Thoughts on 5 Films

1. We Live in Time - This was okay. Not great, which is disappointing. I didn't know much about it going in - just that it was probably a sappy romance in which one of them gets cancer (probably Pugh since I know she shaved her head for a film role a while back). And, of course, the carousal horse (that is conveniently cut off the poster?? LOL). I will never get over that carousal horse. It's just so fucking funny that they used it in a promotional image not considering that it would instantly become a meme and the entire advertisement for the film. I like both Florence Pugh and Andrew Garfield, but unfortunately I found the chemistry between them very lacking. I do like that she's a chef in this, though, because she loves to cook in real life and always does those cute videos on Instagram. I think my biggest problem with the film is that I just could not care less about this couple and there needs to be more to a story than "she dies of cancer". I also think it's WILD that Garfield would choose a role like this so closely after losing his mom to cancer. Why put yourself through that grief again? Do some comedies, my guy. It's good for the soul. Anyway, back to my not caring - I just questioned every scene. Why does she get so upset that he asks about her wanting kids? They are both in their 30s starting a new relationship - it's a perfectly acceptable question. It should really be the first question asked, in my opinion. You just can't move forward if you're on different pages with wanting children. But she's so rude and dismissive towards him, it made me hate her. And then there are these weird intimate scenes squished in-between completely unrelated scenes (like them in a bath together eating the driest cookies I've ever seen). Also, what the fuck is this cooking competition thing? Why is it so dramatic and why is this a thing that exists? All that food just...goes to waste? There are some things that I liked - like the scene in which she gives birth (aided by some fantastic character actors). I just wanted more depth. I didn't even come close to crying and I was in a pretty emotional mood.

2. You're Cordially Invited - It's crazy that a rom-com starring Will Ferrell and Reese Witherspoon is not being released in the theaters. What a time we live in! I also like the supporting cast a whole lot - Geraldine Viswanathan is hilarious, ditto for Jimmy Tatro. And Meredith Hagner is GENIUS casting as Reese's sister. But, overall, I found the movie cute, but never laugh-out-loud funny. I think the biggest mistake is making it a rom-com because Ferrell and Witherspoon have zero chemistry together, but they are funny together. Just make it a comedy without them getting together in the end? Even if they just become friends and their families become entwined because of this fiasco, but a romantic relationship is just...weird. I also think it's a huge mistake to side-line Tatro. I waited for the ENTIRE film for the strip-tease dance that they tease throughout the film, because it was obviously going to be the best part, and they don't even show it until the fucking end credits. AND THEN - they have THE BALLS to completely copy the best part of Anyone But You (the end credits). How embarrassing??? And they don't even do it as well. Overall, this is just very forgettable, but it has its moments. 

3. Anora - I can not believe how fucking funny this movie is. I had no idea. I can't stop thinking about it. My three favorite moments are: (1) the entire scene with the two Russian guys trying to keep Ani in the house and her just completely kicking their asses. It's visually hilarious - just two giant, tough Russian guys getting believably destroyed by this petite, but very scrappy, little girl from Brooklyn. And the fact that she doesn't try to fight them in the traditional film ways - instead she's more realistic about it. She bites and scratches and kicks her feet. It's just so hilarious. "she's a fucking little girl!" "she's not fighting like one!" (maybe he says "biting"? I'm not sure, but either work). (2) the line "I don't have Instagram, I'm an adult" LOL. More people need to take that advice. (3) when she starts calling Igor names and he doesn't understand why she's calling him that. "they say you're just born that way" as she shoves a fry into her mouth. I just couldn't stop laughing. Sean Baker is 3/4 for me (sorry, but I HATED Tangerine). I think this is, by far, his most confident film. And I hope he continues to focus his stories on marginalized communities and/or imperfect people because he's one of the few that gets it SO right. And Mikey Madison is incredible in this role. She's such a star. I want Demi to win the Oscar, but I wouldn't be mad if Madison takes it. She runs the gamut of emotions with this, and her Brooklyn accent is stellar. I also think it's really cool that both The Substance and Anora are getting so much recognition because neither of these films feel Oscar-baity AT ALL. I know that as soon as they both received such critical acclaim, they both went into full Oscar campaigning, but I don't think it started that way. As for the minor controversy, I do think it's crazy that they didn't have an intimacy coordinator on set. It's a relatively new aspect of filmmaking, but I think it's essential post-me too. It shouldn't effect the "realness" of the nudity & sex scenes if it's done well. It's basic human decency to have a third party there to ensure no lines are crossed. And even if the star declines it, what about all the other people on set?? I fully believe in women being allowed to do whatever they want with their bodies and I hate people who assume that young women in Hollywood are coerced into nudity and sex scenes. It takes away women's agency to make their own decisions. Yes, some women are coerced, but a lot aren't so I would never assume anything until I've heard it from that particular woman. But I still don't think it should be up to the star or the director to not hire an intimacy coordinator. It should be a mandatory part of filmmaking, so that sucks, but it shouldn't hold the film back awards-wise (and if you really want to look for controversy, then look at Baker's old twitter. Apparently he liked a *lot* of questionable stuff - like Kyle Rittenhouse stuff. It's shocking that people haven't made a bigger deal about it, but Karla Sofia Gascon has been destroyed (deservedly). I wonder what the difference is??? *she says sarcastically*). Anyway, overall, I loved this movie. There's a lot of heart, and a lot of laughs. Also, it's a shame that Yura Borisov is up against a lead actor in the supporting category because if Culkin were in the proper category then Yura would actually have a chance at winning! It's a perfect example of a supporting role, that doesn't even require much dialogue, that is essential to the film. 

