scene with Marilyn Monroe in the white dress standing over the steam vent. But honestly, I think that's really the only scene worth remembering. Although, it is definitely entertaining and has some very funny moments. Seven years isn't very long for someone to start getting bored of their partner, so I always thought this sentiment was stupid. Like, if you're bored after just 7 years then you should definitely just get divorced (it's not going to get better??). It's obviously a little sexist, but definitely a product of its time. And also, Tom Ewell looks about 55 in this movie and he's supposed to be 38 (I looked it up because it's baffling, and he was 46 while filming this) and he definitely could not get a woman as hot as Marilyn Monroe so you kind of have to suspend belief for this plot to work (sorry facts are facts). It's also crazy that Monroe is considered "curvy" when her waist is that small. And once again, she steals every scene - her dipping her potato chip in the Champaign is so perfect. 

10. The Umbrellas of Cherbourg - [blind spot] Wow, what a gorgeous movie! I was a little thrown off by the sing-songy dialogue, but once I got used to it, I adored every second of it. It's a little crazy that as I was watching this I thought in my head "uhhhh is this the original La La Land?" and, yes, indeed it is. Obviously, La La Land is an "original" film, but the similarities and "inspiration" from this is stunningly obvious (it's my biggest issue with Damien Chazelle - I have LOVED all four of his films. Like, absolutely LOVED. They are so well-made and beautifully detailed, but they are all referential. And I don't think Chazelle has a style of his own. He's still so young, though. I think he's going to blow everyone away once he stumbles into some originality). Anyway, back to this movie, it's beautiful - and it's one of those films that the more I think about it, the more I love it. I love the production design, I love the first shot, I love Catherine Denueve (and her makeup!), I love the story, I love the ending, I love how the outfits matched the wallpaper, I love the whimsical feeling. Just all of it. Love.