Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Twisters - **spoilers ahead** I appreciate a good ole' summer blockbuster - and this is exactly that. But, it's also not exactly great. It's...ok. Which I think I also thought the original Twister was also...just ok. Especially compared to the other summer blockbusters of the time (Jurassic Park, Men in Black, Independence Day, Speed, Face/Off, I could go on forever - there are so many good ones in the 90s). I think the whole storm chaser thing is so ridiculous - and the way they idolize it and turn it into influencer level hysteria is really dumb. But putting your characters in peril several times over the course of 2 hours is what a summer blockbuster is all about! I can't say I wasn't entertained, but I was definitely disappointed. I just don't think either Daisy Edgar-Jones or Glen Powell are ready to lead big films like this. They both have star power, but neither can work with bad dialogue (which this has a ton of) and they don't have any chemistry (I know I'm in the minority but that's not new for me). The bigger problem is that they make Powell the most annoying, pompous, asshole for the first half of the movie and then they are like "just kidding, he's actually the good guy". My husband commented towards the middle (after I announced "that's the new Superman!!" to him after spotting David Corenswet), "so does she end up with the Superman guy?" and I was like "no, she ends up with the Youtuber guy??? DUH...he's the star of the movie" and he was really upset by that. Mind you, he knows very little about pop culture so he doesn't know that Glen Powell is the new internet boyfriend. But there is no way in Hell he was going to root for the asshole to get the girl, and I get it. Anyway, I think the movie might have been FAR better if it actually starred the two people who die in the beginning. Daryl McCormack and Kiernan Shipka aren't exactly well-known names, but they are certainly scene stealers. I was shocked that they don't make it past the first 15 minutes. So, do you guys want to hear my "twister" story? Well, I'm going to share it anyway, because this is MY film blog that I treat more as a journal and just write whatever the fuck I want! So, there is a line in the beginning of the movie "twisters don't happen in New York" and while they are rare, they do, in fact, happen in NY. A tornado hit a nearby school when I was a child and it was devastating. It was East Coldenham Elementary School in 1989 - you can look it up, it was a big story. A few kids died. There is still debate about whether it was an actual tornado or if it was "tornado-like winds" or a "strong hurricane", but I'm here to tell you it was a tornado. My school let out early because of the weather, so I was on a bus heading home. Our bus driver suddenly stopped and told us all to get on the floor. We had no idea what was happening, but the bus shook really hard, some of the windows even broke. And then...nothing. We got back in our seats and saw - CLEAR AS FUCKING DAY- a full blown tornado had passed us. I don't think we were fully in it because we would have died, but we were close enough to it to feel the effects. I don't know why the Coldenham school did not evacuate like other schools in the area; nor do I know why they continued to let children eat lunch in the cafeteria full of glass windows, because even in a hurricane you're supposed to stay away from windows. But it's all very sad. I was 8 years old, and I think it was my first exposure to the fact that children can die. Well, anyway, after I've depressed myself and probably anyone who reads this, let's talk about that leather camera strap that Daisy wears in this movie??? I was so intrigued by it that I couldn't look away from it. Oh wait, I also want to talk about this poster because I saw so many people make fun of it ("the twister is BEHIND them" LOL) only to be corrected multiple times that it's called "TwisterS" with an "s" because clearly there is one in front of them too (and if you look closely there is a reflection of the other twister in the driver's side mirror. It's actually kind of a brilliant poster. You losers!). 

2. My Old Ass - The good reviews for this are surprising because I found it so boring, unoriginal, predictable, and poorly acted. And I was just annoyed by most of it. First, the main star, who I'm not familiar with, but reminds me of Larisa Oleynik from her Alex Mack days (which should, in theory, be a good thing), is very bad in this. She's very performative and seems like she's playing towards a camera with every gesture and facial expression. The character is also annoying and kind of stupid. The supporting cast is Aubrey Plaza, once again being Aubrey Plaza, a very underutilized Maddie Ziegler (who maybe should have been the star based on her performance in The Fallout - an incredible movie with incredible performances! Obviously Jenna Ortega is a big name now, but Ziegler has yet to find her push into the mainstream. I really like her though), and the guy from Wednesday who is absolutely not hot at all; nor is he a good actor. Second, the whole "older self warning about the future" should be interesting. But instead of focusing on all these apocalyptic type warnings that she hints at ("Nobody is allowed to have 3 children anymore" and "I miss salmon" are all swept under the rug, with the focus on "Avoid a boy named Chad" - which is probably good advice for all young women, right? The only other real advice is to be nicer to her family, but it's clear with her whole "Chad" focus, that clearly something bad happens to Chad. The whole movie boils down to the very popular saying "it's better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all". So, just say that, and be done with it. This movie just drags everything out and it feels about 5 hours long (it's only 90 minutes), and tops itself off with a Justin Bieber dancing & lip-syncing scene that made me want to slit my wrists. Also, 39 is not old, so FUCK OFF. And these two people look NOTHING alike. It's so stupid. 