4. Canary Black - It's been, like, three weeks since I watched this and I'm struggling to remember it. I know that I was in the mood to watch a dumb action movie with a hot woman kicking ass, but this was so bad that I could barely pay attention to it. The absolute worst part was the accents. Kate Beckinsale sounds weird as fuck. She's trying to do an American accent, but there's something wrong with her voice??? Is it the sound mixing? The ADR? It's so distracting. And I usually like Beckinsale, but the weird accent, raspy voice, mixed with her emotionless face (because she literally can't move it from botox, I presume), makes this her worst performance to date. Rupert Friend does a bad Scottish accent (for no apparent reason), and is OBVIOUSLY not who he is thought to be because they wouldn't hire a "name" for a minor role unless it wasn't a minor role. Just make them British for fuck sake. It wouldn't effect the story at all?? ANYWAY. On a side-note, I think it's weird that Beckinsale spoke out about being sexually harassed on film sets in response to the whole Lively-Baldoni fiasco. It screamed "look at me! I want to be the center of attention! even though this story has nothing to do with me!" - and it looks even weirder now that more info keeps changing the discourse, literally, every single day. But whatever. I have nothing nice to say about this - it's boring, the action scenes suck, it's poorly acted, and it's all very obvious as to how it's all going to play out. There's just not enough story here to fill an episode of tv, let alone a whole film. Oh wait - one nice thing is that I love Ray Stevensen! I think this might have been his last film? How sad. 

5. The Inheritance (2024) - OOOOOfffffffff. Two one-star films in a row. I saw someone describe this as Ready or Not mixed with Abigail, which sounds like a horror film I would LOVE. I also didn't know Joe Russo wrote this until I went to log it on LB and his review is listed at the top "I wrote this movie, so 5 stars, bitches!!" LOL. Sorry, Joe, but this movie is ass. Technically, Ready or Not mixed with Abigail is a fitting description, plot-wise, but in terms of quality, it's nowhere near the either of those movies. First, no offence, but these are all b/c-list actors. I don't even mind Rachel Nichols anymore (after she ruined Alias, I hated her), but when I see her in a movie, I assume it's not going to be good. I don't know anyone else's name from the cast except for Briana Middleton, who I thought was incredible in an otherwise mediocre movie, Sharper. But she's bad here. All of them are. It doesn't help that the dialogue is awkward and terrible (and it doesn't even make sense sometimes - like why do they keep stressing that the wife shouldn't be there because it's "immediate family" only? Significant others are immediate family members??? It would be different if he invited "blood relatives only" - then, no she wouldn't be invited. Maybe run this through a script reader first??). The kills are very stupid. And just when I was like, "okay, this is fucking dumb" *spoiler* the dead girl randomly jumps out of a painting. WHAT? Make it make sense?? And their "family knock" is literally the same knock that a random solicitor would use (to be fair, maybe they did that for comedic effect, but the movie isn't funny so any moments that are supposed to be funny land with a thud). I honestly don't even remember how this ends? Who gets the money?? Did they all die? I couldn't tell you. I think I may have already blocked it from my memory.