3. Emilia Perez - There are some really varying reviews for this from people I trust - 1 star all the way to 5 star reviews. Which usually means I'll land in the middle, and this is no exception. It's a 3 star movie. I can see the issues with it, but it's also very inventive in its narrative, there's a few really strong scenes, and it feels modern. So, first I'm going to focus on the good - I went into this knowing very little about it. I knew that it starred Selena Gomez and Zoe Saldana, and that it had won some festival awards (I think at Cannes?). So, you can imagine my surprise, when I realized that it's a musical. And that it's in Spanish. And that it's about a sex change operation. The story is actually very interesting. I also think it's interesting that Karla Sofia Gascon portrays Emilia Perez before and after the transition (the makeup for the before is a bit bad, though? - Like, it doesn't look like a real person until after the transition). I think it's a huge mistake to push Gascon in the lead performance for awards season because Saldana is the STAR of this movie, and she is also the heart and soul of it. Submitting her for Supporting Actress is most definitely category fraud (it's getting worse & worse every year - they need to define the rules for these things and stick to them). There is one (yes, only one) stand-out scene and that's the one with Saldana in the red velvet suit dancing around the tables full of people. It's the only song that actually has a beat. Plus, the choreography and camera-work are incredible. As for Gomez, I like her. She's fine in this role, but not award-worthy. I think she's strongest in dry comedic roles (like Only Murders in the Building suits her so well. And I liked her in The Dead Don't Die). I was hoping for her to get a good musical number, but instead we get her rolling around on a bed and then she just screams a lot. It's the definition of cringe. The rest of the movie is a little silly (there's a viral clip from it in which a hospital staff sing about changing "a penis to vagina" that is insane). Most of the songs are really dull with no memorable moments or catchy beat, which I think is sort of essential for a successful musical. And there is really bad lighting throughout (especially the opening musical number). Overall, I appreciate the risks that are taken and that alone makes me rate it higher than I should. Plus, Rust and Bone (also directed by Jacques Audiard) is one of my favorite films of the last 15 years, so I'm probably biased.

4. Poolman - I expected a terrible movie (based on reviews) and that's exactly what I got. It will, for sure, make my worst of 2024 list. And I love Chris Pine (by far the best Chris). I'm happy that he's directing now, but after watching it, maybe he should stick to acting? It's probably not fair to even rate it, considering that I fell asleep for about 25 minutes of it. I couldn't even repeat the plot if I tried. It's *supposed* to be a homage to Chinatown (okay....I guess?). Obviously, the supporting cast is great - Jennifer Jason Leigh (I can't believe she's 62!!), Annette Bening (who must have owed someone a favor? Why would she do this??), DaWanda Wise, Danny DeVito, and apparently Ariana DeBose? I honestly don't remember her in it at all. Maybe she was in the part I slept through? Hahaha! Anyway, I like the quirkiness of it, it feels a bit retro, and I get what Pine is going for. He just made a very boring movie with very bad filmmaking aspects (the underwater shots are horrifically bad). It's just a terrible film.  

5. Thelma - This is cute. But that's about it. It's basically the same plot as The Beekeeper, which is kind of weird, but a sequel for The Beekeeper would be missing a beat if they don't cast June Squibb. I would love a team-up with her and the Stath. It would be hilarious. I love her so much, and I love that she is starring in a movie at the age of 93 (she's 95 now!). That's incredibly inspiring. I'm trying to change my mentality of getting old to "getting old is a privilege". It's a hard concept to wrap your head around because there is so much stigma and bad stuff that comes with getting old - your body stops working like it used to, your mind isn't as sharp, and the older you get the more death surrounds you. BUT, getting to grow old and experience the world for 95 years is such a gift. June is still out there - doing what she loves and living her life and it's SO COOL. She has so much fun with this role, too. Her timing with the dialogue is spot-on, and made me laugh out loud several times ("how can ZuckerBORG let this happen?" LOL). But other than Squibb nailing this, the rest of it is a little boring and predictable. 30 minutes in and I was sighing and thinking "okay...get on with it, already". AND WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE...I was just about to write about how it was also nice seeing Richard Roundtree (who has a very large role in this), and I *just* found out that he died last year and that this was his last role??? How did I miss that? That's so sad! He was so cool! Awww...anyway, I do like the rest of this cast - Parker Posey is always hilarious, and the guy from The White Lotus is going to start blowing up everywhere (I think he's in the new Gladiator movie, too?). The ending is cute too - how she only takes back $9500 (leaving him $500, after hearing his hardships), and then shooting the computer. On a related sidenote - my husband's grandmother is extremely computer savvy. It's kind of incredible. She's in her 80s, but hopped on the computer trend as soon as became a thing and grew with it instead of letting it intimidate her. She's lost a lot of her eyesight now, so she can't do as much, but I think it's funny that the whole family goes to her or my husband if they have computer issues. 

3 Thoughts on The Wild Robot

1. The Robot - I didn't know much about this before watching it. I was meeting my mom for lunch and a movie - and this was the only thing playing aside from horror movies (Heretic, Smile 2), movies I've never heard of (Here, Elevation), or movies I know my mom would hate (Conclave, Anora). So we picked this and I have no regrets! It's so good! The best animated movie I've seen since The Mitchell's vs. The Machines. There has been some great animated movies about robots (Big Hero 6, Wall-E, The Iron Giant), so I didn't know how this one was going to stand out. But it does. Roz not only has to adapt to her new environment (on an island of wild animals), she also has to learn about friendship, motherhood, and the laws of nature. All of it is done so well, and SOMEHOW, I didn't cry! Instead I left the theater feeling inspired and entertained. 

2. The Wild - Not only does this have a loveable robot, but it also has loveable wild animals, so OBVIOUSLY, I'm going to love it. The biggest "lesson" of the movie is that kindness is, in fact, a survival skill - something that A LOT of people would probably argue against. I think we've adapted the mantra that the "nice guy finishes last" and have run amuck with it, unfortunately. In theory, it's really cute - and a good lesson for children, but my mind kept wandering to - "but if all the animals are friends and take care of each other, how are they getting food???" In "the wild" animals will eat each other and it's survival of the fittest! They do mention this more than a few times, but in the end, the animals all band together and they ignore the whole eating each other thing. But, I know, I know, it's a kid's movie. And I know if I were a kid, I would have been obsessed with this - especially with Fink the fox. They do a great job of giving depth to these characters - Fink is a loveable "hated" character. I also like that it touches on how being different (or having a disability), i.e being a runt of a litter, still has its strengths within a community. Everyone contributes to society - you just have to find out how. 

3. The Rest - I think the thing about this movie that really blew me away is the animation - and I haven't really cared for modern animation in a long time. Especially from DreamWorks (I like a lot of their animated movies - The Kung Fu Panda movies, and The Bad Guys, but I still find the animation lacking that spark. OH WAIT - I just realized that Puss in Boots is not only DreamWorks but came out in 2022, after The Mitchell's vs The Machines - so that's probably the last animated movie I truly loved). But this movie is gorgeous. Simply GORGEOUS. I love the way it intertwines the relationship between technology and nature - it's so vibrant, detailed, and feels magical. I also think the casting is incredible because as recognizable as all the voices are, it's not distracting to the movie. Lupita's voice is so soothing and calm, it's so perfect for this character. Her supporting actors that surround her - Pedro Pascal, Kit Conner, Stephanie Hsu are all great. I think the only critique I have is Matt Berry, because his voice is SO overwhelmingly distinct that it was distracting. 

Thoughts on 5 New TV Shows

1. Nobody Wants This - This is SUPER cute!! I heard good things and I adore Adam Brody, but I instantly had my doubts when I realized the other main character (played by Kristen Bell - who I don't always love) is a podcast host, and her podcast is about her relationships and dating. I'm sorry, but I hate the whole idea of this - nobody fucking cares about your dating life. It's so narcissistic and annoying. But apparently people do care because this is what people do with their lives now - they listen to strangers on podcasts talk about their lives (like, MILLIONS OF PEOPLE. Even some of my co-workers - instead of putting music on in the stockroom, they now put podcasts on and I want to kill myself). Anyway, fortunately - this show is still good even though I hate this whole concept. The show is more about falling in love with the unexpected and life not going as planned. The biggest success is, in fact, Adam Brody because he's one of the most loveable men on the planet. I know a lot of The O.C. girls loved Seth Cohen - he made nerdy guys COOL. Every girl wanted their very own Seth Cohen (I didn't - I was always a Ryan Atwood girl. Reformed bad boy. Broods a lot. He's perfect). Brody takes that same Cohen charm, but as an adult - he's mature but still fun and silly, he's a rabbi (!!), and he's still just as awkward and self-deprecating. And very, very funny. I will concede that he is absolutely swoon worthy in this. And I love the relationship that forms between him and Bell. They definitely have chemistry - and they match each others wit. I think Bell is the weak link, but I expected that. I also just don't think her character is written very well - and she is very much a stereotype of a needy girl (she gets upset that he doesn't text her back because it's been 3 hours?? I would not survive that kind of relationship. Thank God my husband does not need constant communication. I always think it's really weird when my co-workers spend their break talking to their husbands/partners. Aren't you going to see each other when you get home?? I get when it's a new relationship, even though it's not my style. But my husband and I can go weeks without texting each other. I see him every day!). The supporting cast really, really shines - I think Jackie Tohn, as the bitchy sister-in-law, is the sneaky highlight of the whole thing. But, Timothy Simons is HILARIOUS. It's great casting to begin with (they definitely could be brothers in real life), and he's kind of the same character as Jonah from Veep, but it's in a completely different circumstances so it works really well. Plus, I love the friendship that is forming between his character and the sister (played by Succession's Justine Lupe). They are really funny together. And, of course, Tovah Feldshuh is a legend. I love that it's about a mixed faith relationship (well, he's Jewish, and she's not religious at all) - the problems they face due to their own customs, traditions, and expectations is explored in really thoughtful ways. Plus, it's laugh out loud funny - some of my favorite moments: 1. When the sister first meets the brothers ("what does Jewish look like to you?" LOL). 2. The line "I'm independently wealthy because my family is rich". 3. When Sasha is watching the movie and he says "you're a problematic weirdo, but goddamn it, you're a movie star!" about Tom Cruise (the love for Tom Cruise is at an all-time high right now and it is soul-crushing to me. It really shows that people do not care if movie stars are good or bad people AT ALL). There's so many more really funny moments, but you get the point. I think my only criticism is that Sherry Cola is underused. She is FUNNY. Please LET HER BE FUNNY! 

2. Agatha All Along - I didn't really like this show and I don't really have any solid reason why. It just didn't hook me and I felt like I had no idea what was going on at any given moment. They were going down the witches road for...something. I guess? And they had challenges along the way? BUT, I LOVE (most of) this cast! I was really interested in seeing Joe Locke in something outside of Heartstopper because I love him so much on that show - he's just the sweetest teenager ever and I want to give him a big hug and tell him everything's going to be okay. He's good in this too! A different role, and he does a decent job with it. But also - Patti LuPone!!! What a legend! And I'm a big fan of Kathryn Hahn (and have been for a while) - I'm glad she had so much success with this character that they gave her a spinoff, but I also find the whole exercise unnecessary. And love it or hate it, Aubrey Plaza continues to be Aubrey Plaza. I think the weakest link is Ali Ahn - I've liked her in past projects, but in this I think she was miscast (or they just wrote the character wrong) because she's, like, my age and she's working at Hot Topic and acts like she's a teenager? It's really confusing. And I usually love Evan Peters - although I'm so lost on his whole Marvel connection because he's Quicksilver in the X-Men movies but then he shows up in WandaVision as someone else (I think?) - and then he reappears in this and for some reason is doing a Sam Rockwell impersonation? I don't get it. And speaking of WandaVision, I really liked it, for the most part, but I don't remember much about it - and it seems essential to understand what's going on here. It was like 4 years ago - how do people remember things from 4 years ago? I have such a bad memory, it stinks. I try to do puzzles and things to help, but it doesn't. I think it's a coping mechanism (to forget things so easily), but it gets so annoying. Anyway, so *spoiler* Locke's character is Wanda and Vision's son and his whole goal is to find his twin brother (by following the witches road? I guess?). I like the reveal, but I also don't know why I'm supposed to care about any of these characters. The best part of the show is the end credits - I like the songs, and I like the nods to all the previous witch characters in the media. Also, "The Ballad of the Witches' Road" is a really catchy song. Annoyingly catchy. 

3. Doctor Odyssey - Oh my God, this is the stupidest show I've watched in a while - and guess what? I'm going to keep watching it. When the commercials for it first started to air, my husband had commented on how dumb it looks - he was like "there's a show that's like that 911 show you watch mixed with The Love Boat" and I laughed because that sounded pretty fucking stupid. I didn't really pay attention to the commercial during the multiple times he commented on how dumb it looks, until one day, I noticed PACEY on my television and was like "OH What's this?!!" only to realize it's the show that my husband had been ragging on for weeks. He came home and I said "I regret to inform you that I will be watching that 911 Love Boat show". His response: "of course you are". I will never not watch a show with Joshua Jackson, though. I've watched all of them - from Dawson, to Fringe (which is an excellent sci-fi show), to The Affair (which had an amazing first season and a decent finish), to Dr. Death, to the Fatal Attraction remake. He's so good in all of them, but ALWAYS STILL PACEY! But, I admit, this is, by far, the worst show he's ever done. It's actually TERRIBLE for so many reasons. For one, it is exactly like 911 in that it takes all these crazy scenarios (that may have happened on a cruise ship at some point in time), but they all happen to this cruise and these doctors - every week! There are like 4 or 5 extremely unlikely emergencies every episode! It's so stupid. I also think the whole love triangle (now turned into a threesome with the last episode I watched), is written like they are in high school and these are fully grown adults. It doesn't help that I hate the other two co-stars (she's from Hamilton, right? She's a horrible actress. And she's not hot, but I think she's supposed to be??). I will give them credit for somehow getting wild guest stars (Gina Gershon!! Margot Martindale?? Chord Overstreet?!). But the absolute most ridiculous thing about this show is that Pacey is supposed to be patient zero for the Covid epidemic and they keep referencing it and doing flashbacks and it's the fucking funniest thing I've ever seen. It's so trashy and dumb - maybe even too trashy and dumb for me? If it didn't have Pacey, I definitely would not keep watching it. 

4. Grotesquerie - I'm not loving this show and I kind of hesitated watching it because I think I'm finally over Ryan Murphy shows. He's going too far, I think. He needs to take a break and reassess - come back when he's ready to reinvent shit again instead of turning out the same stuff with different titles. This is basically an American Horror Story, just not as weird. It's like his version of Se7en - and I hate to make that comparison because it's not nearly as good, but it's basically the same story. So far, at least. I did decide to give it a go because I really love Niecy Nash-Betts - and she was so good in Dahmer. I'm interested to see what else she can do, and I appreciate that Murphy cast her to headline a series. I love that Murphy stays loyal to certain actors & actresses (although his love for Emma Roberts and Lea Michele needs to die - it's clear they are both very self-centered narcissists. And so many co-stars have come forward with their own horror stories about them. It can't be ignored anymore. Stop hiring them). But Murphy also has a tendency to stunt cast - like Kim Kardashian, and with this, Travis Kelce. Kardashian was not the worst, but Kelce is remarkably bad. I don't really understand the need to hire people who aren't actors for ACTING roles. Just for ratings? I don't think Kelce drove any hard ratings for this, did he? Football fans are not watching this. And Swifties are already using up their precious free-time watching football for Kelce, they're not going to also watch a bad horror series. Anyway, nothing about this show has gripped me - the whole nun part is somewhat intriguing because the actress is very charismatic and interesting (and she has a STUNNING voice - the scene with her singing in the car gave me literal goosebumps). But I also don't understand why they are suddenly in a shootout in the middle of the desert? I keep zoning in and out, though, so it's not surprising that I can't follow the plot. And I don't care about the main character, at all. She's a drunk, but she also insists on driving everywhere??? AS A COP? FUCK HER, I hope she kills herself before she kills someone else. UGH. Anyway, I'm 5 episodes in, and I'm hoping that it gets better (and I have a better understanding of what the Hell is going on), but I'm not counting on it.

5. La Maquina - So far, I like this show. I'm 4 episodes in - and I like the turn that it has taken. I thought it was going to be this underdog boxing story, which we've seen a million times. But the stakes have turned much higher with it being about this underground ring of people "fixing" matches and then making demands. I watched this for the Gael Garcia Bernal & Diego Luna reunion - I love them so much, and I hope they continue to act together until they retire from acting. Bernal is very much in his element with this role - he's charming and loveable even when he's being an asshole. He oozes chemistry on screen (that smile!) and he should be a much bigger star. Luna has become more of a household name with the whole Star Wars Andor character (good for him!), but I prefer him in quieter, independent projects. But in this he is practically unrecognizable - he plays someone who has had major plastic surgery and fillers injected into every crease of his face. It's so hard to look at! It's based on a true story (and a real person). I tried to look up some pictures of him to see why they had to make Diego look like that, but I couldn't find any (I didn't try that hard though! I'm too lazy for real research right now). But I'll never understand how people think they look better when they look all plastic and swollen like that. But to each their own! Not my business. This also has Eiza Gonzalez in this, but so far, she is underutilized. The story is interesting, but it's also very well made - the pace and editing is great. Like the cut from him being all hyped and arrogant going into the fight to him in the ambulance. We don't need to see the actual fight to completely understand what happened. And there is a really cool tracking shot in the beginning of the second episode (wait, maybe it's the 3rd episode, I forgot already), but it's extremely smooth and moves in and out between all the characters in the gym. I love when shots are so smooth like that that you almost don't even notice the technicality of it (I don't think most audiences notices stuff like that anyway, unless it's pointed out to them). I'm excited to watch the rest of it (I think it's only 6 episodes, which is perfect!). 

Movie Marathon: Scream

*This post contains spoilers*

1. Scream (1996) - This is one of my favorite movies of all time!! It came out when I was 15 and is a big reason I fell in love with movies. I was always a big movie person when I was a kid, but my mom wasn't, so I didn't have someone introducing me to movies like most kids do. I had my paternal grandfather who really loved westerns and war movies, but as a young girl, I did not really enjoy those movies (I do now). But I remember going to see this with my friends in the movie theater and for one, I was terrified - I had not seen too many "scary" movies and the ones that I had seen I thought were not scary or even cheesy (the only exception is Firestarter, which gave me nightmares because I watched it too young). And two, I fell in love with how well-made this movie is. The way it references other movies made me seek out those movies! I began my film journey by watching Hitchcock and Fritz Lang movies, and the original Halloween, which led to a whole new world of movies! Don't get me wrong - I loved a lot of 90s movies - Jurassic Park, Speed, Independence Day, and Bad Boys all come to mind - but those were different. And none of those made me seek out Hitchcock. It's weird to think of now, because I would much rather watch blockbuster action films over horror, but horror is where it all began for me. I went on to take an elective film class in my senior year of high school and then I double majored in film studies & drama studies in college - all because Drew Barrymore gets violently murdered within the first 15 minutes of this movie! And I still think this is the best opening scene to a movie OF ALL TIME. It's iconic. And I love how Wes Craven pays homage to other iconic horror shots throughout the rest of the movie (like the reflection in the eyeball, the knife slashing shots, etc.). And I think a lot of people credit Scream with the whole meta film experience, but I recently watched the Nightmare on Elm Street movies (I had only seen the first one, so I watched all the rest a few years ago) and Craven's New Nightmare is excellent and extremely meta (and was released a few years before Scream). But this definitely helped drive the whole meta film device into the mainstream and became the running theme through the rest of the Scream movies. The ending goes over the top a bit, but Matthew Lillard gives it his all and I love every second of it. His dialogue and line delivery at the end makes me laugh every time ("should I let the machine get it?" LOL perfect). Plus, this one has one of my favorite horror kills of all (aside from the opening), with Rose McGowan and the garage door - still slightly afraid of garages because of this if I'm honest. 

2. Scream 2 - This is where things get exciting for me because I've seen the original Scream probably 20 or so times, but this I've only seen a few times (but not since it was originally released) and the rest I've only seen once. So I'm excited to see if my memory is skewed by nostalgia (*spoiler* it was!) or if the original trilogy are *just* as good as I remember them. This sequel came out while I was still in high school (the turnaround for the first three was so quick!), and I saw it in the theater 3 or 4 times and I remember having a BLAST. Especially during the opening scene featuring Jada Pinkett Smith. The only problem is that it wasn't scary at all; instead the audience laughed their ass off (partially at how Jada dies. It's so fucking funny!). I was a big Jada fan back in the day (between this and Set it Off, she was a STAR), but now I realize she's a bad actress (and she's super weird). I know a lot of people are big fans of Timothy Olyphant now, but I was around for him back in the 90s (again with this, and then Go is one of my favorite 90s movies). There is a big success with the casting in this - some genuine 90s icons - Sarah Michelle Gellar, Heather Graham, Rebecca Gayheart, Omar Epps, AND Pacey!! And I LOVE that they got Tori Spelling to play Sidney Prescott in the movie version because she jokes about it in the first one (they also name drop David Schwimmer playing Dewey, which is funny because of the Courtney Cox connection). Plus this is the movie that both Neve and Courtney have the BEST hair - Courtney with that bob and red streaks - I longed for that hairstyle (I did the streaks, but my hair is too thick and curly for a bob). I still had so much fun with this - it's a little funnier than the first one and I think the reveal of the killer was genuinely surprising. Some of it drags a bit - like the theater scenes, and it was a big mistake killing Randy, but overall it's as good as I remember it. 

3. Scream 3 - This is where things get weird - because I remember Scream 3 being a disappointment, but I don't remember it being an actively bad movie. But....it's bad. And as I pressed play, I realized that I didn't even remember who the killer was so it felt like I was watching a new movie. I genuinely didn't remember anything about it aside that a lot of it takes place on a film set and Courtney's mini bangs have been placed in the worst haircuts of all time. I was surprised that the first kill is Megan Mancini/Lily van der Woodsen!! It's always such an iconic scene in the Scream movies, it's kind of crazy that I don't even remember her being in this. I kinda hate the whole meta aspect of this because it goes a little too far with the cast interacting with the actor playing them in a movie bit (they are doing this on the current season of It's Only Murders in the Building and it's THE WORST). Parker Posey, as much as I love her, is miscast because she doesn't have the same energy at all as Gale Weathers. She is really grating in this too. They definitely lead the audience to believe it's the cop (played by Patrick Dempsey), and for a few minutes I thought it might be (especially since it's a cop in the most recent one - I thought that was maybe a reference that I missed). I think this one is bad mostly because it turns Sidney Prescott into a stupid woman - and she was never stupid! Why would she wander around on this film set BY HERSELF? Why would she go into this cop car BY HERSELF? It's just so dumb. And some of the scenes don't look good (like the house blowing up). There is one really strong scene - the double-sided mirror scene, but other than that this movie is a doozy.

4. Scre4m - I've always listed this on the bottom of my Scream ranking even thought a LOT of film buffs insist that it's great. After this rewatch, I still think it's bad, but I do think that Scream 3 is worse so it's no longer on the bottom of my ranking. But I do think that this has the worst killer reveal in the whole franchise. Not only is Emma Roberts a terrible actress, she's 5'2" and 105lbs max. There is just no way she could physically overcome all of these people with her stature and just a knife. And Rory Culkin isn't much bigger. It's just the dumbest thing ever and it makes me so angry. I also hated the opening kill scene - the uber meta repetitiveness is so annoying (although I forgot it was Kristen Bell and Anna Paquin). I also think this one has the worst cast because, in retrospect, these were supposed to be Hollywood "It girls", but they picked all the ones who didn't end up being big (Lucy Hale, Aimee Teegarden, Shenae Grimes, Britt Robertson, Hayden Panettiere - none of them made it. That sounds mean, but it's true! And I like most of these girls!). Emma Roberts has had a modicum of success, but that's just because of Ryan Murphy. I'll forgive it a little bit with Adam Brody (and how weird that both him and Bell are in this - I didn't realize that while watching their new Netflix show) and Alison Brie. I did realize with this that I got the timelines wrong - I thought this started the rebooted Scream movies, but instead this is part of the original films and then the next one starts the "new" movies, which makes sense as to who the killer is in Scream 6 matches Scream 2. I think this one is a bit nastier and the kills are very gruesome, but bad acting combined with this dumb-ass ending, does not make a good movie. 

5. Scream (2022) - I remember being a little skeptical about this at first because I hated Scre4m so much. And like I said, I was definitely confused by the structure of the sequels and sort of counted the 4th one as the new batch of movies, but this one is really the reboot - and it follows the original in so many ways. And I know that everyone was upset at how it wasn't called Scream 5 (or 5cream), but I think that's because even though it is the 5th movie, it's also the first one of the new story - following Sam Carpenter and her sister. It even starts off with a mirrored first kill scene starring Jenna Ortega answering the phone and having to play Ghostface's movie trivia game. I think the next series of movies will all have the roman numeral numbers to differentiate. Anyway, back to the opening scene - first of all, I love Jenna Ortega. And I'm not just jumping on the bandwagon. I saw her in You and thought "wow, she's going to be a big star". The opening scene is SO GOOD as a throwback, but it's also the first time the victim survives!! And the becomes a main character! I mean it's a little ridiculous because she's stabbed like 100 times but still! I like the twist! I think it's obvious who one of the killers is from the beginning (especially with them referencing the original so much), but I never guessed the second one - which is the bff played by Mikey Madison. Again, I think having a petite young woman as the killer is dumb but at least she's a better actress than Emma Roberts. There's also a scene in which Ghostface is standing next to Dewey and they are the same height and stature. Ghostface can't be Jack Quaid in this scene because he's in the scene pretending to be scared of Ghostface at this point. So in theory, it's Mikey under the mask - a 5'3 petite woman standing next to a 5'10 man and they are the same height and stature. I'm sure that there are inconsistencies like this in all of them if I watched closely enough and paid attention to it (I know there is a website that theorizes who is under the Ghostface mask for each scene, which would be interesting - maybe I'll check it out the next time I watch these movies). Anyway, I like a lot about this movie - I think the "requel" aspect is done really well. I love the new characters introduced and the cast is great. Also, killing off Dewey is sad, but necessary. He was always my least favorite character of the series - not to mention, a terrible cop. 

6. Scream VI - I appreciate the turnaround for this sequel - it reminded me of how quick the original Scream sequels were released. I know a lot of people disagree, but I absolutely love this entry. And I loved it even more on a rewatch, so much so that I moved it up in my ranking to second!! I think 2, 5, and 6 are all 3.5 star movies, but this one tips the scale for me mostly because it feels the most fresh - changing the location is a big part of that. And I know that a few of them don't take place in Woodsboro but the other locations are a college that could be in Woodsboro and a film set that looks like Woodsboro. This is the first one that uses a completely different location and uses it well. The bodega scene is one of the best scenes of the entire franchise (and gives Ghostface a gun!). There is also a killer subway scene. I love the opening kill scene too because Samara Weaving is one of my favorite current horror queens, so as soon as I saw her face I was thrilled that she gets to be a Scream opening kill. What an iconic moment for her. I think the only big flaw in this is that the second the roommate says "when I lost my brother" I knew immediately that she was Richie's sister and therefore, Ghostface. And that was only 25 minutes into the movie. Then when she "dies", I realized that the cop is also Ghostface because he was on the scene and probably helped fake her death - plus it has to be a cop collecting all that memorabilia that is also EVIDENCE in multiple homicides (LOL). It was the first time in the whole franchise that I *knew* who the killers were without any hesitation or reconsideration. There is a first time, third killer, but he's sort of inconsequential to the whole movie. And yet, I still think it's the one that gets the balance exactly right - a perfect mix of meta, original characters vs new, and tries something new while still keeping within the "rules" of the Scream universe. I really loved doing this marathon watch because my ranking definitely changed - and I found an appreciation for the series in new ways. It's also the first time that I noticed that "Red Right Hand" plays in all 6 movies. I remember it from the original movie, and then the two new ones, but it can be heard in all of them. That's cool! Plus, as awful as this sounds - Sidney Prescott isn't in this, and I didn't even notice. I love Neve Campbell but these movies have become bigger than her. 

Ranking: 

Scream (1996)

Scream VI 

Scream 2 

Scream (2022)

Scre4m 

Scream 3 

Thoughts on 5 Films

1. Trap - This is probably the dumbest movie I've seen all year, but not the worst. It won't be featured on my Worst of 2024 list, but it's just so fucking stupid it made my brain hurt. I would love to just "go with it", but there are so many plot holes and inconsistencies, it's impossible. But first, I'll start with the good - which basically comes down to Josh Hartnett. He's great here - probably his best performance to date. I know I've told my Hartnett story on here (he went to my college), but I don't think that I've mentioned all the other things we have in common! Aside from going to the same college, we also share a birthday, like to paint as a hobby, and are in love with people with the last name Egerton!! Isn't that crazy!? Annnnyyywayy...I think he does a great job here playing this sort of duel role normal dad/serial killer character. His facial expressions flip so quickly and seamlessly - it's the only interesting part of this whole movie. I also heard the theory that this movie was made to showcase and launch Shyamalan's daughter's pop music career (which I think he admitted (??), so might be more than a theory at this point), and honestly she can sing and has better stage presence than most current pop stars (sorry, as someone who is a huge pop music fan - I don't understand Taylor Swift at all. And I'm starting to believe the rumors that it's all a cult because how do so many people want to pay to watch someone who can't sing live or dance at all - her rhythm is WILDLY off in every clip I've ever seen? She's a talented song writer, but...that's it?). So, I enjoyed the concert that took up approximately a third of the movie. But everything else about this movie is a TOTAL mess. I've always said that I can appreciate Shyamalan even though he's made some of the worst movies ever made (The Happening, The Visit, After Earth), but this doesn't even have the same imagination or thought as any of his previous movies. The entire premise is a gigantic plot hole! *Spoilers ahead* First and foremost - if they *knew* a serial killer was going to be at a gigantic pop concert with thousands of young girls, they would just cancel the concert. There is NO WAY law enforcement would devise this elaborate plan to catch him by...asking every single male attendee psychological questions before exiting the building (that's the literal plan). Second, he probably would have just passed by the authorities unnoticed. He's a serial killer but he's also a "normal" family guy with children and a wife. He obviously knows how to fool everyone. Third, the reason they know he's going to be at this concert is because they found a PAPER receipt for it at one of his crime scenes. In 2024. A PAPER RECEIPT for a concert ticket. Now, they explain at the end that this receipt was left there by his wife who started to suspect her husband was, in fact, The Butcher. WHICH IS EVEN DUMBER!!! Why would this woman leave this clue that would lead police somewhere in which he is WITH THEIR DAUGHTER?! No mother would want their child to witness their father being arrested for being a serial killer! Wouldn't she just call an anonymous tip line or something? It's just SO DUMB. There are so many little things that happen in the movie that just wouldn't happen in real life (like the employee letting him into the back to find more t-shirts - he would lose his job!). But other than the plot being WILD, there's also terrible pacing that makes it drag instead of building suspense. And Saleka (Shyamalan's daughter) is great during the concert scenes, but she can't act. And once the film leaves the concert it gets even more unrealistic. I can't even think about it anymore - just the dumbest shit imaginable. But was I entertained? Sure. 

2. Didi - I loved this. It's a very cute coming-of-age story, but there's also a lot of depth and layers to the writing so that it doesn't come off too fluffy. I saw a lot of push for Joan Chen's performance, and she is great, but I really feel like Izaac Wang is the shining star of this. He's just so...real. Flaws and all, I felt every part of his embarrassment, confusion, anxiety and awkwardness of being a teenager. There are some coming-of-age moments that are more specific to being a teenage boy, and also a Taiwanese American, but most of it is very universal in its relatability. I think the logline sums it up pretty terrifically - "An impressionable 13-year-old Taiwanese boy learns what his parents can't teach him: how to skate, how to flirt, and how to love your mom." It's sweet, and also laugh-out-loud funny in a lot of parts (I died when they keep telling "your mom" jokes to the kid whose mom has cancer, and when he does his E.T. impression clearly never having seen E.T. lol). The writing is just spot-on (it's a semi-autobiographical story written by Sean Wang), and it doesn't linger too long on anything or make anything super obvious - like when all the skater kids traipse into his home and don't take their shoes off. I could feel his awkwardness without him having to say anything. And Chen is definitely very good - the scene in which the same skater kids compliment her paintings, the way she gets so excited...it's just too cute! I just loved it all - it's currently my third favorite film of 2024 (behind Kinds of Kindness and His Three Daughters). 

3. Daddio - I want to like this movie - there's a lot about it that I do like, but overall, I kind of rolled my eyes through the whole thing. The main thing is that I love Dakota Johnson. It's full-on love at this point. She is definitely someone who I was tough on in early roles (the 50 Shades movies, in particular), but she's SO GOOD now. I don't really know how to describe it, but she's just so natural on camera - that sparkle in her eyes, the subtlety of emotions that show on her face, I think she's destined for an Oscar if she just chose better roles (I like a lot of what she's been in, but nothing has been Oscar worthy yet). I do not like the bleached blonde hair in this - and it really makes her look like her mom (you know what's weird, I always knew her mom was Melanie Griffith (and grandma is Tippi Hedren), but I *just now* clocked that her dad is Don Johnson! He's on that new Doctor Odyssey show that is so ridiculous but of course I watch it. I was like "wow...Don Johnson! What's he been up to?" so I googled it and was like..."holy shit! he's Dakota's dad! DUHHHH"). I also like the confined space, mostly single location style film - it is made extremely well. There are some really cool shots, and it's beautifully lit (which is RARE for films nowadays). I also love just watching two people talk - they come from different worlds but create an undeniable bond during this hour and a half taxi ride (although I would HATE it if my taxi driver started talking to me and I would definitely just pretend to be on the phone the whole time). But, the whole gender politics approach to the dialogue is EYE-ROLLING. The reveal of Johnson's character is really dumb (she's dating a married man - which is established from the beginning, but then their is a reveal that is also obvious from the beginning but it's not actually said until the end. And *major spoiler alert ahead* this is the second movie in which Dakota plays someone who has a miscarriage and doesn't immediately see a doctor?!). And some of the dialogue feels like it's supposed to come off as honest, but it's just really cringe (like the whole part where Penn says the quiet part out loud about men being assholes and then he clocks her daddy issues as if it's some sort of big revelation that only he could deduce because he's an observant taxi driver. LOL). I was just frustrated by the whole thing. I mean I could never, ever date someone who texted like a 16 year old boy. They give ZERO reason as to why she is with this married man - and then at the end I think we're supposed to believe that the taxi driver is wrong because he finally texts her that he loves her - as if that's going to solve all their problems and erase all the texts that came before. Also, I love Sean Penn, and the accent - even though it's over-the-top - I can handle, but the gum chewing (like, literal gum chewing) is so grating that I almost couldn't watch. Then he spits it out and I was so relieved for a very short period of time until he takes out MORE GUM!! UGH. 

4. Janet Planet - This is so weird because I saw this movie on the same lists as Didi as being among the best of this year, and there are some really strong reviews about it being a sweet coming-of-age story, and yet I didn't like this at all (and it's also a 2023 release in America so it won't appear on my ranking for this year). I was actually more annoyed by this than anything else - the actual movie is...fine. It's well-made (sort of), the acting is good, and it's got strong bones. It just never really goes anywhere and I think the main characters are incredibly and blissfully unaware of how privileged they are. There's this realization in Didi in which the young boy realizes that his mom is human and has sacrificed so much for him and he "discovers" how lucky he is to have a mom like this. That realization doesn't really happen in this. This little girl is spoiled rotten - almost to a detriment to her own maturity, and she just continues to be a spoiled brat to the very end. And honestly, in all sincerity, I've never seen a woman regret having a child so much in my life. It's separated into three parts - each featuring another person that has entered their life, shifting their relationship, and each part gets worse. I don't really understand why the boyfriend in the beginning is supposed to be seen as bad?! Because he had a migraine and asked for peace and quiet multiple times and she ignored him?? When I was a kid, my mom suffered migraines and I had to be super quiet and sit in the dark and I did it because my mom fucking TOLD ME TO. The end. And now, I get migraines here and there (like 4 a year tops) and I totally understand because any slight noise or light pierces my brain as if someone is stabbing me with a knife. The mom is also, very obviously, privileged because she owns her own acupuncture business and yet can afford her own home and also be a single mom, which is UNHEARD OF but then we learn that she was left an inheritance. On a sidenote - acupuncture is probably the only thing aside from opioids that I haven't tried for my chronic pain and neuropathy because I'm so terrified of it paralyzing me. Anyway, she's also a terrible mother. Aside from raising a spoiled bratty brat, she also criticizes her daughter for being "forthright" (which she caused by raising her like that) and tells her basically that she'll never find a man who will put up with that. FUCK OFF. And THEN she brags about how she can "make any man fall in love" with her?! Is she supposed to have some sort of magnetic personality? Because I didn't get that at all from this character? She's super dull, in my opinion. I do love Julianne Nicholson so much (and I have since Ally McBeal), but the more I think about this movie the more I hate it. Also, some of the shots linger way too long - like why am I watching this little girl wash her hair for like 5 whole minutes? Edit that shit down, please. 

5. Blink Twice - *extreme spoilers ahead* I think this is a very interesting watch so closely to Trap, because it's a reminder that movies can have a ton of plot holes and not be realistic, but can still be GOOD because I can understand the motivation behind it. I get it. So, obviously it doesn't make sense that a perfume can erase memories - but only traumatic memories - and that snake venom can make you remember these previously erased memories. The concept is probably dumber than Trap, but I think the POINT of it is that the desperation that people have for fame and wealth - to be a part of this exclusive group of people living in luxury - causes this imbalance of power in which people are taken advantage of. People become willing to "forget" the trauma and focus on advantages they gain instead - and this is how people like Weinstein, Puff Daddy (I will always call him Puff Daddy), Epstein, etc., kept getting away with all this shit. Whether it's an endless supply of drugs and alcohol, emotional gaslighting, blackmailing, etc., it's all a way of "poisoning" someone to keep a checks and balance of the abused and the abuser in place. So I think the whole perfume poison is just a metaphor for how abusers maintain control. And because of that, I can just "go with it". Overall, I really liked this. And I think for a directorial debut, it is excellent. I will definitely watch more from Zoe Kravitz. It has style and substance, features some terrifically intense scenes, and feels relevant. The highlight for me, is no surprise, Adria Arjona. She is INCREDIBLE in this. I also think this is the first time I've liked Channing Tatum in a serious role - but he does this charming douchebag role very well. I saw someone compare this to Don't Worry, Darling, so I knew there was going to be some sort of twist (I thought it would be closer to the simulation plot of Don't Worry), which there really isn't. The plot is hinted to from the beginning - and I'm someone who is in the "trigger warnings are stupid" camp. First, it gave away the plot. Second, art is supposed to invoke (evoke? I don't know the difference) emotion, get reactions, be surprising! If you have a sensitivity to a certain situation it's up to you to avoid it as best you can, but it's unrealistic to avoid it all together. And if you're watching something that is a rated R thriller/suspense, then you have to be mindful of what that means. The only time I would argue *for* a trigger warning is if it's something dark or traumatic that happens in a blatant comedy (like if someone has a miscarriage in a dumb comedy like Tag, for instance - it's a movie you're watching that's intended to make people laugh, but that's a very triggering event for a lot of people). It's still a grey area, but at least, I can understand it for that case. I don't understand it here. Anyway, there is another little twist that I did really like, even though it makes the plot make even less sense (the she's been there before revelation). I just like that Zoe really went for it with this - she's someone who grew up in this industry of excess and wealth and men always getting what they want, and this feels like a big fuck you to all of it. On a sidenote, I really liked her and Channing as a couple! I thought they were cute. But they announced their breakup like an hour before I started watching this. The film does have a few flaws though - I don't think Naomi Ackie is a good actress at all. I thought she was bad as Whitney, but I thought it was more of a directing issue, but she's not good in this either. Especially compared to Adria - who is able to show layers of fear and terror with just one glance. She's not terrible, but there is just something off about her that made me wish it starred someone else (like Aja Naomi King would have been great in this, and she should be a much bigger star). And I do wish that they addressed just how this perfume works to erase trauma but not any other memory, and yet with the ending - it seems that Channing doesn't remember anything? If they just put some thought into the plot just a tiny bit more it would have been a stellar film.